As pet groomers, we work with people from all walks of life – and that includes families navigating challenges we may not always see or fully understand.

In this episode, Bill is joined by Danielle Gardner to talk about the realities of being a parent to a child with special educational needs (SEN).

While this might feel outside the usual “business” conversation, it’s an important one – because understanding your clients better helps you run a more compassionate, professional and inclusive grooming business.

Danielle shares her personal journey and opens up about:

• The emotional and practical challenges of raising a child with SEN
• Why everyday tasks can be more complex than they appear
• The importance of patience, understanding and flexibility
• How support networks can make a huge difference
• Why parents often have to advocate strongly for their children

For groomers, this episode is a reminder that behind every booking is a person with their own story.

Something as simple as clear communication, kindness or flexibility with appointments can make a real difference to families dealing with additional pressures.

It also highlights the importance of looking after your own wellbeing – because you can’t support others effectively if you’re burnt out yourself.

This is a powerful conversation that encourages empathy, awareness and a more human approach to running your business.

As always, I'd like to thank the podcast sponsor, Lopay, the low-cost payment platform that helps you keep more of the money you earn.

You can find out more and sign up for Lopay here:

https://merchant.lopay.app/ref/PETPASSION2500

Listeners of this podcast get £2500 of fee-free transactions.

And if you’d like support building a stronger, more understanding and more profitable grooming business, visit:

https://petpassiontoprofit.com/

If this episode gave you a new perspective, make sure you subscribe and share it with another groomer who cares about creating a better client experience. 🐾

Welcome to the Pet Grooming Business Podcast with me, Bill Betts, where we give practical business advice to help you grow your pet grooming business.

This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay, the low rate payment app that gives you more.

So, without further ado, let's get going.

All right, welcome, everyone.

Welcome back to our next episode of this podcast.

Something a little bit different for you today.

I'm joined by Danielle.

Danielle, how are you?

I'm good, thank you.

Jolly good.

Whereabouts are you at the moment?

So I am in Lincolnshire.

Oh, I thought you were in Essex, but you've moved, haven't you?

I did, yes.

I'm originally Essex and then I was up north and now I'm in Lincolnshire.

Nice.

And you're all settled down there, so I'm going to introduce you because you've got many hats.

You wear many hats, don't you?

You are, I suppose I'd say you're a pet professional to begin with.

So tell us about the pet professional side of your business that you run.

Yes.

So I've been a dog trainer and behavior expert for.

Nice.

Is the kennels taken over the training or do you manage to run both?

No, we just do the boarding now.

So the idea was that we wanted to create a safe space for dogs to be able to come on holiday that are reactive.

So we've got like 10 acres of land in the middle of nowhere and loads of space for them, and it's all set up with visual barriers and I won't bore you with the details,.

But I remember, you know, we're part of a coaching group, aren't we?

And I remember you going through the process of buying it and the fears and the worry and the.

The stress and the turmoil.

But look, three years later, you're taking on staff, you know, you're expanding, you're like, oh, I don't know if I'm going holiday this year because I'm so busy sort of thing.

It's crazy.

Yeah, it was a bit of a crazy time, really.

It was all off a bit of a whim, weren't it?

So I come to view the place, felt it was right and six months later moved in.

So nothing like just taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best, is there?

No.

And, you know, ask a busy person, you get, you know, to do something and you get loads done.

So the re the real we're not here to talk about kennels, are we?

We're not here to talk about dog training.

But the real reason why you're here is because of your passion around being a sen parent.

So special educational needs parent.

And the, I suppose we wanted to explore, you know, being a send parent and also the how you want to go on to help a certain parent as well.

And I, I always sort of say this because people sort of might be thinking this is a business podcast, so why are we talking about this?

But my sort of, my thoughts are like, when you're a small business owner, your personal life bleeds into your business, you know, and then your business also bleeds into your personal life.

So when you're.

It's probably the same from big corporate CEOs as well, maybe.

But especially I think for small business owners, your personal life is affecting your business life.

So, you know, tell us a little bit about that.

Tell us about, you know, running a business and being a parent and everything that's been going on.

Yeah.

So I have got two beautiful girls and my oldest was diagnosed autistic when she was 7.

She's going to be 14 in two weeks, which she hasn't let me forget.

And during part of that journey I think that I've done an awful lot of self development work and I've done a lot of.

There's been so many peaks and troughs within my business and my own growth that it's just taken me down a whole new path.

I qualified as a hypnotherapist because I started going down the pathway of my own self healing from all of the trauma that came with her being undiagnosed, not having the support and nobody being there to support us as parents throughout that process.

And we were running the business at the same time alongside that.

So we ended up with.

There was a time within my business that I remember everything being a little bit all over the place while I was trying to navigate how, how we deal with emotional school based avoidance and turn up for my first client of the day all at the same time.

And that was a lot to deal with at the time.

And there wasn't.

I didn't feel like I had anywhere to go that understood that.

Yeah.

If that makes sense.

What sort of year?

What year?

Well, what happened?

How old Was your daughter?

7.

Did you say when she was 7?

When she was diagnosed?

Yeah.

But I'd say the year leading up to that because she was undiagnosed.

I ended up with an awful lot of People trying to tell me how to parent and they were very traditional in their parenting.

And I was bashing up against the thing of everybody trying to tell me that I need to be firmer with her and I need to stick to my boundaries and forcing her into school is the way to go.

And all of this stuff, which was just creating more barriers for us as a family.

And she was becoming more and more dysregulated and it was a bit of a whirlwind like that part of my life.

I've had to do an awful lot of work on overcoming myself from just where I hit mentally.

Yeah.

If you don't, I mean, are you happy to talk about what it was like?

What kind of behaviors were you sort of seeing at home?

She was six years old.

What sort of stuff was going on?

I generally come from this, from a position of where obviously I've.

In the police, I've probably worked with children or come across kids like this or families that are struggling and stuff like that.

But I don't, I might, I don't have this in my household.

So I don't generally don't understand the, you know, what the sort of things you'd be going through, you know.

Okay, okay.

So with Isabella particularly, and every child is different because every child is different then on.

Off.

Right.

So, you know, but with Isabella particularly, I'm not going to go too much into her side because that is her personal.

Yeah.

But I will talk about what I know that she's happy for me to talk about because she is a little advocate nowadays, bless us, for the autism community.

So we were really, really struggling with her mental health at the time, which was, which sounds insane for a six year old.

Okay.

But that is the reality of where we were at.

So we were waiting for crams, which is the children, adolescent mental health services to get involved, to help us out.

At that point she was coming home from school and she just couldn't cope and she was just trashing the place and there was lights being ripped off of the ceiling and there was stuff being thrown everywhere and she did not want to go to school.

So I would pull up at the school and we kind of have to force her into school, which was heartbreaking every single day.

Then you'd get the phone calls from the school that you were dealing with.

You had the meetings that you had to attend.

You know, for us there was an awful lot of meetings at that point.

A lot of worries that you wouldn't imagine as a parent that you would ever have for A child of that age.

Yeah.

And was she being described as, like, naughty, you know, bad behavior, or was the school sort of recognizing the behavior and kind of trying to help, you.

Know, so girls with autism particularly, and boys do too, but girls are renowned for it, are really, really good at doing something called masking.

So what they do is they basically take.

Absorb what's going on around them and do everything they can to fit in.

So they suppress everything down and they will just conform, which is exhausting.

Okay, Absolutely exhausting.

So then what often happens is the child gets home, the child hits their safe space.

And I always described it as, you've got a fizzy pop bottle and that's been shaken all day, and someone takes the lid off when they get home, and it's just volcano.

Right.

And a lot of parents are dealing with that, and that is due to unmet need within school.

And as a parent of a send child, there's an awful lot of fight that has to happen in order for a child's needs to be met, maybe more than what should be.

I know that a lot of parents out there are fighting beyond what they ever should be fighting.

It should be much easier to get to get those simple things in place.

For some children, it is simple things.

It's small, tiny adjustments that need to be made, and it's the difference between that child being able to go to school and stay relaxed for the day and not.

So I think as a parent, what you have is you have all of these emotional things that you have to deal with, and then you've got a child trying to figure out why they feel this way because they totally don't understand their own emotions, bless them, you know, and we're not clued up enough at that stage to be able to help them because we don't understand it because no one's there telling us.

Definitely no manual on this, is there?

No manual for parenting.

Owner manual for parenting a child with additional needs.

Right, yeah.

So by that stage, then you're trying to wear a million hats, none of which you fully understand.

And then you're being told that you've got to fight for your child in order for them to get the support as well.

And then the best bit about it for us was we fought, we got the diagnosis, and they went, oh, cool, you got a diagnosis now.

Bye.

This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay.

Low pay is half the price of sum up and zettle.

So you keep more of the money that you earn.

Rate starts at 0.79%.

I sort of Felt that was the.

That was the, the.

The.

The thing that you needed and someone else will then go and sort it out sort of thing.

Yeah.

And I kind of just went, well, now what?

And they were like, now you need to learn about it.

Yeah.

Did you have to go private for your diagnosis or did you manage to get it through NHS kind of thing?

We went through the nhs.

It's a long waiting list, though, so at the time it was two, two and a half years for the wait list.

I don't know what it is at the moment.

It depends area to area, but there is.

That's a whole whirlwind of itself, trying to get the diagnosis.

And was it a relief getting the diagnosis, or did you kind of.

Kind of knew that it was just like a piece of paper in a way, Like, I know what's going on really, but it's just helps to unlock.

Or it obviously didn't unlock all the support at that stage, but the hope of unlocking the support for you.

Yeah, I knew.

And we was already treating her.

I'd already done all my research into girls with autism.

After we'd finished with cams, we were very much told to make sure that we research autism in girls.

And thankfully for me, I had a really, really amazing support network because I was doing work with the.

Am I allowed to say a charity name on it?

Yes, the charity Dogs for Autism at the time.

And I'd become really, really good friends with the.

The founder of that charity, who was supporting me along the way.

But not many people have that.

And they phoned me up within 20 minutes of us leaving the hospital.

So we were very open with Isabella because Isabella had already had lots of interaction with people that were on the spectrum, lots of people that we knew, lots of people we were friends with, you know, so.

So that was quite an open world for us already, which is how I come about, because I found myself turning around and saying, oh, Isabella does that.

I mean, she autistic, but Isabella does that as well, you know, you know, to all these people.

And then as we moved on, I started going, do you think Isabella might be autistic?

Like the penny started to drop really slowly of, oh, maybe she is, you know.

And then at that point, everyone turned around and said, we've just been waiting for you to figure that out.

You know, we couldn't tell you, you needed to get to that point by yourself.

And they phoned me up after 20 minutes of us leaving the hospital.

I'd literally just walked in from the door, from the Assessment.

And they went, we ringing to tell you that, that we do believe Isabella is autistic.

She does formally now have an autism diagnosis.

How do you feel?

And I just went, oh, well, that's nothing new.

Yeah.

But then.

Then all of a sudden the report come through and you're reading all this stuff about your child from a different perspective and things that you've never even noticed in them before that they've picked up on.

And I would say that there is like a grieving process that you then go through at that point.

And.

And it's okay to go through that grieving process.

And I held off saying that for a really long time.

But we all have an ideology before we become parents of what parenthood is going to look like.

Right?

That smooth sail through child's life.

Yeah, yeah, we all have that.

And then we come up against these different barriers along the way where it.

It changes the course of our path.

And there's an element at that crossroads, what you have to go for emotionally to be able to go down that new path, at peace with it.

Yeah, yeah.

And how.

How would you.

How.

Well, obviously you had a great support network around you, but how long would you say that that process was for you?

I mean, did you bottle it up?

Did you sort of hide it and, and keep it inside for a long time and then it just sort of burst out or, or were you, like, people saying that, come on, we need to talk about this and, and get you through it as well?

I'm an open book.

Anyone that has ever worked for me, anybody that ever knows me will know that I am an open book.

So for me, I went through that process quite.

Quite Okay.

I don't.

Marcus would mind me saying this.

My husband, I think that he bottled it up a lot more than I did, and he dealt with it later than I did.

But I am an open book.

So I'd say for me, I was processing as I went, as opposed to pushing it all away and forget about that and we'll deal with that later.

Because for me, I knew that unless I went down that path myself, there was always going to be a resistance in how our parents.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like, I think maybe that's the difference between men and women, perhaps, like bottling it up or talking about it.

I think they often say that, don't they?

Like, I certainly bottled things up and then it all exploded.

But maybe I've been different if I'd.

If I chatted to people about it, who knows?

But how does the.

So that you Know, that was a long process that you had to go through to get the diagnosis.

Then obviously once diagnosis is given, then the hard work doesn't stop, does it?

It carries on and probably still carries on to today now, Even though she's 14, we've got GCSE to then start to think about and then like further education, employment and stuff like that.

It's a constant worry.

But whilst all this was going on at home, like, were you trying to run your business?

Did you have a business at the beginning, before diagnosis?

Yes, I did.

So Lover Dogs was already up and running when.

When we were going through all of this and I had Arianna in amongst all of that as well.

Yeah.

And moved houses and stuff.

So I. Yeah.

So in amongst all of this, I had another child that was pre diagnosis that I had her.

So we was unaware that Isabella was even autistic.

I think that was probably when it blew up for us because we changed her life entirely.

So all of a sudden everything became more apparent because she wasn't an only child anymore.

Yeah.

And we had the business on the go as well.

And Marcus wasn't a part of the business at that time.

So it was just me running it at that time.

And I think that I do have a little bit of a vulnerable power in me because I am such an open book that I was able to turn to people and say to people, I can't do this on my own, so this is what I need.

I'd say there was a little point where, oh, you're taking me back now, Bill.

I'd say that, yeah, there was.

I'm not going to say.

I say there was.

There was a stage where I did try and carry on and tried to push.

You've taken me back to it, which I don't even think about anymore, to be honest.

But there was a stage where I did try and push through and how long that lasted I'm not entirely sure.

But I hit a rock bottom at one point and the open book in me is going to come out now.

I jumped in the car, was on my own and I remember jumping in the car and I went down to.

I had a training field at the time and I say this smiling now because I am so far from where I was, but I went down to the training field and I remembered getting out the car and the kids were in the car and I shut the doors in on the field, knowing they were safe and went and stood in the field and just screamed.

Yeah.

And then I went to my auntie and Uncle's house and just knocked on the door in floods of tears, and they took the kids in.

And then my parent, my mum came and stayed with us while I got back on track.

And I went to doctors and went on to antidepressants at that point.

That was probably my worst.

That was my rock bottom days.

I think this is where your.

This is where your body.

And thank you for sharing that, because I think people need to hear that.

It's okay, isn't it?

It's like, yeah, it's okay to.

To deal with that and feel like that, because I think when we do bottle the things, the.

Your body will carry it for so long and then it will break you, you know?

And I had that situation where I was sitting in a coffee shop.

I was in there the other day, actually, with Emma, and we're discussing some issues around the business, and she looked up from eating her breakfast, and I was just crying.

She was like, oh, dear.

And I remember, I think we paid for the coffee and breakfast, and she sort of, like, carried, like, carried me back to the car in a way, put me in the car, put me into.

Got me home, put me to bed, and then find a doctor.

Because I think your body will only take so much stress for so long and it has to shut itself down, doesn't it?

But on top of that, you had your kids, you know, you had the kids in the car to deal, to look after and carry on.

You got to kind of like, put that shield back down.

And like you said, go and get some.

Go and get some help, and it's.

Okay to do that.

Like, I turned up, I. I turned up at my auntie and uncle's door, and they just opened the door, and there wasn't even a question.

You know, I walked through that door, they said, what's happened?

I said, life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they went, right.

And instantly they just knew, like, I am so fortunate, and I'm so grateful for the support network that I have around me.

And I think things would have been so very different for me if I didn't have that.

And that's where I know a lot of parents are.

I know that a lot of parents don't have that same support network around them that I've got.

Yeah.

Or having people that know and understand the conditions and the behaviors and the, you know, what it feels like to sit down at night once you've got that child into bed, and then, like, the worries and the stress that all pours out afterwards sort of thing.

So, yeah, if your Child goes to sleep.

Well, that's it.

Yeah, yeah.

So I mean I would describe you, I suppose it's very, a very ambitious person.

You know, you don't, you don't run a dog training business and then like build a kennels and build an empire is a bit of an empire, isn't it, that you've got, you got, you're an ambitious person.

But there, there again is a rub, isn't there?

Because, you know, and we were actually talking about this on a, on a client coaching call a few weeks ago where we were talking about the differences or the how torn you are as a business owner and a mother and a parent, you know, and especially mothers that have just one of the clients had just had a baby and she was really like, I need to go back to work.

I want to go back to work.

But then I want to look after my child.

And that, you know, how torn you are as a person and you are an ambitious person.

And then like you said, you've got a child to look after but then you've got a child with extra, extra needs as well.

Yeah, yeah.

I, I think that for me, I've always been.

And I the, you know, if I was going to give any advice to anybody that wants to be a business owner and he's also a parent and he's struggling as stem parent as well.

I know that they say don't overlap your business and your home life.

My business is built because of my home life.

Like I need, in order to be able to work, I need flexibility because if my children need me, I need to be able to be there.

And that is a non negotiable for me.

When I went back to work, I was initially trained.

I'm actually my, my background is in childcare way back when and when I had Isabella, my oldest and it was time for me to go back to work.

I remember standing and looking at Marcus and going, I can't.

And he went, you can't what?

I said, I can't look after other people's kids while someone else brings mine up.

Yeah, I can't do it.

And I know people can and that's absolutely fine and amazing and.

But I just couldn't do it.

So everything that I've built since then has been revolved around this idea that I want to see my children grow up.

I watched children with parents that were in corporate jobs being dropped off the Breakfast Club and then being picked up at that tea time in the nurseries I worked in and they'd go home and they'd go to bed and it would all start again tomorrow.

And I used it.

My heart used to go out to those parents that that was what they had to do and that was the reality of their life, and they had to do it.

But for them, there was.

That was their reality.

Right.

But that was just never what I wanted.

So my two worlds have crossed.

Ariana, my youngest, when I went back to work, she was five.

I don't recommend this to anybody, by the way, but I just couldn't do it.

So she was five weeks old in a baby carrier down at the training field.

Training dogs with me in a baby carrier.

Yeah.

I'm sure there'll be dog groomers listening, like, resonating with that, you know, taking the.

Taking their little one to work and, you know, put them in the push chair, the pram in the corner, or strapping them and getting on with the dogs, you know.

And you know what?

I always.

I used to turn around and laugh with clients and say, if you want one to one on that date, that's absolutely fine, I can do that.

But I will come with the baby and he.

She will be strapped to me.

And they just laugh, often say, that's absolutely fine.

So they all turned up fully expecting her to be there.

No one ever had an issue.

And as she got older, it became hilarious because she got bigger.

So she, I'm only tiny.

I'm five foot nothing.

So she started to feel more and more of me and I started having to peek around her head to look at what the dogs were doing.

Or her best one was she used to throw a head back like this and go, oh, yeah, to the clients, which just added a little bit of.

It made them laugh, it made people relax, it made them go, do you know what?

And the clients that I attracted were the clients that were all for it, and the ones that weren't went somewhere else.

That worked for them, and that was absolutely, absolutely fine.

And as she got older and she started toddling around, she'd come down and she'd be digging in the mud somewhere or playing in a puddle somewhere while I cracked on.

And it just.

It just worked.

And now we live where we work, so the kids come down to the kennels with us and they get involved with the dogs.

And so you've purposely built your businesses around your children, or have you subconsciously built them around your children?

And that's just how that's kind of worked out.

I feel like you've purposely gone, I've.

Purposely built it I would say that I've done that very consciously.

Yeah.

I've made clients very aware that this is how the business runs and there are children here and they are my life and this is my business and that is why it is done the way that it's done.

And I know that that won't suit everybody, but because I've done that, what I've also managed to do is if something happens with one of the children, they are as invested in my children as I am most of them.

So I'll ring them up and say, look, this has happened, I've got to cancel.

And they go, no worries, we'll rebook.

See you soon.

Yeah, yeah.

So obviously the practical side of like the dog training is a practical job, you know, and that, but when you run a business, there's lots of other jobs behind the scenes.

Like, how are you finding your coping with all the administration and, you know, running your business behind the scenes as well as outsource.

Outsource, Outsource.

If you don't like doing it, hey, somebody else.

So I don't answer phone calls, I don't take bookings, I don't sort out the payments.

I know my accounts, I know my banking, I know all about side of it, but I don't chase the payments.

I work from up here and I outsource down here and if I don't like doing it, someone else is doing it for me.

Just.

I know people resist it and I did for a really long time.

But I don't deal with.

I'm laughing at myself now because I don't deal with complaints, I don't deal with emails, I don't deal with bookings, inquiries.

They all get sourced down to me when the time is right.

And is that when you have you outsourced to team members, like staff members, or have you outsourced to like other companies to do that for you?

So I have a. I have the wonderful Lynn, who will absolutely love a little shout out right now, who, who does all of this stuff for me.

And she is an employee and she doesn't work on it.

She comes over to the kennels to see what it's like physically.

But she works from home and, and does it all for us.

Yeah, that's the beauty of it, isn't it?

I mean, when we, when we had our grooming salon, we had a receptionist, Kim.

Kim and Lynn.

Kim.

But when, even when she was not feeling great, you know, we could transfer the phone to her house and the, the booking system could be accessed Online.

So, yeah, it's like remote working.

Can work on it.

Yes.

The more.

The more systems that you put into place, the easier your life is.

And I know, as I say, I know there's resistance around it, but I.

My business is built on systems now, I think when I look at it.

I did actually do a podcast yesterday with Mariana Page.

I don't know if you've read her book Simple, Logical and Repeatable.

And that's all about systems and processes, so.

No, I haven't.

You have to keep.

Yeah, keep an eye out for that one.

So we started the podcast talking about self development as well.

And.

And how, I suppose self development has really helped you to get over the trauma.

Maybe.

Is that the best way to sort of describe it?

The trauma of what's gone on, like.

Or the, like you said, the grieving process and stuff like that.

I've done a lot of self development, but I've also done a lot of therapy.

I love a bit of therapy, me.

I think everyone should have therapy.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, I think the.

The people in the States, I think, quite often have like their therapist and they.

We see that on telly and stuff, but in the uk, it's not, It's.

It's probably more talked about now, isn't it?

But it's not as widely talked about.

People think that you have to have something wrong to need therapy.

You don't.

We all need therapy.

All it does is gives you a much better understanding of yourself and your thought is what it does.

And.

Yeah, and.

And that is where you're at.

Like, that level of self awareness is something else.

It is so empowering to know who you are and understand what triggers you and understand why it triggers you.

And I've.

There's so many different types of therapy out there.

For me, I didn't do talking therapy.

I ended up down a route of.

So it was actually in Robin's.

In the Fearless business coaching that we had Kate, when I.

Did you ever meet Kate?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's Kate's mindset course that opened my world up to the idea of therapy.

And then tell us about that.

I mean, what.

What did you.

What was she doing that was like making you think?

Actually a bit like when you're.

When you're thinking about Isabella and like you're hearing these symptoms of autism and you're like, oh, yeah, take that tick that Kate was obviously talking about therapy and how that could help you and.

You're like, yeah, no, I asked, I asked a lot of questions.

On those mindset calls, in those, in those Wednesday coaching calls, I asked a lot of questions in the mindset calls specifically.

And it was more my mindset than it was the actual business that I needed to look at.

And I became aware of that very, very quickly because I found myself drawn to making time for the mindset calls.

Sorry, Robin.

But more then the coat, the actual strategy calls at that point in time.

Yeah.

Because I needed to work on that before I could even look at the strategy.

I think this ties in, though.

Sorry.

I think this ties in with what we were saying at the beginning.

Like your personal life bleeds into your business life and your business bleeds into your personal.

So yeah, you can't, you couldn't deal with the strategy around your business until you sorted out your, your mindset.

Yeah.

But you.

I think I started before you with Robin.

You did, yeah.

So those first few calls and again, I'm going to be very vulnerable.

I think I cried every call.

Like I would come on and I remember sitting there and it was nearly my turn to talk and it'd be like, Danielle, we're going to come to you in my heart be like.

And I'm like, oh my goodness, I can't talk.

And as soon as I unmuted, I just burst into tears.

And we laugh about it now because that was, I think probably me for the first month.

And my business was a mess.

Like it was an absolute mess when I started with Robin.

And I remember one of my first wins and it ties into that whole business and family coming in again.

But one of my first ever wins with Robin was I took my kids to Asda and I let them try on some clothes and I let them pick an outfit, each brand new, like just as the living, like.

And I remember being so emotional on that call because I earned enough money that I could take my kids to Asda and they could try on some clothes.

You know, no big designer shop, but they didn't have the hand me downs from my sister.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a big win, isn't it?

Huge for me at the time.

I mean, I've been with Robin for quite a long time now.

But that for me at the time was massive.

Yeah,.

Yeah.

So.

And I think Kate opened the doors then to me looking more into mindset, which then opened the doors to me kind of.

I almost developed.

So I'm probably.

And I say this, I've done a screening for it.

So I'm not self diagnosing.

I am a little bit.

Okay.

So I've Done a screening for ADHD for myself, and it suggests that I should probably go for an assessment, which I have no intention of booking, but it tells me a lot I need to know about myself.

And now I can't remember why I just told you that.

I was gonna ask you, like, was Kate, like, the mindset coach Kate on Robin's program?

Was.

Does she introduce you to the thoughts of therapy?

Had you ever thought about this?

Had it ever been sort of mentioned to you before, discussed at all?

So she kind of, like, brought that to your.

That's what I was gonna say.

That's where I was going.

Sorry.

I went around the houses and didn't get to the end.

So she opened up the doors to mindset, and then mindset became a massive special interest of mine.

So then I ended up veering off and following all the top guru gurus in mindset, which then opened the idea to all the therapy.

And I was like, it's all right.

You know, let's just.

Yeah, let's just book someone.

Let's just see what happens.

And hypnotherapy was the first one that I ended up booking into from a therapist, and that's been my love ever since.

Since.

Oh, okay.

So I've done.

I've done talking therapy, and I've done EMDR as well for trauma.

Tell us about hypnotherapy, then.

And how did that help?

Help?

Because obviously, I know talking therapy is obviously talking through all your, you know, what's going on, how you're feeling and what comes up for you and stuff like that.

But how.

How does that differ from hypnotherapy?

So hypnotherapy, you don't have to open those.

Those boxes.

So hypnotherapy is about connecting with the subconscious mind and then breaking the patterns of behavior from that point.

Okay.

But I loved meditation anyway, so hypnotherapy kind of felt like just a deeper version of meditation for me.

And so much just suddenly pops into your head where you go, oh, that's interesting.

And then you can go from there.

Talking therapy for me, you can imagine I go around the houses and never get to the point.

A lot of hours.

A lot of hours just chatting.

But that could be nice if we don't do enough talking, do we?

I remember I have had some hypnotherapy, and I thought it was.

I felt it was quite weird because at points I couldn't move, if that makes sense.

You like.

I was like, you know, So I suppose quite Deep, but also a bit aware of what's going on.

And it was like,.

Okay, so.

So hypnotherapy, you are always in control.

Okay.

It doesn't.

Regardless of what you think, you.

You are always in control.

So with hypnotherapy, you will only ever disclose what you're willing to disclose.

And that's the beauty of.

So I've qualified as a hypnotherapist now.

And.

And the beauty of working is that you don't even have to disclose the problem to the therapist in order for the therapist to be able to work on the problem.

So it is just a deep state of relaxation.

And if you're not used to relaxing, it might be that you just needed easing in a little bit gentler because your body's gone into a state of relaxation and your brain's gone.

What?

Yeah.

Why is this don't feel right.

I don't like this.

Yeah.

How long.

How long is like an average session?

How long does it last?

For around an hour and a half.

Ish.

Depending on the client.

We always work with what comes up.

So it depends on the client.

So you.

So you know, this is what I mean about being ambitious and busy.

You know, you're running your dog, your dog training business.

You then got your kennels and then you went off to become retrain in hypnotherapy.

Yeah, why not?

So I want you to understand more about it.

I think that's why I did the course in the first place.

I wanted to understand more about the nervous system because I wanted to help his mama.

And I would always say she is the reason.

She is the reason that I now am a qualified hypnotherapist.

After I qualified, I wasn't even convinced that I was going to do anything with it.

And then recently we've been talking about.

I've been talking to other send parents and I've been recognizing that the way that I felt when I felt that there wasn't any support back at the beginning is common ground.

Not a lot of change.

Not much has changed by the sounds of it.

No, not at all.

So you're gonna, you're gonna take your knowledge and, you know, your, Your knowledge as a send parent, your knowledge of business, your knowledge of hypnotherapy and your training, and you're going to turn it into something for good.

You know, do.

Do give back to the.

Give back to the.

To the send world, I suppose, in a way.

And you've come up with the send parent.

Yeah, the Send Parent Empowerment Program.

So tell us about that.

So the Send Parent Empowerment Program, we've already started our first cohort.

We're halfway through, and it is so beautiful, it's unreal.

So what that is, is we've created a safe space for send parents where they can just offload.

We've literally got a space within the community that's called offload.

Okay.

And as they.

Just get it all off your chair.

Yeah, just get it all off your chest.

Whatever, however that comes out, whatever it needs to be, get it off your chest.

We then work through a program that takes you through not suppressing anymore, not suppressing all the emotions so that you can take some power back for you, so that you can be your child's best advocate.

Okay.

And it's such a mix of parents that we've got in there.

We've got different levels of experience in there.

We've got parents on different stages.

Some of them are literally just gone through the diagnosis process.

They're going through that first grieving stage.

Some of them have been some parents for years, and they've got a second child that's now been diagnosed.

You know, there's such a broad spectrum of parents in there, but some parents, the biggest, the biggest, biggest, biggest thing that they don't do is take care of themselves because we put it all into our kids.

And that's, that's devastating that there's nowhere that they can just go and take care of themselves.

And because of that, I'm doing it on a pay as you can basis.

Yeah.

This is the first time that I've, I've heard of this concept, and I remember you talking about it in the, in the, the coaching group that we're in.

So tell us about that pay as you can process.

What does that mean?

It's a minimum of five pounds, and it is paid what you can afford.

Hey, what you think you've.

What feels good to you, what you can afford, you know, and it doesn't.

It doesn't minimize your support.

It doesn't.

It is.

I want it to be as accessible as possible to parents.

And I think that the course could be.

The program could be worth whatever the program's worth.

But we are just explaining the fact that some parents don't put time into themselves.

So I feel like when.

When some parents are buying anything for them, they're not doing it on what the program's worth, they're doing it on what they feel they're worth.

Yeah.

And I think, you know, we've explored as well, like I, I've experienced this with clients that have had, you know, their kids have been diagnosed and some of them have been forced to give up work to look after their children to.

Because the child won't go to school.

So they're having to home educate and everything like that.

So like you said, you want that support to be out there, but you want it to be affordable and accessible to, to as many people as possible.

Absolutely.

A million percent.

And you've just hit the nail on the head.

The amount of parents that have to give up work because they're forced to, because the needs of their child are too great for them to be able to work at the same time to look after their children.

So what does the program look like?

Like, what if I was to come into your program?

Is it like weekly calls or a support group?

How does, how does it work for this cohort?

We've had the community and WhatsApp and then there is a course that's been built within our community hub that you can re access.

So it's six weeks.

Okay.

And you can re access those at any point.

We look at general mindset shifting.

Okay.

So it's based basically around mindset and hypnotherapy.

But we only do gentle hypnotherapy in case anybody goes, no, I can't handle that.

That's okay.

Don't worry, don't wor.

Okay, so yeah, you come in, you've got the safe space within the WhatsApp community.

You've got the course content that you can relook at over and over and over again.

And at the moment we're doing it as well with access to weekly calls as well.

I, I'm going to be completely honest.

I don't know whether the weekly calls are going to stay on pay as you can just simply because I don't know if there's enough of me.

Yeah.

To stay on page.

You can for the weekly calls, but you will have access to me on that and get access to everything else as well.

So, you know, you support the community, but then at some point the community starts to support itself as well, doesn't it?

You know, you can reach out and the community then starts to help help you.

That's already happening.

That's already happening within the community.

So.

And I'm not going to go too much into it just because it is very personal to my clients.

So I'm not going to delve too much into it.

But there's some work going on behind the scenes with all the community coming together at the moment where we're putting together, and I can say this because this is generic, but we're putting together like a buzzword document of words like that will get the school's attention or words that will get professionals attention in order to help with the fight for our children so that we are getting the needs met.

And there are certain words within, within that, that if you use them then the school will go, oh, or whoever it is, whatever professional will go, oh, they know their stuff so therefore I must act.

So we're looking at that and we're looking at helping, drafting some emails and stuff to help just empower parents to be able to fight for their kids without being at detriment of themselves.

Yeah, because knowledge is power, isn't it?

And if you've got a parent that's just gone through a particular issue with a school or getting funding or getting assessment and they found a particular way worked or you know, that knowledge can help you to then on your own journey, can't it?

Absolutely.

Million percent.

Yeah.

So it's a six week, six week program where they work.

Is it sort of self paced, self taught or do you run that cohort through it?

No.

Yeah, so we'll walk you through it.

So each week I give you like a little 15 minute thing to try and complete throughout, throughout the week.

So it is literally just trying to find 15 minutes for yourself throughout the week.

And that 15 minutes doesn't even have to be in one lump sum.

It might be two minutes every day throughout the week just to make it achievable and start getting parents finding time to look after themselves again.

Do you, do you find people come up as that, do you find that as an excuse at times?

I don't really want to use the word excuse but you know, do you hear that a lot?

I don't have time to do that or I don't have time to dedicate to that.

Do you find that come up quite a bit for them or.

Yeah, I'm not going to use the word excuse for that either, Bill.

I'm going to give you a little bit of a slack.

Yeah, I said it and I was like, no, that's not really the right, that's not really the right word, is it?

You know, maybe some people on the outside look at it as an excuse but actually when you're in, in, in the, in the trenches, you know, it's how you feel, isn't it?

Yeah.

And we've been conditioned and I am going to use up word we have been conditioned to call our children first.

We have been conditioned, which of course we need to put our children first.

But you cannot advocate for your children if you are pouring from an empty cup.

So it is important that you are okay.

You have to be okay in order to advocate for them.

And it goes back to a self worth thing.

Right.

We don't believe that we deserve to have 15 minutes a day to put aside for ourselves.

Or we don't believe.

So if we start that with two minutes before you get out of bed in the morning, that feels somewhat achievable.

Okay, before I even move.

Two minutes, let's go.

Yeah, yeah.

Non conditional.

Put it in your diary kind of thing.

Yeah, absolutely.

So that's what we're starting to do.

So as you go through that six weeks, all of a sudden you start going, well, I thought about me a little bit more today.

I recognize this in myself today.

And then this was what I did about it.

And the beauty of community.

And I know this because this works with my own community, with the pet groomers is when they start seeing other people doing it and they start to understand that, you know, everyone, everyone feels the same in the community or similar.

But you know, if they could do it, I can do it and they can inspire me to do it or maybe they can do it together sort of thing.

100 And some of this stuff is like second stuff.

Like one of the things that I've put into place for myself since I started doing this because we all.

As you go through your program, you do, you can't help it, you start going, oh yeah, I've neglected that a little bit myself.

So I'm going to start doing that is a cold water splash first thing in the morning just to get my nervous system straight up, just over my face, just oh, okay, on my face.

Not a cold water shower.

I do like a cold water shower though, but that's for another day.

But just splashing my face with cold water just to wake myself up and give my system a little bit of a reset and then be ready to start my day.

And it doesn't actually take more than five seconds in order for me to do it.

But it makes such a difference.

I can tell when I haven't.

Yeah.

I mean to be honest, the program that you're describing will probably help everyone and anyone to be fair.

But you're just at the moment focusing on send parents because obviously that's your, your sort of background and that's who you want to be helping with.

It sounds like we all could do with it.

Yeah, it could definitely be adapted.

Put it that way, could definitely be adapted later, but that's for another day.

And how long has this been going on for?

When was the first cohort rolled out?

We're halfway through.

Halfway through the first cohort now.

We've just done our week three.

There's been some amazing changes in people.

There's been some real.

And it doesn't just.

Once we start this, it doesn't just correlate to being a parent.

It is life.

Life is trickling through for these people, and they're uncovering things that they never even realized was showing up for them every single day and affecting their patterns of behavior.

And at the end of the six weeks, like, if things are starting to come up for them, have you got.

Is there a way that you sort of move them on to therapists or.

Therapy or been announced yet?

Okay.

That's not secret until my guys that are in the cohort now know about it.

That's not being shared publicly, I'm afraid.

Okay.

But you're not going to be left high and dry, put it that way.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

You know, because it can.

You know, it can.

I'm very aware of this.

You know, coaching can bring up just coaching in general, like, asking people questions and asking, like, the whys and the, you know, why do you want to do that?

Or, you know, like you said, like, parents struggle to make time for themselves.

I think business owners often struggle to put themselves first.

I speak to a lot of business owners that say, well, I always pay my staff and then I pay me kind of thing.

So business owners are the same.

And when you start asking those pointy questions like why and what'd you do it for and stuff like that, it can open up quite a lot of emotion, can't it?

And feelings.

Our behaviors are linked to patterns.

Right.

So, you know, it's.

It's stuff that we've seen and heard and been told along the way that all.

All ends up becoming a subconscious story that our body becomes familiar with and goes, don't worry.

Got this.

I'll keep you safe.

Yeah.

And we just go round and round in circles in those patterns then.

So it's breaking those patterns of behavior.

Yeah, yeah.

So when are you looking for your next sort of cohort?

Are you currently looking for the next.

The next bunch?

There is a waiting list.

There is a waiting list.

If you go over to.

Can I plug.

Yeah, of course you can.

Yeah.

You go over to DG hypnotherapy.co.uk then the program is the landing page on there and there's a waitlist button on there if anybody wanted to join the wait list.

And I will be giving myself just a little break after this one because we've got birthdays and anniversaries and everything else in April, so it was planned so that we'd finished it before we hit all of that time of year.

So the next one, the date, will be out with us soon.

I haven't put it in my diary yet, but it will be with us soon.

And do you limit the numbers that go through each cohort?

We've got seven in this one.

I am playing with numbers at the moment.

It's never going to be overcrowded because I want to make sure that it maintains that safe space.

I'm probably thinking around 10 would be the maximum.

As you can see, it is still quite new.

I can openly say that.

So we are still playing and making sure that it is delivering what the parents need.

But at the moment, my head is feeling around 10.

If there's someone listening to this, thinking, or, you know, I'll say, like, who?

Who?

We know that you're working with.

Send parents.

But if someone's listening to this and thinking, oh, I'd like to do that, but I'm a bit.

Or I'm not sure about it.

Is there a way to go and read more?

Obviously.

Is there stuff on the landing page?

Can they get in touch with you?

Can they talk it through with you?

Yeah.

So again, if you go over to DG hypnotherapy.co.uk there is a breakdown of everything on that page and then you can contact me on there as well.

So you can get straight in touch with me, we can book a call, you can have a chat and we could just put you at ease.

Yeah, yeah.

A long chat probably as well.

All right.

I own it.

What can I say?

That's it.

Why not?

Why not?

I think it's.

I think it's a great idea and I love.

I love the way that, you know, and I think we were talking about this again on a coaching call a while ago about how people, you know, want education, they want that knowledge, they.

They crave what other people know and that you don't know what you don't know.

But someone else has gone through that, hasn't it?

That's why books are so popular, because, you know, you're.

You're digesting other people's knowledge and, and what they've been through, so why not?

It's just feels like a.

Such a natural progression for you to have gone through all this and still going through all this as well with.

With your kids.

But passing that knowledge on is great.

It's somewhere as well that we get to have a really good chuckle at some of the things that.

That they come out with as well.

And you know, is.

It is.

It's a cool space.

Yeah, yeah.

All of.

There's probably a book in there as well, isn't it?

So it's funny you say, oh God, no, I don't know where I go down a whole story again, Bill.

I don't know if this is where I just end it.

Well, maybe it's a part two.

Yeah.

This might be a story for another day, but we talk about subconscious beliefs and let's just say that there's a whole one that came up for me about writing a book that I'm working through now.

Needs to do with what you just said about.

It would be a long one.

Yeah, yeah, maybe a few volumes.

Well, you know, thank you for coming along and sharing your story and I'm sure I know there'll be people I know I've got clients in my space that you know, have been going through or going through exactly the same sort of experience that you are.

And they are really like struggling to balance that business, family, mum, school, legal counsel, like all of those.

All of those big battles that they're having to have like, and is so many place to spin.

And I.

As you know, at some point, if you don't give in, something will break.

So hopefully this, this platform, the Send Parent Empowerment program, gives them a platform to share their experiences and get support to stop that.

Stop them from breaking and being able to carry on.

Yeah.

And if you do resonate with any list, I just want you to know that you're not on your own.

Yeah, but there's a whole heap of us out there now.

You're.

You're also on Tick Tock.

What's your Tick Tock handle?

Can you remember question?

I'll have to look it up.

Yeah.

Tell us your.

Tell us your Facebook page.

Danielle Gardner on Facebook.

You got me on there.

What's your sort of profile picture like so people can find you?

Me.

It's just you, is it?

Yeah, it's me and my husband standing behind a water fountain.

We're not standing behind it, we're standing in front of it.

I think we'll be mutual friends anyway if people are trying.

Yeah, we'll be mutual friends.

I should have thought about my tick tock handle.

I think it's Daniel underscore rural underscore life.

Okay.

Well, they can have a look through that.

Find it, I think.

But yeah, but people are welcome to friend request you and.

And drop you a message.

Million.

Yeah.

However you find me, contact me.

Yeah.

Brilliant.

Any more little spouse, then find love of dogs.

Yeah.

And you'll find me on there.

Excellent.

Or.

Or contact me and I can point them in the right direction.

Yeah.

There's a million ways you can get old.

Yeah.

Well, thank you very much for coming on and sharing your journey.

Hopefully people have listened to this and can see that there's some support out there for them.

But go and take it.

Go and take the opportunity.

Is pay what you can remember.

So don't think there's a.

There's a cost barrier there.

The.

It's just get involved and start opening up.

It's hard, but that's what Danielle's here for is to help you, help you move forwards.

And just really quickly about Bill, because I can't stop talking that pay as you can.

There is no.

And I'm putting this out there because of feedback that I had from people where they didn't join because they were scared that they wasn't paying enough.

There is no not paying enough, guys.

There's no not paying enough.

Whatever you can do, I am grateful for.

And there is no not paying enough.

So even if you pay a fiver, I don't care.

Yeah.

It's.

It's all about the support, isn't it?

It's about the support.

Yeah.

And there's other ways to pay as well, like being part of that community, offering help and support to others.

It's just, you know, that's just as valuable as well, isn't it, to you when.

When.

When running a community like that?

Yeah.

It's just.

I just want to provide the support.

Yeah.

Excellent.

Thank you very much.

And maybe catch up in a, you know, maybe a year and just see how it's all going.

No worries.

Thank you so much, Bill, for having me.

I appreciate you.

Take care.

Thank you.

Bye.

I hope you have enjoyed this podcast.

Please make sure you give us a like or a review to help people find it.

But podcast is sponsored by Low Pay.

Head over to www.loay.com to find out more about their payment soldier.