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2020-2026 AUGUST 9 NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT FROM THE DARKNESS
Episode 116 • 3rd August 2026 • Vinnie De Rosa AKA Cuzin Vinnie • CuzinVinnieNetwork.com
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Speaker:

This was gonna start out as a

audio-video, but it's just gonna be audio.

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:

I, I'm not ready for the video part yet.

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:

But anyway, this is Cousin Vinny on

the Cousin Vinny Network, AKA Vinny

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:

DeRosa, and I wanna take you down the

road of life, how things in an instant

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:

can change your entire prospectus

on what's going on in the world.

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:

I'm gonna take you back

th,:

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I was in St.

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Petersburg celebrating my 70th birthday

after a, uh, relationship that went

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south and, uh, just figuring out

what I wanted to do when I grow up.

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So I felt most comfortable being in St.

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Pete, the Clearwater area, for a few days.

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Contacted a friend of mine who

I went to high school with,

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and she lived down there.

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We met up, went out to dinner, had

some great meal, great entertainment.

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Uh, got a free meal at a

restaurant in downtown St.

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Pete because it was my birthday

and they didn't believe it.

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I thought you only get a dessert,

but they gave us a full meal.

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And it was right there at the, the

COVID craze going on, and people

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were just really, really weird.

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Uh, I never understood that whole thing.

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Well, I understood it.

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It was, it was all

political, unfortunately.

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It was a way to, uh, to really disrupt the

entire global economy We've come through

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it, we survived, and things are changing.

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So back to, um, the, uh, party in St.

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Pete.

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Great time, great food, great hotel.

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Making some decisions as to whether or

not I was gonna move back there or not.

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It was hard on my head, uh,

and my heart about going back.

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I felt comfortable there.

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So I was doing an evaluation

as to whether or not it was

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worth the time and the energy.

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So coming back, I knew I had to go

renew my driver's license, so I went

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to the DMV that Monday, and lo and

behold, because of my age, they give

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you a spot eye test just to make

sure that you still have your vision.

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And at the time, I was still

wearing glasses, uh, not really

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strong ones, but, you know, okay.

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And, um, went in , and the lady

says, "All right, let's do the test."

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So I do the test, and I fail.

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I failed the eye test.

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You talk about devastating.

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I said, "What are my choices?"

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She goes, "Well, we'll give you 30 days

to come back with a, uh, a, a certificate

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or a letter from the doctor saying

that your eyesight has been corrected,

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and, uh, you'll give your back…

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You'll, you know, you'll,

your license will renew, but

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we're gonna give you 30 days."

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So scrambling out of there, trying to

find a doctor that would see me within

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30 days was almost virtually impossible.

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Uh, really hard to do.

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Uh, and, uh, time was

coming up on the 30 days.

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Didn't find another doctor.

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Went back to DMV.

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They gave me another extension.

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So I went from August to September,

to September to October, October

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to November, three extensions.

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At the third one, it was

either November or December.

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I'm trying to put all these dates

in my head, and God, when I get

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done with this, you're gonna go,

"How do you remember all this?"

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Well, I didn't.

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I, I, I, I tried to go back to the

calendars and try to sync up calendars,

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and it was just becoming too, too, too

cumbersome, so I'm going from memory.

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And, uh, so I went back the third time.

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They said, "Sorry."

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She took my driver's license,

and they don't cut it.

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They pop a hole in the middle of it.

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Somewhere in a certain strategic

location, there's a hole in it so that

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if you got stopped with it, uh, the

police would know that your license

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was not valid, even though it expired

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So got home, told my sister what was

going on, and we started scrambling

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to try to find, uh, a doctor.

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So I called the VA, went into, uh,

the VA doctor and, uh, I think it

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was at, uh, uh, in the Villages.

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Met with the doctor there.

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He looked at it, says, "Yeah,

uh, you caught cataract.

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Uh, you're gonna have to have it removed.

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Uh, we can set up a schedule,

you, you know, for surgery."

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And I go, "Great."

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So, uh, and it was during COVID and

when all the craziness was going on.

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So I got scheduled for the cataract

surgery with a local doctor in Crystal

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River who, uh, had his facilities

there in Lecanto where they do the,

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uh, they do day surgery type stuff.

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So it was gonna be, you know, in

and out, get it done, and great.

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Excellent.

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I'll get, you know, new cataract, new

lens, you know, and they measured me

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for the lens and all that good stuff.

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And went in for the surgery that morning.

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Millie had drove me.

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It was during COVID and, you

know, all that crap, so she

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drove me in, uh, for the surgery.

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My sister picked me up after it, and,

you know, they got you all bandaged up

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and said, "Okay, we'll see you tomorrow."

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So next day I go into the doctor's

office and they take the bandage

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off and wow, my vision was

absolutely crystal clear and clean.

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It was, it was nothing like I've ever

seen before in my life, especially in

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that eye that was good all these years.

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It was even 10 times better.

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So I'm making calls to all my friends.

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I'm on the lanai at my sister's

house, Mom and Dad's old home.

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And I'm making calls to people,

you know, just, you know, giving

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them updates as to what was going

on and how I felt and great.

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So two, three days, excellent.

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Excellent.

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Then all of a sudden,

everything went to shit.

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My eye started getting blurry.

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I couldn't focus, couldn't see, and I

hadn't got an appointment yet back to

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see the doctor 'cause it was a couple…

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It was like a week after the, uh, surgery.

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So I go in and go, "Uh, what's going on?"

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"Oh, it's gotta heal.

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It's gotta heal."

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"Okay.

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Uh, that's not what I've seen before

online as to, you know, healing time."

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And again, you know, everything

online is not always the, the fact.

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So let it heal.

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Let it heal.

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Okay, so we let it heal.

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Go back in about a week

later, looks at it.

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"Yep, still gotta heal.

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Uh, let's put these drops."

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Okay, we put drops in.

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I was on a regimen of four or five

different drops at a time, putting

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in these drops in my eye, nothing.

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He goes, "Okay, we'll

get a medicated lens."

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So they put a contact lens in there,

so there was medication on it.

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And that went on for another month.

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So now we're, you know, two months after

surgery, and we're into the new year,

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and I'm going, "Okay, now it's 2021.

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Uh, is this gonna get any better?"

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And this went on for almost four

and a half, five months of this

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bullshit from this doctor just not

paying attention to what I had.

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I had an issue in my eye.

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I had the shingles in my eye back in the

:

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And someone had seen it in an

exam years ago and made a comment

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about it, but that was it.

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Well, when, uh, excuse me.

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When they did the cataract surgery,

exposed it, so the shingles

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decided to rear its ugly head.

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And the doctor in Crystal

River totally misdiagnosed.

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I mean, totally and

completely just missed it.

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So I'm getting frustrated.

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I'm getting frustrated,

getting frustrated.

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And, um, at that time, I was due

for my colonoscopy at the VA, but

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I blew it off because my vision

was the most important thing to me.

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So I ended up with another doctor

up in Gainesville at the University

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of Florida and, uh, went in, they

looked at it, they treated it.

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They said, "You know, we really

can see that there's scar tissue

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on the, on the lens, and we think

that we can, you know, salvage it."

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And I said, "Great."

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He said, "You got the, you got

the cataract surgery, so you

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got the new cataract in there

and everything, so you know…

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I mean, the new lens in there

and everything, so that's good.

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So let's see if we can fix it."

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So they put me on antibiotics.

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I think it was a couple weeks later,

I went back up to Gainesville, and the

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doctor says, "Okay, the procedure is this.

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We're gonna prop your eyelid open.

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This is all gonna be local anesthesia.

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We're not gonna put you under, and

we're gonna prop your eye open, and

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we're gonna scrape your eyeball."

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I go, "What?"

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"Yeah, we're gonna scrape your eyeball,

and we're gonna get all that gunk off

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of it, and hopefully that will fix it."

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Excuse me.

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When I, when I start coughing

like this, it's stress.

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It's, it's not, uh, a

sickness, it's a stress cough.

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I, I get stressed.

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You can tell when I'm

stressed, I start coughing.

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It's a bad tell.

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So doctor…

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Oh, God, what was it?

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God, I had so many doctors.

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Wonderful lady.

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Um, she came in, looked at me.

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She goes, "Yep.

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All right, now here's what we're gonna do.

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We're gonna numb you up, put

you in the chair, don't move,

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and we'll take care of it."

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So I'm sitting there in the chair,

not moving as instructed, and I can

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see this blade coming towards my eye.

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I mean, I can see it, and I can

see it going across my, my vision.

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Up and down, left and right,

up and down, left and right,

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up and down, left and right.

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And she goes, "Okay, now

just let's blink blink."

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So I blink blinked a couple of times.

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She put some drops in.

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I sat up.

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She goes, "Okay, let's keep your

eyes closed for a few minutes."

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So I sat there in the chair quietly,

patiently, excuse me, waiting

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for her to give me the okay.

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So I open up my eyes and she goes, "What?"

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I go, "Oh, fuck.

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I can see you, doc."

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She goes, "Yay, we gotcha."

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And I was elated.

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I was thrilled beyond belief.

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She goes, "Okay, we got you on this

medication to keep everything, you know,

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from getting infected and all that stuff."

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And I said, "Great."

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And, uh, I said, "I need to

get my driver's license back."

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And she goes, "Okay, where's the form?"

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So she signed the form that

I was, you know, capable.

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She goes, "But give it a week."

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So I gave it a week.

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I didn't jump in and go get

my driver's license at DMV.

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We went back for the post-op

and she goes, "Looks good.

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Looks clear.

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Go ahead.

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You can go do that."

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And I was trying to put the

calendar together, dates and times,

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and, you know, it's irrelevant.

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It all happened in the last six years

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So I go into DMV, and I hand her my

paperwork, and she goes, "Oh, well, you

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know, you gotta retake the driver's test."

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I go, "The driving part

or the written part?"

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She goes, "No, the written part."

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She goes, "You wanna study for it?"

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I go, "No, just give it to me right now."

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So after all the trauma of the

surgery and getting my vision back,

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I'm sitting in DMV, the first time

I've had to go retake the test since

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I was 15 years old back in 1965.

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And I'm going, "Well, I'm

not gonna pass this thing."

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So I sat there.

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And, you know, you answer the

question, it goes to the next one.

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Answer the question, it goes to

the next one, on and on and on.

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And I got done with all the questions.

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And I'm sitting there patiently.

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Goes, "Well, we're gonna review

it and make sure, you know,

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it's valid," and all that crap.

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And when I was sitting there

taking the test, there was a young

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man next to me going, "Oh, shit.

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Oh, shit.

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Oh, shit."

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He was just freaking

out about the questions.

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And I'm going, "Didn't you study?"

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Now, granted, I didn't even open a book.

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I, I just figured,

well, I'm gonna SWAG it.

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You know what that means,

scientific wild-ass guess.

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And part of it's from driving

all these years, so at least

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I think I have some knowledge.

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So I got back into the room there.

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She goes, "You passed."

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I go, "I did?"

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She goes, "Yeah.

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You got most of it right.

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You know what I mean?

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You got enough to pass, but you had

a bunch more right, and you're good."

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So they gave me back my driver's license.

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So I'm thinking, "Wow, that's one more

hurdle out of the, out of the way.

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You know, the driver's license is back.

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Now what else could happen?"

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Well, I'm gonna blend in some

things here, and then I'm gonna

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talk about it in more detail.

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Well, I, uh, postponed

getting a colonoscopy

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So I had to make an appointment

to go get a colonoscopy.

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And, uh, the VA set it up at Tampa…

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Not Tampa Palms, Tampa,

uh, the one in Tampa.

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I can't think of the name of it now.

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But it wasn't Tampa Pi- it wasn't Bay

Pines in, in Pinellas where I had gone

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the first time m- many years before.

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So I'm in Tampa at the VA.

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It was around my birthday.

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And, um, my vision was okay.

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It was still kinda fuzzy, but it was okay

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And, uh, there was a young man

in the bed next to me who had

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been in Iraq and just tough time

for the young guy, really tough.

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So we had a long night conversation, and

I was on the fasting thing 'cause I had

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to go get my colonoscopy the next day.

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And now, at that time, I had vision.

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I mean, it was back.

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It was not strong, but it was good.

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It was enough for me to get, you

know, to see, but not great vision

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Um, because months before that,

the scar tissue redeveloped in

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my eye and it blurred me out.

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So I couldn't really--

couldn't drive again.

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I had my vision back for about

seven, eight months, nine

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months, something like that.

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And, uh, it, it, it just

became a, a turmoil.

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So I'm gonna get back to the,

uh, eyesight again in a moment.

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So I go in for my colonoscopy

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And, uh, I'm gonna cover that in

part two, in the colonoscopy part.

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All right, so now we're fast-forwarding

past the colonoscopy and the

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botched up diagnosis on that one.

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Um, in the interim, I'm having issues

with my eyesight, so I got tired

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of being dealt with incompetent

local doctors, and then the VA sent

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me to, um, a specialist in Tampa

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And, uh, Dr.

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España, I can remember some of the

doctors' names, not all of them, went

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in with, with, you know, the issue of my

eyesight, my left eye, my right eye, and

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all that, and he suggested that we do

a, uh, cataract surgery on my right eye.

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I said, "Okay, let's do that."

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So they did a cataract surgery on me.

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Now, at this time still, I'm still

dealing with my other issues from the

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colonoscopy, which I'm gonna talk about

in depth on the next bit, next podcast

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And they take me in to the

prep room before the procedure.

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And, you know, the day before you're

drinking all this freaking jugs

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of liquid, and that's all I had

'cause I got there that afternoon.

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Put me in a room, and they

put me on this shit before the

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night before the colonoscopy.

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And I'm not seeing anything either.

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Uh, you know, my vision was kinda

really getting worse at that point.

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So they roll me in and, uh,

give me the colonoscopy, roll

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me back out, and I can get a…

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Nurse comes up, she goes, "Mm,

they didn't like what they saw.

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We gotta do it again

tomorrow, so keep drinking."

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So again, this will be part two.

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So understand now I'm blind, can't

see, dealing with a colonoscopy that

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they gotta redo again the next morning.

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So now I'm gonna go back to

the vision part of the story.

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So I've been blinded this whole time.

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My vision's shot.

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My sister's driving me to appointments.

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Pete's driving me.

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Dwayne's driving me.

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Um, uh, Sharon drove me to

a couple of appointments.

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So, you know, the, the cancer came in

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After, uh, the colonoscopy.

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But I'm gonna go back to the

vision part a little bit.

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It's kinda hard because they all kinda

intertwine, and maybe I shouldn't.

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But I, I wanna talk about the eyesight

'cause it's, it's been the most critical

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component of my entire recovery.

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Between losing my eyesight, having

cancer, and my hips, my eyesight has

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been the biggest, biggest worry of all

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So I ended up getting another cataract

surgery done on my right eye, which was

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my bad eye, which would became my good

eye 'cause it was the only one that was

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working 'cause my left eye got fucked

up by the doctor in Crystal River.

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So they did cataract surgery on my right

eye, and to today I've got vision out of

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it, which I've never had in 70-plus years.

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I mean, I can't drive with it,

but I have enough vision that

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God forbid my left eye would not

work, at least I could get around.

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Not drive, but I could at least see

things without bumping into walls

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and feeling like a totally doofus.

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So we got that done,

and in the meantime, Dr.

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España was taking care of my left eye.

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And how I got to these doctors at Tampa

General is a whole nother story, which

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occurred during the part two version

of my story about the cancer treatment,

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and how one doctor who was trying to

fix one problem found another doctor

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to help me fix the other problem.

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Long story short, I'm in, in the

hospital bed after my surgery for

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cancer, which I'm gonna get into in

more, more depth in the next podcast.

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The doctor there had

asked me about my vision.

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I told him what was going on, and the day

after my cl- uh, cancer surgery, three

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doctors were in my room in the hospital

examining my eyes and diagnosing it.

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So long story short, the doctor who

took care of my cancer led me to

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the doctor who fixed my blindness.

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So back to the eyes.

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I know I'm bouncing around.

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I tried all kinds of logical ways

to make this flow, but I think

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each of these procedures are

s- distinct and very impactful

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So I'm going through

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the next phase of eyes

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Dr.

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Espaňa did the, like I said, the

cataract surgery on my right eye.

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Great.

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He goes, "Let me look at your left eye."

356

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He said, "Yep, I see the problem.

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You had shingle in your eye, and it

damaged all of the nerves and all

358

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this other stuff, and there's not

a whole lot we can do about this."

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Now, this was in 2024-ish

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And in between 2020 and 2024, not only did

I have my eye surgeries, but I also had

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chemo, radiation, and, and cancer surgery,

two sur- three surgeries, two surgeries.

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So it's been kinda hard to

not blend them into one, but I

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wanna talk about each individual

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procedure because they all

interchanged and integrated into

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each other at some point in time.

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Here I am with

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Poor vision

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The doctor is telling me that the

only cure to it or procedure he can

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think of is a cornea transplant.

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Now, remember, this is almost two

and a half, three, almost four

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years from the time it all started.

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I had vision for a short period

of time, and it went away, and

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then back into the darkness again.

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So this entire time, I'm relying on

other people to get me to appointments,

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to take me to Tampa, take me to

Gainesville, take me to, you know, Ocala,

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wherever it was to go to appointments.

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I couldn't drive.

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I couldn't see.

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I only had a brief window of

vision there, and I lost it.

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I thought and thought and

thought and thought, "God

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What's next?

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God doesn't give you

more than you can handle

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And at times I thought, "Man

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I, I, I've, I've-- I'm paying

for a lot of bad things.

385

:

And it's not bad things or karma or

any other crap, it's just, just life.

386

:

You go entire lifetime sometimes with

nothing happening, and then it all hits.

387

:

And again, when I turned 70,

everything turned to shit.

388

:

My vision was my biggest concern,

so I didn't care about the cancer,

389

:

which I'm gonna talk about.

390

:

I didn't care about my hips, how much

it hurt, because it started hurting

391

:

before all this stuff even started.

392

:

I was having trouble with my hips before

the eye surgery in, in August, or when

393

:

my vision went out in August of 2020.

394

:

I was having hip problems before that

395

:

You really, really don't know

how much you can handle until

396

:

it's been presented to you

397

:

I've said before, and I've said

this to others, your vision.

398

:

You can lose your hearing.

399

:

Okay, it's tough.

400

:

You can read sign language.

401

:

Uh, you can lose a limb.

402

:

Yeah.

403

:

You can have a heart attack.

404

:

Yeah, they can put a valve or a

pump or whatever it is, you know,

405

:

or you lose a leg or an arm.

406

:

Losing your vision of everything

that I've been involved with or

407

:

seen or been a part of or, or, uh,

was, was basically exposed to with

408

:

people around me is the toughest one.

409

:

For me it was

410

:

For me it was

411

:

You miss the beauty of

a lot of things in life.

412

:

The people around you, just the everyday

things that you take for granted when

413

:

you get up in the morning, you know, pour

that cup of coffee, look out the window

414

:

and, you know, watch the fox go through

the yard with a chicken in its mouth

415

:

It, it really, really, really

416

:

I hate to say it, gave me vision.

417

:

Gave me visions of myself, where

I was going, where I was headed.

418

:

I was on a roll.

419

:

Uh, the, the, the podcasting

was just cranking.

420

:

I was, I was doing shows, I was

doing stuff at the mall, and that's

421

:

another animal that got ripped apart.

422

:

The mall got leveled.

423

:

Maybe one day I'll talk about

the mall adventures and all

424

:

the things that occurred there.

425

:

That may be another

episode of fun and chaos.

426

:

I, um, I gotta say that

427

:

You have days where there's little

hope, little joy, and then there

428

:

are days of small accomplishments

429

:

I have to say that most of

the time I was visionless.

430

:

I tried not to, to

burden everyone with it.

431

:

I mean, obviously I couldn't

drive by braille anymore 'cause

432

:

they took my license away.

433

:

I, um, I learned to, and I, I heard this

from a few people, say that I softened up.

434

:

Yeah, right, I've softened up.

435

:

Maybe I have.

436

:

It's given me a totally

different prospectus on life

437

:

Here it is

438

:

August the 3rd

439

:

And

440

:

I'm

441

:

Able to see again

442

:

I went through

443

:

Two cataract surgeries

and a cornea transplant

444

:

The first, oh, exam, I, of, of, of, uh,

445

:

what am I trying to think of?

446

:

The first procedure was my left eye, which

was my good eye, which was now my bad eye.

447

:

You know, they did the cataract

surgery, so it blew it up,

448

:

and it went, uh, to shit.

449

:

Then we did my right eye just

to help get rid of some of

450

:

the cloudiness in the vision.

451

:

So that now to today, here in

:

452

:

in an eye that I didn't have.

453

:

Not great, but it's okay.

454

:

As for my left eye, which then

was the biggest blessing, that Dr.

455

:

España said we can do a cornea transplant.

456

:

I can remember the day

he, he said it to me.

457

:

He said, "We can do the transplant.

458

:

There's a 50/50 chance

that it won't take."

459

:

How do I know?

460

:

There was a lady in the, uh, waiting room,

461

:

and we were talking, and

she had, had it done twice.

462

:

She goes, she goes, "The first time it

lasted for about six, seven years, and

463

:

they had to come back in and do it again."

464

:

She goes, "You just don't know."

465

:

So I'm, I'm there with, I think what?

466

:

I think Pete was there, and

my sister was there that day.

467

:

So we go in, and Dr.

468

:

España says, "Danny, here is the choices.

469

:

What's your decision?"

470

:

I go, "Do it."

471

:

I didn't even, I didn't even hesitate.

472

:

I did not even hesitate for

him to do the procedure.

473

:

I said, "Look, I'm ready."

474

:

So we scheduled the appointment

475

:

And I got, I was gonna, I started doing

timelines and charts and dates, and I go,

476

:

"That's gonna be just too cumbersome."

477

:

So my right eye was healed.

478

:

It was functioning.

479

:

He says, "We're gonna do the surgery

480

:

So back to Tampa General.

481

:

I-- my sister took me and,

uh, went in for the procedure.

482

:

They have you all bandaged up, you know,

nice and tight and clean and covered, and

483

:

the next day you go in for the post-op.

484

:

He takes off the, uh, the, uh,

bandage, and just as I did in

485

:

Gainesville, I went, "Holy shit!

486

:

I can see."

487

:

And it was the c- the clearest

vision I've ever had in that eye.

488

:

I mean, ultra clear, ultra

clean, just phenomenal vision.

489

:

Phenomenal vision.

490

:

And, uh

491

:

Oh, shoot.

492

:

I didn't turn my phone off.

493

:

I'm sorry

494

:

That was bad on me.

495

:

I'm gonna turn her off now

496

:

So anyway, um, so I had the

vision back and I'm, I'm,

497

:

I'm, um

498

:

Sitting there

499

:

Thanking God and all the people

who were involved for giving

500

:

me back the gift that I lost

501

:

Uh, in the interim, well, there were

a lot of people who helped me through

502

:

a lot of days and issues and mishaps.

503

:

Um, I'm not gonna name all of them.

504

:

I thought about that, but you

know, you know who you are

505

:

There were a few that

really came close to me

506

:

And a few that have gone away

507

:

So as I hear and speak today,

uh, I went back up to, um, Dr.

508

:

España's office, and he said,

"Okay, um, you're good."

509

:

He said, uh, "I suggest that you get

a certain strength, uh, contact lens."

510

:

So he suggested that.

511

:

He says, "But you can't do a soft

lens, you have to do a hard lens."

512

:

I said, "Okay."

513

:

So they only had one specialist at that

time in Gain- in, uh, Oak- in Ta-Tampa.

514

:

Geez.

515

:

Tampa.

516

:

And I said, "You know, I'm

gonna go back up to Gainesville.

517

:

I had a good, good experience

with the doctors up there

518

:

with my glasses and stuff."

519

:

And so I went back up to Gainesville

and met with the doctor up

520

:

there, and the doctor says, "Yep,

yep, we can do the hard lens."

521

:

And you know how hard it is to find

someone that can do a hard lens

522

:

basically from Tampa to, to Gainesville?

523

:

It doesn't exist.

524

:

I mean, you talk about days

and days and days of calling

525

:

cl- you know, optometrists.

526

:

They don't do 'em.

527

:

So luckily, I got an appointment in

Gainesville, went up, they measured my

528

:

vision, and they put a temporary lens in

there to see how it would feel and do,

529

:

and I go, "Wow, that is really great."

530

:

So they, uh,

531

:

they fitted me for a contact

532

:

That was about nine months ago.

533

:

Maybe nine, 10 months ago.

534

:

Again, I'm bad on timelines.

535

:

I apologize, but the whole point of

the story is they gave me a hard lens.

536

:

Getting used to putting it

in was a task and a trip.

537

:

My eyes are really sensitive.

538

:

My eyelids are shot.

539

:

They don't stay open, so you gotta

prop them open to get it in there.

540

:

I dropped contact on the table so many

times, and I would say, "If I have to do

541

:

a tube of solution, I'm stopping after

that 'cause I'm gonna get frustrated."

542

:

And, um, um, it went well.

543

:

And then I went back for the post-op

or the post-visit on the hard lens,

544

:

and she did a re-examination on me

about, oh gosh, eight weeks ago maybe.

545

:

No, maybe three months ago maybe.

546

:

I don't remember.

547

:

It's, it's the days and times

are just floating through.

548

:

So I got back up to Gainesville.

549

:

She goes, "We're gonna try a new

lens on you, put a little more

550

:

stronger lens in there, and I think

we can get better view, vision."

551

:

So I got the new lens, popped it in.

552

:

Man, what amazing difference.

553

:

And I've gotten better

about putting the lens in.

554

:

It's been a task, you know, your,

your, your, your reflexes fight

555

:

off, you know, invasion, invasion.

556

:

So about a week and a half ago,

I'm popping in my new heavy-duty

557

:

functioning lens, 'cause I, I don't

wear it every day and I should.

558

:

And, uh, I pop it in and it, it didn't

get centered like it's supposed to.

559

:

So I took the little plunger to pull

it out, and as it came out, it hit top

560

:

of the table, and somehow it shattered.

561

:

And I'm going, "Oh my gosh,

my lens is shattered."

562

:

Well, I had the backup.

563

:

I had the lens from the previous

script that they gave me, which was

564

:

a little bit not as strong as the

one I had on, but that was fine.

565

:

So I gave it a day to kinda

calm down, think about it.

566

:

So I gave it a couple more days and I

go to put it in, and I get it in and I

567

:

stand up and it falls out, and it falls

on the floor in the kitchen and shatters.

568

:

So now here I am with glasses

I can see to get around.

569

:

I can drive okay, but I'm not

comfortable, and I just broke two lenses.

570

:

This is a week ago, and I'm basically

SOL, 'cause now I gotta get back up to

571

:

Gainesville 'cause they ordered a new lens

and the, and the company's gonna replace

572

:

that one, and I gotta bring a second

lens to them that broke also, which I'm

573

:

probably gonna end up having to pay for.

574

:

The moral to the story is…

575

:

I don't know what the

moral to the story is.

576

:

I don't think there is

a moral to this story

577

:

What I've taken away

from all of this is that

578

:

You're not given things

that you can't handle.

579

:

It may be overwhelming at

the time when it occurs.

580

:

There are other outside forces involved.

581

:

There are other circumstances that

are going on at the same time.

582

:

I could have done the woe is me, put my

head in the sand, and just not surfaced.

583

:

That's not part of my MO.

584

:

I, uh

585

:

In the last four or five weeks, redid

my studio in the second bedroom.

586

:

It's all set up for interviews, guests.

587

:

I, I got it all set up, and I started

recording some stuff the other day.

588

:

In the last couple of weeks, I've

been doing some more recordings.

589

:

This is the culmination of,

of a series of recordings.

590

:

I found some stuff that I had done

when I, when I couldn't see really

591

:

well that I had recorded unedited.

592

:

I-- and I'm not gonna edit this either.

593

:

It's coming out the way it, it went in.

594

:

But I think what, what made me

really, really appreciate life was

595

:

when you have one of your senses

taken from you, others come in and

596

:

replace some of it, not all of it.

597

:

You, you don't lose everything.

598

:

You lose a little part

599

:

But there's hope that that

little part can be fixed

600

:

I don't know if this is gonna help anyone,

hurt someone, ask questions about it.

601

:

All I know is that

602

:

God decided to do something

with me different.

603

:

I still don't know what my path is.

604

:

I kinda got a sense of what

it is and where it's going

605

:

I said that if my vision were to be gone

forever, I would have to cope with it.

606

:

And I, I was prepared for it before Dr.

607

:

Spina said we could do the cornea.

608

:

And again, there was no guarantee

that the cornea transplant

609

:

would take based on statistics.

610

:

So there was a 50/50 shot.

611

:

"Now how long will it last?"

612

:

He says, "It could last a

year, could last 10 years.

613

:

It could ra- last the rest of your life."

614

:

He goes, "It-- We don't know."

615

:

I wanna say that whoever's cornea this

was, thank you, thank you, thank you

616

:

I hope I

617

:

Carry your, your vision

well into the future.

618

:

You're the one that saw

it first before I did.

619

:

I don't wanna be the last person to see it

620

:

A lot of things have happened in

my life in the last few months.

621

:

Realization of life

622

:

Things that are good, things that are

bad, people that come into your life

623

:

that make it so much excitement and

joy, and then people you want out of

624

:

your life because they were a drain

625

:

Or hurt you in a way

that you didn't expect

626

:

If this helps anyone, I, I'm happy.

627

:

I'm, I'm-- My mission was

not to, to get a woe is me.

628

:

I don't need that.

629

:

You're gonna hear some

stories when I get into my

630

:

cancer that are even more

631

:

dramatic than this.

632

:

Not dramatic, more heartfelt.

633

:

It was a whole different

experience I didn't even know

634

:

that I could even experience

635

:

On the ninth, which is only

about, what, six, seven, seven

636

:

days away, whatever it is.

637

:

Today's the second, I think.

638

:

Whatever the day is, first or second.

639

:

Third.

640

:

This will come out on the third

641

:

So I'm doing it on the second

642

:

Just remember this

643

:

You're not alone

644

:

There are people in your life

645

:

Are there to help you.

646

:

And there are people there

sometimes that wanna hurt you

647

:

You can't do a thing about it

648

:

All you can do is live each

day as if it's your last.

649

:

And, you know, I, I, I've

taken that to so heart.

650

:

There's no guarantee of tomorrow.

651

:

When I lay my head down on the pillow

tonight, I may not wake up tomorrow.

652

:

And if I didn't, I think now with what

I'm doing these next few days, I will

653

:

have some peace, and I'll be able to

have some direction as to what next

654

:

phase of my life is gonna be like

655

:

If someone hears this

and it helps you, great.

656

:

If you'd like to call me, call me.

657

:

My number is in the podcast.

658

:

I'm not gonna put it on here

659

:

I was gonna do video, but

I had too many distractions

660

:

I'll be doing videos at some point

when we start getting into some of

661

:

the other things that I wanna do.

662

:

But right now, my, my main focus

was talking about the loss of

663

:

my sight, and not only my visual

sight, but my sight of my life.

664

:

What was important to me, things

that were important six years

665

:

ago, seven years ago, irrelevant.

666

:

You learn to focus on the things

that bring you happiness and joy.

667

:

You learn to focus on

things that can help others.

668

:

I got a friend of mine who made a

comment, oh gosh, about two years ago.

669

:

She goes, "You've gotten a lot softer.

670

:

You're not as harsh as you used to be."

671

:

Well,

672

:

sometimes you gotta be led down

the road and taught a few lessons

673

:

And what I've learned is

that God doesn't make junk

674

:

Thank you, and God bless you

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