Your voice doesn’t always feel steady, and in high-stakes moments, it can feel like it has a mind of its own. In this episode, Klaudia Mitura sits down with Judith Quin, voice coach and vocal confidence specialist, to explore what it really means to liberate your voice and speak with presence, not perfection.

This is a conversation about taking up space without getting louder, understanding what a “small voice” sounds like when we feel we don’t belong, and using Judith’s practical vocal resets to calm the nervous system fast.

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Hello, happiness seekers. Welcome to the Happiness Challenge podcast. I'm Claudia Mitura and I'm on a mission to explore the best happiness hacks that science has on offer.

Like so many others, the pandemic cut me off from my family and work. So I decided to use my training as a psychologist to discover what science can tell us about the art of happiness.

What I found set me on the path to joy, and now I'm ready to share my journey with you.

Each month I'm publishing three linked episodes where I'm speaking to a leading expert, putting their tips to the test and sharing my findings and feelings.

From mindfulness to exercise and random acts of kindness, I'll be sharing a light on the simple happiness habits that can bring more joy to our lives.

What's very exciting, you can Also now find 26 science backed principles on how to create create more happiness at work in relationships and in your own skin in my new book, the Alphabet of Happiness. So join me as I embark on my challenge and together we can become more successful, resilient and happy. Hello, happiness seekers.

Welcome to this month's Happiness Challenge when we are exploring what it really means to embrace your own voice, speaking with presence, authenticity and ease, even when you are feeling uncertain or imperfect.

I am absolutely delighted to be joined by Judith Quinn, voice coach and vocal confidence specialist who helps people stop shrinking, take up more space, and speak in a way that feels grounded and true to who they are. So in today's episode, we'll explore what taking up space really sounds like, how small shifts in breath and tone can change how you feel fast.

And Judith will also guide us through a simple vocab reset. You can try straight away, so let's dive in. I am super excited. Welcome, Judith.

Thank you so much for having me. It's a delight to be here.

Okay, Judith, this entire idea of take up space, someone is listening and thinks, I literally don't know how to take up space space in those situations when I really would like to. What are the kind of observable vocal physical markers of small versus spacious presence in your experience?

The first thing I want to say, which is really important, is that taking up space doesn't have to equal loud. There are a lot of people who think that to take up space vocally that means being louder, being bigger than others. It's not.

So the markers more are about having presence and gravitas in your voice. So the physical markers of that would be like.

So like I'm doing now, allowing yourself to take up time with your voice when you're speaking very often, and this is quite annoying for some people, and I've actually had some people rage against me for saying this, but having your voice in a deeper frequency for you. So again, you can probably hear my voice is resonating here in my deep space today because I'm deliberately showing this.

So taking up time, having your voice sitting in this more resonant, slightly deeper space. And the other element is to actually finish your sentences without going up or down at the end.

So when you're speaking that, in the theatre world, we call it speaking to the end of the sentence, so people hear and feel the full stop when you've finished.

I love that. So very practical. Straight away Markers that we can apply of this idea of finishing with the. Is it the same tone? Not necessary.

It's very much about giving gravitas to each of the words we're saying. Is that what that last tip is?

Yes, definitely. Like allowing yourself to. To let your voice reflect what you know rather than.

And this is the challenge, because our voice is a reflection of our thoughts and feelings about ourself and our thoughts and feelings about ourself in relation to the situation we're in and the people we're with.

So if we either consciously or subconsciously feel, oh, goodness, I don't quite belong here, or if we feel that we are unworthy in some way, or we don't belong, then that's when the vocal ticks might appear, which very often, in terms of uncertainty, will sound. Or a smaller voice will sound like a quiet voice.

So literally, just like being very quietly spoken or softly spoken, it might sound like a mumbled voice.

So that's people who just don't open their mouths very wide when they're speaking because it's like, oh, my goodness, it might sound like a voice at the back of your throat. So that's people who speak back here.

And it's like I'm asking and if you can hear in my voice now, whenever you're speaking here, you can't help but an upward inflection happens at the end of your sentence and so it sounds like you're questioning yourself. So that's what a smaller voice sounds like.

So the more present, open, spacious voice, literally open your mouth wider and let your voice take up more space.

Love that. Very practical.

So coming back to those situations when we might be feeling stressed, flat or overwhelmed, because we are maybe in a situation where it's difficult for us to be in that space, what would be one or two small voice changes that can shift our emotional state quite quickly.

Excellent. I have an exercise that I take into companies, I have a talk, I take into companies called the 15 second stress reducer.

And the first one is breath work. There's a reason breath is the center of all meditation.

Because when you slow down your heart rate, you slow down the rate at which adrenaline is being pumped through your body. So you slow down the rate at which adrenaline is going to your brain, going, oh my God, I don't want to speak in this situation.

So lots of people start breath work with breathing in. I always start with breathing out out, because you have to make space first. So breathing out through your mouth is really important.

And when you breathe out, making sure your ribs and your belly are coming back in towards your spine, Then breathing in through your nose, long and slow and feel your ribs and your belly expand. So if listeners are doing this, now place a hand on your belly and a hand on your ribs and. And literally breathe out through your mouth.

So you sound like the sea, like the waves going out. And then breathing in through your nose, long and slow, and do that maybe five times, really slow down that heart rate.

It'll slow down the rate at which your brain is working. It'll help you slow down the pace at which you're speaking because you're in a slower state. So that's one very practical tip.

I'm going to give three because I'm cheeky. The second is you can enhance that with a really gentle vocal warm up.

Very often people don't warm their voices up before going into these speaking situations. So the simplest warmup you can do, which is also stimulates the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system is the hum.

So for this I invite the listeners to place their hand on their chest and breathing out, breathing in. And then hum any note, any tone, but preferably low and slow, wherever low is for you.

Oh, that feels so nice.

Yeah. So focus on feeling the vibration. And if you can't feel a vibration in your chest, that's okay.

That's probably a mental emotional block, which means you don't like hearing your voice and you don't want people to hear that you care. There's a whole load of subconscious stuff that goes on with the voice. If you're interested, get in touch.

So if you can't feel it in your chest, that's okay. Just allow yourself to feel the vibration and low tone for you, wherever that is. For some people, low might be. That's okay, right?

It's not a Singing lesson. But so humming. So do three low slow hum. And if you find humming difficult, say the word hum and just let the m linger Hum.

And the humming literally physically stimulates the vagus nerve and gets the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of your nervous system which, which is the rest and relax system to literally change your vibration. And your voice is vibration. You are also warming up your vocal cords here with the hum. Especially in nervous speaking situations.

Always warm your voice up. My background's 20 years as a classically trained actor. Always give your voice a warm up before you speak, even if it's 30 seconds.

So this is the other tip I want to give you. So do the breath, do the hum and then do something silly with your voice.

Whether that is or going or if you're feeling really nervous or if there's someone in that meeting on that situation you don't like,.

Or if you've just.

Come from a situation where your, your brain's still a little bit going, just play with your voice. You might laugh at yourself, you might feel self conscious, but actually what that will do even if you're laughing at yourself.

Laughter is the highest vibration sound humans can and it will put you in a more endorphin state. So you'll go in feeling brighter and in a better energy.

Oh my God. Love all of those tips and especially that they are so science based, right? They very much science based.

And you have explained so clearly how it connects to the state of our body which is so important. And you write often we go into those situation and we really only thinking with mind. I'm on the stage, I'm presenting in front of powerful people.

I need to get that deal or promotion.

We always in our mind rather than actually thinking, let me reconnect with my nervous system and come back to my body to be ready to speak up and take up space in that specific situation. So you have already mentioned some of the body aspects here.

Is there anything else that you could point out when it comes to those physiologically what happens when our voice tightens and how does actually connect to well, being and happiness?

Yes.

So physiologically what happens is if you think of your vocal folds or that's the technical term, vocal cords, most people know them as they are about as big as your little fingernail, these tiny little muscles in there. And if you're not warming them up when we get nervous, our whole system goes into tension.

When we're stressed, nervous, uncertain, whatever that situation might be, it might be being in a video Meeting, it might be a one to one conversation. It could be telling someone you love them for the first time, right?

That speaking situations that are challenging isn't just public speaking, isn't just standing on a big stage. It might be a first date.

But if you think your whole body goes into tension, into stress, that includes your blood cells, so your vocal folds are included in that and they literally tighten. If you think of a violin or a guitar, when the strings are loose, you get that lovely resonant womp.

When the strings are overtight, you go, That's what physiologically, that's what's happening to your vocal cords and in your whole body. To support my acting career, I was a massage therapist.

So again, I could speak for days about the physiological impact of stress and tension, but we don't have days. So physiologically your voice is tightening, your heart rate is racing, so adrenaline is pumping through your body.

So you have physical tension, you have adrenaline. And if you are in this state on a regular basis, it has the same impact on your well being and happiness as any other stress, tension situation.

You are overloaded with toxic hormones charging through your body from the adrenaline, from the stress. It puts a toll on, on your physical, mental, energetic, emotional self.

And so I've worked with people who have been so stressed about speaking that they are on, they would take beta blockers before meetings. I had one client who every Thursday morning there was a meeting, team meeting and just literally sitting around the table presenting their results.

She was, she worked in pharmacological kind of stuff and they were testing things. I don't know what she did. And it was the test results and it's literally sitting around the table going, here are the results of my work this week.

And they had to take beta blockers every Thursday morning before going into that meeting. So that's the impact on well being and happiness. It can get to that stage.

The number of people I work with who before speaking, whatever a big speaking situation is to you, they let it impact them for two weeks, a month beforehand. It's all they think about. They're losing sleep and it doesn't have to be this way.

And it's one of the biggest challenges for people and I think it's one of the biggest places that gets missed, particularly in companies.

I have whole talks about how speaking impacts well being and happiness because the stress of speaking, there's so much that goes around it, oh, I can't speak up in that situation. I might pick, someone might disagree with me. What if they don't like my idea. What if they think I'm being difficult? Then I won't get promotion.

Then I did. And all of that tension. So there's a lot that comes with speaking.

Yeah, absolutely. But I think it all comes back to that physical stress has such an impact physically on our ability to speak in a way that is in line with us.

And coming back to the workplace situations when a majority of things happens by creating connections and talking to each other and therefore using our voices. What about this concept of people feeling they are putting on a voice?

Because once I was calling my friend and she picked up and I was like, what's with your voice? And she was like, that's my work voice. Yeah, that's my work voice. I'm like, you have a work voice. What's that about?

So I just wanted to ask you about this idea of putting on a voice. How can we sound actually more like ourselves in. In the workplaces?

So every human being does this. And what the first thing I want to say is, it's normal, it's natural, it's okay. Because we all have a different side of ourselves.

We are all multifaceted. So, yes, you might have a phone voice, you might have a work voice, you might have.

And because it happens naturally, because your voice will be different with people who you feel more relaxed and at home with. So your voice with your friends, your voice with your family, your voice with your boss.

However, if you feel you are putting on a voice, that's the challenge. So if your voice is reflecting. Actually, this is my professional side. That's okay. Because we're all multifaceted.

And actually, yeah, this is my professional side. This is how I like to show up if, however, you're putting it on as armor or if you're trying to.

And I actually had a conversation with someone about this yesterday who she works with people in the corporate space who feel like they. They don't belong largely because of their upbringing or their accent.

And the number of people who I work with who that act, they trying to put on another voice, that's when it's a problem. Because if you just have your. I don't know, you're picking up the phone. Good afternoon, Judith Quinn speaking. Okay, that's okay. And I. Oh, hello.

It's lovely. And it's just that polite space. That's okay. However, if it's impacting you and you feel like you are being inauthentic, that's the challenge.

So I invite you then to think about all the reasons that you belong in that space. Very often the put on voice is because we feel like we're asking ourselves, who am I? Who am I to be in this situation?

Oh God, I don't really feel like I belong. Oh, it's them, it's, oh, I'm speaking to the CEO, then I have to be, I have to be a certain way. I'm speaking to the chair of the board.

Oh, no, that means I have to be. They went to. Especially in this country, in the uk, it very often comes with social status as well.

If you know someone went to Oxbridge and you grew up on a council estate, right, it's a situation. I get a lot of clients who are in that sort of situation and so how do I speak to those people? So remember they're human beings firstly.

Remember that they're probably putting on some kind of a mask as well. Secondly. And thirdly, if you're asking yourself, who am I? Who am I to be here, who am I? Change that question. It's not who am I? It's who am I?

Think of all the reasons that you were chosen for, especially in the workplace, why did they choose you for that job? Why are you in that role? What skills, knowledge, experience are you bringing and allow yourself to embody you.

And being authentic doesn't equal sharing all your emotions in a professional space. I'm not saying you can't be emotional in a professional space, that's a whole other thing. But you don't have to.

Being authentic, like I am a deeply spiritual person. A lot of my work, the vocal sound healing part of my work, I work with chakra energies. I talk about higher self and I will take that, I take that.

When I did a workshop in the bank of England, when I do a workshop at the insurance companies, I will mention it so that I'm not hiding it. And then I go, but don't worry, I'm not going to waft sage all over you. We're here to talk about impact and influence.

So it's allowing your voice to not be hiding the things that you think people are judging negatively about you. And very often that's about accepting the whole of who you are yourself first. And that's deep self awareness work.

And that's the real juicy stuff that I do is all around identity and who you believe you are and who you are now, not who you used to be, not the labels that you've put upon yourself or other people put on you.

I really relate to this concept of belonging because I've been in the UK 20 years and again, this idea of having an accent. And I definitely met people who moved to the UK and specifically were taking classes of removing their accent and to belong.

Because the moment you speaking, of course, people hear that you come from a different country.

And I always found that really interesting because for me, this is, as you said, who I am and I accepted, therefore I do have an accent, and I'm okay with that.

So it's really interesting that the voice often reflects what are we thinking inside about ourselves, our identity and our strengths as well, and whether we feel we belong into a space. So, yeah, really love that point of that sense of belonging to Judith, final couple of questions, really. Any other top tips for a vocal reset?

We already started with three practical ones. Is there anything else that people can try maybe before difficult conversation?

Yes. Clarity creates confidence. So be clear on what you want to say. Be clear on the one main thing you want to get out of that challenging conversation.

And especially if this is a situation where maybe you feel aggrieved or that you're. You've got several issues and you're like. And get rid of the. And be. Have real clarity on the one thing you want to get out of that situation.

Because clarity will create confidence and allowing yourself to write it down.

If you're going into a conversation or a meeting or whatever it is, or delivering a talk, have your bullet points of your points that you want to say and practice saying it out loud before you go in, especially if it's something difficult or that you might get emotional about. And when I say emotional, that includes angry, frustrated. It doesn't just mean teary. Practice saying it out loud so that it's.

You've expressed it and you go, oh, gosh, no.

Those emotions know what's going to come up and keep saying it until it feels like it sits in your body rather than just words coming from your mouth so that. So that it's in your muscle memory as well as in your emotional safety space.

Yeah, I love the idea of practicing out loud.

I often do that for lots of different presentations, and I think it's one of the best things we can really do also in terms of making sure that we're choosing the right words to express. Sometimes I would say things out loud and then think, oh, actually it sounded much better in my head.

I need to change even the language to project and express myself in a more maybe kinder way. But often it's in a more clear way. Judith, my final question on the happiness challenge is of course about happiness.

So my final question to you is, what makes you happy?

So many things.

My cat coming every, every time I come home to my cat, she sat on my lap at the moment as we record because she's just jumped in, she wants to go for a walk around the garden. So I come home and then she mews at the back door until we just walk down. The garden. Always makes me happy.

My niecelets who are my I have older nieces who I adore as well, they make me happy too.

But my young niecelets who are just nine and seven, when I walk through their front door, the way they launch themselves at me for hugs makes me happy. And being in nature in all sorts of ways, I've literally just come back from the Amazon jungle. Oh, just. And being on horseback and being on stage.

I love being on stage. All of those things make me delightfully happy.

What an incredible list. And Judith, you are incredible on stage.

I did see you at the speak and shine talking about your stories, but also doing all of the energy prep for us before we went on stage. So I know what the amazing energy and stage presence you have. Thank you so much Again, thank you so much for coming today.

If listeners would like to find out more about you, where can they find more information on LinkedIn?

I'm Judith Quinn with One N Vocal Confidence. I am your whole voice on many other social medias and my website is your whole voice. I've got freebies on there galore.

So take a look around and if you love it, come play.

Brilliant. Thank you so much, Judith, again and have a wonderful the rest of the week.

Thank you very much.