In this week's Saddle Up segment on Doing Divorce Different, Lesa chats with seasoned marriage and family therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone about essential tips for building strong marriages. Despite her own experiences with divorce, remarriage, and raising kids, Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and addressing personal traumas. Highlighting insights from the book 'Facing Codependence' by PM Melody, the discussion delves into understanding core wounds for healthier relationships. Additionally, the segment discusses the influence of shared religious practices on marriage and previews Dr. Whetstone's book 'I Think I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage.'

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Becky Whetstone

01:11 Key to a Strong Marriage: Work on Yourself

02:32 The Role of Shared Spiritual Practices

04:17 Upcoming Discussions and Dr. Becky's Book

04:54 Conclusion and Next Steps

Welcome to this week's Saddle up segment on Tuesday on

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doing divorce different, I had

the pleasure of chatting with Dr.

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Becky Wetstone and she

is been through it all.

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She's been here before and I

just, I like talking to her so

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much and getting her insight.

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Um, I think she's gonna

kind of be a regular.

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On the Doing Divorce, different podcast.

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She, when I say she's been through

it all, she's been through divorce.

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She had kids, she's been remarried and

she is a marriage and family therapist and

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she always has lots of good information.

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And this week on doing

divorce different I.

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Kind of threw at her something to talk

about right before we met, which is fine.

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I like to be authentic.

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I was telling her that I had been to

a shower in Montana over the weekend

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and that a lot of the young girls

were really interested in, okay, what

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can we do to have strong marriages?

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And so I was thinking.

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What can we talk about?

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What can we discuss to help you

have a strong marriage, whether

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you're young and just getting

married or even after divorce?

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What are the things that

are important to do?

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And interestingly enough, it very simply,

I mean, if you just listen to this,

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you're gonna get the biggest nugget of

all, and that is to work on yourself.

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And in that episode, we give some

ways you can work on yourself.

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One thing that she said was really

important that I agree with is really

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getting down to your traumas and your,

your core wounds, and she mentioned

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someone named PM Melody, who, um, wrote

a book called Facing Codependence.

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So I'm gonna read it

and I'm gonna have Dr.

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Becky back on.

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So stay tuned for that because we're

gonna talk about how to figure out, so

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even if you don't read the book, how you

can figure out what those core wounds and

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what's affecting you in your marriage.

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'cause the bottom line is we

darlings need to be healthy in

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order to have a healthy marriage.

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And then, you know, Dr.

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Becky was really kind of grounded in

the fact that there's no surefire way.

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To, you know, keep a marriage going

strong or to pick the right mate.

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However, if we can be strong in

ourselves, it can improve our marriage.

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And if things go south, it helps us

so that we can handle it if it does.

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So, good information to have.

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Uh, there was one thing we were

kind of laughing about because I had

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said, um, and I always write this

in little wedding cards because I

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heard this in my marriage class.

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35 years ago, um, before I married

my husband, I heard couples that

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pray together every day only

have a 2% divorce rate, and Dr.

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Becky kind of was like, huh,

I'd like to see that study.

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So I told her that I would

look it up, and so I did.

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And um, I found the information.

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This is what I found.

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While shared religious practices including

praying together are associated with

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higher marital satisfaction, there is no

conclusive academic evidence to support

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the claim that daily prayer together

reduces the divorce rate to 2% or less.

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Couples interested in strengthening

their marriage may find value in shared

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spiritual activities, but it's important

to approach such statistics with a

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critical eye and consider the broader

context of relationship dynamics.

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Okay, so maybe she was kind of right, but

I still feel like there's hope in that.

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Uh, so I'm not sure how I'm

gonna phrase it in my cards.

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I still recommend it.

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I still think it's helpful.

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I think it's one of the things that I've

done, and that's all I can share with you.

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I'm an expert in the field

of marriage because I've been

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married for 34 years, so, um, I.

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Becky was kind of, Dr.

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Becky was kind of right about that, but

I think there still is hope in that.

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And another thing that I forgot to mention

that we're gonna be discussing with Dr.

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Be Becky, um, a few months out is

she did write an amazing book called.

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I think I want out.

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What do I do when one of you

wants to end your marriage?

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What to do when one of you

wants to end your marriage?

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So I just bought it.

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I'm gonna be, you can find it on Amazon.

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There's a link in the show notes.

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So go find it 'cause Dr.

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Becky's got, uh, great information too,

and we're gonna talk about that as well.

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So what do you do when

the marriage is ending?

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Thank you so much for being here.

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If you wanna hear more, Dr.

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Becky's fun to listen to.

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Go back to Tuesday's episode.

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Take good care.