We’re joined by successful entrepreneur, Thomas Coles, discussing how, and when to ask for referrals for developing your business. 82% of potential clients prefer seeking recommendations from their network over online searches. We talk psychological barriers, building trusted relationship with your network, and the impact this can have in creating opportunities. Who knows what opportunities currently lie in your network.
Hello, and welcome to the Growth Workshop Podcast with
Matt Best:your host today, Matt Best and Jonny Adams. We're joined today
Matt Best:by the fantastic Thomas Coles. And we're really, really looking
Matt Best:forward to exploring how Thomas has been successful
Matt Best:entrepreneur, developing and growing businesses over his
Matt Best:illustrious career. But as is customary on the Growth Workshop
Matt Best:Podcast, Thomas, I'd like just to welcome you with our first
Matt Best:question, which is, tell us what's been interesting in your
Matt Best:week, this week, what's gone on that you can share with our
Matt Best:listeners to get everyone excited at the start of today's
Matt Best:podcast?
Thomas Coles:Hello both of you. Hello, everybody. And thank you
Thomas Coles:for the introduction. The best thing that's happened in my week
Thomas Coles:has probably been how busy they've been starting from
Thomas Coles:before eight o'clock Monday morning, getting an order from a
Thomas Coles:new customer, right the way through the week, it has been
Thomas Coles:fantastic.
Matt Best:Brilliant and incredibly productive, which is
Matt Best:fantastic. Thank you. And Jonny, what about you? You always have
Matt Best:a normally an interesting story to share with, uh, with us at
Matt Best:the start of this podcast.
Jonny Adams:Oh, Matt, you've set the standards high there. So
Jonny Adams:a personal sort of achievement achieved the management,
Jonny Adams:consultancy chartered status, which puts me in the top 1000
Jonny Adams:management consultants in the UK, it effectively means that as
Jonny Adams:a business and as an individual running programs with our
Jonny Adams:clients, I uphold certain standards and ethics when
Jonny Adams:delivering transformation projects. So that was a really
Jonny Adams:sort of personal achievement over to Matt, what's going on in
Jonny Adams:your world?
Matt Best:I think in my week, this week has been a chance I
Matt Best:came off the back of a really a really busy week last week,
Matt Best:actually. And Thomas much saw yourself lots and lots of
Matt Best:meetings, really effective, great conversations. And we all
Matt Best:know that in business development and sales, the week
Matt Best:that follows that is a week of follow ups. And that's really
Matt Best:what what this week has been about. But it's, it's really
Matt Best:great being able to reflect on those fantastic conversations
Matt Best:with clients and prospects. And if we think about our listeners
Matt Best:to this podcast, and their own sort of focus on growth, just a
Matt Best:little reminder of all of that hardware that you put in what
Matt Best:comes out, and maybe some of our listeners will have shared your
Matt Best:pre 8am contract signatures, solid switches, which is always
Matt Best:a nice way to start the week.
Thomas Coles:Let's hope so.
Matt Best:Wonderful. Well, it's always you're a serial
Matt Best:entrepreneur, right? You've got vast experience in developing
Matt Best:and growing businesses. So tell us what's your biggest success?
Thomas Coles:There's been all sorts of amazing teams that I've
Thomas Coles:worked with over the years. But probably if I had to choose one
Thomas Coles:thing, I would say, selling one businesses and 82 times return
Thomas Coles:that has to stand out as allied.
Matt Best:Wow, yes. Why are you still working?
Thomas Coles:People do ask that question. I would say divorce is
Thomas Coles:expensive. And my daughter wants to be a doctor. So I've got at
Thomas Coles:least another nine years in me.
Jonny Adams:Just being married for one year, Thomas, I'm taking
Jonny Adams:notes. So thank you very much for that.
Matt Best:So eighty two times return flipping businesses is,
Matt Best:you know, clearly sets you out. As someone who knows who knows
Matt Best:very well, what they're doing. We'd love to know, what are the
Matt Best:three things that have helped you in being so successful with
Matt Best:that business, but also with the other businesses that you've
Matt Best:worked with and achieved growth for?
Thomas Coles:There are three really clear, easy answers to
Thomas Coles:that question. Firstly, the most successful way of generating new
Thomas Coles:revenue, and therefore growing businesses has always been using
Thomas Coles:referrals. The second thing that I have to highlight in terms of
Thomas Coles:total revenue coming from growth has to be around account
Thomas Coles:management, looking after customers, growing the
Thomas Coles:relationships with customers and retaining them, that one was my
Thomas Coles:business's biggest one had an average customer lifecycle of
Thomas Coles:over 10 years, that's quite special. And then I think you
Thomas Coles:probably wouldn't be surprised to hear the third way of
Thomas Coles:generating new business. And therefore being successful is
Thomas Coles:through what we call code saving, that is following
Thomas Coles:customers as they change jobs. If they've been happy, they can
Thomas Coles:be a happy customer.
Matt Best:Again Thomas, it's great to have those sort of
Matt Best:three key areas. And we'd love to dig into each of those. And
Matt Best:I'm paying particular attention to number one and referrals. But
Matt Best:just before we do that account management is something very
Matt Best:close to my heart and, and my experience in customer success
Matt Best:and running account management teams. And I think it's such a
Matt Best:can sometimes be such an under appreciated side of the
Matt Best:business, I was having a conversation with the CS leader
Matt Best:just the other day, and we were talking about the volume of
Matt Best:business and the cost of losing business is so seldom seen as a
Matt Best:source of risk and all that focus gets put on to sales and
Matt Best:acquiring new logos. And then you turn around and if half your
Matt Best:customer base is gone, you've undone all of that good work. So
Matt Best:it's such a I think, just wanted to share my view and my
Matt Best:perspective there as someone that you I think account
Matt Best:management is so so key especially in in services
Matt Best:businesses where you've got ongoing commitments and sewers,
Matt Best:you know, in modern SAS, of course, and 10 years is quite
Matt Best:something I mean, you must go through a number, a number of
Matt Best:key stakeholders in that time. So it just demonstrates that
Matt Best:good account managers really are are really impactful and
Matt Best:effective in one's business.
Thomas Coles:People talking about means winning deals teams
Thomas Coles:also keep customers happy is not down to one account manager is
Thomas Coles:down to a whole multitude of different roles, both on the
Thomas Coles:client side and the supplier side. Therefore, having the
Thomas Coles:opportunity to make sure there is continuity when one
Thomas Coles:stakeholder leaves, I always thought that the best thing that
Thomas Coles:can happen is that a happy customer leaves because you keep
Thomas Coles:the happy customer organization, and they become a prospect in
Thomas Coles:their new job.
Matt Best:Leading nicely into your third point of
Matt Best:coattailling. Right, and the importance of maintaining those
Matt Best:strong relationships, and then following them around the
Matt Best:industry.
Thomas Coles:I tell a story about one insurance client, I
Thomas Coles:won back in the year 2000. And by the time we'd finish that
Thomas Coles:relationship with that one organization 16 years later, and
Thomas Coles:that was due to an acquisition of them. We had generated, I
Thomas Coles:think 25 million of revenue from referrals. Coattailing and that
Thomas Coles:customer relationship.
Matt Best:I mean, that's incredible, right? I mean, have
Matt Best:you set that goal for various sales professionals just on
Matt Best:their own?
Thomas Coles:I can still tell you what we paid for the Pay Per
Thomas Coles:Click, Google lead, turned into that relation ship? 880 pounds.
Matt Best:That's some ROI. That's awesome. Yeah, that is
Matt Best:that's very cool. And I think thinking about that, Thomas, and
Matt Best:you mentioned there that essentially that person becoming
Matt Best:an extension of your sales team, right. And as, as referrals as a
Matt Best:tool, or a thing that helps achieve this growth is exactly
Matt Best:that. It's extending your sales organization out through your
Matt Best:trusted relationships and the partnerships that you have with
Matt Best:clients who really advocate for you in the market and advocate
Matt Best:for the product. So I mean, tell us a little bit more maybe I
Matt Best:start with a sort of fairly simple question. There might be
Matt Best:some people on there listening to the podcast today thinking,
Matt Best:What does referrals really mean? What is what is referrals? So
Matt Best:how would you define referrals? What does it mean?
Thomas Coles:Let me illustrate it with going to the there's
Thomas Coles:some research from Texas Tech uni, which I think will really
Thomas Coles:illustrate the point 83% of most companies satisfied customers
Thomas Coles:are willing to recommend them. But only 29% of those people do
Thomas Coles:without being asked. In other words, asking for a referral is
Thomas Coles:exploiting the 54%.
Jonny Adams:Yeah, no, just I just think it's fascinating
Jonny Adams:hearing those statistics. And how did you stumble across that
Jonny Adams:statistic? Thomas? Was there some sort of a trigger that you
Jonny Adams:that made you look for that piece of information to sort of
Jonny Adams:maybe prove a business case or a proof point?
Thomas Coles:A great question, there is lots and lots of
Thomas Coles:passion, in lots of people for lots of different topics. I
Thomas Coles:really dislike the word passion, because too many people overuse
Thomas Coles:it these days, if you would push me, I would say my passion in
Thomas Coles:business is asking for referrals. Therefore, I'm
Thomas Coles:constantly looking for new techniques, new tweaks, new ways
Thomas Coles:that they can be used, for example, you don't just have to
Thomas Coles:use them to generate new business. You can use them to
Thomas Coles:generate new relationships inside an existing customer. You
Thomas Coles:can use them for hiring, looking for new candidates.
Jonny Adams:And when you said passion to me, I was listening
Jonny Adams:intently thinking how does passion fit within that, and I
Jonny Adams:understand, sometimes we hear the word curiosity, as well,
Jonny Adams:you're curious about this topic, it creates interest for you as
Jonny Adams:an individual, you've probably seen some benefit as well.
Thomas Coles:I'm going to be seen as an expert on this topic.
Thomas Coles:And certainly people who I've worked with get huge, you know,
Thomas Coles:significant upside in terms of lead gen as a result, then I do
Thomas Coles:need to understand the nuances walk and work and how
Thomas Coles:relationships change how culture changes across the world.
Thomas Coles:There's all nuances we need to be aware of.
Jonny Adams:Yeah, is really interesting. Last point, you
Jonny Adams:mentioned about culture. What if by the end of the conversation,
Jonny Adams:we could probably dig a little bit deeper on that I was with a
Jonny Adams:client on Tuesday this week. And we had a very eclectic best mix
Jonny Adams:of individuals across geography. And we debated a lot about
Jonny Adams:cultural alignment, whether it works in different cultures and
Jonny Adams:how that works. And we had behavioral scientists in the
Jonny Adams:room that were helping shape the thought process, how humans
Jonny Adams:work. So interesting how that cultural piece can affect
Jonny Adams:referrals as well. So back to you, Matt.
Thomas Coles:Johnny, addressing your point around the
Thomas Coles:international challenge that referrals could present. I
Thomas Coles:simply have one piece of advice, which is very straightforward.
Thomas Coles:And actually, it can apply to almost any situation. Some
Thomas Coles:people talk to me and they say they're a bit worried about
Thomas Coles:asking for referrals that you could come across as being needy
Thomas Coles:or desperate. You had some negative sentiment like that. I
Thomas Coles:always tell them the best thing you can do. And this works
Thomas Coles:internationally to overcome the cultural challenge is to tell
Thomas Coles:anybody you talk to that you run your business using referrals.
Thomas Coles:As soon as they understand that it doesn't matter how often you
Thomas Coles:ask them. It doesn't matter how you go about asking. They'll be
Thomas Coles:more surprised if you don't ask than if you do. And that works
Thomas Coles:out so far. It worked in any culture. From the United States
Thomas Coles:to Japan. You and everywhere in between.
Jonny Adams:It is interesting, you reference that point. And
Jonny Adams:just on the reference of culture, I think the important
Jonny Adams:part that you reference there is that you're signaling your
Jonny Adams:intent, and you're a signaling your direction, and therefore
Jonny Adams:that is globally known. The other thing that is interesting,
Jonny Adams:and we learned this week from the behavioral scientists was
Jonny Adams:around the split the world into sort of three core areas, you
Jonny Adams:can look at it as sort of an Asia area, North America and a
Jonny Adams:European area, there is a distinct difference around how
Jonny Adams:people work together in business across Asia and America. The
Jonny Adams:fact that friendships, liking of your friends is seen as a much
Jonny Adams:stronger driver towards business in Asia, versus actually
Jonny Adams:America, you first of all see people as professionals, and
Jonny Adams:then friends. So I wonder how referrals play into that whether
Jonny Adams:people are sharing referrals amongst the friendship group,
Jonny Adams:first and foremost in Asia, and then probably in the
Jonny Adams:professional group in North America. I just think it's an
Jonny Adams:interesting approach.
Thomas Coles:Well, I'll respond to that by saying, firstly, I
Thomas Coles:don't actually see any difference in the results you
Thomas Coles:get across cultures. Therefore, I guess I'm saying Don't worry
Thomas Coles:about it, I'd probably add that what we are doing by asking for
Thomas Coles:referrals is effectively extending our network. If you're
Thomas Coles:only asking for referrals from friends, you're therefore rather
Thomas Coles:limiting your ability to extend your network.
Matt Best:It's such an interesting point. And I think
Matt Best:this, Thomas, I love your recommendation to the listeners
Matt Best:around, it sort of doesn't almost doesn't matter. But if
Matt Best:you signpost that point, it's part of how you win business, I
Matt Best:can think just now off the top of my head, I've got three or
Matt Best:four clients who I know who have told me that probably not in
Matt Best:such a direct way. And I wonder if that is just a just an
Matt Best:extension of that bit of advice that says, being really, really
Matt Best:clear about what that means for you. You know, rather than
Matt Best:saying something, oh, yeah, well, I get quite a lot of my
Matt Best:business from past customers. But being really, really
Matt Best:explicit about that is the primary source of business for
Matt Best:my business or growth. My business growth is through
Matt Best:referrals. Just really, putting that statement out there sets
Matt Best:out sets out that scene. And as I said, I mean, there's a
Matt Best:there's a half an easy half a dozen businesses that that I've
Matt Best:been working with who I would say could say that, and it would
Matt Best:be you know, the reality for them?
Thomas Coles:I think, given what I do, I have to say it, but
Thomas Coles:everybody should be not only saying it but truly believing
Thomas Coles:it. Why would you not be using this rich source of the
Thomas Coles:relationships you've already got in order to find new ones?
Jonny Adams:And that's exactly what we should be tackling today
Jonny Adams:is that question that you asked, which is the why and there's so
Jonny Adams:many obstacles that people face, which I know we're going to have
Jonny Adams:to tackle today in this conversation to get your advice
Jonny Adams:and expertise. Thomas, I think I think it's important that we
Jonny Adams:talk a little bit more about going into a little bit more
Jonny Adams:about these referrals and some examples. And then let's tackle
Jonny Adams:that topic of, I think we're all building a business case here,
Jonny Adams:which is great that they work. And I'm sure we could pull in
Jonny Adams:loads of examples. It's just why do people not do it, which I'm
Jonny Adams:really interested intrigued about tackling throughout
Jonny Adams:today's conversation.
Thomas Coles:We need to address the fact that 82% of people who
Thomas Coles:are looking to procure something new looking for a new vendor,
Thomas Coles:who never get as far as doing a Google search when they're
Thomas Coles:looking for a new vendor, because they ask their network
Thomas Coles:and never get any further. So if you don't use referrals, you're
Thomas Coles:only targeting 18% of the available budget.
Jonny Adams:There is a prime example of success that we've
Jonny Adams:found, where through driving using intimacy with another
Jonny Adams:organization that we've worked with for seven years. The story
Jonny Adams:behind it to your point that Thomas is this individual that
Jonny Adams:we've built a strong relationship with, we actually
Jonny Adams:actually never procured from SBR. So never actually bought
Jonny Adams:our services. But we built and formed a strong relationship. So
Jonny Adams:they saw as a trusted adviser, another client that we've
Jonny Adams:recently won a net new logo, a large global program that's
Jonny Adams:going to go across three core regions 150 sales professionals
Jonny Adams:to revolutionize the way that they deliver consultative
Jonny Adams:selling. And that came from an individual messaging out to her
Jonny Adams:peers saying Do you know any business that is interested in
Jonny Adams:sales transformation? Interestingly, nine months
Jonny Adams:before I'd asked that individual that that sheds her SBR Have you
Jonny Adams:got any anyone in your network that might be valuable for us to
Jonny Adams:talk to asking specifically for referrals? So to your point,
Jonny Adams:that individual never went on the internet to look, they
Jonny Adams:actually had asked their network? Who would you
Jonny Adams:recommend? So that element of asking for referrals, and then
Jonny Adams:being at that business at the front of the PICU, I'm sure was
Jonny Adams:something that you're alluding to that.
Matt Best:And maybe Johnny, I'll just add, add another light
Matt Best:bulb that's just gone on for me here. Thomas Ajani just around
Matt Best:when I think about this is, this is almost an opportunity as well
Matt Best:to get things earlier in the buying cycle, because you're a
Matt Best:big part of those preliminary conversations are had in a sort
Matt Best:of safer space. Those who are going to kind of internet
Matt Best:search, maybe have done a little bit more thinking whereas
Matt Best:someone who's sat there thinking, well, maybe I need
Matt Best:this. Hey, I'll just ask you a couple of my mates in the
Matt Best:market. I just asked a couple of my mates, you know, even a
Matt Best:couple of my mates down the pub who I know work in a similar
Matt Best:industry. What have you done to fix this? Do you have this
Matt Best:problem? Oh, yeah, I do, you should go and speak to x, y, and
Matt Best:Zed. And I guess that's a big part of it as well. Thomas right
Matt Best:in terms of getting in, or, or opening doors earlier in the
Matt Best:conversation as a result of being somebody who then becomes
Matt Best:who's given that opportunity to take that real consultative
Matt Best:approach towards helping a customer see where procuring a
Matt Best:service, whatever that might be, is going to help them in driving
Matt Best:their business forward.
Thomas Coles:Yeah, you're absolutely right, Matt, I would
Thomas Coles:characterize it as being there at the right time to help to
Thomas Coles:shape their thinking. So if you think about the way you might
Thomas Coles:personally consider buying a car, you probably use the
Thomas Coles:internet to research what model you want to research colors,
Thomas Coles:that sort of stuff. But then when it gets to the point where
Thomas Coles:you're actively going to go and find a dealer who would suit you
Thomas Coles:probably asked friends, you know, what good experiences have
Thomas Coles:you had? What dealers would they recommend? Rather than asking
Thomas Coles:for reviews on the Internet? I often ask delegates who I'm
Thomas Coles:working with in order to help them develop their referrals
Thomas Coles:technique. When was the last time they asked for a referral?
Thomas Coles:When was the last time they gave a referral because these things
Thomas Coles:should definitely be reciprocal. SBR talking about giving to get
Thomas Coles:and the vast majority of people talk about fact that they
Thomas Coles:routinely have asked for referrals and given referrals in
Thomas Coles:their personal life, but they often have not been using it
Thomas Coles:systematically in their professional lives.
Matt Best:Yeah, tell us what's your perspective on why that is?
Thomas Coles:It's a difficult question to answer. My
Thomas Coles:experience is that far too many businesses are and far too many
Thomas Coles:individuals in businesses are embarrassed of asking for
Thomas Coles:referrals, which is why I talk about that mindset shift,
Thomas Coles:needing to say, look, I run my business on referrals,
Thomas Coles:therefore, it stops being embarrassing, and starts
Thomas Coles:becoming just an absolutely routine thing. It needs to
Thomas Coles:become a habit, people have to get into the habit of asking for
Thomas Coles:referrals at every opportunity. Whereas quite often here are
Thomas Coles:people who think they do need to be asking for referrals,
Thomas Coles:realizing too late that five minutes after they left the
Thomas Coles:meeting, rather than during the meeting.
Matt Best:Why do you think that might be the case? Because I
Matt Best:mean, again, going back to that sort of personal versus
Matt Best:business? And yeah, I guess is that is the difference here that
Matt Best:we're asking for a referral to procure services more often in
Matt Best:our personal life than perhaps to sell services? Yeah, I
Matt Best:wouldn't necessarily see a friend in the pub and say, you
Matt Best:should buy these trainers. In fact, anyone who knows me will,
Matt Best:will the test the fact that I do actually do that, which is
Matt Best:probably a bad example.
Jonny Adams:But I'd never buy your trainers by the way. So
Jonny Adams:yeah. Not interested.
Matt Best:Yeah. What's your take on that, and this gets us
Matt Best:Thomas, I think into some more of the sort of practicalities of
Matt Best:how to start to generate the sort of referrals and to develop
Matt Best:those critical habits.
Thomas Coles:I think your point around the difference between
Thomas Coles:personal life and professional life is largely that you would
Thomas Coles:only ever asked a friend when you're looking for a new
Thomas Coles:supplier of something. And therefore you've got a trusted
Thomas Coles:relationship with them trusting relationship with them. Whereas
Thomas Coles:in professional life, not every individual working in an
Thomas Coles:organization is going to say that they trust the people in
Thomas Coles:their client or vice versa. That's the bit that you need to
Thomas Coles:overcome the mindset that you'd need to overcome. As long as you
Thomas Coles:have a professional and some level of trusting relationship,
Thomas Coles:then you can be asking many people that you come across and
Thomas Coles:should be asking many people that you come across whether
Thomas Coles:they can make any effect recommendations for you, but
Thomas Coles:therefore give you a referral.
Jonny Adams:So you know, one of the things is the trust
Jonny Adams:equation, and you talk about trust there. And when we think
Jonny Adams:about the trust equation, we've got trustworthiness equals
Jonny Adams:credibility plus reliability plus intimacy, divided by self
Jonny Adams:orientation. And I wonder when we're thinking about trust that
Jonny Adams:which will drive referrals. So I agree with you, you need to have
Jonny Adams:a trusted relationship with someone to feel like one they
Jonny Adams:can refer you to others, and to you're comfortable to refer
Jonny Adams:them. What area of that trust equation do you think's
Jonny Adams:important to really index on when using referrals? Or talking
Jonny Adams:about trust?
Thomas Coles:I characterize it slightly differently that Johnny
Thomas Coles:and I completely appreciate the point you're making about the
Thomas Coles:equation. When I use the word Trust. I mean, perhaps respect,
Thomas Coles:is there sufficient respect in the relationship in a
Thomas Coles:professional relationship between two people who don't
Thomas Coles:work for the same company, that they are therefore willing to
Thomas Coles:help each other out? That maybe that's a better word wishing and
Thomas Coles:trust.
Jonny Adams:That's important to reference. If we're looking at
Jonny Adams:Trust, the reason why I anchor back towards the trust equation,
Jonny Adams:just to talk about that is that I had a really good conversation
Jonny Adams:with founder this week, and we're a partner of theirs.
Jonny Adams:They're a partner of ours and we're looking to win a
Jonny Adams:collective deal together. There needs to be trust there, but
Jonny Adams:there needs to be trust to refer one another to each business.
Jonny Adams:And I wonder if we look at the top three areas credibility,
Jonny Adams:reliability and intimacy I think everyone that's being referred
Jonny Adams:or you're willing to refer someone else, there must be some
Jonny Adams:element of credibility in that relationship, you must have some
Jonny Adams:type of possible brand equity or there must be some type of
Jonny Adams:proven experience in the past that you could demonstrate
Jonny Adams:possible outcome. Or at the simplest form, if you meet them
Jonny Adams:at a networking event, as long as you're showing credibility
Jonny Adams:around what you deliver. I think the other thing is reliability,
Jonny Adams:having that consistency to always be on time, be punctual
Jonny Adams:and be consistent in the relationship you've got with
Jonny Adams:that person. And the final one is intimacy. I don't know about
Jonny Adams:you guys, but building and forming that relationship that
Jonny Adams:goes a little bit deeper than just surface level questions and
Jonny Adams:thinking about those questions. So I think to answer one of the
Jonny Adams:questions that we've sort of alluded to, which is, why do
Jonny Adams:people not do referrals, which is what we're getting to, I
Jonny Adams:wonder if the trust equation is something that we could as
Jonny Adams:professionals anchor against, and those three areas that might
Jonny Adams:be valuable?
Thomas Coles:Good point. So I was thinking, as you were
Thomas Coles:talking through that journey, that may be I was using respect
Thomas Coles:as a synonym for credibility, in order to have credibility, there
Thomas Coles:must be respect, and you can't get respect without seeing some
Thomas Coles:credibility demonstrated.
Matt Best:Perfect. Yeah. And I think maybe we gravitate more
Matt Best:towards those trusted relationships. I guess that's
Matt Best:that point that you're making there, Johnny, is that when you
Matt Best:do have a trusted relationship, it gets easier and easier to ask
Matt Best:for referrals. And maybe Thomas, there's that sort of the next
Matt Best:layer out from that is, is and you're talking about the minimum
Matt Best:requirement in order to ask for a referral. And having that
Matt Best:credibility. Clearly, we'd love to know those trusted
Matt Best:relationships are ones that are more comfortable, and where it's
Matt Best:easier to ask for a referral. But if we step outside of that
Matt Best:comfort zone, then looking at how we're demonstrating the
Matt Best:credibility that we've got, and I know Thomas from conversations
Matt Best:that that we've had before you, you share an example of how you
Matt Best:would, how you would teach this to to clients and, and using the
Matt Best:using the conference speech analogy, I wonder if it might be
Matt Best:useful to share that with our listeners today, just to show, I
Matt Best:guess the the other end of that extreme.
Thomas Coles:Yeah, the conference is probably a
Thomas Coles:situation, if you're a speaker on stage at a conference,
Thomas Coles:probably a situation where many people listening would feel
Thomas Coles:deeply uncomfortable. Anyway, I push them even further, I would
Thomas Coles:say that the best thing you can do, when you are given the
Thomas Coles:opportunity of speaking to an audience on stage, is to ask for
Thomas Coles:a referral whilst you're up there, you probably have to
Thomas Coles:gamify it in order to get several referrals, there's
Thomas Coles:probably got to be some sort of reward for one or more of the
Thomas Coles:people who come back to you. But where I've persuaded clients to
Thomas Coles:do it, they've had amazing success. It requires real guts.
Matt Best:So Thomas, how does that work?
Thomas Coles:In practice, I would say if you're on stage,
Thomas Coles:people are probably listening to you unless you've been really
Thomas Coles:tedious up to that point in the speech. Therefore, you probably
Thomas Coles:need to use humor, in order to just use humor to sort of defend
Thomas Coles:yourself. Rather than saying, I run my business on referrals,
Thomas Coles:when you're on stage more likely make a joke and fail. I thought
Thomas Coles:I'd take the opportunity. Whilst you're all listening to me. Do
Thomas Coles:it as simple as that tone of voice bit of humor, then go in
Thomas Coles:with a question. I would like to be introduced to anyone you
Thomas Coles:know, who does this.
Matt Best:So Thomas, you know, clearly that there's there's
Matt Best:probably a lot of people listening to this thinking, Oh,
Matt Best:my gosh, well, not only do I maybe not get that many
Matt Best:opportunities to stand up on the stage. But also, I feel like I
Matt Best:have to take some smaller steps first. And clearly. That's what
Matt Best:you're trying to encourage them how you're trying to encourage
Matt Best:them to think by demonstrating quite how how any situation it's
Matt Best:possible to ask for referral. But what are you what are you
Matt Best:trying to steer them towards? Is there a particular point that
Matt Best:sits between standing on stage in front of 500 people and
Matt Best:asking your friend for a referral? Like what would you
Matt Best:say is that sweet spot?
Thomas Coles:I'm going to be slightly facetious. I suspect in
Thomas Coles:replying to that question, Matt, every conversation you have is a
Thomas Coles:potential opportunity to ask for a referral. Let me give you
Thomas Coles:another example where people might feel uncomfortable. When
Thomas Coles:you're off to a conference or event. There are loads of people
Thomas Coles:at that event who you've never met before. Therefore, by
Thomas Coles:definition, you do not have that trusting, respectful
Thomas Coles:relationship with you don't have any credibility. But even in
Thomas Coles:those circumstances, you can ask strangers for a referral. And
Thomas Coles:you will get a remarkably high hit rate, just in the sense of
Thomas Coles:receiving the right names, the right sorts of names from those
Thomas Coles:strangers, because in many cases, those people who you've
Thomas Coles:never met before are just grateful for having conversation
Thomas Coles:with you. They're in a room full of strangers to and therefore
Thomas Coles:human nature is that they will be grateful to you for
Thomas Coles:initiating a conversation, and therefore they'll try to help
Thomas Coles:you.
Jonny Adams:I'm in that networking event. Now. You've
Jonny Adams:just put your teleported me in there, and I can feel myself and
Jonny Adams:what I hear is asked for a referral. I don't feel
Jonny Adams:comfortable when saying, hey, you know, I'm talking about
Jonny Adams:other people here. I still don't feel comfortable and going so
Jonny Adams:can I you know, can I have a referral? Is there a technique
Jonny Adams:that you recommend that you could use to soften that? Can I
Jonny Adams:have a referral? Is there any sort of advice Thomas, you've
Jonny Adams:got in that environment of a network. And thanks, I think
Jonny Adams:most people would go to a networking event rather than
Jonny Adams:possibly being on stage. So maybe that's the environment we
Jonny Adams:could tackle.
Thomas Coles:I would say you have to go to those sorts of
Thomas Coles:networking events and seek out to the people who are feeling
Thomas Coles:nervous and maybe not managed to enter into conversations, then
Thomas Coles:actively approach them, the technique that you need is to
Thomas Coles:find out about them. First, we in SBR, talk about being
Thomas Coles:interested as opposed to interesting. So find out what
Thomas Coles:they are, therefore, first find out about their business, their
Thomas Coles:background, which gives you the opportunity to show interest in
Thomas Coles:them, which is a good thing anyway, before you ask for a
Thomas Coles:referral. But it also gives you the opportunity to customize the
Thomas Coles:question you asked when you seek a referral to the sort of
Thomas Coles:network that they're going to have having listened to who they
Thomas Coles:are.
Jonny Adams:And just to continue, where we have worked
Jonny Adams:with a number of behavioral scientists. And I'm a firm
Jonny Adams:believer that to manage my own mindset, I use science, you
Jonny Adams:know, material information that's proven by research to put
Jonny Adams:myself in the right mindset. And one thing I do know is that when
Jonny Adams:we ask for advice, not help of human beings, people are more
Jonny Adams:willing to provide advice and the knowledge we are inherently
Jonny Adams:there to help as human beings, which I found really
Jonny Adams:interesting. And equally, when we asked for advice. The person
Jonny Adams:who is asking for the advice to the to the individual feels like
Jonny Adams:we're actually taking something away from them. So that's why we
Jonny Adams:don't ask for referrals a lot of time because we think that
Jonny Adams:there's a economic reduction in that other individual. But
Jonny Adams:actually, in fact, the person who's receiving the request for
Jonny Adams:advice or a referral actually sees that there is a social
Jonny Adams:obligation to respond, which is, again, really interesting. So
Jonny Adams:what some of those other tips that you could share with the
Jonny Adams:listeners that would sort of make people sort of stand up and
Jonny Adams:go, right, I'm going to ask for some advice or some referrals.
Thomas Coles:So I actually don't use the word advice, just
Thomas Coles:because in English grammar, it's like people could, I talked
Thomas Coles:about guidance, but you can absolutely tackle the same point
Thomas Coles:you're making Johnny is simply about the semantics. And so that
Thomas Coles:I would go through giving the person who I'm talking to
Thomas Coles:whether I know them or not bit of a pat on the back, them some
Thomas Coles:organizations talking about giving them a stroke, an ego
Thomas Coles:boost. In other words, I'd really appreciate your guidance
Thomas Coles:on who you think I should be working with next. And then you
Thomas Coles:can go in which we're asking for the referral. I've seen the word
Thomas Coles:guidance work better than advice in that particular context.
Matt Best:I think something that that highlights me there,
Matt Best:Thomas, as well as in a couple of things that you've shared,
Matt Best:that I just want to sort of pull out is asking an understanding
Matt Best:about somebody else's situation first is what's going to help us
Matt Best:in building that credibility in the conversation is gonna, what
Matt Best:it's gonna be what helps us in building rapport and the
Matt Best:conversation, because I think a big part of it is, you know, I
Matt Best:don't know when we would never sort of advocate for so just
Matt Best:hurry up and shaking someone's hand saying, right, tell me who
Matt Best:have you got in your network, you think you wrote refer me to,
Matt Best:these are the things that I do? Let's see how we can help one
Matt Best:another out, right? By reminding ourselves that actually, we
Matt Best:still need to stay, we still need to be interested in them
Matt Best:not interesting. And we still need to start with questions and
Matt Best:start with building an understanding of, of their
Matt Best:business and their challenges. Before we then respond with, you
Matt Best:know, with with with asking for a referral, and then wrapping
Matt Best:that up in Johnny, and your point around sort of advice and
Matt Best:guidance is using that sort of humbly, but also recognizing
Matt Best:that if we ask for that, we are likely to get that we are still
Matt Best:likely to get that response. Thomas, just as we close up our
Matt Best:conversation from today, we started with three key things
Matt Best:that helps you is that helped you in being successful? If
Matt Best:you've got someone listening to this podcast, who's relatively
Matt Best:new to referrals, and hasn't seen it as a as a way of
Matt Best:developing business? How would you sort of summarize the three
Matt Best:key things for those sorts of individuals to be thinking about
Matt Best:and to maybe start to put into practice to really develop this
Matt Best:referral habit?
Thomas Coles:Very simple to answer that question. The three
Thomas Coles:things are, firstly, you have to be in the habit. So create an
Thomas Coles:accountability mechanism for yourself to exhibit those
Thomas Coles:behaviors and get you into the habit of asking for a referral
Thomas Coles:as every opportunity. How to get into a habit varies reach
Thomas Coles:individual, but make sure you get into the habit. The second
Thomas Coles:thing is the technique that you need to use in order to ask for
Thomas Coles:a referral is not to simply ask, but we need to be exploring, if
Thomas Coles:you like the mental Little Black Book of the person we are
Thomas Coles:asking, we need to help them to explore it. And the third thing
Thomas Coles:I would say is actually a negative. I have never paid for
Thomas Coles:a referral. A lot of people asked that question and should
Thomas Coles:we be rewarding the person who gives us referrals. I've been
Thomas Coles:the recipient of over a couple of bottles of nice red wine or
Thomas Coles:champagne. And that's fantastic when I've given referrals to
Thomas Coles:people, but there is no need to do that where you've got
Thomas Coles:especially where you've got the trusting relationship or the
Thomas Coles:respectful relationship. You do not need to pay or reward people
Thomas Coles:for referral, they're just willing to do it out of the
Thomas Coles:goodness of their hearts, which I think comes back to Johnny's
Thomas Coles:point around the psychology of this, that the act of asking for
Thomas Coles:referrals is primarily a psychological thing, which is
Thomas Coles:why the habit is so important, because there are psychological
Thomas Coles:barriers for most people.
Jonny Adams:I think that's awesome. I even think the act of
Jonny Adams:having this conversation now has prompted me to think about my
Jonny Adams:meetings today. And also the preparation that's required to
Jonny Adams:before those meetings to just put in the, you know, the
Jonny Adams:personal prep meeting prep message to say, ask for
Jonny Adams:referrals or ask for guidance in that as well. So, you know,
Jonny Adams:you're even having this conversation with two wonderful
Jonny Adams:consultants, like yourself, business winners, you know,
Jonny Adams:business owners and people have done so well in your own
Jonny Adams:careers, it's really sort of prompted that point of bringing
Jonny Adams:it to the surface again, I might just have to get a tattoo to
Jonny Adams:make sure that I see it every day. But this has been really
Jonny Adams:helpful. Thank you, Thomas.
Matt Best:Wonderful. And yeah, Johnny, I agree. There's this
Matt Best:bring it into our conscious competence and thinking about
Matt Best:this. And, Thomas, thank you so much for your fantastic advice
Matt Best:and guidance to us into into the audience on today's podcast.
Matt Best:Thank you so much for joining us today, Johnny. Thank you as well
Matt Best:as ever, and thank you to all of our listeners of the growth
Matt Best:workshop podcast. We look forward to seeing you again soon.
Thomas Coles:Right. Thank you both.