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Today, I want to dive into the idea of balance and the middle way. I’ve had a super long day filled with meetings, but instead of feeling drained, I’m reflecting on how I can find satisfaction in my daily life, even when things get tough. It’s really about staying present, no matter how chaotic things might seem. We all have moments that feel overwhelming, but just because one part of the day is challenging doesn’t mean the whole day is a loss. Let’s explore how we can approach each moment with calmness, breathe through the stress, and appreciate the journey, even when it gets rocky.

Very often you hear in Buddhism about the middle way, but what does it really mean to live the middle way. This podcast is a general chat at the end of a long day, and how I remain positive and optimistic without going into my own suffering.

Balance is key in life, especially after a long day filled with meetings and responsibilities. Stephen Webb shares his personal journey as a city councillor and mindfulness coach, illustrating how even when life feels overwhelming, finding the middle ground can lead to satisfaction. He stresses that it's not about avoiding challenges, but about facing them with a calm heart and a present mindset. By acknowledging both the highs and lows, we can cultivate a sense of peace even in chaos. It's about managing our expectations and recognizing that tough moments don't define our entire day. We can still find joy in the little victories, like engaging in meaningful discussions about improving our community, despite the fatigue. Each moment offers a chance for mindfulness, inviting us to breathe and embrace the present, no matter how challenging it may be.

Takeaways:

• Balance is key in life, even amidst the chaos of meetings and responsibilities.
• Our daily experiences don't have to define our overall mood or satisfaction.
• It's important to practice mindfulness during challenging moments, not just in peaceful ones.
• Finding calm in stressful situations takes practice, but it's essential for well-being.
• Recognizing both pleasant and unpleasant moments is vital for true balance in life.
• Going to bed satisfied with the day shows that even tough days can have value.

Foreign.

Hey, welcome to this week's podcast.

I'm Stephen Webb and this is Stillness in the Storms.

I want to talk about balance and the middle way.

And in particular I've had a really long day and I've been in meetings most of the day.

I've been in meetings with the council because I'm city councillor as well as a meditation and mindfulness coach.

And in city council meetings they can be sometimes long, really tiring.

And I started my first meeting today with another group.

This wasn't to do with the council, but at 2pm today.

And I finished my meetings with a couple of gaps in between around about 8:30 this evening.

So it's been a long, long day staring at the computer screen and trying to stay mindful, trying to stay present with it.

And I love my life.

I really enjoy my life and it's about balance and it's what I realize.

I'm sitting here now and I'm tired.

It's the end of the day and I'm going to go to bed tonight not with the thought of I'm tired.

I don't like my life.

I don't like these meetings.

I'm going to go to bed, I'm going to put my head down with the satisfaction and the feeling that I've done something today.

You know, we've discussed things about how to improve my local city.

We've had a wider discussion about pedestrianization, we've included other people's views.

And then we had another discussion about a big development going on just inside of the city center or just offside the city center.

And these aren't about spiritual things.

I don't sit in meetings all day about meditation and mindfulness and all Zen like and read Zen books all day.

Now then, if I was to do that, I would, yes, I would enjoy that.

I would have a wonderful peaceful day.

I would feel wonderfully bliss.

But I wouldn't be part of everyday life.

I wouldn't have trying times that make it difficult for me.

And really the times that I have to practice more.

You know, anybody can practice down a cushion reading a Zenberg, reading the wonderful quotes on the Internet and feeling beautifully calm and serene when you're listening to the birds.

But can you do it in a council meeting?

Can you do it when your family are nagging you?

Can you do it?

Can you do it when that family member is stressing out?

Can you do it when that one person is pushing your buttons deliberately to wind you up?

Can you stay calm and serene and come at that Moment from your heart.

Can you be present in that moment without hating the moment, without not wanting to be there?

And this is what it is about, is about the balance of these moments, moment by moment.

Can you bring a bit of calmness?

Can you bring a breath to the moment?

Can you bring your presence to the moment?

And can you put your head down at night and go, do you know what I done well today?

I'm doing okay.

If we go to bed at night and we put our head down and go, do you know what I failed today?

I didn't stay present.

I wasn't very loving.

I said the wrong thing to that person and I should have done this, I should have done that.

And don't get me wrong, some days I do.

Sometimes I get in bed and I'm tired and I might look up and go, you know, I was supposed to do this, but I didn't do this today.

And things like that, that's the reality and it's just life.

But now I smile and I laugh at them and I laugh at my mind when it's having a go at me and saying, you're, you're no good.

You won't achieve this.

You cannot do that.

You cannot even go through your 3 item to do list.

You cannot sit in meditation for more than five seconds without your mind wandering to, oh, I must check Facebook.

So, you know, I'm paralyzed.

I have real difficulties in my life this morning.

My day started off really quite nasty.

And I'll be blunt with you.

You know, we all get it.

We all get an upset stomach.

Well, you try getting that when you're paralyzed and you need help.

Yeah, not a pretty picture.

And so getting out of bed this morning took two and a half hours.

It was real hard on the carer and it was difficult on me.

And for the first two hours, I felt quite groggy.

But I didn't go out and say, right, my day's ruined.

I did not put a duvet around me and just lie in bed day and go, do you know what?

I'm not going to bother today.

Because the first two hours started off bad.

It's about balance.

It's about looking at this moment and going, well, just because the morning was bad doesn't mean to say the evening is bad.

You know, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe of a groggy headache, not feeling great at all.

And then some people or some of us and me at times will let it define my day.

It doesn't have to.

What's before lunch doesn't have to define your after lunch.

What's now doesn't have to define you in the next minute.

Having a bad day?

Take a little time out.

Take a deep breath and just relax.

And I say relax.

Invite your body to relax.

Don't.

Don't take it as I'm saying relax.

No one relaxes when someone tells them to relax.

Try it.

The next time someone's getting in your face, just look up and go, just relax.

It's not gonna work.

Trust me, it doesn't work.

I've been with enough partners now to know that that never worked with anybody.

I've tried it.

Just think positive.

Just relax.

Just chill out.

Take a chill pill.

You know, we've all heard those phrases.

Well, at one time in my life, I've said it to somebody, and it doesn't work.

You can invite them to feel calm with you.

Just invite your body.

So you're sitting stressed.

You're sitting a little bit wound up.

The morning is not going well.

Just sit and go, hey, just relax with me a moment.

Just take a deep breath.

I'm breathing in now.

I'm breathing out.

And just say to your body, relax with me.

You can ask your body, what does it feel like to relax?

Show me what it feels like to relax.

And just wait for your body to relax.

You can do it now.

Whatever you're doing, you're listening to this podcast.

Just say to your body, show me what it's like to relax.

And just watch your body just go, whoa.

It's almost like every muscle in your body suddenly looks back and goes, thank you.

Thank you.

And the whole idea of the meditation and.

Well, not the whole idea, but one of the ideas of meditation and mindfulness and all that is to be able to bring back to that grounding right this minute and just go, ah.

This moment isn't really as terrible as I thought.

That is the reality.

It's about.

It's about balance.

Your days are not going to be sweet and wonderful the minute you embark on the spiritual journey.

I got bad news for you.

If you've been listening to my podcast for a while, you'll know I don't promise any kind of spiritual bliss and happiness and disconnection from any kind of problems.

The reality is your life will still give you problems.

The universe doesn't have.

It doesn't look up one day and say, ah, do you know what?

I've dished out enough hassle for him.

I'm going to move on to somebody else.

The universe is not Keeping score.

The universe is doing its thing.

You do your thing.

Allow the universe to flow through you.

Stop fighting it.

And that's about the balance.

And this wonderful example of the drumsticks, I love this example that the middle way, the balance way, is like if you've got a couple of drumsticks and if you hold them too tight, the music is rigid and you hold them too loose, you drop the drumsticks, there's no music.

Hold them loosely, let them beat the drum, let them bounce back, let them come back against your hands and let the music flow through your arms and through the universe.

Because that's how we find the music in life.

That's how we find the balance in life.

If you're looking for days that are just wonderful bliss, you ain't got them.

They're not going to happen.

You know, the only way that's going to happen is if you totally disconnect and you're not even part of life anymore.

You know, if you perhaps you make some kind of garden and you go and live in your garden, you close and close down to the whole world and not let anybody or anything in the whole.

So many people on the spiritual journey say, get rid of negative people.

Get rid of any negative energy.

They will drain you down, they will ruin you, they will ruin your life, they'll ruin your karma.

Well, that's just rubbish.

You know, your kids are negative.

Sometimes your family members are negative.

You go into a shop one day and the shopkeeper is having a terrible time.

They've just been shouted at, They've just had somebody really rude to them.

They've just had the same question asked 40 times.

And then we come along and for whatever reason we're nice and polite and they're not supply to us.

And then we're like, oh, negative, horrible people.

How dare she?

We don't know what they've just been going through.

They just might have had the worst phone call with their lives.

The reality is we cannot avoid people that temporarily feel negative.

Yes, there is drainers that are always negative.

There's drainers that always appear to be bringing everybody else down.

I'm not saying deliberately hang out with them, but have compassion for them, understand them, and realize that you're negative sometimes.

That's about the balance.

I'm going to end this podcast with another, my second favorite example, and I'm going to end up saying in a couple of days, my favorite example is going to be something completely different.

I'm allowed to change my mind.

Okay?

From morning tonight, I Change my mind at least 10 times.

You know, it's.

It's what my mind does, and I love it.

It always keeps me entertained.

Right back to my second favorite example.

It's the stick.

One end, you got the stuff that you don't like, the unpleasant stuff.

The other end, you've got the pleasant stuff.

And the problem is, what everybody wants to do is chop off the unpleasant ends.

They want to disconnect from it, get rid of it.

And every time you chop it, that stick gets shorter and shorter and shorter until it gets to a stage the stick is so short that either end is.

Are not distinguishable from the other.

So your life becomes a mix of pleasure and bad all in one moment.

And you feel overwhelmed.

And you cannot.

You can no longer say, I'm enjoying that experience or I'm not enjoying that experience.

So therefore, you cannot deal with situations.

The point is, pick up the stick, both ends, recognize that you'll visit both ends, recognize that both ends are part of your journey, part of your stick.

And recognize that everybody has different sticks, different lengths, different sizes, and their unpleasantness is different to yours, and their pleasantness is different to yours.

And recognize that sometimes they're on the unpleasant end of their stick.

Don't knock them out of your life totally sometimes.

We've got to understand that everybody has bad days.

We have bad days.

It's about balance, you know, if you're opening your heart, you're opening your heart to balance, to softening.

Between all these thoughts and feelings, I just had an idea.

And after a very, very long day of meetings, all day, and I still love my life, I just wanted to share with you that just because the day has not been the way you want it to be doesn't mean it's a bad day.

You can still go to bed and put your head down on the pillow and smile and go, I did all right.

I did all right today.

I'm Stephen Webb, and this is Stillness in the Storms.

And there'll be links below where you can support this podcast that would be awesome if you can.

Amazing.

Either on Patreon or on Facebook.

Take care.

Have an amazing week.

Speak to you soon.

Bye.