About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Psychoherapist. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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In this episode of "Words of Wisdom," we look at the simple compounding power of small practices. Consistent, small practices lead to powerful results over time. We will explore the value of small practices and consider a few practical examples.

Links

WoW 065: On devotion to a practice

WoW 078: On developing a thinking practice (part 5 – knowledge workers series)

Reading more books

The importance of talking about your feelings

WoW 080: On consistency in your practice

Focusing your time

Robert Greene, Mastery​

Ryan Holiday, Discipline is Destiny​

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Support the podcast

Words of wisdom.

98.

On small practices meaningful action.

Part five.

You could think of your life as a set of small interconnected practices.

How you wake up, how you transition to start work, how you take intentional

breaths, how you read and how you learn, how you choose entertainment,

to what degree and when, how you plan.

The list goes on and on.

Each of these are skills that you can develop to grow in meaningful action.

Identify a small practice that you want to grow in.

Make that practice as small as possible.

You can make a practice small by setting a time limit.

For example, I will meditate three minutes a day.

I will take 10 intentional breaths before starting each meeting.

This is just one minute of intentional breathing, but it can make you more

thoughtful and calm in a meeting.

Another example, I will read at least one page a day from my book.

One page can turn into 10 or 60 minutes.

Consistently reading more books is a simple and powerful way to grow, or

you could make your practice small by focusing on the smallest micro

skill of a larger set of skills.

For example, I will practice focusing on listening to the feeling

words, people communicate or imply.

It's an easy thing to do if you're mindful of it.

Once you start to make this a regular practice and can easily identify the

feeling words people use, you can add in additional communication, micro skills.

A small practice or skill helps you because it makes it more likely

that you'll show up and showing up is necessary to develop a habit.

And practicing a habit is necessary to develop mastery.

So how do you grow in a skill?

Identify the sub skills that make up that skill.

Practice each one intentionally.

With a small focus, you'll identify more clearly what goes well and what doesn't.

As you progress, you'll be encouraged by the improvements.

The more you enjoy the process, the more you'll keep doing it.

It can be quite helpful to track your progress, whether that's journaling

about it, talking to a friend regularly, or tracking whether you

do or don't do the practice each day.

Once you engage in a small skill consistently and without too

much effort, progress to another

build on these small skills intentionally, and you'll develop

the larger skillset over time.

Quotes,

first two quotes by Robert Green in his book, mastery.

You must convince yourself of the following.

People get the mind and quality of brain that they deserve

through their actions in life.

The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.

Aristotle described virtue as a kind of craft.

Something to pursue just as one pursues the mastery of any profession or skill.

Quote, we become builders by building and we become harpists

by playing the harp he wrote.

Similarly, then we become just by doing just actions temperate

by doing temperate actions.

Brave by doing brave actions.

Virtue is something we do.

It's something we choose not once.

For Hercules, crossroads was not a singular event.

It's a daily challenge.

One, we face not once, but constantly, repeatedly.

Will we be selfish or selfless?

Brave or afraid, strong or weak, wise or stupid?

Will we cultivate a good habit or a bad one?

Courage or cowardice?

The bliss of ignorance or the challenge of a new idea?

Stay the same or grow the easy way or the right way?

By Ryan Holiday in his book, discipline is Destiny.

Questions.

What 10 minute or less practice can you develop into a habit that will

have a compounding impact on your life?

What skill do you want to grow in and what are a handful of micro skills that you can

identify that make up part of that larger skillset, which will you start practicing?

End note.

Being intentional about growing in and practicing small skills is essential

to being on the path to mastery and living with meaningful action.

Live wisely, Josh.

Pss.

Share what skill you're working on with me and with one other friend.