In this episode of The Last 10%, Dallas brings back his wife, Danielle, to dive into the intersection of leadership and parenting, exploring how the principles that elevate teams in the workplace can also enrich the family dynamic. Using the framework presented in the book "Lift," the discussion centers on creating a culture of clear expectations, accountability, and shared values within the home. The episode explores the power of setting a vision and purpose that guides not just organizations but families, as they navigate daily life.

Listeners learn practical strategies used to coach children and foster a family environment that celebrates honesty and respect. From preparing for a trip to the grocery store to managing the whirlwinds of a family vacation, our episode reveals the impact of core values on behavior and decision-making. This episode is for parents seeking a blend of simplicity and effectiveness in their approach to raising well-rounded individuals.

This episode shares a fun and encouraging message for anyone looking to "lift" their family's spirit, cohesion, and direction.

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Dallas' latest book LIFT is now available on Audible: CLICK HERE

Mentioned in this episode:

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Hey everybody, we have a great show today.

Me and Danielle are back and we're having a wonderful conversation about the book

Lift, but it's not about business teams.

It's about something even more personal.

It's about the family team and how you can apply some of the

concepts from Lift to your family.

You definitely don't want to miss this incredible conversation.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

I am Dallas Burnett sitting in my 1905 Coke Brothers barber

chair in Thrive Studios.

But more importantly, we have the most popular guest that we've had on the last

10 percent in the history of the show back again by popular demand, Danielle.

Burn it.

Welcome to the show.

Thanks for being on the show.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

I'm super popular, maybe by only one person, which is

maybe you, but I am very glad to

No, actually we get a lot of good reviews.

We get a lot of good feedback when you're on the show.

So we got to keep bringing you back and keep bringing you back.

So that's good.

So we've had, we've had the last few months has been kind of busy, but

we're getting back into a groove.

We had the leadership summit in the end of January.

You did a fantastic job leading some, in fact, I'm again, feeling a little bit, a

little bit self conscious here because, you scored the highest on facilitating the

breakout sessions of all the 12 breakout sessions that we had your breakout

session on emotional intelligence was.

It was rated the highest, so you got the best part.

So kudos to you on that.

I feel a little self conscious, all right, whatever.

I,

bought them a Starbucks drink so they would vote

You handed out a lot of gift cards and gold stars.

I know you did.

Oh man.

That is just so surprising though, seriously, because

I did not know that would be a topic that would resonate so, so well.

But I'm so thankful that it did.

I knew that we,

thought it would be important, but.

Sometimes what you think is important doesn't necessarily resonate, but today I

feel like we have an awesome topic that's going to resonate with everybody and

I

am going to steal your job essentially today and interview you a

Okay.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm gonna Turn the

The tables are turning.

Okay.

I'm down with that.

That's good.

Yeah, so what I was thinking as we thought

about doing another show,

I was, you and I were talking about

the book lift, and it's just had such great success, not only everywhere, on

all the places you can buy books, it's had great success, but also at our retreat.

We talked about it in breakout sessions, and it just resonated so well.

And the idea that all teams need the structure of how to be led well and how to

run well.

and so in that you teach people how to coach and how to

lead and, what it looks like

to truly be a leader through the system

of the book Lift.

And so we, you and I were talking about how important it is to lead

our families well, and you do such a great job of that in our home.

And also me, homeschooling our girls and just.

All the things that we're into.

And so I thought it would be such a neat idea for me to interview you and get

your take on how Lyft, the principles in

Lyft, apply

to leading a

yeah,

So, what are your thoughts?

think, I'll queue it up.

how about this?

I'll queue it up by giving a little brief overview of the story.

Cause, if anyone wants to go out and purchase lift, it's fantastic, easy

read, and I'm not going to ruin it for you, but what we'll do today is just

queue it up, let you know the general.

of the book.

So you have context and then we can jump into, I think I just want to focus on one

of the major three principles in Lyft and we'll unpack that in a little bit more

detail today as it relates to the family.

So ultimately way, the way this business fable starts out, Lyft is.

Is we have this protagonist, Scott, and he is, moving through this journey in

the book and he's having these issues at work and it's just a crazy situation that

he finds himself in long story short.

He meets this wise, mysterious sage and, he.

Goes through a process of getting to know this person, that person getting to

know him and mentoring him and sharing some really valuable insights and wisdom

that are actionable items that he can take back with him to his, little piece

of chaos back at his office at work and start implementing with his team.

And so he starts to.

Understand more about how to create, how to shape and how to strengthen culture.

And that's really what Lyft is all about.

If you're leading a team or an organization.

And I say that loosely because some organizations are nonprofits.

Some are, for profit businesses.

Some are large and small and teams could be.

the same, it could be huge teams and it can also be your family.

Cause I see the family as a team structure as

Mm hmm.

so yeah, so that's where the book lift runs and goes through,

but, I think one of the things that I'd like to talk a little bit about today

with you is the first thing that Scott runs headlong into meets as he meets Ray.

Ray introduces this idea of reminders and it's a very simple idea and

concept, but I think it's something that it's I feel like it's like sports.

I feel like it's a lot of great teams and the great teams are the ones

that don't overlook the small things.

Like they just, they get the fundamentals, And I feel like

Mm hmm.

is that way with a lot of teams and organizations.

I feel like.

It's so simple that most people just overlook it or take it for granted.

and I think that especially in the family, in the context of

family, we tend to overlook it and take it for granted sometimes.

so yeah, so I'd love to talk about

Mm hmm.

today.

Yeah.

Well, in the book, you have an acronym, right?

That goes along with reminders for Scott to remember in the book and

then he takes it back to his office.

So if we were going to

just run through that, can you tell everybody

Yeah.

Yeah, that's great.

So whenever you're leading a team, whether it's at home or at work, you

really want to understand if you're going to remind people what are, what is it

that you're going to remind them about?

Because this is not a reminder that's like A ding on your phone that says

the meetings in five minutes, although that is a future oriented reminding

of sorts of before you need to be in a certain amount of time, what we're

talking about is something more future oriented about where we're going

and how we're going to get there and then reminding ourselves why we're

doing what we're doing along the way.

And We have a that unpacks the idea of reminders is called PEAK.

That's capital P E A K.

And so the reason we use that is, is that we want to envision

the peak of where we're going.

If you're thinking about climbing a mountain and the little flag is at the

top of the mountain, you're envisioning that peak and that is where you are headed

and you want to remind your team of where you're going and why you're going there.

And so what that acronym stands for is purpose.

Expectations, accountability, and keeping it simple.

And when we go and we think through, when we think through reminders and

we think through that idea, we think through those topics, we're really

wanting to keep those main ideas and focuses that is our reminders.

We go back and I love the idea of purpose that includes that vision and

that peak, like, why are we doing what we're doing and where are we going?

and I think as families, that's really important.

I love particularly in the book, and this is such an important

thing if you ever, if you're reading the book, or if you maybe missed this,

if you have already read it, go back to that chapter where it talks about

the purpose, because in the book, In the workplace, Scott reminds his

team of why they are working for this particular company, and so they have,

and I'm not going to spoil it, no spoiler alert, but they basically go in their

workplace and tell all these stories.

So what I love about this is You really have to think through the purpose of your

own family if you're leading your family and one way I'll just give an idea of

what you did years ago and you spent a lot of money printing it out professionally

and then framing it and then we have it

in our school room, but it was our

family's core values and what I loved about that when you did that.

Was because it

gave purpose to who we are

as the Burnett family.

And I know other families call them different things.

They might call them purpose statements or in some families have three

and sometimes families have five.

I think we have eight.

And, again, with the acronym, doesn't have to be too hard.

You don't have to have 25 cause you're never going to remember them

with the cake, keeping it simple.

I think it's super important.

But,

that is one thing I think that established is a lot of

purpose in our family.

What do you think about that

to having this overarching like understanding of what the family

is supposed to look like and where you're wanting to go with the family.

if you are.

If you're going to have a lot of kids, if you can have a few kids, if you're going

to, are you more inclined to athletics or music or, academics or all the above,

or are you skilled at this craft or do you want your kids to be artisans?

I mean, there's just a lot of, and some of that's going to be, Hey,

it may be that we're just going to get to know our kids and really

understand where they're interested in.

And.

And giftings lie, and that's what we're going to pursue as a family.

So I think, I think just being open to that and understanding, like having

a clear picture, I think it's really, there was a book that we read recently.

That was very interesting from a parenting standpoint.

And it said, and I think this goes back to that purpose is that can

you answer the question, what do you want the relationship with your

children to look like when they're 25?

And how would you paint the picture of your family?

Cause I think if you have young kids, I think it's so easy when you have, we

had three kids, three and under at one time and like, man, when you're in the

trenches like that, it's just so hard to.

Holy smokes, just survive much less have a

You're like, Whoa,

anybody has little kids like that, they're like vision.

I'm just trying to get through the diaper phase here.

Good grief.

But I think that the idea is that what are we doing now to set us up

for having a strong relationship with our kids when they're 25, because

they're going to live more time with us at that point in time, probably.

as we age and they age, then they are in the first, 15 to 20 years of their life.

So hopefully, and I think that's one of the things from a purpose

standpoint is really just keeping the end in mind from a family standpoint.

And that's something that people may just not think about, what does my

family look like when my kids are 25?

And what I, what do I want it to look like and how do I want us to interact?

and, how, what's our kind of our dynamic.

So what do you think about that?

Yeah, I love it.

When you're starting to talk about purpose and honing in.

who your family is and who you want your family to

look like and be.

Sometimes we don't have control over how many

children we have and all that, but as you're moving towards and through each

stage of ages of parenting and all of that with your family, and even if you

don't have children, even if it's just you and your spouse, You have to think

through what are the things that we like to do, what are the things that

we aspire to do, and I think early on it reminds me of when, Dallas, you

and I have always been into music and singing and playing out and , we've been

invited to sing and play in a lot of different venues, but we wanted

early on for that to be the case and be a sense of purpose, in

our family, that music would be

Yes.

in our family.

And so when each girl was six, we decided we knew at that point

that they could hear pitch.

They weren't tone deaf.

because because in reality, sometimes you might say, oh, I want our family to

be musical and maybe that's possible.

If they're tone deaf, they can play like the piano where

it didn't have to be tuned.

But, I think you have to be realistic too in

guiding them to, get to that purpose or goal or

whatever you want to call it.

But essentially you and I set out to say, okay, we're going to start them all in the

fiddle when they're around six and a half.

And so that has transpired from

six and a half with each child now to us

having a family band and we love it.

And we play out and we play, with other family members of all ages.

And it's just almost become a language that our family speaks,

which also becomes a rhythm of our home and a rhythm of our life.

So I think that gives.

A lot

of shape to what it looks like to

yeah, yeah.

And our

in our, family.

I would like to interject on that because I feel

like that with music, I think this is, goes to a broader sense when we

talk about reminding, individuals in the family of their purpose.

One of the things we want to do is create kids that are.

Productive members of society where we are trying to parent them in a way that when

they become adults, they're not shocked at adulting it, that they integrate well

and that they're able to be successful.

And if you're going to be a productive member of society, you, your

mindset has to be, right and strong.

you have to be grounded and you have to have discipline and understand the value

of hard work and these types of things.

And so when you have a vision for your family.

we use music as a training ground almost for understanding and

building self discipline, because if you're going to be a good musician,

you have to put in the time.

It's just, you really have to put in the time and practice.

At the end of the day, this has been a tool that we've used.

Now you could use athletics to, to do that.

You could use any type of activity, work or art or any other time,

or art.

can

be used.

But I think that's the idea is if you're leading your family,

what is the vision that you have for your children?

And it doesn't necessarily have to be an occupational.

I want them to be a doctor or a lawyer or some, entrepreneur or whatever.

It's more about, what are the attributes of a person that makes them, A productive

member of society and happy and, able to handle, be strong and handle hard things.

And then how am I introducing that to them in our family to help them

grow as they grow and obviously it's different at every level of, their ages,

but yeah, I think that's interesting.

Well, getting back to the

idea of the core values.

I wouldn't mind

just mentioning a couple, because I think if people haven't gone

through the discipline of.

Putting down three core values, if you've never done this before, I think

it would be nice to like hone in.

What do you want the

purpose of your family to be?

What are those important values for your family?

Because this whole topic that we're talking about is

reminders.

So you have to

know what you

want to remind

about,

that's,

yeah, I would agree with that.

I think that transitions really well, those core values.

So when you have the big purpose idea for the family, I think those core

values transition really well into the expectations, because we are saying

as a family, we have certain minimum.

A minimum, threshold of expectations that also define, set the boundaries of what it

means to be in this crew, in this group.

And I think that, I think the core values go a lot, into expectations

and can help you set expectations.

And they also filter over into holding, holding people accountable,

for certain things when they get out of bounds on those things.

So I think they both.

they hit on all three, the purpose, the expectations and accountability.

I've always been, a very big fan of how you, handled our daughter.

So we have three daughters now they are 14, almost 13 and almost 11.

So we, we've gotten at least into the teen stage.

And but when they were little and I remember, and I was actually

sharing this on another show.

On a different podcast, about two weeks ago, but when they were

little, I just remember, taking them all to the grocery store.

And so many parents is like worst nightmare is taking their kids

to the grocery store because it's like, Oh my goodness.

we've got this, three year old, a two year old, a newborn, and I'm

supposed to go get groceries, but you just manage that really well.

And I think it's a great example of.

Just setting expectations because you had these three little, three little

babies that could have been all over the place, but you tell everyone how

you manage that environment of chaos.

Mhm.

Well, in all honesty, we've all been in the grocery store for women or men with

a and you've seen a child in a buggy and they're standing up and they're

falling out and then they're going to the emergency room because they have this like

traumatic like brain injury or something.

And so that was always my biggest.

fear and I think sometimes fear drives what we decide to do something about.

So I always thought, okay, this cannot be chaos.

certainly our house is most always chaos, like somebody's running around

and yelling and screaming, but going to the grocery store cannot look like

that because then I'm going to be in the emergency room with a head injury

or somebody's falling out of the buggy.

I, on the way to the grocery store, I just gotten, or anywhere we

would go really for that matter.

For years, I would say, Hey, while I've got y'all, we're buckled in and I

do, as a side note, I think that's the greatest time to spell out expectations

for young children, even gosh, as they start growing older, because they're

buckled in, they can't run anywhere.

And if you don't have a show on, then you have their undivided attention.

But I would always on the way to the grocery store to say, Hey, we're

going to go to the grocery store.

And I would say, this is what we're going to do.

We're going to walk in.

We're going to hold hands.

We are going to smile at people if we see them, if they say, Hey, how are you?

you could say, I'm fine.

Let's practice that.

And we would practice and say, Eva, how are you today?

Little girl.

Oh, I'm fine.

Thank you.

How are you?

We would just be so silly and do all these little role plays.

And they were like, Let me think, Everly was a baby, so she was in a car seat,

and Ellis was two, and Eva was three.

And so, I literally thought, what am I doing?

and honestly, I think that it takes more energy to spell out all of those

expectations, and I think it, my grocery trip was obviously longer than if I had

just Got in a babysitter and went by myself, which is therapeutic and wonderful

to do, so I'm not saying don't do that because that's pretty great and get a

Starbucks while you're at it, while you're walking in the store, but I do think

that it made for a very easy transition for me to take them anywhere because

I would spell out, hey, we're going to the playground and if there's somebody

that's walking up at the same time as you.

Being kind looks like letting them go first, being selfish looks like

pushing them out of the way and going first yourself, and then so we would

talk about those kinds of things.

And I think that, being able to teach them what to expect and then remind them

what's important is such a great foundation on the pre

side of where you're going.

And then when you're on the way back home, they're going to, they're

going to start the conversation.

Then they're going to say, mama, yeah.

Boy or girl, push me down and I can say, Oh, how did that feel like?

how did you respond?

And it's

just this whole idea of constantly reminding them back

to the standard of what you want

in your expectations.

So anyways, I think that kind of sums up what you're asking about the

No, I think that's a great example and I love how you were able to

frame it up and not only, it wasn't about laying a rule down, you didn't go drill

Sergeant on them and I think this is a.

The tendency of us, when we get frustrated, especially if we've gone

to the grocery store and we've ridden there and the car is complete insanity

on the way there and you get there and you're already exhausted before

you even get into the grocery store.

It's I'm going to tell you what you sit still and you'd be

quiet, it's, that's real life.

but on the flip side, if you can take a minute pause, that is a

great example of how you can coach.

Coach kids early on.

And I think you did a fantastic job with that coaching the girls early on

in setting those, not only what your expectations on them, but what they

could expect when they get inside.

So if you meet someone, you should expect them to smile at you and you to

smile back or talk to them or be polite.

If somebody needs something, pick it up, whatever.

So I think that, but just, it just gives their little.

Tiny human brains, something to construct so that they're not caught off guard.

and I think that's just really good.

So I think that's, I think as it relates to reminders from our, from the

book lift, I think that's a fantastic example, especially as it relates to,

purpose and expectations, because you.

You just, it just, it helped them to know which way's up and what's

down and what's okay and what's not.

And then to have a ride car ride home, I think is another example.

you get a performance review, instead of waiting to the end of the year,

you get to wait till you get to the, end of the grocery store and you get

in the car and now you've got a 20 minute performance review that you can

have with your kids on the way home.

And it's again, it's not military.

You failed at this.

it's a conversation.

And, it's a conversation with your kids of what worked, what didn't

and what they saw and what they experienced and what did that line

up to the reality and expectations that you had laid out for them.

So I think that's all very valuable for kids and raising the level

of expectations on your kids.

A lot of times you'll see them rise to meet those

expectations more often than not.

At least that's been.

my experience, would

you agree

hmm.

Yeah.

I so agree with that.

And I think that I could give a million examples of other times.

I was telling you earlier about when we went to Disney World.

We've only taken our girls one time.

When they were little, I think our youngest was five and then maybe

a seven and eight year old and

you know, at Disney World, you walk in.

Everybody's

tired.

unbelievable.

It's like they want the icy, but they

Oh my

bar.

It's the

So I was a little bit terrified.

I had gone as a child a

couple of times.

And I loved it.

I lived it up and I thought it was great, but I was a little bit concerned

with their ages being so close and then just all the things and being so tired.

And I just really wanted us to have a great peaceful family time.

And Leading up to that trip.

I'll just real quickly say I try to think how can I give expectation of what

it will feel like when we get there to be surrounded with so many different

lights and cameras and shows and, drinks and, characters and all of that.

Like, how could I simulate that and give them expectation for that?

And then hopefully avoid the meltdown.

And We would do art, every day and we would draw pictures of what it

would look like to be the most happy person at Disney World or happy child.

And then we would also have pictures that we draw when they were that age.

And it would suggest a little child in the middle of all these, toys and characters

and I think, and they were crying.

And so I remember us talking about why they would be crying.

And so we talked about contentment and how.

Oftentimes, our world tells us we need everything to be content, but in fact,

when you have too much of everything, you actually have a tummy ache, and

then you're actually tired because you didn't go to bed, and, boundaries are

really probably not my strong point to be talking about, to be honest with you,

if you know my personality, but in this case, I can speak to it because it's,

it Giving expectation of contentment.

That was just a great way.

We'd even brought in the art piece just to say, hey, you don't

need everything to be happy.

We're just happy to be here.

And I think I remember telling the girls we

weren't going to buy all the things that they have on the side

of the streets at Disney World everywhere for you to buy.

We weren't going to buy any of that.

We were just going to go.

And so I just had told him

we're not going to buy any of that because we already have stuffed animals.

at home.

we don't need any of that.

And so when we got there, it wasn't this, there

wasn't this constant barrage of Hey, can I buy that stuffed

animal?

Or, Hey, can I buy that glittery sparkly wand?

I remember, and this really cracked me up.

And I know you remember the stouse, but we came to

the end of our week at Disney world and they had not asked for one

thing to buy, which was hilarious.

And you said, did y'all, they have been

so good.

I will buy them.

Anything in this park and I said what we already talked about it You

aren't gonna want to buy them all

I was

and you said I will buy them anything And so

literally you went in the store whatever store that was it

I'll never forget you said girls pick out one thing anything and I

was like god They're gonna pick out like 100 like

cheetah or something

a little bit concerned with that

but anyways, you were just But you were so amazed,

and I think that the great thing is for us as parents to know is

parenting is the hardest, best thing.

And it's not always a straight line, but if we can do our best on the pre

side to think through giving them great expectations and then reminding them,

which goes into that next letter of your peak analogy, Dallas, accountability.

You're basically reminding them.

You're bringing them back.

You're saying, Hey.

What does it look like to be content?

You don't really need that.

What do you, what does it look like to be happy?

Is it eating 10 icies?

No, it's not.

Okay.

So let's just be content with the one sucker we have.

I just think in parenting particularly, there's so many things that the world

tells us that we need and we just have to constantly rebuild the expectation,

which is the E that we're talking about in this whole acronym peak.

And, and then moving on to the next letter, the A just being accountable

to, to keep us on track with that.

But it's not easy.

It's just not easy, especially when go everywhere and

you see all the things

that the world

the bright and shiny objects.

I think that goes for everybody, not just the kids.

But I also think that you painted, a very interesting,

you shared a tool right there.

And I don't want people to miss that as a reminder and a use of a reminder.

And it is something that you, when we talk about, we've had.

performance experts, mental performance coaches and things

on the last 10 percent before.

And one of the tools that athletes use quite a bit is the, this

technique called visualization.

And if you hear of any high performing athlete, you'll hear them talk

through whether it is, playing a football game or a golf shot or

whether it's climbing Mount Everest.

there's this thing that they are.

Preparing mentally by going through the exact thing that they're about

to go through a step at a time.

And it's, and it just makes it more real to them in that moment.

I think your brain can't really tell the difference between something

that you're creating mentally.

And then the real thing, a lot of times, because it's.

It's processing those things the same way.

That's why visualization is so powerful.

And so when you're talking with the girls, I love the example where

you're sitting them down and you're saying, okay, let's draw pictures of

happy kids and why are they happy?

And they're visualizing all these things that they're doing at Disney world.

AKA not buying a bunch of junk, from Mickey mouse on the sidewalk.

Oh my gosh.

Don't get me started.

And then, but they're happy.

And these are the reasons that they're happy.

They're visualizing that.

So their brain is automatically locked step into that environment.

And then you're drawing a picture saying, okay, why are these kids

sad and they got all this stuff?

Why would a kid be sad if they're holding all these things, And then

you're painting that picture and saying, oh, because they just.

It's a bottomless pit.

They can't ever get enough.

then they automatically have that visualization.

So it's you're hardwiring that into their brain, reminding

them, this is what's important.

This is what's not important.

And then we're going to go and experience that.

And honestly, that was, I had forgotten until you just brought that up that I.

I'm not one to go and buy more stuffed animals by any means, because we

have plenty of those in our home.

But, in that particular moment, I really was, I was so proud.

They exceeded my expectations and in that week of time at, at Disney World,

and so I just wanted to reward them for that, and so we celebrated them exceeding

our expectations, which is just another.

way that I could remind them of a good job and the good attitude that they've had.

Because, when you're talking about, talking a lot about what we're

talking about in terms of family and raising children, we're really trying

to get into their heart and mind.

And if I can shape that heart and that mindset.

As they're younger, then it gets a lot easier as they get older to have

conversations, adult conversations.

if I don't, if I don't spend the time early on, then it obviously is

more difficult as they get older.

so yeah, so thanks for doing that at Disney world and, in our family on that.

It was really good reminders.

well, you were a part of it, too, but it was a great

example of what we're talking about.

I want to share real quick, Dallas, I had pulled up on my phone, our, some of

our core values, because listeners might be like, gosh, I would love to do some

core values, but I don't know what to do.

And so these are just some of the

things that we use, that you really wrote

And this was a long, this was a long time ago.

But

maybe 10 years ago or more.

Yeah, but no, I love them.

I think they're great.

cheerful obedience, complete honesty, respect for self and others,

play to win, walk with purpose, have fun and be present, always.

Do your best, pursue excellence, be a peacemaker, and then lastly, finish

what you start and finish strong.

And you can word those, you can copy ours, you don't have to even do these.

You might think that's too rigid and silly.

But what I would say is even if you had

two or three things, these will serve as really great Reminders for

your family.

when the girls were young, you would say, hey, pick a core value this week

and practice it, practice your cursive handwriting, or practice handwriting,

or practice spelling these words.

And I think that, again, the visualization's important,

but just, reminders, it's not even anything rocket science.

It's just just remind.

And just hearing that and having it up on the wall somewhere to see and

knowing like these, this is what makes you a Burnett, this is we love, we

talked about music, we, we love music.

That's some fun.

We engage him, but this is the kind of people we want to strive to be.

And just reminding them of that, I think is super important.

And then recently, I'll just say this, and you can talk about this Dallas.

I think it's another idea of just reminding the family of the way that,

you want to be and be known, is doing a family meeting and so we struggle with

that because all our schedules as we have teenagers now are

crazy.

It's I feel like a chauffeur.

Everybody's going different directions.

But one thing you've been wanting to do for a good long while now.

Is to do a more consistent family meeting, spelling out the

expectations for the next week.

who's going where?

What do we have going on?

And what games and, different things are we involved in for

the fall for the next week.

But 1 thing that we did recently

is tie it back to the

core values.

And, really, that was an idea from 1 of your sweet cousins.

We love them so much.

And if they're listening, they've been great supporters of you Dallas, but,

they recognize one core value that they had used during that week and to share

it with each other to get that core value in the minds of everybody even more.

And when one way that you had asked our family this week.

I'm going to you ask the girls,

Hey, what core value do you want to focus on this week?

And so

already.

I've heard the girls being like, no, Everly, you said you

were going to be a peacemaker.

Where's that?

And then she's

like, Oh, yeah, I

It gets real.

Did you

have any, do you guys?

Do you have anything to

No, I do.

I think that's a good point.

And I think that again, we, if you have a family, if you're leading a family, then

the biggest thing is it is that great families are not created by accident.

and what I mean by great is a relative term, but what I would say is that you

can substitute anything in that productive families, happy families, tight knit

families, whatever, all that, none of that you could put in any word you want.

It's not created by accident.

It's intentional.

And so you.

if you have a family, if you're leading a family, what I would encourage you

to do is to put a stake in, put a stake in the ground into what you actually

are going to be intentional about.

And that's really the reason that I wrote those core values years ago.

It was like, I just need something.

anything's better than nothing because at least, because it, if you have no values,

then what are you have no definition?

You have nothing that makes you.

So these core values hopefully provide some type of structure to

say, this is how we define, how we are as people and as a family unit.

And so I would say, as it goes to them growing up, yes, there were times

that they wrote those core values for, practicing their handwriting.

There was other times they wrote it because they absolutely.

did not meet expectations and they had to be held accountable for

that.

And

it's yes, you are going to fill this paper up with this core value.

And we're going to drill this in, we're going to get this right.

so they probably have a love hate relationship with our core values, but I

think now as they've gotten older, it's not like writing them, in a, notebook

as much as it is just bringing it to the forefront of their mind and really giving

them something to strive for themselves.

It's I want them to start coming up with what does walk with purpose

look like for you as you are playing soccer or playing tennis, or you're

going into schools or whatever, you don't go into youth group, whatever.

What does that look like to you?

You got to figure that out.

Not me.

You need to figure that out.

And so,

Yeah, I love it.

It's one of the greatest things for our family.

And I remember last year, Eva, our oldest went to camp in a quick story.

It cracked me up.

I was laughing so hard in my mind as I picked her up from camp and on the

way home, I hadn't seen her for a week.

But one of the first things that she told me was that she was

involved in some kind of game.

I basically gathered that her team quit and she said, mom, they didn't finish what

they started and finish strong.

And it was like, those words just came out of her mouth.

And I just laughed in my mind.

I didn't want to laugh at her, but like thinking it bothered her so much that

they quit and didn't even though they weren't going to win the game, they

didn't it was like a scavenger hunt or something silly they didn't finish.

And

that bothered her because she's that's

what you do.

And I thought, wow, they, these core values, there's

really something deeper to it.

Like it defines.

It defines what's

The expectation.

that's what we're talking

it just is a way to say what's important.

And what we say is these core values are very important and they're so important

that we're going to be consistent in how we talk about them, how we live

them out, how we strive to achieve them.

and I think that's.

that's a great example.

I forgot about that, but it's so true.

She was so bothered by that.

It's so funny now that you bring that up, but I think that's, I think

that's really important and here's what I would also say, and we'll

round it out with the last one.

So we've talked a little bit about.

We've talked about how we need a purpose as a family.

What does that look like?

We've talked about, how we can raise the expectations of our family and our kids

and ourselves and how important that is and how we need to be intentional and

how we have to have something to hold each other accountable by to give us

that definition that we can move forward.

And the last thing is, I would say is that.

So many times people get overwhelmed when you get into, talking about raising

family and kids, and there's just so many different books out there on the subject

and so many different talking heads on it.

You just get overwhelmed.

And I would say that's why we put the last letter in there on

peak is keep it simple is that.

It's better to do a little something really well consistently than try to

eat the elephant in one bite, try to do everything that you hear online or

everything that you read in books and try to implement all that at once.

So what I would say is one of the things that we have to do is make sure that

we, A, don't overwhelm our kids or ourselves because it's just easy to do.

We've got so much coming at us anyway, and B, we need to, whatever it is.

We need to keep it simple.

We just need to keep it simple.

If you have a rule, make it a very clear rule.

our rules was do not lie.

it's pretty straightforward.

Like you can't don't lie.

Do if you're going to not, if you're going to do anything, don't lie.

And, and so we have, these core values, but we had a whole lot more

do this versus don't do, And I think that one of the things that even

with the core values, they're all about, three or four or five words.

And the girls could probably recite them off the back of their hand.

I probably wouldn't even have eight.

Now, if I went and rewrote that list, I might have less, but, but yeah,

you just want to keep it simple.

And so if you can be simple and consistent, I think that's better than

trying to implement every idea that you run across on raising your kids.

No.

Danielle Burnett: generalizable to the workplace.

you can see it sometimes more easily in your workplace.

you wouldn't go and create a hundred rules for your team at work and

then expect them to follow them.

We have to take that and drill it back down to the family unit and say,

okay, how can we be successful here?

What are some things that we want to be and remind our family that we,

that of who we are and just keep it

simple.

I think that is, that's, that is so important to

keep it

so simple.

yeah.

And it goes back to even this example, you shared about our family meetings.

Now we keep the family meeting short.

And it's something as simple as just reminding each other of a core value

that we want to get better at or where we are in a goal that we've set

or what our schedule for the week is just so that we know who's on first.

Cause everybody's going in so many different directions now.

And so just having that, just a moment.

which we'll get into, later and another section routine of that

reflection and planning, is so helpful.

So we'll talk about some other things from Lyft as it relates

to family down the road.

Some, we've got a lot of great, podcasts coming up and this spring.

And so we've got some really great guests that we want to share with everybody.

But, Danielle, do you have anything else you want to share about

Lyft as it relates to the family?

I appreciate your time on the show today.

Well, I think we're gonna be to be continued because you

have two more sections in the book that I think are really relevant

to the family and how, just small little things that we can implement

Make our families more successful and really

Yeah, we'll have to see how this one goes.

if this one goes over well, maybe we'll do those sooner than later.

But, I think those sections will be very good as it relates to, as

it relates to creating, shaping.

Or strengthening the culture of your family.

And so that's, that's something that Lyft is really good at doing for work,

but you can take those concepts and apply them directly to your family.

And if you've waited this far in the episode, I might as well tell you We've

got a something cool that's coming out.

Lyft is actually now on audio book.

if you just say, I can't read, I just, Hey, even if it's a fable

and it's a short, so I can't do it.

I listened to all mine.

Congratulations.

We got Lyft on audio book.

And so we are going to be sharing soon a link, for you to be able

to listeners the last 10 percent to be able to download that.

And we actually have a few that will be able to download it for free.

So if you're one of the first people to do that, we'll put a.

An ad or commercial on this episode that will tell you more about that.

But anyway, if, whether or not that ad is going on, or you listen to

this down the road, Lyft is now available on audio book and you

can find that on Amazon or Audible.

thank you again, Danielle, for being on the show today and we appreciate

it and look forward to having another conversation about Lyft and family soon.