This podcast episode elucidates the impactful narrative of Becky Curran, a distinguished advocate for individuals with disabilities, as she shares her journey and experiences. Central to our discussion is the profound emphasis on community, resilience, and the importance of open dialogue surrounding disability. We delve into Becky's personal story, her advocacy work, and the challenges she has faced, particularly in light of her late son, Jackson, who also had dwarfism. Our conversation explores the societal perceptions of disability, the necessity of inclusivity, and the shared responsibility of fostering understanding and support within our communities. As we engage with Becky, we not only highlight her remarkable contributions but also encourage listeners to reflect on their own roles in promoting a more equitable world for all.

The podcast delves into the personal narratives of individuals within the disability community, particularly focusing on the experiences of Becky Jackson Kern, who has dwarfism and various health challenges. The discussion explores the societal perceptions of disabilities, the importance of community, and the struggles faced by those living with disabilities. Kern shares her journey of navigating her own identity and the impact of her son's tragic passing on her life. She emphasizes the significance of representation and advocacy for individuals with disabilities and how her experiences have shaped her desire to contribute positively to society. The podcast serves as a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the need for an inclusive community that values diversity.

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we discuss the importance of amplifying the voices of the disability community, emphasizing that every individual's story contributes to a larger narrative of resilience and advocacy.
• I reflect on my experiences as a polio survivor, illustrating how my journey has shaped my understanding of disability and the necessity for community support.
• Becky shares her profound journey, including the challenges she faced after the loss of her son, which highlights the emotional complexities of navigating life with disabilities.
• The importance of representation in media is underscored, as we explore how portrayals of disability impact societal perceptions and individual self-worth.
• We delve into the notion that adversity can lead to personal growth and resilience, as exemplified by our discussions on navigating challenges in daily life and relationships.
• Finally, we emphasize the significance of community in fostering connections among individuals with disabilities, advocating for inclusivity and understanding across various platforms.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• AGUIAR Professional Training
• CAF Towns Athletes Foundation
• Disability Inn
• Achilles International

The following is a productions original series.

Hello, and welcome to Walk and Roll Live.

I'm Doug Vincent along with Addie Rich.

Our podcast is dedicated to amplifying the voices of the disability community.

Me, I'm a pair of.

I'm a polio survivor.

You're not sure what you are.

What am I?

I have cerebral palsy.

There we go.

Good, good.

Welcome back.

How was your week?

My week was good, but I'm really tired of it being hot and rainy.

That was, like, literally every day was hot and rainy.

Repeat.

Hot and rainy.

Repeat.

Is that summertime?

Pretty much.

Yeah, it is.

But, like, I forget we were talking about this before we started the show.

I forget, like, it's the end of July, so I'm like, why is it so hot?

It's the end of July.

Yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense.

You know, I remember growing up, you know, I've always lived in Southern California, which basically, it's all a desert, you know.

Yeah.

And, you know, we've added a lot of water, so, you know, big parts of it.

Los Angeles.

And that whole area, you know, doesn't really seem like a desert, but it's a desert, so.

Yeah, but.

And we never get rain other than some rain.

And it was that way where you grew up, right?

Where.

Yeah.

You know, it went.

It was all winter time.

It wasn't anything out of that.

It was really an occurrence if it ran, if it rained anytime outside of that.

But I would always hear, you know, it'd be the middle of July and it's.

It's flooding in Georgia, you know, I was like, yeah, what do you mean it's flooding?

Why is it raining in the summertime?

You know?

Yeah, no, it's crazy.

Like, I literally don't.

You know, I'll look at my weather app because I'm like, all right, what time is the rain coming?

I'm not thinking, is it going to rain?

I'm thinking, what time is the rain gonna hit?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's kind of a daily occurrence, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, just a shower in and out.

Everything's wet.

Yeah.

And I'm like, if I have to go anywhere, like, do I wear pants even though it's blazing hot?

Because when it rains, and honestly, truthfully, a lot of times it doesn't cool down.

It just gets steamy.

As heck.

Yeah.

But I'm like, what shoes should I be wearing?

Because, you know, Bambi.

I'm a little bit of Bambi.

So flip flops are not the best in rainy conditions.

So you do you like, like keep a couple different types of shoes with you?

Yeah, just.

I mean, sometimes I'll be like, okay, I need to wear sneakers because even though my feet are going to be hot and I don't want to wear socks, like, it's going to rain and I need to be able to get in and out of the grocery store without splatting or something.

You know, I do actually look at the forecast before I leave to be like, what, what shall I bring?

When I was on the radio, you know, it'd be around probably June or July.

You know, I'd see.

I would just, you know, I do the weather.

And they still wanted us to do the weather.

It was like fair and hot through September.

Yeah, you can do like a big swath of weather for a month at a time.

Whereas us, it's like, I mean, that's the joke for Florida is if you don't like the weather, wait 10 minutes, it'll change.

I feel like that kind of extends to Georgia.

We're very close.

They used to say that I visited a friend in Colorado and that was.

But they said, sure enough, you know, around three o' clock in the afternoon, you know, I was out there watching them play tennis.

Pretty soon it's raining.

And we were driving, we were driving home and I think we were coming, you know, still in Colorado.

We're coming across on interstate freeway and.

And yeah, all of a sudden it starts raining.

We're just pouring.

Not just, you know, little sprinkles pouring.

And before I had a chance to roll up my window, we were out of it.

Yeah, no, you literally can like drive through a storm.

I watched some friends, they were doing their, like one wheel and skateboard, like, I don't know, scooter.

I'm sorry it was a scooter.

But I was being the audience and, you know, we heard some thunder rumbles.

And so obviously I'm the audience.

They're farting around, so I'm like looking up to see how long, you know, how gray is the sky.

And we literally waited until like the big clap of thunder before we went back to the car.

Close.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And then, you know, just slide into the car and it pours.

It's like a game.

It's like dodgeball with Mother Nature.

Yes, yes, yes.

Well, how was your week?

Well, I was gonna say all of that to say I got my roof fixed this week.

Yeah, they got.

They got through it very quickly.

They came, you know, I was trying to kind of find a window for them where after it stopped raining and before it started getting this hot and you know, they were up there on one of the hottest days of the year so far.

It was 105.

So I guess they're used to all that kind of thing, but yeah, all done within three or four days.

So now I guess I have to wait for the rainy season to see if it's going to leak or not.

Yeah, yeah, but that was it.

And you know, just a lot of stuff this week.

You know, I was like, I, one afternoon I, I went from like about 2 o', clock, I had a doctor's appointment and then three or four other engagements between that and 7 o', clock.

You know, there was some zoom calls and, and dinner and just something else.

It was like, yikes.

So anyway, yeah, so I want to thank Rudy Garcia Tolson for coming on and sharing his story with us and also telling us all about Caf Towns Athletes Foundation.

Thank you.

Thank you, Rudy.

I just was seeing him on social media today and he was in, what was it?

Montreal, I think it was.

Yeah, yeah, he's.

Yay.

He's got a. I don't know if this was, he was training for competition or this was recreation, but looked kind of like a competition kayak.

One man kayak.

Yeah.

And he was sitting on the dock next to it.

It looked like he had a skirt on.

So I'm imagining that's probably simply buttons onto the.

Yeah, the little hole that he sits in and makes it all watertight and all that.

So.

Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, he's doing good.

Don't forget to like subscribe and share.

Please subscribe that those numbers help us out.

You know, just we're trying to, I'm, you know, giving up on getting rich or anything, but, you know, I just like to kind of COVID some of the costs.

So that would help us immensely.

We appreciate it.

Coming up today, we are talking with Becky Curran.

I think that's how we say her name.

Right.

And, and this a gal that you ran into.

You want to give like just a brief little.

Well, I'm getting ready to like physically run into her.

But I, I, yes, I met her through my work erg, which is an employee resource group.

I am on the ADAPT Board, which is basically our disability advocacy group.

That's for, you know, people that are non disabled and disabled, all those kind of things.

And Disability Inn is going to be in Dallas next week and Becky is hosting, along with myself and some other people, a caregivers, a caregivers forum roundtable thing.

And my parent company is one of the sponsors.

And so we get to do a little blurb, but met through chit chatting there, talked a little about the podcast.

I was like, you know what, you have a great story story.

You should come hang out with us.

And so she did, and we're about to tell her story today.

Well, and there's a great example of, you know, us well, you, I want to highlight you right now.

You know, we, we talk about finding your community and you've done that with this whole thing.

You know, you're walking the walk, talking the talk.

So we appreciate that very much.

Representing Walk and Roll life.

It's fun.

It's so much fun.

I've said that a million times that, like finding you is a beautiful gift to refind each other.

But this has transformed a lot of how I view myself, my space in the world and life going forward for myself.

So I get to go do it in person for a week next week.

So.

Excellent.

All right, well, we'll look forward to hearing all about it.

Right now we're going to take a quick break and come back and talk to miss Becky right after we hear this word from of your professional training.

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From the Ag Yar Professional Training Studios, you're listening to Walk and Roll.

Live disability stories.

We're carving paths, we're building dreams we're.

Running life's great race don't raise us up on fragile words or call us.

Brave for just being we want a world that's fair and true not bound by what you see don't hold us back we're here to shine, to stay on track Judge us by effort, heart and skill not by your pity or goodwill we walk your role we climb, we fight we light our way we claim our right not your heroes just living bold Baron 3 that's our goal.

And yes, we're getting to the point of, of our, you know, the reason you show up.

Hopefully not for Addie and I talking about what we do, but, you know, the real stars of our show, and that is the people we interview.

So we've got our guest for this week.

Maybe just start with your name, where you're from, and nature of your disability, and then we'll go from there.

Hi, everyone.

I'm Becky Jackson Kern.

I live in East Boston, Massachusetts, right near the airport, so anyone can fly and come visit.

And I am a person with dwarfism.

I also identify as having mental health disabilities because I tragically lost my infant son to an accident at the hospital four years ago.

And the year after that, I underwent a major spine surgery that compromised my bowel and bladder, continuing to fight to build strength.

But I do use mobility devices.

So additional physical disabilities in addition to.

Mental health disabilities, just as a result of some life experiences, not necessarily like an accident.

You know, we hear so many different types of stories.

People who have survived a severe accident, but then in the surgery to repair the damage, then they become paralyzed.

So many variations on that scene.

It's crazy.

So.

Well, welcome.

Welcome to walk and Roll.

I appreciate you taking some time and visiting with us, and I want to thank Addie, too, for discovering you.

I don't know, maybe you could start maybe telling how you found Becky.

Sure.

It's a six degrees of separation.

We go to the abilities expo and do different things like that.

And I've been lucky enough to become part of an erg at work, which we've talked about multiple times.

And I'm lucky enough to be able to go to another conference, which is in Dallas, and Becky and I are going to work together sort of on a panel and provide some insight and stuff, and, you know.

You know how life happens.

I know how to talk.

And I was like, hey, and by the way.

Yeah.

And here we are.

So very good.

So where did you grow up, Becky?

I grew up in Weymouth, Massachusetts, about 12 miles south of Boston, and really was the only one in my community with dwarfism.

Yeah.

Was there a history in your family?

There's no history in my family, and that's very common.

80% Of families have no history before a child with dwarfism is born.

Answering my next question.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Now, does that increase the chance of you having offspring?

That's.

That's.

Yeah, go ahead.

Go.

Go ahead.

As.

As someone with dwarfism, it kind of depends on who your partner is.

But for the instance of my late son, my partner also had dwarfism, the same type as me, called achondroplasia.

In addition to just having dwarfism, there are over 400 types of dwarfism, but mine is the most common.

And there's a 50% chance that you would have a child with dwarfism, most likely our type, which is achondroplasia.

And then a 25% chance they could be average height, little people could have average height children.

Then 25% chance they'll be double dominant, meaning they would have both the dominant dwarfism genes and most likely would not have much of a quality of life.

That's the part that scares people the most, because everyone wants to have a healthy baby.

And for most people with dwarfism, having a baby with dwarfism, just like us isn't scary.

But then the rest of the world, average high population, where there's no history of dwarfism, it can be scary to them.

Sure, sure.

Are there particular health issues that come along with dwarfism?

It's the silence of it all.

Because we strive so hard to fit in with society, we hate to bring up the fact that there is truth to the medical complications that come with having dwarfism.

So right now, if we were in a room together, I would similar height to you if we were sitting down.

I have an average height torso, but shorter arms and legs.

That means that all of my organs that are supposed to fit in a torso and a taller body are more compact.

Something that's very common with my type of dwarfism.

Achondroplasia is spinal cord compression.

Basically, the spinal column is tight up against the spinal cord with potential pinching that could lead to the need for spine surgery.

So When I was 15, I had to have seven pieces of my lower vertebrae removed, and that was a laminectomy.

But then the symptoms revisited after my son passed away, and I ended up having to have a spinal fusion because once they removed the bone the first time, the more bone they remove, the more likely the spinal column could collapse.

So that's what I was thinking when you first said that, and it seemed like it was almost counterproductive.

Yes.

And.

And when I had the surgery when I was 15, they assumed that the symptoms would maybe come back maybe higher up in my neck or something.

But the symptoms were in the very same place that I was initially operated on.

And that's what led to further complications.

As a 15 year old versus a 36 year old, life looked a little bit different.

For sure.

You don't heal as quickly as you get older either.

Sorry, go ahead, Eddie.

No one told me that part.

Right.

Well, no, I was gonna say as part of I.

So I had a dorsal rhizotomy.

To reduce the what you see of cerebral palsy.

They basically went in and cut all the muscles to kind of skip the short and then restart was how it was explained to me.

But they do a laminectomy as well to get in there and do all the things.

And even now, like I was 12, and so at 47, my back constantly hurts at that spot because it has been compromised.

It's been like put back and said, okay, just fix it.

But it's like the lower back ache constantly that I think if other people had to deal with it, they would be like, can't do anything because this is just so painful.

But now it's just like a low hum for me.

And you, you learn to mute it and move on.

But I can relate.

It's interesting hearing you two talk because you know what surgeries you had, you know, the names of them, everything.

All the surgeries I went through were.

I think the last one was like 12, you know, and they started at five, so I have no idea what the names are.

And lately I've been wanting to go find an orthopedic surgeon and say, this is what I had done.

What do we call that?

You know, so I could speak a little bit more intelligently about it.

But yeah, anyway.

So what was life like growing up?

That's a great question.

I have an average height older sister.

She's three and a half years older than me.

So I think something that is a theme among families where there are children with and without disabilities, it's finding that balance, making sure that you're giving that child with the disability the support they need, especially when it comes to navigating medical appointments and just trying to fit in society in general.

So almost overcompensating while you're trying to foster a strong relationship with the average height, non disabled child.

Because the reality is someday parents won't be there and the siblings will have each other if things go in the order that they're supposed to when it comes to losing people.

But my parents just worked really hard to make sure that my sister and I had a strong bond and that they kept her informed when needed.

But when medical appointments were a little more intense, maybe it makes made sense to leave her at home.

She often says that she really enjoyed her time with my mom's sister, who's our aunt and our great aunt and uncle who also lived with her.

So we just made sure, or they made sure that there was a balance and supported us with our goals and dreams, whatever it may be.

My sister went to school in our town and then a private high school.

I chose to just go to the public school the whole time.

But we didn't really have the same friend circles because we were so far apart grade wise.

She was four years ahead of me at school, but that didn't mean we didn't have a good relationship back at home.

When my parents were first starting out on the journey after I was born, there was a lot of fear instilled in them because they just didn't know what it's like to have a child with dwarfism.

Most of the media portrayals that have existed even to this day are negative portrayals.

Whether it's munchkins, leprechauns, elves.

Like we're fictional characters that people give themselves permission to laugh at.

And when a parent is told that their child has dwarfism, their mind immediately goes there because nobody wants their child to be pointed, stared and laughed at.

And that's just the reality.

Regardless of how safe it is at home, when I go out into public, there are going to be people point staring and laughing.

And I know it's fear of the unknown.

Assuming that a lot of people assume because people with dwarfism are the height of children, that maybe we have cognitive differences as well and you could talk to us like a child.

So it's the strength that was built inside of me was based on the way that I was raised, but it didn't mean that life outside of the house wasn't going to be hard.

And I had a great friends group.

I had a friend who was in my class from preschool to seventh grade.

Our parents kind of strategized behind the scenes to allow us to be in the same class.

But to us as young kids, you're like, oh, cool, we got assigned in the same class again, right?

You're like, yes, my friend is with me.

And I really think that helped prevent some of the bullying that could have happened.

Another thing that's common with dwarfism is our narrow ear canal.

So we have tubes in and out of our ears a lot.

During one of my ear tube surgeries, it was found out that I had a perforated eardrum and blood came shooting out and it caused hearing loss.

And I joked that maybe people were bullying me and I just couldn't hear them.

But I truly think that having that ally early on really helped me have an inclusive school experience.

My mom also taught in the middle school and that helped because she had already created a culture of inclusion.

She was a special education teacher.

I did not need her services.

But I was passing her in the hallways often, and people respected her, so they respected me.

And then it was really challenging after I got back from my first back surgery because I needed to miss 29 days of school.

And my friends started dating, and they were like, we don't know if there's a place for Becky here, so how do we figure out how to include her?

But not.

She's got some Runway to catch up on, so how do we.

Yeah, yeah.

So I was excluded, and that's kind of just the reality of what happened.

And there were many days where I wish that I was getting those invitations and I wasn't.

And finally, once we got to senior year, I think everyone realized time was limited.

We didn't have much time left together.

So I started getting reinvited.

Like, people had the summer to grow up a little.

But I never forget that hard time that it was really when I started to realize that it was challenging constantly being in a world that wasn't made for me.

And it took till college for me to engage and join the organization Little People of America.

And I started to get reminders that I'm not alone with the challenges that I faced in those early days and that there are people rooting for me who have gone through similar experiences.

And to this day, I continue to have a close bond with people from around the world who just get it because they know what it's like to have dwarfism.

But I've always been intentional, too, of having a mix.

I don't.

I'm not like, oh, I'm only going to be friends with people with dwarfism.

It's really whoever I can find a connection with.

And you can also find some people in the community that you thought were good people, and they're not, like, it doesn't matter.

But that really motivated me when I got involved in the organization Little People of America.

A lot of people who I connected with happened to live in Southern California, and that aligned with my goals to change perceptions of how we see people with disabilities in the media and which influences how people were treated in society.

So I was a marketing major at school.

One of the reasons I chose Providence College was because there was a person with dwarfism on campus, and she had already been going there as a freshman when I did a tour.

So I thought, oh, there's someone like me.

And she was another person who wasn't really involved in the organization, just enjoyed being a part of her average friend groups, and it wasn't a concern for her, but just because she was there.

Her existence motivated me to go to that school knowing that people had been exposed to her.

Hopefully she spread some kindness that could then be spread to me.

And as a marketing major, I decided to do many internships related to the entertainment marketing side of things.

And I started to realize more and more that a career in entertainment would make sense because I could influence how we portray disability.

At that time, I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it was, but I took a chance and moved out to LA right after college and started looking for jobs.

I thought I had a job working for a talent manager.

She was also a little person, but she bailed on me and basically told me the job was not going to be a thing right when I moved out to la.

Have yet to meet the person of this day, but it at least got me to LA because my parents said, you need a job and a place to live before we support your move.

So I secured the job and a place to live, but the job fell through right when I got there.

So I sent out a thousand resumes, went on 100 interviews over the course of four months.

Every time I walked in the door, I was judged based on my appearance.

Did not get the constructive feedback I needed to learn how to do better in interviews.

So I assumed it was because of my short stature.

And then when I was given the opportunity to go through a temporary placement agency, I could just show up places and work and prove that I was a hard worker.

Yeah, after the third opportunity, I ended up at one of the leading talent and sports agencies and ended up there for five months.

The first seven months I was a temporary employee and then fought my way to get a full time gig and benefits and all of that.

But I was terrified of leaving that opportunity.

Most people, if they don't want to become a talent agent, they'll switch to another type of company after a year after they get that agency experience.

But I didn't know what opportunities would be next because it took so long to get there.

But after about four years there, people started asking me, what is it you're passionate about?

And that's when I could verbalize my passion for disability representation in the media and was able to put some panel discussions together on the disability and representation in the media topic.

And that led to an opportunity at CBS Television Studios where I helped with the casting of TV shows.

Hoping to include more people with disabilities.

Did not go as fast as I would like.

Did not get the support that I needed.

So then I pivoted and I moved Back home to Boston and started public speaking, sharing my story, figuring out how do I reach as many people as possible so then they can just be kinder next time they see someone like me.

Even if I don't have that same influence as the entertainment industry, I can at least make an impact in small waves.

And that's what I continue to do now, continuing to speak wherever I can, because I think that every single person I meet has the opportunity to change their mind in the way that they view dwarfism and disability.

Now, when you were trying to cast little people in those roles in your mind, I imagine it was.

It was just as another person in the cast.

It wasn't as, you know, the joke of the show.

Right, Exactly.

It was interesting.

There was one show specifically that I read the script for, because I would have to read the scripts and figure out where we could insert the person, even if it wasn't described.

Like a person could be a doctor, a lawyer or accountant.

This script was interesting.

It was.

Two guys move from Indiana to la and one of them is a homebody.

The other one wants to go out and make friends.

So he goes to a coffee shop and he meets someone who's described as 2 inches taller than a little person.

And the friend who was the stay at home guy was kind of making fun of him, of, oh, you made friends with a short person.

And even though, like, that's not great because you're, like being weird about it.

It's a realistic dialogue.

Like, people do that all the time and judge.

But the fact that they were describing the role as 2 inches taller than a little person meant that even the creators weren't looking for a little person.

Even though the dialogue was relevant.

I was trying to be like, yeah, why can't this just be a little person?

Like, we're like.

It just felt like a stab in the heart that even something that so closely describes realistic scenarios was not even an opportunity for someone.

Yeah.

Or that wasn't an opportunity as a device to have a real conversation.

Right, right.

Yeah.

So did it ever come to be.

Did that show.

No, it didn't end up.

They did cast someone who was two inches taller.

They did try to do a search for some little people after I said something, but it was so last minute.

Like they were calling people the day before the table read.

But then the show, they filmed maybe one episode and then it didn't continue.

Yeah.

So maybe that was bad that they took the wrong approach, but it was very frustrating because people, people with disabilities can be anything like you can just.

And you add more depth to the storyline.

And why does it have to just be so specific to.

Unless it says it in the script, they shouldn't be thought about.

Yeah, I mean I think that that's the argument we make all the time.

Right.

And like the variety of people that appear with us, like we have all different jobs, we all do all different things and like my mantra is always like, your limit is in your mind.

And there are so many able bodied people that their limit is much smaller in their mind.

We just are a little bit more chaotic with our containers because we've been through so much and we're like, yeah, this is sturdy.

I'm sure that's why, you know, I terrify my mom.

I always say, although I want to drive, I kind of think the universe didn't make me drive because I'd probably be dead because I'd be like, oh, it's okay.

Because there's so much that we can kind of handle that we just do it right.

And some of that fortitude is missing from people who have never been tested.

So many similarities and parallels in your story.

It's, you know, even though our conditions are different, our diagnosis are different, you know, along the lines of the parents and how you were treated.

You know, my parents did the same thing.

Is just raising us like my other disability brother and sister.

And, and so I never thought about a lot of things, you know, not until I think until I had a child.

And then I started to realize, you know, navigating the world of getting the best care and services for two little boys that were one and a little over two, you know, as new parents and just how frightening that must have been at times.

But they, I think they did a really good job.

You know, we got, we went to a school for, for disabled kids until the fifth grade and then they mainstreamed us.

And the only thing I can remember from that as a kid, you don't really care about that conversation.

You know, you're just kind of hearing it a little bit, overhearing some stuff and you know, and I know our doctor was involved and you know, had to like sign off at a recommend that we go to mainstream school.

And then that was the rest of my career.

I made friends, you know, we, my friends would, would come up with rules, you know, so I could play the games.

And you know, we were just kind of adapted to where I could play and be maybe competitive a little bit.

But you know, all those things.

So when I got involved in an organization that tries to Further, you know, advocate for people with disabilities.

I was kind of surprised at first, like, we're still doing this, you know, I mean, I figured when we were doing it so well, when I was a kid, by now it wasn't even a conversation anymore.

And sadly, I'm learning that.

No, you know, as it seems like it's gone backwards a bit.

Yeah.

And I think we're fortunate that we had that strong support system from an early age, because I think that impacts a lot and people's self esteem and how they approach the world, and even just the difference between playing victim and not and the why me?

Mentality.

I could easily have that with all the life events I've had in the past few years, but I refuse to because I choose to find joy in each day and make the best of our time here on Earth.

Yeah.

Can you.

Can you talk a little bit about that reflection?

Because I relate to that too.

You know, I remember coming up in school and when my friends started dating, you know, I just remember thinking, you know, it probably is not going to happen in high school, you know, but, you know, I was counting on, as people got older and more mature, they would look past some of those things to who I was, you know, and that was the case.

So I just love to hear your perspective.

Or the best friend that keeps all the secrets.

Right.

Like, that's what happens.

Right.

We get relegated to the friend zone who knows every secret about everybody.

And it's like, if you just sit me in the corner, I can point out this person and that person because they feel like we would never tell their secret, nor are they interested in us in that way.

I was gonna say it's particularly the opposite sex that just wants to unload about, you know, a boyfriend, you know, that's.

Yeah, you're thinking, exactly.

I won't mistreat you.

Exactly.

Yeah.

No, actually, I grew up sailing, and that was kind of my lifeline to get through those tough high school years, because I knew that every summer I had sailing to look forward to.

And that was in a town that was a few, like, miles away from where I grew up.

But it was a whole new group of people, and they didn't really judge me the same way that I was being judged during the school year, just during that brief period of time that felt like forever.

But I had a big crush on someone for, like, seven years.

And of course, I knew it was gonna never go back past the friend zone.

But exactly what Addie was saying.

You get told all these secrets and these things And.

And you're trying to hold it together and not be forward and vocalize your feelings.

My parents often observe that time as it was a good distraction because it wasn't like I was chasing after a million guys.

It was just this one I was focused on.

And it allowed me to focus on my schoolwork and not be all over the place.

But it was still hard.

But my dad has witnessed many times where maybe I feel down about one thing or the other.

And he reminds me that I could stay down but it's much better to try to get up the next day and start over.

And I kind of have thought that and lived that my whole life where it's only you that can decide if you stay down or get back up.

And I think because of the shield that I have around me after experiencing all the point stares and laughs and the way that society tends to exclude us, I can't get let everything get to me and I have to just keep moving forward.

But I can't deny that there aren't hard days.

For sure.

That'd be a lie.

Right?

Show up as a human.

Right.

You get assigned a ticket that doesn't care about your container and says some days are going to be real shit, some days are going to be amazing.

But you have to decide how many of those you're going to count.

Shit or exciting.

I feel like, you know.

Yeah.

I'm always reminded of, you know, the pressure on the coal is what produces the diamond.

Yeah.

So, you know, you look back on your life and those agonizing experiences, you know, you start to reflect that that's what made me who I am.

And I like who I am now.

Exactly.

And I think we view people like we can understand people really fast.

The way someone reacts to my difference, I can decide in a split second whether they're worth educating or not.

It's the way they approach me, the way they interact with others.

I think the problem solving skills that we gain from just having to adapt.

Even Addie and I were talking earlier about having a nice conversation and all of a sudden my day turning around when my scooter just dies on me.

Those are things you can't control.

But the commentary I got from the people who were observing me that day was that I just stayed very calm and collected because I knew there was nothing I could do.

I was secretly stressed knowing that I had travel plans the next day and I didn't know how it was going to be driving a different scooter that wasn't mine.

Four wheels versus three Wheels.

But I had to just figure it out.

Yeah.

And I, I think you just have to choose those things that are really going to bring you down and those that you can stay floating even if it means treading water really fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I always say we flex that muscle a lot so it gets a lot of, you know, use and we're good at adapting to things quickly.

Yes, yes.

So curious.

So obviously you meet your husband, partner.

Now at some point you do get a boyfriend and move on in life and create a family in some way.

So how did that kind of come to be?

I mean, obviously you're doing your adventure.

You move back to Providence area and decide you're going to be a speaker.

Is that what kind of bumps you into each other or how does that happen?

It's a good question.

I will have to clarify that he's now my ex husband.

There you go.

Notice the life events can lead to that.

So being involved in the little people organization, I did ultimately find romantic relationships.

What usually happens is you meet someone at a little people convention.

It's a week long experience every summer around the 4th of July and it could be in any given city around the U.S. usually they try to do one year east coast, one year middle of the country, one year west coast and kind of shift around so it's accessible to people financially who live in those regions.

But I've been fortunate to be able to go to most of them no matter where they are.

You may meet someone the first day or the last day or in between at those conferences.

But then the greatest challenge is figuring out how to merge lives because you most likely live on opposite sides of the country.

Right, Right.

We met at a conference in New York.

I was in la, he was in Oregon.

Figured out how to do distance for a bit.

He moved back down to la.

Then we learned real fast that we weren't meant to be together.

So kicked him out.

One of the challenges that I faced with that relationship and relationships with to follow was a different drive and a different support system back home.

I always been very passionate about having a job.

You would think one would, would want to have that, but there's a little bit of the victim role that sometimes people play and they just did not not get it together to get a job.

And that was important to me.

So then the next relationship I had was another long distance.

I was in la, he was in New York.

So all the way across the country.

Then similar thing.

I moved back Home to Boston.

And he felt that it was too close to New York, where he lived, even though I was not moving to him.

And I thought, okay, well, this is not going to help our relationship go forward.

Like Doug said that sometimes the work's going backwards.

Yeah.

So that ended.

Then I ended up dating someone who lived in Utah.

So I was back in Boston.

We did Utah.

That only lasted about six months.

It's.

It's really challenging with the long distance to try to figure out how you can make it work.

And I think you're constantly thinking of that end goal of if you really want to be together, one person's going to have to sacrifice a lot more than the other in order to move to the same place.

So then it was several years.

I ended up moving from Boston to New York, lived there for a bit, and then just through Facebook, I ended up meeting Jackson's dad.

And then we got engaged and were able to merge our lives because I got a job that was fully remote and that allowed me to move to the Midwest.

I did that for two years.

And then once the pandemic was happening and we wanted to start a family, it made sense.

Or I really wanted to make sure that was happening back home in Boston so we could be close to my family.

So we moved.

And then two months after we moved, we had.

We got pregnant and we had my son, Jackson, and he ended up having dwarfism.

Our type of dwarfism, so was not double dominant or average height.

So it was the goal that we wanted.

And he had many medical appointments.

Like Doug was saying, you just try to figure out how to get people to what.

What they need, and you learn a lot in the process.

I am honest about the different appointments he had, because I don't want to make it sound like it was so easy.

And then all of a sudden, he died.

It was challenging.

We had a lot of appointments and he had sleep apnea.

And we were in the NICU for 23 days.

Then he was being closely monitored with sleep studies and car seat tests.

And at his six month appointment for his car seat and sleep study, he stopped breathing.

And then we had to make the decision after 12 days to let him go.

And it was a big adrenaline rush in a negative way, in a confusing way.

But going through that experience, which then led to more medical challenges for me, ended up breaking the relationship.

And now it's just been a phase of rebuilding and also not wanting to take any big chances because of how much it has taken to rebuild.

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, who can't understand that?

That is a huge deal.

Life has dealt me some hands as well, without fully talking about it, But I've been a rebuilder more than once and currently kind of in that phase, trying to figure out, like, how does this look going forward and how do we.

At this age?

I'm 47, so I'm a little bit older than you, but, like, how do you.

How do you do that?

And, like, how do you prioritize yourself and dreams and decide when is the time to shake hands and be kind and find your way?

Right.

But it super sucks because the universe teaches, you know, like, make a family, have a.

Do these things in this order, and that's success.

So 100%.

Yeah.

And it's really hard because I get people all the time because I talk about Jackson, my son, so openly and share stories, and everyone says I have enough love to be able to have another child.

It's like, I logistically, right now, can't do it myself, and I just, like, I need to take care of myself.

Yeah.

You're like, yeah, nothing to give.

If you're.

If your cup don't run us over and it's an empty cup, you can't be expected to.

Right.

And just the.

The physical help that I need with certain things, like, I just wouldn't want.

Yeah.

I just.

He's.

He's my only son, and I will continue to honor him and do whatever I can to make a difference in this world on his behalf.

Well, you know, I admire you and your ability to talk about him openly.

So many times when you lose somebody in your life, people want to kind of stay away from that subject for fear, maybe of causing you pain.

But, you know, I usually talk about people that have been lost in other people's lives because I know the people that I've lost in my life.

I love to talk about them.

I love to talk about the positive things.

So is there, you know, some things in that short time of Jackson's life that.

That are the really happy moments that, you know, is.

A little personality might have been emerging?

Of course, something I love to do is stick my tongue out at him and get him to stick his tongue back.

And, of course, you could have concerns if he was gonna be fresh later in life, but it was too early to try to form those assumptions or behaviors, and it was just a way we could communicate.

He had an early intervention specialist who was encouraging him to work on tummy time, and it's just Crazy with babies watching.

The unspoken word of doing that and then her leaving and then him trying in between to do his homework without like real written or verbal description.

But he would get stuck when he would try to do the tummy time.

So I would then go help him get unstuck because he'd make like a noise and then he'd get unstuck.

Just his giggles.

I think the best part was every morning waking up and just seeing a smile.

Sometimes he had sleep apnea, so he had oxygen through the night and he would just have ripped the tube off.

But his poor cheeks were like so dry from the stickers to keep the tube in place.

But you knew you were going to be start.

We were going to be starting the day and changing him and then just laying on a blanket together.

Those were the best parts of the day.

And at night time, at about the two and a half month mark, he started sleeping straight through the night, 11 to 7.

My goodness, you got lucky.

Yeah.

So if anyone tried to interrupt that schedule, it was rough, but he was great and he just smiled and.

And he went through a lot.

Like, there was one time where we took him to an appointment where they had to do.

It was like a CT scan for his bladder and they had to do an IV for the contrast.

And it was so hard watching him or hearing him just be so uncomfortable.

And he eventually fell asleep, but those were some hard moments.

Yeah.

You realize things that are hurting your child are actually maybe going to help your child eventually.

But your brain is like, I'm going to claw your eyes out.

Please stop.

Yes, exactly.

But among those, like every time he had a cranky minute or moment, it was usually if he had peed his pants or pooped or something.

The minute he's fresh and clean, he's good.

We had a visiting nurse that came weekly, then early intervention weekly.

Really?

Just enough people keeping their eyes on him to make sure he was making the progress that he needed to make.

And I would say just for the most part, he was just a happy, giggly baby and deserved a chance to live longer.

Yeah.

But he sprinkled a lot of happiness and, yes, joy into your memory while he was here.

So absolutely.

At some point, you know, pray that you will heal enough to get to that point and give it another try.

Sounds like another child deserves you.

We'll.

We'll see where life takes us.

Right?

No pressure.

There are so many things because, like, I don't have children and we did IVF and it failed multiple times.

So I've been There.

And I learned that, you know, sometimes you're meant to be an honorary auntie or foster dogs or something so that you can be kind to other people.

I. I went to a friend's soccer game this weekend, and I couldn't help myself.

I bought Capri sun and, like, cut up oranges like a mom.

And their whole team were like, oh, my God, you're like a team mom.

I said, well, you know, I wanted to feel like a mom for a minute, and this felt like how I could do it.

So I love that.

I was just thinking about those moments when I was playing soccer growing up, because the.

They had the world's largest soccer ball here in Boston, and it was right near where I live.

And it just brought me back to soccer memories growing up.

And I was thinking about the orange slices and the rainy grass and just fun times.

But that's exactly like, I'll jump in.

I'll go to schools and speak to kids and share my story and share the story of Jackson and others.

And any way I can give back and be around people.

And even my niece and nephew, they're.

Yeah, they're great as an honorary mom to them, kind of.

And it's hard because as they continue to get older, they remember less and less.

And I don't want them to forget about him, but I'll just have to keep sprinkling him into their memories going forward, for sure.

You know, that's another parallel that, in listening to you talk is.

Is Addie and I, we didn't really find the community until a little later in life as well, you know, and then we're all in, you know, and, you know, it sounds like you had that experience, so, I mean, you touched on a little bit there, but, you know, what kinds of things are you doing for the community?

I know we talked early on.

There's a conference that you both are going to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I truly believe that it's important to create a more inclusive society that I would have wanted my son to grow up in.

And it doesn't mean that the work wasn't happening before he was born, but the fire is.

It's more.

More obvious, I guess.

So.

I enjoy going to schools to share my story.

Different grades.

I adjust the messaging based on levels of understanding, then organizations.

I like to share my story with hopes that it can help them be more inclusive.

A big part of my story is that it was nearly impossible to even get into the workforce, even with nine internships and several life experiences.

So I don't want that to happen to other people.

And then a big topic that I think is important that we continue to think about is retention and advancement.

We can't just assume that people with disabilities are only looking for jobs.

They're looking for the support to learn and grow within in organizations.

And if they're not getting that support, they can pivot.

Unfortunately, it's a true fact.

LinkedIn did a research report recently that proved that people are having to leave their jobs in order to move up at another company.

And because of all those barriers, I do like to promote entrepreneurship as well.

So there, there are ways that companies can be owned and operated by someone with a disability and get the support they need to be a vendor of choice to big organizations who have a spending budget.

There's nothing that should prevent people from going either route based on the experience or hopefully level of defeat.

Could be a motivator to pivot and know that they can still make a difference and impact in the world.

That's really important.

Yeah.

Of a professional cheerleader who's like, hey, let me help you pivot in both mindsets.

Right.

Like us as the person with disability and as the organizations that could hire them or include them or different things.

So it's important to be a change maker and be you who's willing to sit at a table and go, hey, let's talk about this.

Let's.

Let's think about this in a real way even.

I was having a conversation with an organization earlier today and they were telling me about their inclusion efforts, which didn't include disability.

And I immediately said, okay, why isn't that group part of this discussion?

And a lot of organizations assume that they need to just get started on the other areas first.

It's like, no, why don't we do them all together?

Excuse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

There's work to be done.

Yeah.

Hold your feet to the fire.

I think people are afraid of offending.

They're afraid of using the wrong terminology, but that could get in the way of them doing the work.

I tell people, call me Becky, call me by my name.

And then you can get to know what may be of interest or what's preferred, what's not.

Again, I'm going to be one person with a disability you meet.

So the next person may not be exactly like me, but it'll at least give you a level set on how to be kinder.

Yeah, yeah.

And more comfortable.

Yeah.

You know, Doug, it was interesting when you brought up earlier just about how your perspective changed when you had kids.

I was thinking about Peter Dinklage, who set a good example for little people just when it comes to representation in the media.

Because he's actually able to play skilled characters.

Yes, of course, his, his roles, there have been a variety of different roles, whether some may be stereotypical or not, but most people view him as a very talented actor and that's what people want to be known for, their skills.

He and his wife, his wife's average height, have two average height children.

But I was thinking that if things had gone a little differently and they did have a child with dwarfism, would that lead to him being more of an advocate, understanding that he needed to pave a way for that child with dwarfism?

As of now, he's kind of just been on the sidelines.

He does his thing, doesn't really advocate alongside the community.

But that could have changed the trajectory of how he shows up.

Well, you know, and you're a perfect person to speak to this, but I know, I don't know what his mindset was when he commented on the new Cinderella movie and he said something about the dwarves and you know, that put seven actors out of work just because he said something.

Right.

You know, without.

So yeah, I wonder if having.

I mean, he's been very successful and I think a big part of that is he is a world class actor regardless of his size.

And a lot of times I think maybe because the pool is a bit smaller if they're, if the role calls for a little person, not everybody has the acting chops that he does, you know, so you kind of have to get that person and then hope that they can do a good job of the acting.

But, but isn't it a chicken or an egg?

Because the pool is.

Well, that's what you wonder.

Yeah, that's, that's probably a component.

But then, you know, for him, but I'm saying for him personally, he's had such a great experience as a little person in a field where there's not too many at that level.

Especially if he had a child and saw maybe a more typical experience, it might give him pause before he, you know, says something like that and, and not think about the consequences.

Yeah, exactly.

And there was an award show where he mentioned this guy, Martin Henderson, and Martin Henderson was in a bar in the UK and got tossed across a room.

So there is a real thing called bar top.

Yeah, yeah.

Tossing where they, people pay to go to a bar and they watch little people get thrown across the room.

The little people who agree to do it, like we get paid well, it's like, but you're also going to risk a brain injury.

It does not make it right.

And movies like the Wolf of Wall street, the opening scene is a dwarf tossing scene.

So then that motivated bars around the country in the world to host these types of events, which are not okay.

But after Martin Henderson was severely injured, Peter Dinklage mentioned something about him in one of his speeches.

And then the press was all over it.

They're like, tell us more, tell us more.

And his response was, I did my due diligence by mentioning his name.

Google his name, you can find out what happened.

But if he had taken on some more of those interviews, it could have led to some more advocacy and awareness.

But you can't force it on someone.

They have to want to do it.

And he did bring awareness to the topic just by saying his name.

But I think it just depends.

And I think that's kind of how I live my life of knowing that since it does impact a community of people, it makes sense to go forward and speak up.

And I try to be very intentional with my advocacy.

Not political or religious, but I want to figure out how to be as authentic as possible, anger aside, and just connect with people, but raise the concerns that need to be raised.

Like if I can't get a step stool at a hotel, I'm going to tell them that I need a step stool and they should stop making excuses.

Or if I'm not getting the care I need in a hospital facility, I'm going to speak up because I know that there are others who come after me who aren't going to be able to speak up and it's going to impact their experience and the overall.

I was at the doctor a week or two ago and as I came out, he wanted me to make an appointment for a follow up.

Well, as I came up to the waiting room from the back, there's a lower counter, you know, ADA compliant counter.

So I roll up to that and I said, oh, I'd like to make an appointment for a follow up with the doctor.

She's okay, just come out here, come around here.

And I said, no, I prefer to use the ADA compliant counter if you don't mind.

That's what it's here for.

I got kind of the, you know, the side I, you know, you know, stink eye a little bit.

So, yeah, you know, you just have to chip away at it, you know, but that's, that's where Addie and I have found ourselves now, now, now we're joiners and that's our mantra on this show.

Find your community.

Join your community, you know?

Right.

You'll.

You'll find people that just get you so much more, even if it's not romantic, you know?

You know, but the people that will get you, support you, cheer you on.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, and I mean, I think not having community as well, like, I don't want to call myself ignorant, but I will, like, in a way, because, like, being young, doing the March of Dimes, doing all that stuff, then kind of not purposely hiding away, but just wanting to be me and not necessarily acknowledge and, like, have all these extra accommodations from whatever range.

Well, I missed all these cool stories that in the last two years, joining you and really, truly, like, advocating for myself and getting to do all these different things.

The amount of friendships we have forged over having these guests.

Like, I missed community in a way I didn't know I missed it until I became part of it.

And then I was like, whoa, this is.

This is good stuff.

This is really amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I happen to see a post today where this gal says, you know, as a person with high anxiety getting into a relationship with somebody disabled, in the picture, the camera kind of turns aside.

There's her boyfriend, husband, whatever, in a wheelchair, you know, might not have been a good choice, you know, because when you're in a wheelchair or, you know, yourself, Becky, you know, your people notice, you know, you have anxiety.

It's like, I don't want any attention on me, so I don't want them looking me.

I want to be.

But.

Yeah, but the punchline should have been, they're not looking at you like that.

Well, I know, but her anxiety doesn't care.

I know.

As a fellow anxious person, my anxiety can be worried about everything.

Yeah.

Wait, so they were publicly sharing this information?

Now I'm, like, feeling for the wheelchair user.

Right, Exactly.

I'm sure they.

He was in on the joke, but.

That's funny.

So what do you think would be one thing we're gonna.

I'm gonna turn it to a little bit of fun and, like, weird, since we're at the end, but what's one thing you think that people would be surprised to learn about you?

I'm a terrible singer, so you'll see me with the microphone for speaking, but there's no singing that can happen, right?

Yeah.

I. I have no fear.

I'll.

I'll sing all day long, but I might scare people with my.

Right.

We're not going to karaoke.

Yeah, we're not gonna go Find karaoke.

People will thank us.

If you could have dinner with any disability advocate, living or deceased, who would.

It be and why would.

Why?

Whoa.

There's actually a guy who I just recently learned about.

I've been involved in this organization, Achilles International.

So part of my mental recovery has been physical recovery, and I'm actually doing a four mile race in a few days.

Amazing.

Yeah.

His name's Cedric King and he does public speaking.

He was in Afghanistan and lost both of his legs.

Went into a coma for eight days and his legs were not there after he woke up.

And he just has a fascinating story and I think it would be really cool to sit down with him.

I thought I'd maybe see him this weekend, but he's not going to be able to be there, so we haven't made that direct connection yet.

So I think that would be really cool.

And in just the tie in of people may acquire a disability, but it doesn't mean they still can't participate in those types of activities.

As a marathon runner, I do not plan to run.

I will continue to do distance walking, but it's just the mentality of keeping moving even after such a tragic event.

Yeah.

Any final thoughts?

Any.

Like what?

Any aspirations for the future that you have?

Well, I do plan to get my story out there further with the book.

Call me Becky.

And I have thought about maybe doing some podcast work, whatever that may look like, and really just helping elevate other stories too.

I love supporting others who may be doubting themselves and want to achieve what maybe they originally thought was impossible.

For a long time, I've just used the motto anything's anything is possible because I truly believe it is.

You just have to set your mind, heart and strength to it.

Yeah, for sure.

Well, good.

We support you, you know, and this will be like a tease for the next visit from Becky when the book comes out.

Yes, you'll have to come back and.

Tell us all about it.

It or just enough so people want to buy it.

Yeah, don't tell us the whole thing.

I think you got a little preview today with part of the parts of the story.

It's really just about finding strength and sharing the vulnerability.

As you said, some people don't like to talk about death or challenges, but I think it's important in order to move forward to be able to talk about those things.

Well, we appreciate you coming on and opening up and sharing all parts of your lives, the.

The easy parts and the others that are a little tougher.

So thank you and thank you for Letting me talk about Jackson.

Absolutely.

Each week on Walk and Roll Live, we share honest and open stories of.

People living with a disability.

I was into aggressive rollerblading.

I was skating half pipes, jumping stairs, grinding rails.

And like, there's one moment where we're skating to, like a fast food restaurant and I was visually following my friends.

I didn't have enough, like, distance or preview.

There's a change in texture.

I'm an asphalt.

And then horns are honking their horns.

I had crossed the street on a wreck.

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You're listening to Walk and Roll Disability.

Obviously, I love telling the story, and I'm so.

I'm always grateful when the universe crisscrosses things.

But you, a lot of times are the one that have known people and found people through your board work or just different events.

You do.

So this one feels, like, exciting to.

To meet somebody new and then to know that I get to meet her this next week.

So it's pretty cool to tell her story this week and then know that I'll see her next week.

It's awesome.

Obviously, she's done a lot of things in the world that whether or not we know it or don't seem like a direct correlation, have some correlation for the lives like myself and you and all others in the community are getting to live.

Yeah, definitely obvious from talking with her, you know, very accomplished and has had a lot of experiences in this space and articulates it very well, all those things.

So that was awesome having her on.

Thank you, Becky.

Thank you, thank you.

Next week we've got Jeff Quevedo, friend of a friend that I just met recently, you know, at a birthday party and got to talking with him and he was, you know, very open.

And after a while, I'm thinking, this is good stuff.

Let's have you on the show.

So, yeah, next week he'll talk about his experiences in Afghanistan and everything that he's up to now.

All right.

Still working on the.

The old website, adding stuff all the time.

So if you're looking for resources, there are some new ones on there, you know, and every time you hear a guest talk about whatever they're doing and they have a website, you know, it's.

If it isn't up there already, I'm putting it up there at some point.

So, yeah, and I try to.

Doug has a post it.

A very, very big post that's Right.

Doug is very good at this.

When I.

When I'm at my day job, this is his love, his passion.

And people don't realize how much time and attention.

Attention goes into what he does.

So shout out to Doug because a lot.

Anything you see on the web, I did not do that.

I just sit here and talk.

I show up for an hour and a half.

Everything else is all Doug.

And I'm perfectly happy with that, you know, because I know you have a.

You have a life, first of all, you have.

Yes, but, you know, you have a job.

I'm revealing the man behind the curtain.

Yeah.

He is the great wizard of Oz.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thing.

I was going to say something about something coming up that I can't remember.

So we'll talk about it next week.

If it comes up.

Let's do it.

All right.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening.

We appreciate you very much.

I'm your host, Doug Vincent, along with Addie Ritz from the Agar Professional Training Studio.

This has been Walk and Roll Live Disability Stories, Life Limit Limitless.