February is LOVE month, and falling in love with your money can be just as romantic as finding your ideal partner!...... Or at least I think it can be, so in this episode, I share how you can embrace a loving relationship with your money. A healthy relationship with money is key to building wealth. It starts by giving yourself permission to love your money, and then there are a few key steps to keeping the romance alive (which I share in this episode). Get ready to fall in love!   

About the Host:

I am a financial professional, who specializes in helping people to achieve their financial goals.  My absolute passion is creating new possibilities in people’s lives by showing them the ropes when it comes to money. I’m here to spark healthy and positive conversations around wealth and investment and create a world where nobody is limited by their financial situation. I believe this begins with education and shifting our relationships with money. I love getting to witness people achieving their most ambitious goals and creating new possibilities for themselves and their families! 

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Welcome to the wealth and wellness podcast with

me Kaylie Bob air, I specialize in helping people to achieve

their financial goals. I have a love for all things numbers, and

I'm passionate about financial literacy. My goal is to spark

healthy and positive conversations around wealth and

investment, and create a world where nobody is limited by their

financial situation. But wealth is just one piece of the

equation of living our best lives. So join me as we explore

both wealth and wellness topics. From your net worth to your self

worth. Get ready to take confident action. Hello, this is

Kaylee. And thank you so much for listening to this episode of

the wealth and wellness podcast. Since this episode is going to

air shortly after Valentine's Day, I thought it would be great

to stick with the love theme and talk about falling in love with

your money. So I'm not the relationship expert by any

means. But relationship with your money. I can talk about

that all day. Okay, so love, love is wonderful. We love love,

right? Love is great. And I find, though that people have

such mixed emotions when it comes to money. A lot of the

times, it can be more in the realm of negative emotions that

people have about their money. So feeling things like, you

know, there's never enough money is a source of stress, maybe

feeling insecure about where you are where you stand with your

finances, having more of a lack mentality or a scarcity mindset.

So there is often you know, a lot of negative emotions that

come out that people have and hold about money. Well, if money

is actually just energy, which, you know, from a lot of the the

personal growth books and personal development books that

I read they, they remind us about the power of energy and

how money as many other things, money is just energy. So if

we're to have negative thoughts and feelings towards money, it's

not gonna serve you. And it may actually lead to a self

fulfilling prophecy of attracting more of what you

don't want. So if we're having this lack this scarcity mindset,

we're stressed about money. Well, that's what's taking up

our thoughts. When it comes to money, we can end up attracting

more of that or stay really in that realm instead of being more

in the positive. So no one, you know, the negative stuff that

doesn't sound like fun, that's not exciting. So let's shift

that energy and move it around being positive instead. So let's

have a positive energy around money. And in this positive

energy around money, let's take it even one step further and

say, why not fall in love with your money even? Okay,

hopefully, I'm not going on too much of a stretch right now. So

you might say, okay, sure, let's fall in love with our money. Now

what? So the first step that you need to take to actually give is

to actually give yourself permission to fall in love with

your money. So give yourself permission to love your money,

that's going to be the key to starting this That's step one.

Way to often, and especially I you know, I hate to like always

say things, gender, comments about how it's different for men

or women. But I see this more so in women, that the thought of

loving your money, they fear could come off as being seen as

selfish, greedy, materialistic, as women were really given the

message that it's not as acceptable to express a desire

to want money.

How often when you hear a woman specifically, how often do we

even hear women specifically talking about wanting a lot of

money wanting to be a millionaire, you know, women

negotiating women asking for raises. It doesn't happen as

much as it does for men. So when men are talking about money, we

often see that as you know, that they're, they're ambitious. And

for women, it's then coming across as more negative so

wanting more money or wanting to have money in abundance for

women that's often seen as you know, people are almost

judgmental of that versus in a men man's case. It's usually

seen as like, that's fabulous. That's ambitious. He's out

there, you know, me earning for his family and whatnot. And I

know this is not always the case. And I'm not trying To make

like sweeping generalizations, but it still happens. I know, as

a woman, I'm not comfortable just going out, necessarily and

saying, you know, I love money and just shouting, I love money

and, and feeling okay with that. And, and again, so it's, it's

it's different and for everyone's experiences, probably

very different but I just want to stress that I think from a

female experience, it just, it's maybe more so that there is some

insecurities or some fears about expressing that even if we're

looking like for women looking at money in how they relate to

relationships, and when women are talking about their ideal

partner, they're often afraid to even address the money topic

because they're, they're scared of being judged, there's, you

know, throwing out words, someone's throwing out words of

saying like you're a gold digger than if you're looking for a man

that has money. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to

find a man that has, you know, abundance and a good money vibe,

especially if you're wanting to bring that to the table as well,

that Positive Money, Money energy. But unfortunately, we

feel the need that we have to like skirt around the topic of

wanting that to win our partner, because you don't want to come

off. As you know, I'm just interested in someone's money,

or I'm a gold digger. And again, it comes to this judgemental

factor of what we maybe are thinking that, you know, society

might think and, and you see it in social media and things like

that, of of that that actually happening to women. So I think

it's important to declare to all the listeners, you men and

women, it's okay to love money. And it's okay to want to find a

partner, if you are single, and you know, wanting to find a

partner that has similar Positive Money, energy, these

are all okay, things to want, and to desire. Because if we

think of money as energy, if we love it, we can only attract

more of it into our lives. Okay, so money. And it's okay to love

it like money. Again, if it's just energy, it's just energy.

And it's, and what money allows us to do is really, you know,

the power of it. And basically, you know, the joy and whatnot

that comes of money. So, money affords us the ability to live

our dreams and experience some of our most memorable moments.

So there's nothing wrong with loving money. Okay, so nothing

wrong with it, men and women, it's okay to love money. And

it's a good energy to have as positive as Positive Money,

vibe. Money allows freedom and flexibility. You know, it gives

you opportunity to go where you want to go do what you want to

do. And if you look down upon wealth as greedy or

materialistic, well, the how do you expect to build it and

welcome it into your own life and more of into your own life.

So take some time to closely monitor to, again, if that

judging is coming up for you. That's something to just reflect

on. So what comes up for you around money and abundance?

When you like when you see others, so maybe you see someone

driving like a spate of fancy sports car, or someone with a

designer bag. And you maybe what you have done in the past is you

go through it straight to judgment. And you know, say

yourself, Well, why would they spend so much to buy that

material item? Well, instead, why don't you see this as a

visual reminder, that abundance is out there, and it's available

to everyone. So see these as your just visual clue cues of,

you know, money and love loving money and the energy of money,

and it's out there. And it's available for us all. So again,

it's that it's a great reminder. So see it as a moment to just

reflect and be like, Hmm, this is a good reminder that money is

available to me, abundance is available to me, I can have a

loving energy with money. Okay, so that was about giving

yourself permission. So you have to first obviously give yourself

permission to fall in love. But part of that giving yourself

permission. I'm part of what might be holding you back to

embracing and really, you know, fully diving into that allowing

yourself too to be in this. This loving energy with money is

holding on to fears and maybe being stuck in money mistakes

that you might be carrying with you. So what I've witnessed from

many people that I've met with and talk to you about money is

that money mistakes can actually be debilitating in people's

lives, and the impact it has on their current relationship with

money. I've met with people who have you know, for instance,

just sad On the sidelines with cash and did no investing, or

put their money to work at all. So really, they're missing out

on even outpacing inflation, it's almost that, you know, put

your money on your mattress, and you're actually losing money for

B from it being eroded away by inflation. But they, they do

that because of maybe something that happened to them. In the

past that they see as like a money mistake, maybe they had a

poor investment, and they lost some money. And now from that

point on, they're, they're completely just okay, I can't do

anything. With money, I need to just have it sit in cash. And I

don't want to do you know, absolutely anything. And, you

know, there's a lot of options when it comes to investing. And

there are some low risk options that might be suitable. So you

are missing out on some opportunity from being sort of

stuck in that fear from a negative experience. And it

doesn't even have to be mistakes that are of people's own doing.

So I've seen it even for, you know, people hearing about

something that happened to someone they know, that has

impacted their relationship. For instance, like people invoice

avoiding investing altogether, because, you know, their parents

lost money on poor investment. And they remembered hearing

about that. And so it never actually happened to them, but

just based on the situation happening to a loved one, then

they're completely okay, I'm not going to do anything, I'm going

to, you know, take a step back, and I am not going to address

this, I'm not going to do any sort of investing and, and

growing and again, not working your favor, because obviously,

inflation is going to start to work away at that purchasing

power. So

just like if you're single and looking to find a partner.

Again, I'm not the relationship expert here. But part of giving

yourself permission to fall in love is allowing room for the

true possibility of love. So it's not holding on to past

experiences and letting those holds you back. Because that can

also be debilitating. If you had a poor relationship experience,

you and you're sort of stuck in that experience in holding on to

that you're not going to be as open to putting yourself out

there and, and the possibilities that you know, there is love for

you. And there is your perfect partner out there. And to be

open to that. So again, if you're stuck in those past

experiences, you could be kind of closing yourself off to that.

So not holding on to past experiences, just like in your

dating life relates with your money. Same is true with your

money. So don't let where you've been in the past with your

money, keep you from embracing the possibility of loving your

money. If it's a past mistake that has you stuck, well, then

it's time to forgive yourself and move forward. And also to

time to replace the word mistake with lesson. Because the lessons

is a much better way of looking at it. And lessons are so

powerful. They can be our greatest gifts from the

knowledge and the insight we gained from lessons. So let all

that money baggage that you might have been letting you know

hold you back, let go of it. Let's let go of the money

baggage. So say bye bye, goodbye. And thank you for the

lessons. So be grateful for the lessons that you've learned

about money. And then move forward and give yourself

permission to fall in love with money. Yay. So we're falling in

love feels good. Now that you've given yourself permission to

love money, you might say okay, what comes next? Well, how do

you maintain a loving relationship in your personal

life? Think about that. How have you maintained loving

relationships? One of the things I'm sure is that you have to

that you have found I'm sure in your own loving relationships as

you have to give them time and attention. You know, we don't

show our love for someone else by completely ignoring them. Do

we like is that a loving relationship? Just completely

ignoring someone? And you know them getting none of our

attention? None of our time? No? Heck no. We spend time with

loved ones we do nice things we maintain the loving

communication. So there there's an effort put in there's a

tension there's time given and the same is true for your money.

So again, think of loving relationships. Just use the same

with money, love money.

So if you want to show love to your money, you cannot let it go

completely ignored. It deserves your time and attention too. And

too often people avoid money and money topics altogether. And

that's not an a positive approach to money. So if we're

thinking, let's take a positive approach, let's be in a positive

energy around money while avoiding it and not even just

discussing it or thinking about it. That's not a positive

approach at all. So you devote hours of your time to making

money. We spent hours and hours and hours, I'm assuming in your

career, in whatever it is you do if you're an entrepreneur and

your business, but how much time? Do you spend all that time

earning money? You spend lots of time, the majority of our time,

I would say, for most people in your working years is spent at

your job making money. But how much time do you actually give

back to your money? By paying attention to it by giving it an

opportunity to thrive? As you would someone you love? So how

can we show? How can we give our money time and attention and

show it some more love? Well, some ideas are, spend some time

getting to know your money. So how do we spend time gauging

your money while understanding how much money you have. So a

great tool for that is your net worth statement. And I talk

about that a lot on this podcast. So I'm sure there's a

past episode where I go into a little bit more detail on how to

create your net worth statement. Knowing how much money you

spent, and how much you earn, so that tracking kind of having an

idea of your budget, that's a great exercise for getting to

know your money. Another way of giving money, time and attention

is communicating about it with your partner. So if you are in a

scenario, where you're, you know, married common law, you're

with a partner, having conversations about money is so

important. So you know, you know where the other person stands,

that you're on the same page with your goals and things like

that. That's so important. So communicating about money, if

you're in a situation where there is a partner, and money's,

obviously, then a topic of conversation for you both to

communicate about. How else can we give our money, time and

attention, we can go plan, we can get really specific on what

our dreams or desires are for our money. You can support your

money to grow and work for you by investing. And there's a lot

of different options when it comes to investing that cater to

your unique needs, and your comfort level for risk and all

that you can spend time learning more about money. So how can we

do that we can listen to podcasts like this one, you can

read articles about money, you can read personal finance books,

you can take a course, basically,

anything that relates to spending time working on your

money is showing it love. So giving it time giving an

attention that you know checks the box for this recommendation

of showing it some love. So now what else is essential for a

healthy and loving relationship with your money. So we've given

ourselves permission to fall in love or giving it time and

attention, what else needs to happen? Well, you have to still

prioritize it and take some action to write it. It also

takes action. Again, you cannot just ignore it. But you have to

be on top of paying attention and do things that are going to

help it thrive and grow. So how do we help money grow? Well,

first, you can't give it all away. So you have to keep some

of your money for you. And so what am I alluding to, of

course, saving money, so you have to save some saving just

means more money for you. It shouldn't feel restrictive. It's

about actually empowering you and freeing you. Because when

you save money, again, it's for you. It's not for anyone else,

you save money, it's your money. So saving is vital to building

wealth. And so that's why saving is such an important step in

this that if you want to build wealth, you're going to have to

save money, I can tell you one of the biggest differentiators

to having a healthy relationship with money. And being in a good

place. Like where I see people that are very comfortable with

where they're at in their finances. They do save money.

That's a big piece of it. And they have been diligent about

saving it for some time. So it's things like getting started very

early with savings if possible, if at all possible, but of

course, better you know now than never. So if it feels like it's

too late, no, I'm not saying that at all. Start where you are

start now. That's key. So if savings, if saving money has

been a challenge for you in the past, I would ask you to dig

deeper into why or what might be causing that. So get a little

bit you know, start asking yourself questions if it's been

hard. You know what is hard about it? What do you think has

been the major block that's maybe limiting you or

prohibiting you from saving as much as you'd like to be saving?

Maybe that You know, what you find is you need to spend some

more time reviewing your expenses. And you can see if

there's anything that you can easily eliminate to allow for a

little bit more saving. Maybe what you find is you need to

automate it, because you just simply keep forgetting, it just

slips your mind. And then, you know, a month couple months go

by and you're like, Oh, I haven't put any money towards my

retirement savings or towards my tax free account. Completely

forgot, I need to do that. So if that's the case, maybe it's

about automating it to make it easier to it's not just an extra

list of things to do that could be forgotten.

And having a discipline strategy focused on savings rate is also

a really good approach that I find a lot of people like so

saying, Okay, can you save about 10 to 15% of your income towards

your longer term savings, because if you read personal

finance books, a lot of them, you know, target that if you can

save about 10 15% of your income towards those like financial

freedom goals, retirement goals, that is ideal. So some people

like to see that number and then have that all set up and kind of

work backwards, so they make saving the priority. And then

they construct kind of how everything else is going to

unfold after that. What also might help if saving has been a

challenge is using making sure you have a rainy day fund to

allow for a bit of a buffer because sometimes if things

happen in life, and extra expenses come up, you know, you

might not want to be digging into that longer term savings,

it might feel, you know, disempowering. Or it feels like

you're taking a few steps backward, if you're starting to,

you know, go into those savings to use to cover the expenses

that come up, instead of having a little bit of a cushion some

buffer outside of it, where you don't have to tap into some of

those longer term savings. So how else can you support your

money grow and thrive? So one is obviously through savings,

that's one of the very important steps that you can control. And

then another way to support your money to grow and thrive is

through investing. And investing is one of the best ways to get

your money working for you. And to have it grow. It's flexible

investing, there's so many different investment products

and tools out there available. Probably too many, but it just

means that there's something out there for anyone in whatever

you're looking for, there's probably something specifically

that is going to work to fill that need. It's accessible to

everyone, you can open an account with $0 and get started

investing. So there's really no excuse as to why you're not or

why you might have to wait or put it off. And the power of

compounding is really what works once you're investing to help

your money grow because your money is building upon itself

with compounding and a key to compounding is giving it time.

So the sooner you get started on saving and investment. And this

this step of saving and investing, the better. So always

sooner sooner, the better. If you're listening to this, take

some action right after you're hearing this, to take you know,

to do something to work towards one of those building that

loving relationship. So what do I have for you? Lastly, to fall

in love with your money, make sure you're spending time

planning and dreaming for the future. So when you think about

being in love, a big piece of that, that love is about

planning your future together with your partner, you get to

share your dreams and desires. And and you get to talk about

you know, what is that? What does that look like? What

adventures are you guys going to pursue in your future together,

it could be buying a home, it could be about getting married,

having kids going on certain trips, all sorts of things that

it's exciting in that planning is it's fun to do and it feels

good. So the same needs to be included in your loving

relationship with your money. You have to make goals, and you

have to really plan out what is that you want? What is your

future with your money look like? You know, so you can you

can break that down too. So you can say, okay, what are my short

term goals for my money? My 123 year goals? What are my medium

term, the five to 10 year timeframe on 10 years plus so my

longer term goals for my money, what are those? And then getting

as specific as you can of course we all know with goal planning

and goal setting, the more specific you can get the better.

And really remembering that when it comes to money, it's your

money and you get to decide. It's not about you know, what

can I do or what will I be able to achieve with my money? We

need to switch that around so it's not happening to you again.

That's more than that fear mindset that men, that scarcity

mentality when we're in the positive energy with money, it's

about what are your biggest dreams and desires because

that's what's going to make your relationship with money so much

more fun and exciting, is really dreaming big and going into

those and and planning them out. And and I truly I am the

believer that it is about energy and the more we put it out there

of what you want and get specific is going to happen.

You're going to reach those goals.

So that's it. That's all I have for you today. And I hope you're

ready to fall in love with your money after listening to this

episode. So you know, maybe Valentine's maybe you're single

person and it was a bit lonely. But now you found some something

to love and it's your money. Okay. So thank you so much for

listening to this episode, and I will catch you on the next

episode. All right, bye for now

I hope you found value in this episode. And because I'm such a

proponent of taking confident action, I want to pose a

question to you the listener. What is one action that you feel

inspired to take after listening to today's episode? If you enjoy

listening, please subscribe and share with your friends and

family. Thank you so much and I will catch you next time