Hey there,

Am I a relationship expert ?

haha certainly not! :D

but I still got something to share on this matter.

When dating, all too often we get caught up in the physical, hobbies, mutual friends, music preferences, food allergies and trying to please our family..

What about stress.. do we ever show our real face when in stress? In the beginning of a relationship we can choose to not see the partner on a shit day... what about later on ?

Isn't stress a part of life? it's not a constant but It is safe to say that every relationship will go through stressful times at some point. I find it very interesting to see how some people react during stressful times.

It's not about judging the other but seeing if the stress resilience can be matched or the willingness to resolve quickly and as a team.

Let's have a look at this!

with love

Aurora

Support this super cool and informative, advertise free show 

 ‘Buy me a coffee’ and send some appreciation my way

Click link below:  

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/auroraborealis

Thank you !!!!

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. 

My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Join the Yurt Experience -Yoga Classes and Coaching here 

https://app.ubindi.com/Aurora.Eggert

https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/the-yurt-experience-pincher-creek-ab-canada/?frame-nonce=ee3276b5d1&amp=1 

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth. 

Find the episode that suits your mood best here: 

https://the-borealis-experience.captivate.fm 

Give some love to the show and make it easier for people to find my podcast in leaving a review here

https://ratethispodcast.com/aurora

Do you need a one on one chat or regular meetings with me to stay accountable on your journey ?

Book a free 20 mins meeting with me 

Just message me on:

https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/contact/

And join 

https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggertcoaching/  

Have a podcast episode topic request ?

If I am missing a topic. Please sent me a topic request 

#wellbeing

#empowerment

#lifecoach

#newepisode 

#mentalhealth

#beyoufearlessly 

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy

Unknown: 00:00:09

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

Unknown: 00:00:13

your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

Unknown: 00:00:17

with you today.

Unknown: 00:00:19

I really hope from the bottom of my heart that you're doing well,

Unknown: 00:00:24

there's so much anxiety, and depression and aggression out

Unknown: 00:00:33

there going on right now.

Unknown: 00:00:35

It's

Unknown: 00:00:37

really, really tough times for all of us. And help you can take

Unknown: 00:00:42

time aside and really take good care of yourself.

Unknown: 00:00:48

Maybe every day, maybe a couple days a week,

Unknown: 00:00:54

to come back to your peaceful state, maybe even joy as core.

Unknown: 00:01:03

And remember how light and easy life can feel

Unknown: 00:01:07

in those tough times.

Unknown: 00:01:16

If you're driving right now,

Unknown: 00:01:19

maybe you should listen to that episode, because it's gonna be a

Unknown: 00:01:22

very relaxing one.

Unknown: 00:01:25

If you are walking, that's fine. But don't be operating machinery

Unknown: 00:01:31

or driving a car.

Unknown: 00:01:34

Today I want to talk about

Unknown: 00:01:38

every relationship advice that I've was never given and that I

Unknown: 00:01:43

was so grateful to, yeah, receive or to learn to observe

Unknown: 00:01:51

when it comes to dating. And yeah, romantic relationships.

Unknown: 00:01:57

We all talk about attractiveness, about

Unknown: 00:02:03

the intellect. So intellectually, it has to be a

Unknown: 00:02:06

match spiritually, it'd be good. If you guys are a match.

Unknown: 00:02:13

Physically, I mentioned already. And then sense of humor is very

Unknown: 00:02:19

important too.

Unknown: 00:02:22

But how about stress, I feel we all go through stressful

Unknown: 00:02:28

situations at times. And it is very interesting to observe how

Unknown: 00:02:35

different people react to stress.

Unknown: 00:02:41

And once we find out how the person is reacting to stress, we

Unknown: 00:02:47

know a lot more about them already. And we know how we can

Unknown: 00:02:53

cope together, how we can function together in a stressful

Unknown: 00:02:59

situation.

Unknown: 00:03:01

So I didn't make it a huge build up. Now I come out with my

Unknown: 00:03:06

number one relationship advice that I've never received, right

Unknown: 00:03:11

out the door.

Unknown: 00:03:14

Because I feel it is so important to see how a person is

Unknown: 00:03:21

relating to you. When there is stress. There's people who

Unknown: 00:03:27

completely shut down and don't want anything to do with anybody

Unknown: 00:03:33

else. They want to focus on that problem. And by themselves

Unknown: 00:03:37

through until they have resolved it.

Unknown: 00:03:41

There's people who

Unknown: 00:03:43

explode. So the first example I would say they implode. Second

Unknown: 00:03:50

examples, they explode, they run around like a chicken with his

Unknown: 00:03:56

head chopped off and panic and don't know what to do and need

Unknown: 00:04:02

other people to rescue them. And yeah, in some situations, we

Unknown: 00:04:07

need help from the outside. But there's people out there who

Unknown: 00:04:10

always search for a solution and the outside and they never

Unknown: 00:04:15

figure out for themselves as if they could find a solution

Unknown: 00:04:19

themselves.

Unknown: 00:04:21

And then there's people who are awesome, add communicating how

Unknown: 00:04:26

they feel, and at communicating

Unknown: 00:04:30

what they need from you as their partner. And then you guys are

Unknown: 00:04:37

in the same boat and you can support each other and be a very

Unknown: 00:04:41

strong team. But to be that very strong team, you first have to

Unknown: 00:04:46

know how that person is functioning. How do they

Unknown: 00:04:52

function on a daily basis? Are they totally OCD do they have to

Unknown: 00:04:57

have everything controlled?

Unknown: 00:05:00

Everything has to go their way. Otherwise they're unhappy or

Unknown: 00:05:05

irritated with you or with themselves, or are they pretty

Unknown: 00:05:10

easy going, and they can allow a little bit of chaos, they have a

Unknown: 00:05:14

good sense of humor. And you can kind of sense that if stress

Unknown: 00:05:19

comes up, they are reliable partners, I find this so, so

Unknown: 00:05:25

important to talk about because most of the time when we start

Unknown: 00:05:29

dating, we only focus on the exterior, on the appearance on

Unknown: 00:05:36

likes and dislikes, hobbies, food preferences, maybe music.

Unknown: 00:05:43

And then sex, of course, is a very important topic too.

Unknown: 00:05:48

But, and that it's tricky. In the beginnings, we always show

Unknown: 00:05:53

our best sides, and maybe on a day where you feel shitty about

Unknown: 00:05:57

yourself, you would cancel and not meet up with your date, not

Unknown: 00:06:02

meet up with your potential partner, because you feel not

Unknown: 00:06:05

good about yourself. Well, here is the news, they have to know

Unknown: 00:06:11

how you behave in your not so good situations, when you don't

Unknown: 00:06:16

feel good. And vice versa, you have to know how they behave

Unknown: 00:06:22

when they feel shitty about themselves or a certain

Unknown: 00:06:25

situation.

Unknown: 00:06:27

So of course, it takes some time until you get to know a person

Unknown: 00:06:32

on that level. But this is the time I beg you to absolutely

Unknown: 00:06:38

take because there's a lot of us out there who enter

Unknown: 00:06:43

relationships, because we don't like to be alone because our

Unknown: 00:06:46

biological clock is ticking.

Unknown: 00:06:50

Because of all sorts of

Unknown: 00:06:54

reasons. And then

Unknown: 00:06:58

we put these reasons, we make those reasons out very main

Unknown: 00:07:03

important priority, and enter the relationship. And the first

Unknown: 00:07:09

crisis comes around and you think Holy shit, who's that

Unknown: 00:07:14

person on dating, I didn't even know that person was capable of

Unknown: 00:07:17

getting so angry or so depressed. And, yeah, I'm trying

Unknown: 00:07:25

to make you guys and girls more aware of things that we have to

Unknown: 00:07:30

look at, when we look at dating, to then enter relationships with

Unknown: 00:07:37

more confidence, and to be more at ease with ourselves and make

Unknown: 00:07:42

better choices when it comes to our partners. So if you are in a

Unknown: 00:07:48

partnership now, and if you see, oh my god, whenever we have a

Unknown: 00:07:53

crisis, it's very crazy difficult for me to relate to my

Unknown: 00:07:58

partner, then I would say, talk about this and be open about

Unknown: 00:08:04

this. Because people can change and you have to believe that

Unknown: 00:08:08

people can adapt. And when you currently dating someone, and

Unknown: 00:08:13

you're totally lovey dovey, and excited, and sex is awesome, and

Unknown: 00:08:19

he probably likes your parents, or your parents like him or her.

Unknown: 00:08:25

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. But try to get to know that

Unknown: 00:08:29

person, on every level, that there is, before you fully

Unknown: 00:08:35

commit. Committing is a wonderful thing. I'm all for it.

Unknown: 00:08:40

But committing to the wrong person. Committing for the wrong

Unknown: 00:08:44

reasons, is a mistake that you will regret for a long, long

Unknown: 00:08:49

time.

Unknown: 00:08:51

And then

Unknown: 00:08:53

another art and this is also not to dissect the relationship

Unknown: 00:08:58

we're into to over analyze, but to live that relationship and to

Unknown: 00:09:02

go from the heart and to feel, hey, is that something I can

Unknown: 00:09:07

deal with? When my partner explodes when there is a

Unknown: 00:09:11

stressful situation? And vice versa for them? Can they handle

Unknown: 00:09:16

your worst you? Are they okay? The way you behave when you are

Unknown: 00:09:23

stressed out? Sometimes we also have to look at ourselves and

Unknown: 00:09:27

see that Yeah, when we were single, we were able to totally

Unknown: 00:09:32

lash out and be mad and sad for as long as we wanted. But now

Unknown: 00:09:38

you are in a relationship and you are responsible for your

Unknown: 00:09:41

well being. And you're responsible to bring goodness

Unknown: 00:09:45

into the relationship and to not poison your relationship. So you

Unknown: 00:09:50

have to deal with your stuff. You cannot use your partner to

Unknown: 00:09:55

have every solution at hand and you have to

Unknown: 00:10:00

Be independent in that way a little bit. I'm all for

Unknown: 00:10:04

interdependency. And depending on each other to some degree,

Unknown: 00:10:09

but when it comes to problematic situations, we have to show

Unknown: 00:10:13

ownership.

Unknown: 00:10:15

So, I think that's the main message I want to send out here

Unknown: 00:10:19

today. It's not about religion, it's not about attractiveness.

Unknown: 00:10:25

It's not about spirituality, or financial health. Those are

Unknown: 00:10:32

very, very interesting topics to talk about. But

Unknown: 00:10:37

bag baggage that the people bring into a relationship should

Unknown: 00:10:43

be analyzed a little bit, see what the person is bringing from

Unknown: 00:10:48

the past, into the present. And if that's something you can deal

Unknown: 00:10:53

with, and it goes so deep, that sexual preferences, for

Unknown: 00:10:58

instance, are deeply rooted in your past, maybe sometimes in

Unknown: 00:11:04

your childhood. So, experiment, explore, see if that person is a

Unknown: 00:11:10

good match for you. And be curious about your partner. Ask

Unknown: 00:11:15

them what makes them sad, ask them what makes them really mad.

Unknown: 00:11:19

And ask them questions about their childhood and hope that

Unknown: 00:11:24

they're open to it, to talk about it, to understand them,

Unknown: 00:11:29

because understanding a person is loving a person, because it

Unknown: 00:11:35

is Zen that we can show empathy. And it is then that they can

Unknown: 00:11:40

open up more and more. And we can see better and better if

Unknown: 00:11:44

that person is good for us. If we are good for that. Thank you

Unknown: 00:11:50

so much from the bottom of my heart to listen to this episode

Unknown: 00:11:57

today. You're listening to the Borealis experience. I'm your

Unknown: 00:12:01

host Aurora. And I really hope you're doing well. I really

Unknown: 00:12:08

asked you to send me requests and to tell me what you would

Unknown: 00:12:11

love me to talk about.

Unknown: 00:12:15

Because I want to serve you the best I can. I'm out here to lift

Unknown: 00:12:19

you up, to shift your attitude and to bring some goodness into

Unknown: 00:12:25

this world. take really good care of yourself. And I will be

Unknown: 00:12:30

out there for you tomorrow again. Bye bye.