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Episode 5 - How To Ask For Referrals with Thomas Coles: Your Network Is Your Net Worth
31st May 2024 • The Growth Workshop Podcast • Southwestern Family of Podcasts
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We’re joined by successful entrepreneur, Thomas Coles, discussing how, and when to ask for referrals for developing your business. 82% of potential clients prefer seeking recommendations from their network over online searches. We talk psychological barriers, building trusted relationship with your network, and the impact this can have in creating opportunities. Who knows what opportunities currently lie in your network.

Transcripts

Matt Best:

Hello, and welcome to the Growth Workshop Podcast with

Matt Best:

your host today, Matt Best and Jonny Adams. We're joined today

Matt Best:

by the fantastic Thomas Coles. And we're really, really looking

Matt Best:

forward to exploring how Thomas has been successful

Matt Best:

entrepreneur, developing and growing businesses over his

Matt Best:

illustrious career. But as is customary on the Growth Workshop

Matt Best:

Podcast, Thomas, I'd like just to welcome you with our first

Matt Best:

question, which is, tell us what's been interesting in your

Matt Best:

week, this week, what's gone on that you can share with our

Matt Best:

listeners to get everyone excited at the start of today's

Matt Best:

podcast?

Thomas Coles:

Hello both of you. Hello, everybody. And thank you

Thomas Coles:

for the introduction. The best thing that's happened in my week

Thomas Coles:

has probably been how busy they've been starting from

Thomas Coles:

before eight o'clock Monday morning, getting an order from a

Thomas Coles:

new customer, right the way through the week, it has been

Thomas Coles:

fantastic.

Matt Best:

Brilliant and incredibly productive, which is

Matt Best:

fantastic. Thank you. And Jonny, what about you? You always have

Matt Best:

a normally an interesting story to share with, uh, with us at

Matt Best:

the start of this podcast.

Jonny Adams:

Oh, Matt, you've set the standards high there. So

Jonny Adams:

a personal sort of achievement achieved the management,

Jonny Adams:

consultancy chartered status, which puts me in the top 1000

Jonny Adams:

management consultants in the UK, it effectively means that as

Jonny Adams:

a business and as an individual running programs with our

Jonny Adams:

clients, I uphold certain standards and ethics when

Jonny Adams:

delivering transformation projects. So that was a really

Jonny Adams:

sort of personal achievement over to Matt, what's going on in

Jonny Adams:

your world?

Matt Best:

I think in my week, this week has been a chance I

Matt Best:

came off the back of a really a really busy week last week,

Matt Best:

actually. And Thomas much saw yourself lots and lots of

Matt Best:

meetings, really effective, great conversations. And we all

Matt Best:

know that in business development and sales, the week

Matt Best:

that follows that is a week of follow ups. And that's really

Matt Best:

what what this week has been about. But it's, it's really

Matt Best:

great being able to reflect on those fantastic conversations

Matt Best:

with clients and prospects. And if we think about our listeners

Matt Best:

to this podcast, and their own sort of focus on growth, just a

Matt Best:

little reminder of all of that hardware that you put in what

Matt Best:

comes out, and maybe some of our listeners will have shared your

Matt Best:

pre 8am contract signatures, solid switches, which is always

Matt Best:

a nice way to start the week.

Thomas Coles:

Let's hope so.

Matt Best:

Wonderful. Well, it's always you're a serial

Matt Best:

entrepreneur, right? You've got vast experience in developing

Matt Best:

and growing businesses. So tell us what's your biggest success?

Thomas Coles:

There's been all sorts of amazing teams that I've

Thomas Coles:

worked with over the years. But probably if I had to choose one

Thomas Coles:

thing, I would say, selling one businesses and 82 times return

Thomas Coles:

that has to stand out as allied.

Matt Best:

Wow, yes. Why are you still working?

Thomas Coles:

People do ask that question. I would say divorce is

Thomas Coles:

expensive. And my daughter wants to be a doctor. So I've got at

Thomas Coles:

least another nine years in me.

Jonny Adams:

Just being married for one year, Thomas, I'm taking

Jonny Adams:

notes. So thank you very much for that.

Matt Best:

So eighty two times return flipping businesses is,

Matt Best:

you know, clearly sets you out. As someone who knows who knows

Matt Best:

very well, what they're doing. We'd love to know, what are the

Matt Best:

three things that have helped you in being so successful with

Matt Best:

that business, but also with the other businesses that you've

Matt Best:

worked with and achieved growth for?

Thomas Coles:

There are three really clear, easy answers to

Thomas Coles:

that question. Firstly, the most successful way of generating new

Thomas Coles:

revenue, and therefore growing businesses has always been using

Thomas Coles:

referrals. The second thing that I have to highlight in terms of

Thomas Coles:

total revenue coming from growth has to be around account

Thomas Coles:

management, looking after customers, growing the

Thomas Coles:

relationships with customers and retaining them, that one was my

Thomas Coles:

business's biggest one had an average customer lifecycle of

Thomas Coles:

over 10 years, that's quite special. And then I think you

Thomas Coles:

probably wouldn't be surprised to hear the third way of

Thomas Coles:

generating new business. And therefore being successful is

Thomas Coles:

through what we call code saving, that is following

Thomas Coles:

customers as they change jobs. If they've been happy, they can

Thomas Coles:

be a happy customer.

Matt Best:

Again Thomas, it's great to have those sort of

Matt Best:

three key areas. And we'd love to dig into each of those. And

Matt Best:

I'm paying particular attention to number one and referrals. But

Matt Best:

just before we do that account management is something very

Matt Best:

close to my heart and, and my experience in customer success

Matt Best:

and running account management teams. And I think it's such a

Matt Best:

can sometimes be such an under appreciated side of the

Matt Best:

business, I was having a conversation with the CS leader

Matt Best:

just the other day, and we were talking about the volume of

Matt Best:

business and the cost of losing business is so seldom seen as a

Matt Best:

source of risk and all that focus gets put on to sales and

Matt Best:

acquiring new logos. And then you turn around and if half your

Matt Best:

customer base is gone, you've undone all of that good work. So

Matt Best:

it's such a I think, just wanted to share my view and my

Matt Best:

perspective there as someone that you I think account

Matt Best:

management is so so key especially in in services

Matt Best:

businesses where you've got ongoing commitments and sewers,

Matt Best:

you know, in modern SAS, of course, and 10 years is quite

Matt Best:

something I mean, you must go through a number, a number of

Matt Best:

key stakeholders in that time. So it just demonstrates that

Matt Best:

good account managers really are are really impactful and

Matt Best:

effective in one's business.

Thomas Coles:

People talking about means winning deals teams

Thomas Coles:

also keep customers happy is not down to one account manager is

Thomas Coles:

down to a whole multitude of different roles, both on the

Thomas Coles:

client side and the supplier side. Therefore, having the

Thomas Coles:

opportunity to make sure there is continuity when one

Thomas Coles:

stakeholder leaves, I always thought that the best thing that

Thomas Coles:

can happen is that a happy customer leaves because you keep

Thomas Coles:

the happy customer organization, and they become a prospect in

Thomas Coles:

their new job.

Matt Best:

Leading nicely into your third point of

Matt Best:

coattailling. Right, and the importance of maintaining those

Matt Best:

strong relationships, and then following them around the

Matt Best:

industry.

Thomas Coles:

I tell a story about one insurance client, I

Thomas Coles:

won back in the year 2000. And by the time we'd finish that

Thomas Coles:

relationship with that one organization 16 years later, and

Thomas Coles:

that was due to an acquisition of them. We had generated, I

Thomas Coles:

think 25 million of revenue from referrals. Coattailing and that

Thomas Coles:

customer relationship.

Matt Best:

I mean, that's incredible, right? I mean, have

Matt Best:

you set that goal for various sales professionals just on

Matt Best:

their own?

Thomas Coles:

I can still tell you what we paid for the Pay Per

Thomas Coles:

Click, Google lead, turned into that relation ship? 880 pounds.

Matt Best:

That's some ROI. That's awesome. Yeah, that is

Matt Best:

that's very cool. And I think thinking about that, Thomas, and

Matt Best:

you mentioned there that essentially that person becoming

Matt Best:

an extension of your sales team, right. And as, as referrals as a

Matt Best:

tool, or a thing that helps achieve this growth is exactly

Matt Best:

that. It's extending your sales organization out through your

Matt Best:

trusted relationships and the partnerships that you have with

Matt Best:

clients who really advocate for you in the market and advocate

Matt Best:

for the product. So I mean, tell us a little bit more maybe I

Matt Best:

start with a sort of fairly simple question. There might be

Matt Best:

some people on there listening to the podcast today thinking,

Matt Best:

What does referrals really mean? What is what is referrals? So

Matt Best:

how would you define referrals? What does it mean?

Thomas Coles:

Let me illustrate it with going to the there's

Thomas Coles:

some research from Texas Tech uni, which I think will really

Thomas Coles:

illustrate the point 83% of most companies satisfied customers

Thomas Coles:

are willing to recommend them. But only 29% of those people do

Thomas Coles:

without being asked. In other words, asking for a referral is

Thomas Coles:

exploiting the 54%.

Jonny Adams:

Yeah, no, just I just think it's fascinating

Jonny Adams:

hearing those statistics. And how did you stumble across that

Jonny Adams:

statistic? Thomas? Was there some sort of a trigger that you

Jonny Adams:

that made you look for that piece of information to sort of

Jonny Adams:

maybe prove a business case or a proof point?

Thomas Coles:

A great question, there is lots and lots of

Thomas Coles:

passion, in lots of people for lots of different topics. I

Thomas Coles:

really dislike the word passion, because too many people overuse

Thomas Coles:

it these days, if you would push me, I would say my passion in

Thomas Coles:

business is asking for referrals. Therefore, I'm

Thomas Coles:

constantly looking for new techniques, new tweaks, new ways

Thomas Coles:

that they can be used, for example, you don't just have to

Thomas Coles:

use them to generate new business. You can use them to

Thomas Coles:

generate new relationships inside an existing customer. You

Thomas Coles:

can use them for hiring, looking for new candidates.

Jonny Adams:

And when you said passion to me, I was listening

Jonny Adams:

intently thinking how does passion fit within that, and I

Jonny Adams:

understand, sometimes we hear the word curiosity, as well,

Jonny Adams:

you're curious about this topic, it creates interest for you as

Jonny Adams:

an individual, you've probably seen some benefit as well.

Thomas Coles:

I'm going to be seen as an expert on this topic.

Thomas Coles:

And certainly people who I've worked with get huge, you know,

Thomas Coles:

significant upside in terms of lead gen as a result, then I do

Thomas Coles:

need to understand the nuances walk and work and how

Thomas Coles:

relationships change how culture changes across the world.

Thomas Coles:

There's all nuances we need to be aware of.

Jonny Adams:

Yeah, is really interesting. Last point, you

Jonny Adams:

mentioned about culture. What if by the end of the conversation,

Jonny Adams:

we could probably dig a little bit deeper on that I was with a

Jonny Adams:

client on Tuesday this week. And we had a very eclectic best mix

Jonny Adams:

of individuals across geography. And we debated a lot about

Jonny Adams:

cultural alignment, whether it works in different cultures and

Jonny Adams:

how that works. And we had behavioral scientists in the

Jonny Adams:

room that were helping shape the thought process, how humans

Jonny Adams:

work. So interesting how that cultural piece can affect

Jonny Adams:

referrals as well. So back to you, Matt.

Thomas Coles:

Johnny, addressing your point around the

Thomas Coles:

international challenge that referrals could present. I

Thomas Coles:

simply have one piece of advice, which is very straightforward.

Thomas Coles:

And actually, it can apply to almost any situation. Some

Thomas Coles:

people talk to me and they say they're a bit worried about

Thomas Coles:

asking for referrals that you could come across as being needy

Thomas Coles:

or desperate. You had some negative sentiment like that. I

Thomas Coles:

always tell them the best thing you can do. And this works

Thomas Coles:

internationally to overcome the cultural challenge is to tell

Thomas Coles:

anybody you talk to that you run your business using referrals.

Thomas Coles:

As soon as they understand that it doesn't matter how often you

Thomas Coles:

ask them. It doesn't matter how you go about asking. They'll be

Thomas Coles:

more surprised if you don't ask than if you do. And that works

Thomas Coles:

out so far. It worked in any culture. From the United States

Thomas Coles:

to Japan. You and everywhere in between.

Jonny Adams:

It is interesting, you reference that point. And

Jonny Adams:

just on the reference of culture, I think the important

Jonny Adams:

part that you reference there is that you're signaling your

Jonny Adams:

intent, and you're a signaling your direction, and therefore

Jonny Adams:

that is globally known. The other thing that is interesting,

Jonny Adams:

and we learned this week from the behavioral scientists was

Jonny Adams:

around the split the world into sort of three core areas, you

Jonny Adams:

can look at it as sort of an Asia area, North America and a

Jonny Adams:

European area, there is a distinct difference around how

Jonny Adams:

people work together in business across Asia and America. The

Jonny Adams:

fact that friendships, liking of your friends is seen as a much

Jonny Adams:

stronger driver towards business in Asia, versus actually

Jonny Adams:

America, you first of all see people as professionals, and

Jonny Adams:

then friends. So I wonder how referrals play into that whether

Jonny Adams:

people are sharing referrals amongst the friendship group,

Jonny Adams:

first and foremost in Asia, and then probably in the

Jonny Adams:

professional group in North America. I just think it's an

Jonny Adams:

interesting approach.

Thomas Coles:

Well, I'll respond to that by saying, firstly, I

Thomas Coles:

don't actually see any difference in the results you

Thomas Coles:

get across cultures. Therefore, I guess I'm saying Don't worry

Thomas Coles:

about it, I'd probably add that what we are doing by asking for

Thomas Coles:

referrals is effectively extending our network. If you're

Thomas Coles:

only asking for referrals from friends, you're therefore rather

Thomas Coles:

limiting your ability to extend your network.

Matt Best:

It's such an interesting point. And I think

Matt Best:

this, Thomas, I love your recommendation to the listeners

Matt Best:

around, it sort of doesn't almost doesn't matter. But if

Matt Best:

you signpost that point, it's part of how you win business, I

Matt Best:

can think just now off the top of my head, I've got three or

Matt Best:

four clients who I know who have told me that probably not in

Matt Best:

such a direct way. And I wonder if that is just a just an

Matt Best:

extension of that bit of advice that says, being really, really

Matt Best:

clear about what that means for you. You know, rather than

Matt Best:

saying something, oh, yeah, well, I get quite a lot of my

Matt Best:

business from past customers. But being really, really

Matt Best:

explicit about that is the primary source of business for

Matt Best:

my business or growth. My business growth is through

Matt Best:

referrals. Just really, putting that statement out there sets

Matt Best:

out sets out that scene. And as I said, I mean, there's a

Matt Best:

there's a half an easy half a dozen businesses that that I've

Matt Best:

been working with who I would say could say that, and it would

Matt Best:

be you know, the reality for them?

Thomas Coles:

I think, given what I do, I have to say it, but

Thomas Coles:

everybody should be not only saying it but truly believing

Thomas Coles:

it. Why would you not be using this rich source of the

Thomas Coles:

relationships you've already got in order to find new ones?

Jonny Adams:

And that's exactly what we should be tackling today

Jonny Adams:

is that question that you asked, which is the why and there's so

Jonny Adams:

many obstacles that people face, which I know we're going to have

Jonny Adams:

to tackle today in this conversation to get your advice

Jonny Adams:

and expertise. Thomas, I think I think it's important that we

Jonny Adams:

talk a little bit more about going into a little bit more

Jonny Adams:

about these referrals and some examples. And then let's tackle

Jonny Adams:

that topic of, I think we're all building a business case here,

Jonny Adams:

which is great that they work. And I'm sure we could pull in

Jonny Adams:

loads of examples. It's just why do people not do it, which I'm

Jonny Adams:

really interested intrigued about tackling throughout

Jonny Adams:

today's conversation.

Thomas Coles:

We need to address the fact that 82% of people who

Thomas Coles:

are looking to procure something new looking for a new vendor,

Thomas Coles:

who never get as far as doing a Google search when they're

Thomas Coles:

looking for a new vendor, because they ask their network

Thomas Coles:

and never get any further. So if you don't use referrals, you're

Thomas Coles:

only targeting 18% of the available budget.

Jonny Adams:

There is a prime example of success that we've

Jonny Adams:

found, where through driving using intimacy with another

Jonny Adams:

organization that we've worked with for seven years. The story

Jonny Adams:

behind it to your point that Thomas is this individual that

Jonny Adams:

we've built a strong relationship with, we actually

Jonny Adams:

actually never procured from SBR. So never actually bought

Jonny Adams:

our services. But we built and formed a strong relationship. So

Jonny Adams:

they saw as a trusted adviser, another client that we've

Jonny Adams:

recently won a net new logo, a large global program that's

Jonny Adams:

going to go across three core regions 150 sales professionals

Jonny Adams:

to revolutionize the way that they deliver consultative

Jonny Adams:

selling. And that came from an individual messaging out to her

Jonny Adams:

peers saying Do you know any business that is interested in

Jonny Adams:

sales transformation? Interestingly, nine months

Jonny Adams:

before I'd asked that individual that that sheds her SBR Have you

Jonny Adams:

got any anyone in your network that might be valuable for us to

Jonny Adams:

talk to asking specifically for referrals? So to your point,

Jonny Adams:

that individual never went on the internet to look, they

Jonny Adams:

actually had asked their network? Who would you

Jonny Adams:

recommend? So that element of asking for referrals, and then

Jonny Adams:

being at that business at the front of the PICU, I'm sure was

Jonny Adams:

something that you're alluding to that.

Matt Best:

And maybe Johnny, I'll just add, add another light

Matt Best:

bulb that's just gone on for me here. Thomas Ajani just around

Matt Best:

when I think about this is, this is almost an opportunity as well

Matt Best:

to get things earlier in the buying cycle, because you're a

Matt Best:

big part of those preliminary conversations are had in a sort

Matt Best:

of safer space. Those who are going to kind of internet

Matt Best:

search, maybe have done a little bit more thinking whereas

Matt Best:

someone who's sat there thinking, well, maybe I need

Matt Best:

this. Hey, I'll just ask you a couple of my mates in the

Matt Best:

market. I just asked a couple of my mates, you know, even a

Matt Best:

couple of my mates down the pub who I know work in a similar

Matt Best:

industry. What have you done to fix this? Do you have this

Matt Best:

problem? Oh, yeah, I do, you should go and speak to x, y, and

Matt Best:

Zed. And I guess that's a big part of it as well. Thomas right

Matt Best:

in terms of getting in, or, or opening doors earlier in the

Matt Best:

conversation as a result of being somebody who then becomes

Matt Best:

who's given that opportunity to take that real consultative

Matt Best:

approach towards helping a customer see where procuring a

Matt Best:

service, whatever that might be, is going to help them in driving

Matt Best:

their business forward.

Thomas Coles:

Yeah, you're absolutely right, Matt, I would

Thomas Coles:

characterize it as being there at the right time to help to

Thomas Coles:

shape their thinking. So if you think about the way you might

Thomas Coles:

personally consider buying a car, you probably use the

Thomas Coles:

internet to research what model you want to research colors,

Thomas Coles:

that sort of stuff. But then when it gets to the point where

Thomas Coles:

you're actively going to go and find a dealer who would suit you

Thomas Coles:

probably asked friends, you know, what good experiences have

Thomas Coles:

you had? What dealers would they recommend? Rather than asking

Thomas Coles:

for reviews on the Internet? I often ask delegates who I'm

Thomas Coles:

working with in order to help them develop their referrals

Thomas Coles:

technique. When was the last time they asked for a referral?

Thomas Coles:

When was the last time they gave a referral because these things

Thomas Coles:

should definitely be reciprocal. SBR talking about giving to get

Thomas Coles:

and the vast majority of people talk about fact that they

Thomas Coles:

routinely have asked for referrals and given referrals in

Thomas Coles:

their personal life, but they often have not been using it

Thomas Coles:

systematically in their professional lives.

Matt Best:

Yeah, tell us what's your perspective on why that is?

Thomas Coles:

It's a difficult question to answer. My

Thomas Coles:

experience is that far too many businesses are and far too many

Thomas Coles:

individuals in businesses are embarrassed of asking for

Thomas Coles:

referrals, which is why I talk about that mindset shift,

Thomas Coles:

needing to say, look, I run my business on referrals,

Thomas Coles:

therefore, it stops being embarrassing, and starts

Thomas Coles:

becoming just an absolutely routine thing. It needs to

Thomas Coles:

become a habit, people have to get into the habit of asking for

Thomas Coles:

referrals at every opportunity. Whereas quite often here are

Thomas Coles:

people who think they do need to be asking for referrals,

Thomas Coles:

realizing too late that five minutes after they left the

Thomas Coles:

meeting, rather than during the meeting.

Matt Best:

Why do you think that might be the case? Because I

Matt Best:

mean, again, going back to that sort of personal versus

Matt Best:

business? And yeah, I guess is that is the difference here that

Matt Best:

we're asking for a referral to procure services more often in

Matt Best:

our personal life than perhaps to sell services? Yeah, I

Matt Best:

wouldn't necessarily see a friend in the pub and say, you

Matt Best:

should buy these trainers. In fact, anyone who knows me will,

Matt Best:

will the test the fact that I do actually do that, which is

Matt Best:

probably a bad example.

Jonny Adams:

But I'd never buy your trainers by the way. So

Jonny Adams:

yeah. Not interested.

Matt Best:

Yeah. What's your take on that, and this gets us

Matt Best:

Thomas, I think into some more of the sort of practicalities of

Matt Best:

how to start to generate the sort of referrals and to develop

Matt Best:

those critical habits.

Thomas Coles:

I think your point around the difference between

Thomas Coles:

personal life and professional life is largely that you would

Thomas Coles:

only ever asked a friend when you're looking for a new

Thomas Coles:

supplier of something. And therefore you've got a trusted

Thomas Coles:

relationship with them trusting relationship with them. Whereas

Thomas Coles:

in professional life, not every individual working in an

Thomas Coles:

organization is going to say that they trust the people in

Thomas Coles:

their client or vice versa. That's the bit that you need to

Thomas Coles:

overcome the mindset that you'd need to overcome. As long as you

Thomas Coles:

have a professional and some level of trusting relationship,

Thomas Coles:

then you can be asking many people that you come across and

Thomas Coles:

should be asking many people that you come across whether

Thomas Coles:

they can make any effect recommendations for you, but

Thomas Coles:

therefore give you a referral.

Jonny Adams:

So you know, one of the things is the trust

Jonny Adams:

equation, and you talk about trust there. And when we think

Jonny Adams:

about the trust equation, we've got trustworthiness equals

Jonny Adams:

credibility plus reliability plus intimacy, divided by self

Jonny Adams:

orientation. And I wonder when we're thinking about trust that

Jonny Adams:

which will drive referrals. So I agree with you, you need to have

Jonny Adams:

a trusted relationship with someone to feel like one they

Jonny Adams:

can refer you to others, and to you're comfortable to refer

Jonny Adams:

them. What area of that trust equation do you think's

Jonny Adams:

important to really index on when using referrals? Or talking

Jonny Adams:

about trust?

Thomas Coles:

I characterize it slightly differently that Johnny

Thomas Coles:

and I completely appreciate the point you're making about the

Thomas Coles:

equation. When I use the word Trust. I mean, perhaps respect,

Thomas Coles:

is there sufficient respect in the relationship in a

Thomas Coles:

professional relationship between two people who don't

Thomas Coles:

work for the same company, that they are therefore willing to

Thomas Coles:

help each other out? That maybe that's a better word wishing and

Thomas Coles:

trust.

Jonny Adams:

That's important to reference. If we're looking at

Jonny Adams:

Trust, the reason why I anchor back towards the trust equation,

Jonny Adams:

just to talk about that is that I had a really good conversation

Jonny Adams:

with founder this week, and we're a partner of theirs.

Jonny Adams:

They're a partner of ours and we're looking to win a

Jonny Adams:

collective deal together. There needs to be trust there, but

Jonny Adams:

there needs to be trust to refer one another to each business.

Jonny Adams:

And I wonder if we look at the top three areas credibility,

Jonny Adams:

reliability and intimacy I think everyone that's being referred

Jonny Adams:

or you're willing to refer someone else, there must be some

Jonny Adams:

element of credibility in that relationship, you must have some

Jonny Adams:

type of possible brand equity or there must be some type of

Jonny Adams:

proven experience in the past that you could demonstrate

Jonny Adams:

possible outcome. Or at the simplest form, if you meet them

Jonny Adams:

at a networking event, as long as you're showing credibility

Jonny Adams:

around what you deliver. I think the other thing is reliability,

Jonny Adams:

having that consistency to always be on time, be punctual

Jonny Adams:

and be consistent in the relationship you've got with

Jonny Adams:

that person. And the final one is intimacy. I don't know about

Jonny Adams:

you guys, but building and forming that relationship that

Jonny Adams:

goes a little bit deeper than just surface level questions and

Jonny Adams:

thinking about those questions. So I think to answer one of the

Jonny Adams:

questions that we've sort of alluded to, which is, why do

Jonny Adams:

people not do referrals, which is what we're getting to, I

Jonny Adams:

wonder if the trust equation is something that we could as

Jonny Adams:

professionals anchor against, and those three areas that might

Jonny Adams:

be valuable?

Thomas Coles:

Good point. So I was thinking, as you were

Thomas Coles:

talking through that journey, that may be I was using respect

Thomas Coles:

as a synonym for credibility, in order to have credibility, there

Thomas Coles:

must be respect, and you can't get respect without seeing some

Thomas Coles:

credibility demonstrated.

Matt Best:

Perfect. Yeah. And I think maybe we gravitate more

Matt Best:

towards those trusted relationships. I guess that's

Matt Best:

that point that you're making there, Johnny, is that when you

Matt Best:

do have a trusted relationship, it gets easier and easier to ask

Matt Best:

for referrals. And maybe Thomas, there's that sort of the next

Matt Best:

layer out from that is, is and you're talking about the minimum

Matt Best:

requirement in order to ask for a referral. And having that

Matt Best:

credibility. Clearly, we'd love to know those trusted

Matt Best:

relationships are ones that are more comfortable, and where it's

Matt Best:

easier to ask for a referral. But if we step outside of that

Matt Best:

comfort zone, then looking at how we're demonstrating the

Matt Best:

credibility that we've got, and I know Thomas from conversations

Matt Best:

that that we've had before you, you share an example of how you

Matt Best:

would, how you would teach this to to clients and, and using the

Matt Best:

using the conference speech analogy, I wonder if it might be

Matt Best:

useful to share that with our listeners today, just to show, I

Matt Best:

guess the the other end of that extreme.

Thomas Coles:

Yeah, the conference is probably a

Thomas Coles:

situation, if you're a speaker on stage at a conference,

Thomas Coles:

probably a situation where many people listening would feel

Thomas Coles:

deeply uncomfortable. Anyway, I push them even further, I would

Thomas Coles:

say that the best thing you can do, when you are given the

Thomas Coles:

opportunity of speaking to an audience on stage, is to ask for

Thomas Coles:

a referral whilst you're up there, you probably have to

Thomas Coles:

gamify it in order to get several referrals, there's

Thomas Coles:

probably got to be some sort of reward for one or more of the

Thomas Coles:

people who come back to you. But where I've persuaded clients to

Thomas Coles:

do it, they've had amazing success. It requires real guts.

Matt Best:

So Thomas, how does that work?

Thomas Coles:

In practice, I would say if you're on stage,

Thomas Coles:

people are probably listening to you unless you've been really

Thomas Coles:

tedious up to that point in the speech. Therefore, you probably

Thomas Coles:

need to use humor, in order to just use humor to sort of defend

Thomas Coles:

yourself. Rather than saying, I run my business on referrals,

Thomas Coles:

when you're on stage more likely make a joke and fail. I thought

Thomas Coles:

I'd take the opportunity. Whilst you're all listening to me. Do

Thomas Coles:

it as simple as that tone of voice bit of humor, then go in

Thomas Coles:

with a question. I would like to be introduced to anyone you

Thomas Coles:

know, who does this.

Matt Best:

So Thomas, you know, clearly that there's there's

Matt Best:

probably a lot of people listening to this thinking, Oh,

Matt Best:

my gosh, well, not only do I maybe not get that many

Matt Best:

opportunities to stand up on the stage. But also, I feel like I

Matt Best:

have to take some smaller steps first. And clearly. That's what

Matt Best:

you're trying to encourage them how you're trying to encourage

Matt Best:

them to think by demonstrating quite how how any situation it's

Matt Best:

possible to ask for referral. But what are you what are you

Matt Best:

trying to steer them towards? Is there a particular point that

Matt Best:

sits between standing on stage in front of 500 people and

Matt Best:

asking your friend for a referral? Like what would you

Matt Best:

say is that sweet spot?

Thomas Coles:

I'm going to be slightly facetious. I suspect in

Thomas Coles:

replying to that question, Matt, every conversation you have is a

Thomas Coles:

potential opportunity to ask for a referral. Let me give you

Thomas Coles:

another example where people might feel uncomfortable. When

Thomas Coles:

you're off to a conference or event. There are loads of people

Thomas Coles:

at that event who you've never met before. Therefore, by

Thomas Coles:

definition, you do not have that trusting, respectful

Thomas Coles:

relationship with you don't have any credibility. But even in

Thomas Coles:

those circumstances, you can ask strangers for a referral. And

Thomas Coles:

you will get a remarkably high hit rate, just in the sense of

Thomas Coles:

receiving the right names, the right sorts of names from those

Thomas Coles:

strangers, because in many cases, those people who you've

Thomas Coles:

never met before are just grateful for having conversation

Thomas Coles:

with you. They're in a room full of strangers to and therefore

Thomas Coles:

human nature is that they will be grateful to you for

Thomas Coles:

initiating a conversation, and therefore they'll try to help

Thomas Coles:

you.

Jonny Adams:

I'm in that networking event. Now. You've

Jonny Adams:

just put your teleported me in there, and I can feel myself and

Jonny Adams:

what I hear is asked for a referral. I don't feel

Jonny Adams:

comfortable when saying, hey, you know, I'm talking about

Jonny Adams:

other people here. I still don't feel comfortable and going so

Jonny Adams:

can I you know, can I have a referral? Is there a technique

Jonny Adams:

that you recommend that you could use to soften that? Can I

Jonny Adams:

have a referral? Is there any sort of advice Thomas, you've

Jonny Adams:

got in that environment of a network. And thanks, I think

Jonny Adams:

most people would go to a networking event rather than

Jonny Adams:

possibly being on stage. So maybe that's the environment we

Jonny Adams:

could tackle.

Thomas Coles:

I would say you have to go to those sorts of

Thomas Coles:

networking events and seek out to the people who are feeling

Thomas Coles:

nervous and maybe not managed to enter into conversations, then

Thomas Coles:

actively approach them, the technique that you need is to

Thomas Coles:

find out about them. First, we in SBR, talk about being

Thomas Coles:

interested as opposed to interesting. So find out what

Thomas Coles:

they are, therefore, first find out about their business, their

Thomas Coles:

background, which gives you the opportunity to show interest in

Thomas Coles:

them, which is a good thing anyway, before you ask for a

Thomas Coles:

referral. But it also gives you the opportunity to customize the

Thomas Coles:

question you asked when you seek a referral to the sort of

Thomas Coles:

network that they're going to have having listened to who they

Thomas Coles:

are.

Jonny Adams:

And just to continue, where we have worked

Jonny Adams:

with a number of behavioral scientists. And I'm a firm

Jonny Adams:

believer that to manage my own mindset, I use science, you

Jonny Adams:

know, material information that's proven by research to put

Jonny Adams:

myself in the right mindset. And one thing I do know is that when

Jonny Adams:

we ask for advice, not help of human beings, people are more

Jonny Adams:

willing to provide advice and the knowledge we are inherently

Jonny Adams:

there to help as human beings, which I found really

Jonny Adams:

interesting. And equally, when we asked for advice. The person

Jonny Adams:

who is asking for the advice to the to the individual feels like

Jonny Adams:

we're actually taking something away from them. So that's why we

Jonny Adams:

don't ask for referrals a lot of time because we think that

Jonny Adams:

there's a economic reduction in that other individual. But

Jonny Adams:

actually, in fact, the person who's receiving the request for

Jonny Adams:

advice or a referral actually sees that there is a social

Jonny Adams:

obligation to respond, which is, again, really interesting. So

Jonny Adams:

what some of those other tips that you could share with the

Jonny Adams:

listeners that would sort of make people sort of stand up and

Jonny Adams:

go, right, I'm going to ask for some advice or some referrals.

Thomas Coles:

So I actually don't use the word advice, just

Thomas Coles:

because in English grammar, it's like people could, I talked

Thomas Coles:

about guidance, but you can absolutely tackle the same point

Thomas Coles:

you're making Johnny is simply about the semantics. And so that

Thomas Coles:

I would go through giving the person who I'm talking to

Thomas Coles:

whether I know them or not bit of a pat on the back, them some

Thomas Coles:

organizations talking about giving them a stroke, an ego

Thomas Coles:

boost. In other words, I'd really appreciate your guidance

Thomas Coles:

on who you think I should be working with next. And then you

Thomas Coles:

can go in which we're asking for the referral. I've seen the word

Thomas Coles:

guidance work better than advice in that particular context.

Matt Best:

I think something that that highlights me there,

Matt Best:

Thomas, as well as in a couple of things that you've shared,

Matt Best:

that I just want to sort of pull out is asking an understanding

Matt Best:

about somebody else's situation first is what's going to help us

Matt Best:

in building that credibility in the conversation is gonna, what

Matt Best:

it's gonna be what helps us in building rapport and the

Matt Best:

conversation, because I think a big part of it is, you know, I

Matt Best:

don't know when we would never sort of advocate for so just

Matt Best:

hurry up and shaking someone's hand saying, right, tell me who

Matt Best:

have you got in your network, you think you wrote refer me to,

Matt Best:

these are the things that I do? Let's see how we can help one

Matt Best:

another out, right? By reminding ourselves that actually, we

Matt Best:

still need to stay, we still need to be interested in them

Matt Best:

not interesting. And we still need to start with questions and

Matt Best:

start with building an understanding of, of their

Matt Best:

business and their challenges. Before we then respond with, you

Matt Best:

know, with with with asking for a referral, and then wrapping

Matt Best:

that up in Johnny, and your point around sort of advice and

Matt Best:

guidance is using that sort of humbly, but also recognizing

Matt Best:

that if we ask for that, we are likely to get that we are still

Matt Best:

likely to get that response. Thomas, just as we close up our

Matt Best:

conversation from today, we started with three key things

Matt Best:

that helps you is that helped you in being successful? If

Matt Best:

you've got someone listening to this podcast, who's relatively

Matt Best:

new to referrals, and hasn't seen it as a as a way of

Matt Best:

developing business? How would you sort of summarize the three

Matt Best:

key things for those sorts of individuals to be thinking about

Matt Best:

and to maybe start to put into practice to really develop this

Matt Best:

referral habit?

Thomas Coles:

Very simple to answer that question. The three

Thomas Coles:

things are, firstly, you have to be in the habit. So create an

Thomas Coles:

accountability mechanism for yourself to exhibit those

Thomas Coles:

behaviors and get you into the habit of asking for a referral

Thomas Coles:

as every opportunity. How to get into a habit varies reach

Thomas Coles:

individual, but make sure you get into the habit. The second

Thomas Coles:

thing is the technique that you need to use in order to ask for

Thomas Coles:

a referral is not to simply ask, but we need to be exploring, if

Thomas Coles:

you like the mental Little Black Book of the person we are

Thomas Coles:

asking, we need to help them to explore it. And the third thing

Thomas Coles:

I would say is actually a negative. I have never paid for

Thomas Coles:

a referral. A lot of people asked that question and should

Thomas Coles:

we be rewarding the person who gives us referrals. I've been

Thomas Coles:

the recipient of over a couple of bottles of nice red wine or

Thomas Coles:

champagne. And that's fantastic when I've given referrals to

Thomas Coles:

people, but there is no need to do that where you've got

Thomas Coles:

especially where you've got the trusting relationship or the

Thomas Coles:

respectful relationship. You do not need to pay or reward people

Thomas Coles:

for referral, they're just willing to do it out of the

Thomas Coles:

goodness of their hearts, which I think comes back to Johnny's

Thomas Coles:

point around the psychology of this, that the act of asking for

Thomas Coles:

referrals is primarily a psychological thing, which is

Thomas Coles:

why the habit is so important, because there are psychological

Thomas Coles:

barriers for most people.

Jonny Adams:

I think that's awesome. I even think the act of

Jonny Adams:

having this conversation now has prompted me to think about my

Jonny Adams:

meetings today. And also the preparation that's required to

Jonny Adams:

before those meetings to just put in the, you know, the

Jonny Adams:

personal prep meeting prep message to say, ask for

Jonny Adams:

referrals or ask for guidance in that as well. So, you know,

Jonny Adams:

you're even having this conversation with two wonderful

Jonny Adams:

consultants, like yourself, business winners, you know,

Jonny Adams:

business owners and people have done so well in your own

Jonny Adams:

careers, it's really sort of prompted that point of bringing

Jonny Adams:

it to the surface again, I might just have to get a tattoo to

Jonny Adams:

make sure that I see it every day. But this has been really

Jonny Adams:

helpful. Thank you, Thomas.

Matt Best:

Wonderful. And yeah, Johnny, I agree. There's this

Matt Best:

bring it into our conscious competence and thinking about

Matt Best:

this. And, Thomas, thank you so much for your fantastic advice

Matt Best:

and guidance to us into into the audience on today's podcast.

Matt Best:

Thank you so much for joining us today, Johnny. Thank you as well

Matt Best:

as ever, and thank you to all of our listeners of the growth

Matt Best:

workshop podcast. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

Thomas Coles:

Right. Thank you both.

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