When life gets stressful

What’s the first thing that goes out the window ?

1.patience ?

2.peace ?

3.passion / intimacy ?

Or all of the above ?

When you choose your partner it's incredibly important to find out how you deal with stress but also how the other person deals with stress. Stress is part of life there is no way around it but how you deal with it, your attitude, your problem solving skills, your patience, you communication skills is a 100% your responsibility.

Learn how to be more stress resilient during 1-on-1 coaching and increase your toolset for a more smoothly running life and more stress resilient relationships and connections in your life.

#stressmanagement

#lifecoach

#mentalhealth

#relationshipadvice

With much love

A.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth. 

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Do you need a one on one chat or regular meet ups with me to stay accountable on your journey ?

Book a free 60 mins meeting with me 

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@auroraeggertcoaching

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Unknown: 00:00:06

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. First and foremost, I want

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to thank my latest supporter here, he bought me 25 coffees,

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such a generous gesture. And I sure couldn't sleep last night

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because I had so many coffees, I had them all at once. I've had a

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extremely stressful week last week. And to wake up to this

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message that somebody had bought me coffees, and not only one or

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two, but 25. And the words that went with it. The words that

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email the message said Aurora, your voice is important. Thank

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you for all your work, keep up the good work was just so

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incredibly rewarding, and so well timed. So thank you. Thank

Unknown: 00:01:18

you, thank you. I don't know, if you want me to mention your name

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here. I will keep you anonymous for now. Until I get a thumbs

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up. You're incredible. I'm grateful to have you here on

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this journey. With me. Today, I want to talk about how peace,

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patience and Tennessee, go out the window. Once we get stressed

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out. Sometimes it's just one of those three things that we

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decide to engage in, not engage in. And sometimes it's all of

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the above. And why is it important to talk about this?

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And why is it important to know about how we deal with stress

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how our environment, the people around us deal with stress. That

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is what I want to talk about today, if you are a new

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listener, or if you just started out listening to my podcast

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recently, please know that we are on say season seven. And

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this podcast is a build up. So to say it's a progress. So in

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season one, you get to know yourself and season two, it's

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still getting to know yourself, but also other people. And then

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throughout season three and five, I have interviews with

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very inspiring and empowering people who went through

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adversity. And if you start from the beginning and get to season

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seven till season 734. Now I know that you will go through

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change and progress and growth for the better. So I encourage

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you to go back if you haven't done that already. And maybe you

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want to do it over the winter months, when it's dark and cold.

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And you just want to spend time with me and reflect and connect

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with yourself and make better decisions in life. I feel if we

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were all to feel better in our skin. We would be better people.

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And not with big effort we'd be so awesome and inspiring others

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supporting others. And wouldn't then our society be more

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resilient to stress and more authentic. I strongly believe so

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that's why I'm here. That's why I'm building my business. I'm

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growing my business for you. Right now. I'm building retreats

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center, a location for you to come and connect with me in

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person. I'm going to host men's circle. I'm going to host human

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circle. If there is demand, I'm going to host women's circle.

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But the workshops that I'm creating and hosting are always

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going to be welcoming for everybody. Because I see no

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point in hosting women's circle where we talk about how awful

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men are. That's my experience so far. And I got out of this

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workshop feeling so weird and it's been three years ago COVID

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was in between but now I feel the urge to connect, and to

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create something where we could come together where we can learn

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to understand each other, where we can make sense of our anger

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or sadness, or depression, or frustration, and move forward as

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a whole as a team and not make it not separating men and women

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that makes absolutely no point for me. No sense to me because

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we're together in this and we have to grow strong together and

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not separately. Alright, I'm going to stop with my rant here.

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I have a beautiful juicy pineapple and papaya sitting in

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front of me that I'm going to indulge in after I recorded this

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podcast for you. So I'm unmotivated to get into today's

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episode. Patience, peace, intimacy, go out the window,

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when we get stressed out, at least this is how it is for me.

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Don't try to hug me or kiss me, or make love to me as my

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partner. If I'm stressed out, I don't want this. And in the

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past, I was the kind of person who actually needed intimacy and

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sex to get stress out of my system. But for some weird

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reason, the older I get, the different it becomes. And I can

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deeply relate to people nowadays who say, Well, when I'm stressed

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out, sex intimacy is the very last thing I want to think

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about. So if you are that kind of person, keep listening if you

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are the other kind of person, also keep listening because it

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might help you to understand your partner better. When it

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comes to patience, holy shit. Yeah, when should go sideways,

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when I have carefully prepared for something anticipated. And

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stuff goes different ways, especially not in desired

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directions. I become very short. I'm kind of like a highly

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explosive bomb, when things are not progressing. In a project.

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Or when people when I feel people are, you know, careless,

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not caring. When they don't have a sense of urgency for the

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matter, then impatience is a big thing. And of course, with

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impatience and intimacy going out the window. Peace is gone

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from the surface of auroras life, there is no peace, my

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brain is in constant problem solving mode. And unless you

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want to problem solve with me together, and get this project

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done, or address these issues right away, please stay out of

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my life. That's the way I'm wired. And I know it is not

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great. I will need in the future to keep my cool to communicate

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clearly. And also trust a little more. I also want to be more

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careful with who I ask for help or who I let get involved in my

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business. I have to be, you know, more specific and more

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careful in costing the people that I want on board, or the

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people that I do not want on board. So maybe you can relate

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to that maybe you are a business owner and entrepreneur, a farmer

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or rancher, a hairdresser. Maybe you sell goods, maybe you sell

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services, maybe you work in retail, maybe you are a parent,

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organizing your family. You're not only entertaining and making

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sure that everything is in place and clean. But you also have to

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work on logistics you also have to keep up with books. So

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wherever you come from, I feel there will be stressful

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situations where we need to remind ourselves on how

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important it is to keep our patients and check or our

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impatience how to protect our peace and to allow intimacy in a

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steady way. I used to think that it's way easier to go through

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stressful times by myself. So as a single, I always thought,

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yeah, I can totally abuse harass myself. Now through this

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situation, I don't have to be kind to anybody close by because

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I'm single. I don't need to be intimidate, intimate with myself

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that can wait. And I'm just going to push through this, I'm

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going to basically bully myself through this stressful

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situation. But it's not okay to do that to ourselves. It's

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especially not okay to to that to other people. But it is also

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not okay to deprive yourself of peace and intimacy, when you are

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a singer. And maybe you can relate to that. Maybe I am onto

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something right now, if you are a single, I want to ask you, how

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intimate are you with yourself? And how abusive do you get with

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yourself when life gets stressful, and especially if

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you're the kind of single who's kind of sad and frustrated to be

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single, you'd love to be in a relationship. But it's somehow

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not working out, you're not meeting people, the people you

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meet are boring, or not a good match. I want to tell you

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something, if you keep abusing yourself like this, and if you

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don't allow time for relaxation and intimacy with yourself. And

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it doesn't mean masturbation. Yeah. Sometimes it's quite the

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opposite. Sometimes we masturbate in a way that is very

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destructive, and just, you know, a full on release, but it's it

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has nothing to do with intimacy. You will not make space for a

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person in your life. Right, you will overwork yourself, you will

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be stressed out, you will be not you will be starved of intimacy.

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And then once you meet a person, you're kind of totally burned

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out, even though you put on makeup, or you put on your

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nicest clothes and drive your best car or your best

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motorcycle. But you will be so starved on an intimate level

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that you can actually really intimidate other people by that.

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And they will not want to connect with you on a deeper

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level. Because they feel overwhelmed. And also, they feel

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you would never make time for them because you're so extremely

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busy. So what I always advise my single people out there who come

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to my one on one coaching is that you have to start

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pretending that there is a person in your life already. And

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this person is you. And to not go over your limits and abuse

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yourself all the time. But to take breaks to make a beautiful

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meal at the end of the night or for lunch, to have a clean bed

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to have a clean house and to do it for yourself. Because all

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those excuses that we make that. Yeah, once I have a partner, I

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am going to be intimate. Once I have a partner, I'm gonna work

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less. But don't you see that you put a lot of pressure on their

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partner that is supposed to come into your life and are you not

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worthy enough to live a good life already without a partner?

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I'm just asking you this and I want you to be radically honest,

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if you burn yourself out now. If you are starved of intimacy,

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it's going to be tough to invite a new person into your life

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because you may underwhelm them or overwhelm them with your

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needs if you don't meet them before you meet this person. Now

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how can we make sure to stay patient to keep and protect our

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peace and to be intimate with ourselves? No matter if we have

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a partner or not. There is beautiful meditation practices.

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There is beautiful bath soaps, right a relaxation bath is

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wonderful to treat you Self to relaxation massage is wonderful

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to massage yourself with a lotion or oil. It's incredibly

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healing, and soothing. And you for you guys out there who roll

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your eyes, be it girls or guys, try it out, make it a little

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ritual after going into the shower to put some oil onto your

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skin and see what happens. Because our body is being abused

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most of the time at work. We're doing movements, we sit in

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positions that are not awesome. And yeah, we go exercise and

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move. But is it in a loving and caring way? And can you give

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that to yourself first and then invite other people to add to

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this so that you're not completely starved out when you

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meet your next partner. And also for you, as a partner, if you

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have a spouse, if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, can

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you still take care of your physical needs first. And then

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once you want to connect on a deeper level with your partner,

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to invite them in and communicate with them what what

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is it is that you like instead of having them doing all the

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work and cleaning after your non commitment to self care, so to

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say. So as a single right now, you could start already and

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massage your feet, massage your legs, massage your arms. And if

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you have the extra money, instead of spending spending it

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on expensive TV, Netflix, Amazon, whatever is out there

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for entertainment, maybe try it out for six months or so to

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shift the money spending more into self care and helping your

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nervous system to cool down. It will not only relax you from the

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stress that you have right now, but it will also make you more

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resilient for the future. And that's when you're not going to

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need to lose your shit over stuff that goes sideways.

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Because you will know okay, and habits. And I will catch myself

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and I will communicate clearly to others and everything will

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fall into place. So your investment in yourself in your

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stress management through a coach and it doesn't have to be

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me if there is a coach out there that you feel drawn to and know

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that they could really help you then please reach out to them,

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contact them and ask them for help. Because what a coach can

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offer you is not just a short term solution. It is a long term

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solution that they a good coach offers to you, which is life

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changing. And he provides you with tools that you will have

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for the rest of your life so that you can handle stressful

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situations more gracefully. So intimacy is extremely important.

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We are all sensual beings. I know there's women out there,

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maybe men out there who said they don't need that. It's not

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important. But I feel we need to talk about it more because we

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all need it. But sometimes we just don't want to allow it.

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It's a nuisance. It's it's tough to open up your heart once you

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were bullying yourself for so long, and abusing yourself

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through stressful situations. And then you also don't feel

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like connecting with your partner when you are in a

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relationship. Because you feel it's kind of dragging you into

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the opposite direction of where you want to go. And I'm here to

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remind you that this is wrong to do. You need to focus on staying

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relaxed and being able to be intimate with yourself. And you

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will not only serve yourself but the people around you as well.

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When it comes to peace of mind, then it is really important to

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find out how you can bring your nervous system down.

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Not you know down low and to the pressure but to bring it back to

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center so to say and to To be in a state of mind that is good to

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be in, to not need Netflix or you know, all kinds of

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entertainments porn to distract you, but to genuinely coming

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back to center, again, meditation can help you. And if

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you go through my season 123. And I think for maybe as well, I

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have a couple meditations recorded for you. And also for

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people who don't want to meditate, I was, for the longest

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time, a very restless person. And I know what it feels like to

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sit down and to do nothing. And I want to say, or I got the

Unknown: 00:20:45

feedback that I do it in a very entertaining and fun way to help

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people calm their minds down. And if you have a question if

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you want to, if you need more than don't hesitate to reach out

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to me and I'll, I'll send you a personal meditation if you

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wanted to, to help you come back to center to your peace and to

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know that things will evolve, things will come back to normal

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soon, but you got to do your part and keeping your cool. And

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sometimes, from childhood on. We are used to throwing tantrums

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and to become abusive with ourselves and with others. And

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we think that's the only way we can rewire these neural pathways

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and learn new ways to handle stress in a more graceful way in

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a more productive way even where it still feels good. And I'll

Unknown: 00:21:50

centac But you will get more done. So I think I'm going to

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leave you with that for now. If there's any add ons, additions,

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questions, please never hold back. Contact me on Aurora

Unknown: 00:22:08

Eggert, Aurora coaching my two How do you say profiles I have

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on Facebook and I'm going to connect with you gladly. I'm

Unknown: 00:22:20

going to leave you with that you are appreciated. You are loved.

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If you listen to my podcast, I know you have a growth mindset.

Unknown: 00:22:30

I know you're there to change for the better. You want to heal

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and move on and be your most authentic self so I got so much

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respect for you. take really good care of yourself and I will