BEG (2011) Commentary Track (A Big-Ass Pumpkin Day Extravaganza)

14th October 2024 • Box Office Pulp • Cody Alft, Jamie Lewis, Mike Napier

Mike: 00:01:46

Here's a question. What is your favorite coin? Mine is probably a nickel.

Cody: 00:01:51

Uh, I actually don't like coins. I wish they never existed.

Mike: 00:01:55

I think that's fair. They really shouldn't.

Jamie: 00:01:57

I feel a totemic satisfaction anytime I hold a quarter in my hand. There's a holding a piece of american mythology.

Cody: 00:02:03

I mean, I could just have a piece, a round piece of metal, though, that doesn't have spending power, and I'd be okay with it. I don't need my bottle clogged up. Sure. Perfect. I love it.

Mike: 00:02:11

Bottle cap is a form of currency.

Cody: 00:02:13

We're not playing these fallout rules.

Jamie: 00:02:16

When you have four quarters in your pocket, don't you feel like you're part of something that's been happening since the dawn of Mandev? Like I have the symbols of commerce clanking in my genes, like they did in ancient Mesopotamia?

Cody: 00:02:31

No, I do not feel that power.

The only thing that feels good about having coins is when you go up to a jukebox and you slam a quarter in, and then it plays a cool song that other people in the bar also appreciate. Or you slam on a song everyone in the bar hates. That's fine, too.

Jamie: 00:02:48

I did that with the Spider man theme at a diner at Mike's house.

Cody: 00:02:52

Ah, true, true.

Mike: 00:02:54

Except she wasn't supposed to play the Spider man theme. But she got so excited by the Spider man theme. She played the Spider man theme, as you do.

Jamie: 00:03:02

I have poor impulse control, especially when.

Mike: 00:03:04

It comes to Spider man. You know, uh, thanks to change, though, that's how Tom Hanks in that movie was able to eat the terminal.

Cody: 00:03:13

Are you. Did you. Did you forget the name of one of the greatest Tom Hanks movies? The terminal?

Mike: 00:03:18

No, no, I just like saying that movie, movie in regards to the terminal. That makes it funnier to me. Cody.

Cody: 00:03:23

Sure, sure. Welcome to box office pack, your one stop podcast for movies madness and moxie.

Tonight, though, it's a special occasion, I'm glad you're here, listener, because, uh, it's. It's a bop in a movie. But it's not just any bop in a movie. It's our annual big ass pumpkin day. That's right.

The most special holiday of them all because we didn't quite make it. But we did steal it. It's ours now. We kind of been squatting on the rights long enough where it officially belongs. Belongs to us.

And we can sue you if you try to make your own big ass pumpkin day celebration without the wish site. We really should. Hold on, let me check it and make sure it's still around.

Mike: 00:04:01

It's going to turn out to be a porn site, isn't it?

Cody: 00:04:04

Hmm. Can't seem to reach this page. So big ass pumpkin day all one word is non existent.

Mike: 00:04:10

So we found the one website that doesn't even have a landing page.

Cody: 00:04:13

Yeah, they didn't even bother. Like, no one wants this one.

Mike: 00:04:15

Interesting.

Cody: 00:04:16

Mike: 00:04:19

Oh, I typed.

Cody: 00:04:20

Website, pumpkin day. Oh, no. Oh, no, I typed, register, website, big ass pumpkin day. And the first thing it took me to was a Pornhub link for big ass pumpkin porn videos.

Jamie: 00:04:34

Yeah, pumpkins were really big in porn a couple of years ago.

Cody: 00:04:39

No, their sextube is more popular and features more big ass pumpkin scenes than Pornhub. Exclamation point. Oh, so is.

Mike: 00:04:47

Is our pumpkins? Does that mean ass, or does that mean like, you're putting an entire gourd in you?

Jamie: 00:04:54

A lot of people were fucking pumpkins a couple of years ago. It was a bit of a porn meme.

Mike: 00:04:58

Gotta do those guts. Gotta get up on them guts.

Jamie: 00:05:02

I was never prouder as a trans woman than that year.

Cody: 00:05:05

There's. There's two things I have to report about my search results for big ass pumpkin day. Uh, typing register website, big ass Pumpkin Day.

The first four results are different porn sites. There's Pornhub, spank, bank, youpornite. Then it's back to spank bank for the perfect pumpkin ass of your dreams.

Jamie: 00:05:22

I'm so happy there's actually a porn site named Spankbank. I'm glad someone took initiative there.

Cody: 00:05:27

Yeah, but the important thing is the fifth one. It's a YouTube link to our big ass Pumpkin Day celebration episode for Pumpkin Head.

Jamie: 00:05:38

I didn't know.

Cody: 00:05:38

That was followed by another Pornhub link for Ricky's room. Big ass Halloween pumpkin with Abigail Morris. Some results have been removed. Thank you, Google. We made the top page. Jesus Christ.

Anyways, folks, thank you so much for joining us for big ass Pumpkin day. I haven't seen the movie we're watching tonight, so I assume it has big ass pumpkins. We're really crossing our fingers.

So if you'd like to watch along. Mike, correct me if I'm wrong. This is ontooby.

Mike: 00:06:08

It's on Tubi.

Cody: 00:06:09

It's on tubi. The movie is Begdez. So if you go to Tubi and look up Meg, you can, you can kind of follow along.

There's probably going to be commercial breaks on your end, so that's, that's going to make this a little chunky.

Mike: 00:06:20

But watch one bad blocker. There. Um, there is a version on YouTube, but it's shorter for some reason. But we're watching specifically the.

So I don't know if that's like, was screwed with like sped up or something.

Cody: 00:06:32

They took all the pumpkins out.

Mike: 00:06:34

They took all the pumpkins out. The pumpkinless version. Um, that and women. Pumpkins and women.

Cody: 00:06:40

Is this the Mormon edition?

Mike: 00:06:41

What are you watching? Yes. Everyone has cgde underwear on. So we were watching.

I want to state for the record that my pick, the one I was excited for once it was brought up, was the stupid hallmark pumpkin pie movie.

Cody: 00:06:56

I had several people recommend to me that we should have watched the Hallmark movie.

Mike: 00:07:00

I think it would have been a good way to go. Instead, we're watching bag, which we are watching because someone's wearing a pumpkin match on the COVID and we recognize people in the credits.

Jamie: 00:07:11

Yeah, the illustrious, I mean, stunt casting works.

The illustrious backstory to this pic was my partner was going through to be a few weeks ago, saw a thumbnail with a dude in a pumpkin mask and said, hey, babe, you can use this for that pumpkin thing.

Cody: 00:07:28

They're not wrong. And to make sure everyone's on the same page, because I'm realizing now there are many movies called beg. Some with or without exclamation points.

I believe this is beg from: 2011

Jamie: 00:07:40

By the one with Tony Todd.

Cody: 00:07:42

Kevin McDonald. So, yeah, if you. If you don't see Tony Todd, take it back. It's no good. I believe that for most movies or.

Mike: 00:07:49

You'Ve accidentally put on a different movie, that's better.

Cody: 00:07:53

We haven't seen this yet, so it's tough to judge that I, you know.

Mike: 00:07:56

I mean, granite pumpkin hole turned out to be good.

Cody: 00:07:59

Different genre than we were expecting. We thought it was going to be like piece of shit. Instead, it was like an actual dramatic piece.

Mike: 00:08:04

It was a dramatic movie. You know, those are unabashed ripoff of the machinist, but still very good.

Jamie: 00:08:11

I would say pumpkin head as much better than we give it credit for in the episode.

Cody: 00:08:16

Yeah. Yeah. True. I like, what are we doing with this? Are we gonna watch this thing?

Mike: 00:08:22

All right. You got a drink.

Cody: 00:08:24

That's true. I have two drinks because I expect one might be bad. So my first drink. Oh, delicious, delicious, hot apple cider. Just the good stuff. I love it.

The other drink, we're going to see how this is going to turn out. Any drink that gives you, like, three possible substitutions for ingredients makes me think, oh, this will be bad.

They're giving you multiple outs, but this is the pumpkin martini. From what website is this from who did I steal this from? Nospoon necessary.com.

according to this, you're gonna need 2oz of pumpkin spice vodka or regular vodka or vanilla vodka. Just get a vodka. Raspberry. Don't give a shit vodka. Then you need one ounces of dark rum.

Or if you don't feel like dark rum, rum chowder, the exact same thing. Two tablespoons of pumpkin puree. You can either make it yourself or just buy canned pumpkin puree.

One ounces of maple syrup, a quarter teaspoon of pure vanilla extract, a half ounce of half and half, or irish cream if you want it really boozy. And then this is optional, too. A pinch of pumpkin pie spice and exactly three ice cubes when you throw it all into the shaker and mix this thing up.

So I've already mixed mine. It's got, like a kind of orangeish hue to a creamy thick kind of constitution here.

It looks like an irish cream kind of drink with a little bit of pumpkin. Also, to top this off, I found this in stores, so I got to use it. Dairy stars naturally flavored pumpkin dairy whipped topping spray can.

Mike: 00:09:55

So let's.

Cody: 00:09:55

Let's just top this guy off with some pumpkin. Hold on. The nozzle's not behaving. Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby. Oh. Oh, this is getting all over my laptop.

Jamie: 00:10:08

Stop covering your laptop in pumpkin things for these commentary.

Cody: 00:10:13

No, it is tradition. Oh, no. I put a lot of cream on and is slowly collapsing onto my mouse. No, it's like the leaning tower over here.

Mike: 00:10:25

No.

Cody: 00:10:29

Hold on. Okay, let me. Let me. Let me get a little sip of this. I got. I gotta eat, like, a fucking three inch mound of cream first. Hold on. Wow.

This whipped cream tastes nothing like pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:10:40

It is, unfortunately, alcoholic. So you are already wasting.

Cody: 00:10:44

No, that's a line in the sand. I won't pass. I've tried alcoholic whipped creams before, and they all taste like ass.

Jamie: 00:10:49

That's a thing?

Cody: 00:10:51

Oh, yeah.

Jamie: 00:10:51

Oh, that sounds awful.

Cody: 00:10:53

It's very bad. I would not recommend alcoholic whipped cream. Not. They haven't figured it out just chemically.

Jamie: 00:10:59

I don't know how that would work.

Cody: 00:11:01

Oh. Oh, what happened to this? Oh, no. I'm starting to wonder if one of my ingredients is expired because this tastes bad. Like, worse than it should.

I use the rum chada that had been in my fridge for a long time, and I'm starting to wonder if that turned.

Jamie: 00:11:17

Do you still have the bottle? Can we check?

Cody: 00:11:19

Um, it's in my fridge. I don't think we want to delay the show anymore to have me investigate. Let me. Okay.

Jamie: 00:11:24

Let me get content, Cody.

Cody: 00:11:25

Okay, hold on. I'm gonna. I'm gonna try one more sip, and then we'll. We'll go investigate. Yeah, that's really bad.

I use the vanilla vodka and the pinch of pumpkin spice and two tablespoons of. Oh, no. Do you ever just feel like you've gotten food poisoning? Like, you just know it's gonna be a thing tomorrow you gotta deal with?

Mike: 00:11:45

I also decided to throw some green yogurt in there.

Cody: 00:11:48

I do have some greek yogurt I could have. I had some limited edition pumpkin flavored greek yogurt I could have.

Mike: 00:11:53

How is that? I've seen that.

Cody: 00:11:54

It's really. I'm pissed because my store doesn't have anymore. They had for, like, two weeks, and it's. I'm gonna have to get that if it's good. It was good.

It tastes surprisingly good. A little bit sweeter than you'd expect because it's, you know, yogurt, but pretty tasty.

Also, the one I got was in a combo pack, so it was half that and half apple cinnamon pie. And that one was my favorite. Cause I had these little chunks of apple inside the greek yogurt. I really like that texture difference.

Mike: 00:12:16

Nice.

Cody: 00:12:17

I'm dreaming of yogurt this is so bad. Let me go check that rum chow to make sure I didn't eat something that's gonna kill me.

Mike: 00:12:24

Good call. I like how this is. This is what the commentary has devolved into.

Jamie: 00:12:27

I knew it was gonna come to this eventually. I just didn't think it would be for a big ass pumpkin day drink.

Mike: 00:12:33

You know, I really wanna try pumpkin spice cheerios or corn flakes or they have frosted flakes that are pumpkin spice now.

Jamie: 00:12:40

And I'm curious about those pumpkin spice corn flakes. I think that would be good.

Mike: 00:12:44

It seems like it. I'm just a sucker. Anything pumpkin spice I will eat and probably enjoy.

Cody: 00:12:51

Okay, we can stop vamping. I have a little shot glass filled with rum chada. It still smells like cinnamon, so maybe it's all right.

Jamie: 00:12:58

The container doesn't have, like, an expiration date on it.

Cody: 00:13:01

Um, no, it's, it's a, it's a white bottle. It's like a cream based rum liqueur. So it's supposed to be refrigerated, but I don't know how long it stays good for.

This wasn't a bad enough to make me feel like I'm gonna die, but it also doesn't quite taste good. So I'm. I'm gonna assume the rum chat spoiled that one.

Mike: 00:13:20

And, um, that is an important part. Whenever you make this drink, make sure it's spoiled.

Cody: 00:13:26

That that definitely helps.

Mike: 00:13:27

Maybe like, it's a rotten pumpkin.

Cody: 00:13:29

It's what I had good color vision, maybe I'd be like, oh, this isn't orange, it's green, but I can't tell. So anyways, thank God I have the pumpkin dairy whipped topping to keep me company. My apple cider.

And because I didn't know how to wash the rest of this out of my mouth. A can of hams or a pineapple, mango honey bee cannabis THc sparkling water.

Jamie: 00:13:48

Woo.

Cody: 00:13:49

Which I won at a bar last night when they were having a reggae giveaway.

Mike: 00:13:53

I was hoping you would just eat a tin of Vienna sausages.

Cody: 00:13:58

I'm not posed. I got a can of spam, but I don't feel like wasting that right now.

Mike: 00:14:02

I don't think you need sodium right now after all this.

Jamie: 00:14:04

Can I say how funny a combination of words cannabis minimal water is to me?

Cody: 00:14:12

Come up with a mineral water. It's a sparkling water. Very different.

Jamie: 00:14:17

These are what's the most California combination of words?

Cody: 00:14:22

These are what's a legal thing in Wisconsin. We can have THC infused sparkling waters.

Mike: 00:14:27

Goddamn millennials.

Cody: 00:14:29

They're actually pretty good. I'm a fan. I haven't tried the mango one before, but, uh, it was a giveaway, so I'm not gonna say no.

Mike: 00:14:35

All right, we're gonna have to start this movie eventually.

Cody: 00:14:37

Yeah, well, I guess we're at it. So, folks, turn on your tubes. Mike, you want to do us the honors of counting us down?

Mike: 00:14:44

1230. God, nothing can stop it now.

Cody: 00:14:51

This is an hour 46. Jesus.

Mike: 00:14:53

I know.

Cody: 00:14:53

Why didn't we take one with all the pumpkins removed? That would have been so much faster.

Mike: 00:14:59

This is longer than some marvel movies.

Cody: 00:15:01

Yeah. Okay.

I see people online complaining that movies are too long, which I think is kind of an eye roll thing, because obviously some of the stuff like Dune is great and that's very long. Dune, part two, specifically.

Mike: 00:15:15

Yeah.

Cody: 00:15:16

But then I see so many movies where they're like 2 hours and 15 minutes long, and you just go, I lost interest at 2 hours. You did not need the extra time. This one is luckily under 2 hours, but we'll see if that hour 46 is justified.

Jamie: 00:15:30

Oh, God. I think that it's not so much that movies are too long these days, is that. Good lord, are some movies hilariously bloated?

Cody: 00:15:42

It's true.

Mike: 00:15:43

You could have long does not mean you're epic.

Cody: 00:15:45

You could have an hour, 15 minutes movie that feels like it's several hours in a good way.

I always think of, you know, all the stop motion movies that are barely over an hour long, but you watch them and you feel like you had a long, fulfilling experience with them. Like nightmare before Christmas. Surprisingly short. Doesn't feel like they're short changing you.

It feels like you get a lot of movie, then you have other things where it's like, Jesus Christ, why is this two and a half hours long?

Jamie: 00:16:10

This is completely anecdotal, but I first started noticing that as an ever increasing trend around the time Pirates of the Caribbean at world's end came around.

Cody: 00:16:26

Yeah, those were hefty.

Jamie: 00:16:29

That seemed to be like right around the time every big movie started being really, really epic.

Cody: 00:16:40

Except.

Mike: 00:16:41

Except if you were released by Fox, they were getting progressively shorter at the time.

Jamie: 00:16:46

That was the X Factor.

Cody: 00:16:49

Where has the needle swung in regards to the second and third pirates movies? I feel like all the other ones that came after made two and three seem like way better movies.

Mike: 00:16:59

Pretty much. I still stand by two.

Cody: 00:17:03

Two I loved, but it's hampered because you really need three to finish two.

Mike: 00:17:06

Yeah.

Cody: 00:17:07

So it's a half of a movie.

Mike: 00:17:08

And three is just broken.

Cody: 00:17:11

There's some weird stuff happening in three.

Jamie: 00:17:14

Meanwhile, I didn't really care that much for two, but ended up enjoying three more. I haven't seen any of those movies since they came out, so that'd be wild to do, like a commentary or something eventually.

Cody: 00:17:26

I mean, I think everyone agrees, which is weird, that number one is just a fantastic, near perfect movie. You almost never get it, where everyone agrees. I got a long franchise. Oh, no. That one was flawless. And then I think opinions are fairly close.

That two and three are a big step down, but they're still much, much better than what we got in four and five. It stopped at five, right? One had blackbeard. Lord help me, I can't remember my.

Mike: 00:17:56

Pirates because there was the Blackbeard one.

Cody: 00:18:00

Yep.

Mike: 00:18:02

And then magic tides then than the.

Jamie: 00:18:06

One with Javier Bardem, which we have talked about on this podcast at length about. And it has been erased from our minds.

Cody: 00:18:16

Yeah, that's interesting.

Jamie: 00:18:17

That movie was.

Cody: 00:18:18

em. It's on Stranger Tides in: 2011

I'm surprised they have not tried to get out another pirates yet.

Mike: 00:18:33

Are they still trying to do like that? Margot Robbie?

Cody: 00:18:36

I haven't heard anything. That reboot, I feel like it's got to be dead.

Mike: 00:18:39

I already run for Harryman Frundini. What?

Cody: 00:18:44

There is some surprisingly big names in this thing. We've got a well known composer. We've got Tony Todd, which we've already said several times, but that's exciting to me. Who else?

Jamie: 00:18:55

Isn't there another person here? All for a lot of people. All for a movie that's opening. Scream blew out the microphone.

Cody: 00:19:07

I did check.

Jamie: 00:19:08

This is not the kids in the hall. Kevin McDonald, which would have tied all.

Cody: 00:19:12

Of this together, just in case people aren't paying attention. They're just so fascinated by us.

The summary for this movie is Jack Fox, a burnt out detective is being forced in early retirement as the worst serial killer since the Boston Strangler begins a killing spree through the streets of Salem.

When Detective Steve Ryan moves to town with his family, Jack is torn between a life of retirement and sanity, or helping rookie Detective Ryan in his quest to solve these killings that are haunting the people of Salem. If, uh, you can't really take issue with the synopsis because it's not the movie. But isn't that insane? The guy is being given the choice.

Hey, you can be in retirement or you can catch a killer, because wouldn't catching the killer make the retirement relaxing.

I know if I was just sitting around a city and there's a super prolific killer walking around, I probably would have a hard time enjoying all that time off.

Jamie: 00:20:06

I just could leave town too, just eating that big hot dog. Also, I love forensic analyst Christopher Titus back there.

Mike: 00:20:25

Also, smoking a cigar at a crime scene fascinates me.

Cody: 00:20:30

Just a little bit of ash, it helps brings up, bring out the fingerprints. All right, so this is just twin peaks. We've got the trees, we've got the.

Mike: 00:20:41

I was getting that vibe. Yeah, someone's about to bury a necklace. We're not in pumpkin hole again, are we?

Cody: 00:20:51

Surprise. It's the pumpkin hole extended universe.

Mike: 00:20:58

It's written in jam.

Jamie: 00:21:01

Doesn't Jack Fox just sound like he should be the main character of a mid tier, like, PlayStation one espionage series?

Mike: 00:21:15

Either or he should be played by Franco Nero in like, exploitation martial arts movie.

Jamie: 00:21:26

Either way, Jack Fox is going to come out of that grave and start whooping a ninja ass.

Cody: 00:21:32

I have always wondered, when you're making a movie, how do you pick the character names?

Because I feel like it'd be very easy to go the pretentious route and be, you know, oh, every name has special meaning, so everyone's just rolling their eyes. Or you go the other route where you just pick the most generic name possible and everyone hates it because they can't remember the guy's name.

Because it's like Jack Smith.

Jamie: 00:21:51

I have so much trouble with names whenever I'm writing for exactly that reason.

Mike: 00:21:56

I go back and the urge to.

Jamie: 00:21:57

Ocfy everyone is so tempting.

Mike: 00:22:00

Yeah, I go back and forth. I will. Mainly because I'm an etymology fucking nerd that I'll have dive back and find names that have interesting meanings to use them.

Then other times they'll be, oh, that sounds interesting and has no meaning behind it.

Cody: 00:22:17

I almost feel like all, every time you name a character, it should just come out of a hat. Like, you should just grab a name, be like, yeah, Garfield. Okay, weird one.

Mike: 00:22:25

But that was an, honestly, name generators are the best.

Cody: 00:22:28

Yeah, I. My biggest pet peeve right now is the number of characters that are clearly just named as homages to other things which.

Jamie: 00:22:38

Oh, Detective Carpenter.

Cody: 00:22:39

Yeah, all of those. I'm sure as a kid, like a teenager, I was excited because like, hey, it's that thing I like. Yay.

And now as an adult, I'm like, this is so fucking stupid. We all like the same things. You don't have to tell me you like John Carpenter.

That's just a given transal fucking banya is actually Rob Zombie's latest record. Shout out to rob Zombie. I went to Riotfest last weekend and Rob Zombie probably had the best set at the entire weekend. I was blown away.

Mike: 00:23:12

I'm so jealous.

Cody: 00:23:14

It was fucking phenomenal. So it's just maximalism in terms of the visuals.

Everything on the stage was a video screen so you'd have a set where he's just singing a song and everything is covered in digital hellfire.

But there's also real fire on the stage and they have pyrotechnics on the bottom shooting fireballs and sparklers on top shooting 20 foot long sparkling jets down at the stage.

And the drummer, for some reason is 20ft in the air and there's a 15 foot tall satan puppet walking and Rob Zombie's there seeing a living dead girl behind a pulpit that's like a day glow satanic altar. It's fucking amazing. And then the song will end, it'll go dark for 2 seconds and they'll swap everything on stage for something equally weird like a.

Just a bunch of UFO's or an alien with giant glowing eyes. It's amazing.

Jamie: 00:24:02

Was anyone fucking it?

Cody: 00:24:04

I wish. I hope.

Mike: 00:24:05

Cody, can you do me a favor?

Cody: 00:24:07

Yes.

Mike: 00:24:07

Can you just verily, very, very, very quietly, calmly say, everybody's fucking in the UFO.

Cody: 00:24:14

Everybody's fucking UFO.

Mike: 00:24:16

Thank you. You're welcome.

Cody: 00:24:19

Scream blacula. Scream.

Mike: 00:24:27

This seems like something now. It just seems like some kind of code word. I love it.

Cody: 00:24:35

My favorite bit of crowd work too was Rob zombie announcing, okay, women, grab. Grab your boyfriends or your husbands or your girlfriends or your wives or whoever you came with. Just.

Just whatever big person you came with, climb on top of them. I want to serenade you.

Mike: 00:24:52

He's so polite.

Cody: 00:24:54

Rob zombie inclusive. And then he's saying living dead girl, as all the girlfriends were perched atop their boyfriends. It was romantic.

Mike: 00:25:03

That's amazing. Him and Alice Cooper played near me not that long ago, but, oh yeah.

Cody: 00:25:07

I saw they're doing a co headliner.

Mike: 00:25:09

Yeah, it was a freaks on parade tour.

Cody: 00:25:14

So that was the main thing I.

Jamie: 00:25:15

Learned at Riot Festad Thanksgiving we've got going on in here.

Mike: 00:25:19

I think they're all clones of each other.

Jamie: 00:25:22

All of these men are named Ray. I mean, they're looking for a seat. They're looking for a killer that's just killing the same white girl over and over, apparently.

Cody: 00:25:33

I think there were four people in this room that were bold.

Jamie: 00:25:37

Right, right.

Cody: 00:25:40

This is a weird thing to me personally, but if I see a bunch of bald cops. I assume the movie is set in Boston, so it's a little weird to me. This is set in Salem. That's just a weird bias in my head. It doesn't make any sense.

But I just see, like, four bold cops. I'm like, that's Boston.

Mike: 00:25:54

They were all born there, but they're on loan to Salem because of witches.

Cody: 00:26:07

Very important discussion point here. That has nothing to do with beg. Sorry, beg. We'll get back to you.

Mike: 00:26:12

Thank God.

Cody: 00:26:13

I recently bought the Warner brothers Blu ray two pack of Scooby Doo and the witch's ghost and Scooby Doo and the alien invaders. And I rewatched them both. It's strange to me that people don't talk more about Scooby Doo and the witch's ghost.

Everyone goes back to Zombie island as, like, the greatest Scooby Doo animated. And it's really good. I don't want to slight that one in any capacity. But on the other hand, witch's ghost has Tim Curry voicing a character.

Jamie: 00:26:44

It's playing Clive Barker.

Cody: 00:26:46

Yes. The Hex girls show up for, like, the first time and get to sing songs.

It's got, like, the same edge as Zombie island where there's, like, an actual real spooky ghost. Minor spoilers. Witch's ghost fucking kind of rocks. I am. I am shocked that that one does not get brought up at the exact same time as zombie island.

Mike: 00:27:05

It is awesome. Honestly, as good as Zombie island is, I think I like witch's ghost more.

Jamie: 00:27:11

Same. I always prefer to Witch's ghost as a kid.

Cody: 00:27:14

I'm still more of a zombie island guy, but I think both should be held in almost equal regard.

Mike: 00:27:20

Agreed.

Cody: 00:27:22

And then it makes me very sad that the quality dips off so quickly too.

Mike: 00:27:25

Immediately. Yeah. Renaissance. Oh, no.

Cody: 00:27:29

I mean, alien invaders is fine. I don't think that one's bad.

Jamie: 00:27:31

Alien invaders is underrated. I do. I do think that gets too much fun. Yeah.

Mike: 00:27:35

I think it's just the fact that it's a basic Scooby Doo.

Jamie: 00:27:39

Yeah.

Cody: 00:27:40

And it really plays up some comedy.

Jamie: 00:27:42

A little bit more than a weird meta thing. So it's got that.

Cody: 00:27:44

Yeah.

Mike: 00:27:45

Cyber chase has some interesting ideas.

Cody: 00:27:47

Yeah, those are. Those are, like, the classic four of the revival Scooby movies, but they really disappeared after that. The quality just bums me out so much.

And also, boy, they look like real movies, those first four. The animation, the shading of it all. They just look expensive. They look like actual animation you would see in a theater.

And no offense, to some of the other Scooby doos, which are fine, but you see some of the newer stuff now, and it just feels like extended episodes of the tv shows.

Mike: 00:28:16

Yeah, those are still the best looking Scooby Doo movies.

Jamie: 00:28:19

Honestly, the Scooby Doo movies didn't look good again until the most recent two.

Cody: 00:28:24

Honestly, they got very stylized with those, which I love that. That helps a lot. Oh, no. Sam Hine is going higher and higher.

Mike: 00:28:31

Can we just. We cannot go that Tony Todd just spelled out.

Cody: 00:28:35

Sawyer saw where.

Jamie: 00:28:37

And he pronounced Halloween skeletons and no lighting.

Mike: 00:28:43

There is just. They did not afford bulbs for this production.

Jamie: 00:28:48

This is one of my favorite low budget movie conventions. The classroom, that's just some man's living room.

Cody: 00:28:58

I do appreciate, though, that there. I thought this was gonna be Tony Todd shows up for, like, a brief cameo.

You know, like, the final destination thing where he just acts creepy in one scene. It's over there. They're letting Tony Todd have some fun here. He's, like, making little jokes, and he's scribbling all over this marker board.

Jamie: 00:29:13

Tony Todd so happy he doesn't have to be creepy.

Cody: 00:29:18

This is. Tony Todd just looks like he's having fun here. This is. This is nice.

Mike: 00:29:23

He's schooling some white folk. Some boring ass white folk. I hope all die.

Jamie: 00:29:30

And I remember when I had a western series.

Cody: 00:29:34

I don't. I don't quite love the new canon.

Jamie: 00:29:37

Did they just pass a joint in class?

Cody: 00:29:40

Yes.

Mike: 00:29:41

Well, it's so dark in there. I mean.

Jamie: 00:29:45

We'Re gonna do this drug deal. Although never expect it.

Cody: 00:29:50

Oh, no. Tony Todd is giving off the vibes of that one science teacher from Spider man one the. I kid you not, man.

Mike: 00:29:58

It's that this is actually him grown up.

Cody: 00:30:00

Empty your pockets. I kid you not. Uh. Ooh, we're getting. We're getting some passion.

Jamie: 00:30:07

Uh, he wants his goddamn money.

Cody: 00:30:10

I was talking about candy man. I don't quite love the new one, but I'm very disappointed it didn't get, like, an immediate sequel or two.

Jamie: 00:30:17

Same should have.

Mike: 00:30:18

Yeah.

Cody: 00:30:19

Even if I thought it was just, like, a b level movie, like, that's so enjoyable. I'm happy to get those. Not everything has to be an a, and it gave us a hint of Tony Todd.

I would love it if they brought it back and everyone just got to be doing more Candyman shenanigans.

Jamie: 00:30:33

I do still think the new Candyman got a little fucked in the editing room.

Cody: 00:30:38

I could believe that.

It feels like something was dropped, like a plot point or something was just missing during that third act, and it just doesn't quite come together the way it should, as far as I say.

Jamie: 00:30:49

I really love that movie up to a point. And then it's like they cut 15 minutes out of it and the movie just stops.

Mike: 00:30:59

So do you think we're all waiting around to see, like, Nia DaCosta's next movie and see if it also gets re edited and see if there's, like, there's going on here?

Cody: 00:31:11

She's got. I could have sworn something coming up here pretty soon, doesn't she?

Mike: 00:31:18

I remember her being announced for something.

Cody: 00:31:21

Maybe I was just thinking of the marvels that came out last year.

Mike: 00:31:24

Oh, no, no, no.

Cody: 00:31:25

I think she's directing the 28 days later. Not the newest one that's coming out.

Mike: 00:31:32

The part three, but the next one.

Cody: 00:31:35

Yeah, the part four. That's technically the part two.

Mike: 00:31:39

I've gone cross eyed.

Cody: 00:31:41

I'm looking at the title right now. Apparently they do have a subtitle on it. It's 28 years later. Part two, the Bone Temple.

Mike: 00:31:48

That sounds like a direct to video movie, don't that?

Cody: 00:31:52

It does. So it's the fourth installment in the series and it's being directed by Nia DaCosta, but the screenplay is still by Alex Garland and Danny Boyle.

Mike: 00:32:01

Fair enough.

Cody: 00:32:03

I hope they just filmed these all in a row because I'm always nervous we're never going to get like our parts two or three, and then they just leave you hanging.

Jamie: 00:32:11

Not everything can be the new strangers.

Mike: 00:32:14

Yeah. Or do it like. Do it like how the Strangers chapter one should have done and not film at all. I think that would have been a really good idea.

That would have been an interesting creative way to present the story is if they didn't film anything and we just never talked about it ever.

Cody: 00:32:38

Could have been an option. Good news, though. According to Wikipedia, principle of photography for part four, part two of the 28 years later franchise began filming August 19.

So it is underway. We are, in fact going to get this no matter what. That's cool. I like that. I like 28 days later the franchise.

I'm very curious to see what they do with it.

Mike: 00:33:04

I'm sorry, I'm very overtaken by whatever this performance is.

Jamie: 00:33:09

I love that. This movie just seems to be a sequence of Tony Todd being confronted by various women who look like amateur porn stars.

Mike: 00:33:20

And now he's making out the tod, sir getting lucky.

Jamie: 00:33:26

Oh, and now he's killing her. What a roller coaster of emotions.

Cody: 00:33:29

Oh, no, he's the bad guy. Oh, no, she's live.

Jamie: 00:33:34

Is he big?

Mike: 00:33:36

Is he big?

Jamie: 00:33:38

Imagine having the caliber with her hands around her throat.

Mike: 00:33:42

Yeah. Imagine having the caliber of act. Everybody's fucking bald. Everybody's from the future. They're all precogs.

Cody: 00:33:51

Bald guy in the background and bald guy in the foreground. It's great. This is the baldest movie I might have ever seen.

Mike: 00:33:57

Imagine getting the caliber of city.

Cody: 00:33:59

Yes.

Mike: 00:34:01

Sleep now. Imagine getting the caliber of actor of Tony Todd and then, like, having him play against what appears to be a softcore porn actress.

Cody: 00:34:12

Is this guy bull, too? Is Riley Bullae?

Mike: 00:34:23

It's a toupee.

Jamie: 00:34:24

Maybe that's how we can.

Cody: 00:34:26

This is how we tell who the killer is. Anyone with hair is a suspect because they're not part of the norm.

Mike: 00:34:33

Acap.

Cody: 00:34:35

I heard a card that was so cod, it makes me think this is actually Boston.

Jamie: 00:34:44

We're actually on little tall island from that Stephen King miniseries storm of the century.

Cody: 00:34:51

So I always feel bad deep down when we pick these little low budget, no budget movies and then just kind of rip on the whole time. Oh, no. Face girl. She's gone.

At least the mystery science theater guys can make them very funny, and they don't necessarily feel like they're talking down to the movie whole time. But here we are. I'm just laughing at the number of bald people in this thing, just thinking what happened.

Mike: 00:35:15

Well, according to the police, have affection.

Jamie: 00:35:17

For the movies we riff on.

Mike: 00:35:20

I love Jack. Oh, I love Jack. Oh, I love Gallows Hill.

Jamie: 00:35:25

By the way, can we please do commentary for the Jack O? Commentary. Where the director gets into a big fight with everybody.

Cody: 00:35:37

Okay, so we're back to the Twin Peaks woods. There's palace. Oh, we got a dead person in a tree.

Mike: 00:35:48

Who has no face.

Cody: 00:35:50

No face McGee or.

Mike: 00:35:52

Oh, you know what? She just. She put her face down in a raspberry PI once again. Jam.

Cody: 00:35:57

Oh, she's alive. Oh, it's a dream.

Mike: 00:36:01

I know. He's in a time loop.

Cody: 00:36:06

That's the frustrating thing with these effects. Like, there's a thin line between. Ooh, that's really creepy.

A woman with no face but saws her teeth, and she can open her eyes and laugh at you and not having a button for it to look like anything other than we just slapped a lot of red dye on a person's face.

Jamie: 00:36:22

It's bloody face.

Mike: 00:36:30

And we are in the half naked woman wandering around the director's house.

Cody: 00:36:36

I'm trying to think of bloodyface as an actual movie killer.

Jamie: 00:36:39

I feel like that's from a horror story.

Mike: 00:36:42

Yes. Okay.

Jamie: 00:36:45

It's not creative. So it's a Ryan Murphy name.

Mike: 00:36:48

Correct.

Cody: 00:36:49

I was talking to a friend about that, and he was suggesting american horror story seasons, and he kept saying the same thing, like, yeah, the first half's really good, but then it falls apart and it's like, okay, well, what are the ones? You're like, well, this one's really good. And then it falls apart in the second half.

It became one of those, like, hey, Sean, maybe we shouldn't be watching these. We know there's eight episodes and only four of them are going to be entertaining. Maybe it's a mistake to commit the time.

Jamie: 00:37:15

I will say entertainingly bad all the way through.

Mike: 00:37:19

That's true. Yes. Murder. I would love for us to do a bop on every episode of Murder House. That would be delightful.

Cody: 00:37:26

Murder House actually has some of my.

Jamie: 00:37:28

Favorite bad tv shows ever. It's a disaster piece.

Cody: 00:37:32

I would argue there's some, like, legit good moments in there.

Jamie: 00:37:36

Good ideas in there.

Mike: 00:37:38

Yeah, those are great ideas.

Cody: 00:37:40

I think there's a couple of spots where it all works pretty well. It's actually kind of disturbing.

Like, I guess spoilers to people who haven't seen the first season of American Horror Story, but when they find the daughter has actually died in the house several episodes previously, and she's a very good twist.

Mike: 00:37:55

That's a great.

Cody: 00:37:56

That one works wonderfully. Like, it's very disturbing to me that played so well because I didn't expect them to actually go that way.

Jamie: 00:38:01

It would be awesome if I cared about that character and didn't want to light her on fire.

Cody: 00:38:06

Well, you can't have the world. Hey, players sports bar. I have a players sports bar directly across my house. They have some of the best burgers in town. They don't.

Mike: 00:38:15

Look why they were on green screen when they were playing pool or why.

Jamie: 00:38:20

We went into that woman. We keep going into this woman's tits and ass for transitions.

Cody: 00:38:27

That's an interesting zoom. Yeah.

Mike: 00:38:32

Look so far. Pumpkin hole. This ain't.

Cody: 00:38:35

I have seen no pumpkins.

Mike: 00:38:38

I swear to God, if Mister Beg isn't wearing a pumpkin mask and we didn't watch the fucking hallmark movie, we can't.

Jamie: 00:38:47

We legally can sue to be for this. It's jeopardizing our business.

Cody: 00:38:52

The only problem is they get back to you and say, oh, we'll give you your money back. All $0 of it.

Jamie: 00:38:57

God damn it. It's the perfect crime.

Cody: 00:38:59

That's, uh. They know they can keep getting away with it. What is this, a fight on the dance floor? Hey, that bouncer stole the hair in the city.

Jamie: 00:39:12

Just a super villain with Ev, with every hair that's missing stacked up on top of each other so he looks like Legion on his throne.

Mike: 00:39:22

Oh, thank God he's got the mask.

Cody: 00:39:24

Oh, there we go. There's our pumpkin.

Mike: 00:39:26

Okay, we got a big ass pumpkin.

Jamie: 00:39:27

Big ass pumpkin.

Cody: 00:39:29

Big ass pumpkin. Big ass, big ass pumpkin.

Mike: 00:39:38

Okay, for a second, because I thought this was somebody making out with their own mirror reflection for a second, which.

Cody: 00:39:46

Would have been a fun twist. In the Twin Peaks woods, people are just making out with doppelgangers of themselves.

Jamie: 00:39:56

re just dressed like it's the: 1930

Mike: 00:40:01

I don't understand. Why are they. Why are they newsies?

Cody: 00:40:04

Let's do the time word again.

Mike: 00:40:07

What is this?

Cody: 00:40:10

This one we're right fest story? I left during Fallout boys set because I just don't care about Fallout boy.

But every person that was working one of, every person who was working one of the stands, you know, like, selling beer or whatever, was very clearly upset they were not in the fallout boy stands like they were. They're all singing along to all the lyrics and everything. So I'm just walking past these people, just longing for Fallout Boyden.

I turn a corner and I start walking to another stage where no FX is going to be playing. And the sound stops basically, as you cut the corner. You can't hear it fall out anymore.

And they start playing the intro music for no FX, which was just several songs from Rocky horror Picture show before they came out. It was much more my speed because I walked up for a beer and the bartender was too busy to serve me because they were just screaming out the lyrics.

So let's do the time warp again. And I'm like, no, no, no, you do you. I'm not going to rush you. Let it out and then give me my overpriced Tallboy.

Jamie: 00:41:08

Speaking of, you got fucking bamboozled by Polaris on this trip.

Cody: 00:41:15

Oh, I was so upset. I really thought it was going to be the adventures of Pete and Pete Polaris.

ter because they had, like, a: 03:00

Jamie: 00:41:33

I just thought that there are two polarises.

Cody: 00:41:35

Yeah, you can. You can find them both on Spotify. One is much more like hard rock. Not my thing.

I was always ready to have my nostalgia amped up, and the Pete's to party with me and there was nothing. It was. It was just a rock band.

Jamie: 00:41:50

You still should have stayed there and called out for hey Sandy at the end.

Cody: 00:41:58

Waiting for October, waiting for. And they just forcibly dragged me off. War beats the shit out of me to go back to Tv shows for 1 minute here.

I would like to talk about one that feels like it's on the opposite side of american horror story where each season is pretty satisfying. And that's Chucky the series.

I'm 30 minutes away from finishing season three right now, so we'll see how they pull it all together in those last 30 minutes. But boy, that show, it feels like it's all over the place but still coherent. It's an interesting mixed.

It takes all the Chucky slasher stuff we're used to, gives us some big, nasty, gnarly kills, but it also feels like it's trying to be a teen friendly kind of horror show at the same time. So it's like for adults but also aimed for children.

Jamie: 00:42:51

Yeah, I haven't had the chance to watch that yet, but I've seen a lot of clips and it seems to have captured the right formula for that kind of horror show that a lot of people have been trying to find for a really long time now.

Cody: 00:43:09

They get kind of wacky campy with it too. So it honors, you know, like seed of Chucky and all those kind of things.

Jamie: 00:43:15

Everything is canon. That's what I fucking love about it.

Cody: 00:43:18

Oh yes. No, it definitely goes back to every entry in the movie series and it's like, yes, let's remit so much Jennifer Tilly lore. One or two. A lot of.

Yeah, a lot of Jennifer Tillyev. So if you're into Chucky, it's pretty cool that you just got three seasons worth of television to really just expand on everything in that canon.

Jamie: 00:43:38

I like that Chucky is the character that gets to make it to House of reanimator territory and not Herbert west.

Cody: 00:43:48

It's also fun because you get Brad Durif out there and they occasionally have him do stuff where he's not just the voice of Chucky. Like he's just acting in the show. So that's fun. You have his daughter playing flashback versions of Brad Durif too.

Jamie: 00:44:03

Fiona Durif as Charles Lee Ray is one of the eeriest performances I've ever seen.

Cody: 00:44:13

It's like an uncanny valley thing where it's like, I know this isn't a computer generated thing. It's not a weird makeup. This just feels weird.

Jamie: 00:44:19

The closest thing I can compare it to is the episode of Orange is the new black where they got Laverne Cox's twin brother to play her before transition.

Cody: 00:44:28

But yeah, it's wild. And also, Fiona Dorf plays her character from the movie series as well. So she's in it multiple times.

It's wild how they're like, no, people can be in the cast multiple times. It doesn't matter. We're not going to be sticklers about that.

Jamie: 00:44:50

Chucky stands up for queer rights. It's awesome.

Cody: 00:44:53

He does. Yeah, this is big points. Like, I'm not a monster. Devon Sawa plays like eight different characters throughout the first three seasons.

And they don't even, like, try to disguise him like they put on. They put him basically just in a different costume each time. That's good enough. Like, this time it's a suit. This time it's a mechanics overalls.

There you go. He's back. Different guy. It's shameless. But you don't even care. You know what's coming. So it's just good.

Mike: 00:45:19

Always a cousin of himself.

Cody: 00:45:23

No, sometimes totally unrelated. I think he plays a priest in season two, if I'm remembering right. And three, he's the president.

Mike: 00:45:29

Distant cousins.

Jamie: 00:45:31

Well, one thing I will spoil about that show just because of how fucking amazing this is to me in light of, like, what we talked about in our commentaries, I love that Don Mancini has had such a character arc with the voodoo aspect of Chucky that he's gone from deeply resenting it to writing a dialogue for Dambala.

Cody: 00:45:55

Oh, Dambala is a central piece of season three. Light. Spoilers for the season. Chucky is basically forsaken by Dumbala and has to get back on the God's good side.

So that's like the thrust of the whole season. Chucky just trying to make good with, like, a voodoo God of evil.

Jamie: 00:46:16

Mike. Mike. Mike. Damballa tells Chucky there's no more love in his violence. I wanted to second zedd watched that clip.

I wanted to stop it and just immediately text.

Mike: 00:46:31

I'm so happy.

Cody: 00:46:35

So, folks, if you're looking for a tv show to get into this October, I would really recommend Chucky. Uh, again, I haven't seen the last 30 minutes of season three, so maybe I'll just be very pissed off here. But, uh, so far so good.

I want to comment in the previous scene, this is the darkest police precinct I've ever seen.

Mike: 00:46:56

Yeah, I was about to say why? Why is there just no light bulbs.

Cody: 00:46:59

Anywhere in the previous scene, though? I really love that they just had teamwork underlined three times on a whiteboard. Nothing else. Just teamwork.

Jamie: 00:47:06

Need it now be bout the Springfield police department. Like, we're not gonna. We're not gonna survive out there unless we work together as a team. Damn it.

Mike: 00:47:22

I'm sorry, but the. This lanky guy, it doesn't feel like that's his actual body, but the lens is making him look that way. It's so weird.

Cody: 00:47:32

He's been laughing.

Mike: 00:47:33

He looks like Abe Sapiena.

Cody: 00:47:36

Be nice to Duck Jones. I'm stunned. One, that we're 32 minutes into this movie already. 33 minutes. Jesus Christ. Two.

That there's an hour 13 left of this and there's been one kill.

Mike: 00:47:57

Two.

Cody: 00:47:58

Two.

Mike: 00:47:58

There's been two kills.

Cody: 00:47:59

Okay.

Mike: 00:48:01

Three if you count a dream.

Cody: 00:48:03

I do not. I never count dream kills.

Mike: 00:48:06

And there has been two.

Jamie: 00:48:09

Why are they the entire 1st 30 minutes of Halloween?

Mike: 00:48:12

Two, this is a very to be movie. I say that in the nicest way possible. We should do a series like it came from to be.

Cody: 00:48:25

You could. I mean, they do have a thousand different movies to pull from.

Jamie: 00:48:30

We call it to be fair.

Cody: 00:48:32

Oh, I like it. Ooh. Do you think it's illegal to make a movie in Salem or about Salem and not do it on the witches?

Mike: 00:48:44

I would like a movie to have the balls to have a movie that takes place in Salem. Says Salem every, like every other fucking word. Doesn't bring up witches once.

Jamie: 00:48:56

It's about werewolves.

Cody: 00:48:57

I was gonna say it should be a switcheroo. You think it's about witches the whole time? Aliens, third act. You've got greys all over the place. I mean, I get it.

If you're making a movie in Salem, it's gonna be witches. Everyone expects witches. That's why you're setting it in Salem. But it also seems outplayed at this point.

Everyone already knows it's gonna be something which related. I guess in this case they are trying to do that. Right, is it's a slasher film. It's just set in witch county.

Mike: 00:49:28

How many, like really good, like legitimately terrifying witch movies are there?

Cody: 00:49:35

We're counting the Blair witch films, I'm assuming.

Mike: 00:49:38

Yes.

Cody: 00:49:38

Okay, there's the witch.

Mike: 00:49:41

The witch, which is autopsy of Jane Doe.

Cody: 00:49:44

Autopsy Jane Doe. Spoilers for people that have seen the autopsy Jane Doe. There's. There's a couple other ones out, I guess. Scooby Doo and the witch's ghost again.

For the right young crowd, that one can be a little scary.

Mike: 00:49:56

Black.

Jamie: 00:49:57

Is it.

Mike: 00:49:59

Black Sabbath? More of like a that's witchy. It's witchy. It's hard because you could go either vampire or witch with it.

Cody: 00:50:08

I think witch before I think vampire.

Mike: 00:50:10

So do I. So do I. I want to go with witch.

Cody: 00:50:14

What other one? Obviously not totally scary. Again, maybe to the right young crowd, but hocus pocus. I mean, that's a pretty quality witch one. Same with Peranorman.

I think Peranorman probably gets a little more intense during its climax than.

Mike: 00:50:27

That's an anti witch movie, though. Like, there is no actual witch.

Cody: 00:50:31

I mean, there's a little girl with magical powers.

Mike: 00:50:35

Yes, but that's only because she was accused of being a witchen.

Cody: 00:50:38

Did they accuse her? Which, because she had magic powers. No, I feel like she just, like, didn't murder.

Mike: 00:50:45

It was a very autopsy of Jane Doe thing. Honestly.

Cody: 00:50:49

What else is there?

Jamie: 00:50:50

The story is still going on.

Cody: 00:50:52

Yeah.

Mike: 00:50:53

Yeah. The scene just goes on forever, apparently. Yeah.

Jamie: 00:50:57

We would have learned so much about Angela by now if this were a sleepaway camp movie.

Cody: 00:51:04

Oh, Gretel and Hansel. I really. I like that one.

Mike: 00:51:08

Great poll. Yeah.

Cody: 00:51:09

Not necessarily frightening, but I love visually, it's fantastic.

Mike: 00:51:14

It's very unsettling. Gretel and Hansel like it just like, it's really off kilter.

Cody: 00:51:21

Plus, Alice Krieg is just fascinating to watch. The witches in Macbeth, the Coen brothers version two, I think she also plays the witch there. The three weird sisters.

Again, a phenomenal performance. That movie is so good, and it's a shame. It's on, like, an Apple TV exclusive, so no one will ever talk about it or see it.

Mike: 00:51:48

It's okay. That was just a sound effect being played over the film.

Cody: 00:51:54

Jesus. Screech owls, witches on the thing.

Mike: 00:51:59

Right. Meanwhile, why are we getting. Why are we getting, like, establishing shot, like, title cards now, like, halfway through the fucking movie?

Jamie: 00:52:08

Hell of an establishing shot, too.

Cody: 00:52:10

I mean, you can now do something. You could get away with that in, like, a seventies horror movie. I think when they're at a little slower pace, like, you could just be like.

And now we're at this house where the murders will happen. Not gym guy.

Jamie: 00:52:34

Oh, God. Speaking of establishing shots, Zedd and I were fucking rolling a few weeks ago because we were watching it.

Mike: 00:52:48

What the fuck? Oh, no.

Cody: 00:52:50

All the hot girls want the hot tub.

Mike: 00:52:54

The saxophone.

Cody: 00:52:55

The saxophone in the score really sells it.

Mike: 00:52:58

The tiki torch. Jesus Christ.

Cody: 00:53:01

Did we stumble into a soft core porn?

Mike: 00:53:03

I think so.

Cody: 00:53:04

I don't think we've ever stuffed out.

Jamie: 00:53:06

Of the pot tub and start stabbing them.

Mike: 00:53:10

Oh, my horny is murderous.

Cody: 00:53:14

I mean, that is the plot of a lot of.

Mike: 00:53:17

That's true.

Cody: 00:53:19

Say cheese with my world's shittiest smartphone camera.

Mike: 00:53:22

What the hell was with the weird flip phone?

Cody: 00:53:24

Also, why is: 2011

Mike: 00:53:25

That's what sex with three women. And you instead chose to get out and take a picture.

Cody: 00:53:32

Pictures last forever.

Mike: 00:53:33

Oh, he's not having any of this.

Cody: 00:53:35

Oh, no. At least he went out on top.

Mike: 00:53:38

Of the world and then he just walks away. Did he just. Wait, okay, let me just get this straight. So he was about to have a foursome?

Yeah, but instead he took a picture and then left to walk into the woods to have a phone call with somebody to tell them about the fact he was about to have a foursome.

Cody: 00:53:59

Yeah, I think he was bragging about the almost foursome. Or maybe he was supposed to be like, ooh, implied he had the foursome. And this is sometime later he was calling the police.

Jamie: 00:54:08

Get all these hot women out of here.

Cody: 00:54:11

Don't you know it's dangerous? There's a pumpkin headed man murdering people in these woods.

Mike: 00:54:17

Goes against my mormonism.

Jamie: 00:54:21

Yeah.

A few weeks ago, my partner and I were watching a movie on Tubelee of roughly this aesthetic where the director kept using as his establishing shot for the main location a dumpster outside the building. Just the exact same static shot of the dumpster outside the warehouse the movie took place in.

Cody: 00:54:46

Oh, there we. Sorry, we just. We actually had like a good kill gag with the machete stuck in the head.

Mike: 00:54:50

That was a good one.

Cody: 00:54:52

Yeah. Simple but effective.

Mike: 00:54:55

Wait. Oh, I thought that was a tea kettle going off.

Cody: 00:55:00

I thought it was a harmonica.

Mike: 00:55:02

It's weird. You gotta let that steep.

Cody: 00:55:09

Nah.

Mike: 00:55:16

Did they just take pictures of the three of them like the Polaroid, and then just throw them in the background to make it look like they lived there?

Cody: 00:55:23

Production value.

Jamie: 00:55:27

Pretty daylight in there.

Cody: 00:55:29

We're really changing tracks though, because it just went from like, sleazy almost summer camp slasher because we had that long campfire tale and the murder in the hot tub. And now it's switching over to, like, co ed killer style where this girl is. Oh, I have to stay at home and study for a biology exam and.

Mike: 00:55:45

The most un sorority house looking sorority house I have ever seen.

Cody: 00:55:49

This is just some house she's renting. This is not a sorority.

Mike: 00:55:54

It said Delta house.

Jamie: 00:55:55

You eat.

Cody: 00:55:56

It's true. It says Delta house, but they can't make me believe it. Yeah. Yeah. That's such a good way to phrase this place.

Mike: 00:56:04

I think this is the house from resident evil seven.

Cody: 00:56:11

Looks a little smaller. Oddly enough, though, I do really like these insert shots of her locking and closing the door. Like, on her hand.

They almost feel like something out of. Are you afraid? Dark. Like, the intro credits done. It makes.

Mike: 00:56:30

So does she not see that, like, sitting right there?

Cody: 00:56:32

Big? Uh, it's inked. No, uh, that. That really bad jump scares thing really does make you appreciate how good John Carpenter was at that same trick.

It's easy to say it's cheap because it's just playing scary music when, like, a mysterious person walks past the frame, but his would actually get you to jump. Like, when it happens in the thing when Fuchs is by himself and the power goes out and you get that sting of the thing walking by the screen.

That's effective. Like, it actually kind of gets you, makes you jump.

This one tried to do the same thing, but, like, five times worse, and it didn't have any impact whatsoever.

Mike: 00:57:14

This movie is making me tired of asses.

Jamie: 00:57:17

I was about to say, this is our second shower butt so far. We're getting one each act.

Cody: 00:57:24

I'm sorry. I hear Mike say, this movie makes me tired of asses, and I just immediately hear Johnny cash, like, I hurt myself today.

See if I still feel like just the saddest thing you've ever heard a man say in his life. This movie made me tired of asses. I'm hanging it up. The rodeo's over. Anarchy.

Jamie: 00:57:51

It's where I sleep.

Cody: 00:57:54

Was that. What is that? Nightstand. Is that just a porcelain monkey with a hole in its head? Is it wearing a tie? Is this donkey Kong?

Mike: 00:58:01

What? Why is there just, like, a teddy bear hanging from the ceiling?

Cody: 00:58:05

Because she's darkest.

Jamie: 00:58:10

You say?

Mike: 00:58:11

Like, I've never dated a chick like this. Oh, yeah, linger on.

Cody: 00:58:19

That shot.

Jamie: 00:58:21

That's actually a cigarette. She's just choosing to smoke it like a joint to look cool to herself.

Mike: 00:58:26

Yeah, she rolled it like a cowboy. I'm glad she's able to have fun by herself.

Cody: 00:58:40

Remember, this was before we had the Internet to enter joy to entertain us. Oh, it's just an ashtray on top of what appears to be a porcelain monkey. The resolution is not good enough in my copy to tell what it appears.

Mike: 00:58:53

To be a porcelain monkey. You should own that monkey. It's very.

Cody: 00:58:57

I mean, I am kind of fascinated by it.

Mike: 00:59:01

No, don't leave the room because I want to see more. Okay. Thankfully, we're still seeing the monkey.

Cody: 00:59:08

Oh, no. That guy just walked into a room.

Mike: 00:59:11

She's very nonplussed about it.

Jamie: 00:59:13

He just found a goth chick to kill.

Cody: 00:59:16

Why did we cut to the lamp for a second? Like, there was just one shot of the lamp for no reason.

Mike: 00:59:24

So we spent a lot of time with this goth chick for, like, just for that.

Cody: 00:59:29

Instantly down this Panasonic pans over to.

Jamie: 00:59:34

John Malkovich as fw. More now. So have I established pathos?

Cody: 00:59:42

Do you think we're gonna get more Tony Todd anytime soon?

Jamie: 00:59:45

No, but he loved her.

Cody: 00:59:50

So we're gonna find out the end. Tony Todd's behind the mask. Is that how they're justifying that?

Mike: 00:59:54

Where does Michael Berryman come in?

Jamie: 00:59:56

And at this point, the killer better be PJ souls.

Cody: 01:00:03

Uh oh. Trash is putting her clothes on again.

Mike: 01:00:08

God, this is a cramped fucking room, lady. Get a smaller bed.

Cody: 01:00:17

Oh, no.

Mike: 01:00:20

Are we just cutting the corpses we've already seen just to remind us that, yes, he has killed people in this movie?

Cody: 01:00:26

Yep, this guy is stealthier than Hitman 47. Like, he has just aced most of this house. And the girl on the couch has not even noticed what's going on.

Mike: 01:00:43

She still has not noticed the fucking thing that says beg sitting on the. You must be so disappointed. Like, no, you were supposed to see that.

Cody: 01:00:53

This is why we need more Leslie Vernon, because that would definitely be a part of one of those where he's just leaving notes up and people are ignoring them.

Mike: 01:01:00

I'm also fascinated the sorority house hung an american flag outside.

Cody: 01:01:07

Yeah, why not?

Jamie: 01:01:08

So, Mike, I'm just imagining this killer. Becky, I'm gonna call him from now on.

Just having to be like that one everyman hybrid video where they had to come out of the woods and tell people, you're supposed to open this thing.

Mike: 01:01:36

Can we get those guys on Bop?

Jamie: 01:01:39

I feel like Evan would. Would like the show. He'd vibe with. He'd wear the hat.

Mike: 01:01:45

Yes.

Jamie: 01:01:48

It was very wonderful watching that slender verse documentary that. That came out a couple of months ago and seeing him show up with the death proof hat and acknowledge, yep, I still got the hat.

Mike: 01:02:04

I still got to watch that duck I keep forgetting about.

Jamie: 01:02:07

Oh, it's so good. They go into so much. They go into so much detail. You get extended reactions to how the community dealt with the beware the slender man documentary.

There is extended talk about why the slender burst is so very, very gay for no reason phenomenon. That's a phenomenon people will be studying on the Internet for years.

Why did so many people discover their gender identities through Slenderman tv shows?

Cody: 01:02:49

As a very casual slender man knower, I did not realize that was part of the Slender man experience.

Mike: 01:02:57

Oh, yeah.

Cody: 01:02:59

You learned something.

Jamie: 01:03:00

Cryptids in general have a huge following in the queer community. So creepypasta stuff in general, like, there's a huge overlap there.

For whatever reason, both the people who made slenderverse shows and their fan base there being a lot of overlap between like, specifically like, trans and non binary people.

And then including like one of the biggest creators of a slender man show ended up transitioning like halfway through after listening to people like, constantly telling her, your show helped me discover myself somehow.

Cody: 01:03:43

See, I had.

Jamie: 01:03:44

Nobody knows why. It's just a thing that happened.

Cody: 01:03:46

All right. Yeah. I always thought it was just like the Babadook joke where like the Babadook became a gay icon for no reason.

Mike: 01:03:54

It has to be kind of like a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy, right? Like the train starts moving so that it just becomes gravity.

Jamie: 01:04:03

Why does every trans girl play fallout new Vegas? We just do. Also, I'm sorry. This was in testing this movie, I took a screencap of specifically this shot and showed it to the guys.

Like, this is what we're in for. The most dimly lit high school you've ever seen.

Mike: 01:04:24

This is like the world of pulse.

Cody: 01:04:26

I can't see shit in this movie. It really bums me out. Okay.

Mike: 01:04:33

And now he has a chainsaw. Bigster, come on.

Cody: 01:04:38

This is one thing I did appreciate about the huge wave of found footage movies. Even if you couldn't really light a scene, amazingly it was expected because people were filming it on shitty cameras. So it just adds the atmosphere.

When you're trying to make a traditional horror movie and nothing is litanous, you either wonder, like, did we accidentally wander into the set of alien versus predator requiem, or did they just not have five cents to buy like a floodlight? Like, just go to your dad's garage and steal one of the lights he uses when he's working on his cars. It will help so much.

Mike: 01:05:12

At a certain point, just use the regular lights that are in the room because at least that's something. It won't look good, but it will look better than darkness.

Cody: 01:05:21

Which way are we going here? Would it be better to accidentally harshly overlight everything so it looks very cheap or under light everything so we assume it's cheap.

Jamie: 01:05:29

Always go with overlighting. Over under lighting. I feel overlighting at least can be a style.

Under lighting just makes it look like you're fucking afraid to show people your movie.

Mike: 01:05:40

Yeah. Also just depressing to look at.

Cody: 01:05:44

So I feel about pretty much every modern movie when they do a nighttime scene. I really miss when it used to just be implied darkness. And then everything was basically lit. Fine.

Mike: 01:05:52

Yeah.

Cody: 01:05:53

Now it's like, no, no, it's actually pitch black. The actors are blind and it's.

Mike: 01:05:58

I like a good balance. Like, I don't like it when it's every movie, but I do like a good, like, actually pitch black, darling.

Jamie: 01:06:06

Horror. And you're like, you deep. You need absolute blackness. Like in a conjuring movie or something. That's one thing.

When I'm watching an action scene, it's like the fucking opening of Thor. I get pissed off. Yeah, like, God damn it. Some animator didn't see his kids karate tournament to animate the scene.

A bunch of artificial shadow over it for Duroci. Fuck you.

Cody: 01:06:36

I know the DP for Game of Thrones got pissy about everyone complaining that no one could see anything in the big climatic, you know, battle of Winterfell scene.

But also that was some bullshit that after, like, ten years of watching the show, we get to a gigantic climactic battle and no one could tell what the fuck was going on.

Mike: 01:06:57

You know? Still, the craziest thing is it looked perfectly fine for me.

Cody: 01:07:02

I've never even had it on Blu ray and I was watching it. I'm like, this still is dark as fuck. Like, I.

The only time I've been able to enjoy it is like, if I'm watching on tv and I just start fucking with the settings to really crank up contrast.

Jamie: 01:07:14

Honestly, picture is becoming a lot like sound mixing in movies where they're kind of just leaving it up to you to figure it out for your particular television.

Mike: 01:07:24

Sound mixing is terrible these days. Yeah, sound mixing is really fucking bad.

Jamie: 01:07:31

Also the blue lights just reflecting off that dude's bald head is beautiful.

Cody: 01:07:36

Beautiful. The dope.

Mike: 01:07:39

We found out recently that Chris Nolan is like, oh, yeah, I don't do Adrhe. Like, oh, this explains everything.

Cody: 01:07:45

Yeah. I've always wondered if Chris Nolan was just a little deaf and that's how, like, a lot of this just slips by him.

Like, he can't tell the difference, so he thinks it's good.

Jamie: 01:07:56

So, you know who else does an ADR? Ron Howard. It's like when you realize Scorsese doesn't give a shit about continuity, you just start noticing it everywhere.

Mike: 01:08:08

Ron Howard also at least doesn't make loud shit.

Cody: 01:08:12

He's done a race car movie.

Mike: 01:08:16

Yeah, but still, it was mostly like, I would not still not constitute, like, that is loud.

Cody: 01:08:25

Rush has moments where, like, the sound design is pretty important to the experience of, like, you know, having a panic attack inside your race car.

Mike: 01:08:31

Yeah, yeah. But to me, then that, like, that adds to it to a degree. Nolan just does loud talking scenes that then you can't hear.

Cody: 01:08:40

Yeah.

Mike: 01:08:43

I mean, so much of bane suddenly made sense. Like, oh, that's literally just what he sounded like on set.

Cody: 01:08:48

I get there's.

Jamie: 01:08:48

Except for the one time you super AdR'd him from the beginning.

Cody: 01:08:52

Yeah, I understand.

You know, everyone's gonna have different philosophies when making movies, but I still scratch my head whenever Nolan, like, tries to justify any of his sound choices, because they never quite make sense to me when he explains.

Mike: 01:09:04

No, his sound choices in Dunkirk are puzzling. I love that movie, but I just accept that I will not hear dialogue in it.

Cody: 01:09:15

I think this must be what it's like if you're a big fan of JJ Abrams and you just have to live with the lens flares, like, no, no, it's whatever. It's not necessary. Yes, but it's fine.

Jamie: 01:09:27

I will forever maintain the lens flares in. In the first. Star Trek are an interesting stylistic choice. The lens bursts, on the other hand, are what is absolutely obnoxious in that movie.

Cody: 01:09:42

Yeah, I think it's the abundance of them.

You can whip that tool out a couple of times and sell your point, but with the number it happens, it almost feels like he's kind of making a joke about it. Especially like in later ones, where you come back to that filming idea.

Jamie: 01:09:54

Well, it didn't help that everyone aped that. So we just.

For, like, five years straight, every movie had to have the camera rotating over a character's shoulder, and then the sun bursts into the camera, which, again, so much discourse about Star Trek could have been simplified if more people just knew the difference between a lens flare and a lens burst, because so, so many people were talking past each other in that conversation for that reason.

Cody: 01:10:24

That's fair.

Jamie: 01:10:25

Also, I like the giallo killer here.

Mike: 01:10:29

With mask on, by the way, in broad daylight.

Cody: 01:10:31

But if I can go back to complaining things that stop being interesting, complain about about a decade and a half ago, to a similar degree, the amount of aping of Bourne identity film style, everyone wanted to make it the same way Greenbrass did, where you just have that ultra shaky cam for action, which worked really well in the Bourne identity movies. And then by, like, Bourne three, he was already starting to feel a little bit too cliche and everyone else was just doing it poorly.

Jamie: 01:11:04

We got the combination of the shaky campfights and robot fighting, which is in the Bourne movies, for a specific reason, and then everyone just ate that fighting style.

Mike: 01:11:14

Yeah. As soon as we saw Bond doing it, we knew something was going wrong.

Cody: 01:11:23

Drinking game. Every time you see someone putting on their costume, he got a drink.

Mike: 01:11:28

You'd be dead by now.

Cody: 01:11:30

You'd be dead. And then he wouldn't have to watch the remaining. Oh, no, there's still 50.

Mike: 01:11:34

Don't keep Ted. Don't keep reminding me how much more of this movie is fucking left. At least it takes place on Halloween at some point, I guess.

Cody: 01:11:42

I think there's a man wearing. So I see some kind of corn things. There's a guy dressed up, I believe is Jason from Friday 13th, part two.

Jamie: 01:11:51

That's just Jason. You just hang it up.

Cody: 01:11:53

Oh, there we go.

Jamie: 01:11:54

We've got people of other movies, of better movies.

Mike: 01:12:00

Sorry, all you beg fans out.

Cody: 01:12:04

Oh, God, there's so much Tito's in that thing. Oh, Jesus. That thing is just alcohol. There's no punch in there.

Jamie: 01:12:09

Well, he couldn't see. There's no eye holes in that. Ghost. Get up.

Mike: 01:12:13

This is a date rate party, isn't it?

Cody: 01:12:15

What do we. I think we have a pimp at one end of the table. There's a guy that's, I think, just a beer bone. No, he's a keg. He's a keg.

My mistake is that you have Cody, cheerleader. I've never done the. The bone costume or the beard keg costume. I like.

Mike: 01:12:28

Oh, he actually has beer. That's really neat.

Cody: 01:12:31

Yeah, that'd be a fun costume for a party. There's a little pumpkin inside that pumpkin.

Mike: 01:12:39

That's. That's cool. She's not wearing a costume at all. That was interesting.

Cody: 01:12:44

Okay, we got a.

Mike: 01:12:46

And back to fucking.

Cody: 01:12:47

Okay, so, um, there's a pumpkin in the room, though. Hey, pumpkins.

Mike: 01:12:52

Didn't we see her diary?

Cody: 01:12:55

Uh, different.

Jamie: 01:12:56

Are almost identical in this movie.

Mike: 01:12:58

I don't understand. Why does everyone look so fucking bored?

Cody: 01:13:01

Oh, Keg guy already gave him his costume and drunkenly stumbled out of frame. Oh, he's back in the frame.

Mike: 01:13:05

Why is the outdoor party. Why is the outdoor party lit so well? The madness on this chick's face pucker up.

Jamie: 01:13:19

No, he has a practical costume.

Mike: 01:13:23

I like their mugs. Did he start laughing at his own joke before it cut away?

Cody: 01:13:34

I think so.

Mike: 01:13:35

Okay.

Cody: 01:13:36

That I like them too long to dry him off. So they really had to just stick with that take.

Jamie: 01:13:41

I like the static shock of that girl just staring at the ceiling, wondering about her life choices.

Cody: 01:13:49

Briefly turns into Daria for a moment.

Mike: 01:13:56

Do you ever just, like when watching a movie like this. Do you just think of, like, the cast members of this movie are somewhere out there right now?

Like they existed previously, like they went on their lives after filming this. Like they're people who do. They make decisions?

Jamie: 01:14:12

Oh, God, I love hearing interviews from actors who do movies like this where they're just like, yeah, we just got the script on the day and we all just kind of sighed and said, well, we'll be done by the end of the week.

Mike: 01:14:33

She had her shirt on .5 seconds.

Cody: 01:14:37

Yep.

Jamie: 01:14:38

I feel like today you also have the added fact of occasionally looking at scripts and wondering, okay, is this chat? GPT oh, weird. Tick tock content now.

Mike: 01:14:51

A lot of tick tock content at this point. Considering some of the shit I have seen in my life, I almost feel like it would do a better job because what is this?

Cody: 01:15:04

I see stuff like this, and I really think, though, it's, you know, filmmaker's first movie maybe, or one of his earlier ones, so he's still learning on the go. It might just be intended for a smaller audience. Like, hey, I'm making something to basically entertain my friends. It might be made by his friends.

So, like, the fact that people like us are watching this a decade, sometime after it came out, was not intended. I give him a lot of benefit of the doubt.

Mike: 01:15:29

I try.

I do not like to overly dunk, but I do think there is this magical quality whenever you're watching a movie from someone who appears to be from another planet.

Jamie: 01:15:44

Things like samurai cop.

Mike: 01:15:46

Yes, samurai cop, troll two.

The room, like all the classics, is just like, people who, like, you know how movies work because you're making one, so you you must have watched them at some point or just, you know, how people talk and interact because you're a person on this planet, right? No, you're you're a fry cook on Venus.

Cody: 01:16:09

I think we undervalue how hard it is to act in these things or how hard it is to write dialogue that sounds like a human would say it.

Jamie: 01:16:18

Oh, there is an absolute art. This is like 50% of the conversations my partner and I have watching because we watch a lot of movies of this style. Just like, zero budget.

Like, two B slashers. Movies like this are insanely watchable whenever you're doing other shit.

And if picked up, there is a very specific art to being a victim in a crappy slasher movie, particularly being the designated bimbo of one of these movies. Like, I feel like there should be, like, in the same way that there's, like, schools for Elvis impersonators.

There should be like a finishing school for bimbo actresses, because when you see someone doing a really bad job of being the dumb, hot girl who dies in the third act, you notice in the same way that, like, actors like Christopher Walken and Malcolm McDowell have found an art form in taking the worst material in the world and giving it gravitas. There's some. I think there's definitely an unsung skill in taking a.

The absolute gibberish people in movies like these have to say, and not making the dialogue sing, but making it entertainingly bad and entertainingly campy instead of just making you want to stab your ears out.

Cody: 01:18:07

And now for some of that shining dialogue.

Mike: 01:18:11

I will say, I don't think this movie knows how a main character works because I keep forgetting this dude is our main character.

Cody: 01:18:20

He'll pop out of the movie for like, 20 minutes while Mister Beg is just murdering people, which I guess is kind of like a slasher staple. But normally the main character isn't the cop who is not actually on the trail of the murders.

Mike: 01:18:32

He's fishing. I don't understand.

Cody: 01:18:34

Victim again. He's. He's trying to decide if he wants to be retired or not.

Mike: 01:18:51

This young guy here looks like a guest star for vip. Remember that show? That was a thing. Remember UPN?

Cody: 01:19:03

I do remember UPN for the days.

Mike: 01:19:08

Miss UPN.

Cody: 01:19:09

I don't particularly miss UPN that much, but if it makes you happy, that's good.

Mike: 01:19:15

I miss Saturday movie.

Cody: 01:19:18

I really miss the Sci-Fi channel. Original movies from, like, every Friday night.

Mike: 01:19:23

Man, that was a time.

Cody: 01:19:25

That was a wonderful stretch. I mean, those. Oh, those are movies that are bad enough to be fun. They knew what they had to do.

They got in, they got out there just long enough so they got their commercials into place and everyone was happy.

Mike: 01:19:39

The period before, like, those movies got to, like, shark depos and shit like that, where they were to try hard at that point, but before that, ugh. So good. That's when we got the fucking, like, man thing movie. That was one of those.

Cody: 01:19:57

I still go to bat even though I saw it, like, once when I was a younger man. Chupacabra, dark seas. That was like the right level of stupid camp for me where I'm like, yes, I'm having fun.

And I know this is not like capital C Cinema, but it doesn't matter.

Mike: 01:20:13

I still remember the winner of the first season of who wants to be a superhero? Oh, shit. Because remember, he was supposed to get, like, his own movie. Of course, the entire show was scripted anyway.

But the only thing they gave him, though, was he died at the very beginning of, like, a giant anaconda movie or something like that. And he's just, like, eaten in one of the first scenes. Like, he's doing, like, he is his superhero character.

So a superhero just exists in that universe with superpowers, and he's just eaten by, like, a giant snake or something.

Jamie: 01:20:55

I. I love that they wrote themselves into the corner of having to give a feedback. His own movie. The dude whose power was going inside of video games.

You may. It's a fake show. You did that to yourself.

Mike: 01:21:12

You did this.

Cody: 01:21:15

I just miss the era of channels being all gung ho about making their.

Mike: 01:21:21

Own original movies that were, yes, their own brand.

Cody: 01:21:24

Probably going to be bad, but you got a new one, like, either every month or every week. So it was just appointment viewing.

Disney Channel did this for years, and it was very exciting to me growing up, especially when it'd be the Halloween ones. So you get, like, Halloweentown three, or you would get a don't look under the bed. Yeah. Phantom of the megaplex. I wish.

It's one of my biggest dreams that Disney would just put all those out on a dvd collector set. So you just got, like, ten of those movies slapped together. They don't have to have special features. I just want them.

Mike: 01:21:55

It's still wild. I can stream those now. Despite the fact they were, like, so fucking hard to find. Yeah, like, I'm having a bootleg. Don't look under the bed now.

It's like I can just watch it at any point.

Cody: 01:22:08

Is that one actually on Disney right now? I thought, like, they were taking it on and taking it off kind of bounced around.

Mike: 01:22:13

No, it's on there.

Jamie: 01:22:14

If I remember correctly, the only Disney Channel original movie that was not added to Disney plus was the original under wraps to not over, like, override the under wraps remake they were doing for some reason. Like, that's where they were fucking bat embargo about it. But we can't have two under wraps.

Cody: 01:22:38

On the books if we get confusing.

Mike: 01:22:40

I think they've since put it on there because no one cared about the under wraps remake. That was just under wraps.

Cody: 01:22:48

The under wraps remake got a sequel, so apparently someone cared about it. Oh, it did. It did. Soccer back to Tony Todd.

Jamie: 01:22:56

Better do miss soccer.

Mike: 01:22:59

Monster.

Cody: 01:22:59

Monkey.

Mike: 01:23:00

Monkey. Mommy.

Jamie: 01:23:05

I'm just happy that up, up and away is on Disney, meaning Disney isn't burying it anymore so that people don't know that there was something before sky high, you know, that that million dollar.

Mike: 01:23:21

Franchise Mister Boogity's on there.

Jamie: 01:23:25

Oh, weird and bride.

Cody: 01:23:26

Actually, Disney put Mister bookity and Bride boogie out on DVD's. I bought those through the Disney movie Channel movie club. They are almost unwatchable because they did absolutely nothing to clean them up.

And they're on DVD's. The resolution isn't there?

Mike: 01:23:42

Mm hmm.

Cody: 01:23:43

They look like they taped them off of Disney Channel and just put them onto a disc.

Mike: 01:23:47

There's no way they kept the originals of that, right?

Cody: 01:23:50

Oh, I can't believe. Because why the fuck was of it? That'd be fascinating if they did. They could make like a Mister boogity blu ray or something.

Anyways, I have such a fondness for those movies, and it's a shame more of them aren't available. Tower of terror. That actually got like a dvd release. And you'll see that in target almost every year.

So I think that one has a little bit more cultural awareness than most of the others. Same with Halloween town. I think all of those have been put out on dvd.

Mike: 01:24:21

Yeah, they still market Halloweentown up the ass.

Cody: 01:24:24

I wonder how much money Halloweentown brings in to this day.

Mike: 01:24:29

They had a fucking show like that. Had to be like a juggernaut at some point.

Cody: 01:24:33

Yeah, I always wondered that though, because it was obviously big when it came out, but it's been so many years and now it's just like a nostalgia thing for us. Like, probably don't care about Halloween town, do they? But I wonder because, like, they keep putting the dvd's out, so they must be selling.

Jamie: 01:24:48

There has to be a lot of parents who still show those to their kids.

Cody: 01:24:52

Oh, yeah.

Mike: 01:24:53

I don't understand why that doesn't play on, like, free form. Freeform will play, like, the same eight movies, but doesn't get, like, any of those to play.

Cody: 01:25:07

Sorry, I'm stuck on the list of Sci-Fi channel original movies.

Mike: 01:25:12

All great types.

Cody: 01:25:13

Two lava, two lantula, the sequel to Lava Lanceula. Oh, we've got more strippers.

Mike: 01:25:21

Solve a murder.

Cody: 01:25:24

Holy shit. Okay, so there's two headed shark attack. And I was aware they made a sequel. Three headed shark attack.

They skipped four headed shark attack and went to five headed shark attack. And then there was a six headed shark attack. Apparently there's no information on Wikipedia about this movie other than it exists.

It's on the list of movies that were made, but there's no, like, sub page to explain it.

Mike: 01:25:47

But they can make a prequel now.

Cody: 01:25:49

One headed shark attack.

Mike: 01:25:50

Yeah.

Cody: 01:25:54

So many of these. This is a bummer. So many of these don't have, like, actual pages.

So I'm assuming they're either, like, lost to time or, boy, someone's got, like, a DVD copy somewhere that went out of print I. 15 years ago. And that's the only way you'll ever see airplane versus volcano.

Jamie: 01:26:12

I'm gonna be honest. I think the volcano is gonna win.

Cody: 01:26:15

Yeah. You know, if I'm picking sides.

Jamie: 01:26:19

Well, they look at Randy Quaid and independent stay. I'm back.

Cody: 01:26:25

Just clogs the whole thing. I mean, there's. There's a lot of shit in here. I will say two headed shark attack was very fun to watch. A lot of those shark movies were entertaining.

Mike: 01:26:33

Mega Piranha was delightful.

Cody: 01:26:35

Yeah. And then there's some in here that are actually surprisingly, like, real movies. Abominable. Remember that one with Lance Henriksen, I think.

Henry Combs or Jeffrey Combs. I was a thing of Henry Combs. Jeffrey Combs. The really, really good, abominable snowman. Practical costume.

Mike: 01:26:55

I think that's what was cool about the Sci-Fi movies when they first started, before they went into just pure. The same fucking thing over and over again.

Cody: 01:27:04

Yeah, they made a lot of, like, animal attack movies where it became very samey.

Mike: 01:27:08

Yeah.

And they were all, like, made to be, like, purposely when it was fun, where you never knew week to week whether or not you were gonna get, like, a schlocky piece of crap. That was really fun or a legitimately interesting movie. Yeah.

Jamie: 01:27:21

Believe it or not, Mansquito was not trying to be bad.

Cody: 01:27:30

We got a mo. Oh.

Jamie: 01:27:37

That'S some amity villain space shit, right?

Cody: 01:27:41

Yeah. So I'm just. I'm just flipping through these. It's like, holy shit.

Jamie: 01:27:44

We're still in the strip club.

Cody: 01:27:46

Yeah, that's why I'm still reading your list. Ah, it's a skull. There's some in here. I forgot that Sci-Fi channel was, like, the main company.

Putting the money up for, like, cube to hypercube is technically a Sci-Fi original movie.

Jamie: 01:28:00

Really?

Cody: 01:28:01

It's on the list. Anyways, I don't know. I'm not gonna go through the financing. According to Wikipedia accounts, as a Sci-Fi picture, original film.

Jamie: 01:28:09

Oh, no. The killer's a bald man.

Cody: 01:28:12

Oh, no. It could be any of them.

Mike: 01:28:14

Why are we just with Michael Berryman now?

Cody: 01:28:17

Because they paid for him. They're gonna use him. I can't see what's going on.

Mike: 01:28:22

I can't tell if she's wearing a bra or she just has a tan line.

Cody: 01:28:27

You can see things.

Mike: 01:28:31

No, I got paid.

Cody: 01:28:35

I have my closet light on, so maybe there's just too much glare. I can't see anything that's happening on the side.

Mike: 01:28:40

Why do you have your closet light on?

Cody: 01:28:42

Uh, you know, I didn't want to spill stuff all over my computer.

Mike: 01:28:45

That's fair.

Cody: 01:28:46

I can't turn that off now. Maybe that would help then.

Mike: 01:28:50

You know, you still can't see anything.

Cody: 01:28:52

Hey, I've been tricked. There's jack shit on the screen.

Mike: 01:28:56

I can kind of see Michael Berryman's hands.

Cody: 01:28:59

I see a hand. Yeah, that's it.

Mike: 01:29:04

I see. He found light. Okay. Thank God.

Jamie: 01:29:08

Thank God. Uniquely shaped man. All right. I would just think it was one of the other many bald men who I assume are his children.

Cody: 01:29:19

They gave him the Addams family treatment. They just painted him white, so he really stuck out in the darkness.

Mike: 01:29:24

So is he the killer, or is he just an unrelated other killer?

Cody: 01:29:28

I want to lean towards that. I think they just bumped into another killer.

Mike: 01:29:33

He just eye saw the devil.

Cody: 01:29:41

No. Come to the light.

Mike: 01:29:44

Is this the Poughkeepsie tapes killer?

Cody: 01:29:49

Oh, I'm afraid not, Mike. It is not the Poughkeepsie tapes.

Mike: 01:29:52

I really wish we were watching the Poughkeepsie tapes. I did that for you.

Jamie: 01:30:09

Have you, either of you ever been in a situation where you've had to describe the Poughkeepsie tapes to someone, and then when they ask, but is it good? You don't know how to answer?

Cody: 01:30:23

That's besides the point. The quality doesn't matter?

Mike: 01:30:28

Well, see, here's the problem. My answer is always, yeah, you want to watch it, and then they don't. They asked for the check at that point.

Jamie: 01:30:37

In my.

In my particular instance, I ended up describing the sequence where the husband's head is severed and then put inside of the woman's womb intact, which got a blank stare, which I had to follow with, well, I'm not saying the movie isn't stupid. It's just really romantic. That is the definition of a movie that was so, so well made, was purchased and then not released.

Cody: 01:31:12

We want to just hide this. Let's just put this away somewhere.

Jamie: 01:31:19

It still trips me out that you can find a fucking scream factory edition tapes.

Cody: 01:31:29

I gotta remember to, like, suggest that one to her. Here you go. Have a bad time?

Mike: 01:31:38

I I mean, I know it would be very hard to do, but I would love to do commentary for Poughkeepsie tapes just because the filmmaking is so fucking good.

Jamie: 01:31:48

We did a blind commentary for that with, like, me watching it for the first time. Years and years ago on another podcast. That was a hell of an experience to just go through that movie as it unfolds.

Cody: 01:32:03

Jamie, were you extra disturbed by Mike sitting in the corner corner recording you on a vhs the entire time?

Mike: 01:32:11

Just walking, like, backwards towards you with two masks on?

Jamie: 01:32:16

Get out of there. I love that. We're David Ayer police drama.

Mike: 01:32:29

Now, why. Why is everything so bleached out?

Cody: 01:32:36

I guess we can say that as a pro to the movie. Uh, sure, there's no lights, but they didn't go the opposite direction and just try and fix everything with, like, color correction.

That goes too far. This movie isn't like bleached blue or anything. With the flashlight, the darkness makes sense. Like, this is good. This works.

Mike: 01:33:02

I like whenever. Whenever scenes are lit with a flashlight, it feels a little haunted house. Yeah, Michael Berryman's going to town there.

Cody: 01:33:11

Oh, no, he's eating her. Coincidentally, right now, I'm reading the novelization of plan nine from outer space, and I feel like this is from some of that movie.

Boy, I brought a real light.

Mike: 01:33:35

And you know what? I wish I was what we were watching right now. Terrifying. I'm looking forward to that.

That's gonna be a good movie when that comes out, be watching that at some point. Not this. That'll be great on Christmas. I'm sure who made this movie is a great person.

Cody: 01:33:58

Since very backhanded when you say it that way.

Mike: 01:34:00

I just want to make that clear that I think he is a good mandeh.

Cody: 01:34:08

I'm gonna look this guy up on Wikipedia and it's gonna turn out he, like, killed his whole family.

Mike: 01:34:12

He is not a good man if he did that. Oh, that was a gunshot.

Cody: 01:34:21

That's too much laughing.

Mike: 01:34:25

Oh, so that was just a flashback. Okay, cool, great. I'm glad we spent time for that. For the last 20 fucking minutes.

Jamie: 01:34:33

Seriously, are we in memories of a murder? Are they just gonna pass out and forget to catch the serial killer?

Mike: 01:34:40

I still can't get over the gunshot, which was just.

Jamie: 01:34:49

We'Re in the third act of the movie and we're watching a first act flashback sequence solve a crime.

Mike: 01:34:55

I beg of you, please. There's so much murder happening and you're in a strip club having a flashback and taking pills. I don't understand what the messaging of this movie.

Acap.

Jamie: 01:35:10

Acap.

Cody: 01:35:13

So I'm looking up Kevin McDonald, the director editor writer right now. And his Wikipedia says he is an award winning independent filmmaker in Boston, Massachusetts. Surprise.

His first feature film, Beg, won best picture at the only Academy Award accredited film festival in New England, the Rhode Island International Film Festival. So good for them.

Jamie: 01:35:35

What else was that accredited? What does that mean?

Cody: 01:35:38

I don't know. I've never heard of that phrase before.

stello, set to be released in: 2024

Jamie: 01:35:54

Good for him.

Cody: 01:35:55

at is. This movie came out in: 2011

s next movie is coming out in: 2024

So that's one of the reasons I feel a little bad shitting on stuff like this. But Reddit, Warcraft two, this is not really all that entertaining to watch.

Mike: 01:36:34

I wonder what this was shot on, because I. I've been trying to figure out, like, is this digital or like minidv? Hmm.

Cody: 01:36:44

Uh, an artistic little shot.

Mike: 01:36:49

That was a nice: 1970

Cody: 01:36:54

Don't look down.

Jamie: 01:36:55

Room to grow.

Cody: 01:36:58

There are splashes there.

Jamie: 01:37:02

Have they been at this campfire the entire time?

Mike: 01:37:05

I just. I look, I love, like, I love asses. I just can't take anymore. Make it stop. Okay. It's just. It's making me uncomfortable. It's weird. What?

What is she even doing? You don't know how clean that water is. Something can go up the couch. I.

Jamie, what was that movie watching with Jeffrey combs where there just was constantly scenes by a fire, like every 30 seconds?

Jamie: 01:37:30

Oh God, I wish I could remember. I know what you're talking about. I cannot remember.

Mike: 01:37:36

Yeah, that was a rough one. But.

Cody: 01:37:43

One more little juicy nugget from the Kevin McDonald IMDb wiki. This is submitted by Anonymous, so it has to be true. But he is currently working to expand the big universe with a sequel and a web series.

It doesn't say when this was submitted, so this could have been like ten years ago.

Mike: 01:38:04

But the beg cinematic universe.

Cody: 01:38:10

Everything'S gotta be a franchise, baby.

Mike: 01:38:16

You know, considering how many people he kills behind them, it makes you wonder why he's bothering to wear a scary mask.

Cody: 01:38:25

It's for our benefit. We got some good squelching.

Jamie: 01:38:31

Really?

Cody: 01:38:32

What's a town on that Foley?

Mike: 01:38:36

Some giallo blood there. Did beg just go, eugh. And then walk away.

Cody: 01:38:46

You gotta feel it.

Mike: 01:38:48

That was like movie one. Collector levels of.

Cody: 01:38:55

What'S the feeling for types of blood here. Do we, as a collective, prefer the really dark, almost black blood, or do we want the cartoonish, like George Romero melted crayon red blood?

Mike: 01:39:07

It depends on the tone and, like, style of the movie.

Jamie: 01:39:11

A movie like this. I want to see some melted crayons.

Mike: 01:39:14

Yeah.

Cody: 01:39:15

Mister Big was just hiding in the water that whole time.

Jamie: 01:39:20

Mister Biggie.

Cody: 01:39:22

Mister big. Sorry.

Mike: 01:39:24

No. I love the idea that the dude from Sex and the City was in there and then popped out.

Cody: 01:39:29

That's what he's doing in his spare scenes when he's nothing with the girls he's murdering in Salem.

Jamie: 01:39:34

Oh, a slasher Chris and off would be terrifying. The man's tall, slow motion.

Cody: 01:39:42

Swinging the corpses. Swinging the corpses.

Mike: 01:39:46

Oh, I'm sorry. You're frustrated about the case, that you're not working.

Cody: 01:39:53

Time for some law.

Jamie: 01:39:55

Not now, Raydhe.

Cody: 01:39:57

Is this a new bald cop, or is this one we've seen before?

Mike: 01:39:59

I don't know. I can't take this anymore.

Jamie: 01:40:06

They all feel like they should be british. I feel like they should all be sad and british.

Cody: 01:40:13

I really love this. The guy walks in.

Jamie: 01:40:16

You want ride number five?

Cody: 01:40:18

Oh, another bald cop is walking in. I like that.

This guy walks in and says, it's probably nothing, and has a manila folder that apparently breaks the case wide open, so he has to start a fight. There's a todd, Orion and a Riley.

Mike: 01:40:39

Are those just magazines?

Cody: 01:40:47

I don't think Riley, the cop with the mustache, has actually said anything, but he's in multiple scenes, and he's apparently the bad guy of the department. Like, no lines of dialogue. He just kind of shows up, and apparently he's just fucking up in the background.

Mike: 01:40:59

We got another bald guy.

Cody: 01:41:00

Oh, jeez.

Mike: 01:41:01

It looks like the last bald guy. Also, what house did he. Did he knock on the door of? I don't.

Cody: 01:41:08

Also, I'd be a little concerned if a cop was just walking around saying he was a cop, but he was wearing just, like, a hoodie.

Mike: 01:41:16

I don't think that's how being a cop works.

Cody: 01:41:18

Like, there's no badge on him. As far as I can tell, they're not panning down, but it looks like he just came from the gym. I went to pet you with my machete.

We saw this in Texas Chainsaw massacre two, but done better.

Jamie: 01:41:45

Expanding the big cinematic universe.

Cody: 01:41:50

She's begging.

Jamie: 01:41:53

I am always fascinated by stuff like that because it is one thing to just knock out a cheapo horror movie in the woods just to raise money for the thing you really want to do. Later. That's why I think the real origin for a lot of movies like these ultimately are that seem very low effort.

I think a lot of the time it's just a money making effort for something else. I have so much respect for whenever people make, like, five of these, because that means no.

Against all the odds, this is a passion project that you want to be doing more than other things. That's very beautiful.

Cody: 01:42:38

Evil Dead basically got started because they did, like, into the woods, which was just that, like, let's spend whatever money we have to show people we can make a movie and just go into the woods and just put something together.

Jamie: 01:42:51

I haven't watched any of these, but I'm fascinated by their existence. A couple of months ago, I stumbled onto a direct to video series called Chainsaw Sally. That's just a direct ache.

It's a copyright free sequel to the Texas Chainsaw massacre movies where this dude directs his wife as Kmart Sally hardistry. Battling various monsters. He made several sequels and then a series with multiple seasons.

Cody: 01:43:33

Wow.

Jamie: 01:43:33

All dedicated to. Look how hot my wife is.

Cody: 01:43:37

Is.

Jamie: 01:43:40

That's not the american dream. I don't know what is.

Cody: 01:43:42

What a wife guy.

Mike: 01:43:46

Oh. You know, I didn't even put two and two together. Tony Moran was the original Michael Myers.

Cody: 01:43:53

Huh?

Mike: 01:43:54

Maskless Michael Myers, I should say.

Cody: 01:43:56

Yeah. Puddle shot.

Mike: 01:44:03

Can I read a review?

Cody: 01:44:05

Uh, yeah.

Mike: 01:44:06

Eight out of ten.

Cody: 01:44:08

Zoom. Fuck.

Mike: 01:44:12

Um, scary slasher full of horror movie OGD in parentheses. Original ghouls. I don't know where the D comes from. Like, Tony Moran, Michael Berryman, and Tony Todd, two, for some reason.

It's pretty moody and cool, and I trust to type follow the kill a teenager, tell a joke formula, but had its dark and definitely gruesome moments to the little ear chew.

Cody: 01:44:44

Shudders sorry, Mike. We're missing a great fight scene between Mister bag and our bald cop.

Mike: 01:44:52

Are we gonna fight scene in Logan.

Cody: 01:44:56

He was hiding on top of a tree. He missed him with a machete. Now he's just throwing them through trees like, this is actually pretty fun. It's.

It's bright, so I can tell what's happening.

Mike: 01:45:05

Thank God.

Cody: 01:45:13

Sometimes I miss the IMDb comment boards because I feel like that review would have fit right in.

Mike: 01:45:20

Yeah, I miss them often. I miss. It came from Internet movie database.

Cody: 01:45:25

Oh, no. They got him. Don't worry.

Mike: 01:45:27

There's other bald cops.

Cody: 01:45:29

Yeah, but that was our bald cop.

Mike: 01:45:33

Hey, does big just have a gun now? What the fuck?

Cody: 01:45:35

I think he took the gun from the cop and then shot him in the head. Because the cop had a gun.

Mike: 01:45:40

You can't break slasher rules like that. You're not art.

Cody: 01:45:43

Well, they have to show him taking the gun or else. It's confusing because, like, are there two guns in the scene now? Technically three because this cop has a gun.

Mike: 01:45:51

The sun's going down now we're losing the light.

Cody: 01:45:54

The scene's over.

Jamie: 01:45:57

They about to have the sword fight from the end of samurai cop now.

Cody: 01:46:03

I mean, there's only 15 minutes left, so we have to be getting to the climactic finale.

Mike: 01:46:08

My God, the beauty.

Jamie: 01:46:11

By the way, I found out the other day that the dude who directed samurai cop directed light. Five other movies in America before samurai Cop, and they all look like samurai cop. You gotta style all of these.

Some of them still have Zadar in them. There's one of them which I think is called, like, beach cop or something, that's literally just samurai cop without the samurai shit.

Mike: 01:46:41

That's delightful. Can. Can we have. Can we do, like, the career of Robert Zadar?

Jamie: 01:46:47

Oh, that would be awesome. You talk about soul taker.

Mike: 01:46:52

Fade. The laws of time and space.

Cody: 01:46:56

So.

Mike: 01:46:57

Much look like a police department, but looks like an outdoor bathroom stall.

Cody: 01:47:03

Oh, no, same thing. Do you think anyone at home right now is carving pumpkins to celebrate properly? You think?

Do you think people actually listen to big ass pumpkin Day episodes and get in the mood for big ass pumpkin day?

Jamie: 01:47:17

They're not like all american holidays. Big ass pumpkin day has been drained of its true meeting over the past few years.

Mike: 01:47:27

Fair fucking hallmark holiday. Big ass pumpkin day.

Cody: 01:47:31

Everyone just goes to the parking lot and carves a pumpkin instead of doing it at home like it's supposed to be done. This is my to get trunk. Oh, lantern. I hate it.

Jamie: 01:47:40

I like the idea of a big ass pumpkin day version of trunk or treat where you just go to a 711 parking lot and a dude opens up the trunk of his car and gives you beer.

Cody: 01:47:51

Okay, that actually sounds okay. That does tailgate party.

Mike: 01:47:55

See, Jamie, I thought you were going to go. You go there, he opens up the trunk of the car, and there's just a check of a lantern lit in there.

And he just, like, you don't say words to each other. He just shows you the jack o'lantern and closes the trunk.

Jamie: 01:48:11

You just vibe.

Cody: 01:48:14

The man hands you a knife. You just kind of nod. You start stabbing at his trunk.

Mike: 01:48:20

You just move on to the next car. There's another guy smoking a cigarette, just opens up the trunk.

Jamie: 01:48:28

One of them will have my soul in it. Oh, God. This reminds me, it was a big news in the south a couple of weeks ago. Or newspaper headlines about everything made most local news channels.

So there was a bus in. In Florida.

Cody: 01:48:54

Yeah. Show that whole scoop them out, scoop up the guns, gouge out the eyes.

Mike: 01:49:01

Anyway, Jamie, you're talking about a bus that couldn't slow down.

Jamie: 01:49:09

Yes, there was apparently a bus make moving around Florida. Long story short, that was creatively called the cannabis.

That was just arriving in neighborhoods and just selling people weed like an ice cream truck. And it made fucking headline news that after months, the police had caught the cannabis and ended its reign of terror. They issued shambles.

They issued a press conference like they'd caught DB Cooper.

Cody: 01:49:44

Goddamn, I hate this. Let him go. Let the man be free.

Mike: 01:49:49

You know what would have been terrifying, though, is if a mime was driving it did not understand.

Jamie: 01:50:00

Just sound like the plot of a cheech and Chong movie that was stopped dead in its tracks. Don't worry. The drivers of the cannabis have been, of course, sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Cody: 01:50:15

It's now crossover with Harold and Kumar.

Jamie: 01:50:20

As I like now we're just hanging out with this lady and her nice life. She's done well for herself.

Mike: 01:50:24

She looks like Lois Lane.

Cody: 01:50:26

Ghosts to complain once more about holidays going off the rails. I was at Michael's yesterday, folks, I'm going to spoil some of the magic. We're not actually recording on big ass Pumpkin day. It's September 26.

I know.

Mike: 01:50:42

It's always live. Whenever you're listening, it's live, God damn it.

Cody: 01:50:45

We're coming from your house. So I was. I was in Michael's trying to just see what they had for Halloween stuff, and they've already banished it to, like, the side aisles.

Christmas has taken over all the main spots. They were downsizing and getting rid of all the Halloween shit, and it's not even the end of September. F you, Michaels.

I went to target, and at least they were like, no, everything is Halloween here. Go enjoy, Lewis.

Jamie: 01:51:10

Target's Halloween shit has been awesome this year.

Cody: 01:51:14

They're on point. They're. They're doing the Lord's work.

Mike: 01:51:17

Oh, yeah. I have that pumpkin.

Jamie: 01:51:20

I know something really sad. The other day, Zed and I went into a spirit Halloween and walked out empty handed. I never thought that day would come.

Cody: 01:51:29

Oof.

Jamie: 01:51:31

They did. They didn't have any of the trick or treat masks. That's my yearly tradition.

Cody: 01:51:36

Your. Your spirit sounds like it's kind of subpar anyways, though. But it seems like spirit kind of half assed it this year.

I didn't see as many cool, like, new things in spirit as I've seen in previous years.

Jamie: 01:51:48

No, there's more terrifier representation, and they've upped the amount of killer clown stuff, but that seems to be it.

Cody: 01:51:57

I did get the killer clown cotton candy handgun. That was neat.

Jamie: 01:52:01

I'm so envious.

Cody: 01:52:02

And I did buy. I had to have the shipped in because they sell it instantly in actual stores. But the Halloween two skull pumpkin, it's.

Mike: 01:52:13

A very underrated pumpkin.

Cody: 01:52:14

It's a cool pumpkin with the light inside too. It flickers just slightly so it feels like there's a candle in there. I love it. Very, very cool pumpkin.

Jamie: 01:52:24

God. It's not not Halloween until I start seeing the Halloween two logo in stores and the hellraiser three logo around every corner.

Cody: 01:52:36

Scary eye. I just love licensing rights for some of those being easier than others. So it's like, well, we can have Halloween two and four. Those are the ones.

They'll be everywhere. We can license those. But not Halloween one. Quit begging. That's what he wants. It's in the title. She said begging three times.

Bagel juice is gonna come on screen.

Jamie: 01:53:15

It just really looks like Sam from trick or treat grew up to have a lot of issues. Child actor.

Cody: 01:53:27

I'm dying. You've killed me.

Mike: 01:53:34

Boy, she is super dying.

Cody: 01:53:36

Oh, it's taken a long time.

Mike: 01:53:38

Ooh.

Cody: 01:53:39

Ah. I'm dying here. Oh, you got me.

Mike: 01:53:44

So it's Tony Todd, right?

Cody: 01:53:46

I mean, if it's not, then his character had no point in the movie, because he just popped up in, like, two scenes. Three scenes.

Mike: 01:53:53

What if it's the Copenhagen. Jack, you betrayed us.

Cody: 01:54:02

Is she dead yet? There we go. Okay, that was. That one took a long time. They were really hanging on to that one.

Mike: 01:54:08

It's Deadpool dying in Deadpool. Two. Is he just gonna take off his mask and have a smoke?

Cody: 01:54:17

Not that we could tell. The only thing I can see in the scene is the flames from the pumpkin.

Jamie: 01:54:21

What a night.

Cody: 01:54:23

JACK grunts oh, I was right. Oh, no, I was right.

Jamie: 01:54:27

It's the bald cop there with his.

Mike: 01:54:30

Stupid joke was real.

Cody: 01:54:32

He's been smoking in every scene.

Jamie: 01:54:34

I like how the cigar is there so you can tell it's him and not one of the other bald men.

Mike: 01:54:42

I don't like that. My stupid joke was how the movie actually is.

Cody: 01:54:46

I mean, they. They killed everyone except for the bald copse and Tony Todd. So there's a limited pool of people. It could be.

Mike: 01:54:52

Hey, they killed one bald cop.

Cody: 01:54:54

They did. Yeah.

Mike: 01:55:00

So I have a question that why in the close ups of his eyes, did he appear to be black?

Cody: 01:55:09

Maybe they changed their mind. Or maybe there's two and one's Tony Todd and one's the book of shadows. Oh, no.

Mike: 01:55:15

Why are we in Blair witch two all of a sudden?

Jamie: 01:55:17

No.

Cody: 01:55:17

Oh, it's officially Halloween now. It's a little bogus that they did all the killing before Halloween.

Mike: 01:55:25

It was a busy night.

Cody: 01:55:26

Yeah, maybe Halloween fell on, like, a Monday this year, so no one was really feeling the killing on a weekday.

Mike: 01:55:33

All right, that was just a weird montage that happened for some reason.

Cody: 01:55:41

Oh, gotta put my murdering mask back on. But I didn't even finish my cigar. Mister Beg is talking now, and he's not as scary. Oh, no, the ghosts are gonna get you.

Mike: 01:56:05

Are witches about to kill him now. This is what happens if you go after the goths.

Jamie: 01:56:12

So we were watching a slasher movie like this on Tubi last week where the Jason Voorhees esque mute serial killer of the woods had one line halfway through the movie, which was after cutting a dude's head off, saying, stay the fuck out of my woods. And the fact that that was in the middle of the movie was really the piece de resistance. Not even the end, just the middle.

That was all it was missing from in a violent nature.

Cody: 01:56:58

Big hard rock music.

Mike: 01:57:00

Hard rock music.

Jamie: 01:57:01

By the way, it's upbeat because I.

Mike: 01:57:04

Feel like that movie didn't have a lot of ending to it.

Cody: 01:57:09

No. Well, that's why they're expanding the big cinematic universe.

Jamie: 01:57:17

We're gonna see the story of Clayton Starks.

Cody: 01:57:20

Which guy?

Jamie: 01:57:20

That is a ser movie serial killer name if I ever heard one.

Cody: 01:57:25

Yeah, yeah. I can't trust any Clayton's.

Jamie: 01:57:29

Clayton Starks needs to battle Creighton Dukes.

Cody: 01:57:34

We got a ben, we got a Des, a Mary, an Oswald, a Scott Rayburn, a Jim, a summer, a Becky, a norm, a Shelly, a Chrissy.

Mike: 01:57:42

That is goth combat homework shower code. Jesus.

Cody: 01:57:47

Got a little bit of Freddy in my life, a little bit of sandy by my side, a holly, a molly.

Jamie: 01:57:53

Of Cindy, Tim Daley with David Langill as party ghost.

Mike: 01:58:00

Yeah.

Cody: 01:58:02

Faceless Mary, janitor Willie and the rest.

Mike: 01:58:11

And then butt rock playing. I don't remember cheerleaders.

Cody: 01:58:16

Yeah, I'm assuming they were talking about the ones at the costume party.

Mike: 01:58:20

I was bar extras. Mike.

Cody: 01:58:22

Mike.

Mike: 01:58:22

I was.

Cody: 01:58:23

Did you guys know that Mike refused to leave, so they just filmed around it to be nice. There were moments in there where I'm like, oh, that's. That's promising. There are a couple, like, cool, throwback style shots.

Not that they connected anything like the slow zoom in on the clock to let us know that it's officially Halloween. Put with something else. That would be a fun little shot by itself.

It doesn't quite work, but, you know, there's the promise of it, but the very, very ending there seemed like we could have had a fun idea of, like, the dead coming back for vengeance. Not that we really got it, but it's a neat hint of an idea. I'm trying to be nice, but this music is taking everything out of me.

Mike: 01:59:12

The music.

Cody: 01:59:12

The wind is out of my sails.

Mike: 01:59:15

So did he just license pre existing Harry Manfredini music?

Cody: 01:59:19

I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe. Maybe Manfrediti just phoned it in, gave him, like, two minutes to score.

Jamie: 01:59:26

Oh, he's like Stephen King. He just has a list of dollar babies.

Mike: 01:59:31

You know, I don't want to say a lot, but, you know, I'm seeing a lot of repeat last names.

Jamie: 01:59:39

I said Kevin McDonald's. Also the sound engineer.

Cody: 01:59:43

He's a man of many hats.

Mike: 01:59:46

Shawna McDonald.

Jamie: 01:59:50

Hey, Tim Daley was the Lyft driver.

Cody: 01:59:55

Hey. They actually had craft services, though, so that's nice.

Mike: 01:59:57

Also by Shauna McDonald and Tim Daley. He baked some. He baked some muffins. I really can't wait to find out who made this song.

Cody: 02:00:14

So this movie really reminds me of trick.

I don't know if you ever saw that, but I think it's just like the, you know, the pumpkin headed killer thing and the mystery behind who could be doing the killings.

Mike: 02:00:23

And Tony Todd.

Cody: 02:00:25

I would not recommend either film just to make that very clear.

Jamie: 02:00:29

Hey, Michael Berryman was a producer.

Cody: 02:00:32

Oh, that's nice of him.

Mike: 02:00:39

He wants to rape you in my blood red blue dreams. I don't know if I like those lyrics. Yeah, sure. It's original score by Harry Manfredini. Uptight form, big. Oh, my God.

This is an actual song about the movie.

Cody: 02:00:56

Oh, wow. I am always saying, I want more.

Jamie: 02:00:59

Of those Dicky skins.

Mike: 02:01:02

Skinny cavallo and what an incredible fucking. Oh, Anders manga is actually a fan. That's shame. Imagine dying and having this movie dedicated to you.

Cody: 02:01:15

I mean, that's something. It's better than not having a movie dedicated to you.

Mike: 02:01:19

That's true. That's true.

Jamie: 02:01:20

I want a bad movie dedicated to me.

Mike: 02:01:22

That wasn't. That wasn't after credit scene. That was just a screensaver. Apparently not. It didn't come soon.

Cody: 02:01:29

Beg to coming soon. Beg to coming eventually. We're gonna fix that one bag.

That's an ironclad promise, though, if you say beg to coming soon, you got to make it eventually. You can't not do it. You'll be begging for the sequel.

Mike: 02:01:45

Can I read this other review?

Cody: 02:01:47

Yes.

Mike: 02:01:47

I'm not gonna read any, all of it, because it's really fucking long.

Cody: 02:01:51

Okay.

Mike: 02:01:52

That this is someone who dedicated like an afternoon to reviewing the movie beg and gave it four out of ten stars. Tony. I just like some of the wording in this opening paragraph.

Tony Todd as a teacher, rocking some reading glasses and sure to creep you out, but not just with his bellowing voice as he talks to his classroom about the origins of Halloween, especially that of the Jack O lantern. That moment did draw me in, but that's how the independent shot on digital horror beg plays out.

The plot is drawn out, graceless teen boredom, self doubting cops, family dramas, and loosely connected in parentheses. With so many characters coming and going as only samples of the narrative engages while other parts don't.

In parentheses, illustratively bland character building are simply there to pad out the picture in parentheses. Debbie Rochon listening to music.

Cody: 02:02:40

Okay, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Mike: 02:02:41

And it just keeps going like that.

Cody: 02:02:43

I mean, the review is pretty spot on, I gotta say. Like, Tony Tao's character is fun, but not really essential to anything at all.

Mike: 02:02:51

Why he strangled a woman.

Cody: 02:02:53

He was just mad at her. She was. She's giving away too much of his family details. You know, I think he was cheating.

Jamie: 02:02:58

Anyways, I think we learned the true meaning of big ass pumpkin day.

Cody: 02:03:03

If you see a person wearing a big ass pumpkin on their head, probably a killer. Just stay away from.

Mike: 02:03:08

Definitely a killer.

Cody: 02:03:09

Definitely a killer will always be a killer. I don't know.

There's got to be a couple of friendly lunatics walking around, giant pumpkins on their head that are giving away, like pumpkin seeds, right?

Mike: 02:03:17

That would be nice. Like. Like a Johnny pumpkin seed. Yeah.

Cody: 02:03:21

Just nation to nation walking around, planting.

Mike: 02:03:23

Pumpkins and that's delicious.

Cody: 02:03:26

I'm just thinking of that in like the Lex Luthor voice, like at 40 pies. He stole them.

Mike: 02:03:33

Can we end now?

Cody: 02:03:34

Yes. Folks, thank you so much for listening to our big ass pumpkin day celebration. We hope you have a delightful October 14 2nd, Saturday of the month.

Whatever you choose to celebrate, there's two.

Mike: 02:03:47

Minds on the subject.

Cody: 02:03:48

There's two minds on the subject. We hope you make a giant pumpkin carving of your own to celebrate and have a wonderful, wonderful pre Halloween. It's been box office pulp.

If you want more of us, you can find us on box officepulp.com. we're on Spotify, YouTube, you name it. If it plays podcasts, we're probably there. Check us out.

We have other episodes where we actually watch the movie ahead of time and have notes and positive things to say. You should watch some of those. Those are fun. We're fun. I swear.

Mike: 02:04:15

We're fun. I swear.

Cody: 02:04:17

Yeah, I ran out of arguments after that. Just sounded desperate. Anyways, folks, thanks for joining us. That's a wrap. Let's get the hell out of here.

Mike: 02:04:45

I hate this movie.

Cody: 02:04:47

Beg for it to end.

Mike: 02:04:50

You get more out of life when you go out to a movie. Please remember to replace the speaker on the post when you leave the theater.

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