Let it go

I'm sure I'm not the only one having a tough time right now. Life get's hectic at this time of year, and when personal crises pop up simultaneously, it can be completely overwhelming. At times like these my advice is to show yourself some kindness and just let some things go!

If those things are important (like your creative practice!) give yourself a grace period and simply pick it up again whenever you can. Let's say "no" to hustle culture and embrace peace and joy this Christmas season.

In the spirit of all that, this will be my last episode for the year. But fear not, I'll be back in 2025 with more inspiration and encouragement to help you live your best creative life.

Transcript:

Welcome to The Joyful Creative. I'm Deborah O'Toole. I'm a multi passionate creative and I believe regular creativity is essential for well being. Whether you love painting, writing, knitting, music, gardening, or any other creative pursuit, here you'll find the inspiration and support to make your creative practice a joyful priority in your busy life.

So let's get creative.

Hello, my friends. Welcome back to another episode of the joyful creative. I hope that you're all going well at this late stage of the year. It is getting towards Christmas. I mean, we've still got three weeks before Christmas but I don't know, every year it just seems to ramp up earlier and earlier. And here we are in the first week of December and it already feels like it's been going on for a while and there's still a bit to go.So I hope that you're all coping well, not stressing too much and keeping calm and creative through this time.

I have to admit I've had a bit of a tough week. My father passed away a few days ago. And, he was, he was old. He was in hospice and he'd had a stroke a couple of months ago. We knew that the end was close and he had a very peaceful and comfortable end. He was very much at peace with his life and was ready to go. And I am grateful that he didn't suffer for too long or you know, be sort of hanging around in this limbo state of not really having much of a quality of life for too long. So it was in some ways a relief. And I didn't expect that I would feel particularly emotional. I think there's a difference between when people are old and and they have had a wonderful life. And when they pass away, there's some sort of sense of contentment and peace about them passing, as opposed to a young person where that can be very tragic. I hope that isn't triggering to anybody.

But nevertheless, even though I couldn't have wished for a nicer end for my Dad, my body is just telling me something. And it does seem really disproportionate to the emotions. I mean, I have been on the verge of tears on and off for a few days, it's not like I'm howling and completely distraught and very emotional. I don't feel that way. I feel pretty emotionally stable. And yet my body is just fatigued and I'm having body aches and brain fog like I've never known it. It's just very difficult to think clearly at the moment. This is a kind of grief I was just not prepared for.

And I'm sure that there are people out there who can relate, who have gone through the same experience. And I feel for anyone who's going through this. On top of my father passing, we are moving house next week and not just moving locally we're moving interstate. And we’re navigating the logistics of living out of a suitcase for a couple of months until our house is ready to move into. And we're heading down to my family for the funeral, obviously and then there's Christmas and new year's and all of that. So there's just a lot on.

And I'm not saying this to whinge in any way. It's just to give some context about what I'm about to say, which is that some of you know, that I have had a daily creative streak for over 12 months. And on Sunday, the day after dad died, I broke the streak. I had plenty of opportunity to grab a sketchbook and do some doodling or sketching. And actually that probably would have been very good for me. But I just think in the whole brain fog, I just forgot about it. And it really made me think, well, maybe the grieving brain knows what's actually a priority. And really, I think the priority on Sunday was for me to nap a lot. And just kind of lay on the bed, not having much energy to do anything. So, anyway, that's all to say that I broke my streak and I woke up at 4:00 AM the next morning and remembered. And it was a bit devastating because I've made an effort to keep up the streak of doing something daily for all this time. But then I thought, look, what's the worst thing about this?

The worst part about it is that I have an app on my phone it's called Streaks. And when I look at the app, it tells me how many days I've done. And when I’m counting the hundreds of days, It's pretty cool. And now I'm back to three again. But anyway, that's just the ego being upset. Really, the reason why I have the streak is to keep me accountable and keep me connected to my practice. Because if I didn't have the motivation to do something every day, then any type of disruption, like a death in the family or going on holidays or Christmas or working or traveling or anything like that would derail my whole practice.

And there might be weeks or months before I actually get back to it. So the fact that I do it, rain hail or shine, whatever is happening, whether I'm traveling or I'm at home, or whether I've had a big busy day or, a relaxing day, I do something every day. And it just keeps me at it. It just keeps me remembering that I call myself an artist and that's what I do every day. And I love the creativity.

But anyway, as it turns out, sometimes during extraordinary circumstances, like a death in the family, sometimes things do have to give. And it's not like I consciously thought to myself during the day, “I'm not going to do it today” In fact, I actually thought I will do it today, but then it just slipped my mind. So the point of all of this is just to remind you that even though I'm always banging on about daily creativity being so important and it's good for you and it needs to be high on the priority list…In the end, when push comes to shove, there's no need to beat ourselves up about meeting any commitment if it's just going to wear us down. Nothing's worth that. And as I've been receiving messages of condolences from people which have been so lovely, a lot of what they're saying is to be kind to myself. And it just made me think, yes, I need to be kind to myself and not beat myself up because I forgot to sketch that day or that I broke my streak. But in general, why aren't we kind to ourselves? Why do we have to be reminded to be kind to ourselves? When you think about it, it's actually a bit bizarre that we work so hard to be kind to everybody else, to be supportive, to be there. And if your best friend was going through something and they weren't able to meet all of their commitments, you would tell them, “just be kind to yourself”, as my friends have said to me, And I just don't know why we can't say that to ourselves. We seem to say it to other people so readily, and yet to ourselves, we think that we have to push through and keep going and meet all the commitments.And sometimes you just need to let go, which I'm just realizing now. I never really thought of myself as somebody who really pushes myself. I feel like I am pretty in tune with what I'm capable of and what I'm not, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I do try to just do too much. And I always seem to be busy. I would like to change that in the new year. Because maybe not being busy is the goal. We have a real hustle culture at the moment, where people really pride themselves on how busy they are. But when we're busy, it's often the important, meaningful things that go by the wayside. Like relationships with the people that we love or. Doing the things that are kind to ourselves, like taking a walk in nature or meditating or working out in the gym or patting a dog, whatever. When we're busy, those things tend to fall away. And then I think, well, what sort of life do we want? Do we want the life where we're just achieving a lot or the life where we're doing the things that we enjoy. And bringing joy to our life.

And I called this podcast, the joyful creative, because we can be creative, but we can also be very busy doing it. And I think it's important to remember that the reason why we explore or practice creativity is because it's meant to bring us joy. And if it gets to a point where it's not joyous, or you're stressing to fit it in then we've missed the point.

So, what am I saying here? I'm kind of contradicting myself, I guess. I am saying that if creativity is important to your wellbeing, then do make it high on the priority list. But in those times of crisis, it’s okay to drop it for a day and just go back to it. One of the things I learned from reading Atomic Habits. And I can't remember the author. One day, I am going to do a podcast about my favorite reads that help me to stay on track with my creativity and one of the books is Atomic Habits. And one of the things that really stuck with me about that was that if you do have a habit that you've incorporated into your life, because it enhances your life well, that's not the worst thing in the world if you miss a day. But then if you miss the next day and the next day, then you've lost the habit. So that's how I feel about my streak as well. Yes, I missed a day, but I'll go back to it the next day. And now I've continued. And so the effect of having a streak, which is like I said, to keep me accountable to my practice, that’s still exists. That's still upheld, even though I did miss a day.

So, kindness. Let it go. Be okay with not being busy. Be okay with letting something go for a day or two, but if it is important, then just go back to it. And it's really not hard. And nothing to beat ourselves up about.

So with all that said, and in the spirit of letting things go, I have decided that this will be the last podcast for this year. This is episode 19. It would have been great, wouldn’t it, if I had done 20. And I'd planned to do one next week, but we will be in the middle of moving and I'm just showing myself some kindness and being realistic about what I can manage. But I will get back to it next year.

So I really thank you all for tuning in. I hope that you've enjoyed the 19 episodes so far, if you've listened to them all. And if you have been enjoying it, and if you haven't already left a review, I'd really love if you did, because it gives me some idea of who's listening and get some feedback. And also when the podcast is reviewed, then it does help other people to find it. And that will be fantastic, I would really appreciate that.

I hope that you all have a very calm and creative Christmas, and don't forget that I have a mindful colouring book, which would be a lovely gift for somebody or a great idea to pursue yourself if you have a bit of time off over Christmas and new year.

So that's it for this year, friends Once again, yhank you so much for tuning in and supporting the podcast. And I look forward to coming back in 2025 with more episodes to help keep you motivated and empowered to make creativity a priority in your busy life. So friends, keep creative and I'll see you next year. Bye.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Joyful Creative. If you did, be sure to subscribe so you catch them every week. And if you can, please take a moment to leave a review or share it with a friend so the podcast can reach more people who need support and inspiration. Thanks for listening and keep creative.

Speaker: 00:00:01

Welcome to The Joyful Creative.

2

: 00:00:04

I'm Deborah O'Toole.

3

: 00:00:05

I'm a multi passionate creative

and I believe regular creativity

4

: 00:00:09

is essential for well being.

5

: 00:00:12

Whether you love painting, writing,

knitting, music, gardening, or any

6

: 00:00:16

other creative pursuit, here you'll

find the inspiration and support

7

: 00:00:21

to make your creative practice a

joyful priority in your busy life.

8

: 00:00:26

So let's get creative.

9

: 00:00:31

Hello, my friends.

10

: 00:00:33

Welcome back to another

episode of the joyful creative.

11

: 00:00:38

I hope that you're all going well

at this late stage of the year.

12

: 00:00:41

It is getting towards Christmas.

13

: 00:00:44

I mean, we still got three

weeks before Christmas, but.

14

: 00:00:47

I don't know every year, it just

seems to ramp up earlier and earlier.

15

: 00:00:51

And here we are in the first week of

December and it already feels like.

16

: 00:00:57

It's been going on for a while

and there's still a bit to go.

17

: 00:01:01

Uh, so I hope that you're all coping well.

18

: 00:01:05

Not stressing too much and keeping

calm and creative through this time.

19

: 00:01:11

I have to admit I've had

a bit of a tough week.

20

: 00:01:14

Um, my father passed away a few days ago.

21

: 00:01:18

And, he was, he was old.

22

: 00:01:21

He was in hospice and he'd had

a stroke a couple of months ago.

23

: 00:01:26

We knew that the end was close and he

had a very peaceful and comfortable.

24

: 00:01:32

And, uh, he was very much at peace.

25

: 00:01:35

With his life and was ready to go.

26

: 00:01:38

And I am grateful that he

didn't suffer for too long or.

27

: 00:01:43

You know, be sort of hanging around in

this limbo state of not really having

28

: 00:01:47

much of a quality of life for too long.

29

: 00:01:51

So it was in some ways a relief.

30

: 00:01:55

And.

31

: 00:01:55

I didn't expect that I would feel.

32

: 00:01:59

Particularly emotional.

33

: 00:02:01

I think there's a difference between when.

34

: 00:02:04

When people olden and they

have had a wonderful life.

35

: 00:02:07

And when they pass away,

There's some sort of sense of.

36

: 00:02:13

Uh, content mental peace

about them passing.

37

: 00:02:16

You know, as a, as

opposed to a young person.

38

: 00:02:19

, and where that can be very tragic.

39

: 00:02:21

I hope that isn't triggering to anybody.

40

: 00:02:24

, But nevertheless, even though.

41

: 00:02:26

I couldn't have wished for.

42

: 00:02:28

A nice end from my dad.

43

: 00:02:31

I am.

44

: 00:02:32

My body is just.

45

: 00:02:34

Telling me something, and it does

seem really disproportionate to.

46

: 00:02:40

The emotions.

47

: 00:02:41

I mean, I've.

48

: 00:02:41

I have been.

49

: 00:02:43

On the verge of tears, on

and off through the few days,

50

: 00:02:47

it's not like I'm howling and.

51

: 00:02:49

Completely distraught.

52

: 00:02:51

And very emotional.

53

: 00:02:52

I don't feel that way.

54

: 00:02:53

I feel pretty.

55

: 00:02:55

Emotionally stable.

56

: 00:02:57

And yet my body is just fatigued and

I'm having body aches and brain fog.

57

: 00:03:05

Like I've never known it.

58

: 00:03:07

It's just very difficult to

think clearly at the moment.

59

: 00:03:11

This is.

60

: 00:03:13

A kind of grief.

61

: 00:03:14

I was just not prepared for.

62

: 00:03:16

And I'm sure that there are people

out there who can relate, who have

63

: 00:03:19

gone through the same experience.

64

: 00:03:22

And I feel for anyone

who's going through this.

65

: 00:03:27

On top of.

66

: 00:03:28

My father passing.

67

: 00:03:29

We are moving house next week and not just

moving locally we're moving into state.

68

: 00:03:36

And when navigating the logistics of.

69

: 00:03:39

Living out of a suitcase for

a couple of months until our

70

: 00:03:42

house is ready to move into.

71

: 00:03:44

And we're heading down to my

family for the funeral, obviously.

72

: 00:03:49

And then there's Christmas and

new year's and all of that.

73

: 00:03:52

So.

74

: 00:03:54

There's just a lot on.

75

: 00:03:55

And I'm not saying this

to whinge in any way.

76

: 00:03:58

It's just to give some context.

77

: 00:04:01

Uh, about what I'm about to say, which

is that some of you know, that I have

78

: 00:04:07

had a daily creative streak for over.

79

: 00:04:11

12 months.

80

: 00:04:12

And on Sunday, the day after

dad died, I broke the streak.

81

: 00:04:18

I have plenty of opportunity

to grab a sketchbook and do

82

: 00:04:22

some doodling or sketching.

83

: 00:04:23

And actually that probably would

have been very good for me.

84

: 00:04:26

But I just think in the whole.

85

: 00:04:30

Brain fog.

86

: 00:04:31

I just forgot about it.

87

: 00:04:33

And.

88

: 00:04:34

It really made me think, well,

maybe the grieving brain.

89

: 00:04:37

Knows what's actually a priority.

90

: 00:04:40

And really, I think the priority

on Sunday was for me to nap a lot.

91

: 00:04:46

And just kind of lay on the bed, not

having much energy to do anything.

92

: 00:04:51

So, anyway, that's all to say that I

broke my streak and I work up at 4:00

93

: 00:04:57

AM the next morning and remembered.

94

: 00:05:00

And it was a bit devastating because.

95

: 00:05:05

I've made an effort to keep up

the streak of doing something

96

: 00:05:08

daily for all this time.

97

: 00:05:11

But then I thought, look, what's

the worst thing about this.

98

: 00:05:15

The worst part about it is that I have

an apple, my phone it's called streaks.

99

: 00:05:21

And when I look at the app, it

tells me how many days I've done.

100

: 00:05:25

And when I, you know, counting the

hundreds of days, It's pretty cool.

101

: 00:05:29

And now I'm back to three again.

102

: 00:05:33

But anyway, that's just

the, the ego being upset.

103

: 00:05:38

Really, the reason why I have the

streak is to keep me accountable and

104

: 00:05:43

keep me connected to my practice.

105

: 00:05:45

Because if I didn't have the motivation to

do something every day, then any type of.

106

: 00:05:53

Disruption.

107

: 00:05:54

Like a death in the family or going

on holidays or Christmas or working

108

: 00:06:00

or traveling or anything like that

would derail my whole practice.

109

: 00:06:04

And there might be weeks or months

before I actually get back to it.

110

: 00:06:08

So the fact that I do

it, rain hail or shine.

111

: 00:06:12

Whatever is happening, whether I'm

traveling or I'm at home, or whether I've

112

: 00:06:16

had a big busy day or, a relaxing day.

113

: 00:06:20

I do something every day.

114

: 00:06:22

And it just keeps me at it.

115

: 00:06:24

It just keeps me remembering that.

116

: 00:06:27

I call myself an artist and

that's what I do every day.

117

: 00:06:30

And I love the creativity.

118

: 00:06:32

But anyway, as it turns out, sometimes

during extraordinary circumstances,

119

: 00:06:39

like a death in the family, Sometimes.

120

: 00:06:43

Things do have to give.

121

: 00:06:46

And it's not like I consciously

thought to myself during the day,

122

: 00:06:49

I'm not going to do it today.

123

: 00:06:51

In fact, I actually thought I will do it

today, but then it just slipped my mind.

124

: 00:06:57

So the point of all of this

is just to remind you that.

125

: 00:07:03

Even though I'm always banging on about

daily creativity being so important

126

: 00:07:08

and it's good for you and it needs

to be high on the priority list.

127

: 00:07:13

In the end.

128

: 00:07:14

When push comes to shove, there's

no need to beat ourselves up.

129

: 00:07:19

About.

130

: 00:07:20

Meeting any commitment.

131

: 00:07:22

If it's just going to wear us down.

132

: 00:07:26

Nothing's worth that.

133

: 00:07:28

And as I've been receiving messages

of condolences from people which

134

: 00:07:32

have been to so lovely, a lot of what

they're saying is to be kind to myself.

135

: 00:07:40

And it just made me think, yes, I

need to be kind to myself and not

136

: 00:07:44

beat myself up because I forgot.

137

: 00:07:46

To sketch that day or

that I broke my streak.

138

: 00:07:50

But in general.

139

: 00:07:51

Why aren't we kind to ourselves.

140

: 00:07:54

Why do we have to be reminded

to be kind to ourselves?

141

: 00:07:58

When you think about it,

it's actually a bit bizarre

142

: 00:08:01

that we worked so hard to

be kind to everybody else.

143

: 00:08:05

To be supportive to be there.

144

: 00:08:08

And if your best friend was going through

something and they weren't able to meet

145

: 00:08:14

all of their commitments, you would

tell them, just be kind to yourself.

146

: 00:08:18

As my friends have said to me, And.

147

: 00:08:22

I just don't know why we

can't say that to ourselves.

148

: 00:08:26

We seem to say it to

Share Episode

Shownotes

Transcripts

Follow

Links

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube