Ron:
Do you have a heart of forgiveness or are you harboring things against yourself and your neighbor? I am Ron your host and, on this podcast, we reach into a heart of forgiveness and a deep understanding of what it means to forgive someone. Without a forgiving heart, we literally block everything that God wants to do for us and our very growth in God.
Dale:
Where do you start? You start with yourself. That is a thing that Christ did. He started with Himself, He showed us the path, each step He took. The first thing that we have to understand is your heart has to be right and if you don’t forgive somebody else then you are harboring a millstone around your neck. You’re harboring a stumbling block. If I can’t forgive myself how can I forgive my neighbor? In time I should set down and say, God, you and I have got to get this right. How can I pray for my brother if I don’t first seek forgiveness? If I have ought against my brother, oh you know he ripped me off but I am going to pray for Him anyway. Waste my breath. You know that is a foundational block in us that we are building on. And that’s a foundation block of forgiveness.
Ron:
Forgiveness is a great, that is a great starting point. It’s an awesome starting point because I think people are stuck. Their thinking of forgiveness as if I forgive this person that means what they did was Ok. But that is not true. I personally believe a lot of people don’t understand God’s definition of forgiveness and what that means to them because if they understood it, they’d be forgiven all over the place. Because it would be setting them free. It is not excusing what someone has done, it’s not saying oh we are going to be buddy-buddy now. It’s none of that. It’s not even saying that you agree with them. It’s a principle of God that when you forgive someone it sets you free, it sets your life free. Boy if you could get that across to people, if they get a revelation of that because then they realize, I harboring stuff to my own hurt. It is not hurting the other guy. He may have forgotten it a long time ago and go on or not care. If we don’t get this first step whatever we do, how good we think we are, is wrong because we are wrong.
Dale:
There is a step-in forgiveness that can be put either in the beginning or at the end and that is “thank you, Lord”. Because I think what we are talking about is we’re talking about the Grace of God. Without that, I never would have been able to walk on further with you.
Ron:
Forgiveness, it doesn’t have to do with me agreeing or liking the individual. I don’t have to agree with them. It’s not part of the principle. The principle is I forgive them and there is an objectivity in it because I am setting myself free from any bonds, any hatred, I am not harboring anything in my heart towards them. And I think as you get yourself free, God will show you what He is doing.
Deborah:
Yea, I think part of it too is they don’t understand what forgiveness is. They don’t really understand what it means to forget. They think that forgiveness, forgiveness okaying it, it’s ok, that they did that. I know in my heart that you have to forgive is for you. Forgiveness is for me, it’s for you. It’s not for the other person. Forgiveness is for you because if you don’t forgive, you’re not forgiven.
Ed:
Yea we know the effects of forgiveness is right in the Lord’s prayer. Forgive me of my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me. It’s got to be a total thing. You don’t want to stand there before the presence of God and all of a sudden God says, why didn’t you forgive him? You held on to that and because if you were to let go of that would have freed you. Now maybe it wouldn’t have freed him but you were the one that I was concerned about. Forgive me as I forgive those who trespass against me. Then I can hold nothing against anyone for any reason.
Deborah:
I was thinking about Corrie TenBoom I don’t know if you know who she is? But Corrie TenBoom I remembered meeting her up in Canada when I was going to school. We went to a church, she was talking from her wheelchair but she was talking to us about what she went through. And she said when she met the Nazi that was responsible for putting her in the concentration camp and was responsible for her father’s death and her mother’s death. She said God had to put something into my heart to forgive him because I did not have it. I had to go before the Lord and cry out for forgiveness of that man. When he came and he was a Christian. He came to her asked for her forgiveness. She had to say she forgave him. And she was able to forgive him because the Lord had prepared her heart to do it. Can you imagine? I can’t even imagine. That’s the depth it has to go the depth of our being. It is not something that is easy all the time especially when someone has been raped or someone has been violated and someone knows that they have. And there is no doubt in their minds that they have been. But then the Lord says what are you going to do? Are you going to forgive them?
Ron:
So that is a great example, does that mean that lady because she has forgave that man? Does that mean that they are going to sit down and have coffee together?
Deborah:
No, not necessarily, no but she had to relate to him, she had to talk to him.
Ron:
Right she had to talk to him. But I am just saying is forgiveness does not mean that you agree with what he did. It doesn’t mean that it hurt any less. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t evil. It doesn’t mean that you are going to be friends now and have a relationship. It just means that you are setting yourself free. And in that case, specifically, you are setting him free because he is asking for forgiveness. So, it is setting you both free.
Deborah:
But she had to forgive him before she met him. She had to forgive him to the depth of her being and then when he came up to her then she was able to say I forgive you.
Ron:
The whole issue that we are bringing up here is we are not talking about little offenses, we’re talking about big offenses. And these big offenses you can’t forgive them in yourself. There is just no way. You’re lying to yourself if you say you can. Because if it is a big offense it’s a big offense and you know somebody being raped. Somebody killing one of your family. These are big deals even if they are little deals honestly you can’t really forgive anybody out of yourself, you can say it but real forgiveness is a thing of heart and also if you really forgive somebody you’ll probably come to a place where you forget. Because you let it go, you let it go to that depth. And how can you do that honestly? You cannot do that as a human being.
Deborah:
The Holy Spirit has to help you with it.
