Money, Divorce & Living Your Best Life | Financial Wisdom with Kathleen Judge
Divorce, finances, and living your best life—financial planning is about more than money. In this episode of Doing Life Different, host Lesa Koski sits down with financial advisor Kathleen Judge to talk about money, divorce recovery, and creating a life aligned with your values.
Whether you’re navigating finances during divorce, looking to get more involved in money decisions, or simply wanting clarity on your financial future, Kathleen shares practical steps and empowering truths to help you take charge.
Through her personal journey of adoption, homeschooling, entrepreneurship, and an unexpected divorce, Kathleen offers real stories and strategies for women who want to feel confident, secure, and purposeful with their finances.
(00:00) Introduction and welcome to Kathleen Judge
(02:15) Why finances are deeply personal and tied to values
(06:42) Kathleen’s background and becoming a financial advisor
(12:08) Adoption, homeschooling, and trusting God through challenges
(18:50) Divorce, unexpected transitions, and financial fears
(24:20) Reclaiming financial confidence and setting boundaries
(29:45) Helping women become active partners in money decisions
(34:30) Marriage, money, and the importance of open conversations
(41:00) Advice for young couples navigating today’s economy
(46:15) Why knowing what you truly want changes everything
(50:02) Closing encouragement and next steps
Kathleen Judge is a Financial Advisor with Edward Jones, dedicated to helping clients make smart, values-based financial decisions. With a background in digital marketing, entrepreneurship, adoption, and homeschooling, Kathleen brings both professional expertise and personal wisdom. After navigating an unexpected divorce, she now empowers women and families to create financial strategies that support their goals and reflect what matters most.
Kathleen.judge@edwardjones.com
314-856-9653
www.edwardjones.com/kathleen-judge
kathleenjudgestl
financial planning for women, money after divorce, divorce finances, kathleen judge financial advisor, money mindset for women, women and wealth, financial confidence after divorce, doing life different podcast, lesa koski podcast, christian financial advice, values based financial planning, women over 40 money, estate planning and divorce, healing through finances
Welcome listeners.
2
:I am happy that you're here and I'm so,
I feel so grateful that Kathleen Judge.
3
:Took some time to come
on doing life different.
4
:And Kathleen is a new friend of mine.
5
:I know a little bit about her, but
she's gonna share her authentic story.
6
:And what we're ladies, what we're
talking about today is finances.
7
:And I know don't turn this off
because sometimes when I hear that
8
:I wanna turn up, but it's more.
9
:It's more than that.
10
:You know, this podcast is about helping
you through hard times and I know
11
:Kathleen, in my own journey, I've had to,
to do a lot of work in the finance area
12
:of kind of being like a believable thought
of, I am a woman learning about finances
13
:and that's why I've got you on today.
14
:Because whether you are.
15
:Going through a divorce, and I know
Kathleen will share her story about
16
:that, or you just want to be more
involved in the finances, or maybe
17
:you're on your own and you're like,
what should I be doing with my money?
18
:So this is kind of for everyone.
19
:So Kathleen, absolutely.
20
:Thank you for being here and welcome.
21
:Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much, Lisa.
22
:It really is an honor to be here.
23
:I love your podcast.
24
:It's so uplifting and such a
great way to help people who
25
:are going through hard times.
26
:We need each other, we need
to lean on each other and, and
27
:help each other through that.
28
:So I'm, I'm really honored to be here
and, and share my story and, and I
29
:certainly hope that, uh, it helps.
30
:Some of your listeners,
31
:Speaker: I know that it will, so you just
share, tell us what, what your story is.
32
:Speaker 2: Yeah.
33
:Okay.
34
:Well, um, I'll, I'll try to
get, there's of course a long,
35
:uh, medium and a short version.
36
:Speaker: We're good with
whatever you just go.
37
:Speaker 2: Okay.
38
:So, I am a financial advisor
with Edward Jones and my focus is
39
:really helping people make smart
financial decisions so that they can.
40
:Lead their very best lives, meaning
they're able to take care of themselves,
41
:their family, and their loved ones, the
way that they really want to be able to
42
:take care of them, and that includes.
43
:Of course investment management.
44
:It also includes, um, ensuring
that we're mitigating taxes, um,
45
:ensuring that we have an estate plan
so that your heirs are taken care
46
:of, the way they should be includes
protecting your wealth so that if you.
47
:If you do go through a divorce or
litigation that your wealth is protected.
48
:So it's, it's really all encompassing.
49
:Uh, it's, it's very
comprehensive, I should say.
50
:And that's just to kinda level set
to give your audience a feel for,
51
:for what I do on a, on a daily basis.
52
:Speaker: Well, and Kathleen, as
you're, you're talking through this,
53
:it kind of hit me over the head.
54
:It really is.
55
:You really need to have someone
to talk this through with.
56
:Because it's very personal.
57
:It is very right, very personal.
58
:It's so dependent on what
you value and what you want.
59
:So, and if I can tell this audience, if
there is anything that I can help you with
60
:today, one thing that has changed my life.
61
:Is knowing what I want.
62
:And if you can know what you want for your
future in your finances, when you go in to
63
:meet with Kathleen or a financial advisor,
I just think that's gonna be so amazing.
64
:Speaker 2: I love that
so much, Lisa, because.
65
:People think of financial advisors
as just investment consultants, and
66
:I think of it very, very differently.
67
:My goal is to help my clients really
dig deep and articulate and identify
68
:what are the things that make them tick.
69
:Mm-hmm.
70
:Why is it that they want to
help a child with a certain.
71
:Project or have leaves a
certain kind of legacy.
72
:'cause once you are able to articulate
those deep values and that deep sense
73
:of worth, then we can put together
some really exciting financial
74
:strategies that bring it to life.
75
:And that's what.
76
:That's what our finances are for, are
for helping us live our best lives
77
:with no matter how much we have.
78
:Yeah.
79
:Yeah.
80
:So I love that.
81
:Speaker: And, okay.
82
:And so here's another thing that I
caught about you is that you went through
83
:something difficult and learned from it.
84
:Yeah.
85
:And it led you to do this work.
86
:So now I gotta jump into
what is your authentic story?
87
:Speaker 2: Yeah.
88
:Okay.
89
:So I, uh, start, I, I, as I mentioned,
I'm with Edward Jones and I started with
90
:Edward Jones way back in the nineties.
91
:At that time, I was a kind of a digital
marketing pioneer, and, uh, they brought
92
:me in to build the very first website.
93
:And it was a great, it was
just a, a fantastic project.
94
:I, I.
95
:Was able to get a bird's eye view of the
company in a really short period of time
96
:because every part of the organization
is represented on the website.
97
:And so I just fell in love with the
company and I really felt comfortable with
98
:their values and the way that, uh, they
really do put clients' interests first.
99
:Certainly not perfect.
100
:Uh, by any stretch.
101
:But, um, but I fell in love with that.
102
:And so, um, so I was there
for several years and then we
103
:adopted twins from Ukraine.
104
:Speaker: Oh wow.
105
:And
106
:Speaker 2: yeah.
107
:And so I really wanted to just go
to like 30, 25 or 30 hours a week,
108
:but back then it was all or none.
109
:And so I made the choice to, um, to
do something different and we owned a
110
:construction company and so I helped
run the construction company and,
111
:and raised the kids of course, and
did other consulting on the side and.
112
:I ended up, but my, my children
went to, uh, I guess kindergarten.
113
:Yeah, kindergarten.
114
:And, um, it was a disaster for
both of them for different reasons.
115
:My daughter had learning disabilities.
116
:She ended kindergarten hating school.
117
:My son had some, um, physical things
going on that they weren't able to help
118
:with, and he ended kindergarten hating
school and it just broke my heart.
119
:Those early years are really, the
purpose is to instill a love of
120
:learning, and so we took a step back
and it was actually my husband who
121
:said, Kathleen, I think you should
homeschool until we find the right place.
122
:And I was like.
123
:What You are crazy.
124
:I am no more meant to,
I am a corporate woman.
125
:I am not meant to homeschool.
126
:And um, so he was like, well, just
think about it and pray about it.
127
:And so two weeks later.
128
:I was just absolutely, you know, God had,
I felt like he was telling me, he gave
129
:me the green light and that, so I had
a 180 turnaround and I was like, okay,
130
:Speaker: I
131
:Speaker 2: wanna
132
:Speaker: homeschool.
133
:Okay, Kathleen, I love you so much.
134
:I knew this was gonna be
good for so many reasons.
135
:So I also, I adopted my baby.
136
:Aw.
137
:So, yeah, I have two older ones,
and then we adopted our baby.
138
:I too homeschooled for a short period
of time, and my daughter will tell you,
139
:no child should be homeschooled by me
because I really took it seriously.
140
:But Kathleen, you, there's so
many cool things about you.
141
:For one, back in the nineties
you were designing a website.
142
:Lady, you are cutting edge because
I'm remembering the nineties.
143
:I don't even know if I had a computer.
144
:Oh,
145
:Speaker 2: we, we made the news.
146
:We
147
:Speaker: did.
148
:That's so awesome.
149
:Oh gosh.
150
:So awesome.
151
:Okay, so let's keep going
on this journey here.
152
:So, and I know, so I only did
homeschooling for one semester
153
:and it was because we were
transition transitioning schools.
154
:I kind of didn't know what to do.
155
:Um, I have a dear friend.
156
:Who was like, I can hardly read a book.
157
:And she felt God calling her to
homeschool and she did an amazing job.
158
:Oh.
159
:But it was hard.
160
:It was very hard, you know, was like,
this isn't really what I want to do, but
161
:this is what I am being called to do.
162
:So God bless you and Okay, keep going.
163
:Speaker 2: Well, the, the, the
best way that he has ever kept me
164
:on my knees, God has kept me on
my knees, is through homeschool.
165
:Lemme tell you, by far the
hardest job I've ever had.
166
:Yeah.
167
:But I, I went into it thinking,
okay, it is just gonna be a year,
168
:and we'll find the right spot.
169
:Mm-hmm.
170
:Well, one year turned into
two, turn it to three.
171
:Turned into four and pretty
soon we finished eighth grade.
172
:Speaker: Wow.
173
:Speaker 2: Yay.
174
:And so, um, it was a fantastic
experience and I have, of course, so
175
:much I could say we could do a whole
176
:Speaker: podcast on that.
177
:Speaker 2: Podcast was just on that.
178
:Yes.
179
:Um, well, and
180
:Speaker: Kathleen, I think that back in
the day when you were doing it, it wasn't.
181
:So widely accepted.
182
:No.
183
:You were like, I was kind of a weirdo.
184
:I've been known as a weirdo 'cause
I can just fly around, but it's like
185
:God will put something in my heart.
186
:Yeah.
187
:And I just can't not do it.
188
:Yeah.
189
:Right.
190
:You know?
191
:Well,
192
:Speaker 2: and, and with in my situation,
you know, both my kids had some issues
193
:and so my daughter with these significant
learning disabilities, very intelligent.
194
:Mm-hmm.
195
:Just these significant learning
disabilities and she just.
196
:The public school system was not a fit.
197
:The private school system was not a fit.
198
:And then the homeschool curriculum
is really meant for people like me.
199
:I learn, you know, like I, I, I test fine.
200
:I can memorize stuff, right?
201
:You know, gimme a worksheet and I'm happy.
202
:But that is not her.
203
:And so.
204
:God put in my path, a gentleman who
spent his entire career in education.
205
:He had a PhD in elementary education
and he retired and had a heart for
206
:children who were being homeschooled
with learning disabilities.
207
:Ugh.
208
:I know, right?
209
:Yeah.
210
:And so, I mean, how many, how many
people are like that in the world?
211
:Like he's probably the only one.
212
:And so we traded, um, he did all
of my consulting for the kids
213
:education, and I did his marketing.
214
:And it was fantastic and I just saw
so much growth in my kids and, um, it,
215
:it was just a fantastic experience.
216
:Um, but kind of fast forward,
if you will, to, um,:
217
:I very unexpectedly got divorced.
218
:Um, uh, yeah, I, I, and I know
people say, you know, if you look
219
:back, you can always see the signs,
you can always see it coming.
220
:And I have just looked under every
rock and crevice of my memory and
221
:I really did not see it coming.
222
:Um, but anyway, um.
223
:So we divorced in 20.
224
:So you're homeschooling
these kids, you're Yeah.
225
:You're doing the marketing and trade.
226
:Yeah.
227
:So I've been, I've been outta the
workforce now for at least 12 years, man.
228
:And, um, yeah, and, and suddenly
responsible for mine and my
229
:children's futures, which I'm gonna
230
:Speaker: guess, I'm sorry to
interrupt, but I'm gonna guess it's
231
:not something that you want it.
232
:You know, or something that
you would've picked maybe so.
233
:Speaker 2: So it's kind of interesting
because when we got married right outta
234
:college, and I always had the aptitude
for finances from when I was very young.
235
:I knew how to save and
I knew how to spend.
236
:It just came naturally
to me and I enjoyed that.
237
:However, our marriage
just didn't work that way.
238
:Um, my husband made the decisions
and I, I, I think I would've,
239
:well, I know I would've preferred
to have been much more involved.
240
:And looking back now, I see how
much power I gave up by not really
241
:inserting myself and, um, and making
sure that, that my priorities and
242
:my values were being represented.
243
:So.
244
:So when we got divorced, I
was, you know, of course I, um.
245
:Felt terrible.
246
:I don't know.
247
:Do you remember, um, a
Saturday Night Live character?
248
:Um, the, uh, the big guy who, um,
had this skit where he's like, I
249
:live in a van down by the river.
250
:And that's what I had pictured in
my mind is, oh my gosh, we're gonna
251
:end up living in a van by the river.
252
:No, but you know, I mean, you, your
mind goes to crazy places, but I,
253
:I knew I could pull it together.
254
:I knew I, I was capable and
I also knew I needed help.
255
:Yep.
256
:I could not do it on my own.
257
:Speaker: Well, and Kathleen, I gotta
stop you for a second because as you're
258
:talking about this, I'm thinking about
yes, this is for people who are going
259
:through a divorce and afraid because they
don't know what to do with their money.
260
:But it's also for all of
us who are in marriage.
261
:Oh, absolutely.
262
:And.
263
:What I am have been learning,
which is, you know, painful to
264
:my husband probably a little bit,
is how to set these boundaries.
265
:Mm-hmm.
266
:Um, you know, I, I wanna be involved.
267
:Yeah.
268
:This is mine too.
269
:Yeah.
270
:So even though you probably
created way more, I mean the
271
:retirement plan, that's all him.
272
:But I was the one there.
273
:I mean, I would, I can't
imagine what I could have done
274
:with my life if I had a wife.
275
:Right, right.
276
:So I'm not, I'm not gonna
say that's not mine, but yes.
277
:But it, but still can
frustrate me, Kathleen.
278
:And so I need to, I need
to work through this.
279
:So I'm just gonna sit in the chair.
280
:I usually don't like to talk about things.
281
:I'm not healed over until I heal.
282
:And it's happening now.
283
:Let's heal.
284
:Let's heal together, let's heal.
285
:So one thing that can be tricky is.
286
:So I take care of all of our finances.
287
:Mm-hmm.
288
:But I can't.
289
:Call for any of the stocks or
the funding because it's all him.
290
:Mm-hmm.
291
:Mm-hmm.
292
:And he's so darn busy.
293
:It's not that he doesn't allow me to, but
he hasn't even done the paperwork to allow
294
:me to talk to people to get work done.
295
:Mm-hmm.
296
:Right.
297
:Frustrating.
298
:Speaker 2: Yes.
299
:So, and, and that is very common,
Lisa, and I find people coming to
300
:me, both male and female, and, and.
301
:With a whole range of
emotions around that.
302
:Some women feeling ashamed that
they don't know as much as they
303
:feel like they should know or they
don't know as much as their husband.
304
:And I just wanna say that is
not, there is no shame in not
305
:understanding financial strategies.
306
:You know, I don't know how to.
307
:Do surgery on myself and I, nobody
would expect me to know that.
308
:And for some reason our, our culture
and our society has kind of put this
309
:on women that we just don't know.
310
:And, and we, we don't need to
know and maybe we don't have an
311
:aptitude and, and so, you know, if
a financial advisor ever makes you
312
:feel like that, run the other way.
313
:Yeah.
314
:Um, and, and I have had multiple co
in fact, I think in the last year
315
:I've had three couples come to me
because the, the husband, well of
316
:course the wife was uncomfortable with
how their financial advisors were.
317
:The team was dealing with them.
318
:They were, you know,
ignoring her viewpoints, not.
319
:Not inquiring of her wants and wishes
speaking over her head intentionally.
320
:And the husband recognized that
this is not a good, this is not a
321
:good situation because he is gonna
pass before she does statistically,
322
:there's almost no way around it.
323
:He's gonna pass before she does, and
if she's not at least comfortable with
324
:her financial advisor, that's a whole.
325
:New layer of stress that you have to deal
with and your spouse has just passed.
326
:Yeah.
327
:And so they have come to me and said,
you know, the, the, in a couple cases, in
328
:two of the cases, the, the wife she'll,
you know, she'll come in and say, okay,
329
:I, I, I, I understand about, oh, maybe.
330
:You know, 25% of what you're saying.
331
:And I'm like, that's great.
332
:You know?
333
:Right.
334
:Stop me, ask me.
335
:Let's talk about this.
336
:And then over time they'll, they
learn more and more and become
337
:more and more comfortable.
338
:But I think more than anything, I.
339
:We build up trust.
340
:Yeah.
341
:To where both he and her, you know,
they both have trust in me that I
342
:am, I want what's best for them.
343
:I wanna know what they want and then
I wanna help put together financial
344
:strategies to help them get there.
345
:Right.
346
:Speaker: Well, and I, okay, so now I'm
kind of going back to how beautiful
347
:it was that that husband came to you.
348
:Yeah, and, but this is what I wanna say.
349
:Not everybody has that.
350
:No.
351
:It is rare.
352
:It's rare.
353
:It's rare.
354
:And we need to.
355
:We need to learn to do that for ourselves.
356
:Yes.
357
:Right?
358
:Yes,
359
:Speaker 2: I agree.
360
:So we
361
:Speaker: need to put your hand
on your chest and say, I am
362
:a woman learning finances.
363
:I am worthy, I am loved, I, I am.
364
:You know, create it for greatness.
365
:And you go into that financial planner
and you ask the questions, don't you know?
366
:Absolutely.
367
:You take some deep breaths so that you
can be in the framework where you're
368
:actually learning because you can learn
this and you wanna know what else.
369
:It's not that hard.
370
:Think, well, you know what?
371
:We can do hard things.
372
:We can do hard things.
373
:And I think the hardest
part of it is the shame.
374
:I think I felt so much shame.
375
:I don't know how to, I
don't know how to, right.
376
:Take care of finances.
377
:I'm not good at it.
378
:I just like to shop and
spend money or whatever.
379
:That's not true.
380
:That is not true.
381
:It's not true.
382
:No, no.
383
:No, it's not
384
:Speaker 2: at all.
385
:I, it's, it's a, it's an absolute lie.
386
:And I will also say I've done so
much research on women and finances
387
:and, uh, you know, one, one.
388
:Uh, fact that's really proven out
is that, um, is that women are loyal
389
:and they don't wanna rock the boat.
390
:And so we have a harder time saying
to our husbands, listen, I want
391
:in, I want in on our finances.
392
:And really forcing that.
393
:Hand, it can be very hard to
do and sometimes it, it does.
394
:It means, like with the three couples
I mentioned that came to me this year,
395
:it means a change of a financial team.
396
:Mm-hmm.
397
:Because, you know,
'cause the relationship.
398
:Should not just be with
one person in the marriage.
399
:The relationship needs to be with both.
400
:Speaker: Amen.
401
:And I feel so grateful I would work
with you if I didn't already have
402
:a friend that I was working with.
403
:And he is someone that I worked
with on mediations and liked him.
404
:And really, and believe it or not, we
never had a financial advisor, my husband,
405
:he wanted to do it all on his own.
406
:We really ended up not doing.
407
:As much planning as we
probably should have.
408
:I mean, he was real good about
putting the money away, so we're fine.
409
:I'm like, retire Johnny Cakes.
410
:It's be elaborate.
411
:But, so I feel extremely comfortable
with my financial advisor and I think
412
:there's something to be said for me
being the one to take the initiative.
413
:Mm-hmm.
414
:So I'm just gonna say, Kathleen, if
there are women out there and maybe
415
:you don't have an advisor yet, or
you're not liking yours, take the step.
416
:Reach out to Kathleen.
417
:Now I need, need to understand
you're in Missouri, is that right?
418
:I'm in.
419
:I'm in Wisconsin right now.
420
:Yeah, but I work in Minnesota.
421
:Do you work everywhere?
422
:Speaker 2: I do.
423
:I have.
424
:I have clients all over the
country, California, Colorado.
425
:Arizona, Florida.
426
:I, I, all over the country, I do take
clients, um, and serve clients everywhere.
427
:So geography is not really
a, a barrier these days.
428
:It's just not, which
I think is a blessing,
429
:Speaker: right?
430
:It's a
431
:Speaker 2: blessing.
432
:There's, in fact, my, my last
several referrals have been
433
:people who are outta state.
434
:So, you know, existing client that's
happy and they have referred someone
435
:that lives outta state and it works fine.
436
:Yeah, it's great.
437
:Yeah.
438
:Yeah.
439
:Speaker: Well, I mean, if you
think about it, I don't go into
440
:the office of my financial advisor.
441
:Right?
442
:You don't need to do that anymore.
443
:Speaker 2: No, you really don't.
444
:Uhuh.
445
:Speaker: Okay.
446
:That's awesome.
447
:And I just would, I mean, I
would recommend that people
448
:contact you, so we will have your
contact information That's great.
449
:In our show notes.
450
:But I have you have a little question
about, these are kind of different times.
451
:Um, and I wanna ask you for
your expert opinion mm-hmm.
452
:On things that we can be doing.
453
:And I gotta say this is, it's such
an odd time and I remember hearing
454
:when I was younger that this is the
first generation, our children mm-hmm.
455
:Are the first generation who will
not do as well as their parents.
456
:Right.
457
:That's hard because my son and
daughter-in-law have two babies.
458
:My.
459
:Oldest daughter is a medical
doctor and her husband's an
460
:engineer and they have a baby and.
461
:It's everything is different, the cost of
houses compared to what they're earning.
462
:Mm-hmm.
463
:And yet they strive to create
the life that they had, you know?
464
:Right.
465
:Or that their father was
able to provide to his.
466
:His children.
467
:And I gotta mention my Sophia,
my baby that I adopted by far.
468
:She's just in college now, having fun.
469
:So.
470
:Well, good for her.
471
:Yeah, she's good.
472
:So she's not so tied down with all this.
473
:She's still like, you know.
474
:Mm-hmm.
475
:Living in that not, that's
not reality yet, but that is,
476
:that is something that's real.
477
:And I can't imagine being back then.
478
:And feeling like you're working so
hard, but you can't give your children.
479
:Mm-hmm.
480
:Which we know that stuff isn't important.
481
:The main thing is the love,
the attention, the right.
482
:But what, what do people
do in this economy?
483
:What, what would you advise?
484
:Um, right.
485
:Speaker 2: So, excuse me.
486
:Um, first I wanna say one thing.
487
:I forget, and that is that for your
listeners today, if anyone wants.
488
:Me to do a stress test on their portfolio.
489
:I would be happy to do that.
490
:So I take a look at your finances and
put it through rigorous tests and say,
491
:okay, what parts of your finance of your.
492
:Strategies hold up under different types
of circumstances and, um, it's, it's
493
:just a, a treasure trove of information.
494
:So before I forget, I
wanna put that out there.
495
:Yeah.
496
:I appreciate that.
497
:Yes.
498
:Yeah.
499
:And then for the younger
generation, it is tough.
500
:My son and his wife are expecting,
and they have been looking for
501
:their first home, their starter
home, and they each time get outbid.
502
:Speaker: Well, and it's crazy because,
um, my daughter finished her residency
503
:and couldn't sell their home in Iowa City,
and so they couldn't buy anything here.
504
:So their, they had to rent.
505
:Right.
506
:And then.
507
:But now they're having trouble selling.
508
:It's a, it's a townhouse and they're
having trouble selling it, which you,
509
:when they came in like four years ago,
we had to, you know, they had to buy it
510
:sight unseen because things were flying.
511
:It's just, it's so crazy and dependent on.
512
:On, you know, what level of home
513
:Speaker 2: you're
514
:Speaker: looking
515
:Speaker 2: at?
516
:Yes.
517
:Well, so my overall advice for, for,
for that generation, and I think this
518
:goes for everyone, is again, going
back to having conversations with
519
:your spouse or if you're on your own
conversations with yourself about what.
520
:Are your priorities.
521
:Mm-hmm.
522
:What are your values around money?
523
:What are your values in your life?
524
:And then let yourself, you know,
let your mind just explore, okay,
525
:what are the things that are
really, really important to me?
526
:Mm-hmm.
527
:What are the things that I.
528
:When I leave this world,
what do I wanna be known for?
529
:Yes.
530
:What are the things that, when I am on my
deathbed, I wanna be grateful that I did?
531
:And so really thinking about life
in those, in those big, important.
532
:Ways, and then, and then you can
start to visualize it with goals.
533
:You can say, you know, whatever
that may be based on your values.
534
:Hmm.
535
:And based on your goals.
536
:And then, and then you can
put the financial strategies
537
:in place to get there.
538
:Yeah.
539
:And I, a, a young couple.
540
:They wanted to, they wanted to upsize.
541
:They, you know, are in the tiny
little house and they're gonna have
542
:some kids and they wanted to upsize.
543
:Well, after going through, um, some,
uh, I have an, uh, established process
544
:that I use, and after going through
this established process, they.
545
:Realized that their, her parents are in
Wisconsin and not healthy and they love
546
:Wisconsin, and the, the parents live on
a lake and that the most important thing
547
:to them right now is to have a place in
Wisconsin on the lake near her parents,
548
:and they still wanna footprint here in St.
549
:Louis.
550
:But it dramatically changed
what they had come in thinking
551
:that they were going to do.
552
:They were thinking, we're gonna sell
our house and buy a new big house.
553
:Mm-hmm.
554
:Instead they sold their house,
bought a smaller house, and then
555
:bought a lake house in Wisconsin.
556
:Um,
557
:Speaker: Kathleen, I love that.
558
:And you know what, you just beautifully
circled this whole conversation, kind of
559
:back to what we said at the beginning.
560
:You need to know what you want.
561
:Mm-hmm.
562
:Absolutely.
563
:And you know, we said that if
there's anything you get out of this.
564
:Sit down and think through.
565
:Yeah.
566
:And talk to your partner.
567
:Yeah.
568
:Um, about what do you really want.
569
:Yeah.
570
:And then you're ready.
571
:I love that you're ready to start
planning and moving forward.
572
:Mm-hmm.
573
:Speaker 2: And you know, a lot of that
turns into marriage counseling session.
574
:Yes.
575
:Amen.
576
:Yep.
577
:Yep.
578
:Which is great.
579
:That conversation, you know,
you do need to go through some
580
:tough conversations usually.
581
:Even know Kathleen,
and that's what I have.
582
:That's fine.
583
:Speaker: Yep.
584
:And what I have learned is that when you,
so if you have someone that's not willing
585
:to have that conversation with you,
586
:Speaker 2: mm-hmm.
587
:You know, you'll
588
:Speaker: see.
589
:But what I've found is when you
work on yourself and you start to
590
:think, this is what I want, and.
591
:You work on setting your boundaries,
either, a lot of times that
592
:person's gonna jump on and join you
593
:Speaker 2: mm-hmm.
594
:Speaker: Or they're not.
595
:Right.
596
:And that's gonna be telling too.
597
:Yeah.
598
:But what, whatever way it's
so important, start with you.
599
:It absolutely is.
600
:Speaker 2: And you know, I think had I,
um, had I been more, uh, vocal in my.
601
:First marriage about my
needs and wants early on.
602
:Not that we wouldn't
have ended in divorce.
603
:We may have ended in
divorce a little sooner.
604
:Yeah.
605
:And, um, and then I would've
had more time, um, you know, um.
606
:Doing my, my, the things financially that
support my goals and, and values, right?
607
:Well, and it, it all turned out fine.
608
:We're in a great place and I'm grateful
for my ex-husband and I'm grateful
609
:for the position that I'm in, and I'm
really grateful that I went through.
610
:All of that because it gave me a heart.
611
:I never thought I'd be
a financial advisor.
612
:Mm-hmm.
613
:But it gave me a heart to help
others who are in the same situation.
614
:Yeah.
615
:And so I feel like this is the
work I'm supposed to be doing.
616
:Amen.
617
:And it never would've
618
:Speaker: happened.
619
:Yep.
620
:And so in that sense, everything
happened just as it should.
621
:Yes.
622
:You know, I mean, yeah, you can look
back and, and say that about many things,
623
:but we are right where we need to be.
624
:Speaker 2: Yeah.
625
:Right
626
:Speaker: now.
627
:Speaker 2: Yeah.
628
:As part
629
:Speaker: of God's plan, you know?
630
:Yeah.
631
:He has a plan and it's unraveling
before our eyes, and so.
632
:Yeah, I think this has been
such a lovely conversation.
633
:Kathleen.
634
:I'm so thankful that I got to
talk to you today and I wanna stay
635
:connected to you and well likewise.
636
:And so maybe we can do this again.
637
:I'd love to.
638
:I'd love to
639
:Speaker 2: there.
640
:There's so many financial topics
we can explore around this.
641
:Speaker: Yep, absolutely.
642
:Do
643
:Speaker 2: this again.
644
:Speaker: And listeners, if there is
something that you're interested in
645
:hearing more about from Kathleen, send me
a little note message me because we could
646
:dig deeper into something specific too.
647
:So I just have truly
enjoyed getting to know you.
648
:You are a beautiful soul, and thank you.
649
:Thank you for being here.
650
:Oh,
651
:Speaker 2: thank you.
652
:It's such a pleasure.
653
:I appreciate it, Lisa.
654
:Speaker: You take good care.
655
:Okay?
656
:You too.