Shownotes
Discover how the B-MAT Method (Behavior, Motivation, Ability, Trigger) helps busy moms reset one daily routine for calmer, smoother back-to-school days.
5 Key Takeaways from This Episode:
1️⃣ You don’t need a full overhaul—just one shift. Pick one routine that’s not working (like mornings, lunch, or bedtime) and reset it with intention.
2️⃣ The B-MAT Method makes habits stick. Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Trigger. This simple framework helps you build routines that are doable and aligned with your why.
3️⃣ Motivation gives your habit roots. When you’re clear on why a routine matters (like wanting peaceful mornings), it’s easier to stay committed—even on chaotic days.
4️⃣ Ability is about making it easier, not relying on willpower. Set the environment up for success: prep the night before, simplify steps, and check in with your child about their preferences (yes, even clothing!).
5️⃣ Triggers are your brain’s best friend. Use alarms, sticky notes, or visual cues to prompt the new habit—just like our ancestors relied on sunrise or seasonal shifts to cue daily behavior.
Episode Timestamps
00:00 – The Morning Pants Showdown: Sharing a funny back-to-school story about Julia’s Ralph Lauren pants and how tiny quirks can throw off our whole rhythm.
00:40 – What Is the B-MAT Method and Why It Matters: Introducing the Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Trigger method as a practical tool for calming the chaos.
01:25 – Welcome to The Anya Garcia Show: Podcast introduction and what this show is all about—supporting moms with mindset, parenting, and purposeful learning.
02:35 – The Power of One Tiny Reset: Encouragement to choose just one routine to refresh—not your whole day. Small shifts can make a big impact.
03:15 – Rhythm Over Routine: Why finding your unique family flow matters more than any Pinterest-worthy schedule.
03:47 – Breaking Down the B-MAT Formula: Quick overview of the B-MAT equation and how it helps anchor lasting habits.
04:15 – Morning Routine Example: Using B-MAT to reset chaotic mornings, from laying out clothes to simple kid check-ins.
05:15 – Midday Slump Reset Example: How to reset lunch hour chaos with a quiet-time basket and a well-timed trigger.
06:10 – Breakfast Rush Reset Example: Prepping breakfast the night before and using a playlist or alarm as a trigger to smooth mornings.
07:30 – Let Your Child Help Plan: Inviting your child into planning creates buy-in and reduces stress for everyone.
07:52 – What Is Compass Circle? An invitation to join the Compass Circle—a space for support, mindset, and clarity with other moms.
08:44 – The Anthropology Behind Habits: Why your brain is wired to crave routine—rooted in ancient survival rhythms and predictable cues.
09:42 – How Predictability Creates Safety: Explaining how building routines reassures the nervous system and shifts us out of survival mode.
10:15 – The Science Behind B-MAT: Research-backed support from BJ Fogg, Edward Deci, Richard Ryan, and Wendy Wood.
11:35 – A Visual Hook You’ll Never Forget: Introducing the “bee on the white mat” story to help you remember the B-MAT method forever.
12:53 – You’re Not Just Organizing—You’re Calming Your Nervous System: Why these micro-changes bring peace, not pressure.
13:45 – Final Thoughts: It’s a Flow Reset, Not a Reinvention: Encouragement to make one small shift today—because that’s where big ripples start.
14:40 – See You Next Time, Mama: Closing words and gentle reminder: You’ve got this—and I’ve got your back.
Resources & Links
🧭 Join Mamas' Compass Circle™ where you will find support, monthly content, and practical tools for moms craving calm, clarity and confidence. No pressure. Just presence.
⚓️ Navigate with MKAPtains Kids Activities Club – Get a done-for-you Monthly Activity Plan that makes learning hands-on and fun—so you can spend less time planning and more time playing!
🎓 Let’s Do This Together - You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. With over a decade of experience helping parents worldwide, I’ve mastered how to simplify homeschooling to amplify your child’s growth—without the stress or overwhelm.
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📚 Research & Sources Mentioned
Fogg, B. J. (2009). A behavior model for persuasive design. In Proceedings of the 4th International Conference on Persuasive Technology (pp. 1–7). ACM.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. New York: Plenum.
Wood, W. (2019). Good habits, bad habits: The science of making positive changes that stick. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Gaskins, S. (2000). Children’s daily lives in a Mayan village: A case study of culturally constructed roles and activities. In S. Harkness, C. Raeff, & C. Super (Eds.), Variability in the social worlds of children (pp. 25–38). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. New York: Penguin Press.
Duckworth, A. L., Gendler, T. S., & Gross, J. J. (2016). Situational strategies for self-control. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(1), 35–55.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2020). The power of showing up: How parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. New York: Ballantine Books.
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Transcripts
Once upon a back-to-school morning, my daughter Julia absolutely refused to wear the cutest pair of Ralph Lauren pants to kindergarten. And why? Because of one hilarious little detail: the adorable equestrian patches.
Apparently, she had told her entire class she was a champion horse rider, and those patches were about to blow her cover. I had no clue—but those pants? Not happening.
So what does this have to do with the B-MAT method I’m about to share with you? Everything.
Because sometimes, it’s the tiniest, quirkiest little things that throw off our rhythm. And that’s what we’re doing today—taking those surprises and turning them into smooth sailing using B-MAT: Behavior, Motivation, Ability, and Trigger.
And stick around till the end—I’ve got a little memory trick that’ll help lock it in for good.
Hey, my friend, and welcome to The Anya Garcia Show.
Here we will explore the science of learning, the art of parenting, and the mindset shifts that help you simplify your journey to amplify your growth. You see, I thought I would find purpose in courtrooms—until motherhood showed me it was waiting at home.
So I traded my attorney briefcase for the beauty of homeschooling. Depositions for diapers, and settlements for sensory play. I stepped off the legal path so that I can walk it with you.
Because parenting doesn't come with a manual or legal briefs, so no wonder it can feel overwhelming and messy. But I see you showing up every day, even when no one is watching. And that little voice—"Am I doing enough?"—I hear it too. But here is the truth:
You don't need more to be enough. Because more doesn't create peace. Alignment does. Progress matters more than perfection. And when you stop doubting, you start leading with confidence.
And before you know it, you have created a space where you and your child thrive. Because humans are born with this natural desire to learn and grow. And I am here to help you harness that. Your child's potential is limitless.
And so is yours. We just need to unlock it.
Back-to-school season is officially here (yes, even NJ is full steam ahead!), and with it often comes a whole new level of chaos. If your brain’s already spinning with all the things—shoes that don’t fit, the lunchbox that didn’t make it home, or the urgent need for seventeen glue sticks—you are so not alone.
Today, I’m sharing ONE simple yet ridiculously powerful shift: zoom in on one routine in your day that just isn’t working... and give it a refresh.
Not your whole day. Not a complete overhaul.
Just one thing.
Maybe it’s the morning madness of trying to get everyone out the door, or the way lunch always turns into a snack scavenger hunt. Maybe bedtime has started to feel more like a battle than a cozy wind-down.
Whatever it is—choose just one.
Because this month, I want to focus on rhythm over routine. Not another strict schedule. Not a color-coded calendar. Just finding a daily flow that actually works for your family (and doesn’t make you feel behind before breakfast).
So let’s dive into this Flow Reset, super simple habit-shifting method, called the B-MAT method. This little toolkit is going to help you slay September with a whole lot less stress.
Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Trigger.
Here’s how it breaks down:
Motivation: Get clear on your WHY. That gives your change some roots.
Ability: How can you make it easier? Don’t rely on willpower. Make the new habit simple.
Trigger: What will remind you to actually do it? A visual cue? A timer?
Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be doable.
For example, if mornings are hectic, and getting the kids ready for homeschooling or out to school feels chaotic and stressful. Let's run it through the B-MAT method:
Behavior: The routine to reset is the morning routine.
Motivation: A calmer morning sets a positive tone for the day and reduces stress for everyone.
Ability: Set yourself up for success by prepping the environment the night before. Maybe that means laying out clothes ahead of time and doing a quick check-in with your kiddo to make sure they’re happy with the choice—because a power struggle over pants first thing in the morning? No thank you. You might also prep breakfast items, pack lunches, or create a simple morning checklist that everyone can follow with ease.
Trigger: Use a timer or a note on the fridge as a reminder for the new routine. Or set a little reminder on your phone. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just doable.
Let’s take another example: the midday slump.
By lunch, everyone’s cranky, you’ve reheated your coffee three times, and the house is buzzing with that low-grade chaos.
So you pick that moment and reset it.
Behavior: You want to shift how midday looks and feels.
Motivation: When midday runs better, the afternoon isn’t a disaster.
Ability: Maybe you prep a quiet-time basket with coloring books or audiobooks. You keep a few snacks on hand that don’t need slicing or heating.
Trigger: You set a:Boom. A chaotic moment became manageable.
Or imagine this: you’re a mom heading back to work, or you’re getting the kids ready for school, and one of the biggest hurdles in the morning is breakfast. Everyone’s hungry, the clock is ticking, and you’re trying to avoid the chaos of a rushed meal.
Behavior: The routine to focus on is the breakfast rush. You want to create a smoother, less stressful morning meal.
Motivation: The “why” is simple: a calm breakfast sets a positive tone for the day and ensures everyone starts off nourished and happy.
Ability: Make it easier by prepping simple, healthy breakfast options the night before. Maybe you set up a “breakfast station” with ready-to-go choices, or you prepare overnight oats or a quick smoothie.
Trigger: Use a simple trigger like a morning alarm that gives everyone a 10-minute heads-up that breakfast is ready. Or you could have a fun breakfast playlist that signals it’s time to gather at the table.
By applying the B-MAT method to breakfast, you’re turning a potential morning hurdle into a smoother, more enjoyable start to the day for everyone.
P.S. Let your kiddo have a say in the breakfast options! When they get to choose or help plan, they’re so much more likely to actually eat it—and that just makes everyone’s morning a little brighter.
And if you’re nodding along thinking, “Yes, I need more of this,” then let me invite you to our Compass Circle. It’s a community of like-minded mamas who get it—we know that to be truly present for our kids, we’ve got to fill our own cups and regulate ourselves first. Inside the Compass Circle, we share tips, support each other, and create a space where you can grow right alongside your kiddos.
Now, as we wrap things up, let’s take a quick journey into the anthropology behind why the B-MAT method actually works—and why your brain loves it. For thousands of years, human routines weren’t just about productivity—they were about survival.
Our ancestors didn’t have planners or phone reminders. They had cues from nature—like the sun rising or birds chirping at dawn—to signal it was time to wake, forage, gather, and protect the tribe. Every day followed a predictable rhythm—because unpredictability was dangerous. If you didn’t remember to check the same path for food, you might starve. If you didn’t respond to the snap of a twig in the brush, you might get eaten.
So, their brains adapted by building habits around triggers and routines—because knowing what happens next meant staying alive.
Fast forward to you—standing in the kitchen reheating your coffee for the third time while your toddler is unraveling the toilet paper roll like it’s a birthday streamer.
Your brain? It’s still wired the same way.
That’s why the B-MAT method (Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Trigger) works so well. It speaks to that ancient, deeply human need for rhythm, safety, and predictable flow.
So when you choose one routine to reset—like laying out clothes the night before or turning on a “breakfast playlist” to cue the morning shift—you’re not just organizing your day. You’re reassuring your nervous system that all is well. You’re saying, “We’ve got this.” And your body believes you.
Because when there’s a plan, there’s calm.
And when there’s calm, you’re no longer operating in survival mode.
You’re back in your power.
And here’s a bit of science-backed insight and how each step aligns with the B-MAT method:
Behavior & Habit Formation (Behavior): Research by Dr. BJ Fogg at Stanford University, creator of the Fogg Behavior Model, shows that breaking behaviors into tiny steps and anchoring them to existing routines makes new habits more sustainable. This supports the idea of focusing on one behavior at a time in the B-MAT method.
Motivation & Intrinsic Rewards (Motivation): Studies in motivation psychology, such as those by Dr. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan (Self-Determination Theory), show that when individuals understand the intrinsic “why” behind their actions, they’re more likely to stay committed. In the B-MAT method, focusing on motivation helps reinforce the importance of the routine.
Environmental Cues & Habit Triggers (Ability & Trigger): Research in behavioral economics by Dr. Wendy Wood (author of “Good Habits, Bad Habits”) emphasizes the power of environmental cues and small changes in the environment to make habits easier to adopt. By prepping the environment and using triggers, we align with proven strategies for successful habit formation.
And here is the visual story hook I promised to help you remember:
Picture yourself stepping out of your dreamy summer shore house on a bright, sunny morning. It’s the kind of day that feels like pure magic, and right there at your front door is this ridiculously elegant white mat. I mean, who even has a white mat, right? But just humor the idea!
As you step onto that mat, suddenly—ouch! You let out a cry because you’ve just stepped on a little bee that mistook your white mat for a giant flower. And there you have it: B for the bee (which is your Behavior) and MAT for that fancy mat (which ties in the Motivation, Ability, and Trigger).
Now, every time you think of the B-MAT method, just imagine that sneaky little bee on your white mat, and you’ll never forget it. It’s a quirky, fun mental picture to keep all those steps locked in your mind!
So whether you’re gearing up for the kids to transition back to school or you’re personally returning to your work routine after a summer break, the B-MAT method is your secret sauce to making that transition smoother.
Let’s head into September with confidence and a little more peace.
Pick one shift today—small changes create big ripples.
It’s a flow reset, not a reinvention.
And remember—this month isn’t about more pressure. It’s about finding your rhythm.
You’ve got this, and I always have your back. Thanks for joining me today!
And I will see you soon!
