Discover why your habits and patterns form and the specific steps you can take to break through and live by your highest priority. Dr John Demartini shares why focusing on your highest priority is the direct path to your greatest fulfilment, achievement and life mastery.

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Anytime you separate pleasure from pain,

your brain makes a distinct thinking where you actually makes you believe that

you can get a pleasure out of pain, and then you get a pain without a pleasure.

And anytime there's a separation in space or time between pain and pleasure,

you go into the amygdala and you get into the habit of, I want to go buy,

consume, and then I want to avoid those bills.

[Inaudible].

Today we're going to talk about,

I'm going to discuss breaking through habit patterns.

Some people call them addictions or habit patterns, some of which you may like,

some of you may not,

but I'd like to talk about that topic first.

That has been shown through many, many years,

we're talking about thousands of years now,

that anytime you do a particular activity

and you do it repetitively, it becomes automatic,

habitual. They say,

and some research points anywhere from as quick as 18 days,

all the way to about 84 days. So about 60 to 70 days is not an uncommon.

It can go up even to 200 and something days, but usually within about 90 days,

60 to 90 days, patterns become regular.

If you look back at your life,

you probably didn't brush your teeth until you had to kiss somebody.

You didn't want to have your mouth smelling crazy.

And then you started to develop the habit of brushing your teeth when you got to

puberty and you hit the 13,

before that your parents had to push you to go and brush your teeth probably.

The same thing in flossing your teeth,

you make a habit of after a while it becomes a habit.

But repetitive spaced repetition tends to make something automatic

and we can get into space repetition, consciously,

and intend to do it,

or we can get into something that's unconsciously and not intend to do it.

And anything that

heightens the pleasure of something can be

tended to reverberate and do it again to get the pleasure again,

just like anything that's causing pain can deverberate, if you will,

to try to avoid it and we can get in the habit of avoidance and get into a habit

of seeking.

So we've got in a sense sub-dictions and addictions,

or sub-habits and habits, if you want to call it that.

So anything that we perceive,

decide or act upon that gives us either pleasure

or pain we can get in the habit of seeking or avoiding.

We can also develop the habit consciously of pursuing

things that may have pleasure and pain,

which would be considered an objective or a goal. You know,

when you go after a goal, you are likely going to have, you know,

challenges along the way that were painful to have to deal with in order to

achieve that goal. For instance, if you're going to run a marathon,

you're going to pound the sidewalk a lot running and probably have sweat

and have to wash clothes and have sometimes painful ankles or

thighs or something.

So there are some objectives that you're willing to embrace pain and pleasure

in, in the pursuit.

And that can become habitual through repetition and through training

and become a pattern. Others are again, avoiding or seeking.

When it's avoiding and seeking, when you're avoiding something,

it's because you're conscious of the downsides and you're unconscious of the

upsides. So that's a habit pattern that's done out of an unconscious component.

And when you're seeking something, something you think is pleasure,

you're conscious of the upside, you're unconscious the downside. So again,

you have an unconscious half to that pattern.

And when you're going after something,

that's an objective and you're embracing both sides and you're planning both

sides with foresight,

a goal that you know is going to have challenges along the way,

but you're going to do it anyway,

and you develop the habit of the prioritized actions

achieve it. Then now you're developing a space, repetitive habit,

automaticity,

in the direction of something that's an objective that you're fully conscious

of.

Now pursuing objectives that you're fully conscious of and develop a space

repetition habit pattern to do that,

will imprint in the forebrain of your brain neural pathways

that lead to the discipline and self-governance to achieve things.

Now there's an interesting phenomenon that I've observed working with clients

over the years,

that if you don't fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you and

make a repetitive habit of doing that,

your day will fill up with low priority distractions that don't. Now,

when I say distractions, di - two,

tractions - pulling.

So distractions are things that you're impulsively seeking or things that you're

instinctually avoiding. You can be distracted by a pleasure or a pain.

I'm sure you've had a situation where you've got distracted by a whole bunch of

income coming in, or a bunch of bills coming in.

And either one of them can make you related or depressed or excited or down.

And those can be distracting you from the primary objective of that moment.

Primary objective is being of service to people.

So if you're not filling your day with objectives and developing a

repetitive habit of doing those objectives,

those action steps that lead to those objectives and embracing fully consciously

the pains and the pleasures,

you'll be vulnerable to letting the unconscious habits

form. Now I'm not saying that that's bad or good,

but you'll probably label it bad or good because you'll be wanting to avoid

something or seek something. We don't even realize we're doing that.

We do that in every area of our life. We have certain people socially,

we avoid and seek that hook us. If we see them,

we get hooked and attracted, or we get to dehooked, if you will, and repelled.

We do it with finances. We do it with business transactions.

We do it with our spiritual studies.

We do it with our physical fitness routines. We avoid this.

There's certain foods that you know, and have learned,

which could call it an anti-allergy that you eat and makes you feel good.

And an allergy that you eat and makes you feel ugh.

So you know that there's seeking and avoidings that are developed habits,

and you have patterns that you've associated with it.

Now these are associations that we make. See,

every time we judge something that we perceive consciously positives,

without negatives, unconscious of the negatives or vice versa,

conscious of positives without the negatives or conscious of the negatives,

without the positives, either of those that we store in our subconscious mind,

when we have new stimuli that remind us of that by some sort of association,

either opposition to it or similarities to it,

or contiguancy or sequentially in time,

anything that's associated with those subconsciously stored things,

we'll tag what it is, we'll imprint in the brain, a pattern of avoid or seek.

This is a normal pattern. In other words,

let's say we're out in the wild as an animal and we see a tiger about to come

and chase us. If we see something that has stripes on it,

we may immediately think of the tiger and it's associated with it

so we'll avoid it in our life. I'm using that as analogy.

Or the dog salivating with Pavlov when he's eating food and you ring a bell,

and now the bell is associated with, this is called a conditioned reflex.

And we have subconsciously stored data,

that's polarized because of emotional judgments

of the past, that condition new stimuli,

and create perceptions that are polarized that remind us,

this is what anxiety is. Anxiety is a compounding, what I call secondary,

tertiary compounding of an original event that you thought had more pain than

pleasure, that you didn't ever find the blessings to. You know,

every week in the Breakthrough Experience program,

which I've taught 1,110 times,

I show people,

I actually have them go through a process called the Demartini Method,

which allows them to become conscious of the unconscious.

So they're fully conscious.

So they balance objectively the experiences of the past that

are stored in their subconscious mind to clear that baggage,

which is impeding and compounding,

creating anxieties or addictions, compounding stimuli,

and how to take stimuli that you think you're conscious of the downsides and

find the upsides, or conscious of upsides and find the downsides.

So it's a series of very precise questions that make you fully conscious,

full consciousness, mindfulness, and present so you're not reactive,

you're proactive. Because if you're not filling your day with proactivity,

you end up with reactivity.

And if you don't develop the patterns and habit patterns of proactivity,

foresight with objectives that are balanced, that you embrace both sides of,

then you're going to be running around as an automaton,

reacting to behavior around you, stimulus behind you.

There are things called triggers. Triggers are things that are,

again previously associated with an event. You could have,

let's say your father was yelling at your mother when you were young and he

happened to be wearing a certain set of clothes.

And she happened to wear a certain set of clothes. So now,

later on you meet somebody that has those clothes,

you immediately have this anxious response,

'I don't trust that person.' Or if they have clothes like your mom,

you might have compassion and go, 'Oh, I want to go and help that person'.

You may not even be aware that you're doing that,

but these are repetitive patterns that have been stacked up and associated and

compounded over time from an original event that you had as

imbalanced, that you judged. And by the way,

anything you judge and you seek or avoid as a result of it,

a prey or predator response in your amygdala,

if it's not neutralized and brought back up into the executive center and seeing

both sides of it,

you have a skewed subjectively biased view that then gets stored in the

subconscious mind that then compounds and causes associations and

patterns that keep repeating themselves.

We used to call that in the Eastern mysticism, karma,

and you got to shake your head like that when you get it.

But the point is that these are associations you've made,

that are imbalanced. And when they're imbalanced,

what happens is that that allows you to go into your amygdala,

it goes into larger fibre, diameter fibre in the neurons, they fire quicker,

and then they REACT before you have time to think.

And many people are in that pattern of reacting instead of proacting.

So if we don't take the time to set objectives,

which are behaviors, human behaviors that we're inspired by,

that we know will help us fulfill what is consciously meaningful,

our highest priorities in life, and make a habit of doing that every single day.

You've heard me say this over and over again,

if you don't fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you,

your day is going to fill up with low priority distractionsthat don't.

Distractions are going to be the habit patterns that are automatic,

that are compounded, that are stored from the subconscious mind,

that are making you react like an animal where you're out of control.

You have no governance. If you're living by your highest values,

you have self-governance.

If you have self-governance and you make a pattern habit of it,

and you repeatedly do that, you become a master. It's that simple.

If you do not,

you become a slave and the slave of the unconscious causing you to

react. Now, your perceptions, decisions,

and actions are what you have control over.

Perceptions are also related to emotional feelings because of the ratio of

perceptions,

the thinking process is related to the decision process of the interneurons

and the motor neurons are the actions. You have control over those,

and you can control objectively what you perceive,

because I take people in the Breakthrough Experience every week,

and they have an event in their life, they assume it is good or bad.

They're caught in this moral trap of hypocrisy.

They're avoiding it or seeking it. It's running their life.

You see it right now in the political scenery of the U S here and people

reacting, and they're highly polarized.

And they don't even realize that they're literally having habit patterns that

are causing them to get angry or pleased, support or challenge.

And they're sitting in their amygdala,

and they don't even know they're doing it.

And this is because of the patterns that they've allowed to occur,

because they didn't fill their day with much higher priority things that are

deeply meaningful, that are objectives.

And they're caught and swayed by the mass media and mass consciousness.

And then they're not masters of their life.

They're slaves the conformity of the myth that's being promoted.

And so I'm not, it takes no effort to do that,

but it does take effort to go to the Demartini Method

or the Demartini Value Determination process online on my website,

go and determine your values. If you haven't done that, please do that.

It's complimentary, it's free, it's simple. And do it again. Again and again,

until you have a tear of gratitude, until you know, bang, that's what I'm up to.

That's my highest value. And then structure your life and ask,

what are the highest priority actions I can do on a daily basis to help me

fulfill whatever that highest value is,

cause that your identity revolves around.

That's where you're going to master learning.

That's where you're gonna develop the habits of the master.

And if you do that every day and you delegate lower

going down into your amygdala,

you'll liberate yourself from the automaton reaction as a slave of

life, a quiet life of desperation as Thoreau said,

and you'll give yourself permission to shine and do something that you're

inspired to do, you're living by design instead of duty,

you're living by clarity, full consciously,

instead of living half conscious and most people who are seeking and avoiding

things, are unconscious of the other side of the equation.

When you stop and think about it, we don't realize it. Now,

addictions are compensations for unfulfilled, highest value,

and unconscious seeking,

the unconscious seeking of those things.

I found that addicted behavior is strategic.

And I know this offends some people that are addicts,

because they've been so brainwashed by 12 step programs and things of this

nature,

but they basically think they're out of control and they have no control,

but I don't find that to be true at all.

I've never found one addict that didn't have unconscious

awareness of the advantages over the disadvantages that they're perceiving,

but it's unconscious. They can consciously say,

'I got to stop this over eating.' At the same time they're eating.

So know that anytime you have a decision, anytime you make a decision,

you're making a decision based on what you believe will give you the greatest

advantage over disadvantage.

So you may be not conscious of the advantages over disadvantage and therefore

you think you need to stop it and you got to stop it. Oh, I got to stop this.

It's an addiction, but unconsciously,

you're still perceiving more advantages than disadvantages or you wouldn't be

doing it. And I've learned that working with addicts many, many years now.

And I'm certain,

that they're not always conscious of their real motives for doing what they're

doing, and they're telling you consciously all the things that got to stop,

'Oh I got to stop, it's killing it, doing this and everything else',

but yet they're still doing it. So somehow in their brain,

there's an unconscious motive for doing it. I call it unconscious motives.

I had a lady that came into my office one time that had diabetes.

This is not so much about addiction, but

she was getting money from the government and from her insurances and things of

this sort. And somebody is trying to call,

disregard the sound there. But what's interesting.

She was basically surviving on getting money from the government.

And she claimed that she wanted to get cured from her diabetes,

but the diabetes was not going,

she was not going to do the things that it took to clear the diabetes primarily

because

she was constantly dependent on the lady who was wheeling around in a

wheelchair. And she said,

'This lady has been with me for eight years and I have no real intention of

getting rid of this lady. She's the most important friend of my life.

As a result of it I'm not going to get the treatment for diabetes

that I think can help me because that means that I would have the loss of

somebody that's very deeply important to me.' And I watched this unconscious

until I brought it up to her, I made her conscious of it,

and until then she was unconscious of why she was undermining her care.

But the real truth is if she got her care and she got out of her wheelchair,

she wouldn't have the person that was so close into her life.

So she was using the diabetes as a way of maintaining the person

in her life because nobody was around her.

They didn't want to be around her except this one lady.

And so we have addictive behaviors that have accumulated because of unconscious

advantages, not conscious advantages.

And this is very important to realize we do this. So you might want to ask,

when I'm working with addictions and habit patterns that people say they want to

stop, but they keep doing, I immediately ask them,

'What are the advantages you're getting?' And in their hierarchy of values,

once they determine their hierarchy of values online,

in their hierarchy of values, when they discover that, 'Oh,

in my real highest values, I'm actually getting what I'm wanting by doing it.

I'm getting the attention I'm wanting,

I'm getting to escape things I don't want to do it.' There's some motive there,

that's there. And so I say that those addictive patterns are actually strategic.

And then I know that's offensive to somebody, but I don't care.

I've got the facts to see it. I've seen it over and over again.

And people don't want to face that and they want to dodge it because they know

they're doing it.

And I watched a heroin addict that had been doing heroin for 20 something years,

28 years.

And I watched the unconscious motives and we finally brought it to the surface

and they were sitting there and they go,

they had no intention of stopping cause the advantages they were getting were

far outweighing the disadvantages at that time in their mind.

Now there's alternative ways of getting those advantages.

And so once I brought those alternative ways of getting those advantages,

that shifted the need for the old ones,

but there's strategies there.

So the wise thing to do is to take command and be fully mindful,

mindful full,

of both sides so you're not hiding from yourself unconscious information

that's making you have habits of seek or avoid. Now,

the Demartini Method, which I teach in the Breakthrough Experience,

which I share every weekend just about,

I hope that you will consider coming and learning that because it will make a

difference in taking unconscious behaviors and making you fully conscious.

Because what it does is it takes things that you're avoiding or seeking,

that you're resenting or infatuated with, consciously or unconsciously,

and it goes through a series of questions that make you fully conscious of both

sides to neutralize the behavior.

So instead of being hooked by it with an attraction or avoiding it with

a repulsion, you're neutralizing it. Now why is that important?

If you're neutral, you don't fear the loss of things you're addicted to.

If you're neutral, you don't fear the gains of that what you're sub-dicted from.

So the more you can neutralize those perceptions and stacked associations from

the subconscious mind and bring them to the full consciousness,

which is what the Method does.

The more you have liberty to structure your life,

according to your priorities and become master of your destiny.

That's why I tell people no matter what their age,

whatever they've been through, come to the Breakthrough Experience.

The Breakthrough Experience is where I introduce how to do that.

And that is a gold mine for the rest of your life if you learn that. Truly is.

If you can go through and identify how to become fully conscious of

events that are running your life,

it can take you out of an automaton animal behavior and put you into a

masterful human achievement.

So you want habit patterns that are objective, that are focused,

that you're selecting, that are priority that according to your highest values,

because whenever you're doing things that are in your highest values,

your self worth goes up, your achievements go up, your confidence goes up,

your self worth goes up. Your leadership goes up.

Your space and time horizons expand.

You get blood glucose and oxygen into the forebrain,

which is the executive function. You have more self-governance.

You have less distraction. You're more empowered.

You exemplify what's possible.

All of those benefits are a result of learning,

a simple process on how to dissolve the illusions that distract you

and to prioritize things according to your values.

In the Breakthrough Experience I cover the value applications,

the Value Determination, the prioritization.

And one of the most significant components is not subordinating to other people.

As long as you subordinate to other people and put people on pedestals and think

they're above you and become addicted to be around them.

You're going to inject some of their values into your life.

You're going to cloud the clarity of your own highest value.

You're going to work in lower values.

You're going to be more likely to be addicted and more likely to be subdicted,

more likely to be distracted and less empowered.

And that is why as a result of that lack of mastery,

you tend to brain offload and let other people decide for you.

And you become in a sense of conformed sheep instead of a shephard.

So there's no reason you have to live that way. In the Breakthrough Experience,

I teach you the science of how to transcend that.

So you're not sitting there with repetitive habits that are

uninspiring, you're using repetitive habits that are inspiring to you.

And I'm absolutely certain you can create an inspired life.

And there's a step by step process to live an inspired life that will

require delegation and prioritization.

I don't know how you're going to get to a very inspired life,

a life of inspiration,

without making repetitive patterns that are conscious,

fully consciously chosen based on your highest values in a way that

serve other people that inspire you,

that you can't wait to get up in the morning and do, that serve other people,

so you get rewarded economically for it.

And you get rewarded by getting to do something that's meaningful. And that,

by doing that, it keeps you out of the unfulfilled state of the amygdala,

which you look for immediate gratification and get subdicted and

addicted to all the things that you've stored in your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind, as I said,

stores all judgments of the past that have been either avoiding pain and seeking

pleasure.

So anything that has been painful in your life that you don't see the upsides

to, anything you think is pleasureful and you don't see the downside,

i's going to be stored the subconscious mind,

It's going to keep creating associations and compound and increase unconscious

habits that's going to stop you from living your full life.

And it's not that hard to do. It's really, it's not, people make it complex,

but it's a really simple process and it's work, but it works.

So in order to transcend the autonomic,

you might say, animal behaviors ,that are addictions or habits that are

uninspiring, that you think you don't have control over,

that's really strategic unconsciously or consciously.

There's a way of transcending it by filling your day

doing space repetition,

and using the Demartini Method and linking,

learning how to link values, learning how to live by priorities and values,

learning how to determine values and learning how to use the Method and

dissolving the distractions that are stored in the subconscious mind that are

keeping you from living in an inspired and fulfilled life.

So I wanted to go over some of those things.

There was a couple of other things that I wanted to talk about on the

addiction and habits.

Many years ago, probably 20 now,

I was working with some addicts,

that were heroin addicts that I had the opportunity to interact with.

And the first time it happened was with a young lady.

She had the habit of using heroin and getting her experience

out of that. And she would get a kind of a euphoric experience.

And then she would attract tragic events into her life,

but she saw them separate. This is very crucial.

It's just like going and having a credit card.

Credit cards are foolish in my opinion,

because what they do is they give you the immediate gratification and then a

delayed pain, paying it. Anytime you separate pleasure from pain,

your brain makes a distinct thinking where you actually makes you believe that

you can get a pleasure without of pain.

And then you get a pain without a pleasure.

And anytime there's a separation in space or time between pain and pleasure,

you go into the amygdala and you get into the habit of, I want to go buy,

consume, and then I want to avoid those bills.

And so now you have a pain response and a subdiction from that,

and it's anxiousness to get the bills and you get into high and a pleasure for

getting the shopping and so you've got retail therapy going on.

That's because you've separated those.

That's why objectives where you're seeing both pain and pleasure equally allows

you to have control. These are out of control, they're unconscious of it.

So I had this lady that was taking heroin and we went in and at the moment

she was actually in the heroin,

I made her go back and identify what were the associations in the brain that

were all pleasureful.

And then we went to those and I showed her the way the brain is set up,

the brain always has reciprocal opposites, what they call inverted,

fractional opposites. And so there's a memory here and there's an anti memory.

And what I did is I had her go to the moment of pleasure that she was getting in

this high from and identify where in her brain,

were the pains that were simultaneously there, that she was unconscious of.

Because at the moment of perception, conscious and unconscious split,

and they're both going on. And if one is pleasure, the other other's pain,

there's always a pair. So I had her go into the pleasure moments,

I had her identify where the pain was. I made them synchronized.

So she saw that in that pleasure was pain.

And in that pain was pleasure and saw them as inseparable as CS Lewis and Samuel

Beckett had found. When I showed her to it,

instead of having the pleasure associated with it, she had pain and pleasure.

And so instead of having a pain with this, she had pleasure and pain.

Then I told her,

I showed her the time when she didn't have the drug and she was having pain and

withdrawal symptoms or a tragedy as a result of the high she was getting.

I went in there and I found the upsides. And I showed her the pleasure side,

and I started to put the pleasure and the pains, the seeking and the avoidings,

synchronously together so she's mindful and objective.

The moment she did,

she goes back into her executive center instead of back in the amygdala.

And we took her off the heroin without the side effects,

because I found that the side effects were a result of the perception of

loss, of not the drug,

but of the associations in the brain when you took the drug. That's why,

when all of a sudden I took her off,

she didn't have the side effects because I neutralized the associations in the

brain and put them into full consciousness.

And many people assume it's the drug.

So they say that there's a substance addiction or a substance habit, or

a chemical habit, when in fact it's the associations in the brain. So we have,

we can have a non substance addiction. We can be addicted to sex.

We can be addicted to. It's an internal substance in the brain.

It's a dopamine and oxytocin in the brain that we're now touching. Well,

those are because of the associations. So just know that the Demartini Method,

if used wisely in further columns side to ABCDEFGH

all the way up, as we go up those columns in the Method,

I give you tools on how to neutralize those polarities that are stored in the

subconscious mind

that keep you stuck as an animal and give you permission to go back into your

angelic state and allow you to have control over those

associations.

There's not one association your mortal body can experience that you can't with

your intuition and with the questions of the Demartini Method, neutralize,

liberate, and not have run you. I just wanted to go off on that tangent.

Cause a lot of times people assume it's the drug and then they blame the drug

and then they look for some other drug to solve it. And that's not the solution.

The solution is going in there and taking the associations and making you fully

conscious of both sides, which makes it where it has no power of you.

The drug has no power anymore,

cause it's not associated with pleasure without pain or pain, without pleasure.

So anxiety and addiction can be helped by the Demartini Method that I teach in

the Breakthrough Experience for people who want to go and have self-governance

and master their life.

So fill your day with high priority actions that are objectives that are

balanced. If you fill your day with challenges that inspire you,

it won't fill up with challenges that won't,

and you won't live half conscious and unconscious for your life.

So I just wanted to cover some of those things. I threw that last one in.

I went a few minutes over,

but I just wanted to let you know about that on habits.

So space repetition of what it is that's highest priority is one of the keys.

Now, in addition to that, I want to share that I would like to offer you a gift.

It's Awakening Your Astronomical Vision.

I'd like to offer that to you right now,

because I want you to live in your highest values,

where you expand your space and time horizons and have give yourself permission

to play a bigger game.

As long as you're filling your day with astronomical vision,

you're less likely to accumulate in the subconscious mind,

these conscious unconscious splits that cause

associations of subdiction and addiction and make you go through the habits that

you're unconscious of, that you don't want.

So please take advantage of this little offer gift.

I'm absolutely certain if you listen to it, it's a live presentation,

it's an inspiring presentation on giving yourself permission to do something

extraordinary and expand your consciousness.

You can't do something on this globe without an astronomical vision.

You need a bigger vision if you want to make a bigger life.

And also I've mentioned the Breakthrough Experience through this little

presentation. If you have not been to the Breakthrough Experience, come,

it's where I can show you how to transform your life and show you how to master

your life and give you a tool. I'll make you work.

Please don't come there if you just want to spectate,

come there because you want to master your life. Come get ready to work,

come and get to learn. I'm not about fluffy, high, you know,

rara stuff.

I'm interested in educating people on how to master their life in all seven

areas of life and not let the subdictions and addictions run their life,

but let their full consciousness direct and design the life that they are

inspired to live. So I look forward to seeing you at the next live time next

week, I look forward to having you get the Astronomical Vision,

Awakening Your Astronomical Vision, and come to the Breakthrough Experience,

I assure you if you do, you'll say thank you.

[Inaudible].

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That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize

your life. I look forward to our next presentation.

Thank you so much for joining.