Dive into an uproariously insightful episode with Lauren, a stand-up comedian whose journey from genealogical confusion to comedic triumph is anything but ordinary. With a warning for our listeners: we don't censor comedians, so expect some raw and real language. Lauren shares her tale of discovering her donor conception through a DNA test, her quest to find her biological father, and how these revelations have fueled her unique brand of humor.

The Comedy of Discovery

Key Moments:

• Lauren's childhood feeling like a "Viking" in a family of Italians and her path to questioning her identity.
• The life-changing moment Lauren took a DNA test and the cascade of discoveries about her donor conception.
• Finding her biological father and connecting with half-siblings, turning complex emotions into comedic material.
• Lauren's insights into "genealogical bewilderment" and using comedy as a way to heal and connect with others.
• A glimpse into Lauren's stand-up routines and how her unique background shapes her comedy.

Lauren's journey is a powerful reminder of the unexpected ways our origins can shape us and the transformative power of laughter. Her story not only entertains but also offers profound insights into identity, family, and the courage to face life's surprises with a smile. Tune in next time for more compelling stories on Family Twist.

Episode Links:

• Lauren's Comedy Website
• Family Twist Podcast Website
• Untangling Our Roots Conference

Subscribe and Review:

If you enjoyed this episode and Lauren's unfiltered humor, don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. We love hearing your thoughts!

Connect with Us:

• Website: http://familytwistpodcast.com
• Instagram: @FamilyTwistPodcast

1

Hello and welcome to another episode of

Family Twist, where we unravel the

2

intricate and often unexpected stories of

family, identity, and personal discovery.

3

I'm Cory, and along with my partner

Kendall, we dive into a narrative that's

4

really wild and as unique as they come

with today's guest.

5

Imagine growing up feeling distinctly out

of place in your own family, towering over

6

your relatives with unanswered questions

swirling around you.

7

Our guest Lauren brings humor to her

journey of self-discovery from suspecting

8

she's a

9

to facing the bewildering world of DNA

tests.

10

As we gear up for the Untangling Our Roots

conference, where Kendall will be speaking

11

and Lauren will be lighting up the room

with her misfit variety show, we're

12

reminded of the power of comedy to connect

and heal.

13

Expect some explicit content because when

you're dealing with a comedian, there are

14

no filters.

15

And remember, the truth is often stranger

and funnier than fiction.

16

Hey Lauren, welcome to the show.

17

Thank you for having me.

18

Of course, yeah.

19

Now we're excited.

20

just because we were excited to hear your

story.

21

And you and Kendall will get to meet in

person in April for the Untangling Our

22

Roots Conference, which he will be on one

of the panels and you will be providing

23

the wild and wacky entertainment, right?

24

Yeah, we're gonna have a misfit variety

show, Ancestry.comedy edition, open mic,

25

and I'll be emceeing that and also doing

some bits from the show as well.

26

Cool.

27

Awesome.

28

That's gonna be great.

29

So before we get into your comedy, which I

definitely wanna talk about because we're

30

huge comedy fans over here, let me hear a

little bit about your donor conception

31

history.

32

Well, you know, I never knew, but I knew

something was up, but then you don't know.

33

I was basically gaslit for my whole life

because I didn't look like my family at

34

all, like in such an extreme way.

35

Because like, as we know, like back in the

day, they weren't like,

36

sorting through a catalog.

37

They just like walked into the doctor's

office and got jizz from whatever med

38

student who needed 20 bucks.

39

So by random chance, they ended up a tall,

fair English sperm, and I am a shit, like,

40

and they are short, little, like dark

little Italians.

41

So I was like, super extra.

42

I was like skipping around like Will

Ferrell and Elf amongst the little, little

43

oputions.

44

My feet were hanging off the bed.

45

My clothes didn't fit because they didn't

understand that someone.

46

was taller, like my mom couldn't conceive

in her head that how tall I was.

47

I you know, up until a few years ago, I

never had sleeves for a jacket that came

48

down to my wrist.

49

Like I didn't understand.

50

It was a weird concept.

51

What that meant.

52

So and then I was like, I'd always ask

because people would be like, Oh, is she

53

adopted?

54

You know, like, she's the au pair.

55

You know, no one understood.

56

I'm just kidding.

57

No one knew what au pairs were.

58

That was Queen's.

59

But were you an only child?

60

I had three others, because what happened?

61

This is why no one can figure it out,

because it was like, well, my mom was

62

pregnant.

63

And like, she's too boring to cuckold my

dad, unfortunately, like nothing exciting.

64

And so we're like, what could it be?

65

And like they had three other kids who

look exactly like them, and short little

66

dark Italians, very different genes, like

academically, like so different.

67

and intellectually and just socially.

68

So, and I'd always ask and they would

just, they would just be like, it's all in

69

your head basically.

70

And then my grandfather got worried that

his like, he's like, my grandfather was

71

worried that I wouldn't feel like part of

the family.

72

So he, this is a guy who like never

graduated high school off the boat from

73

Sicily.

74

He went to the library, like an MIT

research scientist and came back with one

75

historical fact to explain me.

76

And he was like,

77

Lauren, okay.

78

Because he didn't know about the sperm

donation, by the way, no one knew.

79

It's a huge secret.

80

So he didn't know.

81

So he was just trying to make me feel

better.

82

And he was like, okay, Lauren, this is how

you came to be.

83

The Vikings invaded Sicily.

84

So I'm walking around like a fucking moron

telling everyone I'm a fucking Viking.

85

I like was in Bergen and I'm sitting there

like, oh, my fucking roots, like a fucking

86

idiot.

87

Anyway.

88

need to tell you guys this is not I like

we jest but it's like it's like not great

89

for my mental health and my self esteem.

90

But how did you ultimately so you take a

DNA test?

91

Is that how you found out?

92

That's how I found so it was like I didn't

know what it was and as soon as someone

93

mentioned it I like ran and got it but

however I didn't understand the results

94

and

95

In fact, I put them on Facebook because I

thought it was such a joke.

96

I was like, look at this, I guess I really

am adopted.

97

Ha ha ha.

98

Because my mind was from England and

Northern Italy and my brothers were from

99

Sicily and Greece.

100

And my mom was in the comments being like,

end this shit now.

101

Oh, okay.

102

Like stop it, you are mine, stop this

stuff.

103

Guilting me like I'm doing something wrong

because I'm hot on the trail.

104

So it didn't like, and I was like, anyway,

this is not accurate, right?

105

This is a bunch of bullshit.

106

So then I didn't understand it.

107

So I like went away, I like three years

passed by and then I'm in Mount Kenya and

108

I'm sitting across from a PhD in genetics

and I was told him about it.

109

And he was like, siblings are different,

but not by that much.

110

And so I came back.

111

This is where it gets crazy.

112

Oh, this is where it gets crazy.

113

Oh, okay.

114

You want to, you get, this is where, this

is where it gets even crazier.

115

You guys want this, you want the strat.

116

I could give you the, Anna, I can give you

the three sentence or if you want.

117

We're all about the crazy shit.

118

Okay.

119

We'll get through the crazy.

120

So I come back, right?

121

And I'm starting to look, COVID is

starting to come.

122

This thing called COVID, we hear it, we're

like, oh, what a bunch of bullshit.

123

This is never gonna be anything.

124

Everyone's always exaggerating.

125

So this is like the kind of like the

mindset we're in, you know, disaster's

126

about to come, but we don't know it.

127

And then I go to my mom's house when I'm

just starting to figure this out.

128

And she gives me a picture of my

godfather.

129

And I'm thinking he is tall and fair and

they stopped talking to him when I was

130

seven.

131

So I was like, maybe this is the guy.

132

She's trying to tell me covertly, like

this is it.

133

So we go home.

134

I go home and then I go onto

ansightstree.com and I call my brother and

135

I was like, all right, you pull up your

matches.

136

And I was like, do you see mom's cousins?

137

He's like, I see mom's cousins.

138

I was like, do you see dad's cousins?

139

He's like, yeah, right here.

140

I was like, oh fuck.

141

So then I go and look it up and it was, I

didn't, it said very plainly, like I look

142

up my cousin, my dad's cousin, and it

says, not related.

143

So then I knew my dad wasn't my dad.

144

So then I was like, well, it must be my

godfather.

145

And I was like so convinced it was him.

146

And then I started looking him up.

147

I FedExed him a letter that was like, hi,

you know, has been, you know, it's been

148

decades, but wanted to say hi.

149

And was super convinced.

150

I was asking all of these random DNA

matches, like, do you know this guy named

151

John Matyshka?

152

And people were like, no, we don't know.

153

We don't really know how you're related to

us.

154

And then I called ancestry.com because I

was like, I don't understand who all these

155

people are that are close matches.

156

I don't get, what is this?

157

And they were like, ready with

de-escalation techniques.

158

They're like, as you guys know, they're

just like, we understand the results must

159

be surprising to you.

160

And like, that's how many spots are being

blown up that they have drained them.

161

They're dealing with crazy people.

162

people who are fucking nuts going nuts.

163

And so she's like, Listen, we do that for

safety.

164

But for sure, those are your cut.

165

Those are your siblings.

166

And I was like, 15.

167

What?

168

So then we all go into a Facebook group.

169

And we're like, I'm like, maybe and one of

them said, we're in this face, sorry,

170

Facebook chat.

171

And one of them was like, you know,

172

They told me, the doctor told my mom, it

was a sperm donor when it was a med

173

student and all this stuff.

174

And I was like, oh, sperm donor.

175

Okay, maybe my godfather was the sperm

donor.

176

And the doctor said med student, but I

figured he probably said, oh, he said

177

that.

178

And I'm like, my godfather, broke Brooklyn

guy.

179

He needed some cash, made checks out to

me.

180

So I was super convinced on that.

181

But then I had one sibling.

182

who took it at face value.

183

And he started asking second and first

cousins, did you have a med student in the

184

family in New York during these years in

Brooklyn?

185

And one person's like, yeah, but give me a

minute.

186

She comes back with a name.

187

So we got the name and then he noticed

that there was an obituary attached to

188

another cousin.

189

So the obituary lists the entire family

line.

190

And so we got, we knew his name and then

we found his daughter.

191

found her on Facebook, scroll down five

seconds later, and we have her wedding

192

pictures, and then we have pictures of our

genetic father.

193

So, New York is about to close, because

now COVID's a real thing.

194

And I'm like, I gotta hear this from my

mother's mouth.

195

So I'm driving through the abandoned New

York City streets, not knowing if I'm

196

like, if I don't go now, I might not be, I

don't know when I'm gonna be able to drive

197

to New York again.

198

I was like hiding out in Jersey at the

time.

199

So I drive to Long Island where my mom

was, and...

200

What also had happened during this is that

this new sibling I had looked on Facebook

201

and he's like, wow, Lauren and I have a

common friend.

202

So he calls common friend who was his

deceased mother's best friend.

203

And he's like, wow, how do we both know

Lauren?

204

And she's like, oh, because your mother

was my best friend but I have two best

205

friends.

206

And the other one,

207

is Lauren's mom.

208

So he was like, so I think maybe we should

just not talk about this until we figure

209

this out.

210

Let's just keep this between us.

211

Hangs up.

212

Now realizing that the reason why his mom

never told her is because she has the

213

biggest mouth on the planet.

214

So she, so she hangs up and calls my mom

immediately and tells her everything.

215

So when my mom answers the door, she knows

that I know that I know that she knows

216

that I know.

217

It's like was so.

218

And so she's like trying to chatter away

and try to like fill up all the air and

219

not wanting to bring it up.

220

I finally had to say, mom, I did a DNA

test.

221

Charles and I, my brother figured it out.

222

We know.

223

And she was like, I'm not gonna talk about

this.

224

I'm leaving.

225

I'm like, where are you gonna go, get

COVID?

226

Like, where are you going?

227

And fine, and she goes into the kitchen.

228

She's like angrily doing dishes, so

pissed.

229

And I was like, I finally had to make, I

had to break the tension, which is just

230

what I always do by making her laugh.

231

And I told her something that we had found

out in all of this research.

232

And I said, mom, well, the silver lining

to all of this is I am potentially related

233

to Princess Diana.

234

And she, all of a sudden was like, what?

235

And she kind of like relaxed.

236

And then I told her like everything I

knew.

237

And she was like, told me, you know, she

would confirm stuff and she was like,

238

listen, we didn't think we had kids.

239

We thought this was our one shot, so to

speak.

240

And that's how it happened.

241

And we never told a soul, no one ever

knew.

242

And I was like, when were you gonna tell

me?

243

And she was like, not until my dying

breath.

244

I was like, okay.

245

And I was like, I asked dad once.

246

I asked dad, I got a letter actually, like

crazy enough.

247

I got a letter saying, we're looking for

our adopted daughter who was female, born

248

in the same hospital as you on the same

day.

249

And I brought it to my dad.

250

And I was like, dad, maybe I'll be

switched at birth and the wrong person was

251

adopted.

252

And he's like, put that fucking thing

away.

253

I don't want to hear about it again.

254

And I was like, why didn't he tell me mom?

255

Why didn't he tell me?

256

And she's like, cause I would have put a

knife to his throat.

257

That's why.

258

You know.

259

Wow.

260

So that's, So that's how it happened.

261

So that's, So that's how it happened.

262

Who broke it to your brothers?

263

I told them because my brother Charles and

I were figuring it out and then we were

264

like a clan.

265

We brought in my sister, we told her and

she was just shocked and had a few tears

266

come down but then also relieved because

now we know.

267

Then she was joking like, oh man, you're

not technically related to these people I

268

don't like.

269

My dad's like, fuck, I wish I was.

270

She was laughing about that.

271

And then my other brother, we told him,

and it just was like, cause it's like so

272

obvious that something is up, that like we

never, it's just like, just tell us.

273

Now no one cares, but the shame that

they've put on people for decades, it's so

274

sad.

275

Yes, it is.

276

Just to think that your mother felt so

strong, well, and your father felt so

277

strongly that they needed to keep it, you

know, such a secret.

278

It's just sad for them.

279

Like it was negative on my dad and then my

mom felt too, like she had a miscarriage

280

before me and she was like, oh, that was

my fault.

281

And so I almost felt like she was

punished.

282

You know, it was just like, you know, that

she blames it on herself.

283

And it's like, those are the natural

things that people like do think, but they

284

have their support groups and podcasts and

books and therapists now that can help you

285

through that.

286

But there was nothing, they just blamed it

on themselves and like.

287

moved on hating themselves.

288

They ignore their Viking tall daughter.

289

You know what I mean?

290

Yeah.

291

You know.

292

They're just like, well, we're gaslighting

you for a few decades, but hey.

293

Have you reached out to your potential

cousin Harry?

294

Harry, I kind of want to fuck with him.

295

I kind of want to like, cause it's like,

kind of like, you know, it's like, you

296

know these are potential connections,

right?

297

And, but it's still like, wow.

298

I might have some pretty like aristocratic

jeans like from far back, but I'm like,

299

it's too late to claim that.

300

I've already been imprinted with Queen's

Italian, you know, like it's just too

301

late.

302

So, but I kind of want to like fuck with

him and like knock on his door and be

303

like, hello, it's your cousin from Queen.

304

I love it.

305

That's great.

306

Oh my goodness.

307

So how did humor sort of play into you

feeling different your whole life?

308

Humor.

309

Well,

310

You know, I never, well, I was kind of the

joke for a long time, so it was hard to do

311

the joke.

312

I always knew I wanted to like tell,

communicate what was happening around me.

313

And I think that was because I can't

believe it myself.

314

Like it was a way to heal.

315

Like this is happening.

316

Everyone's telling me I'm crazy.

317

Like, please someone, cause when you would

tell a story, it would be, people would

318

give you that reaction of like what was

really happening.

319

You know, like.

320

be able to communicate and also like see,

I mean in an Italian family, like people

321

are funny.

322

Like there's a lot of humor, not always

nice humor, but they're not always nice.

323

But you know, humor is used to like bring

people together.

324

And so I took that lesson from it and then

felt the power of that as I started

325

talking about this and people come up to

me after the show and tell me, or during

326

the show that happens a lot, where I start

just talking about it and then I noticed

327

someone go.

328

Like whisper to their people and I said

what happened what trauma did I provoke

329

and then they tell like they'll some

something like Yeah, I did a DNA test and

330

blah blah.

331

That's probably super therapeutic for them

at that moment in time Yeah, and the

332

audience the audience loves it because

they feel like they're part of something

333

real and like Everyone's everyone's

walking around with hurt and secrets and

334

of many kinds.

335

I mean

336

of family drama, this is one type of many.

337

So it's therapeutic to watch other people

make it public.

338

Well, you know, it's like, you're kind of

helping to build the community in that

339

setting, honestly.

340

I think that matters a lot.

341

I mean, I wish when I was six years ago

when I found my biological family, I wish

342

I had some sort of moment like that to be

able to, you know, spew.

343

Yeah.

344

We talk about nature versus nurture a lot

on the show.

345

Are there funny people in your pod?

346

The newly discovered family?

347

No one is like...

348

Outwardly.

349

Yeah.

350

No one is like an entertainer in my, it's

interesting, but I get my curiosity and my

351

love of reading and learning from them,

for sure.

352

I think I might get it.

353

My dad is maybe one of the best with met,

I've never seen anyone as good with

354

metaphor as him.

355

He's incredible, he's incredible.

356

I mean, he would need to learn how to

craft comedy for the stage, like he thinks

357

he's freaking John Rickles.

358

And I'm like, oh.

359

Like, entertaining a dinner table is not

the same, but you have some talent that

360

could be craft.

361

But you know, like, let's be honest.

362

So I think I do.

363

get some of my, but I think the

earnestness comes, like my earnestness

364

comes from, like I, so I'm pretty, people

describe what anything I do is

365

heartwarmingly irreverent.

366

And so I'm very, like I'll say some pretty

hard things or reverent things, but like

367

I'll joke about my dad's balls and things

like that.

368

and contemplate if he loves me, you know,

love that I wouldn't exist anyway.

369

But I do it from, I never want anyone to

feel bad.

370

So that's where I'm different.

371

The irreverent comes from my Italian side,

but the not wanting people to feel bad, I

372

feel like is from my Spencer side.

373

So it's the combination of nature versus

nurture that makes up the comedy of

374

Lauren.

375

I think so.

376

Now that we analyze, I've never been asked

this.

377

This is interesting.

378

We are halfway through this rollercoaster

of an episode.

379

If you're enjoying Lauren's incredible

story and finding comfort, laughter, or

380

even just a sense of camaraderie and the

bizarre twists of life, we'd love your

381

support.

382

Hit subscribe, leave us a review, and

share this episode with friends who might

383

appreciate the beauty in life's unexpected

terms.

384

Your engagement helps us keep bringing

these stories to light.

385

And who knows?

386

Maybe you'll help someone discover a part

of themselves they've been searching for.

387

Stay with us for the second half.

388

You don't want to miss what's coming up

next with Lauren.

389

We've reopened Pandora's box a lot.

390

I miss you.

391

And we don't know how to close it.

392

Apologies, Libby.

393

Okay, but I will say this, and I don't

know how to, maybe we can, you could help

394

me understand how to even like talk about

this.

395

The thing that I wish, I don't know how to

communicate it, that, okay, it's called

396

genealogical B-Boltarmit.

397

It's a thing that's debated, but I feel it

hard.

398

Like, I didn't know what I looked like

until I met my biological father.

399

And I almost, because you like create

your, for people who don't know about

400

this, it's like, if you don't know where

you're come from, you can't create in your

401

mind the image of yourself.

402

Because you don't know where you're from

or who you'd have bounced it on.

403

You're creating images based on people you

look at.

404

So mine was like a little like Italian,

you know?

405

And I never knew my body and space.

406

I would bang my head on a lot of things

because I thought I'd be older.

407

Even buying myself the wrong clothes.

408

I was buying myself clothes that were too

small.

409

Then I met my biological father and I met

his eyes and it was the happiest moment of

410

my life.

411

As I was like, I know where I come from

now.

412

And I felt my body and space.

413

It was almost like one of those cartoons,

where the color becomes, the black and

414

white becomes color.

415

And I know what, and I know what, I stood

next to him.

416

I have the same body type.

417

And we're both like, actually I could say

my humor, the irreverent a little bit

418

comes from Jim.

419

Cause he says things that are just like

off, he'll just like have, he'll throw out

420

something that's like crazy.

421

Like, and that's kinda, that's how I do it

sometimes comedy.

422

You know, I'll just throw out like

something that's crazy.

423

But we're like, what?

424

And we both have similar personalities.

425

It's fucking nuts.

426

Both carry a black backpack.

427

Anyway, well, how do you, anyway, but how

do you describe?

428

genealogical bewilderment?

429

Do you even believe in it?

430

And how do you explain this to people?

431

That is a good question.

432

I don't know that I've given it much

thought just because I know my family,

433

I've always known who they are and

everything, and we look like each other,

434

and it's just, it's not been a thing for

me.

435

Then you mentioned you met your biological

father.

436

How did he come to find out that there was

this pod out there?

437

Well, the person, the second cousin who

told us his name asked him, like, listen,

438

is this cool?

439

Can I tell him?

440

And he was like, all right, let's do it.

441

Wow.

442

So we contacted him and he, you know, he

thinks it's funny.

443

He's like me, he thinks the whole thing's

a hoot.

444

He just, I mean, he's kind of like, I

joke, like he's living the male fantasy.

445

All he had to do is deposit sperm and he

has kids to hang out with him 35 years

446

later.

447

Like, yeah.

448

I know that.

449

Exactly.

450

Like, he has an awesome.

451

He has it great and everyone is so cool

and he loves, he's like, you're all weird

452

and I love that.

453

And that's- Did he have children

otherwise?

454

He has one who wants nothing to do with

us, but that's okay.

455

It's sad.

456

I was in Japan, cause she's half Japanese

and I did go to Japan in December.

457

Kind of like as I always wanted to go to

Japan, but my biological father's been

458

there many times.

459

He speaks Japanese.

460

My new sister also has connections to

Japan.

461

She's not Japanese, but her husband was.

462

And she said, so I went, and I feel like I

understand very well that like I joked on

463

stage in Japan, I did a show in Tokyo.

464

I was like, yes, in classic Japanese

fashion, my sister wants nothing to do

465

with me.

466

And they were like, ah!

467

So I get why.

468

They like to just kind of, yeah.

469

And that might change, you know, it might,

but.

470

Yeah, maybe.

471

I still have a half brother that doesn't

really want to know me.

472

My mother's other son.

473

Yeah, whatever.

474

I want to know him, but, you know, we'll

see.

475

Right.

476

Interestingly, sometimes it's like she's

in the thick of it.

477

Yeah.

478

Sometimes when you're in the thick of.

479

or life stuff, you know, if you're in the

thick of some tough life stuff, you're

480

just like, I can't have emotional space to

do this, but like maybe another time.

481

Yeah.

482

So we talked a little bit about your

standup, but I know you also do character

483

work.

484

Do you sort of relate that to sketch?

485

Cause sketch is like my favorite type of

comedy.

486

Yeah.

487

I mean, I can't feel like the characters

are sketches, you know, on their own.

488

It's like, I just don't have patience to

deal with other people.

489

So I just do it.

490

I think you're wise.

491

Yeah.

492

Well, it's a bummer that Milani has been

so behind the scenes in that matter.

493

She is.

494

Oh, what are you kidding me?

495

I go to spa.

496

I have no time for this.

497

I say I you know how many times I have to

smile in pictures.

498

You know how many wrinkles I get no more.

499

Do not bring me in front of them.

500

I don't care.

501

I will not come out.

502

No.

503

Yeah.

504

She's not, she doesn't know.

505

She's like, Oh, I have to take care of my,

all my attention is on my 17 year old son.

506

Like, have you met a 17 year old who wants

her mom around?

507

That kid.

508

That's right.

509

Yeah.

510

You know what?

511

He's a tall kid.

512

So maybe, I don't know who knows, maybe

you're related to him too.

513

Oh God.

514

Maybe who knows all the tall random,

random kids.

515

Oh boy.

516

So talk to us a little bit about your

comedy.

517

Where's the passion for comedy come from

and what is it like for you when you're on

518

stage?

519

Well, I love making, I love really just

bringing people together through laughter.

520

And so I just, I love being on stage and

sort of bringing the room, you know, into

521

one entity and being able to bring us on a

journey, a comedic journey.

522

That's what my passion is.

523

Have you performed for like a full

audience of people in the community?

524

The.

525

I haven't.

526

Yeah, this will be fun.

527

Yeah.

528

Interesting news.

529

I have.

530

So we'll see how it goes.

531

I mean, I don't, I don't even, it's, it's

fun.

532

I, I'm just a little nervous because I'm

like, I don't know the right word.

533

Yeah.

534

It's, I mean.

535

it's going to be an interesting

experience.

536

But the way that the folks from Right to

Know describe it, their conference last

537

year was just like a level of like ease

and comfort and everybody.

538

Because everybody, you're not having to

like break the ice with anybody because

539

everybody's got their own fucked up story.

540

You know?

541

Yeah, yeah.

542

We're like united in a drama.

543

Exactly, yes.

544

I love those family secrets.

545

Yep, everyone's got them.

546

So now we were on your site, just kind of

refreshing ourselves a little bit today,

547

since we knew we were going to talk and

you identify as queer, but you're married

548

to a system, you're male.

549

Yeah, dude.

550

It's so fucking dumb.

551

It's so dumb.

552

Love is love.

553

As long as you like him.

554

That's what matters.

555

Right?

556

Yeah.

557

Oh, he's amazing.

558

He's amazing.

559

He loves, um, he's a gem.

560

He likes surfing jujitsu and he goes to

farmer's markets.

561

And so he's like, I don't know where I

found this guy.

562

He like picked me up in his hybrid.

563

He had this song playing and he's like, do

you like this?

564

I love this band.

565

I'm like the Indigo girls?

566

I'm like, no.

567

And then we go to his house and he opens

his garage and there's a photo of a poster

568

of dolphins.

569

I was like, where did I find you?

570

He's a little lesbian.

571

He's a little lesbian.

572

He's like, don't get home too late.

573

I need from the show.

574

I want to go to the farmer's market early

before it gets crowded.

575

I'm like, who are you?

576

I, I already like him.

577

Yeah.

578

How do you two feel about kids?

579

We're not interested.

580

Just have other things going on.

581

We're just not into it.

582

Although, I mean, he, and also like, he's

got a lot of, he's got a lot of, like,

583

he's got a lot of addiction on his side.

584

Okay.

585

Yeah.

586

So we're a little bit like, like a lot.

587

a lot, it'd be 50-50.

588

The kid would be popping heroin.

589

Yeah.

590

So at the other end, well, there's another

thing.

591

Well, this probably won't make me very

popular, but anyway, there's a book called

592

The Crumbling Genome, and it says that

sperm over 35 degrades in quality.

593

So he's over that.

594

I don't know if you remember years ago,

595

fathered a child at 80.

596

We need to find out what's going on with

that kid.

597

Yeah, it's bad.

598

That's why Barron, they keep him from

view.

599

And also, you know, yeah.

600

And so I do this act now where I'm a

preacher and I come on and it's my mission

601

to tell people about your broken down

sperm.

602

Sir, how old are you?

603

When it's like I'm 40.

604

Oh my God, his sperm needs swimmies.

605

You can call me out in the audience.

606

I'm only 53, you know.

607

castration, castration.

608

And then that's, you know, maybe the

assisted reproduction people might

609

appreciate because women are constantly

shamed over 35 years, they use terms like

610

expired and shaming for all everything

wrong with children is because women over

611

35 are having children.

612

So it's fun because as soon as the women

realize what I'm doing, and they go,

613

they're like, so they thank me after

because they're like,

614

You know, even when they're 30, when

they're 25, they feel it.

615

They're like, because they feel like, oh,

my God.

616

Over the hill.

617

Yeah.

618

Back up just for a second.

619

I really thought you were going to say he

has a lot of cats.

620

Oh, my God.

621

That's funny.

622

That's what I've been roasted before.

623

Someone said about me, like, you look like

you have a lot of cats.

624

That's great.

625

Oh, I would if Cory would let me.

626

Yeah, we're down to two.

627

We're down to two Two two cats five dogs.

628

They're tiny We have five little dogs.

629

You have a yes And he keeps saying no more

dogs and I keep saying no more cats But

630

yet he showed me a puppy this morning and

like yeah We got a lot going on right now

631

You know, I work from home three days a

week.

632

So I'm like I'm here with these

633

crazies and it's like I gotta worry when I

hear it when they're loud and I gotta

634

worry when they're quiet.

635

Yes yes that is like having the kids.

636

Oh they get into some stuff yeah for sure.

637

Wow well this has been a lot of fun you're

fantastic.

638

So fun thank you guys.

639

Really looking forward to seeing what this

convention is gonna be like for everybody.

640

Yeah.

641

Definitely and anyone who, you know, the

Misfit Variety Show is gonna be in Denver.

642

If you're there that Sunday, we're doing

it Sunday night.

643

And it should be fun.

644

And that'll be the full show.

645

And the full show, when I do the Misfit

Variety Show, we bring together people

646

from like very different experiences of

being outside the box.

647

So that can include donor conceived, it

can include people in our community

648

adoption, all of that.

649

And it can also includes people who just

like had a crazy life or, you know, had

650

a...

651

unique family experience, whatever.

652

So we bring everyone together.

653

That would be good.

654

Yeah.

655

I think Kendall's not, you're not leaving

until Monday.

656

So I think you could go.

657

Yeah.

658

Oh my God.

659

I will go for sure.

660

That's gonna be fun.

661

Yeah.

662

Well, we so appreciate what you do because

yes, the voices are growing.

663

The voices are getting louder, but there

are some people who respond to traditional

664

activism.

665

And then there are other people who are

gonna respond to what you're doing.

666

And

667

and becoming part of the community and

becoming allies through humor.

668

So thank you for what you're doing.

669

Yeah, of course, thank you.

670

I'm just trying to make people feel good

and loved and accepted for whatever,

671

however they came to us, however they came

to us that day.

672

Yeah, no, I mean, we've always, in our

past, Kendall and I have always been big

673

supporters of our gay rights stuff.

674

We were both involved with the human

rights campaign in San Francisco.

675

And then now, you know, we're part of this

community and it's just like, we love it.

676

And I think I mentioned it to someone the

other day, like every time we have one of

677

these conversations, it's like, we just

made a new friend.

678

And then, you know, it's hard to make new

friends when you're of a certain age,

679

right?

680

Or if you come to my shows, cause we have

a pre-show.

681

So we, we're all about making friends.

682

So you can come to my shows.

683

You go to Lauren Logie, laurenlogie.com.

684

And I have the Misfit Variety Show, which

tours.

685

And then I have a regular room in New York

City called the Capiche Club.

686

It's pretty awesome.

687

Next time we're there.

688

Yeah, absolutely.

689

Yeah, love, love New York City.

690

So it was just there around the holidays

with Kendall's half sister.

691

Yeah.

692

And it's her first time in the city.

693

So, and she loved it.

694

So I know we'll be back.

695

Yeah.

696

Hell yeah.

697

Would love to have you guys.

698

Love to have you, let me know.

699

Awesome.

700

Well, thank you so much.

701

Okay.

702

Bye now.

703

Bye.

704

Okay, bye.

705

As we wrap up today's episode, it's pretty

clear that Lauren's journey from

706

genealogical bewilderment to a place of

humor, acceptance, and connection is a

707

testament to the strength of the human

spirit.

708

Her ability to laugh in the face of

confusion and to build bridges through

709

comedy is a reminder that our stories, no

matter how convoluted, are the fabric of

710

who we are.

711

Thanks for joining us on this ride and a

huge thanks to Lauren for sharing her

712

laughter and light with us all.

713

The Family Twist Podcast.

714

features original music by Cosmic

Afterthoughts and is presented by Savoir

715

Fair Marketing Communications.