Joel and Andy kick off Season 8 with Francis Disori to discuss creating communities of hope at Lexington House,. Francis explains the "Clubhouse" model, where a "need to be needed" helps bring color back to life for those facing mental health challenges,. Plus, enjoy a fun Pop Quiz featuring hummus and crowbars.

On this episode of the Dudes and Dads podcast, we're talking with our friend Francis DeSore

about creating communities of hope.

Joel.

Andrew.

It is season eight.

Oh my goodness.

Episode one.

Oh my goodness.

How has it been so long?

Where has the time passed?

By the way, I did see, it came up in my memories on Facebook.

I did see a photo of myself sitting in front of a laptop

sketching out the first ever episode

of the Dudes and Dats podcast recently.

- That was the introduction one, right?

Where we just interviewed each other.

- It was, and I had more hair.

I did, I can tell.

- More hair?

- Yeah, I had the hairline had not receded quite as much.

And so that tells you the time has passed.

And we're wiser, we're better in touch

things in our lives. I'm more organized, more insightful.

I have more gray in my beard.

No, I often feel like where did the time go? But we are here. We're excited to have each

and every one of you along for the ride. And we're grateful that this is yet another season.

We're kicking it off, kicking the new year off right, Andy.

Yes, yes we are.

Do you, you and I have talked about our feelings about New Year's resolutions.

How we don't like them.

like them. We just want to say every year that hopefully we're getting better every

year. Hopefully, spiritually, we're getting more in tune, we're getting where we need

to be, we're loving our family better, loving our kids better, all those things. But I refuse

to make a resolution about that. And I feel like, by the way, our sermon this morning

was around that.

And I felt affirmed by yet another another valuable voice in my life that just said don't make resolutions just

just continue to strive at at living a good life and

And just not being uh not settling for the average right right okay great. Hey, it's been a great show everybody

That's uh no hey what the thing I am resolute resoluting resolute today

Yeah, which is bad for a show day

But is that you can now call our studio live no you can yes you can Andy five seven four five zero one

Four four six seven will allow you to get into our our live studio

So we'd love to have somebody call is that something eventually that we'll have our our viewers production assistant Jamie slash Marky Mark

He'll get to screen the calls eventually he will you're gonna have some real crackpots calling we might

We know our audience we know

Hey everybody. We also wanted to say

Though we are waiting on official official sponsorships

we've been so blessed by the people that

Support this show make it happen because we got some bills that we have to pay every year for in various technology things

would love to have we want to invite you if you're

Any one of our friends business owner organization runner or whatever it is

And you want to be a sponsor of the dudes and Ed's podcast?

Glad to have you on board be sure to send us you could send us leave us a voicemail. Yes

Leave us a voicemail at

574 five zero one four four six seven fantastic or you could email us at dudes and dads podcast at gmail.com

Would love to make that connection always love to partner with area businesses organizations that want to absolutely us keep this thing on the tracks

Anything else you have Andy because we're we're starting the year off strong with a real with just a real strong show notes

I'm just now making sure I'm checking out everything off the list. Okay, great. Good. Wonderful. Excellent

Okay without any further ado then our we want to welcome our friend

Francis Tesori who?

Who is graciously agreed to travel all the from distant lands?

Within this county, but I've learned that some sometimes when

I tell folks from this area like hey

There's a place over in Elkhart which for those of you that are from our national listeners

It's not terribly far away. They act like it's from here to the moon, so I

Anytime someone drives over five miles to come in the CS. I feel like they've achieved great thing right

Francis welcome to the dudes and dads podcast glad to have you here with us. Thank you

Privilege thank you so much. He made the drive and that alone tells me that he's he's a he's a real winner so

So, Francis, there's, you know, when this show is all about, as we've kind of mentioned

before the show, this show is all really about, we want to connect to our community, the people

that have kind of entrusted us to like share stories and connect resources with people

and to help so many, so many of our folks, our parents, or they are providing care for

people.

And so whenever we hear about an organization that we think just needs to get more press,

needs to get more exposure, needs to have their story told more, we want to jump at

that opportunity.

So you lead such an organization in our community that provides just an essential, necessary

partnership with folks and essential services.

So we want to talk about that and your work at Lexington House.

But first, we just want to talk about you a little bit.

We want to get a little information about you.

So this is what we call the dad stats.

So you're a father, you've got family.

So we just want you to tell us all the nice little biographical information that you want

to put out on the internet right now about yourself, your family, where you come from,

where you were born.

Because I'm picking up on a vibe that he is maybe not a lifelong Elkhart County resident,

but maybe we're going to find out.

We're going to be on the train together.

So tell us all the things you want to tell us about yourself and your life.

friend. Okay, very good. Yeah. Can't do that. First of all, I

go to bed about 730 PM. So we're man, we're keeping, we're

keeping. Okay. Obviously the people who know me are like, you

really must. And I'm like, yeah, of course I would do the drive.

I'd stay up past my bedtime because 4am comes early. I'm an

early riser. I win the morning. Yeah. Originally from

Northeastern Pennsylvania. I grew up Catholic American,

Italian American, excuse me, grew up in a Catholic parish.

And so family is six.

My dad working class war to that, um,

drove ambulance for four years, active duty over in the Philippines,

New Guinea. My mom was one of 14 or 15. I can't remember the math.

Um, but more grew up in an orphanage, um, and was a caregiver.

So we have a family that's, um, people of service.

my sisters, I have four older sisters and an older brother,

brother served in the military, my siblings, nurses,

and or a school teacher and or social worker. Yeah.

So I'm like, um, yeah,

this is my pathway to serve and to serve our community.

So I have a degree from Rutgers university,

master's degree in social work took back in the eighties,

coming up on 40 years being a social worker, uh,

which I'm very proud of.

I couldn't always say that because back in the eighties being a male social worker

You were your odd guy out. I was the odd guy out. Yes, that's true. But over time

Very blessed. I have a godson who is a social worker

He got his degree from Columbia University out of New York

And my son has his degrees master's from I

Indiana University of Social Work and he does hospice work out in the Portland area

And neither one in I have ever said, Hey, go be a social worker.

I said, go make money or marry rich.

And so both of them have done well,

but they have found fulfillment in their lives.

And so when we get together, we get together and I enjoy their company.

And so it wasn't too bad of a choice to go into social work.

Originally I was looking at the seminary back through high school cause I went

at the parochial school.

And I was like, oh, that's a good pathway.

It just did not feel right to me.

I pursued some athletics and then I realized,

well, five concussions in football,

probably not the best way to go.

And that was way before the knowledge we have today.

So I'm like, no, academics is the best way to go.

Finally, since we were talking a little bit about Francis,

since you asked, and I really don't like talking

about Francis. Impact for me is during my high school years in early 80s,

definitely during my graduate years. I was a caregiver, co caregiver with mom

for dad who back in those days Alzheimer's was a new term in early 80s.

Hardening of the arteries was really the term, but working class row home. So dad

stayed home and we took care of him, um,

throughout almost 1980s, um,

till about 1988. So that was my high school, college and graduate.

That was my relationship as a caregiver with mom.

My older siblings were out and they were having their families and I was at home

made a huge impact for me, uh,

appreciation of life and has led me to move into the field that

I'm in now and working in mental health, brain health,

with adults who have a history of, uh, severe persistent conditions.

Um, but eventually led me down the road to working at a clubhouse and

clubhouses really are about bringing life back into people and like,

let's work on the strengths. Let's have a need to be needed.

Rather than, uh, what's your illness? Because we're human beings and that's the,

that's clubhouse. And I really enjoy that about the model.

I spent a lot of my time, my profession first 38 years,

hard to believe that's gone past. Um,

mostly in high acuity work, working first responders,

working at state hospitals, uh,

work for two great nonprofits here in the Elkhart area.

One being Oakland psychiatric center,

which I work a good chunk of my career and also for faith mission of

Michiana during the pandemic, which was really interesting time, which

What a nice way to put that.

Between those two experiences, I grew up a lot and was ready to take on this next

pathway of stewarding Lexington House.

One thing that a lot of people don't know about Elkhart County, we're really rich,

rich in kindness and humanity. And it is proof. And I,

hear me out. There's 330 to 350 clubhouses around the world.

The model has been around since 1948. Obviously something's working.

And in the United States is about 220.

And in Indiana there's 11 clubhouses.

You know how many clubhouse Elkhart County has? No. Wrong answer.

I'd say two.

two would be a good answer, right? Because there are.

So why does this County have two clubhouses? Yeah.

Right. There's 92 counties in Indiana.

And we have two of the whatever.

What does that say about Elkhart County and the communities of Goshen and Elkhart?

Yeah. We were caring, caring County. Yeah.

Yeah. And the means, right.

And because it is back to that richness of kindness and

our humanity. So I will share a little bit about Lexington house. Cause that's

really what I want to talk about.

So in just specifically, you've talked about this clubhouse model.

And as a national model, there's, there's a certification,

accreditation sort of things.

And then it's expressed specifically within these clubs that are in our

communities. So yeah, break that down.

Yeah. Tell us a little bit about, about the clubhouse in general.

And then you can.

Absolutely. So clubhouse is an international.

I was giving you the globe look rather than Indiana.

And with it,

it starts with a need to be needed and supportive community

started in 48 out of New York city. Um,

some individuals, so the folklore goes, but I'm pretty sure it's pretty accurate.

Some individuals got discharged from a state hospital, just North Manhattan,

started meeting at the, um, steps of the library.

And they said, Hey, people don't really get us.

And I'm paraphrasing because I wasn't there, but I would,

I read enough and have heard enough in clubhouse world saying they don't get us.

We need to support each other for employment, housing.

And you know, they don't get us. We're human beings. We're not our diagnosis,

not the illness. So eventually something came out of it called Fountainhouse.

And Fountainhouse is the flagship of the clubhouses.

It's in Hill's Kitchen.

I think it's on 47th street on West side.

And it was a donation of a property that had a fat one in the back.

And so it began and Clem House has really picked up traction.

Um, in the fifties where they got some structure,

they added some staff rather than just people coming together and saying, Hey,

we've got to support each other by how we do that.

And then in the eighties, they really took off. Took off means people say,

there's value here. And what is the value?

The real win is for, um,

people to come to clubhouse and not be alone.

And I've been in the game a long time and I've worked on the full gamut of

mental health for adults.

Being alone is probably, it is not okay.

especially if you have a condition that's starting to become ill.

So the episode for our mental health situation could arise quickly by coming to

club. You're not alone. Guarantee there's going to be somebody there.

Now that doesn't mean that we do treat, we don't do treatment at club.

We link you to the systems. I mean,

the nice thing about Lexington house is that we're five blocks from the Oakland

2600, the Goshen clubhouse is right near here. Lake, uh, Lakeview area,

which is the main hub for Oakland,

we will help if we can to get people there.

If not, we will call for the necessary need

to get people there.

And Oakland has this great system, they will come out.

What a great community we live in, right?

And so Clubhouse, the win is if you come here,

you won the day.

Rather than staying at home or what you call home,

sleeping like a good chunk of the day in isolation.

Right? You know, again, that takes a lot of courage to come.

So I'm inspired every day I go to work because I don't see it as it is work.

Right. But at the end of the day, I get inspired every day.

People come in. I'm like, we're going to, we're going to have fun here.

And then they said, what do you do at a club? Do you play games?

Do you do arts and craft? That's a day program.

The one element about mental health is that

It doesn't discriminate.

And what I mean it doesn't discriminate

is that we have an amazing group of people

who come to club 'cause they come from all aspects

of our community and they bring such talents

and gifts and energy.

Wow, right? - Yeah.

- So what do they do at a club?

They run the business of Clubhouse in the work order day.

You come to club, people say,

"What can I learn about club?"

Best way, come for a tour.

We're open eight to four most clubs are because we simulate a work order day. Okay, you show up

We'll show you you'll see a lot of whiteboards because we only have two meetings a day and the meetings are who's gonna do what?

Everything's voluntary at a clubhouse. Nobody tells you what to do. So you don't have to do anything showing up is the win

Right now all things are possible post but if I can start doing some things like I used to do oh my

Confidence build resiliency comes back color comes back into you and saying I can do this I can do that right

I'm sorry. I'm speaking. I'm very passionate about we love it. Yeah, so use the term use the term color comes back into life

I love that. I love that image

Because for some for so many they're kind of living in this gray black and white

World where the kind of color has been been drained out of their life

they're not they're not feeling the excitement and vibrancy of

of to affect their own lives positively.

They feel like they're kind of, cause I, I've, I mean,

from hearing from stories from folks, it's kind of like,

uh, I didn't know, uh, you know,

I didn't know the way back to kind of live, living my own life,

living my own life and experiencing, you know, I,

I knew what happiness or joy in life was maybe at some point.

I remember that, but it just seemed like that was like out of, out of reach.

And then I came to club.

And then I'm with these other people.

I have a community now.

I have purpose.

I'm needed there.

And then I'm building skills back.

I'm gaining confidences back.

And then this kind of--

It's like that snowball, right?

As you do something, you get more confident,

then you can do more.

And I just have to imagine that getting to see that sort of

thing on a regular basis to see that that process of color coming back to

people's lives I mean that's pretty that's pretty inspiring I think.

Yes you can think that and I'll confirm it. Yeah. Two really quick just examples

clubs are open on major holidays and so Christmas this year, New Year's, clubs

open 10 to 2. We are a work family so for those who don't have family or don't

have access to their biological family or what they consider, they come in the club.

And I really took note this year, we have moved to our new location, because we're a

business that has grown in five years.

I will talk maybe at the end a little bit about that, because it's a business and you

have to grow a business, right?

Or you're out of business.

And the other part of that is like to sit back and watch individuals come in and to

have fun, enjoy other people's company, laugh.

I was looking around and I was like, we played bingo.

We had, we created our, we had pizza bingo for new year's and we created our own subs

and we did some coloring and some other work.

And you said, well, that sounds like club.

I said, we're not in work order day.

It's a holiday.

Just like all families, you don't do work on holidays.

You have fun and enjoy each other's company.

And we had so much fun.

People were laughing and I'm like,

I've enjoyed when some of Oakland staff

have dropped by the club

because they see people in different outfits.

- Okay.

- You know, we are so blessed to have

in Oakland Psychiatric Center,

Community Mental Health Center,

they're working on the,

Imagine if you're not in one of those 92 counties that don't have one of those. What do you do that?

Right, we have or a faith mission of Michiano

We have we have we have a lot of very good resources. So both Christmas and New Year's this year

I was like we're in a home which has been converted into a clubhouse

Person out of Fort Wayne Fort Wayne has a clubhouse carriage house. It's really the flagship

It's the largest one they average about 37 38 people a day. We do about 17

But we're down a kitchen unit which we've had to renovate and create a kitchen unit

Which involves a capital campaign and health department and all that piece. We're almost there

We're gonna be there by February 1st

So our attendance will jump for that but people are saying you're an anomaly clubhouses usually start with kitchens

We're like we really start with people coming together because they want to be connected with people and we're proving that because we saw it

doing the

our clubhouse the Lexington and clubhouse

Started September 3rd

2020

Right, so get a call from Clubhouse International

From the person who's been with them a long time since I have one question for me surge

really nice guy came and did an accreditation for us later.

And he goes, "So why are you opening a nonprofit

"in the middle of why everybody's shutting down

"a nonprofit?"

And here's what I said to him,

and I'm gonna say it tomorrow at the Rotary,

Elkhart Rotary, I'll be talking about

our five-year anniversary.

This is Elkhart County.

"What better time to add light to the hope?"

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- We have not forgotten.

- Yeah.

we opened with $4,000,

probably about three or four pending members, right.

And River of Life Church outstanding again,

a resource in the community at that time, they said, Hey, nobody,

we can't have funeral dah, dah, dah. We can't have wedding. We have all this space.

We're like, we can use that.

And we became really good at virtual clubhouse because nobody else could.

So we playing field was even among all the other clubhouse.

Nobody else knew how to do it.

And we're like, we do, and we don't have any bad habits

because you guys have them

because you've been running a clubhouse.

So we grew and we have grown significantly.

Our budget is about, not about FY 26 is going to be 300

and roughly 58,000, right?

We have four staff, full-time, which is awesome.

We have an incredible board.

I cannot say more.

We just do, they get it.

They're a working board.

I rate them A plus people, A plus board.

I'm saying I would go higher.

They just get in it and they do it.

Our partnerships, we have a good solid 12 base.

Some go, some come, but some stay very consistent

like an Oak Lawn, like Faith Mission.

The Excel Center, which I don't know if you guys know

about the Excel Center.

It is a gem of Elkhart.

It is an adult high school

that if you only need a few credits,

or if you need a lot of credits, come be part of it.

And it's free, it's underwritten by goodwill.

- Okay.

- And they have done incredibly good work.

And they are, we both had wings at the church.

They had one wing, we had the other,

and eventually we both left almost at the same time,

yet we are only about two blocks apart.

'Cause we stayed in our community,

and it's really been great.

So that gives you an idea of our community.

Talk to me about,

because I've heard you very clearly on it's, it's not about diagnoses.

It's about the purse. It's about the person. Tell me,

tell me the sort of person,

kind of maybe a typical story or something of the type of person that is,

that is coming and being a member at your clubhouse.

Cause I know there's a variety of folks, but kind of in general,

in generalities, what, what is that person's experience been up,

maybe up to the point that they've come to clubhouse and like, what are they kind of,

how are they getting their feet wet and kind of jumping in and getting involved?

What tends to be kind of the general experience of someone?

Okay.

Before I get to that answer, I would just want to throw out for the audience to be a

clubhouse member, 18 or over in a history of mental illness.

Yeah.

Okay.

We don't ask you to bring in the verify.

However, if there does come into question, we'll ask, Hey, have you been medically diagnosed

But we get we start right out of the box with we take you for your word. Yeah, right

Are you 18 and do you have a history?

Because that's only for the integrity of the people who are in that clubhouse saying, okay, we all get it

We've all known the indignities and what range we've all gone through but you're in the club because we all get so

Who's gonna make the coffee who's gonna take care of doing the social media? He's gonna check Facebook. Who's gonna write that?

That's club because we get busy with the work

Everybody puts the other stuff aside.

Give you a good story.

I just talked to him recently.

One of our first, actually the first,

Clubhouse, once you start coming,

we have platforms within the system.

One of the platforms is employment.

We're not like a lot of employment,

but we help people.

We, with our transitional employment,

we have partnerships that we said,

"Hey, we will have a job there.

Our staff will go out, train this person for that.

The employer doesn't lose any money because my,

or the staff of the clubhouse knows how to do the job.

So if they call in, the staff goes in and covers the shift. Oh, wow. Right.

Good deal. Right. Yeah.

So one of our first persons who went through T E a transitional employment and

six to nine month part where you have someone and I happen to be a person on

site with him, working with him and Kroger.

And it was about 25,

between 25 and 30 and it was his first job

where he would draw down a paycheck, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- And didn't know how to get there

'cause he didn't know how to, he couldn't drive,

didn't have a car.

So I didn't do it for, it's with.

So there were some challenges in the going through,

and I have the challenges today.

If you ever go looking for a job, everything's online.

It's not like Pat and Pet anymore.

- Right, right.

- So there were some challenges.

We were able to work through some of the challenges.

He worked for about two and a half, three years.

He's now working for, and I will say it, he's working.

We're the city.

Yeah.

I've Elk are doing really well.

Yeah.

Loves his job.

Yeah.

In the meantime, he now has his driver's license and he has his own vehicle.

That's awesome.

Amazing.

Yeah.

You'll see if you choose to our new marketing video that's coming out, he even

comments and they helped them get a job.

by not just get, but you have maintained work

for almost four years.

You have your own vehicle.

And one of the things that he shared with me,

he goes, "I don't have to be so dependent

"on my benefits now because I can do for me."

So that's a story.

And I think that's where you were hunting.

Give you another story.

If you went to our website and you see the videos there,

one of the stories is about an individual who,

When you're ill, you lose a lot of confidence, right?

And you don't want to go out and be among people.

It's a lot easier to just stay in bed for 12, 15,

or 18 hours, and then you get up and say,

I'm kind of tired, I've been sleeping all the time.

This individual had some of that kind of behavior.

Took a lot of courage to come to Clubhouse.

Will share with her family saying they get her at Club.

we don't get her, this individual now probably sleeps

only eight hours a day and is interacting

with other human beings and does great things

within our system, runs our ledger, which is our newsletter,

and her talents are incredible.

- Yeah, and not to put too fine a point on it,

but in that same video, if I'm thinking of the right story,

I think I am, has overtly said, "Without Clubhouse,

I'm not, I'm not here anymore.

Okay. Joel, you get a point. I've been

not going to go over here now, but I've been, you, I'm impressed.

You did in your homework, both the community foundation, the podcast there,

but you've also gone and done some homework on us. Yeah. To me,

that's fulfillment.

Golly. I mean, like this

for people listening. And number one, if, if any of our,

Because when we know this, that we have a listening community that has that has friends

and family members that have these kind of these these kind of needs that have these

stories, we absolutely know that.

And I think for any family, there is there is a there's a fear.

My when my years and years ago, my brother was was younger.

I mean, some would be similar story.

Sleeping multiple, multiple hours a day was, you know, diagnosed the acute agoraphobia

And had like some significant challenges, and I remember we as a family feeling number one powerless to like

It felt like we weren't sure

In that season of his life, I mean things are so great things are so great now so different

But like these would been his adolescent years

You just you're like grasping at straws. You're just like what can we possibly do to help this person?

Also fully acknowledging we didn't fully get him

We we didn't have a way of like because we we didn't know other people that were going through the same thing that he was

Necessarily right so yeah

He's maybe seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist or you know doing these sort of things and we're trying to address those you know you're trying

to dress that kind of thing, but

You know when I hear stories of people say I found I found purpose

And that's why I'm here today like I was surrounded with these with these people and that is why I'm here

That is that is nothing short of I mean it's a miracle that that's that that

Lexington house or any club like that would come into play in a person's life and that they've gone from such a place of darkness

and hopelessness to

Like turning a corner like that like that's that's that's amazing

But for a family a support system to see that happen like so you're you're like, you know

I would say you're ministering to to be you know

You're missing to the family and to the end of the person as well because man,

oh man, like watching someone you love and care about struggle that way.

And just being like, I don't like, I don't get it. You know, like I don't,

I don't know what else I can do. Um,

when you find a community that does get it, it's huge.

What are the, um,

greatest compliments Lexington house has received, um,

came from the Community Foundation of Elkhart County.

And they're great partners with us,

and they came over and checked us out.

And the feedback that we got is that

you have a culture of kindness.

You just don't talk it, but when you walk in, it is there.

Well, who wouldn't want to be there?

I mean, the world's hard enough out there, right?

And coming to a place where people get you

doesn't mean we're providing

or we replace traditional mental health treatment.

I'm all in on that.

Please do not misunderstand.

CLEP does not replace that.

We enhance that.

And with that, it gets a place to grow,

get that confidence back in the game.

It also gets the resiliency up, which is hope.

Like if I can do this, I can do that.

Like the gentleman who's now working

or the individual who's not sleeping,

You saw the video. It's so touching. And I know I'm not here.

One of my roles, which I'm very,

I stay in my lane because I do. It's their stories.

It's not mine. And I don't tell their stories without permission.

And they do. And I love when they tell them,

but I know their stories because they've shared them and I've seen people come

in our door and I know them and I get to be,

know them as human beings and I know their backstory.

and get to meet their families.

I had a situation just recently where one of our members

was not having a good day and came to club

and said, "I need some assistance."

And we're like, "We help that individual

"get to that assistance."

'Cause we were his working family.

Well, later on, the family circled back and said,

"Thank you."

And it wasn't just, "Oh, thank you."

It was so moving that the club was there.

And I'm like, yes, Clubhouse works,

doesn't work for everybody, right?

But for those who do use it, people grow.

And I go back to Elkhart County,

take a hard look of the people who make up Elkhart County

and particularly in, I don't want everyone

to put down Napanee or some of the other small,

'cause we are all in this together, right?

But Goshen has a clubhouse.

It was the first clubhouse in the county.

They were known as the Elkhart County Clubhouse.

And they said, "Eventually Elkhart will get one."

Well, it took a pandemic to help bring us out,

but we arrived.

Now, Port Dale is a clubhouse in-

- Downtown Goshen.

- Oh yeah, and they're top shelf.

I think they're in their 12th year.

And we are just blessed,

but it goes back to Elkhart County and the soil being rich.

Okay, keep going.

Yeah, well, I think that that goes to speak like just being the way that the Alkotney

Foundation comes in and says, you guys have a spirit and a feeling of hope and community

and like all of that stuff.

Like that just kind of goes to say, like, yeah, you are legit, right?

You're not just manufacturing this to to manufacture it like like that's something that you can't

manufacture and yeah, to see that come through it, it rubs off and it gives that sense of

community for those who are involved with the club also.

Like you said, you know, that's that's what you exist for.

So and I would say so, Francis, the other

I mean, the question, the question I have is because we're talking about all these

great positive things that happen.

There's challenges at Lexington House as well.

I'm just as a leader myself of an organization,

a nonprofit work, I can just generally say that to be true.

But but you know what what are the what are the challenges I mean from your seat specifically leading the organization

and

Thinking man if I had a magic wand, you know to you know, and you and you could address those challenges

Overnight and fix them. I'm sure I'm sure you would but what like what?

What are the sticking points for you in the in the job in the work? Like what concerns you? What do you what do you see?

organizationally that you're like I would I would you would hope

And from a perspective of like calling other people in our community to action to a point

To sort of make the club to tell and take the club to its next chapter to its next level to

Improve it in some sort of way. What what are the challenges?

Sustainability. Yeah, number one. Yeah, I mean I

Come from the school that the challenges are really the journey

And so we started in a pandemic.

Our resiliency is how a resolve was built.

So the challenge only makes us stronger,

but without the support of our partnerships,

and we have great partnership and we have great donors.

I mean, just when, you know, finance,

without financing, it is challenging, right?

I mean, without financing,

you're not gonna keep the doors open.

you can't have full staff.

So Clubhouse Lexington, I'll speak for Lexington House

'cause it's a business.

Our budget I just talked about.

So one third of the budget is about grant.

So we have good grant writing, right?

Better than good is about 100,000 plus in grant writing,

but you have no guarantees.

And there's change in currents in grant writing, right?

Then there's fundraising.

We have the Monarch Gala,

which we started growing the garden here in Goshen,

but now it's at the Crystal Ballroom downtown in Elkhart.

- Date and time for next gala?

- It is February 7th,

and I brought you a handout for that.

- Beautiful.

- You know, side note,

to run a non-profit and do a fundraiser,

you know how many fundraisers there are?

- A lot, a lot, a lot.

- So we hit a kind of a blind spot in fundraising.

We didn't know it at first,

but then eventually we're like,

hey, this is gonna work,

and we're sticking with it.

day before the Super Bowl, there's only one other game in town, it's the spa.

They do a huge fundraiser, eight, 900 people go and it's out at the RV Hall of Fame.

And we like spa, we coordinate.

We're the other game because we're at the downtown at the Crystal Ballroom.

So between the two of us, we're the two biggies on that particular day, day before the Super

Bowl, where people are kind of saying, we're ready to go.

We got some energy.

So it's been nice. We've also created a second

Fundraiser and

Because we can we've maturing as a business and we said so what can rival the crystal ballroom down

There and being part of the hundred-year anniversary and all that piece down town Elkhart

Well feel purdana gardens. Mm-hmm. Well, which if you haven't been to Wellfield, I've done two events there here recently

I'm like, this is a gem. This place is, it's absolutely fantastic. And,

and I haven't even quite honestly,

I haven't even been there in the best part,

like in the summer when everything is like a wow, like that alone. So absolutely.

It really is. And we have a partnership with them.

We've developed it and our second fundraiser is in late

summer, early fall. It's called Flutter Fest. Wow.

And we had this awesome band that came up,

They just happened to be in Indiana and they were in just below Indianapolis

doing a tour and our one person on our board says,

cause he's in the music industry and said, Hey, we made a connection.

They were willing to drive up and do the gig.

We're like, yes.

And they just rocked it.

They were music from the 1980s.

So you guys were probably not born in the 80s.

We were both alive in the 80s.

Andy was more alive in the 80s.

I was born in 79, the very last half of 79.

But I was born in 70.

So your family may have played some music in the 80s, right?

For us who grew up in the 80s, it was like,

these people get it and they rocked it. And that's the beautiful,

um, stage system they have now at the Pretend Accordance.

It is rivals anything you see in Chicago or any very large cities.

So kudos to them. So we're planning to have another one. Beautiful.

So fundraising, grant writing, and then we have, um,

straight up donations, our donation window starts with a

massive car, Christmas card that we send out, not the card of being massive,

but mailing for about 400 of our community. Just give them update where we're at.

We have an insert, which you'll see later for those out there saying it's,

go to our website. You can see it.

And it gives you information about the clubhouse as a QR code.

I love these little QR squares, like just put your card, bang, you're there,

as well as for the gala. And we just remind people, thank you.

We don't ask, we just say we're out here,

and if you want to know more about us, please visit us.

So we start in November and we finish it out in February.

- Real quick, let me interrupt you.

Can you give the website so the people listening

can go right to it?

- I can.

- Okay.

- Would you like me to do it now?

- I would love you to do it.

- God, you're fun.

Lexingtonhouse.org.

- Yeah, that's easy.

- I thought so.

I didn't come up with it, one of the members did,

and they did all the back work to get all that.

I'm like, you guys are really smart.

And they are.

- They're a club.

- Yep.

- Right, so financials, you get a big challenge, right?

Small day-to-day challenges.

There are challenges that periodically come on at club.

The nice thing is, just like normal families

or work environments, we sort it out.

If someone's not having a good day, we sort it out.

Dignity is part of our mission statement

and people know that and we work it.

And so, overall, I would say Lexington House,

as a culture of kindness, I'll validate what I heard

from our guests, Kevin Deary from the Community Foundation

of Elkhart County would say, "Francis, culture of kindness,

you guys do it."

I'm like, "We do."

That doesn't mean there's not challenges.

And then there's the day-to-day challenges.

Give an example.

We're in a major renovation at the Clubhouse, right?

We have two bathrooms.

That was the first thing I said

I said, we need two bathrooms.

And one of them really has to be ADA.

So I get in there and we only had two weeks,

three weeks before we had to leave our lease

at River Life and things are getting really tight.

And I'm like, how do we, we're going in the mini.

(laughing)

So I'm doing, and we'll talk about transport.

How are we doing on time?

I know we're good.

All right.

So I'm driving down Hively to go pick up people in our room.

We do like an eight block run of our van

and only in the morning and then in the evening.

And if they want to go home, they can walk or they can Uber

or they can take the trolley 'cause there's trolley spots.

Anyway, I see this Bradley sign right outside

of Holmes Insurance, right next to Wendy's.

I'm like, I've never seen that building before.

It just disappears.

But there was this huge Bradley sign.

I'm like, I'm going to call.

So person, Bradley wasn't available.

I went right to the owner.

Never happens in real estate.

We closed in 30 days.

- Amazing. - Right?

That's how grace moves through.

And this is the story of Lexington House.

People ask, "You're not on Lexington House.

"You're not on Lexington Boulevard.

"How'd that happen?

"What's that all about?"

I'll tell you that in a minute if you like,

but back to the first piece,

Lexington House is the grace that goes through

the people who make up Lexington House.

It is not me or the board.

It is all of us, and it starts with the members,

and it really starts with the soil of Elkhart County.

- That's amazing, yeah.

So, when talking about Lexington House

with our community members, I think,

I mean, the things that I'm hearing are,

number one, people should come and take a tour.

- At least take a tour.

- Take a tour and see.

I've been through one clubhouse over in South Bend.

I've gotten a tour there,

And I need to make more Lexington House.

I should say, 'cause I will be at the Monarch Gala

on February 7th, and I'm really excited to see the event.

And I might, I'm also donning some special attire.

I'm zeroing in.

- Now you're picking my interests.

- Yeah, because, well, the Monarch Gala,

it's a butterfly theme, and I--

- So you're coming as a butterfly?

- You nailed it, Andy, way to go.

(Andy laughs)

Way to go.

I mean, sorry, I spoiled it.

- Cats out of the bag.

But I'm gonna be there, I'm really, really excited.

But there's, 'cause the thing we wanna do

is we just wanna invite people,

any interaction they can have,

any exposure to Lexington House,

just to get a flavor for it, to see it, to feel it.

'Cause I think once you do experience it,

it's not something that leaves you easily.

I think it makes a pretty consistent impact.

Culture-wise, kind of what you formed.

But yeah, that's what we want to encourage people toward is just take a look.

Maybe you know somebody that could really benefit from entering into that community

and entering that experience.

Maybe you are somebody who are like, "Hey, I've been looking for a nonprofit to support

and I've got money burning a hole in my pocket."

I know all of you are there, especially right after the holidays, you're just flush with

extra cash.

You know, any number of ways, kind of providing sustaining support financially or, you know,

with other resources is, and I should ask, apart from the financial piece, are there

other like on like donation wise or other like tasks or things that can be done that

that can be volunteered at the Lexington house?

So Clubhouses, Lexington falls into that umbrella, is a unique nonprofit.

We don't do volunteers.

Because if the work can be done, it can be done by the members of the college.

However, there is one carve out.

So for the people out there in the audience listening, our board members are all volunteer.

And we are currently looking for at least one position, possibly two.

Our board is 13, we are at 10.

And on our board, which is very common in clubhouses, two members sit on the board.

We have one vacancy, we'll be filling from that piece.

But also think about that.

It's their club, they have a right to be on the board and they're voting member.

Isn't that cool?

- That's awesome.

Love that.

So if Elkhart's too far, I'm always going to push off with Cordell.

For us to take the routes that we have, we had to lean to SJC St.

Joe County Clubhouse, which I worked there a whole year prior to coming over

here because I wanted to learn the clubhouse model.

And I did, and I had really good mentors there.

But Rich and Erich, Rich Meyer, who was the founding director and just recently

retired, but Richard will always be part of their fabric and Erich who's now the director.

Cordell House, just go for a visit. It's not for everybody. But people say, what do you do here?

Come on in, you'll figure it out. It may be for you, may not be for you.

Yeah, that's awesome. So I guess, you know, when we're, when we're talking about

Lexington House, we're talking about your experience.

What has your engagement with Lexington House, how has it changed you personally as a leader?

What would you say is the presiding impact for you personally?

So I'm coming up on 38 years as a social worker, professional social worker.

And where I am in my career, people say, well, you're in the back half.

I've had some great people who have mentored me, who are now have moved on to

reinventing themselves. So they're teaching me reinvent yourself.

I work primarily on high acuity.

That means when people get really ill and how it impacts it all.

I've had the privilege of working as the gatekeeper to the state hospital system

from Oakland. I worked with CIT, a crisis intervention team,

help develop that system with people who now have taken it to a whole different

level with first response.

A lot of that takes out out of you a little bit, right?

But to be at a clubhouse, it re-energizes my spirit.

Like when I took note and I've learned to smell the roses and take a moment to

be in the moment and at Christmas and New Year's,

I took that and I just sucked it in. I said,

we have built something really good here.

And it's been echoed by a few people who have said that back to me and saying,

this is why it was, I'm like, it goes through us. It is not us.

It goes through us. And I'm like,

as long as I can continue doing this,

we just finished up doing our strategic plan and succession planning because,

you know, shelf life of a director, you put a lot out there,

but eventually you got to say, uh, shelf life's over.

But we are working on developing some for the next generation.

The big challenge, sustainability,

which I said earlier in this conversation,

is that the real proof of our leadership is not now,

it will be after us.

Trees being planted, not for our shade.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well said.

Well, you know, Andy,

we can't let any guest finish up an interview

without a really special segment we like to call.

And now it's time for the dudes and dads pop quiz.

Thank you so much.

So, Francis, as I tried to warn you about earlier,

this is a section of our show where we ask random questions.

Perfect. So random. I have a whole deck.

You actually have a deck.

Yeah, bringing a real deck.

Got an actual deck.

And you know what?

To start this one off, I'm going to ask Mark, our production assistant here.

He actually has a mic this time.

So welcome Mark ask your question.

Hi Mark, go for it.

So I pulled a card from the deck and it was not good enough.

Oh, okay.

So the random question is.

I love it.

He's gone in typical dudes and dads podcast form.

He's gone off the rails already.

He's making his own trail.

I'm excited.

Here we go.

Okay.

If Abraham Lincoln was your brother, what would you guys do for fun?

Okay.

Okay

Probably go fishing. Yeah boy. All right. I bet it was into some fishing. He's an Indiana could guarantee, Illinois boy

He knows some fishing guarantee sure fantastic

Yes, Francis my question to you if you were to have a sandwich named after you what is on that sandwich? Oh

Boy

It's really interesting. You brought that up because at club I have hummus on a pita bread

That's that's that's what I get okay

Because my goal for me is that I want to make the hundred set be a hundred years old, okay?

I'm watching what I'm loading in now, so what would be named?

Probably a hundred century okay, so okay, it's the hundred century sub

I want to say by the way I believe he

In all of our guests and we've asked this question many a times the sandwich question comes up frequently

I want to say that Francis is the first time to ever mention hummus

I believe so.

So congratulations. I did it first. Yeah, you've introduced Thomas into the conversation.

What is your favorite gadget?

My favorite gadget?

That's a really good question. I'm really into tools, so I gotta say a crowbar. Okay, it's amazing what one can do with a crowbar.

I'm with you.

The number of times I've been like if I just had a crowbar

For sure that's happened

Hey, we want to let's you know what mark asked a fantastic question time around we're gonna have another shot

We're gonna see if we can up the weirdness on this one mark. What's your next question?

We threw him off the deep breath

You gotta figure that can you have to give me a minute

What are you most excited about right now? Ooh?

Most excited about right now

Being here with you all past my bedtime. I think a lot of fun nicely done at 5 a.m.

The morrow morning when I'm in the pool. I'll be thinking about you guys. I may even give you a call all right

Hey, okay. Here's mine

Francis because I almost did some research on you and not in a creepy way you are a runner. I know this

Favorite running shoe. What do you go to Oh Brooks? I've been in a plus 25

Do you know Marcus is?

Mark first of all mark. No, thanks mark. Are you a runner? I am not a runner not even I'm barely a walker I

Did in fact work at a sporting goods store, okay, okay, then the shoe section, okay?

I have I've done some research Brooks your that's I

Was shelf I was recommended

And it was recommended to me a while ago as a larger individual, the Brooks Beast does

pretty well for the bigger runners if I understand correctly.

You wouldn't be wrong.

Okay, well confirmed.

Okay, Brooks it is.

Okay.

Mark, are you ready yet?

I'm ready.

All right, go for it, Mark.

What is in the backseat of your vehicle?

Cleanliness.

Oh.

Oh.

It's one of the upsides of being OCD, one of my characteristics, not knowing who I am

but what I do.

My kids just drive me crazy.

Can they get in dad?

You have this car, it's a 2008 Rondo and it's clean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cleanliness.

He said that's what's in the back of his seat.

I love me.

Yeah, me too.

Sure.

Sure.

As well.

Yeah.

Five kids.

I probably was a whistle.

I could put a whole, a whole bag of fries together.

I may have a person living in the backseat of my, I don't know.

We wouldn't know.

We wouldn't know for days.

OCD not one of my strong suits.

Yeah, fantastic.

All right, Francis, what's the best piece of advice that you've ever been given?

Ooh, there's one.

That's a really good one, right?

Be in the moment, obviously, is one.

The other one is respect your elders.

That's the only way you become one.

Oh, nice.

Nice. It sounds like a threat.

Like, it's the only way that you're going to become one is if you respect them.

Well, they they know things that you want to learn and they're forgetting things.

And I want to learn from them.

And I have learned some great teachers have shown me how to reinvent,

how to move it forward.

You talked about running really quick piece. I mean.

You really get humbled when you get passed by

because like in triathlon, I do tries.

People have their numbers on how old you are in the back.

And, you know, I was in my forties and I'm like, well, look at me.

I'm up in Madison doing a piece.

And this individual came by and I'm like, hey, we only have,

you know, two more laps, two more, you know, six point whatever mile

to go around. We're done.

She goes, Sonny, I'm done.

And then she went by. She was like sixty five in the back.

Oh, man. I'm like, well, I just got humbled.

And that's what I love about the sport, because it's all right.

And anyway, yeah, that was, she has a lot to teach me.

That's awesome.

Joel, you got one? Are you good?

Um, I'm well, gosh, let's, let's end with a really pro let's end with really a

really profound one. Uh, Francis,

what do you want said about you at your funeral?

Give the cliche that I ended up ended on E but, um,

Made a contribution that the world is a better place, but when I contribute it.

Beautiful.

Love it.

Wonderful.

You've successfully passed the quiz.

Way to go, Frances.

Nailed it.

And I will say, Mark, I like this dynamic, man.

Because it's like, Annie and I kind of know the sort of questions we ask, but we added

an element here that we didn't even know what was going to happen.

Total dudes and dads fashion it all it all came together, so thanks everybody hey everybody we want to say a big

Thank you again for tuning in you can head over to dudes and dads

calm for

Previous episodes this episodes show notes will have all of the Lexington house details over there at dudes and dads calm

Upcoming events ways you can connect would love love love love for you check that out

What else Andy you can call our voicemail number?

7 4 5 0 1 4 4 6 7 and leave us a voicemail

You won't wake us up at 5 when you call us. Let's call that number tomorrow. Yeah

Dudes and dads podcast at gmail.com is the email address where you can contact us with further show notes ideas pithy comments harsh rebukes

Whatever you're in the mood for whatever whatever yeah, okay? Well hey friends. Thanks for tuning in for yet another episode

It's gonna be a great 2026. I'm excited about this coming year me too good things are

ahead. So, until we see you next time, friends, we wish you grace and peace.