I sit down with Genevieve Dreizen, co-founder of Fresh Start Registry, for a candid conversation about rediscovering yourself after a long-term relationship ends and finding unexpected love across the ocean. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable journey from a 10-year relationship that wasn't quite right to meeting her now-husband through a chance encounter in a Scottish museum—a story straight out of a romance novel that proves sometimes the most fantastical paths are the most authentic ones.

We explore the challenging but transformative messy middle of Jenny's story: her year of living alone in what she called "The Nest," learning who she truly was, and building a relationship with Thomas through countless hours of virtual communication before finally reuniting in Scotland. Her story illuminates how the process of becoming is never complete and how understanding who you are is essential to finding genuine connection.

Key topics include:

• Recognizing when a relationship isn't serving you, even when it's not "bad"
• The importance of creating space to rediscover yourself
• Building authentic relationships based on who you truly are
• Trusting your instincts over societal expectations
• Finding love that amplifies rather than diminishes who you are

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Fresh Start Registry - Support for those going through divorce and major life transitions
• Free resources: "Your Divorce Support Team" guide and "What to Consider When Considering Divorce" workbook
• Follow Jenny at @GenevieveDreizen on Instagram and Threads

Links

Joyful Support Movement

Lacey's Instagram

Lacey's TikTok

JSM Instagram

Joyful Support Movement Podcasts

Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

Foreign.

Welcome to Sharing the Middle, where we share our messy middles of life.

I am Lacey, your friend in the middle and guide whose claim to fame this week is cutting her own bangs and hair and really liking it.

Violet.

My almost 6 month old has gotten to pulling hair and I have to wear it up all the time and in order to feel like a human.

Now I have bangs to feel something.

I don't know.

Anyway, as usual, I'm so excited for today's episode.

We talked Genevieve Dreisen.

She is the co founder of Fresh Start Registry.

She has one of my favorite stories I've ever heard straight out of rom Com Romancelandia, which is probably why, but it's really a story of resilience and learning to listen to yourself and not the stories that the world is telling you.

We have a lovely conversation and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Let's jump right in.

Welcome to Sharing the Middle.

I am so excited to be talking to Jenny Dresden today.

Did I say that I said that right?

You said it right on the go.

I know it's a really hard last name.

That's like Alsatian German, but It's.

It means 13 in German.

When I was engaged the first time I've been engaged twice now, I was like, I'm just gonna change my last name.

Because his last name was really easy.

It was like one syllable.

And I was like, I'm gonna change my last name.

It's just easier.

And then I was like, but I'm the only Genevieve Dreisen in the world.

So I decided not to.

It's one of those things where I had performance anxiety and I understand the.

Wrong thing came and I. I'll tell you, Lacy, my whole life, I know that when teachers are reading the roll call and they pause, that's me.

And I'm here because Genevieve Dreisan, which is my full name.

And you asked before Jenny or Genevieve, and I said Jenny.

It's a lot of names.

Why?

I've been Jenny my whole life.

Because a little six year old is like Genevieve.

Nobody can say it.

Dries in.

Nobody can say it.

I very much understand it.

Do you want to take it again just for the podcast?

No, I want to leave this in.

You know what?

This is important to me.

It's a hard name and it's also like, breaks the rules of grammar.

That's what it is.

I looked at the name and I shouldn't have looked at the name.

That's where I looked down and I was like, reference no, that's not right.

It's tough and it's also hard when you have a podcast.

You want to get people's names right, but it doesn't always happen.

It's okay.

And you have Grace.

That's just fine.

But thank you for being here with me today.

Why don't you go ahead and take a moment to introduce yourself to our listeners.

So I am Genevieve Genny Dreisen and I am the co founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry, the first and only divorce registry.

Registry as in support items, not as in a list of people.

We are a platform that supports people going through divorce and other major life transitions.

We have a guide of over 130 experts and growing that can help you navigate divorce.

We also have registry bundles so you can build your registry.

We have a ton of empowered education and resources, all free for people who are navigating divorce.

I am married to my wonderful husband Thomas, and we live in Edinburgh, Scotland.

He is not Scottish.

When we first started talking, I said something about him being Scottish and he was like, you know I'm not Scottish, right?

He is English.

The singer, songwriter, musician.

I like to cycle through creative hobbies and I bake a lot as a form of regulation.

That's pretty much me.

Yeah, you are fascinating.

I kept seeing little tidbits about you.

I started following you in threads or.

I honestly not totally sure.

And the more that I learned about you, that I'm like, wanna know more, I wanna know more.

So thank you.

I'm a Liam so much.

It's been one week.

It's pretty much the best thing you can say to me, so I appreciate that.

But before we dive into all of those different things, I do wanna pause.

I find sometimes when I talk about the middle, there are people who are like, oh my gosh, this is what this means to me.

There are some people that they're like, okay, but do you have a reaction or what would that look like for you?

I think the way that I react to it, I have a part that I was thinking of and bringing to the podcast, but I think I feel like we're always in the middle.

I. I always say we're in a constant process of becoming.

We're never done.

And so I kind of feel like I'm always in the messy middle because the goalpost keeps moving.

That's life, right?

And I think it's kind of like the lucky of us get to age.

Right?

Like, those who are lucky grow a year older.

Those who are lucky are still in the middle.

Right.

If you look at life as a timeline, it's mostly the middle, right?

Yeah, it might not be the middle, but it's mostly the middle.

So that's what comes up for me immediately.

But I did have a. I was thinking about something.

It did feel like a very much a middle in my life.

Tell me about it.

I was with somebody from the time I was 22 until I was 30.

We dated for a number of years, moved in together, got engaged, and we were supposed to have a.

So you can imagine what happened to that wedding.

My bridal shower was the weekend before lockdown.

And it was hard for me because I'm a middle child.

My older sister was born with a congenital heart defect, so there's a little bit of last child syndrome with me.

The baby is a boy, and then my dad has a daughter from a second relationship, so I'm the middle child.

And I was like, and I'm a Leo.

And I was like, this is my moment.

Like, it's gonna be about me.

And my fiance wasn't like a bridezilla, but it was like, this is my moment.

And to be honest, my fiance wasn't super interested.

He was and wasn't interested in wedding planning only when it was really annoying.

Asks like, can we have a bonfire on the property?

And I was like, at the historic Vanderbilt Mansion, we're having the wedding.

I'll ask.

My sister was like, you're not gonna ask?

I was like, I'll ask.

They're gonna say no.

That was really hard for me to give that up because I had sort of lived a life as a middle child.

I didn't feel forgotten.

But a lot goes on when you have an older sister who's very.

A lot of personality, very big personality, very extroverted and medically complicated.

Fine.

Like, you know, had hard stuff.

And then a little brother who's just like, you know, it's a Jewish family.

It's a little boy.

Like, you know, that was hard for me to give up the wedding, but I really wanted to make that relationship work because he was really good on Paper, he's a good guy, but he was really good on paper.

He's a nice guy.

He'd been involved, you know, I'd been with him for 10 years by this point.

You can't keep fighting city hall at that point and you're like, Covid and Covid and Covid.

So I said, okay, screw it.

I was a professional wedding officiant for 10 years.

And so I had done so many weddings and I always really loved the weddings that were really small or where they had the ceremony really private.

And so we had already planned to do the ceremony on a Thursday with just our families.

And then the wedding was just gonna be a party, like on a Saturday, Thursday, Friday night, people were gonna come into town.

I grew up in this wonderful town on Long island called Huntington.

It's wonderful.

So everybody was gonna come.

We were gonna get in the Airbnb, have some friends, stay with us.

We were gonna do the welcome party at this really cool place in town.

So it was gonna be Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

I was like, we'll just scale back to the Thursday event.

Do it at some point.

And I was like, well, let's have a baby.

And we were talking about that.

And our 10 year anniversary came, June came around, and we were talking about starting to try to have a baby.

And he just, he just wasn't like.

You just could tell he wasn't like thrilled about his idea.

And that's a really horrible position to be in, to be like, yeah, I wanted to be with somebody that wanted to be excited to have a kid with me, you know.

And it had always been something I was really clear about at that time.

We ended up just having this really.

Is this whole day Lacy.

Like, I know I'm supposed to get to the middle part, but the story so quickly because it's one of my favorite stories.

My dad lives in Manhattan.

My parents divorced when I was 7.

My dad lives in.

Lives in Manhattan.

At the time my brother was living with him, my brother was like 29.

They had a cat.

The cat was named Elvis.

It was Thursday morning, Thursday, June 17, they were supposed to put the cat down.

The cat was very ill.

The plan was that my brother and my dad and the cat's corpse were gonna come to Queens where I lived.

Cause I had a car.

I have, well, still have a car.

It's a crv, lives on Long island.

And meet up with me and my brother's girlfriend, who's now his fiance.

For some reason, my ex wasn't gonna come with us.

I don't know why.

We were all gonna drive my car out to my mother's house, who had agreed to let my dad bury his cat in her front yard because they wanted to have a place that my brother could visit the cat.

Okay.

So my mom and my stepdad have been together since I was about seven.

It was gonna be my dad, my brother, my brother's girlfriend, cat's corpse, and my mom, my stepdad, my sister and her two kids, and me.

We were all gonna do this funeral.

And again, like, retroactively.

I'm like, why was my ex not gonna come?

He was very involved in the family.

The night before this, my ex and I just sort of fall into this conversation of what's not working?

And I.

And he was like, let's not talk about it.

And I was like, let's talk about it.

Knowing that my dad was gonna come the next day, and if I couldn't drive my car because I was too upset, my dad could.

No.

And so it was kind of like I knew myself well enough to know that I could sweep it under the rug, you know, Like, I could be like, no, no, it's okay.

You'll grow up eventually, you know?

And so we had this conversation, and we packed up my stuff that night.

Oh, in the conversation, he said he started the conversation.

I'm amazed that he's never heard me say this on a podcast, but he seems to not have heard it yet.

He started the conversation by saying, I don't think I love you anymore, and I don't think we should have a baby together.

And I was like, that makes sense, because it doesn't really feel like you love me.

And I took off my engagement ring that I love.

Can I just pause right there?

Yes.

I feel like, to me, that sounds like an end of October6.

I know.

My best friend's husband was like, did he say that to anyone before?

Like, did he try that out?

Cause I don't think he did.

I think it just came out.

It's funny.

Cause he was the one fighting having the conversation.

You don't love me.

Why would you not want me to know that so I can go live my life?

Um, yeah, it does feel like the end of the conversation, and it kind of was, in a way.

But I loved my engagement ring.

I will say this.

If you ever think about that, you may want to resell your engagement ring.

Don't go with super thin gold and a black diamond, because I got 70 bucks for it.

And it was a $2,000 ring.

So I took off my Engagement ring, and he wanted me to keep it for all the people that are like, you should have given it back.

He wanted me to keep it.

What was he gonna do with 70 bucks?

I took off my ring dramatically.

All right, take off the ring.

Put it on the table.

I just knew my life was gonna be beautiful.

I saw the clouds part, and I was like, my life is gonna be amazing.

The next day, my dad came and my brother, and we packed up my stuff, and I ended up having to go back two more times to get the respite.

I moved out to Long island, and I was amazing.

I don't have to live an hour away from my sister anymore.

I can live in the town.

We can be together all the time.

And I moved into this really sweet apartment.

And I. I filled it with furniture.

Like $10,000 worth of furniture.

And everything that you need, I left with basically just my clothes.

That year.

I lived in that house.

Was my messy middle of.

Of figuring shit out.

It's funny, because I was like, I'm gonna be with my sister all the time.

I call it my allergic to people year.

I could not be around anyone.

I was so sensitive.

I gave up the lease at the end of the year, and we'll get to that.

But in that middle time, one of the things that happened was that I had.

We came to visit him, and then we came to spend a couple of days in Edinburgh.

I walked into a museum.

My mom and I had walked into a museum, which we found out later was the wrong museum.

It was not the place that we intended to go.

There were two people working there, and my mom is gorgeous and an artist and a flirt, and there was a handsome guy, and she beelined at first, but my mom is also a great wing woman.

She talked to the guy, and then she was like, hey, get in the game here.

I started talking to this guy whose name was Thomas, and we talked for, like, 20 minutes.

He said he was writing some poetry.

I said, oh, I write poetry.

He said, do you know any competitions?

I said, yeah, maybe.

And then we.

You know, my mom had just gotten Facebook, so she was giving her Facebook information to everyone, and we became Facebook friends.

He emailed me the poems.

I felt really stupid because I didn't know anybody, and so I just never answered.

But we would keep up on Facebook.

I would like his status.

I knew when he had a girlfriend, you Know, and on the 10th anniversary with my ex, had, like, liked something of his on Facebook.

Thomas's.

And he messaged me.

It was a very flirtatious message.

And I said, like, you know, very politely, it was like, I'm engaged.

And.

Yeah.

But I knew there was some sort of interest.

And so when I broke up in my hex, I'm back living at my mom's for two weeks and trying to figure out my life.

I got the apartment within the week, but I couldn't move in right away.

I messaged him and I said, I'm single.

I made a big life change.

He said, what did you do?

I said, I ended my engagement.

We started talking.

I booked a ticket to come see him two days after we started talking, which was a lot, both financially a lot and emotionally.

I was going to have to quarantine in his apartment for 10 days.

Which at first sounds really cool.

And then you're like, that doesn't maybe sound so great.

So I.

And then I canceled.

It took it like six hours after I booked it.

And we started talking every day.

And it was interesting because a lot of that time that I was in that apartment, in that middle ground for the year, was me just doing a lot of thinking, and I had to really figure out.

So Thomas and I started talking all the time.

Like, he was on furlough, so he wasn't working because of COVID and he was naturally a night owl.

So we would start talking out his time and stay on the phone sometimes for six hours, Skype for six hours.

And then we'd be in touch all day.

And I would literally go out on walks by myself, no headphones, and just be like.

And I, like.

We said, I love you.

Within a month, I'd be like, do I like him?

Do I love him?

Or do I just love the story?

And I really had to, like, do some real thinking.

Cause I was like, what am I doing?

I'm finally on Long island, you know?

And I can't just be like, yeah.

And at this point, we never touched.

Like, you know, And I went to.

So then September came, and.

No, October.

I booked a ticket for October to come back here for two weeks.

Which was a pretty big leap of faith at this point.

We've been speaking every day and night for three months, right?

So I kind of knew him.

Two weeks is a long time.

Two Weeks is a long time.

One of the things that I always tell people is when I first booked the ticket that I ended up canceling, after a while, the adrenaline comes down.

I really wanted him to know how much I liked him and I was still dating.

And I wanted him to understand that even though he didn't expect me to stop dating.

I've been with somebody for 10 years, but I wanted to be like, I like you so much.

This is what I'm willing to do.

Which isn't a great reason to book a ticket.

I was going to come here for two weeks.

It was like, I was gonna come July 14th to August 1st, which is over my birthday.

And I was like, oh, this is crazy.

And I thought to myself, well, he might be mad at me.

And then I was like, there was another voice of me going, what do you care if he's mad at you?

You don't know him.

Three days ago, he was nobody to you.

So you're willing to fly to Scotland, where you don't know anybody else and stay in this guy's apartment, which could be terrifying because you're afraid he might be mad at you.

That's stupid.

We can't be doing that.

That's dangerous.

Right?

So I canceled the ticket.

I called him, and I think he had just gone to bed at 6 in the morning, his time.

And it was like 7 in the morning, his time.

I called him and he answered immediately.

And I said, I can't do this.

He said, okay, because I think he was freaking out.

He'd been completely isolated for 18 months.

He said, okay, just.

Why?

And I said, I don't think it's very safe, and I don't feel unsafe.

And he said, I only ever want you to feel safe with me.

Yeah.

I went downstairs and I told my mom, like, I think I'm screwed now.

Because he was really nice about this.

Like, by doing the thing and then him not having the risk.

Exactly.

I was hooked after that.

I came here in October, and I remember distinctly, it was an amazing trip.

We had an amazing two weeks together.

My brain was like, you live here now.

You live with him.

This is it.

I was amazing.

And I went home, and I remember taking myself on one of those walks and being like, you have to figure, like, I you.

I know you love him, and I know you believe that you love him, but let's slow it down because this is a big deal.

We talked about the future, and we knew that we had to be together.

It was very clear.

But doesn't make sense to bring somebody to live in America.

Any level, on many levels.

On a logistical level, in and of itself, which is I, at this point, my sister and I ran a marketing company together.

I was making some money, but not enough money to get somebody on health insurance.

He works in a physical place and I don't.

And so it's like, well, that doesn't make sense, right?

You're going to bring somebody over here away from everything that they know.

It just didn't make any sense.

I really have to think, like, is this person, do I really love them or do I love the story?

It didn't take a lot of thought for me, but I made sure to put effort into that because I've seen people fall in love with their own stories before.

And as you're talking, I'm like, jenny, have you written this book?

Like, there are so many things that I.

Cause I am.

I'm in the background of my mind writing a book, a novel of a romance.

Because I love romance.

And literally, the things that I've been learning because I read a book about it, I'm like, oh, that's what that plot point is.

That's what that beat is.

It's so.

Yeah, on point.

It is.

It's such a weird tension because you said before we started recording, share as much as you are comfortable with.

And I'm so comfortable sharing so much of our story.

But I have a big thing about authenticity versus intimacy.

Like, I show up very authentic, but there's so much stuff that nobody knows because it's none of their business.

And so it's really hard when you're writing a book.

Cause you're like, what do I share?

Like, it's easy to do on podcasts, right?

But when you start writing a book about it.

So I have a sort of working copy of a novelization of our love story that I'm trying more to focus on how she got here.

Our story is like, maybe I'll change details.

Meanwhile, he's like, I don't care.

Do whatever you like.

Share whatever you want.

I agree with you.

But it's interesting because it's also pretty boring.

Not boring, but stable.

It's very stable.

I laugh because while we were apart, I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends one day, and I was like, I'm just so afraid for the other shoe to drop.

Like, what's the.

The problem gonna be?

And she goes, he's in Scotland.

You're not with him right now.

That's the problem.

You're solving it.

That Year of living in my apartment and trying to negotiate, like, who am I?

I came out of that relationship.

I'm very much me.

I've always very much been me.

I have things that I like and I don't like.

I think I just got so lost in the caretaking of everybody else.

My sister has her two kids and I was really involved.

And then she got divorced.

I was really helpful and my ex required a lot of caretaking.

I graduated university and got with him.

We would spend a lot of time going to see friends in the city.

And we moved into the city and worked at this company together.

It was like, oh, I must like people.

I must be an extrovert because I'm always around people.

You know, I spent this year being like, actually, I'm really introverted.

I like to spend a lot of time alone.

I like to do these things alone.

And I think one of the sadnesses that I have is that I was allergic to people for that whole year when I could have been spending time with my.

I didn't know that the end of that year I was gonna end up moving to Scotland, right?

And on Saturdays, I go to the farmer's market.

Cause I could walk into town, it was amazing.

And my aunt would be like, I wanna go with you.

And I'd be like, no, I just wanna do these things on my own.

Cause I think for so many years I had things on my own because my ex wasn't that interested in doing them with me.

I can just do them on my own because I love it.

The rent was so expensive, but it was so beautiful.

And I loved curating that place and I loved cleaning that place.

And I love being in that space.

And I'm so glad the.

The sign behind me says the Nest.

My brother's fiance made it for me because that's what I called it.

I had her make that sign for me.

And I don't have my mug.

I made mugs for my husband and I bought them at the charity shop.

You can write with a mug on with Sharpie and then bake it.

And so I made mugs for, like, where we were when we fell in love.

And so mine is called the Nest.

It's like a place to reset and regrow.

And then his is called the Lair.

It's got a picture of a wolf on it.

And it's like, you know, it's got our.

Each of our dresses on it so that we always remember where we were when we fell in love.

I really feel like it was my nest that Place to like gather into myself.

And I look at pictures from year in the nest and I'm like, there she is.

And it was funny because I remember I had one outfit that wasn't packed in bags and I wore that outfit.

It was like pair of Lululemon shorts as oversized shirt and a flannel.

And I felt so much like me for the first time in so long.

That year was me really connecting with who I was, falling in love with Thomas, and understanding what that kind of expansive love can be.

Well, it sounds like you were falling.

In love with yourself again too, though.

I'm gonna cry.

My period just started today.

I'm so emotional.

Mine did too, so we can cry together.

I love it.

It's amazing.

Synced up.

I think that's true.

I think it was understanding who I was.

And I think it's interesting because they say what RuPaul says, like, if you can't love yourself, who else is going to?

I'm a Leo.

I think I'm pretty great.

The idea that you can't heal alongside somebody.

I did a lot of healing alongside Thomas and he was a big part of that, like witnessing and holding me in that space.

He literally said to me once, you don't have to do anything for me to love you.

Just breathe.

That's it.

I had not felt like something that I had access to before in previous relationships.

So that was a really profound relationship.

Obviously I came here and I married him.

Pause for a second because there is something so interesting here and I don't know how to articulate it yet.

So bear with me.

When it comes to the story that we tell ourselves, it sounds like you had this idea or story of what your life would look like and you tried so hard to make that work for 10 years.

Right?

And that was the wrong story for you.

The more fantastical, romance worthy story that you were worried about.

That's what felt safer to you.

Like how beautiful like that is so contradictory to what we would think would happen.

But that's so freaking beautiful.

I think that's a great way to put it.

And I think you're so right.

And I think it's funny because I think my dads, my bio dad and my stepdad, who I'm very close to, I think they both feel safer with me here in Scotland than they did with me in Queens.

40 minutes from them both.

I think they know that somebody is looking out for me.

You know what I mean?

That man will not let anything happen to me.

I think to your point, I tried I kind of feel like I tried to be normal.

It just was never going to work for me because it's never been the normal way.

Nothing's ever been the normal way for me.

And so I feel like, yeah, I completely agree.

This fantastical thing.

I literally wouldn't move to upstate, like, right outside New York City, like, upstate New York, like Cold Spring with my ex, because I wouldn't be off of Long island, like, the geographical Long island, because I was like, I need to be able to walk to my sister if something happens.

And so it was a really big deal for me to move to Scotland, but it also didn't feel like a really big deal because it was like, well, I have to be with this person in a high oxytocin way, but also in like a.

This is a person that regulates my nervous system.

Like, this is a person we breathed.

Just before this, he came into the office and he grabbed me and gave me a hug.

And I could feel him regulating my breath while we were together.

This is a person that understands me on a very deep level.

And so, yes, like, it's very.

Was a surprise that it wasn't the guy that grew up in Brooklyn.

Thomas hasn't met my sister in person, but he is my home and he's the person.

He's the person in the place that I'm supposed to be with.

But I had to understand who I was to allow that all to happen and to let that set into motion.

Lenny, I needed to hear your story today because I'm realizing as we're talking, for a lot of my life, I had this, like, kind of thing in the back of my head of wanting to live, quote, unquote, a big life, right?

And then life and being a woman and circumstances made me take that and be like, no, that's not for me.

I'm not special enough for that.

In the past three years, chronic illness onset and changed my life.

But since then, I've been learning that maybe that was wrong.

Maybe a big life isn't what I was thinking of as a big life.

Like, I can have more than one thing at a time.

But also, yeah, it is me.

I am the person that should do this and this.

Because the more that I think about doing something else, it doesn't feel right.

So maybe that's what makes this right.

Just to hear you say that, I'm like, yeah, no, sometimes it is the big thing.

Sometimes it is.

And it's funny to me because I'm like, I don't see myself like that even Though I, like.

I want to walk up to people on the street and be like, you don't understand.

It's crazy that I live here.

I literally Lacy.

When I tell you I grew up on Long Island.

I went to nyu.

I moved back to Long island to my mom's house.

I moved to Queens.

That was it.

I traveled, but that was as far as I'd ever.

I went to nyu.

It was an hour on the train.

I went nowhere.

I was the hometown girl.

So I'm.

This is crazy.

Sometimes I'm like, you've never done anything special.

I'm like, what?

You moved to Scotland for love?

You're nuts.

It's the dichotomy of both of those things.

And also, like, why not you?

My name is Genevieve.

I was a French girl.

You know what I mean?

In school, there's a girl that's obsessed with whatever.

And then I was the French girl, too.

The French girl.

And I always thought I'd love Paris because I actually went to Paris two months before I came here.

So my.

I graduated from college, and I wasn't working, and my dad was like, we're gonna go to Paris for New Year's.

And I was like, cool, I'm coming to Paris for New Year's.

So me, my dad, and my little sister went to Paris for New Year's.

And then my mom was like, I'm gonna go to Scotland to visit your brother.

And I was like, I'm coming.

I'm not getting a job.

Like, I'm gonna put that all for a little while longer.

And so I came to Paris in December and January, and I came here in March.

I thought I'd fall in love.

And it's a beautiful city.

That is not my home city.

This is.

And it was funny because I was walking up the stairs the other day, and we live in an old, older building, and it's like, marble stairs, and I had, like, two baguettes in my bag, flowers under my arm.

I was like, holy shit.

I'm living my childhood dream.

It doesn't look exactly like it, right?

It's a little different.

But this, like, you fell in love with an amazing man who lives in a foreign country, and you moved to go be with him.

Like, little Jenny is so fucking proud of you.

Because I would be with my ex, and I'd be like, I just think that you can be with somebody that, like, tells you you're beautiful all the time.

Like, I think that that might be a thing.

And then with my husband, I got some new dresses.

Today and I came in and one of the dresses in a very form fitting dress and I'm a very curvy girl.

I said, well, this is a home dress.

He goes, because it showed my lower belly pooch.

I was raised by society to be ashamed of that.

Yeah.

And I said, as you know, it's a home dress.

And he goes, why?

Why would this be a home dress?

You look amazing in that dress.

And I was like all of those things that I thought maybe somebody.

There are men out there that will be like this.

I was right.

And like you said, I was in the wrong story.

I always said my package was delivered to the wrong house.

Like I was never supposed to be there.

I say all the time that I didn't know men like my husband existed.

Yeah.

And so I think that's one of the reasons why contin doing this podcast is something that I want to continue to do is because the more that I realize that one we can find something of ourselves and other people's stories all the time and that there's so much that unites us.

One of the biggest problems in, in we'll say the us right now is there is such a one story driving factor of like, this is what good is and this is what right is and what life should look like.

We need to have all the different stories out there.

Be happy to say, oh, wait, I was delivered into the right place.

I just have been fighting what that right is for me.

That's.

You just think you're like reaffirming why I do this.

And yeah, I always say to my husband, I couldn't have even asked for you because I didn't know that this existed.

I didn't know that there were men, that sports weren't their biggest interest and priority in life.

I just didn't even know that that existed.

I can't.

I mean, my ex sold me that I shouldn't expect him to hang out with me at our wedding because he saw me all the time.

And it's one of those things where I'm like, I come get it.

Yeah.

You're like.

But then my husband and I decided to elope because we didn't want to see anybody else on the day of our wedding.

We just wanted to be together and.

To someone that is the right person.

Right.

That doesn't make it wrong.

Like, right.

And I was like, okay, yeah.

I was like, that does make sense.

But in reality that's not what I want.

I want somebody.

You know, like I said to you, I don't Know if it was on recording or not.

Like, my husband met from like in place playing like musical beds this week because both of us have had back issues.

The other night he was like, I want to be back in the bed with you.

Like, I miss you.

And like, I felt like with other men I'd been with, it was like, oh, are you here again?

You know what I mean?

I think that there's a problem in society.

So much of it gets into our blood.

Of like, of course your husband doesn't like you, but I mean, that's what a long term relationship looks like.

And you can just be with somebody that likes you.

And I also think you can be with somebody that's like, you likes the same things that you like and, you know, opposites attract.

And that's wonderful.

But, like, do you want to be fighting that your whole life?

Of like, well, he's an extrovert and I'm an introvert and he loves to party.

And, you know, I really want to be home.

And that's fine if you do, but just at least think about it because I think for me it was my ex loved camping and hiking.

I do not.

I said to him when we broke up, you should find somebody that happily does that stuff with you.

But you shouldn't try to convert me into that because it's never going to work.

You can just be with somebody that likes you and that is like you in a lot of ways.

Well, we are getting to the end of our time together.

Thank you again because I needed your story today.

What would you say is like a piece of advice?

Now, it could be related to your story, not related to your story, but what is a piece of advice that you love to hear or give?

It doesn't have to be bad for it not to be good.

Like, you're allowed to want more.

It doesn't have to be.

You know, my sister and I have very different stories.

She had an emotionally abusive experience.

I did not.

And when we broke up, he said, it's gonna be fine.

And I said, hold up.

I said, we have fine.

We found fine.

I said, we have to go find great.

That's our responsibility now is to go find great.

It doesn't have to be bad for it not to be good.

I don't think that there's any bad reason to end a relationship.

Because if you're willing to end a relationship over a bad reason, then that should be ended.

And therapy is important, you know, and part of that, my attachment styles, obviously I recognize.

But if you're willing to end a relationship because of something like that.

Yeah, it's a sign.

And so you're allowed to just want more.

You're allowed to want more love, you're allowed to want more passion, you're allowed to want more laughter, you're allowed to want more connection, more intimacy.

It is allowed.

That doesn't make you needy, that doesn't make you high maintenance.

You're just allowed to.

You are, listen, I don't know if you're going to be successful finding more, but you're allowed to go try.

Well, where can people find you?

I'm on Instagram and threads as Genevieve Dreisen.

You can find us one word, Genevieve Dreisen.

Put it in the show notes.

You can find Fresh Starts at on Instagram at Fresh Starts registry.

Fresh Starts Registry.com if you are looking for any resources you're navigating divorce or major life changes.

My sister Olivia, who's the CEO, does free 15 minute divorce resource consults.

So if you're, if you are navigating divorce, if your best friend, your sister or your parents are and you don't know where to start or they need resources or they're overwhelmed, book a divorce resource, consult with her.

She will send you a massive email.

I saw, I asked the other day, I was like, I've never seen the email.

Can you send it to me?

It's this email with tons of resources, expert recommendations.

We refer people directly to our experts because we know and trust them.

If you're looking for any of that, we also have two free PDF ebooks on the website.

One is called you'd Divorce Support Team.

All about every question to ask when you're going through a divorce, like ask your lawyer, ask a therapist so you can vet people appropriately.

And also make sure you're getting the information you need.

And then we also have what to consider when you're considering divorce, which is a book and a workbook that takes you through everything that you need to think about paperwork that you need to find.

I just finished formatting.

Olivia has to do a second pass on our third book, which is called how to get a divorce as a stay at home parenthesis, which is a resource for people to figure out because it's a question we get a lot, which is I haven't made money in 10 years.

How do I get divorced?

Those are totally free and we don't collect emails for those.

Like, we're really obsessive about the privacy of people, that we don't want people to feel like we're tracking them then.

If you are a divorce professional looking to get in on this, we run a membership community for divorce professionals.

It is $25 a month to be listed with some other benefits like professional networking, having your events shared and then for $55 a month you get your listing and you get all your ventured you get professional networking.

We also have seven offerings a week including two hours of open office business coaching.

You can come on our podcast as many times as you want.

We have three podcasts that you can come on and we do PR and media placements for our experts.

So it's a really good deal for $55 a month.

Um, and we are growing.

I set a goal this month for a certain amount of experts and we did it.

We 4x it I guess is what you would say.

So that's exciting.

We're growing fast.

We're looking for divorce lawyers and therapists in every state so that we're covered.

So if you're one of those and you hear this, reach out to us.

We are hireshstartsregistry.com awesome.

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your middle with me and everyone today.

I really enjoyed our chat.

Thank you for having me.

It was so enjoyable.

I love talking about this stuff.

I think so important because I think you're right.

Your story is somebody else's roadmap and you don't know who it's going to help.