Tanu Bedi-Seraphim, Conscious Relationship Coach, joins us today to talk about all things compassion. Tanu is a living, breathing example of a soul doing this work on a regular basis. She takes us through Tara Brach’s R.A.I.N. process for applying self compassion. Tanu’s approach to applying compassion to ourselves first in order to understand our patterns is accessible to all of us. She teaches us how it is an invisible tool available to use at a moment’s notice. We also talk about how we are here to heal generational pain and trauma, that it might be what was handed down to us but it’s our responsibility to heal ourselves. I hope you love this needed episode on compassion as much as I did! Enjoy listening!

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS (What you'll learn)

• How compassion can be used as a tool for healing
• Tanu shares Tara Brach’s RAIN process
• How Tanu transformed her background of traditional parenting into conscious parenting approach
• How the application of compassion turned voices of guilt and shame into loving kindness
• How to prioritize yourself and put a date on the calendar for you & yourself or you and a friend
• What reparenting the parts of ourselves that are no longer authentic looks like
• Tanu explains generational healing and our responsibility in this healing

Mentioned Resources

Dr. Gabor Mate https://compassionateinquiry.com/

Dr. Shefali Tsabary https://courses.drshefali.com/

Suzi Lula https://suzilula.com/

Kristen Neff https://self-compassion.org/

Tara Brach R.A.I.N. https://www.tarabrach.com/

Elizabeth Gilbert https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/

Julia Cameron/Morning Pages https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

About the Guest:

Tanu Bedi-Seraphim is a certified Conscious Relationship Coach from Dr. Shefali’s Conscious Parenting Institute. She has also studied Dr. Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry and Suzi Lula’s Soul Care Coaching. She is passionate about empowering her clients in breaking generational patterns and creating meaningful lives that are full of joy, authenticity, and deep connections with their children, partner, and most importantly with themselves. Using mindfulness and compassion as a compass, she teaches effective scientific tools, and helps integrate childhood wounds to support her clients in creating a fulfilling life.

Website: https://stillwaterreflections.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/stillwaterreflections/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/stillwaterreflectionsmindfulconnections

About the Host:

Maureen Spielman is the Founder of Mystical Sisterhood, a podcast dedicated to bringing more joy, healing and expansion to the world. She is a seasoned life coach who supports individuals through one-on-one coaching, groups and workshops. Connect with Maureen:

Check out her Instagram

Learn more about her work at www.maureenspielman.com

Want to join our Mystical Sisterhood Membership community? Find out more

here: https://www.maureenspielman.com/mysticalsisterhood

Email Maureen at hello@maureenspielman.com to inquire about coaching,

podcasting & speaking engagements

● Want to view Mystical Sisterhood episodes? Visit the Mystical Sisterhood

YouTube Channel here: Mystical Sisterhood Youtube

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Welcome back to mystical sisterhood. Today I

interviewed Tanu Bedi- Seraphim. She's a conscious relationship

coach, we're talking all things compassion. So, you may be a

practitioner of applying compassion to yourself when

going through a hard time or when life hits you with

curveballs. But I know that a lot of us don't know really what

it means to take compassion and apply it to ourselves during

these times. So today, we're going to break it down. Why

compassion is beneficial for you, and how to do some

practices to take into your own life. Tonto has studied with so

many different teachers and I respect her so greatly. And this

Saturday, she will be inviting you to a meditation practice

she's doing around Tara Brock's rain, we go into what rain is.

And I'm going to put a link to Tatuus Instagram in the show

notes. If you're interested in learning the technique after

listening to the podcast even if you don't get a chance to

listen, go to her Instagram and in her link tree, you will find

a link to take part in this beautiful ritual that she's

going to be holding on Saturday. Thanks so much.

Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is your host,

Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight the

intuitives, healers and other courageous women that I've met

along my journey and continue to meet. Through amazing

interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to uncover

ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom and

knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

building, please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

in the episode.

Welcome back, everybody. This is Maureen. And

I'm here with Tanu. And we're here to talk about compassion.

today. It is the topic that we're coming in with, I know

that we'll probably cover many things during this time

together. But for the audience, the reason I wanted to have

Tawny on for this conversation is that she and I met during Dr.

Shefali, this conscious parenting program and connected

we're lucky enough to sit together or join together in a

circle of women,

where we kind of worked on the principles we were learning and

began to talk about our lives and how the topics being offered

affected us and how, you know, how could we understand

everything we were learning and sort of process it and begin to

apply it to our lives. And I'll have to say, for me, you know,

of the many topics I learned about compassion has been a

really big one. Because as we'll get into today, I think it's a

neglected sort of area. I think it's not one people have taken

deeper dives into, even though there are really big bodies of

work out there about compassion. And the reason I wanted Tani to

come on is because I know her to not only be

an avid seeker of, I think, teachers, wisdom teachers who

teach on compassion, but also just a person who's taken deep

dives into the material. And I thought Tanya, you'd be just the

perfect person today.

So I just want to welcome you, and thank you for being here

with us. Thank you, Maureen. It's such a privilege to be

here. And I'm excited to talk about this topic, because it's

so important to my heart. Yeah, yeah. Well, and I know,

I don't know if it was a self discovery around compassion and

your interest in the material

that came in the past few years or before that. But to begin

with, I know you're one of the persons who sat with me who

began in a much different career.

Yes. So I was actually working as a

science researcher in a neuroscience lab. And then I had

children and I took a break.

And that's sort of how my journey began, but it was

very different from

where we are right now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot of

compassionate talk going on in the labs around the world. I'm

sure.

It's different, right. It's, I think that compassion like you

said, initially, it's not the

Something that most of us engage in talking about. So it's not

something that is that is very prevalent in most of our work

cultures, I would say in our society. Yeah, yeah. And then

you took you took the time off, to raise your kids begin those

years with them. And I was thinking before we met, I mean,

raising children requires a lot of compassion. It calls upon so

many reserves from us, that, quite frankly, so many come a

bit ill equipped to provide for our kids. And I think that's one

way in conscious parenting that compassion begins to be

something we talk about in not only offering them but offering

ourselves first. But can you say a little bit about how you

became interested in this topic?

Yeah.

So I think,

when I became a parent, I, I myself was

raised in a family where it was very much a dictatorship, very

much traditional parenting style. So when I had children, I

just knew in my heart that I wanted to do it differently. But

I didn't have any models for it. And what ended up happening is

that because of my background in science, I sort of threw myself

into the child rearing psychology, child development,

and things like that naturally. And I've memorized a lot of the

scripts that many of the wonderful psychologists provide

us with. But when I had my second child, I wasn't able to

keep up with the scripts, because I was having postpartum

anxiety and depression and, and it was a, it was a difficult

time for me. And that's when I started to turn to mindfulness

and meditation. And that was probably my first introduction

with compassion, where I did this, where I did this self

compassion, meditation, and I put my hand on my cheek and the

tears would just not stop flowing. And so that that's the

first time I think I remember my, my direct contact with, you

know, the work with compassion. But it wasn't until much later

that I, I really became much more focused on it. So I also

self studied a lot of Dr. Kristin neffs work who is a

science researcher who focuses on Mindful self compassion. And

Tara brach is another one of my teachers. And then Dr. Shefali,

Dr. Gabor Ma, Tei, Suzie Lulu all sort of have this underlying

theme of compassion. And more and more, I realized that this

work cannot be cannot be done without compassion, and just

healing my own relationship with myself,really required me to

become compassionate, because what ended up happening as I was

telling you about my parenting journey, I realized that I was

just being really harsh with myself, I kept feeling like a

failure, I kept feeling inadequate.

And I realized that the key was to have radical acceptance and

radical compassion for myself, and only then I could begin to

transform any of my other relationships. That's sort of

how I came to just really focusing on compassionate and I

strongly believe now that you know, you can have all the

intellectual knowledge about this is what you should say to

your child, or this is what you need to do in order to integrate

some of your own traumas, perhaps. However, it's

incomplete until you begin to have self compassion. And only

when we are able to be self compassionate, we can offer

compassion to other people that is actually authentic. Yeah,

yeah. So it's deep and it's layered. And thank you for

sharing those pieces and parts of your journey and how they

unfolded for you. Sort of by even like how you were beginning

with you had that scientific kind of background and so used

harder to turn to things that were probably developmentally

scientifically supported. And that appealed to you. And that's

for a lot of people, because a lot that we kind of push it

away. And if it's not rooted in science, then the you know,

we're not a lot of people aren't going to go there. So I like you

pointing that out. Because

I think more and more we're finding that this work is

supported by it's just, we just sometimes assume it's not going

to be so you named Kristin Neff, as a teacher. I've heard you

talk a lot about Tara Brock's work. But you know,

and I've heard you talk, I think it was her in particular that

has the rain.

In that's, that's regarding compassion,

too. Can you talk a little bit about that? Because I think

that's a really neat framework. And I always like to just more

and more, give the listeners things that they can take away,

even if it's something that they go look into more of themselves.

But yeah, what about that? Oh, yeah, I love that. You're asking

me this question. And I absolutely love Tara Brock's

work, it has been so

important in my own journey. And so it's a tool

reign of compassion is a tool. And while

this practice is not something that Tara brach developed, it

pre existed, however, she has her own version, which really

focuses on the compassion piece of it.

And

I have learned to rely on it a lot, especially during difficult

times. So rain is an acronym. And it stands, the R stands for

recognize. And A stands for allow, I stands for investigate,

and N stands for nurture.

So this tool is basically a really beautiful, and very

practical way of re parenting yourself.

And that's, that's what I really love about it.

So, when you're practicing how I do it, just if the listeners

want to practice it, and Tara brach has a lot of resources, I

hope I do it justice.

But, so when you are practicing, what you need to do is just kind

of settle down and just, you know, sit with silence for a

couple of minutes. And then you could do this as a meditation,

or you could do it as a journaling practice, or you

could even do it

with a buddy, I often do it with a buddy on a weekly basis. And,

and then it just becomes over time, it just becomes your go

to, and you could be doing it on your phone, in a moment of

distress. So, so just settle down in kind of center and just

allow What's there to just, you know, just attune to yourself,

right. And then our recognize so in recognize you are sort of

separating yourself from the story.

This person said this, this is what happened. And it's often

very easy for us to get caught up in the story. So when we go

to recognize we're recognizing some of the main facts of what

happened. And then we're also focusing on what are the primary

emotions that are that this is bringing up for me, and just

either, you know, just getting present to them, or if you're

journaling, just writing that out. And then

just sitting with that for a few minutes. And once you have

recognized Okay, I am feeling anger, I'm maybe feeling

sadness. Oh, I just realized there's shame.

You know, so once you have that, then you move into the next

step, which is allow the a of rain allow, and allowing

basically, what it does is it helps us to move from,

from our storyline into just welcoming what is here. Right.

And

it also allows us to as Tara brach says that it allows us to

see that this is just a wave, and then we can be the ocean,

we're not that wave. So we're separating a little bit,

creating some space from that emotion and just allowing it to

be here and kind of reminding ourselves that this too is part

of our human experience, whether that's anger or sadness or shame

or what have you. And once you have allowed it and you have

reminded yourself that this to this to belongs and I can hold

this emotion as well.

It's okay for it to be here.

Then we move into the eye of rain, which is investigate.

And while the word investigate may sound intellectual, it, the

process itself is not. So it's very much shifting, using the

allowing part, and shifting from the storyline and thoughts into

the felt perception.

And this is where you ask yourself, Okay, what am I

believing? So what is the limiting belief under all of

this? What is the most painful thing unbelieving? What is what

feels most vulnerable right now?

And if I could just really get in touch with that, where do I

feel it in my body?

And what is it? What does it feel like? Does it have a

texture?

Does it have, you know, what sensation is it? Is it that my,

my belly is clenched, or my jaws clenched? Or is my heart feeling

heavy?

Right, so just kind of getting really present to all of that.

And then the next step

is nurturing the end of rain. And in nurturing, this is the RE

parenting part.

And so this is where you call upon either your own Higher

Self, or if you believe in some sort of God, or, you know, some

some loving

person in our life, for example, for many people, it could be

their grandparents, or it could be, you know, some wise teacher,

it could be Tara brach herself,

the whoever you relate to most, and see them as this wise,

loving,

you know, persona. So just calling upon that, then I think

Elizabeth Gilbert Gilbert, the writer talks about, she writes a

letter to love every morning. So it could just be love itself,

right? Whatever resonates with you, and kind of calling them

in. And now asking how this part of us that's feeling whether

that's sadness, or shame, or

whether it's anger,

or whatever our feelings are, how do they want this higher

self or this this loving, wise identity to be with it?

And then offering that

and then offering that part?

You know, the nurturing, it may just be as simple as saying, you

know, darling, I care about your suffering. This is a line from

Dr. Kristin Neff, actually. But it could be something like ICU,

I love you. Or, you know, when we ask, how would you like me?

How would you like this identity to be with with you, you may get

a response and really tuning in to what is the need, you know,

that that's that.

And we often when we'll find that we have this really, really

young part within us that's just seeking for some reassurance or

some reminder

that says, you are lovable, you are good inside. And I see you,

and I love you. So just offering that to those parts, those parts

of us that are hurting, and you conclude the rain with just

checking in with yourself like what is my

sense of being right now after having done this process? And

has that shifted from when I started to where I am now. And

maybe what is something that I want to take away?

That I want to remember that it may be one line mantra that came

to you some insight that may have come to you and just kind

of taking that away with us into our lives. So that's how Yeah,

I love Italia. What a beautiful explanation. I think that you

went through each step, just listening to it, the way you

describe it and with your voice and and just even I noticed that

the slowing down the really, because what it reminds me of to

is the way that I was taught or not taught to be with my

emotions would be as we always say, kind of suppressing them,

not tending to them. So then we go in our life and we're we just

we

don't even know that we have this whole operating state

underneath, like, seriously. And so that process was beautiful

because I think it mirrors I have studied Suzy Lula's the

language of self compassion, her course might just be compassion

or self compassion. But that has similarities, but it's really

calming down, slowing down, it feels like it's so good for our

nervous system, because like you were saying, when you're in

distress when you have something flare up in your life, if you

have the time and the space, and if you can make the time in this

space, I would say to have the question of Have you witnessed

yourself go from a point of distress to just a radically

different space within that process of rain? Yeah, yes, yes,

thank you, I want to really highlight something you said.

So I told you that I have been practicing this this process. I

have it like on my calendar once weekly. And

time and time again, when I have arrived for the meeting with my

buddy. There has been times where I'm like, Yeah, I have no

idea what I'm going to talk about today. And yet, there is

something that comes up. And, and at the end of it, I am so

grateful that I have this time of checking in with myself.

Because if I didn't, the alternative would be that I

would go around my life projecting all of that pain,

grief, shame onto my kids, especially onto all of my

relationships. So it's been a really powerful practice for me

to just make sure that I process what I would not have otherwise.

And so it's been it's been really helpful in that sense.

And oh, my gosh.

I can't say that it solves all my problems, right? It doesn't.

However, however, even in the midst of my distress, it has

time and time again, helped me move from hopelessness, move

from where I'm just feeling intense shame.

Or just, you know, a lot of sadness into

at least creating space. Yeah, at least creating that little

space where I can

allow

myself to kind of reach in and soothe myself and allow presence

to come through allow

me my wiser self to come through so that I'm not operating from

my shell self in my life as much. And like I said, and then

there's been times where it's allowed a major shift where I

came in with, like, so much distress, and then I'm leaving

with, like, lightness. And, you know, it's, it's just completely

it's a matter of perspective often, right? So it's like,

before, I'm seeing it from just like, from my child's self

level, and then I'm able to take that, like mountain Suzy Lulu

says, mountain top view. So it's been really powerful practice

for me. Oh, it sounds like it. It's just an it's the softening

and it's the inner, I always call it inner dialogue. Like,

you're right back to what you said in the beginning, my inner

dialogue, my whole life has been really harsh, really punitive.

Really. And it's just

something that I, again, on some level accepted that was going to

be, you know, ever present in my life. So we It's proof that, you

know, that we can when we turn inwards, soften in pay

attention, like I like the beginning to recognize the

allow, and without judgment, right. Without that allowance,

just without judgment. Just it's, it's not right or wrong.

That was a big Shefali thing. Just, you know, there's no, but

she always called duality. There's not a rightness or

wrongness. And if we can diffuse and take away any of those

projections that we put upon what we're experiencing as being

bad or wrong, then we allow.

Exactly, yeah, yes, so there is no

judgement in the allowing, while there may be judgment that we

recognize initially like Oh, I'm judging myself. And in the

allow, it's it's turning

Two words. Like, of course, I am allowing, of course, I'm feeling

this way. You know, I think it's Suzy Lulu that says it's so

understandable that I'm feeling this way. And and yes, and

absolutely. It's about that non duality of it, there is no right

or wrong. It just is. And Dr. Shefali talks about, you know,

accepting the isness?

Yes. So it's the same concept. And, yes, I found all of the

teachers to have that underlying theme of, you know, the

acceptance of the present moment. And

what would be the most compassionate thing to do in

this moment, asking ourselves that instead of operating from

what Dr. Shefali might call the ego or Susilo out that might

call the survival self? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I think it comes

to me, thank you for all of that. That just for it, that

it's a process that we begin, you said something earlier

about, things can be intellectualized in in our head,

and it does for our listeners, the work is worthy to begin, I

mean, you can tell from Tony's explanation, that it's just

really worthy work. And, and it's a process. And I think that

even as

you know, our circle, when we kind of talk about what's going

on in our lives, you've all even witnessed me, I used to be a

person that I don't consider myself an intellectual,

intellectual, but everything would be up here. And then if

someone else would even try to apply compassion for me, to give

it to me, I just wanted to just push it away. But that's

probably a mirror into if you if you know if I push away

compassion, probably not that great at giving it to myself

yet. Would you agree with that? Yeah, absolutely. 100% I think

that

we often operate from this space of what Tara brach calls the

trance of unworthiness. So, we have this limiting belief,

which was an adaptation, a coping mechanism as a child

where we had to adopt this belief that we are not worthy of

compassion. And so when we are even given compassion on a

platter, we feel so uncomfortable, and it's so

unfamiliar. That it we don't, we're not we're unable to

receive it. And so, you know, we can want intellectually people

to be compassionate to us. But it isn't until we turn inwards

and repairing ourselves and give ourselves that compassion and

address that limiting belief. Oh, what am I believing? Oh, I'm

believing I'm not worthy. Okay, is that really true? And, and

that's how we can shift. And that's when we are able to begin

to receive compassion. And I think that the more we do that

anything lesser would probably become unacceptable. Yeah. Yeah.

Such a great explanation.

Yeah, and I really love that you have a date with a buddy, when

you were telling me that, because how perfect. I mean,

you're creating a space within your weekly calendar that even

if a person had, you know, once a week, I mean, we want these

dates to be more often for our working with ourselves. But kind

of when you were talking about that, I was thinking like, oh,

wow, fast. I don't usually think about taking myself on a date.

But it's kind of a nice way to think of it, because we're

recording ourselves and we're recording that the worthy part

of ourselves that deserves to be to have this space and what it

what if there was this world where we did put these dates on

our calendar with a body with a friend who could process whether

it was rain, or just sacred listening, and listening, and

just listening with compassion? And it's just a beautiful

concept. Yeah, thank you. I really appreciate what you're

saying. It reminds me of Julia Cameron's book, the artists way.

And she talks about having dates with yourself. And I love this

idea of having a date with yourself where you there's a

surefire way of offering yourself compassion as well as

processing, you know, emotions that need to be processed. And

you know, during the week, as I go

On if something major is happening, and I'm or even

something actually smaller is happening because I tend to deal

with the major things. But if it's small, I may just kind of

say, okay, it was not a big deal. Let's move on.

And but I can bank on that time that I will come back and handle

that and process it and integrate it instead of just

letting it kind of get stuck in my body.

Yeah, I can, I can see even I know you do a lot of the work of

connection with body. And

and I don't know, I know that's been seated in your work. Like,

as you've studied different modalities. It sounds like the

ones you just described. Absolutely.

And you also have studied Gabor Ma Tei is compassionate inquiry.

Is that right? Yeah. And how has that affected your work as a

coach, and not just with yourself? Because, you know, so

far you've, you've talked about how you work with yourself, but

you know, you are a conscious relationship coach, too. So just

all these modalities and, you know, you use them both, you

know, like you said, with yourself, but with your clients

as well. And, yeah, I don't know, if you want to talk a

little bit about gabaars work or just how it's affected your

work. Yeah, absolutely. i

It was an absolute privilege to learn from Gabor. And

it really shifted, it really shifted how I approach my work,

because

Gabor really helped me understand that.

Some of the, what, what Dr. Shefali, calls eagle or Susie,

Lulu calls the survival self, the these parts had no other

choice.

And, you know, it was a, it was a matter of choosing between a

child authenticity and their survival, which is basically

connection with their caregivers. And they had to

choose connection over their authenticity. And so just really

having deep compassion for my clients and helping them have

compassion for those parts of them. Where, you know, they

adopted these adaptations that Gabor calls a stupid friend who

still thinks that you're three,

and still gives you the same advice, which would have been

really helpful, which saved your life at three, but now, it gets

you into trouble. So it's maladaptive.

So yeah, it really has helped me

have compassion for parts of my clients and their adaptations,

as well as helping them see that, you know, it's not their

fault, that those are the coping skills that they had to adopt as

children. Yeah. And do you see, too, that, you know, what I hear

you saying is that, when we are presented with certain scenarios

in our childhoods, that we are watching from a child's eyes,

that we begin to behave in ways that we have to kind of adapt to

our environment because possibly our true selves, the way we just

came into the world wouldn't be tolerated, whether it were if if

I were a lively child, and every time they were like, your Be

quiet, you know, I, I grew up with, I think, in the generation

of seen and not heard. So so many of us did, and that's

transforming now, which is such a beautiful thing. But

I learned to be quiet. And then what happened to me is I

remember and I can see certain pictures of me and my childhood

of Maureen like good little Maureen. And they'd say, she's

so quiet, she's so quiet. And I would I would be sitting there

and I could see the pictures, and sort of wide eyed but taking

in everything that my elders were saying and then

transforming that in my mind to I'm likeable. I will be honored

if I'm quiet, quiet, but is what happens to a person over their

lifetime that we get to our adult selves into our 30s into

our 40s into our 50s and we just are feeling this kind of almost

like friction of what our true self is if we've carried on that

persona, that mask that survival, that stupid friend for

that many years, it's gonna come for a lot of us to a head almost

like it's going to be where whether it's a breakdown,

whether it comes out, you know, it may be in an illness

Whether it comes out just in our relationships, is that what you

see? Is that the right idea? Like for like, just to give an

example for our listeners? Yeah, absolutely. I think that the

universe just keeps on presenting us with opportunities

to wake up.

And so yes, I think that life keeps presenting us with

opportunities and reminders that we need to wake up, however,

because we are in that trance of unworthiness, because we're sort

of hiding our true selves in order to protect it. Behind

those adaptations behind that survival self, it's challenging,

right? And

thank you for sharing. So vulnerably. I just want to

acknowledge you that what a testament to this podcast is for

you to be exercising your voice. You see that message as a child?

Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you. It's so it's so true. And it's

the it's been a journey of transformation. And that's,

that's a really important point you make because I think we can

look to another and see what they're doing think, oh, oh,

that's easy for her. But in fact, we all have our stories.

And we all have where we came from. And that's I mean, if

someone's sitting with me, whether it's a client or a

sister or a friend, I know, just by doing this work that we all

have extensive backgrounds and places and hurts and woundings,

and, and painful places that we came from. And so and we're in,

even if we've gotten to a certain point where we can use

our voice, more and more, or it's all a work in progress till

the day we die is the way I see it. Absolutely. Yeah, I think

it's Michael Brown, who says in the presence process that

I'm not exactly quoting him, but the gist of it was that because

we're human, we can't escape, that we are going to have some

childhood wounds, no matter how conscious our parents are. And I

see that day in my life with my kids. So and yes, it's it's it

wasn't our fault, like Gabor says, right and as soon as he

says,

But it is our responsibility. So life is going to present us with

opportunities. And often I feel like they look. They're not

comfortable, they look more like challenges right there. They're

not necessarily the comfortable places. So it is up to us to

rise up to the call of life and

use it for our conscious growth and use it for our awakening.

Yeah, I think it's been such a good conversation around

compassion, and just the different things you've noticed

today re parenting,

coming to our survival mechanisms, our ego, whatever is

operating within us, that's not working anymore. I think that is

because I feel like sometimes even if I use the word

consciousness, that word can seem sort of lofty, and it can

seem like what does that mean? And but it's everything we're

talking about today. It's it's all the work that's encompassed.

We're human, that it's our work on this planet Earth. And I

think when we're willing to, to begin to listen to these

conversations to open ourselves up to Oh, wow, I do have these

emotional worlds operating within me, I'm going to get

curious, I'm going to be willing, I'm gonna sit with

somebody who can guide me through it. And I think that's

such a I just just sitting here listening. It's such a beautiful

thing that coaches like you can offer is spaces with to sit with

someone and be with someone who allows whatever is coming up for

you. But to have these really fabulous tools to tap into

ourselves in sometimes it is using that, that outside tool

before we just start to cultivate it and it becomes so

natural to us. And as we know, we've been practicing for a

while and it's not always the first thing you turn to. And

right. Yeah, absolutely. We're unlearning not only decades but

generational stuff here. So it's understandable that it takes a

lot of practice and intention. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm so happy

you said that because I know one of the cornerstones of your work

has

Then the unlearning and the dismantling is or deconstructing

of what comes down through the generations? Can you talk to

that a little bit because I just love, I love that area of the

changes, transformations we're committing to in this lifetime.

Our, our, our deconstructing what's come before us and

leading to healing. But I know you can say it better than that.

So what why do you love generational healing so much?

And what is it?

Great question.

Why do I love generational healing so much? Well, I think

that, like I already said, it's not our fault, but it's our

responsibility. So I as a child went through a lot of pain, and

I'm sure I'm not alone. But I feel this really strong inner

sense of responsibility to not pass that on to my kids. Because

I know that pain firsthand. And I, while I had to,

you know, give up a lot of my authenticity, I am really

grateful that there is still a piece of me that believes that

that wasn't right, what was happening. And so and I think, I

think that to some extent, all of us have that, because there

is this, this spark of consciousness, awareness or

wisdom that resides in all of us, because that's our essence.

Right? So.

So I absolutely feel that responsibility of not passing on

the trauma. And I think that

many people don't realize that it's generational. And also, in

my own journey, as I was very self critical in the beginning,

as a parent, I thought it was just all me I was I was just

failing every day. And, you know, and then just realizing

that, oh, it's actually generational, It's way bigger

than just even just a few decades of life that I have

lived. It's way bigger than that. Just even getting real

with that helped me again, have compassion for myself, you know,

and it.

And it's also really encouraging that,

you know, there will be some generational patterns that I

have broken that my kids would never even know, we're in the

chain of what was passed down. And while I can break them all,

I want to break what I can. Yes. Oh, such a Yes. Beautiful,

beautiful.

kind of dive into just a little bit of generational healing,

just perfect explanation. Yeah, there's,

I just have to reflect back to you, that the sort of how you

are alkalizing, your work, both for yourself and for the work

that you're doing around consciousness and conscious

relationship. Coaching is such a, it's just got so many juicy

parts to it with the compassion with a generational healing, and

just all these sub components of those, I think each of us brings

in what is exactly there for us to heal. But that that allows us

to, to bring it to the greater world around us. And that's why

I love these conversations so much.

Absolutely. Yeah. Blows me away. Yeah. Well, Tanya, as we're

finishing up today, I always like to ask, you know, where can

the listeners find you? If they want to look into your work

more? And

just as an addition to that, too? Do you sometimes do

coaching around some of the mindfulness, some of the

compassion work that we've been talking about today? Yeah, thank

you for asking that.

I think you can find me on Instagram at Stillwater

reflections. That's definitely a great place to connect with me.

I do have a website that I am still in the middle of updating,

it's still water reflections.com But like I said, it's not

updated at the moment.

I do offer workshops from time to time. I also offer mother's

support groups and I offer a book clubs that are related to

you know, people who are seekers and healers. And, of course I

offer one on one coaching. Oh, wonderful. Okay, good. Well, I

always put all the resources in the show notes so people can

find you. But I just want to thank you so much for being here

and contributing to our

Conversations on mystical sisterhood. Thank you Maureen.

It has been such an honor to be here. I really enjoyed it. Thank

you. Okay, we'll see you next time listeners. I hope that you

really enjoyed the conversation today. If you did and you know a

friend who might benefit from it, please share, and we'll see

you next time.

Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcast and

subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership, visit

Maureenspielman.com or mysticalsisterhood.com Thanks so