In this enlightening episode, Sam takes us through her compelling transformation from a state of overwhelmed motherhood to achieving a state of peace and confidence in her parenting style. With a focus on authenticity and rejecting the idea of gentle parenting, Sam shares her wisdom on navigating motherhood while maintaining one's true identity. This episode is a treasure trove for young mothers seeking encouragement and assurance that it is possible to flourish in both business and home life without compromising personal values.

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Sam's story begins with the challenging birth of her first child and the subsequent juggling act of new motherhood, which left her nervous system in "haywire." She openly discusses the guilt and overwhelm that ensued when her parenting decisions were scrutinized by others. Her pivotal moment of self-discovery led her to abandon the pursuit of pleasing everyone and to start embracing her vibrant personality, including her personal style preferences. Sam imparts the crucial lesson of discernment when accepting advice, emphasizing the importance of seeking guidance from individuals whose life outcomes one aspires to emulate.

Key Takeaways:

• A winning home life is just as important as winning in business; one cannot truly succeed without the other.
• Authentic self-expression is key to achieving peace in motherhood, and this extends to personal style and parenting choices.
• Pleasing everyone is an impossible task and can lead to overwhelming stress and unhappiness.
• Seek advice and feedback only from those whose outcomes in life align with your desired path.
• Embrace who you are, and let go of the burden of other people's expectations, for the sake of your own peace and well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• "If we are winning in business and we are not winning at home, we are not winning at all."
• "The peace you will have is greater than the fear of whatever you may be facing."
• "Do not listen to people you would not trade places with."
• "You do not have to please everyone, but you do need to find people that you can get good feedback or advice from."
• "When you're winning in business and you're winning at home, you're winning."

Engage with the full episode to delve deeper into Sam's journey and discover the pearls of wisdom she imparts to fellow mothers and entrepreneurs. Don't miss out on more episodes filled with valuable insights to enrich your business and personal development. Stay tuned for more episodes from this insightful series.

[TRANSCRIPT]

0:00:29 - (sam): Okay? And I'm going to tell you what I mean by that, because what I want to jump into today is how I took my chaotic motherhood into a thriving, peaceful parenting. And no, no gentle parenting was involved. And I know everybody just fell over when I said that, but no, I do not subscribe to the gentle parenting. And I'll tell you why in this episode. So, as we hop in, I just wanted to share with you guys of where I was when I first became a mother. So as you're listening to this, my daughter just turned five years old, and I am just beyond the moon of who she is now. And I'm just so thrilled, so thrilled with who she is.

0:01:55 - (sam): Okay? So if we can just get some guidance, some advice, and some peace, I think that's all going to transform the motherhood that we all have and just, like, grow and build that out. Okay? So if you're on with me today, let's just jump right in. So with Quinn being, you know, five now, I've learned a few things. I haven't been a mother for a long time, but I've been a mother for a short time and a good time.

0:02:56 - (sam): And like, rest in labor, which if you've had a child, you know, is not easy either. But we felt safe, you know, we just felt safer going. And they were able to help me get a little bit of restaurants, let my body relax, and then we were able to move forward from there. So it was like, it was a good experience. So please don't have, like, a negative view of home birth. That's just how our story went. And it was not emergency. It was.

0:03:47 - (sam): We spent lots of time in bed in the first couple months, and that's all right. But through that is like, we just had a very, like, stressful time in the beginning. Like, my nervous system is already in haywire because I just had a child. It was a very long birth. Everything was great, but it was just a hard, like, it was just. Your nervous system is just an overwhelm because your body is changing rapidly. You have tons of people in and out of your home.

0:04:36 - (sam): And she was birth weight at six weeks. And so we were able to get those revised. We were able to get my supply back up. All of the good things. She is a thriving, very intelligent five year old. Everything is all good. God is good that he took care of us in that situation. But from that stemmed a lot of guilt, stemmed a lot of overwhelm because not everybody was really happy with my decisions. And, wow, I would never take back that. I got her lip and tongue tied taken care of. I would never take that back.

0:05:56 - (sam): It will throw your nervous system into complete haywire and it will be one of the most difficult things you ever try to navigate is trying to please everyone. So from one recovering people pleaser, just, it's not worth it to try to please everyone. Like, the peace you will have is greater than the fear of whatever you may be facing. So just know that. And I'm just telling you this because as you're a mom who's also in business, if you're trying to please everyone, especially your clients, you're not going to do that. You're going to let someone down.

0:06:58 - (sam): I'm not a beige mom. I am not a beige mom at all. In fact, I love bright colors. And I'm so glad that I finally just stepped into when somebody. So it's funny, like a picture I liked of me because I liked the way my hair looked. They were like, oh, you're, you know, it was like, oh, your arms look really awkward now. I was asking for feedback, so please don't even, like, say this person was being mean to me. I was asking for feedback and I was like, oh, I do look really awkward because I'm not 100% happy with the way I look because I wasn't 100% happy with who I was trying to be.

0:08:00 - (sam): I realized that all of these people that I was trying to be, I didn't want to be. And so why it's so important, this is. This is the defining factor is this is why it is so, so important to find who you would actually trade places with, and that is who you take advice from. And if you would not take advice from them, then you don't take criticism from them. Okay, so here's the thing. It's like, I found mothers that I loved and appreciated in all realms of my life, because here's the deal.

0:08:59 - (sam): Because I would trade places with her in that area of my life. Now, when it comes to business coaching, it's like, I found a coach who understood what it was like to come from very little and to grow into something big. And I knew that I would trade places with her in a heartbeat because she had a good marriage. She had children who loved her. She had a thriving motherhood, and just all the things that I know I want to be as a business owner, and her marriage is good, I would take advice from her. I also take criticism from her because I would trade places with her.

0:10:14 - (sam): If they don't like, like something that you do and you're like, well, your outcomes are not what I would want, then just like, and I'm preaching to the choir here, like, you are not alone in this. I'm telling you this because I went through it first. I'm telling you from firsthand experience because I want you to go and thrive and kick butt. Okay? So it was like, for me, it was like, well, I'm not going to quit doing that.

0:11:11 - (sam): I'm just looking at their fruit, which is what God asks us to do, is look at the fruit in their lives and then go from there. So I can just say, okay, thanks, and move on with my day. Because I know that they don't have the fruit that I am looking for. And that, let me just tell you, that is so freeing to not feel like you have to, like, look up to someone just because whatever they think that they have in your life. Because that's the thing, is, like, when you start to feel like you can navigate life well, even if that person's, like, on Instagram, if you're like, oh, I like the way she does whatever.

0:12:21 - (sam): But you know why I value her and why I would listen to what she, like has to offer? Because I love her relationship with the Lord. And now that she attends my church, I actually get to watch that in action. I mean, I don't see her all the time, so I can't tell you, like, this is 100% of, like, I don't know 100% about her. And that's okay. I don't need to. But it was so cool to get to see that as, like, a young mom who loved the Lord and who was pursuing the Lord and discipling her children.

0:13:33 - (sam): Because you don't have to listen to everyone all the time. So I hope you learned a few things from this episode. One, you do not have to please everyone, but you do need to find people that you can get good feedback or advice from, that you can have connection with. And if it has to be different people in different areas of your life, that is okay. You don't have to have just one person, but you need to go and thrive and do well in the things that it is that you want to do as a mother.

0:14:34 - (sam): So that way, when you're winning in business and you're winning at home, you're winning your winning girl. And speaking of winning, if you'd like my free masterclass, there will be more details right after this.