Artwork for podcast Wellness Big Sis: The Pod
67:: getting vulnerable about my own mental health journey & faith
Episode 82 • Bonus Episode • 21st July 2025 • Wellness Big Sis: The Pod • Dr. Kelsy Vick
00:00:00 00:25:52

Share Episode

Shownotes

Wellness girl chat with us this week as we chat about mental health. I get a little vulnerable on my own mental health journey over the last 3 years while also diving deeper into my faith. We also chat tips and tricks that I’ve learned to help with my own anxiety, need for control, and mental health. If you’ve ever struggled with your own mental health or have loved ones who have struggled, then this episode is for you!

Grab your very own Stakt Mat & Accessories for 10% off your order while also supporting the pod! (Thank you so much!):: https://shopstakt.com/?rave=DAW65UTUF4VNG7OV

loving the pod? click the follow button, & we'd love if you could leave a review!

insta:: @dr.kelsyvickdpt & @elaa_wellness & @wellnessbigsispod

youtube:: @dr.kelsyvickdpt

tiktok:: @dr.kelsyvickdpt

sign up for the free wellness big sis newsletter!

sign up for our patreon for exclusive content & workouts!

00:00– 00:17 Intro

00:18– 00:45 Getting Vulnerable about Mental Health

00:46– 02:19 Personal Mental Health Journey

02:20– 03:51 Faith and Mental Health

03:52– 11:28 Struggles and Realizations

11:29– 12:03 Stakt Mat

12:04– 14:30 Seeking Professional Help

14:31– 19:26 Daily Practices for Mental Health

19:27– 23:46 Current Challenges and Reflections

23:47– 25:23 Conclusion and Sharing your own tips & tricks!

Mentioned in this episode:

Grab your very own Stakt Mat & Accessories for 10% off your order while also supporting the pod! (Thank you so much!):: https://shopstakt.com/?rave=DAW65UTUF4VNG7OV

Transcripts

Speaker:

Today we're gonna get a little

vulnerable about mental health.

2

00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:07,869

I know so many of us have mental

health challenges and we have ups

3

00:00:07,869 --> 00:00:09,160

and downs with our mental health.

4

00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:14,499

And I'm in this period of being

able to sort of talk about

5

00:00:14,529 --> 00:00:15,580

some of my own challenges.

6

00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,650

So we're gonna get a little

bit vulnerable today.

7

00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,729

Talk about mental health, and then talk

about ways that I've seen progress within

8

00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:23,860

my own mental health and hopefully.

9

00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,330

I guess help those of you guys who

have also experienced mental health

10

00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:28,770

challenges to not feel so alone.

11

00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:30,750

So welcome back to

Wellness Fix of the Pod.

12

00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,410

I'm your host, Dr.

13

00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:34,440

Kelsey Vic, a board certified

orthopedic doctor of physical therapy

14

00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,270

and a pelvic floor physical therapist

15

00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,500

. and mental health, especially over the

last three years has been something

16

00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:42,940

that has been on my mind a lot.

17

00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:46,990

It has taken a lot of my own

effort in order to get to the

18

00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:48,640

place that I am at right now.

19

00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:52,090

And we won't be going into

specifics, but I just want to

20

00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:53,379

share some of the things that.

21

00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:56,190

I felt when going through my

own mental health struggles.

22

00:00:56,190 --> 00:01:01,170

And then also what I'm noticing now, my

word of the year for 2025 is healing.

23

00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:07,290

Healing my brain, healing my mental

health, my body, my physical self, how

24

00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:11,329

I feel psychologically, my relationships

healing in a variety of ways.

25

00:01:11,329 --> 00:01:17,030

And we are going through some exciting

changes as a family and something that.

26

00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:22,090

I have been looking forward to for a

very long time, but something that's

27

00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:23,890

also causing a little bit of anxiety.

28

00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:30,250

And so it's sort of been my first test

after learning new tactics and tools

29

00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:33,100

throughout therapy and throughout the

last like three years, going through

30

00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,460

my own mental health struggles where

I'm finally able to realize like,

31

00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:40,330

oh my gosh, Kelsey, all of that

hard work is paying off right now.

32

00:01:40,830 --> 00:01:46,490

I can see that in how I'm handling

some of these just more anxious,

33

00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,520

more nerve wracking struggles, even

though it's for something that's

34

00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,720

very exciting for our family.

35

00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:57,850

I guess a little bit of a backstory on my

own, sort of like growing up, I was always

36

00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,860

a very positive and optimistic person.

37

00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,890

I have always relied heavily on my faith.

38

00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:07,420

I've always been someone who turns to her

faith and her relationship with God in

39

00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,610

order to help whenever she's struggling.

40

00:02:09,669 --> 00:02:12,550

Even way back in middle school and

high school, Kelsey dealing with

41

00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:17,530

boys troubles and friend troubles

and things that right now are.

42

00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:21,329

Something that are so far from my

mind, but something that Littler

43

00:02:21,329 --> 00:02:24,089

Kelsey was definitely struggling

with and I was always optimistic.

44

00:02:24,089 --> 00:02:25,500

I was always positive about it.

45

00:02:25,559 --> 00:02:30,359

And so I never really got into this deep

mental health struggle where it was tough

46

00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:33,030

for me to climb back out of that hole.

47

00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:35,910

And I know many of you guys

have been in that hole and.

48

00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:42,240

Some way younger than me at, you know,

8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old, 13 years old,

49

00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,550

some in high school, some in college.

50

00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:48,660

I guess I feel very privileged to say

mine happened later on in life that I had

51

00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:54,770

a very easy time with my mental health,

relatively speaking when I was younger.

52

00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:59,570

And then it wasn't until about three

years ago where something just shifted

53

00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:04,130

in my external circumstances that caused

me to sort of spiral a little bit and.

54

00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:08,859

I finally understood what other people

were talking about when they say they.

55

00:03:09,359 --> 00:03:13,644

It felt like they didn't necessarily

have any more hope or they couldn't feel

56

00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,165

fully happy, a hundred percent happy.

57

00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:17,394

They didn't feel like themselves.

58

00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:18,535

They felt a shell of themselves.

59

00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:21,954

I have a really good friend who in

PT school, she would tell me, she's

60

00:03:21,954 --> 00:03:24,864

like, I don't know how you guys

stayed friends with me in PT school,

61

00:03:24,864 --> 00:03:28,254

because I was a shell of myself,

and I never truly understood that.

62

00:03:28,254 --> 00:03:29,605

I'd been through stresses in life.

63

00:03:29,605 --> 00:03:34,165

I'd been through grief and sadness and

heartbreak and all of those things, but.

64

00:03:34,494 --> 00:03:37,734

My faith, I think helped me with that

and the strength of my relationship

65

00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:41,035

with God helped me with that to

realize that it was all working

66

00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:45,645

for the good in my life eventually,

even if it was a momentary struggle.

67

00:03:45,645 --> 00:03:50,535

But over the last three years or

so, I finally got to a point where.

68

00:03:51,135 --> 00:03:54,225

There times when I did not have that hope.

69

00:03:54,225 --> 00:03:59,085

I did not have that ability to see into

the future and actually believe that

70

00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:00,585

something good was coming out of this.

71

00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,485

And that's a really scary place to be

and I know a lot of you guys have also

72

00:04:04,485 --> 00:04:07,175

been there and might still be there.

73

00:04:07,175 --> 00:04:11,675

And if you are in that

position, I am not someone to.

74

00:04:12,175 --> 00:04:13,045

Discount that at all.

75

00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,715

Like I'm not someone who's going

to invalidate that at all because

76

00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:17,425

I have totally been there.

77

00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:22,495

It is a scary, scary place to be and it's

somewhere that I was for a very long time

78

00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:26,485

and I'm gonna, I guess tell you guys what

has helped me today to get out of that.

79

00:04:26,485 --> 00:04:31,225

But I totally expect myself to also have

those struggles possibly again and again.

80

00:04:31,435 --> 00:04:33,715

But now I feel like I do have.

81

00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,475

a better understanding of what got me

into that position in the first place.

82

00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:40,534

And tools to help me if

I am in that position.

83

00:04:40,595 --> 00:04:44,795

And then tools to hopefully help

me to climb my way back out.

84

00:04:44,795 --> 00:04:47,355

And again, if you're in that

position right now, I am.

85

00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,825

I don't think I can

adequately say with words how.

86

00:04:51,075 --> 00:04:58,365

much I wish you were out of this, I guess,

and how much, knowing that what, oh gosh.

87

00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:02,985

Tears, I guess, but knowing where

I was probably about two years ago

88

00:05:02,985 --> 00:05:04,815

or a year and a half ago, it's.

89

00:05:05,315 --> 00:05:06,695

It's a scary, scary place.

90

00:05:06,695 --> 00:05:10,205

And I guess the advice that I

can give right now, and something

91

00:05:10,565 --> 00:05:15,575

that is hopefully encouraging is

to just keep trudging through.

92

00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:19,265

Just, it feels sometimes

like you're digging a hole.

93

00:05:19,265 --> 00:05:22,955

This is the image that always came to

mind when I was going through all of this

94

00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:25,355

and when I was journaling and trying to.

95

00:05:25,864 --> 00:05:28,835

Put words to how I was feeling,

or images to how I was feeling.

96

00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,385

It felt like I was

digging, trying to get out.

97

00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:34,294

But what I was really doing was just

digging further and further down.

98

00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:38,354

And the image that always came to mind

as someone who relies heavily on our

99

00:05:38,354 --> 00:05:43,174

faith, is that image of me digging

a hole, me facing down, just digging

100

00:05:43,174 --> 00:05:47,194

that hole for myself, trying to get

out, thinking I'm going the right way.

101

00:05:47,694 --> 00:05:53,155

When in reality God is leaning over the

hole, hand extended waiting for me just

102

00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:55,164

to grasp it so that he can help me out.

103

00:05:55,164 --> 00:05:59,444

And it was this image that

helped me, understand how I

104

00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:00,614

was feeling in that moment.

105

00:06:00,614 --> 00:06:06,224

And I just, I really, as much as I can

understand, given my own circumstances

106

00:06:06,224 --> 00:06:09,764

compared to your circumstances, which

I'm sure are very different than my own,

107

00:06:09,764 --> 00:06:14,434

and probably way worse than what I was

going through, because let's be real.

108

00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:18,064

There were so many times that I

felt guilty for feeling that way,

109

00:06:18,064 --> 00:06:22,684

knowing that so many people have

struggles far greater than mine.

110

00:06:22,684 --> 00:06:25,894

But just know if you're

in that position that I.

111

00:06:26,394 --> 00:06:30,924

That this episode's for you to hopefully

help you feel a little bit less alone

112

00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:35,904

and to maybe give you guys some tips and

tricks to implement in your own life.

113

00:06:35,904 --> 00:06:39,804

And then also let's make this a two-way

street because I know so many of us

114

00:06:39,804 --> 00:06:40,974

are going to struggle with it again.

115

00:06:40,974 --> 00:06:45,014

And I'd love what has helped you

guys in the past too, or what is

116

00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:48,824

helping you right now as you're going

through this mental health challenge.

117

00:06:49,324 --> 00:06:52,294

So I guess a little bit more of

what was going on for me mentally,

118

00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:54,374

My experiences had shifted.

119

00:06:54,374 --> 00:06:56,574

My external environment had shifted.

120

00:06:56,824 --> 00:07:02,614

how I viewed myself, how I lived my

life, how I experienced joy, happiness,

121

00:07:02,614 --> 00:07:06,754

peace, positivity, all of that shifted

about three years ago, and I didn't

122

00:07:06,754 --> 00:07:08,944

expect it to happen necessarily.

123

00:07:08,944 --> 00:07:11,914

I was okay with that shift

in external circumstances.

124

00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:16,274

I had agreed to that shift in external

circumstances, Looking back, and

125

00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:21,374

even during, I had this thought

that I am going through significant

126

00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,604

mental health struggles right now.

127

00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:26,144

I'm really trying to fight my mind

and fight my brain and fight what's

128

00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:30,825

happening with all of my neurochemistry,

all of my emotions, and I know that

129

00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:31,965

it is going to make me stronger.

130

00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:35,864

But when you're in that

place, you absolutely hate it.

131

00:07:35,864 --> 00:07:37,514

It freaking sucks, right?

132

00:07:37,514 --> 00:07:41,175

It's, you know that there's going

to be this stronger version on the

133

00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:43,634

other side, but you can't see the

light at the end of the tunnel.

134

00:07:43,634 --> 00:07:45,165

You don't know when that's gonna happen.

135

00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:48,734

And I think part of that is faith

had really helped me to have that

136

00:07:48,764 --> 00:07:52,634

perspective even when I was, I guess

deeper in the pits a little bit,

137

00:07:52,634 --> 00:07:58,154

where I always knew that things, and I

believe that things work for the good

138

00:07:58,185 --> 00:08:03,284

of our world and the good of ourselves

and the good of our relationships.

139

00:08:03,284 --> 00:08:07,094

And so I have that like deeper

belief that helped, but.

140

00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:11,945

The longer it went on, and the more

I struggled and the more I kept

141

00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:14,585

trying to climb outta that hole,

but really digging it further,

142

00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:16,385

the less and less I believed it.

143

00:08:16,385 --> 00:08:18,035

And that's a really scary place to be.

144

00:08:18,035 --> 00:08:22,415

And for someone who had really

had a strong relationship in her

145

00:08:22,415 --> 00:08:24,785

faith, I started to get angry.

146

00:08:24,785 --> 00:08:26,375

I started to get frustrated.

147

00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:28,235

I started to ask questions like, why me?

148

00:08:28,235 --> 00:08:30,335

Like so many of us probably have and.

149

00:08:30,835 --> 00:08:32,453

I think that was actually really healthy.

150

00:08:32,453 --> 00:08:36,624

I think being honest in my faith

and in my relationship with God was

151

00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:38,554

something that really helped me as.

152

00:08:39,109 --> 00:08:42,249

Someone who strongly believes that

God loves me so much and wants the

153

00:08:42,249 --> 00:08:45,489

best for me, if I can be honest

with him about where I'm at.

154

00:08:45,489 --> 00:08:48,219

I think that only helps to

build that relationship.

155

00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:53,799

So that is, I guess one of my tips that I

learned was not trying to be so positive

156

00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:58,239

all the time about the situation that

you're in, but being real and letting.

157

00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:02,339

Your faith guide you, but also

being honest about where you're at.

158

00:09:02,339 --> 00:09:05,999

And that's something that I had

pushed away for so long because I

159

00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:08,099

used to, I guess, gaslight myself

and be like, Kelsey, you don't

160

00:09:08,099 --> 00:09:09,180

have it as bad as some people.

161

00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:10,829

Like you have no reason to be angry.

162

00:09:11,249 --> 00:09:12,900

And maybe that is true.

163

00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,869

I mean, I know that so many

people have it worse than me and.

164

00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:19,439

I know that my situation could not

even come close to the struggles

165

00:09:19,489 --> 00:09:23,269

that some people face, but for me

and for my life, for some reason,

166

00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:24,319

that's what really set it off.

167

00:09:24,319 --> 00:09:28,759

And so it's okay to validate your own

feelings, validate your own anger, and be

168

00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:32,599

honest about your relationship with your

faith and your relationship with God,

169

00:09:32,609 --> 00:09:35,459

and saying, I trust you wholeheartedly.

170

00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,770

But I'm angry right now because

I don't understand why I'm having

171

00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:41,870

to walk through this, why I'm

having to sludge through this.

172

00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,640

And so that's one of the

things that helped me.

173

00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,380

So again, if you're in that situation

right now, if you have been in that

174

00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:51,550

situation, I'm sure you've also realized

that and understood that, especially

175

00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,515

if you have a strong faith or a faith

in general It's something that I do

176

00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:58,485

think really helped me and probably

took me far too long to learn, but

177

00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:03,015

being real about where you're at in

your struggle really, really helps.

178

00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:08,195

So mentally, because I had agreed to

this experience and agreed to these

179

00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:12,225

changes in my life, I had, started to.

180

00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:17,880

Shut myself down whenever I felt happy,

peaceful, joyful, anything like that

181

00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,260

because I felt like I didn't deserve it.

182

00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:22,510

I felt like I needed to keep my nose

to the grind and keep pushing, keep

183

00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:27,430

hustling, keep just like working so,

so hard and that I didn't necessarily

184

00:10:27,430 --> 00:10:29,290

deserve that happiness or that joy

185

00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:32,530

Over time, I didn't realize I was

doing this, but anytime I would feel

186

00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:37,040

happiness with anything in life, I

would start to put a fence or put a

187

00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,690

barrier around that emotion and really

control it, which we don't wanna do.

188

00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:45,410

We want to be able to feel all

the emotions, both favorable

189

00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:46,850

and unfavorable emotions.

190

00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:48,560

But I had been putting.

191

00:10:48,995 --> 00:10:51,995

A fence and a barrier around the

max happiness that I could feel.

192

00:10:51,995 --> 00:10:55,895

And it started manifesting itself

physically so I could feel it in my chest.

193

00:10:56,135 --> 00:10:57,395

I could feel it in my headaches.

194

00:10:57,395 --> 00:11:03,065

I could feel things where I noticed

myself just blocking some of these

195

00:11:03,365 --> 00:11:05,285

emotions, and that's positive ones.

196

00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:08,195

And also like sadness,

anxiety, frustration.

197

00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:11,315

I was pushing that down without

actually paying attention to it.

198

00:11:11,815 --> 00:11:16,465

So the physicality of those emotions

and the manifestations of those emotions

199

00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:21,745

physically is really what led me to

seek therapy and seek professional

200

00:11:21,745 --> 00:11:25,855

guidance with this, because it was the

first time that I'd really struggled

201

00:11:25,855 --> 00:11:27,775

this much intrinsically and internally.

202

00:11:28,045 --> 00:11:29,095

I was fighting myself.

203

00:11:29,095 --> 00:11:29,875

I was fighting my brain.

204

00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:30,985

What's the right thing to do?

205

00:11:31,165 --> 00:11:32,305

Where do I push myself?

206

00:11:32,305 --> 00:11:33,295

And I really wanted.

207

00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:37,090

Someone else's help to work

through that in a healthy way.

208

00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:41,920

And for me, again, my faith is a

huge part of how I handle certain

209

00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,390

things and how I live life.

210

00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:47,650

And I knew that I wanted a therapist

who had a faith-based perspective.

211

00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:50,440

And so I went about looking

for someone like that.

212

00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:54,730

And I know so many of my friends who

have different life experiences than

213

00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,130

me also look for therapists that.

214

00:11:57,630 --> 00:12:01,080

Work with people with their same

life experiences, whether you want

215

00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,840

a female or a male, whether you want

someone who has the same cultural

216

00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,610

background or ethnicity that you do.

217

00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:11,230

Someone who has the same family life

or the same beliefs or the same values.

218

00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,010

So I really did want that faith-based

perspective and that faith-based

219

00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:20,230

guidance with who I chose to work with

in therapy, and I found an amazing.

220

00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:23,790

Person and someone that I ended up

working with for like 18 months.

221

00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:27,000

And so I guess if you're going

through that and you're struggling to

222

00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,750

realize like, oh, is this something

that someone else can help me with?

223

00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,380

Yes.

224

00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:36,350

I highly recommend reaching out to someone

and again, I feel very blessed that I'm

225

00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,000

only going through this later on in life.

226

00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,020

I know plenty of friends and family

members that have had to get professional

227

00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:46,940

help earlier on in life, and they have way

better backgrounds on it than I do, but

228

00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,050

as someone who had to seek out

professional help for mental health

229

00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:55,930

struggles in her later twenties, I

realize now that they are there to

230

00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:58,210

support you and they truly do support you.

231

00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,040

And if you don't feel supported,

that's the other thing.

232

00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:02,090

you don't have to stick

with the same therapist.

233

00:13:02,090 --> 00:13:05,240

You can try and find someone who

you actually feel supported by and

234

00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,680

who feels like they're guiding you.

235

00:13:07,205 --> 00:13:09,635

Or who you feel like is

guiding you in a positive way.

236

00:13:09,635 --> 00:13:14,165

So highly recommend, especially if you

are currently going through a mental

237

00:13:14,165 --> 00:13:17,825

health struggle, or again, in the future

when we're inevitably all going to

238

00:13:17,825 --> 00:13:19,415

experience some of these challenges.

239

00:13:19,915 --> 00:13:23,125

So I guess my schedule for that, I started

out weekly then every other week, then

240

00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,805

once a month, and then every few months.

241

00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:29,365

So it just sort of, I wanted that

consistency and that ability to sort

242

00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:35,875

of have this accountability for how

I was working and healing my own

243

00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:37,845

internal conflict, my own brain.

244

00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:41,735

The other thing that really helped me

and something that I still do is weekly

245

00:13:41,735 --> 00:13:47,055

adoration It's a dedicated prayer time

for me that's like an hour a week.

246

00:13:47,295 --> 00:13:51,915

I bring my journal, I bring the readings

from the week before I go over it.

247

00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:55,295

sometimes I'll bring headphones

to listen to different faith-based

248

00:13:55,295 --> 00:13:59,195

messages or different faith-based

prayers that I can follow along with.

249

00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:04,415

It's really just this dedicated

hour that I participate in every

250

00:14:04,415 --> 00:14:07,985

week, and I wish I had the.

251

00:14:08,235 --> 00:14:12,375

consistency every day to do it for an

hour, but it's this really dedicated

252

00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:15,295

time where I could just journal out

my thoughts I think the important

253

00:14:15,295 --> 00:14:18,565

thing to note with dedicated prayer

time or dedicated investment into

254

00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:22,855

your faith, I look at it as a two-way

street, and this has really helped me.

255

00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:24,535

A relationship is two ways.

256

00:14:24,565 --> 00:14:30,595

Oftentimes with our faith, what happens

is we start to ask God or thank God or.

257

00:14:31,095 --> 00:14:35,145

Make it all about us, I guess, and

what we can get out of that interaction

258

00:14:35,145 --> 00:14:38,925

and that relationship when in reality

the best relationships are two ways.

259

00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:41,704

You both get something from

each other a little bit.

260

00:14:41,704 --> 00:14:47,135

And this hour a week, sometimes after I

would feel like I solved all my problems.

261

00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:48,785

Like the world was in a better place.

262

00:14:48,785 --> 00:14:49,925

Like I was in a better place.

263

00:14:49,954 --> 00:14:54,694

And then sometimes it was like nothing

had changed, like nothing had happened.

264

00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:58,355

Sometimes I felt emotion stirring

that were a little worse than before.

265

00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:03,233

But something that I've realized

is it's the act of showing up.

266

00:15:03,263 --> 00:15:07,553

It's the act of putting in

that effort and consistently.

267

00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:13,513

Communicating with God every single week,

no matter if I get something out of it,

268

00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,013

because that's not true love, right?

269

00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:18,733

If you're expecting to get something out

of a relationship that's not true love.

270

00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:22,003

True love is showing up even when

you don't get something out of it.

271

00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:25,903

And building on that relationship

and trying to invest in that

272

00:15:25,903 --> 00:15:29,143

relationship, knowing that you

might not get anything in return.

273

00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:32,533

And I think that was something that

was very important for me to learn and

274

00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:35,413

realize over the last, now probably

three or four years that I've been

275

00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:39,703

going to weekly adoration, where even

if I don't get anything out of it.

276

00:15:40,203 --> 00:15:45,663

It's my way of investing in that

relationship and showing up and loving

277

00:15:45,663 --> 00:15:51,643

and investing into my faith without

expectation of anything in return.

278

00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:52,273

And.

279

00:15:52,773 --> 00:15:56,403

Yes, it gave me time to write

down my thoughts to pray,

280

00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:57,903

which are all good things.

281

00:15:57,903 --> 00:16:01,743

But if you go into any prayer time

expecting something in return, I feel

282

00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:06,643

like we're already entering into that

in A faulty mindset a little bit, rather

283

00:16:06,643 --> 00:16:10,693

than going into it as like, Hey, this is

my way of building my faith and building

284

00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:14,863

that relationship and making it a two-way

street, no matter if I get something in

285

00:16:14,863 --> 00:16:19,633

return, that being maybe this positive

feeling or this enlightenment of some

286

00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:24,883

sort or not, it's still my way of showing

God that I care about our relationship.

287

00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,833

So that was, I guess, my way to do it.

288

00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:31,303

There's so many ways to do it, but going

to that weekly adoration and having this

289

00:16:31,303 --> 00:16:33,073

like weekly prayer time for an hour.

290

00:16:33,808 --> 00:16:38,448

Where I could truly just spend it

on our relationship was huge for me.

291

00:16:38,948 --> 00:16:40,748

Also, learning how to communicate better.

292

00:16:40,748 --> 00:16:44,168

That's probably one of the things I

went to therapy for initially was how

293

00:16:44,168 --> 00:16:48,518

do I communicate how I'm feeling without

burdening others and realizing that.

294

00:16:49,148 --> 00:16:52,478

I can only control what I can control,

and I can't control how others respond.

295

00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:56,708

And so learning how to communicate

better and practicing better

296

00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,658

communication was also huge for me.

297

00:16:58,658 --> 00:17:03,698

And again, I know I'm so late to learning

all of these things, but if you're also

298

00:17:03,698 --> 00:17:06,848

in the same boat, if you're younger than

me, if you're older than me, whatever, I

299

00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:08,438

hope that some of these things help too.

300

00:17:08,938 --> 00:17:11,448

Daily prayer also really helped.

301

00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:15,468

And even if that wasn't just like

free form, sometimes I'd pray the

302

00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,647

serenity prayer because again,

I struggle with like control.

303

00:17:18,647 --> 00:17:19,788

I wanted to control everything.

304

00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:24,917

So the serenity prayer is God, grant me

the serenity to accept the things I cannot

305

00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:29,028

change, the courage to change the things I

can and the wisdom to know the difference.

306

00:17:29,028 --> 00:17:34,608

And I would pray that every morning I'd

pray just different sort of like prayers.

307

00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:39,573

As like my pre meal time prayers, just

to like have that I guess moment and that

308

00:17:39,573 --> 00:17:45,063

dedicated moment to check in and connect

with my faith a little bit throughout

309

00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:50,663

that whole process, but also, even

still, And then I started running again.

310

00:17:50,663 --> 00:17:52,103

I started running for fun.

311

00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:57,383

I started doing movement to help my

mental health, which I'd always done

312

00:17:57,383 --> 00:18:00,683

that with strength and Pilates based

workouts, and just movement in general.

313

00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:05,003

But I'd taken out long runs because

I typically think of running as

314

00:18:05,003 --> 00:18:08,128

a way to increase speed, increase

different variables related

315

00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,238

to my cardiovascular health.

316

00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:11,728

Like there was always an

objective measurement when in

317

00:18:11,728 --> 00:18:13,198

reality running can just be fun.

318

00:18:13,198 --> 00:18:17,998

You could just go out there and run,

and I had never really done that before.

319

00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:22,528

I'd always had a goal in mind, but

throughout all of this I realized

320

00:18:22,888 --> 00:18:25,318

my heart rate would increase, my

blood pressure would increase.

321

00:18:25,448 --> 00:18:29,048

all of these things would manifest

themselves physically and running for

322

00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:30,878

the sake of running and for the sake of.

323

00:18:31,013 --> 00:18:34,253

The enjoyment of running

was hugely helpful for me,

324

00:18:34,753 --> 00:18:37,573

so I wanted to get a little bit

vulnerable about mental health this

325

00:18:37,573 --> 00:18:41,113

week because I think I mentioned at the

beginning, we are going through this

326

00:18:41,113 --> 00:18:47,323

exciting change time in my own family,

and it's something that we have been

327

00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,153

excited about for a very long time.

328

00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:52,513

But it's also something that creates

a little bit of anxiety, a little bit

329

00:18:52,513 --> 00:18:54,193

of nervousness within me, and I could.

330

00:18:54,693 --> 00:19:00,363

Sense myself wanting to go

back into some of those thought

331

00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:01,683

patterns that I had previously.

332

00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:06,093

Not necessarily that deep pit that I felt

like I was in, but being a little bit

333

00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:10,143

more negative or not necessarily trusting

that this was God's plan for our lives.

334

00:19:10,143 --> 00:19:12,198

And so I wanted to talk

about it because I've really.

335

00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:16,628

Noticed over the last probably three,

four weeks that this change has been

336

00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:21,968

going on, that my mindset in general

has been so much more positive.

337

00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:26,708

I've been able to look back and see where

God has been working in this process and

338

00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,428

understand that he will continue to work

throughout the rest of this process.

339

00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:35,668

And it's something that I don't think

I could have done a year ago, two years

340

00:19:35,668 --> 00:19:39,748

ago, three years ago, when I was in this

place where I wouldn't have been able

341

00:19:39,748 --> 00:19:43,978

to hope or feel that joy or peace with

some of the decisions that we've made.

342

00:19:44,278 --> 00:19:46,648

I wouldn't have been able to

see necessarily how God had been

343

00:19:46,648 --> 00:19:47,998

working throughout this process.

344

00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,278

I was just, there was a fog, right?

345

00:19:50,278 --> 00:19:54,508

So now that I'm out of that a little bit

and, and working to heal and working to

346

00:19:54,508 --> 00:19:59,758

fight and have the tools to be able to

help heal my brain a little bit better.

347

00:20:00,358 --> 00:20:06,818

I understand and I can see the, fruits

of my labor I've been able to see.

348

00:20:07,318 --> 00:20:09,778

Exactly how God has been

working in this process.

349

00:20:10,018 --> 00:20:13,498

And I truly do trust and feel peace

about how he's gonna work through the

350

00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:17,758

next, and this is why I wanted to bring

up this topic today was because only

351

00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:22,648

just recently, this has been a test

since going through all of the work

352

00:20:22,648 --> 00:20:25,888

that I've been putting in over the

last two or three years where I now

353

00:20:25,888 --> 00:20:28,258

realize, oh, that actually did help.

354

00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:29,908

My mind is able to.

355

00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:32,608

Look at things in this, this new light.

356

00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:39,058

Without feeling despair or feeling this

anxiety or lack of being in control,

357

00:20:39,558 --> 00:20:42,978

I'm able to stay more hopeful about the

process, feel like myself throughout

358

00:20:42,978 --> 00:20:46,833

the process, even if it does feel out

of my control or bring me some anxiety.

359

00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,913

I told my sister-in-law the other

day, she was texting me and she

360

00:20:49,913 --> 00:20:52,163

was like, oh my gosh, that, you

know, everything that's going on in

361

00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,423

y'all's lives is crazy right now.

362

00:20:53,423 --> 00:20:59,093

And I was like, you know, for some reason

I do feel this peace and I can only

363

00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:03,443

think that that is from God because my

natural wiring is not one towards peace.

364

00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:06,413

It is one towards control and

I wanna control everything.

365

00:21:06,413 --> 00:21:09,803

And right now in this process, it's

something that I have no control over.

366

00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:13,613

And I feel like overall I'm just

proud of how much work I've put in

367

00:21:13,613 --> 00:21:14,993

in order to be able to handle it.

368

00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:19,763

So that's why I wanted to bring it up

today and because I'm fresh in this

369

00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:27,063

process and in this change, and I am

just feeling very proud of the hard work

370

00:21:27,063 --> 00:21:31,833

that I've put in and how I'm handling it

now during this sort of test season of

371

00:21:32,223 --> 00:21:37,023

excitement, this lack of control, anxiety,

nerves, but overall feeling this like joy,

372

00:21:37,023 --> 00:21:40,983

peace, happiness, and able to see how God

has been working through this process.

373

00:21:41,483 --> 00:21:45,323

Something that's also been helping me

is this quote that I read somewhere.

374

00:21:45,323 --> 00:21:50,213

I wish I could remember where, but it

has to do with faith and decisions.

375

00:21:50,213 --> 00:21:53,453

I know a lot of us have a lot of

decisions to make, whether that's

376

00:21:53,453 --> 00:21:56,753

grad school, whether that's classes

to take, whether that's different

377

00:21:56,753 --> 00:22:00,773

phases in life or job opportunities

or internships, whatever it might be.

378

00:22:01,163 --> 00:22:03,593

This quote has sort of been

going through my head that.

379

00:22:04,343 --> 00:22:09,323

Discernment ends once a decision

has been made, and so discerning and

380

00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:12,713

thinking, did I do the right thing or,

which route does he want me to take?

381

00:22:12,713 --> 00:22:16,673

When it comes to my faith, as

soon as a decision has been made,

382

00:22:16,673 --> 00:22:17,993

that's when discernment ends.

383

00:22:18,473 --> 00:22:19,373

So it has helped me to

384

00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:22,903

. Not backtrack and think,

why did we choose that?

385

00:22:22,903 --> 00:22:24,043

did we do something wrong?

386

00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,323

Because once a decision has been

made, and once you move forward

387

00:22:26,323 --> 00:22:29,833

in that process, that's when the

new routes present themselves.

388

00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:34,253

And most of the time you can reroute

from that decision to another way

389

00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:35,573

and, and he'll guide you in that.

390

00:22:35,573 --> 00:22:38,543

But I think that's helped me

in this process to understand.

391

00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:43,603

Discernment is over once a decision

has been made so that once you decide

392

00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:47,023

there's no what ifs, don't go back

to the what ifs, start from that

393

00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:48,283

decision and move on from there.

394

00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,093

So that's really helped me.

395

00:22:49,093 --> 00:22:51,493

I don't know if that quote like

resonates with any of you guys,

396

00:22:51,493 --> 00:22:54,163

but hopefully, because it's helped

me a lot throughout this process.

397

00:22:54,413 --> 00:22:55,698

So I share all of this.

398

00:22:55,698 --> 00:22:58,878

I get vulnerable with all of this

just to show, I guess, a little

399

00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,938

bit of my own healing arc and to.

400

00:23:02,438 --> 00:23:05,408

Hopefully help you guys if y'all

are going through this, if you have

401

00:23:05,408 --> 00:23:08,978

gone through this before, if you

anticipate yourself about to go through

402

00:23:08,978 --> 00:23:11,168

something like this to understand that

403

00:23:11,468 --> 00:23:13,208

there are people out there who can help.

404

00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:18,158

That healing takes time and it's okay

to put in the effort even if you don't

405

00:23:18,158 --> 00:23:23,078

feel the benefits or the fruits of your

labor for, you know, two, three years

406

00:23:23,078 --> 00:23:28,538

at a time that a lot of the time some

of the healing comes and you notice

407

00:23:28,538 --> 00:23:32,408

some of the healing when you undergo

something similar that got you into

408

00:23:32,408 --> 00:23:33,878

that situation in the first place.

409

00:23:33,908 --> 00:23:34,028

And.

410

00:23:34,528 --> 00:23:36,118

Yeah, I'm just noticing all of this.

411

00:23:36,118 --> 00:23:39,238

I'm just living it in real time,

and I wanted to have a little

412

00:23:39,238 --> 00:23:42,208

bit of a vulnerable mental

health chat with you guys today.

413

00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:46,668

I know these are supposed to be fun,

girly, casual summer chats, but.

414

00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,718

this has been something that's been

on my mind recently and something

415

00:23:49,718 --> 00:23:51,068

that I know a lot of us struggle with.

416

00:23:51,068 --> 00:23:53,948

So I hope you guys enjoyed

this episode today.

417

00:23:54,218 --> 00:23:55,328

I hope you got a lot out of it.

418

00:23:55,358 --> 00:23:58,118

If you've also gone through your own

mental health struggles, I'd love

419

00:23:58,118 --> 00:24:02,468

to hear what helps you, because I'm

always interested in, I think even

420

00:24:02,468 --> 00:24:04,358

if you're not going through your

mental health struggle, doing things

421

00:24:04,358 --> 00:24:05,498

that are good for your mental health.

422

00:24:05,998 --> 00:24:08,848

Every week, every day is something

that's hugely beneficial.

423

00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:11,578

So even if you're not going

through a struggle, but you have

424

00:24:11,578 --> 00:24:13,828

things that help your own mental

health, please let me know.

425

00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:15,658

I'd love to listen to 'em.

426

00:24:15,658 --> 00:24:16,648

I'd love to hear about 'em.

427

00:24:16,648 --> 00:24:18,448

I'd love to try them in my own life.

428

00:24:18,478 --> 00:24:21,688

So I've shared with you guys some

of my top, I think like five today.

429

00:24:21,688 --> 00:24:25,108

But if you guys have your own,

please, I am wanting to hear them.

430

00:24:25,258 --> 00:24:28,138

I hope you guys enjoyed this episode

and I'll see you guys again in the next

431

00:24:28,138 --> 00:24:29,848

episode of Wellness Exists, the pod.

Links

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube