In part two of this series from Matthew 19, we move from God’s design for marriage into the hard questions many are afraid to ask—about divorce, remarriage, broken vows, and life as a single believer. With grace and an open Bible, we look at what Jesus actually said, where Scripture offers real hope, and how the gospel speaks to every season—married, divorced, or single.

This episode isn’t about shame, but about clarity, healing, and learning to

reflect Christ right where you are.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

FORTIFYING YOUR FAMILY: https://fortifying-your-family.captivate.fm/listen

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

God designed marriage.

Number one, his design for marriage does not change.

God's design for marriage.

Number two is for persons of the opposite sex.

Number three, God designed marriage for lifelong companionship between a man and woman.

Number four, God designed marriage as the highest earthly relationship.

Number five, God designed marriage to be a covenant.

And number six, God designed marriage to be a one flesh gospel reenactment.

That's a lot in those verses if you just casually read over them that you would not see so important after laying this foundation concerning marriage.

Jesus, I remind you, he said, have you not heard?

Don't you remember what God made marriage to be?

Jesus moves on to answer their question in verse three about divorce.

So let me just take a minute here because I think this is so important.

I told Debbie coming in rode day, I said, I don't know.

I've ever heard any preacher preach on divorce in a church except me here myself.

They're scared of it.

They're gonna offend somebody.

I hope I don't offend you.

I'm just trying to give you the word of God.

I want to just give you what the word of God says.

Is it lawful?

Verse 3.

Go back there.

Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

The Pharisees are essentially asking, is no fault divorce okay?

Since then, what has followed has been catastrophic for marriage.

And Maggie Gallagher's book titled in no Fault Divorce, she says this.

The spouses who leaves learns that love dies.

The spouse who is left learns that love betrays and that the courts and society side with betrayers.

In court, your marriage commitment means nothing.

The only rule is whoever wants out wins.

By gutting the marital contract, no fault divorce has transformed what it means to get married.

No fault divorce thus demotes marriage from a binding relationship or covenant and into something best described as cohabitation with insurance benefits.

No fault is something of a misnomer.

A more accurate term would be unilateral divorce.

On demand.

And unfortunately, folks, that's where we are in America and have been for many, many years.

And as I've often stated, divorce has become a cancer whose tentacles reach out and touch every one of us.

That is, whether or not you've personally been through divorce, you know someone who has.

It could be a mom or dad, be a sister, brother, son or daughter.

It touches us all.

Denny Burke states, there may be no greater blight on the testimony of Christianity in our culture than the church's near total capitulation to the divorce culture.

No greater blight.

Let me pause and say, understand it's so important I think about this.

I'm not here to judge anybody, okay?

And understand when I go to church and I preach something like this, that statistically half the people in the church have been divorced or remarried.

I understand that.

And I'm not here this morning again to judge you because as we'll see, there are biblical allowances for divorce.

But I'm here to help you understand exactly what the Bible says about divorce or remarriage.

And I think for some of you, it's going to be very encouraging and it'll help you if you.

And we certainly need to know, in a culture that today has no fault, divorce and divorce is just like turning a page onto a new leaf in your life, what the Bible says.

Therefore, I hope you'll be encouraged by what I'm sharing with you.

So how does Jesus answer that question?

Verse 6.

Wherefore there are no more two or twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Now you might circle that little word.

Those words put asunder, that's very important to understand.

The word asunder there literally means to cut off.

To put asunder pictures a cutting off or an amputating of a limb, like a limb of your body.

It's like cutting off your leg.

It's like cutting off your arm.

Jesus is saying that if we really understand the foundational truths that I've shared about marriage, what I've tried to go over here with you this morning, this is, then you'll understand that when someone gets a divorce, it's not like casually taking off your clothes.

Divorce is more like cutting off your arm.

It's more like cutting off your leg.

That's why John MacArthur says abortion is to childbirth what divorce is to marriage.

Just as abortion kills a creation of God, so does divorce.

Remember what I said a while ago?

It's a miracle of God when two become one.

It's a creation of God.

That's why he says that.

And no wonder in Malachi chapter two, that God says he hates it.

He hates divorce.

Knowing that God hates divorce and made marriage to be permanent, the Pharisees try to justify divorce by asking the question in verse seven, why did Moses then command to give a writing a divorceman and put her away a divorce Her?

The Pharisees are referring back to Deuteronomy chapter 24 and verse 1.

But in Deuteronomy chapter 24 and verse one, it's important to understand if ain't going to take time to read that this morning, that Moses never commanded a bill of divorcement.

Listen, Satan is a liar and he's always trying to twist the word of God.

That's what the Pharisees are trying to do right here with Jesus.

Moses was actually making a statement in Deuteronomy 24 to eliminate the practice of easy divorce.

Or as we would call it, I'm calling it here today, no fault divorce and remarriage that was so prevalent in his day.

God never listen church God never commands it or never commends divorce.

But as we will see, he does permit it and have some allowances for it in certain situations.

Notice how Jesus answers in verse 8.

He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart suffered you to put your wives away or to divorce them.

But from the beginning, notice what he says.

Again, go back to the beginning.

But from the beginning it was not so.

Jesus says that God designed marriage to be a permanent covenant of companionship between a man and a woman.

But because of their hardened hearts, because of their sin, he had allowed it.

But from the beginning, it was never intended to be that way.

But just like in drastic cases, amputation is required.

That is, sometimes if you get gangrene in your leg, you can come to a choice where you're either going to cut your leg off or eat to or either you're going to die.

And in some cases you may have to cut that leg off.

In some cases you might have to amputate that leg or amputate that arm, because if you don't, the rest of your body will die.

And in the same way that word put asunder is saying that that amputation.

There are times, there are instances when amputation is required to save the person.

Jesus lists one of these times in verse nine.

Look at verse nine.

I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except to be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put is put away, or divorced, commits adultery.

The word fornication in this verse is the Greek word perneia, which refers to a broad range of sexual sins, including homosexuality, bestiality, and specifically that of adultery.

So Jesus says, where there's a biblical allowance for divorce, that of fornication or sexual sin, then the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry.

So Jesus says that one allowance for divorce is fornication, which includes adultery.

Now, hold on, don't go too fast ahead of me.

But we also see in First Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 15, Paul gives another biblical allowance for divorce and remarriage.

Look at First Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 15.

And Paul says, but if the unbelieving spouse departs, let him depart.

A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God have called us to peace.

Now, what's the situation he's talking about there?

In First Corinthians 7, Paul's saying, these, these couples who were lost did not believe in Jesus Christ.

One of them gets saved.

So you've got a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse.

They're not on the same center as I described a while ago.

So the unbelieving spouse wants to go out and drink and party all the time.

But now that the believing spouse loves Jesus and wants to live a holy life, they don't want to go out and party with them anymore.

So it says, listen, you don't make them leave, but if they desire to leave and they leave you or depart, then you're free.

So Paul gives us, or says, when there's desertion of an unbelieving spouse for from a believing spouse, then that innocent spouse is free to divorce and remarry.

Even though divorce is a very controversial subject and it is.

Most trusted theologians and I've studied this much agree that these are the two biblical allowances for divorce and remarriage.

But you may be here, and I want to address this because you may be here and say, yeah, preacher, but I know somebody who's married to somebody, a man, and he abuses his wife all the time.

Does he have a reason for divorce?

You know, and oh, I know this situation.

I know this situation, you know, and I'm, I'm so, so thankful for Wayne Grudem, who is really a contemporary theologian today, and he's highly respected.

Why I now believe there are more than two.

And in his study of First Corinthians 7:15, which you still have looking at right there.

He makes a very good case for the words in such cases.

He said they should be understood to include any case that similarly destroys a marriage.

In such cases he states that abuse is in some ways more harmful than desertion because abuse includes repeated demonstrations of actual malice, not simply indifference.

Abuse is actively and repeatedly malevolent.

He concludes that other specific kinds of behavior that in such cases might be so severe that they would belong in this category of in such cases in verse 15 because they have similarly destructive effects in marriage could include extreme prolonged verbal and relational cruelty that is destroying the spouse mental and emotional stability.

In cases of mental and emotional abuse, credible threats of physical harm such as murder or threats to children Incorrigible when you say incorrigible, that means without it looking like it can be corrected.

Drug or alcohol addiction accompanied by regular lies, deceptions, thefts and or violence.

Incorrigible gambling addiction that's led to massive overwhelming deadliness.

Pornography addiction would also fit here, but it would also be included under the meaning of fornication.

I just mentioned that Jesus said in chapter nine and verse nine.

Taken together then, the exceptions given by Jesus and Paul were divorces permissible for fornication and desertion, and in some cases spousal abuse as I've described.

Now, I need to give you a couple qualifications before we leave this, okay, but let me pause and add several thoughts.

Number one, as a Christian, our inquiry about divorce or remarriage should not end with a thought of what is allowed.

And I could just echo that.

Rather, the most important question is how can I save my marriage?

How can I reconcile my marriage and glorify God in my marriage?

That should be a last resort, not the first thing you jump on.

For this reason, even when there's infidelity or desertion or abuse, believers should make every effort at reconciliation with their spouse, even if it takes a year or two to do that.

Unless we be filled up with pride, we must not forget that the church Listen church you and I do, you know we're a bride, all of us, you know we're a bride of Christ.

And I want to tell you we are pretty bad bride a lot of the time.

Now I want to tell you also and remind you that a lot of days we have spirit committed spiritual adultery with the world, right?

But I want to tell you Jesus said I'll never leave you and I'll never forsake you.

I'll always love you so don't get.

So we can't get too puffed up in thinking, okay, we're, you know, that's what it says about a wife or that's what it says about a husband.

We are a wife.

We are a bride of Christ.

Let me say number two, you should never be so self righteous.

Now look at.

Listen.

Never should be so self righteous that you look down your nose at somebody who's been through a divorce.

Listen to Jeremiah 3.

8, where God calls himself a divorced person.

And I saw when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery, I had.

This is God speaking.

Put her away and given her a bill of divorcement.

God gave Israel a bill of divorcement for her adultery.

So if you want to look down your nose at someone who's been through a divorce and you don't want to have anything to do with them, then maybe you need to look down your nose at God.

Because God himself divorced Israel because of adultery.

He remarried them, but he did divorce them.

And then the third thing is this.

What about someone who's unbiblically divorced?

Will God ever forgive them?

I just want to give you an illustration.

Listen, an unbiblical divorce is not the unforgivable sin many think it is.

I want you to think back to somebody you all know well about King David.

He committed what?

Adultery.

He also did what?

He committed murder.

He committed adultery.

He committed murder.

We would never have him stand up here and preach in your pulpit.

I mean, goodness gracious, but the story doesn't end there.

Go to Psalm 51.

And we see that he confessed his sin and repented of it.

There were consequences in David's family because of his sin, but God also cleansed his heart, cleansed his marriage and blessed it.

Where out of Solomon's lineage came Jesus Christ.

God delights in taking ashes and making something beautiful out of it.

We can look at the prostitute, Rahab.

He mentions all these sinners.

I would never have done that if I was God.

I'm not gonna mention all these people that messed up.

He said, I'm not just gonna mention them.

I'm gonna let you know Jesus Christ came through that line.

Wow, wow, I hope this helps.

Look at how the disciples respond to Jesus teaching.

In verse 10, his disciples said unto him, the case of a man be so with a wife, it's not good to marry.

Disciples are saying, wow, Jesus, if this is what marriage entails, then it's better to just stay single.

I'm not getting married.

They got to go through all that.

Why should people even mess with marriage.

Since there can be so many problems and so many regulations, look how Jesus answers them.

As I close verse 11.

But he said unto them, all men cannot receive the saying, save they to whom it is given.

Verse 12.

For there are some eunuchs which are so born from their mother's womb.

And there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men.

And there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sakes.

He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

In these verses, Jesus addresses singleness with three illustrations about eunuchs.

Interesting.

You say, what is a eunuch?

A eunuch is someone physically incapable of procreation and therefore, you might say, would be unmarriable.

The first two groups of eunuchs are incapable of marriage either from birth or from being made a eunuch through castration.

The third group are those who have voluntarily chosen celibacy or a life of singleness.

Jesus says that some singles have set aside their normal desire for marital relations that they might not be distracted in service for the kingdom of God.

I'm not one of those.

I don't have that gift.

First Corinthians 7.

Apostle Paul says that remaining single gives the unmarried person the ability to focus special attention to the things of the Lord or have undistracted devotion to God.

For some, this could be a portion of their life with the intent to possibly get married later.

For others, it could be a lifelong commitment or calling from God.

And it would have to be a calling from God.

Because Paul says in First Corinthians 7:28, he says those who marry will have trouble in their life.

We know that.

We've talked about that.

It is.

It can be.

When you put two sinners in a closed space in one flesh, that can be a lot of trouble.

If it isn't a lot of grace, it can be a lot of trouble.

Since celibacy or a life of singleness is a gift and calling of God where you have freedom from sexual need.

That is what Paul is saying.

He's saying, listen, if you're celibate, God has given you the gift of singleness, then you won't burn for desire for someone or lust for someone of the opposite sex.

And if you do, then you don't have that gift.

Men and you need to pursue marriage.

34, you say?

Preacher, what are they doing with all those years in their 20s?

They're probably doing Bible study, going to a small group, learning how to be a good husband, a good wife.

Absolutely not.

They're out fornicating, breaking God's commands.

And it's important for you to understand singles just cause the world does it and you're a Christian single, you don't need to do it.

You must abstain from all forms of sexual activity and flee from any situation which you might be tempted to commit sexual sin.

God is not saying I'm trying to keep you from sex, but for sex in the covenant of marriage because it's beautiful.

I've covered a lot of issues here and I just, I just want to.

As God brings it to my attention, you say, well, preacher, since you gave that illustration of David committing adultery and God forgiving him in Psalm 51, then I guess then if I want to, I could just go out and commit adultery knowing that God would forgive me.

That isn't what happened with David.

You don't have a heart pursuing God.

If you think ahead of time, I'm going to commit sin because God will forgive me later.

God has to grant you repentance.

Hope you heard me.

And David truly repented.

Amen.

So I just want to clear that up too.

We've talked about in, in, in this passage, Jesus perspective on marriage.

I gave you six truths about marriage.

So important to understand today.

What he says about divorce and some comments to singles and I pray I don't know where you at in your life right now.

I don't know where you're at in your marriage.

Singles here today, I don't know what's happening in your life, but I do know this.

When God's word goes out, when his truth is preached, he wants us to respond.

He wants us all to respond in some way.

I don't know what that way is for you, it might be just grabbing your wife or husband by the hand and looking over each other and saying, I'm just so thankful for you.

You God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband.

God has blessed me with such a wonderful wife.

It may be holding hands or just even if you want to come to the altar and say, God, it's our desire.

We want to be a reflection of the gospel of Jesus Christ in marriage.

When the world looks at our marriage, when the world looks at Hank and Wendy, that they can see a picture of the gospel lived out in their marriage.

When your children look at mom and dad or your grandchildren.

Look at Grandma and Granddaddy.

They can see a picture of the gospel in your marriage.

Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

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Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.