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Four Principles of Finding Charisma for Creators (plus Acting Exercise)
Episode 5 • 1st October 2025 • Human Internet Theory • Jen deHaan
00:00:00 00:28:40

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In this episode, I offer a different approach to "adding more charisma" (that's certainly a loaded phrase...) for your videos and podcasts. Here I'm thinking of personality kinda like a multi-channel audio mixer. The goal is not to turn up the volume on everything (all the channels) at once, or throw it away to create a new, fake persona. The goal is to find the right mix of your genuine traits, and turn up the volume on some of them.

I introduce four key principles that form the foundation of authentic charisma. These are authenticity, humble confidence, realistic problem solving, and curiosity. I explain what each of these principles means and how you can apply them to your on-camera or on-microphone presence.

To help you put this into practice, I also walk you through a simple acting exercise. This exercise is designed to help you find and feel your unique energy in your own body, away from the pressure of the camera while you figure out what channels to use. Oof that analogy.

Resources Mentioned:

==========================

About and Support

==========================

Written, edited, and hosted by Jen deHaan.

Find this show on YouTube at https://youtube.com/@humaninternettheory

Subscribe to this show's newsletter for additional resources and a free 3 page workbook when you join https://humaninternettheory.com

Produced by Jen deHaan of StereoForest https://stereoforest.com

Contact Jen at https://jendehaan.com

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Your support will help this show continue. Funds will go towards hosting and music licensing for this show and others on StereoForest. This show is produced by an independent HUMAN artist directly affected by the state of the industry. StereoForest does not have any funding or additional support.

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==========================

About Jen

Jen's professional background is in web software technology (audio/video/web and graphics), working for many years in Silicon Valley. She has worked in instructional design, writing, marketing, and education in the creative space. She was also a quality engineer for awhile.

Jen became involved in performing, acting, and improv in 2015. She taught dance fitness classes (despite beginning with two left feet), performed in community theatre, and taught and coached improv comedy and acting at several theatres. Jen was also the Online School Director and Director of Marketing at WGIS.

Jen's website: https://jendehaan.com

This podcast is a StereoForest production. Made and produced in British Columbia, Canada.

Transcripts

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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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So you're on camera charisma, just like your personality

::

is like using a multi-channel mixer,

::

like I have right here in my hand.

::

Now, you don't want to try to be more charismatic on camera

::

and turn up the overall volume on all of the channels at once.

::

You also don't want to throw it all away and be fake

::

or create a brand new personality from scratch

::

to make this charisma happen.

::

Now, in this episode, you're going

::

to find the right mix and volume for all of those parts,

::

those channels on your mixing board,

::

and enhance your real, legit personality that

::

can then help you bring more charisma to your videos

::

and your podcasts.

::

If you're creating content for your business

::

or to educate people, you might get really frustrated

::

when you're watching your footage back on the screen.

::

So you might be sitting there stewing away

::

because you think the video is just too bland,

::

or you sound really robotic on the microphone,

::

and you might hear advice or your loving friend might say,

::

just be more charismatic then, or maybe go act and imitate

::

some other successful presenter or creator that you like.

::

But when this happens and you hear those kind of things,

::

overall, our confidence can take a hit.

::

And then when that happens, we might end up

::

being even less like ourselves altogether,

::

and it gets worse.

::

So one thing I like to try is to just be more of yourself

::

to find the right charisma for you specifically.

::

But how the hell do I do that?

::

You want to find the existing parts of your personality

::

that naturally hold some kind of attention.

::

And most of this comes from simply being comfortable

::

and having confidence in the value that you provide, which

::

you inherently already have.

::

So I'm going to give you specific steps

::

to find your own type of charisma.

::

Figure out what channels to use on that mixing board, which

::

will be different for every one of you out there.

::

We're going to look at four key principles,

::

and those principles are authenticity, humble

confidence,

::

realistic problem solving, what, and curiosity,

::

which you might have felt when you heard

::

realistic problem solving.

::

Like, what the heck is that?

::

Then we're going to explore how to translate each

::

of these things, each of these principles,

::

into your on-camera or on-microphone presence or

charisma.

::

Hi, I'm Jen deHaan, and this is Human Internet Theory.

::

I'm talking about how to be more human online so we can take

::

part in keeping part of the internet human

::

in the face of a whole bunch of generated content and bots

::

and automation happening on the dead or dying

::

or zombified part of the internet.

::

I've been in education and tech for a very long time,

::

and more recently in performing and comedy,

::

and I'm merging these things that I really

::

like into this show.

::

And I'll also walk you through a simple acting exercise

::

that I've done many times that you can do today, away

::

from the camera, to find and practice

::

your own unique on-camera presence and energy.

::

And just a quick note, I might say on-camera in some spots

::

of this episode for brevity, but most of this

::

can also be applied to those of you making audio-focused

::

content like podcasts.

::

What we do with our body physically

::

is absolutely communicated through our voices

::

onto the microphone, even if there's no video attached to

it.

::

Before we get to that exercise that's

::

going to help you feel that correct charisma fit

::

in your own body for you, we need

::

to define those four core principles that

::

make up this really authentic charisma.

::

And understanding these things is really

::

the foundation for everything else.

::

So I'm going to go through those four principles,

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and then I'm going to say how they apply to on-camera,

::

on-microphone presence, and then we'll do that exercise.

::

So finding out our own type of charisma

::

starts with these ideas.

::

And the first idea is authenticity, of course.

::

This means showing up as yourself.

::

You don't need to wear clothes that you wouldn't normally

wear.

::

You're not going to put on your costume.

::

You shouldn't change your hair.

::

Don't change your face if you don't wear makeup.

::

Like, I don't wear makeup.

::

Don't start wearing makeup.

::

I mean, if you want to wear makeup,

::

if that makes me more comfortable.

::

But you don't have to be yourself.

::

Keep your own voice.

::

Keep your own opinions.

::

Don't change any of those things to appease other people.

::

What I'm wearing here is-- and how I look--

::

is literally what I wear on my farm every single day.

::

This is how I actually look.

::

Although I will say that this sweatshirt that I'm wearing

::

is a special recording sweatshirt.

::

And that's only because I need to keep it in this office

::

and just wear it for recording so it doesn't get

::

filthy, dirty all the time.

::

If I just wore my farm clothes, it

::

would be covered in grossness and food bits

::

and all sorts of stuff.

::

So that's the only difference.

::

But this is how I dress every day.

::

What I wear here is not going to be right for many of you.

::

And that's good.

::

You don't have to go mimic other people and what they wear.

::

Wear what feels natural for you.

::

What makes you feel confident, too.

::

So some of you might not like those looks.

::

Some of you may already clicked away

::

because you're like, car heart, no way.

::

Bye.

::

But that's OK.

::

I believe that more people will probably stick around when

::

you seem authentic to yourself, even if it's not for them.

::

Because being true to yourself is, I believe,

::

somewhat contagious instead of trying to make yourself fit

::

to perform for a wider net in a way that is not authentically

::

you.

::

So don't create that facade.

::

I believe other people can read it.

::

Be yourself.

::

Speak to the people who would listen to you anyway.

::

Authenticity is an important part of well-being for

ourselves,

::

too, because it's linked with self-esteem and purpose.

::

And those are a great thing to bring to your content.

::

Being OK with your own flaws is really

::

an important part of all of this process.

::

I'm also going to link to an article on this topic,

::

Authenticity from Psychology Today in the description,

::

for just a general overview of what this means and the

effects

::

that it can have on you as a human.

::

I'll put links to that in the description.

::

And that resource also links to other resources.

::

So check those out.

::

Now, the second thing is being humble but confident.

::

Now, this thing can take a bit of work, right?

::

Being yourself means having enough confidence

::

to just be that person without--

::

and this is the important part and the hard part--

::

external validation from other people or from other

sources,

::

like, say, your metrics on the pieces of content

::

that you're making, the number of downloads on your

podcast.

::

Now, in this, you're getting validation from yourself,

::

knowing that you hold value with who you are and what you're

doing.

::

And that thing is enough.

::

It's hard, isn't it?

::

Now, the third thing is that you are working to solve

problems

::

or issues while being realistic about them,

::

dealing with reality.

::

So this point, this principle, is all

::

about your actual mindset that you're holding in the things

::

that you create.

::

So you're not being defeatist about those things.

::

For example, for this show, Human Internet Theory,

::

I could sort of have the mindset of, look at all this AI coming

::

on to the internet.

::

The internet is definitely dying,

::

and we should just give up on it and go do something else.

::

I could also go on the opposite side of that and say, hey,

::

we're totally going to win against this generated stuff

::

with these seven easy steps.

::

Just do them, and we're going to win for sure.

::

Now, instead of that, we're looking for a realistic

mindset,

::

one that you gravitate to naturally.

::

So for me, it's like, look, things are really changing.

::

We don't know the future, but here's

::

some things that we can try.

::

So this is an energy.

::

It should be an energy that is true to you, whatever that is.

::

So I believe in basing your content on reality,

::

and that thing being more contagious than the extremes

::

of blind hope or pessimism or something like that.

::

So pick your mindset and base it on your own reality

::

and lead with that.

::

So I'm also going to add a note at this section here

::

about the wording and being realistic,

::

because that's important too.

::

Now, I've heard some people advise

::

to use really concrete statements,

::

regardless of the nuance.

::

Don't explain the nuance.

::

Like, this is the best answer for more charisma.

::

Or always post your videos on Wednesday afternoon.

::

So those would be sort of examples of just concrete things

::

that don't take into account different people's

situations.

::

Just do this.

::

So unless I'm speaking about something that really is a fact

::

and universal, universally true, like water is wet or

something,

::

or my cat is ridiculously--

::

that's an absolute--

::

however, if your audience really deals in concrete things,

::

like they don't have much time, they

::

don't want to know about the nuance, just tell me

::

exactly what to do.

::

Like an executive at the top level of some corporation,

::

do what's best for you.

::

Do what's best for your audience and what you believe in.

::

So the last one for today, at least, curiosity.

::

I'm an improviser.

::

I think curiosity is so important for so many spaces

::

of our lives, because it's around listening, right?

::

So curiosity, important element of an improv scene.

::

And when you're acting, we are curious about our scene

::

partner.

::

That is such an important thing.

::

We're listening to them.

::

Listening is the core of improv.

::

We're listening to what they think, what they feel,

::

and what they do.

::

And we're curious about what they are showing us,

::

so we can respond to that.

::

Now, I believe the audience and our topic together

::

in the content that we're making, educational stuff

::

or business stuff, are like our scene partner, right?

::

What is your reality?

::

What are your needs?

::

What are the--

::

what is the reality of the topics that we're covering

::

that I can communicate to you?

::

So those are very important parts of the things

::

that we're making for the internet.

::

All of those things involve active listening, right?

::

We're listening to the research.

::

We're listening to our own thoughts and opinions

::

and discoveries on these topics and sharing them.

::

And all of this requires making the audience feel valued,

::

like I'm going to listen to you as well

::

and what your wants and needs and responses are.

::

This curiosity can help you form your ideas

::

and how you present on camera.

::

And that energy of that curiosity

::

translates to the camera or the microphone.

::

That can help your charisma.

::

And if you're curious as well about this kind of thing

::

that I'm covering and you believe

::

in a human-centered part of the internet,

::

being an important thing we retain for the future

::

and not lose, join my newsletter at

humaninternettheory.com.

::

So those are the principles around finding

::

your own personal charisma.

::

But the next question is, how do you

::

communicate those principles and values through a camera

lens

::

or into the microphone to strangers, mostly strangers,

::

and sort of figure out how much volume to place

::

on each element of your personality for your audience?

::

Now, before we do the acting exercise that helps you

actually

::

practice this, I'll break down what each of these

principles

::

looks like on screen for you or in the microphone.

::

Because we're going to need that first before you

::

start practicing the acting exercise.

::

So let's start with that first one.

::

Authenticity, which also involves trust.

::

How do we get that seen or heard?

::

Now, the focus here is mostly on the message

::

and the content itself.

::

You are presenting information in a way

::

that makes it understood most accurately by your audience.

::

So the value here is in the message,

::

not necessarily if you're delivering it perfectly.

::

You don't need that polish in here.

::

So some of this communication will come from body language,

::

but a lot of it will be how you speak.

::

You don't want to sound like a robot reading a script,

::

even if you're using a script.

::

And it's fine to use a script if you need to.

::

Some of us do need to have that element of scripting

::

in the stuff that we do.

::

For example, if you are, say, a verbal processor,

::

I'm a verbal processor, or if you have certain

neurodivergence

::

traits, or if your brain's wired that way,

::

or you have processing challenges with the

neurodivergence

::

or separate from it, we might need a script or very detailed

::

notes, for example, to avoid going off on too many tangents.

::

Sometimes confusing ones, too, as you process that

information

::

in real time on the camera or on the microphone.

::

That can end up being confusing for everyone.

::

So scripts and notes can help you,

::

depending on your wiring.

::

See, I feel like I'm getting confusing right now.

::

And I might need to edit this.

::

Who knows?

::

But they can help you.

::

So do what works the best for you.

::

Try the different things.

::

Do what works.

::

So there are many cognitive needs out there.

::

And there are ways from scripts to notes and so on

::

to adjust how you work with your needs.

::

So if you need a script, practice reading it naturally,

::

for example, practice going off on those tangents

::

and coming back quickly and going back to your script.

::

All of this takes practice.

::

It takes reps.

::

It takes recording yourself and watching it back

::

and seeing what it looks like and hearing how it sounds

::

and how it translates.

::

Get feedback if you can.

::

Practice going off script and coming back to your script.

::

And do that whenever your gut tells you

::

to go off script, by the way.

::

Tell a story when you need to.

::

When it makes sense, that really adds to your content

::

and the educational element of it.

::

And remember, you can still edit things.

::

You can address any issues that come up with those tangents

::

or something that comes across in a confusing manner

::

or you repeated yourself or whatever.

::

Take care of that in editing.

::

Take your time and get comfortable with reading naturally,

::

changing the tone and volume and cadence of your voice

::

and going off script.

::

Practice in shorts, for example,

::

'cause 35 seconds is a lot easier to deal with

::

than 20 minutes.

::

Anyways, eventually you might be able to use scripts less.

::

That might help your content

::

and the authenticity element of it or not.

::

But do try to leave in some of those imperfections.

::

That step is really genuine.

::

It's unique.

::

It makes you, you and your audience might just think

::

it was on purpose anyways.

::

They might not even see it as a mistake at all.

::

So next, how do you show that humble

::

and confident principle on camera or in a microphone?

::

This is so much about your body and your presence.

::

Consider your posture.

::

Consider what your hands are doing,

::

how you're talking with them.

::

If you're listening to this,

::

you don't see how I'm talking with my hands pretty much

::

through the length of every single video.

::

The entire length of them is just what I do,

::

but that's me.

::

I do this with everybody.

::

I do this all the time.

::

So think about people you have trusted

::

on this same topic in your niche.

::

It doesn't have to be online.

::

It can be people that you know in person,

::

people that your teachers that educated you in person.

::

What made you listen when they spoke

::

beyond just the words that they said?

::

Was it the tone, the cadence,

::

the way they held their bodies?

::

Now, these things might not work for you,

::

but if you're looking for things to try

::

that might work for you and feel natural,

::

use that as inspiration.

::

Don't imitate, don't mimic.

::

Use it as inspiration and tools that you try

::

and see what works for you.

::

Now, for example, I usually prefer standing.

::

I like moving around a bit.

::

I think it's probably because I used to be a dance fitness

::

teacher for many, many years.

::

I spoke, I thought on my feet.

::

It's kind of what I need to do.

::

It's why I move my hands and gesture so much.

::

I need that.

::

It makes me feel confident.

::

It makes me, it's just how I naturally present information.

::

I like, for example, also sort of thinking about pushing

::

my shoulders down from time to time.

::

That helps me for whatever reason.

::

By the way, there's science studies about power moves

::

that I think it's being all discredited

::

and it's not a thing.

::

But do what works for you, try things out.

::

If it makes you feel more confident,

::

that's gonna help your charisma

::

and your presentation on line.

::

Whatever makes you comfortable,

::

lead with that translates to confidence.

::

Now, we're offering something of value

::

in our videos and podcasts.

::

Now, it's most important to be confident

::

in what that value is, the thing that you're offering.

::

Think about how your body can best communicate that idea.

::

So next is realistic problem solving.

::

What?

::

This lives a lot in your tone and your body language.

::

So, realistic problem solving is going to be displayed

::

through your advice and through your storytelling.

::

For example, being calm and positive

::

and giving your perspective honestly

::

is going to help communicate this.

::

So for the problem solving one,

::

focus on your tone, your cadence and what you're saying.

::

And finally, showing up curious.

::

How do you speak to the camera or into the mic

::

that can look and feel like you're speaking to a friend?

::

That's what we wanna think about here.

::

Or it can be like you're teaching a very small class,

::

a small intimate class or room.

::

So a lot of this is holding a certain amount

::

of eye contact with the lens.

::

It doesn't have to be for the whole video by the way.

::

And it doesn't have to be like getting up close

::

so people can see your cornea or your rods

::

and cones or whatever.

::

So not too intense, but do aim for at least some eye contact

::

with the lens if you're making videos

::

because it's like I'm speaking to you.

::

I'm thinking about you right behind that camera right

there.

::

And in the microphone, you might want to think

::

about how close you are to the microphone

::

'cause that makes a lot of difference.

::

That makes it way more personal

::

if you're right up and close to the mic.

::

Now, if you are doing podcasts,

::

you might wanna get a great big foam thing

::

for your mic if you're right up close.

::

So think about the sound as well

::

'cause that will make a difference.

::

So this is gonna look different for everyone.

::

You might lead with a more thoughtful presence

::

to communicate that curiosity.

::

Perhaps you're going to go for infectious and passionate

::

about your subject to like you're so curious

::

about your subject.

::

I can't wait to explain this to you.

::

So your nerdiness for learning

::

might be a very clear strength for your message

::

in this bucket.

::

But it's a spectrum of course.

::

It's however you want to present your information

::

and it's all valid, right?

::

For who you are, what you're trying to communicate.

::

It's about again being confident in who you are today

::

and bringing that confidence out to support your message

::

so you can communicate it clearly with the right energy.

::

That's your charisma.

::

So now you have the theory

::

and now you have some level of translation

::

of how that's gonna look on screen or in the microphone.

::

So let's put that into practice

::

with a really simple acting exercise

::

that you can do today to find and feel this presence

::

in your own self.

::

Now, this is the kind of thing that we would do in a class

::

and it involves walking around.

::

So you'll need a little bit of space

::

to work with when you're doing it.

::

So it goes like this, but I need to mention

::

if you want some help figuring out sort of the elements

::

of your persona, go ahead and grab

::

the Persona worksheet at my website,

::

humaninternettheory.com.

::

It's free.

::

It has some prompts to help you identify your core traits.

::

These are the ones that you want to project

::

into your videos or into your podcasts of any type.

::

So this will work if you're audio only,

::

even though we're standing up and walking around

::

for this exercise.

::

So start by pulling either three ideas

::

or just three words from that worksheet that define you

::

as it pertains to your personal brand, your personality,

::

how you want to communicate to your audience.

::

And if you don't want to use the worksheet,

::

compile three words for yourself

::

that describe how you want to present yourself.

::

For example, it could be bookish and rye and passionate.

::

And you don't need to know how to express those things yet.

::

That's essentially what we're practicing.

::

So the next step here is to walk around your space,

::

walk around your house or the room

::

for at least several minutes,

::

keeping those three words or phrases top of mind.

::

And while you're thinking about them,

::

just see how those words or ideas

::

affect how you're moving around.

::

Try to embody them.

::

Then, at that point, start saying them aloud,

::

to just get them out.

::

See how that affects your speech as well, your voice.

::

Does that change now how you're moving more?

::

Once you've sort of embodied your persona

::

for this session using those phrases and words,

::

start sharing a story about just anything that happened

::

earlier in the day or something that you learned recently

::

that's interesting.

::

It doesn't matter what it is.

::

You just want to share something.

::

And then, after you've done so,

::

and the session and reflect on what you've learned,

::

how did those words, how did that persona affect

::

what you just said out loud, what you shared, the story?

::

So give this overall development some time.

::

Because if you've just done it,

::

you will probably notice that it might have felt

::

a little bit strange at first to be doing this.

::

You might go, "I didn't get anything out of that exercise."

::

And this is because you often need some time

::

before you can really let go and notice a change.

::

So if it's the first time you've ever done something like

that,

::

you're probably firmly in your head.

::

Like, how do I make those words like bookish

::

into something that I project outwards?

::

It's a challenge.

::

It takes time.

::

And when you kind of get comfortable enough

::

to just let go,

::

you'll notice these things happening a lot more naturally.

::

Now, another thing to try on a subsequent journey

::

with this exercise, the next time you do it on another day,

::

try an attribute that you would not use to define you

::

and just see how that feels.

::

Turn up the volume on one of your channels

::

on this mixing board that I still have

::

on my desk right in front of me.

::

Try something, one of those channels

::

that you think will not work.

::

For example, if you're trying to be calm and thoughtful,

::

instead go with really exciting and passionate, right?

::

Try something unexpected for you,

::

something that feels wrong.

::

That thing might just inspire new ideas.

::

You might not go with it, but it might give you,

::

"Ah, what if I try this thing instead?"

::

Somewhere in between.

::

Or it might just make you confident

::

in your original assessment of yourself

::

and you'll throw that away entirely.

::

For now, maybe it'll make sense later.

::

So if whatever you try does feel that wrong,

::

it feels like failing,

::

this is one of the strongest teaching tools

::

that we can use for ourselves.

::

Failing is so good.

::

It's one of the best ways to learn.

::

And especially if you become surprised at that thing.

::

So keep that tool in there for later on.

::

Try something that you think won't work and see what

happens.

::

So I hope that this acting exercise based on movement

::

and those persona ideas is a useful way

::

to start trying out these four principles of charisma.

::

And speaking of movement,

::

if you're into this movement to create

::

and support human-made content online,

::

join me at humaninternettheory.com.

::

And I'm legit curious.

::

Let us know what three words or phrases you chose

::

for the exercise and share them in the comments below.

::

And I'd also like to note,

::

I never used the word Riz once previously in this episode.

::

I did now and I probably really aged myself.

::

All right, I'll be back next week for the next episode.

::

Bye for now.

::

(upbeat music)

::

Episodes are written, directed, edited,

::

and produced by Jen of StereoForest.com

::

Find out more about this podcast

::

and join our free newsletter for additional resources

::

at humaninternettheory.com.

::

Find additional videos at the YouTube channel

::

called Human Internet Theory.

::

Links are also in the show notes.

::

(upbeat music)

::

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