Shownotes
There is a quiet performance happening in both corporate leadership and the spiritual world. In one, leaders are asked to put their true personalities aside to be taken seriously. In the other, leaders craft personas, costumes, and aesthetics to look the part of someone enlightened. Both lose something essential in the process. On Soul Mirror, Sayan sits with Crystal Bell, leadership strategist, software executive, and co-owner of a yoga and wellness studio, for an honest, grounded conversation about what authenticity actually looks like when you walk between two worlds.
Crystal shares what corporate leaders can learn from the spiritual community, what spiritual leaders can learn from corporate strategy, the energetic tell of inauthenticity, and three deceptively simple practices anyone can use to come back to themselves. If you have ever felt that something was off in a room but could not name it, this conversation gives you the language and the next step.
About the Guest:
Crystal Bell is a leadership strategist, software executive, and the founder of Clarity with Crystal. She helps burned-out high performers and women entrepreneurs cut through the noise, make better decisions, and move forward with clarity. As co-owner of a yoga and wellness studio, her work weaves together executive leadership, business ownership, and the deeper inner work that real leading asks of us, giving her a uniquely grounded perspective at the intersection of strategy and spirituality.
Key Takeaways:
- Corporate leaders are taught to wear masks to be taken seriously. Spiritual leaders are taught to craft personas to look enlightened. Both lose authenticity in opposite directions.
- The wellness space can learn business fundamentals from corporate. The corporate world can learn to be human-to-human from the wellness space. Real leadership lives in the bridge.
- Inauthenticity has an energetic signature. You will not always be able to name what is off, but you will feel it the moment you walk into the room.
- Anyone who has to keep telling you they are safe, authentic, or trustworthy is usually still trying to convince themselves. Real integrity does not need a press release.
- What other people say about you is none of your business. About one in nine people you meet will not click with you, and that is okay. Move on.
- Pay attention to how you use your mirror. Are you using it to discard yourself or to feel good in your body? The quality of the looking shapes the quality of the showing up.
- Find what lights you up and be unapologetically nerdy about it. Authenticity in small talk is just choosing the things that actually move you instead of the weather.
Connect With the Guest:
- YouTube: Clarity with Crystal
- Website (launching soon): claritywithcrystal.com
- LinkedIn: Search Crystal Bell — Clarity with Crystal
- Instagram: @clarity.with.crystal
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] Welcome to Soul Mirror — the quiet performance in both corporate and spiritual spaces
[03:00] What corporate leaders can learn from the wellness world, and vice versa
[07:00] The biggest misconception about authenticity in the spiritual space
[11:30] The persona, the costume, and what gets lost when leaders perform spirituality
[15:30] What inauthenticity actually feels like in a room
[19:00] The one in nine principle and why not everyone is meant to like you
[22:30] The mirror practice — using it to feel good instead of discard yourself
[25:30] Being nerdy about what you love as a doorway to authentic connection
[28:00] A closing word — authenticity is the quieter choice to keep being yourself
(timestamps approx.)
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Transcripts
00:00:08 Sayan: Welcome to the soul mirror. I'm your host, Ryan. As some of you would know. And tonight I'm sitting with Crystal Bell. She is a leadership strategist and executive and the founder of clarity with Crystal, where she works with burned out high performers and women entrepreneurs who need to cut through the noise and move forward with clarity. Her background spans executive leadership and business ownership, including owning a yoga studio, which gives her a foot in two worlds, the strategy and the wellness world. So tonight, I invite you all to join me on this, uh, conversation where we will be talking about something that she sees up close and what it actually means to show up authentically in the spiritual and personal growth space. So, uh, Crystal, it's a pleasure to have you here with me, and I'm really hoping to dig deeper into this leadership conversation.
00:01:02 Crystal Bell: Thank you. And thank you for having me.
00:01:43 Crystal Bell: Glad to talk with your listeners and with you about this topic. Um, I think just to start with somebody who is a corporate executive already, a young female corporate executive, I already struggle kind of watching how people show up in leadership spaces and, and feeling like they have to kind of wear masks or put their true personalities aside in order to, to show up and be in charge. Right. And I think the opposite is also true in the spiritual community. Right? So having also being a leader of a yoga studio, studying yoga philosophy, I see a lot of spiritual leaders, um, who I think almost create a persona. It's like the opposite of what we might do in corporate of, um, finding clothes that define them as more spiritual and, um, creating sort of online personas that become a little bit less accessible because I think they want to show maybe how much spirituality they have versus the, the rest of us, um, in order to be considered a leader. And so I see this dichotomy of in, in, in both places where I think being authentic and true to yourself is so critical that we as a society have sort of taken that out. And I'd really like to talk about how we can reintegrate our own personalities into leadership, whether it be from a spiritual perspective, um, being maybe a little bit more grounded in who we are or from the corporate perspective in the same way, be showing up more authentically, um, being more human at work.
00:03:34 Sayan: No, I think that's spot on because I wanted to start with a misconception and you already did. So, uh, before we actually dive any deeper, uh, a disclaimer for all the listeners today. So some statements may reflect personal belief and experiences and are presented as individual views and not medical advice. Listeners should please consult qualified professionals for medical conditions. Now, with that being said, I'll honest, uh, I'll be honest with you, Crystal. Uh, I'm coming to this conversation more from the strategy and business side, you know, than the spiritual side. So, uh, I'm, I'm genuinely curious. So when you start moving between these two worlds, uh, um, you know what surprised you the most about each, you know, and what what do you think they could. I mean, each learn from the other. You know, what's there to take from the other.
00:04:21 Crystal Bell: Yeah. So from the corporate side, looking into the spiritual community, right. I think that one thing the corporate corporate leaders could really take away from more wellness centric practices, more wellness centric leaders and organizations is the ability to be closer to themselves. Um, and, and seek sort of more internal guidance, right? I think that being closer to humanity is something that the spiritual leaders, um, spiritual workers are a lot more attuned to and in the corporate structure and corporate strategy perspective, we are often thinking about sort of everything else but ourselves, right? We're thinking about shareholders, about, uh, investors. We're thinking about ROI and profit margins and gross margin and product and bookings. And, um, you know, all of these things that are so driven, um, by, by metrics that we have begun to take humanity out of business. But at the end of the day, and this is what I think wellness leaders don't really well is that business is done human to human right, not machine to machine, at least not yet and hopefully never. Um, so I think that that's one thing that corporate leaders could, could take away. On the other side, um, from a, from the spiritual community, what I see is so much focus on who the leader is, um, like how they are portraying themselves, why they are, you know, the, the best leader or the most trustworthy leader or whatever that might be. And I think that, um, that is something that we, we do from a marketing perspective, but that that's not really grounded in the true principles of like being a wellness practice, being a spiritual leader, right? Where we have to ground down and understand the business side of things a little bit more, right? Not just marketing ourselves as a figurehead and expecting people to come to us because we are the best, but really talking and understanding what metrics are guiding our businesses. And that is something I think a lot of small businesses, especially spiritual wellness focused businesses, don't get. Right. Um, because they are really thinking about their, the product, which often is themselves versus the consumers.
00:06:47 Sayan: Well, that's, I think that clears up this very big misconception because I think, uh, a lot of people on the both sides of this conversation basically carry one. Um, you know, I mean, from the outside, the spiritual or the wellness space can look like one big, you know, kind of room where everyone's authentic. But I mean, you have worked inside of it. So, uh, you know, could you walk us through, uh, what's perhaps the biggest misconception that people have about how authentic this space actually is? And what is the reality that you have seen? Um, and, and, uh, you know, when someone, especially a thoughtful and sincere person walks into that space and starts to feel something is off, uh, you know, what's actually happening.
00:07:35 Speaker 4: So I see in that in the wellness.
00:07:37 Crystal Bell: Space, um, a very common theme is that leaders, uh, maybe it's leaders, yoga teachers, um, they create a look for themselves, right? It's almost like a CEO that gets like a look and they wear the same outfits kind of all the time. Very similar in the wellness space where, you know, they're not wearing these like cloaks and, you know, flowy dresses and crowns on a regular day to day basis. Often if they're going to the grocery store, right, if they're driving in their car, if they're picking up their kids. Um, but I see this sort of like persona that gets put on in many people when they come and are presenting themselves as, as a leader. And I, I think that that this is again, Crystal's opinion only, um, but it takes away from the experience from, for me personally, because I believe fully that we have to adjust all of our practices to be in the modern world. Right? And that if we are putting on these masks, um, in order to pretend that we are like to, to not, not pretend, but get the credit that we are spiritual leaders, that we're leaders in the wellness community. Um, that, that is actually doing the opposite thing of what I would hope that we would have learned, which is that the most important part of leading in a spiritual community, in a wellness practice at a yoga studio, is being grounded in who you are and not being so heavily invested into whatever marketing scheme might be popular at the time. Right. So. Right. I mean, and like very specifically, I think it takes away if you are not authentic to who you are, it gives I feel less credibility of that person. Right? I feel like their work is more egocentric than it would be authentically grounded and driven by the philosophies and practices. Um, and I am not a perfect teacher. I am not a perfect entrepreneur. I am not a perfect leader. Nobody is. Right. Um, but I show up to my classes and I'll, I'll mix modern music and an ancient chants. I think that it's important to have a balance. And um, if we make spirituality and the wellness space so untouchable by our consumers that they feel like they are not part of it, or that they could never achieve this like sense of peace and, and gratitude and like great meditation because they don't have the right clothes or the right books or the right music, or they don't really understand the chanting. We're not doing them any service. We're not teaching them. We're not bringing them forward. And so I try to find a way to balance the modern world, um, you know, and show up in sweatshirts and show up in jeans and, um, and try to show that we don't have to have a specific look and feel. Um, and I do the same in my, in my executive presence. Like I came directly from work. I'm wearing a sweatshirt, right? My hair is up. I don't have a suit on. Um, and I think that the workforce is shifting now, especially as more, um, late Gen X millennials and Gen Zs are in the workforce. They're demanding this more authentic leadership across the board, right? Whether that be in the corporate space or it be in the wellness space or anywhere in between, we want to see that we're humans, that we have a purpose for what we're doing, and that we are being treated like humans rather than being treated like machines.
00:11:21 Speaker 3: MM.
00:11:21 Sayan: That's I mean, that's important because I think, uh, it's not really about spirituality all the time. It's about being human in, in any environment, right. That has, uh, a dominant tone like you, uh, already mentioned. And that's, I think that's really, uh, I'm glad that you brought that up. So, uh, Crystal, if you have to get very specific, uh, you know, for someone who's listening to this tonight because we are talking a lot about authenticity. So maybe, uh, could you walk us through what does, uh, in authenticity looks like in real moments? You know, what are the small tells that someone, including yourself, has, uh, not been in the zone for quite some time.
00:11:58 Crystal Bell: For me, the specific thing I'm thinking about, I have this moment where I went to a workshop with somebody who was they were actually doing a workshop at my studio. I hadn't met them yet. They were a friend of my partner, and I walked into the room and just immediately felt like something was off. Right? So if it if it felt like a Hollywood production, it didn't feel real. And I can't say that like I looked and said, oh, like that particular sound bowl or that particular outfit that they wore was the thing that tipped me off. It was truly the energetic feeling that I got when I walked into the room. And that was a lack of safety. And so I think that that is one thing our intuition is going to and like the energy that we all put out, we feel that. And so that's one thing is notice the energy of people around you. If you're noticing that you are feeling maybe less than a person, if you're noticing that something feels a little bit too like put on as like a show, a production. Um, that is a really interesting indicator of inauthenticity. I also think, and this is another example of someone that I've met in this space, um, anybody that tells you over and over that they're a safe person, that they are authentic, that they can be trusted, that they are, you know, a mixture of the divine masculine and divine feminine, that they have figured it all out. Any of those times, if they're having to tell you it over and over, it's probably because that's what they are trying to learn themselves. But it's probably not true, right? Like we don't need to tell someone that we have integrity. We don't need to tell someone that we are authentic people. No. Absolutely correct.
00:13:47 Sayan: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, uh, that's an important message and important, uh, you know, framing, I would say, because, uh, that's really helpful to diagnose, uh, what might be going on at times because I think it really gives people something concrete to look for instead of relying on, you know, a single instance or a feeling. And I think it works in any field crystal really, you know, in corporates in, uh, you know, um, I could think of in, uh, uh, any kind of, uh, uh, communities or, you know, uh, I mean, wherever people are involved, right? The same patterns that you're describing in, in wellness, I think I've seen out it playing deck in, in, in, uh, finance corporates in general, in leadership. Uh, but I think, uh, the fact that you mentioned that, uh, in authenticity has the same shape, uh, you know, I mean, nonetheless, wherever you go, I think that is, that is really important. Uh, so before we kind of wrap this off, I just want to ask you this one last question. Uh, for the listeners who are listening to this today who are still, uh, who are still stuck with us, uh, till this time. So, uh, what do you really, you know, want to tell them about how to approach authenticity in a way that feels very grounded and real. Because I think the other thing, the other aspect of approaching authenticity is the shame or the guilt that, you know, creeps up because of just simply how the person in front of us is reacting to, you know, um, you know, what we are trying to, or I mean, our aura or the patterns that we are working with ourselves. So what would you really want to also talk about that from that aspect as well?
00:15:27 Crystal Bell: Thank you for asking. Um, I'm going to say three very specific but also different things. So one is don't worry about what other people are saying about you. It is none of your business. Um, I heard Reese Witherspoon say this years ago and it, it, it really blew my mind. And as I get older, I understand it more and more. Right. If people are going to gossip about you, if they are going to not like you, if they are going to, you know, say whatever they're saying, it's none of your business. And don't take that on. Don't take that stress on because it's not going to be worth your time and energy. Um, you will never please everybody. And there are, there's a statistic that says one in every nine people on earth, um, you will not get along with no matter what. Like it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with them. It is just the energy that doesn't quite work. Um, so when, now that I have sort of let go of the idea that everyone should like me, and I've learned this like one in every nine situation, when I do encounter the people that we just don't quite mesh, no matter how much I try, how much they try doesn't work. One in every nine. It's okay. Move on with your life. So that's one. Number two is pay attention when you're getting ready to how much you are using your mirror to discard yourself versus how much you're using your mirror to feel good.
00:17:01 Sayan: Oh that's interesting.
00:17:03 Crystal Bell: Yeah. And I think like I learned this lesson over a long period of time through my yoga practice and also from my dog breaking my full length mirror. Um, but I used to get dressed and spend a lot of time looking in the mirror seeing like, do I look the part? Do I, um, you know, does this outfit look good on me? Is it the right thing? And do I have the right shoes? Like all this energy and time suck? But I never asked myself how I felt in it. So for four years, I stopped looking in the mirror when I was getting dressed and just wondered how I felt in the clothes. And it is amazing how you will show up in the world if you feel good in what you're wearing, regardless of what it looks like. So pay attention to what you're putting on your body. And when you're looking in the mirror, are you spending cycles being negative to yourself or spending cycles having positive, positive feelings? Uh, because the more that you put out into that mirror, the more it's going to come back to you. Uh, so if you're spending, if you're using your mirror in a way that is violent or not supportive, maybe go a month and just cover it up and see what happens. Um, and the third thing is find something that you love and be nerdy about it. Um, because when I'm talking to somebody, if I'm meeting someone for the first time, it is much more authentic to find common ground or to, to talk about plants, gardening. I have a plant. I can't really say, um, I love plants, I love dogs. Um, I get really geeked out about dinosaurs, right? I love yogic philosophy. There's some things that really light me up that I can talk about a lot. And they might not be everyone's jam. Um, but I'd rather talk about my love for my dogs than the weather over and over again. Right? So if you can find things that light you up that you can bring to the table and give somebody a different perspective. They're going to remember you and you will be being true to yourself. And so I feel like those are three ways to really show up authentically wherever you are.
00:19:05 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:19:05 Sayan: And you know, I, I totally relate to all of the three things that you said and to bring my perspectives forth. You know, I have always been, I mean, I've never really been the person to talk about whether I, I hate small talks, but you know, that is the culture in, in corporate, right? Um, so I mean, uh, yeah, definitely. Uh, you know, at times, um, I would say that maybe the time is not right or that, you know, it just, you've got to respect the other person's time maybe or what he's going through or what he's feeling, uh, you know, in that mental space, emotional space. But, uh, nonetheless, that doesn't mean or should not mean that you should sacrifice your core values, you know, uh, in any kind of environment. Right. Um, so if I don't like small talk, I'm, I'm, I'm not going to interact with them. You know, I'm going to interact when the time is right. Perhaps so. It's about having that mutual understanding and perhaps avoiding people that you shouldn't be hanging out with. Right. So that is something that I would like to, uh, put forth crystal. But I think that that has been really, uh, practical and relatable for me, I'm sure eye opening for the listeners who, uh, have stuck with us till this point. So Crystal, before we close this, I want to ask, uh, you know, for the listeners who would like to follow your work and learn more about clarity with Crystal or work with you directly, you know, where's the best place for them to find you at? And, uh, I'll include that in the links in the show notes below.
00:20:28 Crystal Bell: Yeah. Thank you. Uh, so you can find me on YouTube, clarity dash with dash Crystal. I'm launching a website with the same clarity dash with dash crystal dot com that should be out in a month or two. And I'm also on LinkedIn. You can Google Crystal Bell or clarity with Crystal on LinkedIn and Instagram. So any of those places.
00:20:51 Sayan: Brilliant. So I'll include all those three details in the show notes so that people could easily reach out to you. So folks, with that, uh, we come to the minute mark of this conversation, but if there's something that I would want you to take from this conversation tonight, it would be that I think authenticity, uh, people do mistake it as a brand. Like that's how you want people to perceive you. But, uh, you know, it's not a brand or a tone. I think it's, it's, it's the quieter choice to keep being yourself, especially in, in situations or rooms where everyone else is becoming a version of something, you know, because of circumstances or whatever that could be. So I think that choice, which is made over and over again, uh, it just solidifies your boundary. And that is what leads to real authenticity. So with that, folks, uh, we hit, uh, today's minute mark. And I just want to thank you all for joining us today on this conversation. So, uh, Crystal, thanks for joining with us today. And, for for the kind of honesty that you have brought to this conversation. So to everyone listening, folks, uh, wherever you spend your time, just ask yourself one question this week. Where am I performing? Where am I being performative instead of just being, uh, and that's all. That's how change usually starts. Well, this has been on the soul mirror. And just take yourself off this week. Uh, and remember that, uh, you know, the version of you that's worth showing up with, uh, is really not the polished one. It's the real one. So with that, I'll see you in the next one.
