Unlock the hidden code behind human behavior—before it costs you opportunities, relationships, and influence.Most people think they’re good at reading others. They’re not. They project, assume, and misinterpret—then wonder why conversations stall, deals fall apart, and signals get missed. Behavioral Tells cuts through the noise and shows you what people are actually communicating beneath the surface.

From bestselling author Patrick King, this is your field guide to decoding people in real time—without guesswork, overthinking, or relying on clichés like “just trust your gut.”

You’ll learn how perception quietly distorts everything you see—and how to fix it fast.

How perceptual biases like the halo effect and projection silently sabotage your judgment

The three perceptual positions that instantly sharpen your perspective in any interaction

Why your expectations shape what you notice—and how to break that loop

Practical ways to improve perceptual accuracy so you stop misreading people

But reading people isn’t just about what you see. It’s about what you notice, how you interpret it, and how you respond in the moment.

This book takes you deeper—into emotions, group dynamics, language patterns, and subtle behavioral signals most people completely miss.

The ABC model for understanding why people behave the way they do

Emotional granularity so you can distinguish nuance, not just “happy vs. angry”

The SUE framework for asking questions that reveal truth without resistance

How tone, word choice, and “meta-programs” expose hidden motivations

Along the way, you’ll learn why body language alone can mislead you, how attention flows in groups, and what everyday behaviors—like walking style, clothing, and even food choices—quietly reveal. Bottom line: This is not theory. It’s a toolkit.

Navigate conversations with precision

Spot inconsistencies before they become problems

Understand people faster than they understand themselves

You just had what felt like a great conversation, warm, engaged, totally mutual.

But were they actually into it or just being polite?

Here's the uncomfortable truth you probably couldn't tell.

Most of us are reading people based on vibes alone and vibes are easy to fake.

Hello listeners, welcome to Social Skills Coaching where you become more likeable, more charismatic, and more productive.

Today we're covering Patrick King's book Behavioral Tells in which he argues that the real signal isn't what someone does, it's what they do differently.

That gap between normal and not normal is where the truth lives.

Let's get into how to spot a fake with baseline behavior analysis.

We're breaking down how to build a behavioral baseline for anyone you meet and then how to use deviations from that baseline to catch deception before it catches you.

This is people reading made systematic, not psychic.

Baselining

Picture this.

You meet someone new for the first time, and these are some things you notice:

They are grinning ear to ear.

They immediately start gushing about how much they love your shoes.

When you start talking, they listen with rapt attention.

They laugh (loudly) at all of your jokes.

They tell you afterward that they have never met anyone quite so interesting as you.

When you part ways, they make a big deal about getting your contact details and invite you to their house, but not before giving you an enormous hug to say goodbye.

Now, what do you think about such a person?

You probably assume that they really, really like you!

They seem ultra-friendly and positive and like they really enjoyed your company, or even that they’re coming onto you.

That is, until you meet this person again, this time in a group.

You see that they treat everyone this way.

Oops.

You suddenly realize that they don’t think you’re especially great-that’s just what they’re like with everyone!

But your interpretation wasn’t exactly wrong.

That behavior usually does indicate someone who is interested, positive, friendly, etc.

But these in-a-vacuum observations don’t tell you how common this behavior is compared to that person’s own tendencies.

Perhaps, after watching them interact with other people for a while, you realize that they are a little less warm and friendly to you than they normally are in general.

Your original reading was not just inaccurate, it was flat-out wrong.

It’s important to consider any single behavior not just as it compares to other people or to the environment itself, but to the person behaving that way.

In other words, is this behavior common or uncommon for them?

We can’t make any conclusions about the information we gather if we don’t have something to compare it to.

What seems normal to you might not be normal to them, and so on.

A baseline = A set of nonverbal behaviors (like posture, movement, and gestures) that a person usually uses when they are comfortable and relaxed.

It’s like a person’s default setting.

When you read body language, you are looking at expression in both absolute and relative terms.

You decide whether something is noteworthy according to how far from the baseline it is.

If you observe the person above being polite and kind to someone, but with much less enthusiasm than they normally do, you can probably conclude that they don’t like that person-even if their behavior is objectively friendlier than the average.

Body language experts agree that you should pay attention to the subtleties and changes in a person’s body language to know when it’s been activated or triggered during a normal conversation.

Notice all the ways in which they are behaving differently from what’s normal for them.

The clue lies in the deviation from baseline.

The first step, then, is to establish a baseline wherever possible.

Here are things to look for:

Blink rate

Eye contact-frequency and duration

Breathing-both rate and depth

Body movement speed and fluidity

Facial expressions

Gestures

Cadence, pitch, volume, articulation, and rhythm of voice

Overall posture-open or closed, tense or relaxed

Note, of course, that all of the above need to be considered in context.

So, someone’s baseline when they are at work doing their teaching job may be completely different from their baseline on the weekend when they’re with friends and doing a hobby.

It’s difficult to establish a baseline for someone the first time you meet-you will typically need to spend more time with them in different contexts to begin noticing stable patterns.

That said, you can still use the principle of baselining even if you only engage with a person for a short time.

For example, over the course of a twenty-minute conversation, you might establish a baseline for that conversation, and this allows you to detect when something suddenly changes.

How does the end of the conversation compare to the beginning?

How does their demeanor change when talking about different topics?

How do they react to different members of the group?

Being aware of how people change over the course of a single interaction is also what will allow you to gracefully end the conversation at the right time.

Using Baselines to Detect Deception

The baseline approach is especially useful for one type of people-reading: catching liars.

Many people believe all sorts of myths about how you can catch a liar red-handed (they look up and to the left, they bite their lip, etc.

), but these will seldom help you.

A better way to find out if someone is lying is to identify “leakage.”

Leakage is unintentional and inconsistent communication across multiple channels like:

facial expressions,

gestures and body language,

voice,

communication style, or

verbal statements.

A leak can be anything-but it is always something different from the baseline, something that was intended to be concealed but wasn’t.

Spot it, and you can infer a bigger concealment that may be underway.

Let’s take a look at how this may play out in real life.

Gather information

Everyone has a “norm”: A basic, preferred setting for how they act when they are under normal amounts of stress.

This can be anything from how quickly they speak, to the words they usually use.

What’s more, a person often has a “tic,” or a sign that they are uncomfortable, and too far from their “norm.”

Have you noticed these tics or tells in your own family and friends?

A quick smirk or frown when you say something they don’t agree with.

A tendency to suddenly muddle words when stressed.

A certain kind of exaggerated smile that only appears when they’re trying to control a situation.

But even if you see a tic, tell, or some other clue, keep looking.

A tic doesn’t automatically mean a lie.

But it does tell you something-and what you continue to observe will help clarify what that something is.

Try to answer these questions:

What is normal for this person?

How does this change when they are experiencing stress?

When and where do you see the most dramatic differences?

You may gather this information all at once in a single conversation, or you may need to get to know a person well first.

Establish rapport

Now, if you were an FBI agent trying to uncover deception, you might need to quickly establish rapport to build on.

Since you’re probably not an FBI agent, just apply this step in whatever way suits your situation.

It goes without saying that if you have just met someone or don’t know them well, your chances of finding out the truth will be greater if you can establish some kind of shared understanding and connection with them first.

This does two things:

It puts you at ease  This allows you to be more focused and observant.

It puts them at ease  This allows you to more easily observe their baseline.

Even if you already have an established relationship with the person, the way that you talk to them will make a big difference in how they communicate with you.

Of course, at no point should you give any hint that you are trying to uncover deception.

Be relaxed.

Make eye contact, but not too much.

Be warm and steady.

Once the tone is set, gradually invite them to tell their stories.

As they speak, listen with relaxed and respectful empathy.

If you are unguarded, they will be, too.

Ask open-ended questions rather than immediately grilling them about what you want to know.

Don’t come across as too forceful or determined.

One good way to subtly promote rapport is to mirror them in small ways-adopt the same posture, tone of voice, expression, or even verbal idiosyncrasies to show that you’re on the same wavelength.

Run through the baseline checklist

The following five-part checklist is about making as thorough an observation as possible, in as short a time as you can.

While you’re making your observations, though, remind yourself that what you don’t observe can be just as important as what you do!

The general rule is to start your way at the top of the person and work your way down.

1.

First, observe their face:

What is the position of their head and how are they holding it?

Are they touching their face?

How and where?

How often?

Watch the eyes-where are they looking?

How fast are they blinking?

Do you notice any tension or looseness in the mouth?

2.

Next, listen to their voice:

What is the tone or character of their voice?

Smooth, jerky, wavering, clear, monotone?

Is the pitch low, medium, or high?

Listen for both kinds of volume-loud or soft, but also how much talking they’re doing.

How fast or slow are they talking?

Is their pace consistent or all over the place?

3.

Listen to the words they’re saying:

Do they use verbal fillers (um, ah, like)?

How often?

Are they being formal or causal?

Swearing?

Do they use full sentences?

Are the sentences unusually long or short?

How is their grammar?

For example, do they frame things in passive voice or state everything as a question?

Do they use a lot of “I” and “me”?

4.

Notice how they’re holding their body:

How much space are they taking up?

Are they spreading out or collapsing?

Rigid or yielding?

Is their posture generally open or more closed?

Tight or loose?

Do they seem to be advancing or retreating?

Notice their gestures-are they wide and expansive, or small, nervous, and useless?

5.

Finally, take note of the fidget factor:

Are there lots of unnecessary and pointless gestures?

What kind?

What do they do in a relaxed position?

Is their overall impression one of movement or stillness?

Relaxation or agitation?

Okay, great.

Now that you’ve gathered all this data, what do you do with it?

Your main goal as a deception detector is to look for stress signals that alert you to an inner state of effort, anxiety, or dissonance.

What does this mean?

Well, think about what it’s like to lie.

If your brain is a computer, then lying represents an additional computational burden that asks your brain to work far harder than it would have to if it was just recounting the truth.

In the same way that a CPU that is hard at work will sometimes make loud noises or start to get hot, you can learn to look for the human “stress signals” that tell you that some additional work is underway-potentially a lie.

Right away, you can see the first problem with using this approach-i.e., someone may be burdened with extra thinking not because they’re lying but because they’re unhappy for another reason, or simply nervous (perhaps because they sense you’re interrogating them!).

Again, the only way out of this dilemma is to continually observe the whole and consider what you’re observing, even making allowances for the fact that someone might be nervous for some other reason.

You always want to take into account:

Social norms

The impact of the context and environment

The social role that person is currently playing

What they may be trying to achieve with their behavior in general

The nature of your relationship

Their normal personal baseline

Any other potential sources of stress

The unique way their expression changes in response to stress

Once you’ve gathered information and established a baseline, your next move is to watch very closely for anything that does not fit that baseline.

The logic is that if you are familiar with how a person behaves when relaxed, then you can clearly notice when they are stressed and outside that range.

Instead of jumping in with accusations, threats, and leading questions, try establishing a connection.

You don’t want to do anything to make them clam up.

That’s because if they then start behaving in a stressed way, you won’t know if this is because they’re genuinely lying, or just because it’s stressful to be accused of lying!

Once you have established rapport and observed them in their relaxed and calm state, you’ll be able to recognize changes in their behavior when you pose meaningful questions later.

Though you don’t need to practice this skill in the way that professional interrogators do, the principles are still the same.

Let’s say you are interviewing a candidate for a role in your company, but you have reason to believe they’re not being especially truthful on their resume.

Now, you’re not too concerned about the white lie-it’s rather small-but you are concerned about the overall trustworthiness of the candidate and, bluntly, want to see how good they are at hiding the truth!

Either way, you will learn something interesting about them.

You begin with two simple questions:

What’s normal for this person?

How do they behave when they’re stressed out?

You prepare for the interview by reading up on them as much as you can beforehand, and try to make inferences based on their age, where they grew up, education, social media use, background, etc.

This can only take you so far, though.

You look at the way they’ve compiled their resume:

You see what they are emphasizing (their degree and awards).

You see what is de-emphasized or not mentioned at all (a gap of two years, their exact job title at a previous position, etc.

).

This tells you a lot about how this person wants to present themselves.

What aren’t they showing, and why?

You’re making loose hypotheses, but no big conclusions yet.

In the interview, you simply begin by getting to know them.

You keep things very warm and relaxed and even make out that you’re not a seasoned interviewer and don’t intend to take the process all that seriously.

You do what you can to put them at ease-smiling, eye contact, offering to make them a coffee, leaning in close, and making friendly small talk about relatable things…

But all the while this is happening, you are watching.

You are paying attention to those five areas of observation to establish the baseline.

Now, you already know that an interview is a naturally stressful situation, so all you are doing is looking for what the baseline level of stress is before the “real interview” begins.

You notice:

Lots of eye contact and smiling

Leaning forward in the chair

Voice medium loud, strong, even

Fidgety hands

Lots of “I” statements

Lots of nodding along

Tight but active overall posture; impression of alertness and energy

Great.

Conclusion?

This is what the candidate looks like under the normal conditions of interview stress.

Once you’re sure that rapport has been established and you have a baseline (i.e., run through the five-point checklist in your head), then you can start pressing on what you believe to be the deception.

You first ask about something that you know is true, and observe the response.

“So you went to Harvard.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“This was in... 2019?

Okay, so I also see you took an extra year to complete your degree.”

“Yeah, that’s right.

I was in quite a bad car crash and so I graduated a little later.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.

But it says here that you went straight from that into your position with the first startup, is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s correct.

Spring of 2020, I began work with Real Time.”

While on the surface all this seems pretty run-of-the-mill, you are actually hard at work noticing the way the candidate responds to questions when it’s the truth:

Short, to-the-point answers.

Frequently beginning with “yeah” and an energetic nod.

Good eye contact.

Alert posture.

This is important.

It’s what the truth looks like for this person, in this context.

Let’s move on.

“Well, we’ve been looking for developers like you for ages, so it would be great to have you on board.

But I’m curious, it seems like your last role would have been more your speed, salary-wise at least.

Why the change?”

Now, you play it cool.

You watch.

You notice these things:

The candidate keeps smiling and making eye contact, but all at once, they lean back in the chair and fold their hands firmly in their lap.

Their voice drops in volume and pitch.

Their posture seems to spread and loosen a little.

Here’s the candidate’s response:

“There are a lot of reasons for that, the primary one being issues with their initial stages of funding.

The company was bought out, but there was a lack of overall interest from investors.

Long story short, I’m looking for a little more security regarding pay.”

What to make of this answer?

Let’s say that you happen to know that this is a white lie.

You know the founders of Real Time and know that although financing was tight at first, this particular employee was fired for completely unrelated reasons.

It’s not a big deal, but you make a note of this.

This too is important.

It’s what this person looks like when they’re lying-or at least bending the truth!

Let’s move on again.

You ask them some more questions, keep them at ease, and then you finally ask the question you are most interested in:

“If we offered you this role, do you see yourself remaining on for the foreseeable future?

At this stage, we are really looking ahead at the long term, and we want to start bringing in people who can grow with us.

Does that align with what you’re after?”

Let’s say the candidate does this:

They lean back even further.

They give another formal, long-winded answer, some of it in passive voice and delivered in a kind of low-energy way compared to their previous answers.

They assure you they are very committed to the role.

You ask some further questions, and their demeanor changes again, back to what you have already registered as the “truthful,” relaxed baseline.

So, does this mean they were lying about wanting to stay in the role for the long term?

It’s not conclusive... but the evidence strongly suggests it!

Crucially, if you had simply followed ordinary body language (i.e., fidgeting and nervous, tight posture equals lying), then you would have gotten this completely wrong.

You would have assumed that the calm, relaxed-looking person who was speaking clearly and articulately was telling the truth.

But for this person, whose natural state was more energetic and excitable, this relaxed body language was, ironically, a “stress signal” hinting at deception.

As you can imagine, learning to spot liars is more like a dark art that requires years of practice to master.

At first, try not to think of it as “catching a liar.” Think of it as becoming aware of people’s patterns and shifting energies in any interaction or conversation.

Become good at noticing changes and shifts.

Learn to see the switch from normal to unusual.

Yes, this will help you become better at spotting lies, but it will more generally help you become a brilliant people-reader.

So here's where we land.

People don't reveal themselves through dramatic confessions.

They reveal themselves through small, measurable shifts from their own normal.

Let's take a look at the primary takeaways from today's episode.

Deviation from baseline can reveal deception.

Look for stress signals like changes in eye contact, gestures, or voice tone.

For example, leaning back and folding hands may indicate discomfort or dishonesty.

Set a relaxed tone first.

This helps you observe their natural behaviors better.

Make steady eye contact, be warm, and invite them to share stories calmly.

We'll leave you with this quote from Peter Drucker.

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.