Episode Summary

In this episode of 'A Whole Lot of Shift', host Jen Ingram discusses the importance of recognizing who you are and who you are not in building a business. She criticizes the use of personality tests and theories like Myers Briggs, Enneagram, and Human Design in determining how to run businesses or live life. Instead, she advocates for individuals to stop living by someone else's standards and to live life on their terms, and in line with their true selves.

Jen shares an anecdote about her guest appearance on another podcast where this topic came up, as well as her experience with a coach deeply into human design. She believes that recognizing individuality and authenticity are key in successful business growth, and dismisses the notion of one's life fitting into theoretical boxes.

00:00 Introduction: You Are the Design

01:47 The Journey of Self-Discovery

02:58 The Power of Personal Development

03:33 The Importance of Authenticity in Business

10:03 The Pitfalls of Personality Tests

18:07 The Power of Being Your Own Design

25:27 The Dangers of Living a Filtered Life

36:19 Conclusion: Embrace Your Uniqueness

About the Host:

Jen is a Confidence Catalyst and Business Mentor saving hustling female solopreneurs from the chains of corporate America. Her passion lies in helping women through their self awakening so they can finally break free, turn their side hustle into the business of their dreams, and live a life full of time, location and financial freedom.

Jen is a California girl at heart, now living out her dream in the Midwest, traveling, coaching female solopreneurs and sharing her own story of triumph and empowerment across speaking platforms. When she's not traveling, she enjoys spending time with her college aged son and her rescued Pit Bull.

After 20 years of various project manager and corporate trainer roles while juggling a wide array of side gigs, she has mastered the ability to help women see what they cannot see, believe they are meant for more and take aligned action to make it happen. With an MBA in Change Management, and a Health and Life Coach Certification from the Health Coach Institute, Jen is an expert at creating both the business process changes and the personal habit changes needed to finally Break UP with corporate and go all-in on your side hustle or long standing passion project.

Connect with Jen on Facebook or Instagram!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenelleingram/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wholelottashift/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejenelleingram

Free Gift: https://mailchi.mp/4f4ae02ebe45/beat-the-odds

Show Up to Level Up 1:1 Program: https://jeningramcoaching.thrivecart.com/show-up-to-level-up/

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I don't need and you don't need somebody's theory, an Enneagram,

a human design, anything like that to tell you how to build your side

hustle into a full time business.

You are the design.

You are the design.

You are whole as you are.

You get to determine.

where you want that to go.

You get to determine what it is that lights your soul on fire so that you can

figure out how you want this to look.

You get to decide, here's how I want to build my business so that I can be

living the life that I want to live.

You don't need someone else's Theory or another box to be put into.

You already did that.

You already lived according to someone else's dream, like the American

dream, or you already lived according to somebody else's theory of what

a happy life should look like.

Welcome to a whole lot of shift podcast, the podcast for multi passionate women

with an entrepreneurial spirit, where we provide inspiration, motivation, and

education to help you shift away from all the shoulds and supposed to's to what's

truly possible for you in your business and your life, all on your own terms.

You ready, girl, let's make shift happen.

Welcome to another episode of a whole lot of shift.

I'm your host, Jen Ingram, and I'm so excited that you're here joining us today.

Today I'm wanting to talk about.

Who you are and who you are not.

I I have a funny story to share.

And so I want to share this story with you guys because I had something happen

earlier this week and it really, really.

Made me a, it reminded me of a story from my own journey from a

couple of years ago, something that happened a couple of years ago.

And it made me realize that I haven't necessarily talked a lot

about this on the podcast, but I think it is so super important.

And so I.

I just felt like y'all needed to hear this.

You know, one of the things that, that I talk to my clients a lot about is

really identifying like who you are, who you're not understanding what

your energy is, how you're showing up, what you want your clients to

understand about you or your customers.

And, you know, , is it necessary?

You know, , what should you be sharing?

What, parts of you do you get to keep for you?

What parts can you share?

Do you feel comfortable?

Like, I just, we go through a little bit of a journey, right?

Because if there's one thing we've learned, it's that when you are building

your own business and you have your own business, so much of that growth

in your business is really about.

The personal development growth.

It's the really about who you are becoming.

That's helping your business become all that it can be.

So that said, I had a funny story.

This last week I was a guest on a podcast

and I was kind of excited , to be on it because I felt like some of what

she teaches really resonated with me.

You know, what, one of the amazing things that she talks about and she

teaches in her group and on her podcast is how to be a podcast guest and how

to get guest spots on podcasts and, and, you know, and some of the ways

to represent yourself when you're trying to get on someone else's stage.

And I think that's so important.

That's something that, again, that I also talk about in my program with my clients

is how do you, how do you start promoting yourself as a leader of what you do?

Right.

And so that often means getting on other people's stages whenever

you can, that really helps.

It helps broaden your audience.

It helps grow your audience.

It helps establish you as a leader in your in your niche, in your business.

And so, and.

And as I've probably mentioned like a million times, you guys may have already

heard me say this so many times in the past, but like getting on somebody's

podcast, it's so much freaking fun.

Like if I would have realized however many years ago.

How much fun it was going to be and how easy it was going to be to just like turn

on a microphone and feel like I could just talk and like I was talking to you.

I'm taught, well, and I am talking to you because I can see your comments

and I love streaming this live.

I just, I love the whole experience of it.

It is a ton of fun.

So anyways, I was on this podcast and, and.

One of the things that she does that I, I really enjoy with podcasting is, you know,

she kind of just let the conversation go wherever it led, you know, like we

did talk a little bit about, you know, you know, she, she looked at my bio

and she asked me a couple of questions, but then like wherever the conversation

led us, the conversation led us.

And let me tell you, it led us.

Through a whole series of things, everything from women's rights to personal

development to understanding who you are.

Like, we just, we went, we went everywhere.

Money stories everywhere and everything in between.

It really was a good conversation because we just touched on so many things.

And what I enjoy about those kinds of conversations when I'm on somebody else's

stage is it lets the audience connect with what values I have, because as

we're talking about those things, I get to maybe share the pieces that are, of

those parts that are important to me and or why the other thing that I do and

understand is that it is that the host.

Whoever's hosting that it is their stage.

At the end of the day, it's their stage and they are trying to establish

themselves as a leader in their business and on their podcast and their show.

In their stage.

So one of the things that happened is we were, we were going on this

conversation and she asked me if I, if I did something in my program with

my clients and I was like, not really.

I was like, I kind of have something like that, but no.

And.

And then she started sharing like why she thinks it's important.

And because it was her stage and it was her show, I decided in the moment that

I wasn't going to disagree with her.

I could have, I could have very politely respectfully

said, I can see that viewpoint.

However, here's how I view it from my clients and blah, blah, blah.

But then I thought.

I could again.

That would be something that could really establish me as a leader, right?

To kind of go against the grain.

But I also just felt in that particular moment, like let her let her share that

because she's getting into some details and sharing some questions and some

insight with me that I can tell is.

Important for her, let her it's her stage.

Like it's fine.

And so I did, but then after I got off the podcast, I was like,

I got to talk about this cause no.

So, so that's what this, this show is all about today.

So here's what happened.

I don't remember what we were even talking about, but she started asking me Oh, we

were talking about some of my clients.

And I was mentioning that one of the things that happens is we, we get on this

path in life that is oftentimes steered.

We're steered into a certain direction in life by other people

and other influences in our life.

That could be our family, our friends.

It could be our.

You know, there's the American dream there's, so then, you know, pretty

soon you're living according to your family's standards, society's standards

just all these different ways in which we are influenced in deciding

how we're going to live our life, how we're going to present ourselves And

how we identify who we are, right?

It's all according to basically someone else's standards.

And as part of the journey in in building and growing your business

that I work with my clients on is.

Recognizing, or I shouldn't even say, I will say recognizing, but getting down

really to who are you and who are you not?

Who are you without all those influences?

Who are you when you're not talking about what you do?

Who are you?

And so often we realize at some certain point in life, you're,

you're thinking to yourself.

Who am I?

I don't, I don't even like these things.

I don't even, I don't want your freaking white picket fence actually.

I think that's kind of boring.

Your brown suburbia area housing, it, it's not me, man.

Right?

Like maybe that's not you.

And so there comes a time in your life where you start to question,

like, who am I, what, what do I want?

And I think that this is what happens for so many women is they reach that point

where they say, who am I, what do I want?

And through digging deeper into those questions that story evolves.

And oftentimes this is where they realize.

One of the things that I do all day long is a job that I don't, I don't like.

I've never, I've never wanted this kind of life.

Right.

So one of the things that we were talking about on the show is she was

asking me, do I have any Personality tests or any type of tests that I

provide my clients with to help them learn or understand who they are.

And my answer was no.

And so I want to talk about that a little bit because so often, again,

let's think about the influence of something like a personality test.

Now I have to say she asked, she asked some specific ones.

She asked, I was asked if I had anything like Myers Briggs Enneagram human design

that I worked in, that I incorporated into my program with my clients.

And my answer is no.

And the reason for that is because.

We already lived a life according to someone else's theory.

We already lived a life by someone else's standards.

And for many folks, they are still continuing to live a life that while

they may be recognizing Parts of themselves that do not fit into this

standard, there's still a part of them that continues to follow that path.

That's really been pre paved.

And so, in my mind, by introducing a personality test or another, theory in

figuring out who you are and what some of your traits might be and how you respond.

How you respond in life, how you just respond to certain things.

I think sometimes we also can get wrapped up in all of those.

And we're still not digging into who we are.

It's really just saying here's another theory.

Here's another design.

Do you fit this box?

Oh, your personality test gave you this result.

That means you do these things in this way.

And again, it's just taking you from one box and putting you into another box.

I already lived according to somebody else's Freaking box.

I don't, I don't want put in a box.

Right.

And you don't have to be put into a box either.

That's not what this is about.

This is about learning like who you really are at your core.

And some of this really came to light for me.

A couple of years back, I had gotten into a coffee chat with somebody

who was really into human design.

And.

If you don't know what human design is let me back up a little bit.

Human design is something that has really taken off, particularly

within the coaching space, something that has become incredibly popular.

And I see folks promoting about how.

Learn about your human design.

Learn how you should be running your business according to your human design.

Learn how you should be living your life according to your human design, right?

Literally taking You and saying, Oh, based on, and it's based

on many factors, by the way.

But based on this theory of these factors, you fit here, you fit into

this other place, into this box.

And so now that now you should design or live.

Your business in life according to this area that you seem to

fit into and I'm thinking Isn't that what I just got out of?

Isn't that what I already did?

Isn't isn't that basically what I've already decided I no longer wanted to

do with my life I no longer wanted to do it according to somebody's theory

of what was gonna bring me happiness or what the dream For me was supposed to be,

didn't, didn't I kind of already do that?

I'm not looking to do that again.

And so I was on this coffee chat with this, with this coach.

And she was talking to me, you know, asking me all these

questions about my human design.

And and, and so part of that has to do with like your birth date and

the time in which you were born.

And, and I remember I was like, let me, you know, let me grab my

birth certificate, blah, blah, blah.

And so we, we lined all this out and she's like, honestly, I don't even

remember what she said I was in this.

I don't remember what box she put me in because at first I

remember I was like taking notes, you know, I'm really listening.

And then she's like, Oh, she's like, well, based on what you've shared,

what you're doing with your business, it doesn't match your human design.

I was like, okay, well, I don't understand.

What do you, what does that mean?

What, I don't, what, what, what does this mean?

And one of the things that we had talked about was the way in which I

network in the way that I believe that I will be attracting my ideal clients.

And, and and the way that I intend to build that and how I don't

believe that networking is just showing up to networking meetings

and talking to old white insurance guys, no offense, but like, I.

Don't want to do it.

I've truly taken the stance that networking should be fun and networking

doesn't have to be a networking meeting.

What if I go out and I have a good time and I find activities that I enjoy and

want to do that I have fun experiencing.

So then in that moment, when I'm doing those things, I am.

Being and showing up as my higher vibrational self, my more authentic self.

And what do we think is going to happen?

Well, I'm going to attract the people on that same vibrational wave.

And I've truly believed this from the get go.

Like I, I'm not saying I never go to a networking meeting.

I, on occasion I do, and I've, I've gone to several.

Overall, it's not my jam.

I would rather go out and meet people through different experiences and

different activities that, that I enjoy.

I enjoy, I wanna be meeting my people in the places, doing the

things that, that I wanna do.

I feel like that's where I'm more likely to find who I am looking for.

And so she was like, oh, that doesn't match your human design.

That's not gonna work for you.

And I was like funny thing.

It's exactly what I'm doing.

And she's like, no, that's, that's not really the way that, that

you're, that you're designed.

Hold on just a second, because this is what I believe.

This is what I feel.

This is what I'm and newsflash it's working.

The last several events I've been able to do.

Was because I wanted to do something fun and I had networked and I then

had an opportunity to hold an event.

The last few the couple of clients.

That I, that I had, like how it all started was I was like, Oh, you know what?

This sounds, this sounds kind of fun.

Let me go do that.

This all started from me going and doing and experiencing the

things that I wanted to do.

I was like, funny, you say I can't do it.

It's not going to work.

I'm doing it and it's fucking working.

I don't need and you don't need somebody's theory, an Enneagram,

a human design, anything like that to tell you how to build your side

hustle into a full time business.

You are the design.

You are the design.

You are whole as you are.

You get to determine.

where you want that to go.

You get to determine what it is that lights your soul on fire so that you can

figure out how you want this to look.

You get to decide, here's how I want to build my business so that I can be

living the life that I want to live.

You don't need someone else's Theory or another box to be put into.

You already did that.

You already lived according to someone else's dream, like the American

dream, or you already lived according to somebody else's theory of what

a happy life should look like.

You already did that.

Why would you turn around and take some sort of test based on either your

habits or your personality or the.

day and time in which you were born, why would you take that and

then go, Oh, this must be who I am.

You already did that.

You already had somebody say, Oh, you were born, you were born a girl.

Okay.

So here's what you do.

Here's how you appear.

Nice.

You already, you.

You already did that.

Oh, you're a girl.

Here's the kind of here's the kinds of things that you should do in life.

Teaching, nursing you know, and the list goes on.

You've already done that.

You already had somebody say, Oh, here's, here's you.

Let us put you into this theory or this box, and this

should lead to your happy life.

And this is, this is, this is also, you have to do this in a

certain order in a certain way in order to quote unquote succeed.

You already did that.

You don't need another personality test or another theory or some

design to tell you who you are.

You are the design.

And so I'm.

I don't use personality tests in my programs.

I don't use personality tests as part of my coaching because what tends to happen

is people take things like that and they go, Oh, I am a, you know, Enneagram 8.

This is who I am.

And I almost think, I do have to say, sometimes I wonder if it helps

people to use something like that to be able to describe themselves to

someone else because we have never been taught how to describe who

we are without saying what we do.

That's something very, very difficult.

For so many of us, we've never tried to say who we are without

a title or a credential.

You are not a title.

You are not a credential.

You are not another personality test.

Okay?

And you don't, when you learn, when you dig into who are you and you

start taking action to figure that out and you start going out and

finding The things that light you up and experiencing those with others.

You don't, you don't need a personality test to describe yourself

when you go to meet somebody.

You don't need a title or a credential.

You know who you are and you know who you are not, you know exactly who that is.

And then you get to start showing up as that person.

And when you show up as that person, that is when you are going

to attract these things into your life that are operating at that

higher vibrational frequency, like.

The freaking business of your dreams, the life that it looks like you're living for

the dash, not just the start and end date.

You're living for everything in between because you don't, you're not living

according to somebody else's box or theory that they're trying to put you into.

You don't need a human design to learn how to run your business.

You need to learn who the fuck you are, who you are not.

and figure out what you want to do, who you are and what you want to do.

That's what you need to figure out.

You don't have to, you do not have to take a personality test that once

again, just tells you who you are.

You're you, there's only one of you.

You are unique as fuck.

I know, it sounds cheesy.

You've heard it a million times, right?

Like, alright, I know, everybody tells me that.

It's kind of annoying.

I, I, I realize though, I have a lot of habits, as other people.

You might, you very well might.

And there might be some parts of your mindset that Look a lot

like somebody else's that's okay.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But at the end of the day, that's you are still the most unique person.

Your DNA is not anybody else's period.

Your thoughts are your thoughts.

What you feel in your gut when you're experiencing something,

that's your second brain telling you.

What feels good?

What doesn't feel good?

And I realize that can be tricky.

Like we've all heard about, Oh man, I want those butterflies

in my stomach, the kind of love.

And then now we're hearing those butterflies were actually like a red flag.

And you're like.

Oh, that explains a lot,

funny.

I guess I didn't know what peace felt like before.

I didn't know what calm felt like.

I didn't know what experiencing life felt like.

I just knew the things I thought I was supposed to do.

So yeah, it was a super interesting experience when I was on this podcast

and she starts naming all these things.

Well, do you use Myers Briggs?

Do you use Enneagram?

Human design.

What do you use?

And I was like, No, no, we start having conversations.

We start talking about the things that, that, that they want to

experience, the things that they want to do, what they want for their

future, what the things that just fucking drain their energy versus the

things that light them the hell up.

We start having those conversations and talking about experiencing your business.

As all of you, as your whole you, the other piece of this that I, I also want

to talk about that I think becomes super common too, is we have this belief.

Here's the other thing.

The other box we put ourselves into this belief that there's two sides of us.

Well, there's the side.

I show my work friends, and then there's the side that I show my real friends,

or there's the person that shows up in corporate America and then there's the

person that shows up for everybody else.

See, I have two sides.

No, you don't.

There is one of you.

You have a filtered, masked part that you are showing.

In your corporate job and you've been taught your whole life that that's what

you're supposed to show you've been taught your whole life how to be nice,

what nice meant, how nice meant making yourself smaller, not talking, not

speaking your truth out of niceness.

And I had a lot of thoughts as I'm sharing this story and I'm, I'm

sharing that this was something that I disagreed with the podcast host on.

And I had a lot of thoughts like in that very moment, I was like,

What am I not expressing myself?

And I was like, okay, there's a, you, you get to decide, is this, is this

something that's holding me back?

Or do I get to say, I see you, I hear you, I feel this is something important to you.

And, and therefore I'm, I'm, what is my most important thing?

If you've listened to my podcast for any length of time, if you're

in my Facebook group for any length of time, you know, that one of like,

The things that lights my soul on fire more than any else, anything

else is helping another woman shine.

So in that moment, I just let her shine.

This is, this is her opinion.

She gets to have it and it's her fucking show.

Guess what?

I have my own show.

I have my own microphone.

I can show up on my show with my microphone and share my opinion and why I

believe in this and why I don't believe in this and what I think and feel about it.

And Oh gosh, I just remembered another part of that story where I'm saying,

where I was saying that that the coach I was on the coffee chat with who was

like, Oh that's not your human design.

Like you're, you're human design.

You're not supposed to be running your business like that or whatever.

One of the things she is, she started, she's like, are you

sure you have your birth time?

Right.

I'm like, listen, lady, I have heard my birth story from my

mother and my grandmother a million times over in my life.

I know how this story goes.

According to my mother, she was in the worst pain of her whole entire life.

More than any one person could ever possibly experience.

And she had to wait while my grandmother put on her makeup and fixed her hair

before they could go into the hospital.

But according to my grandmother, who had had five children of her

own, they had plenty of time.

Mom was not in that much pain yet, and it only took her 10 minutes.

Not several hours, like mom would say.

I don't know, my best guess is the truth is somewhere in between those two stories.

I don't really know, but I'm like, No, I know the time.

Because they both shared the time.

I know the story, like, I think the time on my birth certificate is accurate.

I think that maybe I don't fit into your box.

I think maybe I don't need your quote unquote human design

because I am the fucking design.

You get to be your own fucking design.

That's what I'm here to tell you.

You get to design this and make this look however you want.

All you have to do is show up for it.

Fully.

That's the hard part.

That is probably the hardest part because you're going,

well, how can I show up for it?

If I don't know who I am?

Well, let me tell you you're gonna freaking quick when

you just show up for living.

You're going to figure it out I promise you and you don't need

you don't need a personality test.

Anyways, okay so I want you to consider that the next time you're feeling

like I Feel like there's two sides of me and I don't know what to do.

There aren't two sides of you There is one you, and unfortunately, there

is a filtered version of you that's showing up certain hours of the

day in order to earn a paycheck.

And there's nothing wrong with earning a paycheck.

There are a million and one ways to earn an income, and a

W 2 job is just one of them.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

But I want you to understand that when that is keeping you small, when

that is forcing you to have to hold.

back who you really are.

That's why it makes clocking in and clocking out so fucking miserable.

That's why you hate it so much because it is forcing you to

hide who you are at your core.

And there's only so long that you can live like that before it

literally eats away at your body.

I'm here to tell you, I'm here to tell you not being able to

live and speak your truths, not being able to be you at your core.

is what causes illnesses.

It's what will literally eat you alive.

That saying is not just a saying, that is truth.

So I want you to know, knowing who the fuck you are and what you came

here to do is probably one of the key pieces that we work on in my coaching.

And you're thinking, well, what the hell has that got to do with business?

You've already taken all the courses on strategy.

You, you, you, you do a million things on strategy.

You, you absorb all the free content on how to, how to

gain followers on Instagram.

You're doing all that, but I'm here to tell you that in until you are so damn.

Confident in who you are, that you don't give a shit about a title.

You don't give a shit about credentials.

You don't give a shit about somebody's personality test and where you

fit on it and whether or not your business is built around that test

and that box or that theory you've been given, it's going to be.

So much easier for you to get sales and to truly build and grow your business.

The moment you start learning just who the fuck you are and

you let all that other shit go.

So, yeah, that was just on my heart for today.

I, I really, I.

I had this experience and I thought, I don't know that

I've talked a lot about this.

I know that last episode, I talked a lot about trying to determine

what route you want to take.

And I walked you guys through an exercise of I want you guys through

an exercise that I like to use and, you know, in that episode, which

if you didn't catch it, I highly encourage you to go back an episode.

And so one of the things that I talked about in that episode is.

Becoming a different person and how you have become a different person, how

the person who finally says, I'm okay.

And I feel confident to say, I have a business idea and I'm ready to act on it.

That person is not the same person just a few years prior to that, who was so masked

and so filtered in their entire life.

They couldn't even fathom saying such a thing.

Go back and check out that episode as well, but it reminded me that the piece

that I haven't shared with you is that.

It's not just recognizing the ways you have become a different person.

It's digging deeper into knowing exactly who you are and

exactly what you want to do.

All right.

I hope you all enjoyed this episode today.

I hope that maybe something kind of resonated with you.

Because as fun as it is, I mean, we all grew up taking

those little personality tests.

You know, I don't like, look, they're fun.

I get it.

You know, you you've done, you've done all the ones in.

I get like an Enneagram is one of the things that I really enjoy studying

as well because there's parts of that that I hear and I read and I, I learn

about and I'm like, Ooh, there's so many pieces of me that yes, yes, I do that.

I think that that's me.

And then I look at it and I go, and then there's these other parts that it

describes that doesn't resonate with me.

And I want you to know that that's okay.

It's not going to resonate with you.

It's a theory and you're not just a theory, you're so much more.

You are feeling like this is the part that maybe you are missing.

I want you to know that I still have a slot available in the show up to level up.

Program and if you have been struggling and you feel like I am doing all the do

I am working all the work I have taken a million different courses on strategy

and how to post to social media and and I've gone to going to all these

networking meetings and I'm getting in all All these one, one to ones or coffee

chats or whatever you call it in, in all these different networking groups.

And it's just not resonating with me and I'm still not getting sales.

And and I don't know where to go.

I encourage you to click the link and take a look at show up to level up.

This is something that we work through because the last thing

you need is another strategy.

You've already done that.

You've already bought the course, a million courses.

You've already created a million webinars.

You have wrote a book's worth of content.

You have, you've created a million and one, five tips and how to's and,

but the part that you're missing.

Is who the fuck you are.

So check out the show notes.

And if you're wanting to get a whole lot more, be sure to check out the

Facebook group, a whole lot of shift, because that is where I go live.

And there's so many more tips shared in that group and we are

building a community over there.

So I hope that you will join me.

Thank you all for joining.

I appreciate all of you.

And until next time, keep making shift happen by now.

Hey shifters, thank you so much for tuning in to another

episode of A Whole Lotta Shift.

If you heard something today that inspired you or resonated with you,

please head over to iTunes and leave us a review to help others as well.

Your review helps me give as much motivation and

inspiration as I possibly can.

And don't forget, you can catch all the outtakes, bonuses, special live

stream interviews, and much more over at A Whole Lotta Shift Facebook group.

Until next time, keep making shift happen.