When depression makes even the smallest things feel enormous, knowing where to start can feel impossible. But sometimes, one minute is enough to begin making a small shift. In this episode of Psychology, Actually, Dr Marianne Trent explores five one-minute habits that helped her with depression and low mood. She discusses behavioural activation and why you may need to take action before motivation returns. You'll discover simple ways to clean something, go outside, connect with another living thing, complete one tiny task and practise purposeful self-care. Dr Marianne also explores sick leave, all-or-nothing thinking, self-worth and how small everyday actions can support recovery from depression.

#Depression #MentalHealth #Psychology

Highlights

• 00:00 Introduction: Why Small Things Feel Enormous
• 02:05 Behavioural Activation: You Don't Need to Feel Better First
• 04:18 My Own Experience With Low Mood
• 05:32 Technique 1: Clean Something, Clean Anything
• 09:14 Technique 2: Go Outside
• 13:42 Technique 3: Interact With Another Living Thing
• 17:08 Technique 4: Complete One Tiny Task
• 19:45 Technique 5: Treat Yourself Purposefully
• 23:12 A Personal Audit: Is Your Time Off Actually Helping?
• 26:18 All-or-Nothing Thinking and Self-Worth
• 28:55 Closing Thoughts

Watch next: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N40b5TmxQko Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOXhljPY558

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© Dr Marianne Trent

One of the really difficult things about depression is that it can make even the smallest things feel enormous. Having a shower, getting dressed, going outside, replying to a message, even making yourself a cup of tea. And if you've been signed off work because you're depressed, you might suddenly find you have something you haven't had for a long while, time. But having more time doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically going to start feeling better. So today I'm going to give you five evidence-based things you can do in around a minute, which might just start moving the needle on how you feel. I'm Dr. Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist, and this is Psychology Actually.

Just before we get started, I have one little request. I've noticed that many of you listening to or watching the show aren't yet following or subscribing. For example, on YouTube, over 93% of my regular long form viewers are not subscribed to the show. It's a really simple thing to do on YouTube. Go to my channel, click subscribe. It's totally free, and it helps me to grow as a creator, to get even better guests and to keep creating this content that I know you love. Thank you so much. Wherever you listen or watch the show, I love that you do, and I love hearing from you too. Let's dive in with the content. Something I want to cover before we get into our five techniques is the idea that when I feel better, then I'll start to do these things. I really want to kind of turn that on its head a little bit because what we know about the theory of behavioural activation is that often we will need to start doing some of the things before we actually feel motivated to do it.

I know that sounds all out of whack, but it really is true. That action needs to come even in small doses before it will necessarily feel rewarding, which will then feel like you're motivated to do it. That's why we're starting really small today. And this of course is because depression itself means that you have a decrease in interest and motivation. A lot of the things that you would usually do that make you feel like you are not happening right now. I love my chat with Professor Paul Gilbert and I love the way that compassion-focused therapy thinks about depression in that it kind of makes sense. We're kind of adjusting to a situation that feels outside of our control, feels overwhelming. And so depression is kind of our body's natural response to that situation we find ourselves in. And when we're in that state, it means that something like, oh, I'll just go out for a 45 minute walk can feel as difficult as if somebody said, why don't you go and climb a mountain?

So that's why we're trying to get in there with our simple one minute techniques, which might just allow us to kind of sneak past without your brain going, oh no, no, no, that's not happening. And throughout this video, I'm going to make reference to some of my own experiences with lower mood. For example, when I lost my dad in 2017 and I had a period of time off work and some of the other times when I've really struggled. So I know what it's like to struggle. I am a human. I'm always a human first, a psychologist second. I'm a mom too. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. I've got people in my life who've struggled with depression and we all struggle with our mood from time to time. So let's get into it. Number one, clean something. Clean anything. It could be you. It could be that you're diving into the shower for the world's quickest one minute shower.

It could be that you're going to wash your face. It could be that you're going to brush your teeth. It could be that you're going to encourage your dog or your cat to freshen up. Could be that you're going to do the washing up for one minute. You're just going to fill up the bowl, get it done, or you're going to stack the dishwasher. You're going to make that happen. You're going to choose one thing to clean in one minute. It might even be just changing your clothes and looking at what you're wearing thinking, right, yeah, it's been a few days. I'm going to pick something clean out of my cupboard. Maybe I'm going to change my pants. Maybe I'm going to change my socks. I'm just going to freshen up how I feel. And I think this is a really powerful one because when it comes to keeping ourselves clean, it can snowball really quickly.

I know when I've got clean hair and I'm feeling like I'm well put together, I'm more likely to say yes to opportunities. Whereas on the days where I haven't washed my hair for days and it's in a greasy bun on top of my head, haven't got any makeup on, maybe I've got tomato sauce all down my top like I did yesterday, my husband pointed out, I'm perhaps less likely to feel good about myself. And so yeah, having the chance to maybe put that tomato sauce top in the wash and then do something nice with my hair if I have the energy to do that does mean that I'm starting to beat that kind of self-fulfilling kind of entrenched pattern, which keeps me stuck for longer. We absolutely aren't saying we're changing everything. We are just saying, what could I do in 60 seconds that might clean myself or clean something else just to give me that little bit of a bump start?

And I know that when we're off work, when we're signed off work for depression, low mood, stress, it means that sometimes some of the usual kind of routines that might keep us feeling certainly more functional do slip away. So just thinking about what that one minute of cleaning self or something else might help you to start to grease the wheels just to help get a little bit more flexibility, a little bit more movement into your day, just to help today look a little bit different than yesterday did. So a really simple one minute might just be changing out of your pyjamas, putting on maybe a pair of joggers, a t-shirt, brushing your teeth, one minute. That distinction between daytime you and nighttime you can be really powerful. Strategy number two is to go outside. We're not talking about that trip up the mountain. We are small.

We are opening the door. We are maybe taking something to the bin in your garden or your yard or on your street. We are maybe just walking one minute up your street or 30 seconds up your street and then 30 seconds back. We are maybe talking about going into the garden and just seeing what you can see, maybe seeing what season has changed or what changes have been happening since you were last there. What we're trying to do is we're trying to get a little bit of daylight into our lives and I appreciate certainly if you've got some additional physical health needs or disabilities that actually getting outside, especially if you're by yourself might feel more challenging. In that case, maybe get closer to a window or move yourself to a different room, have a little bit of a different vista. Even if I'm working from home, sometimes in the morning I will be in this study.

In the afternoon, I might go and sit in a different area of the house just to get kind of a little bit of movement into my day. And we're not necessarily talking about going out and having exercise at this point. I think this is sometimes vastly beyond where you might feel like you can start. We are literally just talking about one minute of changing your space, ideally involving some fresh air outside, a little bit of sunlight on your face, just changing your vista, changing your perspective from those same four walls that you've been used to seeing. I remember that the dirtiest I've ever been is when I had my children and they were very little and I was breastfeeding at the time and so I was being woken multiple times a day and I was obviously keeping my children clean and fresh and in kind of nice clean clothes and bathed at the end of the day.

But really me and another one of my friends, we used to often have one shower a week where we'd go and take our children swimming and then she and I would take our shampoo, we'd take our conditioner, we'd take a body puff and the kids would sit on the shower floor as we had what we were calling a spa-like experience. Parenting is really hard and I found that I certainly lost quite a lot of myself. I wouldn't say that I had postnatal depression, but I certainly lost a lot of the usual things that I would do that made me feel like Marianne. And actually having clean hair makes me feel good and makes me just feel more like myself. So yeah, the second time around I definitely tried to make time to have a shower, to do something different. And if you've got kind of caring responsibilities, it might mean that you're going to have to ask for help a little bit as well.

Could you come and sit with my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, my mom, my dad, my husband who's not well, my child, whilst I have this kind of one minute freshen up? Or whether you can, if they're young enough, if they're a child, you can get them safe or have them so that they're asleep and then choose your one minute to get yourself clean. We can do this. And when we're off work, especially if we usually would go out to work, it can be that lack of routine, that lack of structure, which feels like you've suddenly got this great big yawning stretch of a day. But I know sometimes that's really easy to fill perhaps with things that aren't feeling like they're that helpful or supportive of your mental health right now. So we're just going to find that one minute in the day to change your vista, to change your perspective, to get out fresh air, breathe it in, and then you're allowed to come back inside again.

Number three, we are going to be interacting with another living thing. Now, when I was home all the time with my kids when they were little, sometimes it was like, oh, obviously, yes, you're a living thing, but you can't talk and you cry a lot and it's feeling hard work. One of my favourite things to do, because we don't have pets at home, but one of my favourite things to do was go out to the local pet shop, which we could get to by walking and we'd go and look at the fish and actually giving us both the chance to focus on something else, something separate was really nice. And one of my children really, really like dogs. So when we're in the pet shop, we would often see dogs. But when you're choosing your something or some things that are other than yourself to interact with, it might be that you've got a pet nearby or your neighbour has one or on your one minute kind of walking about, out and about, if you see a dog, if you see a bird, could you observe that?

Could you interact with it? What could you do that helps you feel connected to something else other than just yourself? It might be just saying hi to someone in a shop if you happen to be there. It might be sending someone a voice note, sending a message to someone. It might be having a quick phone call with someone just to check in with them. But I understand that with depression, sometimes that can all feel too much. So we're starting really small. In what way can you spend one minute interacting with something else? The point is here to kind of get some stimulation, some interaction with something outside of what's going on inside your head, because that can feel like an echo chamber at times. Of course, if you are off work at the moment, then it might be that interactions with your colleagues usually would feel a big part of your day or you might be like, "Couldn't stand them anyway.

It's better without them." But there might be some of your colleagues that you do still like, value, trust, even miss from your life. So could you check in with them if you wanted to? And whilst social media can make it feel like we are connected to other people, I want to try and encourage you to try and connect with people you actually do know, people that you have previously spent time with, people that are or have been an important part of your life because social media can sometimes fuel some of the way that we feel about ourselves. So we're just striving for that one minute of connection with a real other living, breathing person, animal, creature bird, something. Okay? I would love to know how you're doing with this. Do let me know in the comments. Okay. And our fourth tip is complete one tiny task.

Now you might be really good at generating a big, huge list of things that you could do and you look at those and you're like, "Nope, nope, nope, nope." We're going really small. It might be that the clothes that you took off earlier, you put those in the washing machine, get them washed. It might be that you open any posts you've had today. It might be that you book the appointment that's been on your mind that you need to book. It might be that you reply to a text message, WhatsApp message from someone who's checking in with you. I know when it comes to being off sick from work, sometimes it can feel like you've got HR calls to do or people to keep notified or sending in your kind of fitness note. It might be that that's the task that you can choose to do today, just a really small one minute task.

And I really want you to think about focusing on trying to complete that task. So that's why we're starting really small here because depression of course can leave things feeling unfinished and unproductive. So we want to pick a small little thing that you can do that kind of gets something done, has that sense of achievement, and again, has today look a little bit different than it did yesterday. It's maybe not sorting out the kitchen, it's maybe just washing up four plates. So when we're doing something, when we're completing something, it gives ourselves that satisfying sense of mastery, something that we've achieved. Even yesterday, I was thinking about tackling an entire drawer that's just full of junk and probably all needs to go, but it's really challenging, isn't it? So I though, I'm just going to pick five things out of this drawer and I'm going to put them in a bag and I put them in my car boot and then take them to the charity shop.

Just five small things. It literally took me a minute, get that done. But yeah, you pick your one minute of something that you can complete that will help you to start to make that shift. And our fifth and final technique is treating yourself purposefully, deliberately. And treating yourself doesn't always look like a massive cash splurge on something. It can just be something that you know about yourself that you really like. So I've got a favourite blanket and I like to snuggle into that. I've got a favourite mug as well. It might be that you're going to give yourself permission to make yourself your favourite cup of tea or to have a hot chocolate that you really like, drink it in your favourite mug. For me, music is really powerful and important to me. It might be that it is for you too, or that it has been in the past.

What track could you put on that might help boost your mood or help you feel like, oh yeah, this is a good song for me. This really speaks to me and it helps me to feel like myself again. And after we've done that thing, or even when we're in that moment, perhaps when we're having that lovely hot chocolate, we've got our hands around that cup, I really want you to think about how I'm feeling or maybe if you're doing it after the event, how did I feel when I was doing that? What did I notice about myself, my thoughts, my feelings? How did my body feel when I was doing that thing? I think depression can be really especially sneaky because it can make us entirely devoid of self-care when in actual fact what we know is when we're at our best, we're likely to be engaging regularly in self-care.

Self-care doesn't always look like massages and facials and manicures. It absolutely doesn't. It just looks like spending a little bit of time doing something that you know that will help you to feel different or better. And I really want to reinforce the idea that self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. It's that idea of when you're on an aeroplane, you've got to put your own gas mask on first because of course, what we know is that when we are at our best, we are more able to be equipped to help others more too. That is absolutely the science of it. So you're allowed to care for yourself. In fact, I would really urge you to. I really want to have a little look at something that I did last week when I had time off work and compare and contrast for how that might change depending how often we do these things.

So I'm usually working or I've got stuff to do with the kids or I'm cooking or I'm doing all the mom things or the running my own business things. So I rarely get the chance to watch the BBC show called Homes Under the Hammer or the ITV show with Ben Shepherd called Tipping Point. I really do really like those shows. And so because I had some time off last week, I spent time watching those and really, really enjoyed it as a bit of a mindful treat, as a little bit of self-care to myself. But actually, if I had just this gaping chasm of time in my day and all I was doing was watching Homes Under the Hammer in the morning and Tipping Point in the afternoon, that might continue to kind of perpetuate the way I'm feeling. So I really want you to think about whether the things you're doing are actually making you feel any better.

So if you're sleeping away the afternoon, how is that making you feel and how is that then impacting on your sleep, of course, later that day? So yeah, let's just have a little bit of an audit about whether the way that you are spending your time is enriching it. So we're just having a little check in. So this isn't a video of me saying, make better use of your sick leave. Sick leave is there for a reason. It's there because you're not currently well enough to do the job that you do and that you need that time to look after yourself, maybe even to sort out some of the life factors that you've got to stabilise things to make it more likely that you're going to thrive again in your role and in all of the roles that you do as well, because we're not just saying that you're not well enough for work, although sometimes if it's a workplace situation that's led to your depression, that might well just feel like it's a bit more contained to work.

But really what we know about depression is that we're not really well enough to do many of the things that we would usually do in our day and in our life. So yeah, we're not saying maximise this sick leave. This is not what this video, this episode is about. We're just trying to think about giving a natural kind of skeleton, a structure to your day, really trying to use those five simple things to help make a difference. And before we finish, I really want to think about how depression can make us think in these all or nothing terms. If I can't clean up the whole house, if I can't clean up the whole kitchen, then what's the point? It can also make us think about what you might be missing out on at work and what other people might be getting ahead on and what you're losing out on.

I really want to quiet some of that noise if we can. And again, when we're thinking about reaching out to friends, it's like, oh, well, I'm not very good company, so why would I reach out to somebody at all? Let's not forget that in relationships there is give and there is take. It might be that in the past you've always given, given, given, given like a bank, okay? We have to allow ourselves to draw out on those deposits sometimes as well. It's all part of that self-care, but also part of kind of self-belief and self-worth. Borrow from others, draw down on those deposits and know that that's okay. And when you're well enough, you'll be able to feed back into that and support others again too. Sometimes recovery from depression really does begin with just this series of very ordinary things. And it's not because something like brushing your teeth cures your depression, it doesn't, but it's that conscious re-entering of your own life, taking control, even just a little bit of control day by day, which starts to make the difference.

I'm Dr. Marianne Trent. I hope you really enjoyed this episode of Psychology. Actually, I'd love to know what you think if you like this episode. I think you'll also really like the episode I mentioned earlier with Professor Paul Gilbert, which is all about compassion and how we can use that to make a real difference for the way that you feel. The details will be on screen or in the show notes.