Reframing stressful situations can help reduce the anxious feelings in our bodies. By recognizing without judgment what we are struggling with mentally, we can process the experience in healthier ways.  In Episode 8, Part 2 of 2 of Finding Your Balance: A Mental Health Podcast presented by Peace River Center and Southeastern University, Kirk and Tiffani share their experiences with handling anxiety and offer tips to help de-escalate the mental imbalance it causes.  

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Thank you for joining us today for part two of our two part series as we take a

look at anxiety disorders. Early in my career on like a Friday afternoon I got a

call from my new boss at the time never met her you know brand new boss and she

said hey I want to meet with you on Monday and I thought oh no right so

immediately going to like what have I done And I know I had done nothing because

I'd yet to meet her, right? She was brand new to this particular department, but

there was this sense of fear and dread associated with what could it be,

right? And so it's really easy if you struggle with anxiety to go down the spiral

of overanalyzing and thinking back and talking through, "Okay,

it could be this or it could be that. It could be that." And re -planing your

mind, you know, all of the different ways you could have handled this differently.

Right. And so I remember in that moment, actually, we were going on a vacation that

weekend, and I had this moment of, "Okay, there's nothing that I can do right now

to influence whatever our meeting’s gonna be about on that day, right? Like, I don't

know what it's gonna be like who could say am I going to allow this fear of what

I don't have control over and what I don't even know to ruin my weekend now

whatever is waiting for me on Monday is waiting for me on Monday I'm gonna have to

face it so I'm gonna come to work on time I'm gonna show up professionally dressed

I'm gonna be my best version of myself so there are things that I can do But in

this moment, is there anything? And the answer was no.

And so I put that on the shelf and I said, "It will be waiting for me on Monday

morning "and I will pick it up on Monday morning." But right now, there's nothing.

And I can remember in school, in college, maybe you miss a deadline, or maybe an

assignment is late, or maybe something is outside of your control, or you're late

for class, or whatever it may be. Right. And I remember, you know, some specific

moments of, okay, I've submitted the paper and what is done is done. And I'm either

gonna get an A or not. I'm either gonna pass this or I'm not. But what I've done,

I can do, or what I can do, I've done. And now I've got to let it go. And maybe

if there's something that, you know, you possibly go to or just there's nothing you

can do right this minute. You know, if it's 10 o 'clock at night, what can you do

about anything, right? - Exactly. - And so, you know, making that mental note of,

okay, I'm gonna check back in tomorrow, but I need to go to sleep right now.

There's nothing I can do at midnight. There's nothing I can do at one in the

morning. I could stay up all night worrying, but how will that benefit me, right?

It won't. And so, I think staying in your time zone is key. Another thing is

really, you know, We call it reframing or relabeling what's happening, but really

being observant of like, well, what is really going on?

Because I know sometimes when we're having an emotionally reactive state, we may

interpret things in a way that's not quite right. - Exactly. - You know? - Yeah,

because with the stress, with the anxiety, Our perceptions are off and I know having

worked with some folks that have been through some traumatic incidences, their

perceptions are very much off and in some of the work that I've done with law

enforcement, that's one of the key points I mentioned is, you know, your eyewitness

testimony that they're gonna, it is gonna change because I, there's been a couple of

times where I've been asked, is this, do you wits and this may be lying, their

story changes slightly, and in some cases, that is, you've got to pay attention to

those changes. In some cases where the victim is concerned, it changes because the

traumatic event, the stress, the anxiety has lessened, and so now new information

comes forward or the information has adjusted because it's not, the perception has

changed. So, where somebody might be asked what size of a gun was,

you know, and they say, "It was huge and it's like the size of a bazooka," and

then you finally get the actual weapon, and it's real tiny,

and that's because of our perceptions of time and items' changes. Right,

and so I think just being mindful of that And also understanding that sometimes when

we're in that anxious state, you know, we go straight to the worst-case scenario,

right? You know, if I'm feeling anxious about a test or if I'm feeling anxious

about a work assignment, well, I'm going to fail. I'm going to bomb. And then, you know,

you spiral because of this, then I'm going to lose my job, then I'm going to get

kicked out, then no one will love me, and then I'm going to die alone. And then

you just spiral. And I call that catastrophizing, It's making the worst case scenario

and that's what you focus on and that's what happens for a lot of people who Are

in the realm of the anxiety they they look at the worst case scenarios and can't

seem to get out of that That loop that they get stuck in well and when that

happens We have to do something to break that loop and sometimes it's as simple as

like what we call fact checking Okay, I am nervous about this test.

I am feeling anxious, but it's a test and I've, I've prepared the best that I can

prepare. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. It's gonna, you know, I'm gonna pass, I'm

gonna fail. Whatever it is, I'm okay. I'm safe, you know, grounding yourself and you

know, acknowledging, yeah, I do feel nervous, but also acknowledging whatever the

outcome, I'm going to be okay. Right, and - Right, and putting it in a reframe

that's realistic. 'Cause if you waited 'til like an hour before taking the test and

okay, to study, then yes, you've got some real worry there.

It's, if the anxiety at the beginning helps you to study and prepare for the test,

yeah, it's okay, you're still gonna be nervous.

Therapy, talking about stress, doing all these relaxations, not meant to take it away

because it's such a part of the human condition to have that stress. It does move

us. That's a survival technique. It's what motivates us to get things done.

We need that to get things done because if we didn't have it, we'd be like lumps

in a log and Nothing would ever progress. - No moving forward. - No moving forward,

exactly. So we need that stress to make that change and prepare us. So it's okay

to be nervous. It's okay to be stressed out.

It's okay to be anxious too. It's just when it starts to impact, if you can't

study, you can't take the test. Now it's impacting your ability to function.

- And you're no longer in control. - You're no longer in control. So your emotions

are controlling you. So it's very really good ideas like taking that moment to take

a step back and looking at the facts here okay. Are the thoughts getting ahead of

me? Am I catastrophizing? I can't predict the future. Oh I don't have a number two

pencils therefore I'm gonna fail this test. Well time out. There's other number two

pencils. Right. Let's try and find something different. It's not maybe not the exact

pencil you want, but things like that. So taking that moment, getting yourself into

that ability to train your brain to come up with rational ways to deal with an

appropriate struggle, those anxious thoughts, and reel it back in and make it this

is what I have, like you said. Well, and sometimes, like we talked about breaking

that loop, Sometimes it can be very simple, standing up, going to get a glass of

water, walking around, moving your body, doing something.

Sometimes it requires more intentional efforts. I've talked to folks who, they go

into the restroom and they splash some cold water on their face, or it was

something to break that loop. Sometimes it's using intentional grounding techniques.

We've talked previously about the five, four, three, two, one. If that is too

complicated to remember, there's another rule. It's called the three, three, three

rule. That's three things you see. So you look and say ladder, chair,

table. You pick three things that you can see. Three sounds you hear. Okay, I hear

a car. I hear the smoke detector. I hear my phone chiming.

And then three things three parts of your body that you move so tapping your

fingers standing up You know moving your leg and so that's activating different parts

of your body and so it redirects the energy from focusing on what's causing you to

stress in a non -life threatening way to focusing on something else and it gives you

a reset Exactly, and it it not only resets, but It grounds you in the present,

you know, and that, I can't stress that enough, you know, having that ability to be

present at that moment in time is such a, not only a gift to yourself, but those

around you, because you're there, you're experiencing that moment,

and a lot of our memories are linked to emotional aspects, and if you were anxious

and worried, you're going to remember it as a negative experience but if you're able

to take a step back and just be a non -anxious presence and just look around and

you're taking in so much more information then you realize when you're able to do

that in a relaxing way and things come to your mind much quicker. Well and I think

sometimes we forget how so closely our body and our minds are intertwined.

I know you've heard of this. Medical professionals, especially surgeons, sometimes they

use what's called the Superman pose, right? Or the hero pose. And so if you know

those listeners are not familiar with this, you know you stand up like Superman with

your hands on your chest and your shoulders back and there's something psychologically

that resets in your brain and gives you a sense of confidence and control and so

we don't realize sometimes our bodies are very intuitive and when we are feeling

anxious we tend to protect our upper bodies and so you know that's where our heart

and our lungs are because our bodies are wired to survive and so when you're

feeling anxious people typically tend to hunch and when they hunch over right what

are they doing they're protecting their heart and their lungs and they don't even

realize sometimes Our bodies are so smart because we are trying to survive.

And so a trick sometimes is to change your posture to a different way and that can

re -center how you think. And so for an immediate physical response, sometimes if you

know you stand up, put your shoulders back, you know, and sit or stand with your

feet apart and that redirects kind of really your energy and it gives you the sense

of control, and it sounds sometimes like, "Well, that can't be." Right,

right. But if you challenge it and try it, you'll notice there's something even

about your posture because your body is designed to survive. Exactly. And if you're

feeling the need to protect, all of your energy is being focused on surviving and

not on thriving. Exactly. And So not only posture how we hold ourselves,

but also what we put in our bodies is pretty important too So you want to be

careful especially if you're getting into something at some territory where you are

feeling anxious or feeling stress and It's anxiety provoking, you know You want to

stay away from things like caffeine? Because that too much caffeine while it helps

you in other ways It's not always good if you're stressed out and already anxious

because it's just going to make you more anxious because your body physically becomes

more anxious in sugars. Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar. Oh my goodness.

Stay away from the sweets. Although people feel that's a comfort food. I know for

me personally, you know, if I'm overly stressed out and you see me walking around

with a bag of peanut M &Ms, eating them like there's no tomorrow. That's a stress

moment. - That's an indicator. - That's an indicator. - And like breaking it down

like, what is it actually doing, right? So when you're feeling anxious or when

you're feeling stressed, it's not uncommon to feel jittery. It's not uncommon for

your thoughts. So, you know, it really be going 100 miles an hour. And if you have

caffeine or if you have sugar, that's a quick burst of energy, a quick burst of,

you know, go, go, go, and so you're flooding your body with more quick energy when

you're already going very fast in your head and it's not a good combination.

So if you are hungry, it's a lot better in those moments where you might be

feeling a little more anxious or a little more stressed than what might be healthy

for you, sticking to protein or sticking to water or sticking to something that's

gonna be a slower release of energy so you're not flooded. Because if you're already

feeling anxious and then you get flooded with more, that is not gonna be a pleasant

experience. - Yeah, but the reality is as a college student, you're running, running,

running, you gotta study for the next exam and there's the vending machine. - And

there's the coffee. - And there's the coffee, let it flow. And we get that, we get

that.

I'm happy to see more and more college campuses choosing more healthier things in

their vending machines than the sodas and the caffeine drinks. Caffeine drinks,

the energy drinks, super sweet, a lot of caffeine in those, so you want to be

careful of that kind of stuff. Your choices make a difference in what you put in

your body as to how it's going to help you through the anxiety you may be

experiencing. So recapping that there are a lot of ways to step in and help

yourself if you're experiencing symptoms of anxiety. And I think one of the ways

that really can't be emphasized enough is reaching out to your support system,

finding a friend, talking to someone you trust and talking to someone and saying it

out loud because sometimes there's power in saying something out loud.

I'm having a hard time. I'm feeling nervous. I'm feeling alone. I'm feeling anxious.

And when we say it out loud, we find that we're not alone. We find that those

support systems are there. We find that we're not a burden, right? We're someone

that deserves help, and we're someone that deserves support. And reaching out to

somebody that you trust, you know, to bounce an idea off of. Get a second

Did you just hear what I heard or did I mean you and I talk to each other all

the time about different things and we touch base and say hey Did that did you

hear what I just heard? And I think there's wisdom in that especially because then

again We've talked before about feeling like what I'm the only one experiencing this

or Not asking for help because we assume well, this is normal Well,

everyone's going through this and I think having giving yourself permission to say it

out loud to someone you trust, you can kind of figure out that base sign of,

"Yeah, this is a hard time and everyone's having a hard time, but we're in this

together," or, "I'm having a really hard time and I could use some extra support."

Yeah, absolutely, and, you know, being that friend on the other side,

being ready to listen, you know, because, "Yeah, we all have our anxieties and our

worries, "but it's good to, yeah, bounce that thought. "Hey, I got this exam, I was

like, 'Hey, this is what I did. "This is what you could do.' "And it could be

somebody that you could be the mentor "for the next person coming down the line, as

far as, "'cause you're not always gonna be a freshman. "You might be a sophomore or

senior some year." And then you can help the freshman coming in and they can go,

"Oh, Pearls of wisdom. Listen kid, this is what happened when I came in. Now it's

your turn. You've earned those pearls. And knowing that if something is said,

maybe your friend shares something and you feel like I don't know what to do, that

this is too much for me to handle. Knowing that as the friend, as the family

member, as the professor, you're not alone. There are a lot of resources out there

for support systems of people who might be struggling with anxiety and for starters,

if you're in our circle or system of care, Peace River Center is a community mental

health agency. We are ready to provide support. We operate a 24 /7 emotional support

line where someone who might have a friend who's struggling, you can call.

You can receive guidance and support and direction because it can be very

intimidating when someone comes to you and shares these things because a lot of

times we don't know what to say, but knowing that you're not alone, that you can

reach out for support so you can help the next person, that is such a helpful

resource. Right. And you can call that number for the local folks, it's 863-519-3744

And when you call, just say, you can just say, "Hey, I just want to talk to

somebody. I just want to share this just so that, you know, you can have somebody

who is not there, an unbiased opinion on something you may be struggling with. You

also have available on many of the college campuses, your counseling centers who can

help guide you. They have some information. If you didn't know they existed, check

around, see if your college has a counseling or student support kind of office where

you can get some information so you don't have to talk to anybody if you don't

want to or look on the website for your college campus because lots of times it's

there on the website. You can definitely go there in person and these are people

who are, again, professionals like Tiffani and I, who have training and work with

college life and understand that culture and how to work with some of those issues

as well. On a more national level, if there's some more serious kinds of issues

that come up for you, we'll get more into depression and suicide thought processes

in another podcast. But There's the national number for that is 988 again.

That's 988. They've made it real simple now But I understand you're probably going

to get somebody from anywhere in the country Answering that line not necessarily a

local provider and if you're kind of new to the area or maybe not you're Not so

much local, but you can also call 211 to find out what resources are available.

They don't necessarily do interventions, but they provide numbers for resources. So I

want to thank you for joining us today and see you again soon. If you enjoyed the

show, please like and subscribe. If you or someone you know is struggling with any

mental health issues, not just anxiety, feel free to call us here in Central Florida

at 863 -519 -3744 or on a national level you can dial 988.