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As I was thinking about this topic, it reminded me of this.
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Pivotal moment during
an improv class in:
2019
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This person probably doesn't even
realize that this conversation that
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we had, it was my improv teacher in
Myrtle beach and we were learning, I
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think how to do characters on stage.
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Honestly, it doesn't even
matter what we were learning.
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But he had been obviously watching us in
class week after week and you're on stage.
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If you're not familiar with improv,
it's in the moment off the cuff.
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On the fly comedy.
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It's like the show whose line is it
anyway, that's short form improv.
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You don't have a script.
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You hop on stage and maybe
you get a suggestion.
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Sometimes you don't even, you
just open your mouth and see
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whatever the hell happens, right?
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It's very freeing and I highly recommend
everyone taking an improv class.
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it is therapy in motion.
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What I've noticed over the years of
being involved with improv is that my
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personal habits will play out on stage,
whether it's through a character or
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how I present myself on stage, which
leads me to this people pleasing moment.
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Which will live with me forever.
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It was one of those moments that slammed
me into reality a holy crap moment.
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So going back to that class day, I
don't know what we were doing on stage.
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It doesn't matter.
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All I know is we were applying these
skills, so my teacher was giving us
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advice hey, why don't you try this?
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It was great.
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So we had class, and then at the end
of class, we're all packing up, and
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we all become friendly, so I was chit
chatting with people, and then my
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teacher called me over, and was like,
hey, can I talk to you for a second?
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And I can't remember exactly, obviously,
word for word, what he said, but along
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the lines of, And I remember afterwards
it made me cry as I reflected about it.
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I remember getting in my car and crying.
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It's going to make me cry now.
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He told me, you are allowed
to take up space, Jenny.
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And I looked at him, confused.
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What are you talking about?
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He said, you're allowed to take up space.
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He said, I watch you.
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I see you looking at everyone else
and you are calculating to make sure
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everyone has equal representation.
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Everyone gets some time in the spotlight.
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And within that, I was
holding myself back.
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He saw it.
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I wasn't stepping forward.
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I wasn't initiating scenes because
I wanted to be fair, and I wanted to
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take care of everyone else, and I put
everyone else's needs before my own.
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And therefore I wasn't initiating,
which in an improvising world
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means I wasn't starting scenes.
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I wasn't Following my intuition, I was
literally holding myself back physically,
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and mentally, and spiritually on stage.
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And all I was doing was
scanning and making sure
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everyone else was taken care of.
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And he said something along the lines
of, You're being the mother hen on stage.
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oh my gosh, I had this flashback.
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That's what my friends
in college called me.
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Oh, Jenny is the mother hen.
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When we would go out, I would always
be taking care of everyone for the most
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part, making sure everyone was okay.
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And I was the mother hen, the
quintessential people pleaser mother hen.
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And for him to see that on stage,
playing out through my own character
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Through my body language, by literally
observing me not following my feet, not
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following my intuition, blew my mind.
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And to have someone who's not
close to me say to me, you
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are allowed to take up space.
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And basically his task for me for the
next class was you are going to initiate.
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You are going to take space.
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I don't want you worrying
about anyone else.
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I want you to worry about yourself.
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I, that was such a mirror moment
for me to feel so seen by someone
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and to be given permission and being
told that it's okay to focus on
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yourself, Jenny, to trust yourself
and to not worry about other people.
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Holy crap.
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That was so powerful.
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So powerful.
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And this man doesn't even
remember this conversation.
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I guarantee it.
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Because it was not a big deal.
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It was like a sidebar conversation
that took maybe 60 seconds, right?
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You never know how someone is
going to be changed by your words.
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If you are called To say something
from the heart like this, say it with
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love because look at this moment.
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I'm talking about it and
it's six years later.
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That moment shifted something within me.
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I will also say I was
open to receiving it.
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That's also important.
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I was already on my healing
journey at that point.
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I was already doing the work, I was
meditating and all that great stuff.
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I was already open to receiving
feedback from anyone and anything.
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I already had a growth mindset.
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So it's twofold.
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If you want to receive from others, you
have to be willing to receive from others
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and also look at things a blessing.
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I could have looked at it from
the ego and been Defensive and
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who does he think he is or denial?
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I could have not been open to what he
had to say and think I knew best, but
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this felt like he was a messenger from
my spirit team or from God spirit
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was speaking through him to me.
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I needed to hear that
in that place in time.
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And the fact that he
used the term mother hen.
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Got my attention even more so because
that was a label placed on me, which is
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just another word for people pleaser.
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It was a game changer for me.
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So thank you, Kevin, my improv teacher,
for a comment that I'll never forget.
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That changed who I am.
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I'm sure everyone has moments like that.
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You might have even had them
and didn't think about them.
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And then they might arise in your
mind whenever you actually needed it.
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Be open and curious.
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And know that everyone is a mirror.
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And the only way that this shift will
really start sticking is if you're open
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to receiving that reflection from people
that And if you're willing to grow and
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change, even if you don't fully know who
you are right now, knowing that you're
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on that journey to finding who you are
underneath all the people pleasing,
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underneath all the molding yourself
to make other people feel comfortable,
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underneath all of that protective layer is
your true essence, and people can see it.
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Listen to them when they tell you.
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Be open to receiving it and
then see how things shift.
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Thank you, Kevin, my improv teacher
for this beautiful mirror moment.
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You gave me all those years ago.
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I'll always be
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grateful.
