In this solo episode of the Connected Pleasure Podcast, Kayla explores what it truly means to receive in a culture that conditions women to over give and stay in control. Drawing from priestess wisdom, nervous system healing, and the Great Mother archetype, she shares how safety — not effort — is the foundation of pleasure and intimacy. Anchored in the liminal energy of Imbolc, this episode is an invitation to soften, release control, and remember the body’s innate capacity to be held. A grounding listen for anyone longing to reconnect with pleasure, presence, and embodied trust.

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Welcome, beloveds, to the Connected Pleasure Podcast.

I am your host, Kayla Moore, certified sex therapist turned pleasure priestess and feminine liberation coach.

This is a sacred space where we burn down the old narratives and rise into a new way of being, one led by intuition, pleasure and embodied truth.

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Welcome, beloveds, back to the Connected Pleasure Podcast.

I'm Kayla, your host.

I go by she, her, hers, pronouns, and today you get an episode of Just Me.

So today I wanted to talk about receiving and knowing that right now is such a hard collective moment.

There's so much going on right now and hopefully this episode can be a place for you to take a breath, to exhale, and to feel like you can come home to your body.

So with that, let's close our eyes for a moment.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Take one more deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth, and just settle in to where we are in this moment, knowing that you are safe right here, right now.

If you are listening to this, hopefully you are in a safe space.

So the last month I have started my training as a priestess, a sacred feminine priestess.

And a sacred feminine priestess is a little bit hard to explain.

I'm still trying to conceptualize the best way to explain it.

Essentially though, it is still a spiritual leader in the community.

But priestesses have a very special path and role that we play in society.

We used to have priestesses in society when we were more of a matriarchal collectivist and ruled by the earth and the cosmos society, back before there was patriarchy and priestesses were there to steward temples, to steward community.

They were not only there to make sure that the community had spiritual Guidance and leadership and somewhere where people could turn when they had questions.

But the temples were also places where communities came together.

They got supplies that they needed, sometimes they got healthcare, they got counseling.

It was really a hub of the community that gave the community what it needed.

And so there's this feeling with priestess work that is really holding a lot of different spaces and containers.

A lot of our holidays are kind of tweaked from pagan earth holidays.

And in bulk is a cross quarter holiday between the December solstice.

Or in the northern hemisphere, we call it the winter solstice, but it's the December solstice and the like.

Usually in March equinox, which is again in the northern hemisphere, is our spring equinox.

So we have the big holidays are on the solstices and the equinox equinoxes, and then we have cross quarter holidays.

And so in bulk is this space again in the northern hemisphere between winter and spring.

It's the halfway point between the beginning of winter and the beginning of spring.

And it is very much a time to start thinking about, like, how do we lay the groundwork and the foundation for what we want to be coming into bloom during spring?

Like, this is when the seeds are starting to think about coming to life.

They're starting to like, prepare for what they need to start to really grow into little tiny shoots.

And we already have a few that are starting to peek through, through.

So in our own lives, it's a really good time to start thinking about what do we want to be in full bloom come spring or be blooming in spring in our lives, and how do we set the foundation work for that?

And one of the symbols that comes up in im bulk is the Celtic cross that has like a circle and then a cross.

And again, crosses were also adapted in Christianity from pagan symbols that were used in a lot of these different holidays and festivals.

And so the circle symbolizes everything is connected and the cycles that we go through.

And then the priestess is kind of at the intersection of this cross, we have the connection to the earth.

If you think of when you are sitting or standing going straight down into earth, we are connected deep down into the root of the earth.

And then that energy goes through our body and then shoots up through the top of our head, the crown of our head, into the cosmos.

And we are also connected to the cosmos.

And then there is a horizontal plane, so that's the vertical plane.

And we have a horizontal plane too, that is symbolizing being connected to everything in the 3D realm.

So we are all connected as people, as one.

And also like with the earth, with the animals and the plants, and everything that resides on this earth, that we are in community and union with all of those things.

And so the priestess kind of stands at this cross point between the heavens, the earth, and then this horizontal plane of unity with everything on the earthly plane.

And the priestess really holds the energy of all of that and leads with love and with compassion and is able to really, especially in this moment, like, hold the crumbling of the old with the birthing of a new.

And that's really kind of what imbolt symbolizes as well, is when we are in the winter period of the Earth cycle, it is like the death portal.

We go through a like, dying off period during fall.

And then during the wintertime, things are dead, things are quiet, things are in what we call the void, which is like the womb of darkness.

And so much richness can come from the stillness and the darkness that we go into.

And Imbolc is kind of this cross between still being in the darkness, but starting to see the light.

And we're seeing.

We're still like, holding the death and the darkness that we have in winter, while also holding this renewal and spring energy that we know is coming pretty soon.

And so I just wanted to kind of anchor us in what a priestess is and kind of the energy that I'm sitting in as I walk this path.

And so in my priestess training, we really look at 13.

There's lots of them, but 13 different sacred feminine archetypes that live within all of us.

Archetypes are kind of.

I like to think of them as a story that is being told about kind of human psychology as well as, like, the arc of humanity.

There are different facets of who we are that help us really understand who we are, where we've been and where we want to go.

And so the first archetype that I have been really deep embodying in this work that I have is the Great Mother.

And the Great Mother is this archetype of being in the arms of love, being in the arms of unconditional love, where there's nothing that you need to do to earn that love.

All you have to do is surrender into that space.

If you close your eyes and picture a mother, like, wrapping her arms all the way around you, holding you in her arms, holding you to her soft belly, to her soft breasts and womb space, and really embracing you, soothing you and loving on you.

That is the Great Mother.

The Great Mother is in.

In creation.

The Great Mother symbolizes all of creation and all of the potential energy that we can use to create new things.

It stems from the womb space, and her frequency color is burgundy because it symbolizes the menstrual blood that we have in our womb.

That is the fertilizer to life.

And we can also think of the Great Mother as our Earth, which a lot of the spiritual community calls Gaia.

And I looked it up.

That comes from a Greek goddess, Gaia, that means earth or land.

And we always think of Earth as like Mother Earth.

And that is because the Earth is again, about creation, that it is the ecosystem that holds everything together.

And so when we think of that cross quarter again of energy, when we root down into the Earth, we have this very visceral and deep connection to the Great Mother and to Gaia.

And then we can also think of the Great Mother as the universe as well, of everything in the universe and the cosmos that is holding us as well.

And so we have a very visceral connection going upward into the heavens, into the cosmos, through our bodies as well.

And so there's kind of this duality with the Great Mother archetype of being able to be the Great Mother and embody the Great Mother, because again, all of these archetypes live within us, but then also being able to receive the Great Mother and be able to be that child that is held in the Mother's arms.

And I will just tell you that when I have been in ceremony and in our temple spaces and I have been processing this for myself, I realized that I am really good at being the space holder, being the Great Mother, being the sacred person who holds other people in the sacred space of healing.

I'm not always great at being the one that is able to lean back and receive for myself.

And when I pair this with my work with pleasure and with healing our sexual trauma and understanding of like, how do I really surrender and receive?

I think all of this has role to play in that.

I think we as women have really been taught to be the more shadow sides of the Great Mother, because each archetype also has a shadow side to it, which are kind of distorted parts of that archetype that are not fully healed and fully realized and actualized into the full embodiment of that archetype.

And so I think the shadow sides that a lot of us have learned around motherhood in general are often where we over give, we overdo, we are hyper vigilant.

And therefore want to control things to make it feel safer, even though it is not necessarily safer to control everything.

And it's definitely more stressful to try to control everything.

And so a lot of us women have been indoctrinated through patriarchal systems to hold these more shadow sides of the mother instead of the pure love and embrace of the mother.

And we're also not taught to again, lean back and lean on our ancestral roots and lean into our Great Mother's embrace of the earth, of the cosmos, and know that we are held and we are protected and that there are beings and kind of what I think is like a great cosmic plan that we are co creating with at all times.

And so I think it's really hard for a lot of women, myself included, to fully lean in to receiving.

And so why is receiving important when it comes to pleasure?

So if you go back to the nervous system, if we are always in fight, flight or freeze.

And I do think that a lot of these shadow traits and sides to the archetype to the Great Mother that people are indoctrinated into or have really kind of cultivated in themselves comes from a trauma response to patriarchy.

I think it really comes from a place of we have a really hard time being able to heal these wounds that we have from our ancestors, from our own upbringing around what it means to have a mother or to be a mother.

A lot of our mothers have their own trauma that is passed down.

And being in a society where women are constantly suppressed and that also very much affects mothers and children.

And so there's a whole web of experiences that people have had that create trauma around this and create these traits of overdoing over giving, being a martyr, not ever filling our own cups and living very much for somebody else instead of for ourselves.

And so if we're constantly in that space, it is really, really hard to access pleasure.

Pleasure lives in the release.

Pleasure lives in the surrender.

Pleasure lives in the softness and the stillness and the safety that we can cultivate in ourselves.

And so I think the Great Mother is a great way to really look at what does it mean to be in a space where we are more often than not controlling things, being in the overdoing over giving versus being in a place where I can surrender.

And so if you are someone that in the bedroom has a hard time surrendering into your body, surrendering to your partner, if it doesn't feel safe, I would start there and really ask yourself, what would it take for me to feel safe?

What would it take for me to surrender in this moment with a partner, it's a little bit more tricky because oftentimes there are a lot of dynamics in relationships that make a partnership or make a partner unsafe.

And I never want you to, like, force yourself to feel safe with a person that is not a safe person to be with, or the dynamic is not a safe dynamic for the two of you.

So I first like to start in yourself of, like, how can I cultivate safety within myself?

How can I help myself feel safe enough to surrender?

And again, there's kind of this paradox where when we try to control things, it's because we want to create a safe environment for ourselves.

We're trying to cushion ourselves from being hurt or harmed by someone else or being abandoned.

And so we, like, think that we're cultivating safety, but it's not actually safe.

It's not actually we're keeping other people out, which can be safe, if that is what we need in the moment.

But when it comes to real connection and accessing pleasure, it doesn't actually help us surrender into that.

So real safety is being able to calm your nervous system and help yourself feel like being in my body in this moment, in the present moment, is safe.

It is safe for me to do that.

And so asking yourself, what would it take for me to be able to do that?

A lot of the work that I do with my clients is helping them feel like they can come back to their bodies and feel safe in their bodies again.

Because that's what we need in order to, again surrender and feel, feel the pleasure that is in our bodies.

We have to be able to actually feel the sensations that we have in our bodies so that we know what pleasure even feels like.

And we allow ourselves the space and the time and the room to even feel that pleasure.

And then when it comes to your partner, thankfully, a lot of the partners that I work with are very safe people.

They just need a little guidance on, like, how to hold that space of safety for you.

And so it's important to be able to talk with your partner about what does it mean for you to feel safe with them, and what are things that maybe they are doing that make it harder for you to feel safe with them and what could they do differently to make you feel safer with them.

A lot of times it comes back to boundaries and consent and being able to really communicate clearly and upfront about what we want and what we need.

And that's also something that I work a lot with clients on, is helping them to know how Do I navigate that?

How do I communicate effectively about what I want and need and what is going to help me feel safe in this space?

So when we can have both of those things, safety in our own bodies and safety with our partners, that typically is going to be the best way to feel like I can fully surrender and fully be able to experience the pleasure that I want to experience.

And so again, I think it's just an interesting way of looking at when you are going into a sexual experience or when you are in your relationship with your partner.

Are you in this place of overdoing, over giving, being hypervigilant to the point where I'm trying to control everything, that there's a lot of anxiety there?

And if that's the case, how is that rippling out into all the aspects of my relationship, but especially those around pleasure and intimacy and sexual and then again, how do I resource safety within myself and how do I resource safety within my partnership so that we can both experience the pleasure that we want?

I hope that is helpful for you.

I hope that that weaving of the sacred and the more practical around sex and intimacy made sense.

And I have some things in the works.

Nothing is quite there yet, but there are things in the works.

I have a new podcast partner that I am going to be trying out a new segment of my podcast and their podcast.

I think we're going to release it both on or on both of our podcasts and see how that goes.

So stay tuned for that.

I think it's going to be a really special partnership and I'm really excited for for everyone to hear what we have to create together.

And then I also have a potential workshop in the works that I am creating and will be a way for people to be in my orbit and experience the medicine that I have for a low cost and low time commitment.

So also stay tuned for that.

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And I just appreciate you all being here and being on this journey with me.

So until next week, take care my loves and I will be in your feed next Friday.

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Until next time, May you walk with softness, with love, and with pleasure.

Sam.