In today’s episode, I’m joined by Anna Maydonova, affectionately known as the world’s best life optimization coach. We talk about her recovery from trauma and her path of healing through forgiveness as well as her journey to becoming a coach.

This episode comes with a trigger warning, we discuss physical, sexual, and mental abuse and if you normally listen to these episodes around others, I highly recommend that you wear earbuds. 

Listen in to hear Anna’s amazing story of recovery and to see how she has crafted an amazing powerful life free from shame and guilt. 

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Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,

Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hi, friends, and

welcome to she coaches coaches. Now for this episode, I've got a

couple of warnings for you. The first is a trigger warning,

we're going to be speaking about disturbing content for part of

this conversation. And it includes sexual and mental

abuse. And so I want you to know that it may be triggering for

you, and take care of yourself in any way you need to. The

second is if you normally listen to these episodes with your kids

while you're driving in the car, or on the speaker while you're

cooking, I'd highly recommend that you listen to this one with

your earphones. And the information we're going to be

talking about has got some disturbing compliments or

components of it. And I just wanted to give you that heads

up. Alright, so let's dive in. Let's get started. So this is a

guest up episode. And I am interviewing Anna Mae to Nova. I

met Anna as part of a mastermind, and we've been

meeting weekly since I think it's early December, maybe even

November. And I have been so pleased to get to know her a

little bit. I've been watching her every week when we talk. And

I just knew that there was something special, something a

little bit more about her, and that you guys would like her to.

And so that's why I invited her to be on this podcast episode.

Anna is a woman of deep courage and inner strength. And when I

met her for the first time, she has this sunny, friendly, open

way about her. But there's something else too, something

deeper. And while she is all of that that Sunny, sweet kind,

dismissed disposition, she's also far more the three words

that come to mind when I think of her our love, courage and

brilliance. And I mean all the kinds of brilliance that you can

think of. She's got a keen focused intelligence, and she is

a brilliant shining light. And we need more of that in this

world. Anna is the host of the world's best Trauma Recovery

podcast. Her show is a safe place where you can listen to

him on how people just like you have reclaimed their power kick

started their healing process and have taken back their lives.

And they're now inspiring a new generation of empowered

individuals to break the cycle of trauma in their lives, and is

a coach and she is affectionately known as the

world's best life optimization coach. She empowers others with

her ultimate courage and stories of healing and forgiveness,

systemic sexual abuse, to forced abortions by a stepfather. And

then 15 consecutive miscarriages were at once her only story. But

now it's different. Her story is that she has reclaimed her

power. She's freed herself from that tether of shame and pain.

And she'd made it her life purpose to help others do the

same and live the life of their dreams. So let's dive in.

Welcome Anna. I'm so glad you're here.

Candy. Thank you so much. I have to tell you're a

master at introducing people. So well, what an introduction. And

I'm so glad to be on your podcast. It's one of the most

wonderful podcasts I've ever listened to. So to your

listeners. If you haven't listened the first 78 podcasts.

This is the place where you must go. Oh, thank you.

That's so kind. Alright, so let's start with

your story because everything that you're doing right now to

contribute to the world started because of your story. So can

you share that with us, please?

Yeah, absolutely candy. Everything started when I

was four years old, when my biological father left us and

never returned. My younger brother was just nice. months

old. And so my mom became 24 years old, a mother for single

mother of four have to start from the King. So my, my younger

brother was nine months old. And so my mom became a 24 years old,

single mom of two, during the Russian economic depression. It

was very hard for us. Sometimes we had no money. And so I had to

be strong for my mom. And, you know, I felt like I can do

anything I want. But I was wrong. Six years later, she met

another man. And we were so excited. Finally, we're gonna

have a circle, we're gonna have a man in our family, a

protector. But just a couple of months later, I've realized that

he's not the man that will protect us. My six years old

brother did something wrong in my stepfather's opinion. And I

saw him grabbing his army leather belt, dragging my

younger brother to another bedroom, and locking the door

behind him. And I just could hear how my younger brother was

yelling, and screaming, and begging for help. Mommy, mommy

help. Like my mom couldn't do anything. She was so afraid of

him. And she just grabbed me so strong, and she covered my ears

with your hands. Until my stepfather was done. It took my

brother a few days to recover. And then I realized that's not

what we were expecting. And my stepfather was an Army guy. He

was very strict, very disciplinarian guy. So since

then, we were beaten for everything, for the bad marks in

the school, for not cleaning the house perfectly enough for not

taking our dog out in time. And this abuse was getting worse and

worse. And then when I was turning when I just turned 15.

That's when sexual stuff happened. Follow two forced

abortions one at 15 Another 16. It resulted in now 15

consecutive miscarriages, including two atopic

pregnancies. One nearly climbed my life in 2019. It was, that

was my only story. I didn't know what was happening. When I moved

to Australia, I started to build my life. I found a man of my

dreams. We wanted to have a baby, but I was losing my

pregnancies. And 10 Different doctors in Australia couldn't

find any physical reason, like nothing at all. And only I knew

what was happening, and why it was happening. And that was a

big deal for me to start my healing journey. So I wanted to

see whether my trauma is preventing me to make my most

cherished dream come true. And you know what, during my healing

process, I was able to forgive my, my stepfather, who did it to

me. I was able to forgive my biological father, who wasn't

there. When I needed him the most. I forgive my mom for not

being able to save me. And I forgive myself. And the magic

happens. It's a was such an amazing feeling. I felt free of

shame. For the very first time. I got so much energy, and I got

so much space that just filled up with a light and that's my

message. I want. This is my my most biggest dream to help

people to feel the same way.

Thank you. And I know that you know you've shared

your story before but every time you do, it's still intensely

personal and powerful and The listeners who are listening to

you, they can feel they can feel the journey that you went on.

And I think, you know, we we all know people who have had

terrible traumatic things happen in their life. We all know that.

And many of us have experienced things as well. The difference

is this piece of forgiveness. And no, so somebody might be

listening to this and they might be going, how did she do that?

How does she start that healing journey? How does she forgive

for these past abuses? So talk to me a little bit about that.

You forgive?

You know, I've realized that if I won't

forgive, I wouldn't be free of tyranny of pain. So the

forgiveness, it was the way to free myself. I'm not saying you

know, you don't have to keep your perpetrator accountable.

Forgiveness is to understanding what what this trauma was

teaching you about. It was understanding what was happening

in my perpetrators, child childhood life. It's

understanding of my mom, why she was so codependent on my

stepfather, why she was scared of him. And it was understanding

of my biological father, why he left us in the first place. And

then it was understanding why some of my reactions wore, not

the way that I wanted. And I'll give you an example. When the

first abuse happened, my stepfather told me if I tell to

anyone, he will destroy my mom's my brother, and my life. He was

threatening me with their lives. And she instilled so much fear

in me that if I tell my mom, she will believe him, not me, and

that she will hate me for trying to destroy their marriage life.

And so I was really, really scared to tell her it was the it

was moreso than this. And I, I was holding this yield for not

telling my mom for not responding on the way that I

wanted to respond. Because when it's happened for the first

time, I got frozen. And I was blaming myself why I didn't

start yelling, screaming or, you know, fighting back. But then I

understand. Hold on. I was conditioned. I was conditioned

to be a good girl, because I saw how violent my stepfather can

be. And I was so scared for my life, for the life of my

brother, and my mom, that I was martyring myself. I was

sacrificing myself, for my family. So helping me to

understand why some of the reactions are coming or why my

perpetrator was doing this. I'm not saying it's okay. But it's

just fun for myself. It helped me to free myself from tyranny

of this pain. It I stopped being a victim. I took my life back

in.

I just want to ask this. And so, sir, just uh, back

to that feeling of frozen. You know, that is like a standard

trauma response that happens. Everybody has, you know, an knee

jerk response that happens in the face of extreme danger. And

it is your body's way of trying to protect you. Yes. So I hear

that and I think well, of course, I mean, what, what else

would have happened? Do you remember the moment that you

decided to start your healing journey?

Yes, I do remember. Yes. That's actually

funny. Um, it wasn't just the one day it was I was a few

voices that I had in my head. Firstly, moving to Australia, I

so a different reaction from people to the sexual childhood

sexual abuse survivors. It wasn't much judgment. And it

helped me. It helped me to feel more comfortable to open up.

Secondly, my partner being so honest and open with me and

vulnerable about his past, that it helped me to feel more safe

and secure to talk about my trauma. It took me 20 years to

tell about my trauma. No one knew about I have one friend who

I told back when I was 15. So for me, it was a huge shame. And

then my miscarriages, miscarriage after miscarriage

after miscarriage. There is no physical evidence why it's

happening. And I was wondering, I wonder whether my trauma my

body remembers those two abortions. And it takes it like

a warning, like I'm danger. And it's just pass it on. So it made

me think, okay, maybe there is something deeper in me, I have

to heal in terms of to become a mother.

So I've got all kinds of questions in my head.

And, you know, so one of one of the reasons that I wanted you to

come on this podcast was because you're up to big things. And I

know that, you know, as your podcast grows, and as you grow

as a coach, it will help many people. And, you know, so this

is like a yes. And moment, there is. There is more room for

others to hear your message. And so my thought was, and it still

is that maybe there's somebody who listens to this episode.

Maybe they just hear it just kind of by random. And that just

in sharing the message. You may never meet that individual, they

may never actually connect with you. But just in sharing that

message, maybe you're one of those Spark's for them to start

making changes. Maybe they have experienced horrific abuse,

maybe not. Maybe it's something that's just been troubling them.

And they've been holding on to shame and guilt over any number

of things. And maybe this is the spark that helps them to release

it. And so this place of forgiveness for me is this place

of there is such a power here. You know, so you beginning your

healing journey. speaking openly about what happened to you,

speaking openly about your healing journey, and then

creating this Podcast, the podcast, I have to go look at

the name again, because it's such a cool name just a second.

So sorry, the world's

best Trauma Recovery podcast.

Yeah. So talk to me about this concept, world's

best Trauma Recovery podcast. Why world's best? What's the

mindset there?

Kenzie, I'm so glad you asked me this question.

World's Best. And I'm the world's best life optimization

coach. It's not an ego thing. As many of people can think not.

This is my commitment to myself. This is about me waking up every

morning and asking myself how would the world's best life

optimization coach conduct yourself?

One question. Yeah, one question. And I've

been teaching this a lot with my clients as well. This the value

of keeping things really simple. You know, our ego brings in

complexity. And if you can create your practice and create

your skill and hold yourself to that standard and commit to

yourself with just this one phrase the world's best, in your

case, the world's best life optimization coach, for your

podcast. World's Best, right? And using that as your guide.

And what I love about it is that it's not set in stone, right?

Like, it's not about you actually being the gold medal

winner at the Olympics. It's about being the world's best in

your life, and for the life of the people around you. And

always aspiring to grow, always aspiring to take that next step,

because who you are now is magnificent. And who you are a

week from now will be even more any year from now. And two years

from now and 10 years from now. And what a way to create a

legacy. I just love that. I love that concept. Yeah, that's cool.

Who else put on candy? There are the candy

people world's best at anything. Just ask yourself, your AMI

world's best. What sort of problem am I solving? What am I

helping people with? So it's not about being number one in the

world. It's about the commitment, hey, I want to grow.

I want to help people.

And I think that this is the place that is really

helpful for the listeners as well, you know, and so I would I

would call out to the people that are listening to this

episode, whether it's current or whether you know, it's been live

for a while. What are you the world's best at? What? How do

you want to challenge yourself? How, what kind of a? Mark, do

you want to leave on this world? What kind of a legacy could you

have? So that's the question, right? How could they be the

world's best every day? And what would they choose to be the

world's best at? And so can you think of a way to sort of fine

tune that question that would make it even more powerful for

them?

Yeah, absolutely. If you if you really

want to find yourself, what am I world's best at? If you want to

find your chosen niche, ask yourself. First question. What

am I so good at that other people find challenging? The

second question was what many people ask me an advice about?

And third question is what sets my soul on fire? That's some

really, really great start to find out, what is my why, what

is my passion, and then get a courage. Get a ball to find to

call yourself the world's best. And then make a commitment is

make this commitment to yourself. And then wake up every

morning and ask yourself a question. How would the world's

best in your chosen niche coach niche, as you say, in America

code would conduct himself or herself?

Yeah, I love it. Such a power in claiming,

claiming it for yourself. And you're the only one that can do

that. Right? So listeners, I would encourage you figure this

out. Ask yourself those questions that Anna said, and

then claim it. That's the place of courage, claiming it for

yourself that that is what you're going to be. This has

been so great. I'm really pleased that you've been here

and being part of the podcast. Now. For the people that have

listened and they want to hear your podcast, they want to learn

more about you. They really resonate with your message. How

can they find out more about you?

I am on Facebook, it's Anna Mae, the

novel. I'm on Instagram, as well. NMI, the novel and on

LinkedIn. You can find me on social media beginning. So you

can find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. It's nma

the novel. I'm posting lots of wonderful and motivational and

transformational stories of myself. And you can find more

information about my upcoming master classes or coaching

sessions. So if you have any questions, just go go there. And

my website is coming soon. It will be in May the nava.com

Awesome. That's just great. And I'm going to put

those links in the Episode Notes so people can just click

through. And check out more about you follow you on

Instagram, following you on Facebook and get connected. And

I'd encourage anybody who is moved by this message to DM

Anna, reach out to her, talk to her connect with her. She has a

wealth of information. And I know that you would love being

more connected with her. So that's it for today, you guys, I

have been so honored to have Anna here as my guest. I hope

that you listened to this interview, and you found within

yourself a place where you can have more courage, where you can

claim that world's best mindset for yourself. And then also, if

this is reminded you of some unfinished business, some

unfinished pain in your life, that maybe you're holding on to

some shame and guilt about, this is the time for you to be

courageous and to get help. Reach out. Therapy is always

going to be the first step for you. And I would deeply

encourage you to how would I say it? Commit to yourself that your

life is worth healing and having an amazing life. So thanks so

much, everyone, and we'll talk to you again next week. Thanks

again for listening today. Please hop on over to Apple

podcasts and leave a review. Also, I would love to hear from

you did something that I say resonate? What else would you

like to learn about? Click the link in the player and leave a

comment on the post. This is going to give me great ideas for

future episodes so I can help you best. Join me again next

week. From our coaching, support and teaching to help you become

the confident coach. You are meant to be