Podcast Notes for "Remaining Calm in the Festive Chaos: Plus Post-Hospital Update"

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• Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
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Benefits of Listening:

• Gain insights on balancing festive stress and personal well-being.
• Learn strategies for dealing with family dynamics and holiday triggers.
• Hear a heartfelt update on Steven's health journey post-hospital.

Opening Description:

Join Steven Webb in this special episode as he shares his recent health experiences and guides us on how to navigate the festive season with calmness and wisdom. Dive into a conversation filled with personal anecdotes, practical advice, and genuine care.

Selected Quotes:

1. "Slowly but surely, things are getting better. It's all about taking one day at a time."
2. "Remember, your home is your sanctuary during the festive season. Do what's right for you and your family."
3. "Pick three words that represent who you are at your core, and let them guide you through the holiday chaos."

So welcome to Stillness in the Storms, another podcast by me, Steven Webb, where the viewers are more

wiser and better than the host. It feels like that at the moment. You guys are awesome. You know, the

last couple of weeks has been more than a roller coaster, but essentially it's been on the up,

slowly. You get the old bad day. And for those that don't know, I ended up in hospital. Nearly three

weeks ago. we're three weeks ago this Christmas day and I ended up with a major surgery and I had

a new stoma bag fitted and since then everything's been getting better slowly. One thing after another. When you have

major surgery like that, you don't recover that brilliantly. But things are so much better. I have energy

ah Just I just want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for my flakiness

in the last 12 months of doing this podcast. Some weeks that I just couldn't do it because I just

didn't have the energy. My blood levels were that low and exhausted and I still done my council work and

I never realised how poorly I was getting until my body finally said enough's enough.

You need to sort yourself out. And it took hands into it took matters into its own hands,

which is wonderful. And I thank my body for that because my head is not very wise. My body is

very wise. My head is not. So just I I'm out of hospital clearly. And my life is

gonna be a lot more stable. It's a lot better. And I'm looking forward to Christmas um I have some

amazing, amazing, amazing news. I'm so excited. I am a granddad. My daughter, 26,

Kemba. She was my um mares my consort when I was mayor. And she

moved in with me when she was four years old. She's my stepdaughter, but she's as good as my daughter

you know and my god I'm so pleased. She gave birth on... What day are we today? Saturday. She gave

birth on Thursday. Koa Emily. And koa means warrior. Strong,

resilient tree in Hawaii. And, oh my God, I'm just... I didn't think I would be filled with as much

emotion as what I am, in all fairness. But I am. And... Yeah,

can't wait to see her. We're leaving a go at the moment, especially for the first two or three days

because we feel it's really important that the the baby bonds with the mom and the dad more so than

it gets passed around to 20 people that just want their photograph taken of it. I get why people want

to smell the baby's head and all those things. I don't know. Yeah, I'd love to have a picture of

it, of it of koa But in all fairness... Let's let's do what's best for koa in the

first few days, not what's best for the family. So I just think it's wonderful. Congratulations camera and james I'm

so proud of the pair of you I'm so happy. I'm a granddad. I've got my body sorted nearly.

I'm 50 years old. You can't have it there it's all right I just turned 51, actually. So uphill from

here.

My brain said downhill, but I changed it um Anyway today's podcast. Let's get on with it. Otherwise, I'm going

to be here all day and I'm going to bore you to tears. I just want to talk about embracing

the festive season. And the festive season is really, really difficult. The

marketers have a job to do. Drain you dry of your money. The supermarkets and the shops have to make

you feel good, give you that mince pie, guilt you into buying every last thing in the shop. The lights

and the music and it's all designed perfectly to just get every last penny out of you. To

make you feel like you'll miss out and things like that. And on the other hand, everybody else has their

job to do as well. It's all part of it. It's don't blame anybody for doing their job. Don't blame

the shops for playing music. Don't blame the people for putting up the Christmas Don't blame the family members that

want you to put up a tree and live Christmas the way they want to do it.

But with all that said, if it makes you want to walk away, lean back. Just remember your

home is your home. Do what's right for you and your family.

Don't lean out completely

because that's not the answer either. You don't have to lean in and do Christmas in a different, non-congruent way

to the way you are. And I think this is the most important thing with the festive season. And with

what it's worth, my best advice is be who you are. Be authentic to who you are.

Because otherwise you're not going to enjoy it. Otherwise you're going to find it so difficult then that's not to

mean if you hate Christmas and you think the authentic you is to be miserable and ruin everyone's Christmas. I

would challenge that. Of course it's not. That's not who you want to be. You don't want to ruin people's

Christmas. But you may not feel like celebrating Christmas the same way because of maybe a past Christmas. Maybe experiences

of Christmases. In your life haven't been the same as what others And there is people are like, oh, Christmas

tree, grotto. Amazing. Let's have Christmas every single day. Let's put on noddy older. It's Christmas.

Yeah,

I struggle with them. But I also, I'm okay with them being them. And I have them in my family.

And they're okay. They're doing it their way. And because I don't have the friction with them now, I'm like,

okay, you do it your way. It's fine. And I love your Christmas tree. Your fifth one.

I've only just got in the door and that's four trees already. No, I'm joking. But it kind of feels

like that sometimes. And then we have this amazing meal and everything like that. And then we talk politics and

we do all those things and it gets heated. So now I just step back can go you know, these

family members trigger me. These are the ones I find difficult. But they're just like me in many ways. They're

just struggling with Christmas too and they want to be entertaining. They do it their way. They haven't got the

wisdom and depth that you have. I know you got it because you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. So

pick three words, and I say this quite often, of the real foundations of who you are deep down. Pick

these three words and whatever comes up in the family dynamics and the triggers when you're shopping or doing these

other things. Work out how you can show up with those three words. And it could be authentic, it could

be honest, it could be kind, compassionate, it could be loving, it could be um comedy

funny, it could be whatever words that really resonate with you when you close your eyes and really think about

it.

That's what's

important you bring to Christmas. So for me, the three words, and they change, but right now in this season,

And it's not just pointing to the out world It's pointing to me inside as well. You

know, the relationship with me this Christmas because there's voices I want to run. There's voices that want to party.

And I can't think of much worse than partying at Christmas. But there's still a voice there somewhere that says,

yeah, have you a Prosecco I'll be drunk after two sips, but have your Prosecco. Go crazy. Spend loads of

money. Buy gifts for everybody. And I'm like, no.

So yeah I I still we all have these different voices, whatever the voices are. So the three words I

say and I try to live by at the moment is I show up as understanding,

compassionate and accepting.

And I know they're similar words. If you're compassionate, you're accepting and understanding. If you're understanding, you're

probably compassionate and accepting. And if you're accepting, you're compassionate and understanding. It doesn't matter

if they're similar words. The overall thing is, right now I need those three words just to

show

up as who I am. I don't say hello to her hi I'm Steven, and my three words are understanding,

compassionate, and

accepting.

No, of course I don't I don't even know them. Sometimes I need reminding. Sometimes when I'm about to

jump on someone because they said something to deliberately wind us up, you know, one of the nieces or something

like that would look up and go, and my daughter was really good at this, Kemba that's just given birth.

She was brilliant at this. She would sit at the Christmas table or sit at a roast dinner and she

would sit there seven, eight years old and go, so what about God? Is God real? And I'm like, oh,

just no. Not right now. Wasn't answering the question. That's

where by my pay grade. I have no idea.

So, you know, and

I'm sure we'll get that with my nieces and all that this year. Ken was not up to my mum's

for Christmas lunch this year. But when I get up there, I just appreciate I've still got my mum with

me. Does my head in all the time. She tells these wonderful stories I'm like... Yeah,

I'm in that story, but I can't remember that.

And I used to argue them. I used to battle them. And I'm like, does it matter? It

doesn't matter. And so it's that accepting I just appreciate they're there because trust me, at some point

I'm gonna miss them. And I'm gonna miss my mom's liver and onions. You know, I should be thinking that

way. But if you realise people will move on, people will die. We're dying. You then suddenly have an

appreciation for what we already have and what's already here instead of wishing for something different. So

how do I approach the Christmas lunch, which is always amazing? My mom is the most amazing cook in the

world. I'm sorry, everybody, but she is. We have like sausage stuffing and all kinds of stuffing.

And we have, I don't eat the parsnips, but she has parsnips. She even does deep fried battered

cauliflower, I think. I don't eat it, but it's amazing. I can't fit it all my clay Anyway I'm going

off on tangerine. I'm going to Christmas Day. That's not been my important at all is it? But it always

ends up in quite a debate or someone's triggering you. And when you get that many family members together, whether

it's Christmas Day or whether it's a barbecue in Australia or whatever it is, when you have that many people

together, you have siblings that trigger you.

It's up to you whether you're triggered.

So you could have your three words with kind, compassionate and

wise or peace or calm. Wonderful word, calm. And

just have a pause between what's arising you don't have to do anything with it. Because literally someone could say

something that really triggers you. It's up to you if you do anything with it. It's up to you if

you react.

And you might say, no it's not. If they say something dumb, dig deeper. It is. There is a gap

between what arises and how we respond. Sometimes the gap is so infinitely small that you can't see it. Granted.

But there is a gap. Every single time.

So come up with three words um If you can, message me the three words. Go

over to StevenWebb.uk where you can buy me a coffee. You can message me anytime you want. I always get

back to everybody and sometimes takes me a couple of days, but I do. I love hearing from you. I

love hearing how I might be helping your life or ways in which I can help. Ideas for podcast, ideas

for guided meditation and Thank you for all the amazing reviews this This podcast has like

200 reviews over the past five years. Just incredible. So if you're on Spotify,

put me as one of your favourite lists or something. If you're over on Apple or any other platform, leave

a review. An honest review. I'm not asking for five stars just You know, whatever stars do you feel this

deserves and if you've got some words of advice how I can improve it, please put that too because that's

important. Very often people don't put that kind of side. They that they very often say when

things are good, they don't worry. No, that's wrong actually. People always put when they're complaining, don't they? Just look

at trip advisor Anyway tangent. Thank you. All of you. Wishing you the greatest

Merry Christmas, Happy onnika Happy Seasons, Greetings, Holidays, whatever it is whatever Whatever you're celebrating or not

celebrating, I wish you the most peaceful, loving and compassionate one.

And on that deep breath, I just thank you deeply for your support. And

a double thank you to Mark singer And Sarah

and many others, Lizzie and everybody that donates to me and that are members over on buyacoffee.com

forward slash Steven Webb. There's a link below. I

deeply appreciate it and it's really helped me through this difficult time because when I'm not able to do podcasts

and I've got no sponsors, that pays for the podcast every month and doing the podcast. It's a lot more

expensive than people think. And without that, the podcast would not exist. So thank you. For my

more energy, excited, looking forward to Christmas. Steven Webb, your host of Stillness in the Storms.

Thank you. And I love you.