What if the version of yourself you keep trying to get back to was never the one you were supposed to become?

Grace Grossmann has lived in England, Spain, Germany, and now Costa Rica. She’s been a journalist-in-training, a freelance writer, a yoga teacher for nine years, a well-being coach, and a kindergarten teacher.

She self-published Chill Out and Cheer Up: A Ten-Step Guide, a book she wrote while grieving her best friend. She then sat on it for four years because her inner critic wouldn’t let her release it. She finally did it from inside a mental health clinic.

She doesn’t call any of this a comeback story. She calls it a cycle.

Highlights

Reinvention isn’t a phase. It’s a practice.

Grace doesn’t describe her life as a single before-and-after. She describes it as ongoing.

“I’ve reinvented myself all the time. I feel like it’s a never-ending cycle, right? You’re always growing and becoming every day. There’s never a moment where you’re like, yeah, this is fully me.”

Most people wait for reinvention to be finished before they trust it. Grace’s story suggests the opposite. You don’t arrive at yourself. You keep stepping into higher versions of it, over and over, for the rest of your life.

The book almost never came out.

Grace wrote Chill Out and Cheer Up while grieving her best friend, who struggled with mental health his whole life. She finished it years before she published it.

“I didn’t self-publish it for four years until I was in the mental clinic and I was out of my mind, like of boredom and just like horrible thoughts, suicidal thoughts. I was like, well, there’s no better time than now.”

That’s the part the highlight reel skips. The book that “changed everything” for her readers almost died in a drawer, because her inner critic told her no one wanted to hear it. She published it anyway, from the lowest point of her life, and it became the thing readers said felt like talking to a friend.

The inner critic isn’t protecting you. It’s shrinking you.

Grace is direct about what imposter syndrome is actually doing.

“Your imposter syndrome and your inner critic is just trying to protect you from being the best you... it’s like, no, go back into your shell, shrink back down again.”

If you’re sitting on something you’ve written, built, or started because a voice in your head says you’re not the one who should be saying it, that voice was never protecting you from failure. It was protecting the smaller version of you it’s used to.

Living in different countries taught her who she actually is.

Grace left England for Spain at 18. Later, Germany. Now Costa Rica.

“When you live in different countries and different cultures, you get to know so many of yourselves, if you know what I mean. You can be who you want to be.”

Nobody needs to move across the world to reinvent themselves. But if you’ve ever felt like your environment was the thing keeping an old version of you alive, Grace’s experience shows you the way. Change the room, and you find out which parts of yourself were actually you, and which parts were just the room.

Being a “spaceholder” for everyone else eventually broke her.

Yoga teacher. Well-being coach. English teacher. Every role Grace has held has been about giving other people room to grow.

“I’ve always been a spaceholder... and hence also why I had a breakdown, because I think I’ve always been a spaceholder for the past decade, and I never knew how I could take up space myself.”

This is the part of the healer’s story that rarely gets told. You can’t hand out something you’ve stopped giving to yourself. Grace’s breakdown wasn’t a failure of her calling. It was the cost of doing it without taking care of herself too.

Rest is necessary if you want to be productive.

Grace’s Substack writing centers on rest, and she’s specific about why.

“In that rest, you can be your best and show up as your best... when we go slow, we actually soften smarter.”

Most people treat rest as something they’ve earned after the work is done. Grace treats it as the thing that makes the work possible in the first place. Not a reward. A requirement.

The small things were never small.

At 30 Grace became a kindergarten teacher, and found herself paying attention to what young children notice without trying.

“It’s funny, isn’t that beauty of life that we’ve forgotten because we’re all just so in our own worlds... Little things is also a chapter in my book. And the little things have always excited me.”

A butterfly. The taste of your food. A tree outside a classroom window. Grace doesn’t romanticize simplicity. She just recognized that most adults have trained themselves out of noticing anything that doesn’t come with a task attached to it.

You can dance with discipline instead of fighting it.

Grace rejects the idea that structure has to be rigid to work.

“I like to think I dance with discipline now, because when I was going through mental health issues, the lack of structure was really hard.”

She keeps routines and creates rituals but she doesn’t treat a missed habit as a failure, and she doesn’t force her body into a schedule that ignores how she actually feels that day. Structure gave her safety. It just stopped being allowed to run her life.

Closing Reflection

Grace Grossman has been an aspiring journalist, a freelance writer, a yoga teacher, a well-being coach, and a kindergarten teacher. She’s grieved a best friend, broken down completely, and rebuilt herself in four different countries. And she still doesn’t consider any of it finished.

“There’s no need to have to explain yourself or want to optimize yourself, but rather knowing already as you are and embodying that is the biggest part.”

Reinvention was never about arriving somewhere permanent. It’s about trusting that the next version of you is already trying to come through, the same way it always has.

If you’ve made a bold change: a move, a career shift, a creative leap, and you think your story could inspire others, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell us about your reinvention.

You know, starting my first full time job working with children, feeling inspired by this place, I was like, chill out and cheer up needs to come back again.

And so I went through it and I revised it with my editor and I cut it down so it's easier for you to read.

And also put in, five years later, grace of having gone through mental health issues, suicidal thoughts, and all of the rest, bringing in that, you know, that real state of life as well.

And this time, chill out and cheer up is also with a handbook for parents.

Because I've been an educator for over a decade, I thought it would be really good for them to combat fear, pressure, doubt.

Because the more you have doubt, the more your child carries it, the more you have pressure, the more your child feels it.

And so the more you start to really work on your emotions and befriend your emotions, the easier it gets to flow that me and Kevin have just been speaking about, like this flow of life that comes through you, with you and works for you.

Welcome to Standout Reinventions, a space for anyone who has ever felt stuck in a life that felt good on paper but doesn't feel right.

Sometimes the reinvention is chosen.

Sometimes it chooses you.

Either way, this is where we talk about what it actually takes to start over and why it's never too late to try.

I'm your host, Kevin Chung, and I spent 17 years building the American dream until I realized it wasn't my dream.

So my wife and I sold our house, packed up five suitcases, and moved to Costa Rica.

This series is where I sit down with people who've done their own version of the same thing.

So some who jumped, some who were pushed, and all of them who found a way through.

Let's get into it.

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Standout Reinventions.

And today I'm happy to have on Grace Groechman.

Grace, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, some of the work you do and how you've reinvented yourself over the years?

Hi.

Yeah, thanks for having me, Kevin.

It's really nice to be back live on substack.

So for those that don't know me, I'm Grace and I now currently live in Costa Rica like Kevin, but I'm on the coast.

I've lived here for nearly a year and five years ago, I went through a mental breakdown, mental crisis, and self published my book that I had written five years prior when losing my best friend and going through my grieving process.

And I've reinvented myself all the time.

I feel like it's a never ending cycle.

Right.

You're always growing and becoming every day.

There's never a moment where you're like, yeah, this is fully me.

It's always stepping into to higher versions of yourself.

And I love to do that and I love to bring that out in others around me.

I love to inspire people to be themselves and because we're not here to copy and to try and be someone that we're not.

So I love to bring that out in people.

Like what.

Who are you and what do you bring?

Because we all have a light, we all have a passion and motivation and it's all about following your heart.

And I think because I've nurtured following my heart for a long, long time, it just comes easier to me.

And yeah, that's.

And on substack I write I've been here for like a year and a half.

I think it has been.

And so I write to help you empower to be restful.

And in that rest, you can be your best and show up as your best.

A lot of the time we're on the go on the hustle actually when we go school flow and we, we soften smarter that we're able to really.

Yeah.

Live a fulfilled and intentional life.

Right.

Love it.

Yeah.

Can you talk a little bit about moving around?

Because I know you lived in a few different places.

What has caused you to go to the different places and decide you want to try life in different parts of the world?

Yeah, it's a nice question because I think I've just always had that within me.

So I was born and brought up in England, but my dad is German and so we always traveled a lot.

We went to Germany quite a few times a year to see my family and just the travel bug was really within me from a kid.

My parents really always empowered me and told me like, the world is your oyster.

I always remember that.

And so I remember at 18, I took my chance.

I was like, I'm going.

And yeah, I left home at 18 and went to Spain because I loved the culture and the language and fell in love even more so and then studied it back in England.

And then I lived in Spain again twice after that and then went to Germany to get to know my roots a bit because I hadn't lived in Germany before.

And I think that was a real indicator of getting to know myself on so many parts and accepting myself and opening up to the world that it doesn't matter where you're from.

We're all the same.

Like, we're all so different, but we're all the same.

And it's one of those that I think it really empowers you where when you live in different countries and different cultures, that you get to know so many of yourselves, if you know what I mean.

You.

You can be who you want to be.

Psych.

And enables you to be more you when you put yourself out your comfort zone and prove to yourself how strong you are.

Right.

Because, like, you've moved to San Jose too, and it's like you do these things and you notice and you're like, wow, it, like, this isn't that easy, but I'm doing it and I feel so free in it.

And yeah, I love living in different places because of that.

Like, it shows me how strong we are as humans and that we are actually here to migrate.

I mean, like birds like everything around us.

We're not here to just be in one place and to be static, but we're here to be dynamic and open and travel and get to know cultures and ourselves.

Because then we.

We reconnect with love.

Right.

I think we reconnect with empathy and understanding for others, which we lack in our society, in our world these days.

Because it's very like, I'm this and I'm that.

So, yeah, I think it's enabled me to not stick to one certain version of myself, but enabled me to, like, see everyone else for who they are and reflect it back and learn through all of.

All of those experiences.

Yeah.

I think it's interesting because the more that you learn about the specific customs and traditions of different people, the more you can actually see your own self in them.

Even though your.

Your customs and traditions may completely be different, you get to see how we're all just trying to connect and live in a world as ourselves, as our best selves, versus, you know, just trying to live to like, be entrenched in.

In our current ways or like, closing ourselves off to the way that other people live.

Because everyone obviously has established different ways to live and no one way is better than any others.

It's just people do things differently.

Yeah.

It's such a privilege that we're able to discover new cultures and discover ourselves in so many new ways.

Right.

I like that you say the connection because I think that's really a big thing that you notice when you travel.

Right.

That we're all just here to connect.

Like, we're all just human beings.

We're not just to be by ourselves.

We're Here to connect and to flourish together.

I think that's such a beauty of life that we've forgotten because we're all just so in our, like, you know, our worlds that we forget to expand and remember who we really are.

And from.

So, like, from right from the start, like, we're.

We're here to be able to create and to connect with others and elevate, because we elevate others when we connect with them.

And I think that's what I love the most about traveling and living in different places.

That.

Yeah, you.

You learn.

You're just constantly learning.

Yeah, for sure.

When you're living in one place for too long, like I did.

I was spent my whole life in the United States in one state, and I felt myself being like, stuck in this constant loop of sameness.

Every day is like the same sort of deal.

And when you move to a different place, it, like, completely unravels you from what you thought life was like before.

And it introduces you to a new way of thinking and living that you may never have considered before.

Yeah.

And that's not necessarily to say that, you know, like you just said too, like, that one way of life could suit someone else so well, like they could in their hometown forever, and that's absolutely fine for them.

And I go back to my hometown and I see those people, like friends that have done that.

But I think there's certain people or certain souls that are called to shine in different ways around the world.

And I. I think I've always had that spirit within me.

Like I've known for a long time.

Like I'm gonna.

I'm never going to be living back in my hometown in England like it was.

So you're like, outgrow places, right?

The more you grow, the more you outgrow certain established ways of living and also surroundings, because then it's kind of, like, stagnant, right?

Yeah.

And like you said, there's no wrong way to do it.

It's just.

It's just a different way to live.

Sometimes we need that comfort just because of the way.

The hand that we've been dealt in life, essentially because some people are not able to make this necessary moves or are, you know, kind of attached to certain things or family or whatever it may be keeping them there.

But for those of us privileged enough to be able to.

To be able to move around, it's definitely a joy to get to know new people in new places and do different things and, like, ways of living, because I think it makes us more empathetic.

To everyone because we're like, oh, we're not just this, we can also be this, we can be this, we can be this, we can be anybody.

Yeah.

Isn't that incredible though, that that actually is something that we forget.

But because of the way society is set out, especially if we're talking about the Western society that from like when we're a child, we're like, you know, configured or we're put into this configuration of like, okay, you know, the standards of life, like you have to get a partner, then you have to get married, get a good career and you have to earn this.

All of these standards that we have to live up to to feel accepted.

But that's on the exterior.

What about the interior?

Like, it doesn't matter about any of that.

And I go into that a lot in Chill out and Cheer up my book, because it was always on my heart.

And when my best friend passed, I really saw that within him.

He struggled a lot with mental health and just feeling accepted, but at the same time he was the most joyous soul.

He made everyone laugh.

He was such a sunshine.

But he was really struggling and it like, it got me.

And that's why I dedicated my life to like, you know, the psychology of humans, especially with children.

That's why I work with children, because it's like, who were we at the start?

We're artists, we're creators.

Like I see these three to six year old children, they just create, they want to discover there and explore in curiosity.

But it's like bit by bit we're chipped away of that and now we like have to re.

Enable that to come in.

That's why I talk a lot about rest, but because in those moments of rest you're able to actually digest everything that you've just, you know, taken out from the outside and remember what you are within, which is love, light.

And like you say, there's so many versions that you can be of yourself and that fascinates me.

We're always outgrowing those smaller versions.

Let's say that we've, we've shrunk for so long, but we're actually here to explore, expand and to spread love.

In the end, like, that's all it is, right?

And love and, and that higher vibration that we've forgotten about.

So I feel here in Costa Rica, like my mission is very like grounded.

I'm like, wow, okay.

I think I'm here to really like elevate those around me and the world around me.

We need more of that because A lot of people are suffering and even in the standards of life, you can't, you don't have to suffer even in your comfort zone.

You just have to make life exciting every day by creating and not consuming.

You know, I mean there's so many ways that I go into, but I would say the biggest thing for me is nature and remembering our nature remember reflected back to us from nature.

Right.

I mean it's so interesting because the like living online has only been a thing for 30 years.

If, if that.

And even like 20 years ago it wasn't like so, so online only a few people were online all the time.

But now as everyone has a smartphone, everyone has almost instant access to Internet.

Um, we have the ability to be online all the time and it has warped our perception of the world and how we interact with nature.

And we, we kind of lose that getting back into what humans essentially are if we just another animal.

Right?

We're just animals just like every, every other animal.

And we just have built lives to, to live inside of this little screen.

Even though we're doing this online, there are definitely benefits, but also, you know, it's hard to, to get out of it.

Yeah, you have to be very intentional and disciplined.

I think it comes with like the, the one and the desire to actually live a good life because when you're online it's like always a balance.

So sometimes for me, I don't know about you, but I do, I love my digital detoxes.

And so on this weekend for example, I wasn't online for like two days.

And then I have that struggle of actually coming back online because I would just love to just like, you know, be offline and enjoy every moment because everyone knows me as that like I enjoy present moment.

I'm a very present person.

So it's then reminding myself, okay, no, we have like a God given duty to be here and to show up so that we can inspire others.

Essentially.

That's really it.

At the end of the day, we all have a gift and that gift is to show up as you are online.

Right.

And to remind people who they are.

And yeah, the kind of distress that we can fall into online is like then comparing ourselves, which I did fall into and, and suffered from a lot at one point.

So coming back now noticing like these patterns of like, okay, being able to come online for how many minutes and then going off like being very structured with it and not just allowing myself to like get you know, like hypnotized into a doom goal and all of that.

I Think a lot of people do suffer with that because they're just not happy with their lives, in essence.

Yeah, Well, I think society, at least as has been dictated by those in power with all the money, have created this system where people are essentially just like cogs that you can throw into the machine, and as soon as they wear out, you can discard them like they were nothing.

You see this all the time in tech, especially where there's massive layoffs.

Well, you know, the owners of the company get hundreds of millions of extra dollars in their pockets.

So I think there's a balance here where we as a society should be dictating how society runs versus, you know, the other way around, where a handful of people are essentially dictating the way everyone else lives.

Yeah, it's kind of scary when you put it that way.

It's true.

Like, you.

Yeah, I think you have to want to realize that you're not a part of, like, this robotic system.

It's like, you're not a robot.

You're a human being.

Even if you've been taught the other way around to set into the, you know, to like, live up to these standards and into these systems.

But, yeah, I think it's.

I mean, we're here on substack, and we.

We write.

I think writing is a.

An amazing tool to remember our true selves.

Because I think when we're writing, it's when our soul is actually speaking with us.

When you're, you know, when you're doing these mindless activities, you're not even allowing any of that energy to come through.

So, yeah, writing for me has always been a massive part of my life to just, like, get back to me, like, through heartbreak, through grief, through big transitions, through.

Mostly through big changes.

But I do journal every day, and I've journaled every day for as long as I can remember as just a way of just, like, being able to think, like, oh, this is.

This is who I am.

You know, even if it is just pure mind.

What's it called?

Like, mind dump, you know, because too many people are in the minds.

Like, too many people are in their heads.

Like, how many thoughts you have a day.

You know, it's just coming back into this present moment, coming back into your body and just releasing that.

And, yeah, I see people suffer a lot with that.

And I think that's why it's so beautiful on substrate.

It's so refreshing because so many people are remembering that they're creators.

I saw something the other day, and I was.

And it was like the last part of your healing journey is, remember, is becoming an artist.

And I'm like, you're not becoming an artist.

You've always been an artist.

You just forgot.

And it's not last part of your healing journey.

Your healing journey never ends.

Like we were saying, like, there's just so many versions of yourself.

Right.

You're always just rediscovering.

And creating is such a beautiful part of that.

Yeah, I think anyone can be a creator.

It's just, do we allow ourselves to one do it and be okay with creating really bad stuff?

Because I think everyone, no matter how good you are, how long you've been doing, at some point you're going to be creating bad stuff.

And you evolve that bad stuff into something good over time and practice and refinement.

It's not everything that you do is not going to be a masterpiece.

Sometimes you'll get lucky with something and it'll just flow and that's when you know you've hit the flow state when it comes out great.

But most of the time it takes like effort and intentional, you know, practice in order to, to improve enough for your thing to become good.

Yeah, practice and dedication is really the art of sticking to, to art, to creating.

Right.

It's funny that you say that because I think it's also good to, to bring this up, especially when we talk about like writing books or just like writing in general.

Because yeah, it's true, you're not just gonna write a masterpiece straight away, but it's also such a spiritual journey because when I first wrote my book, for example, my imposter syndrome and my inner critic were louder than ever.

It was like I had written this book like as like giving back because I felt, I did feel responsible in a way for my best friend's death and I really wanted to give back and just help people with mental health issues.

So it's a 10 step guide on how to live a fulfilled life.

Like with negative emotions aside, like pressure, doubt and fear and then positive attributions to life like nature, connection, solitude, and how you can bring these two together.

However, when I wrote it, it wasn't like, I'm writing this and this is going to be a bestseller.

It was like, I'm writing this, grieving my best friend.

And so the inner critic took over like crazy Kevin.

Like I didn't self publish it for four years until I was in the mental clinic and I was out my mind, like boredom and just like horrible thoughts, suicidal thoughts that I was like, well there's no better time than now.

I mean, you know, I'm here as a self help guru, but I've also just gone through this shit and maybe this will actually come on better because it's quite vulnerable.

And it did.

And it was so incredible how then most reviews was like, it's like speaking with a friend.

It's like someone who knows you and understands you.

And I was like, wow, that's so incredible because the whole time I was writing this with my best friend and mine, and just like, you know, and it then proved to me that inner critic was bs, like your imposter syndrome.

And your inner critic is just trying to protect you from being the best you, if we want to put it down to that.

And a lot of the time it's about like all these layers of like, just pushing yourself out your comfort zone more and more and not listening to that inner critic because it's just protection.

It's like protecting you from being big.

It's like, no, go back into your shell, shrink back down again, you know, but actually you're meant to be here to share and care and especially the wounds that you've been through and the hard times you've been through, because that vulnerability is your power.

And that enables others to be vulnerable as well.

And we need more of that these days.

We have this facade up that everything's okay, but on the inside, people are breaking and dying, you know, from mental health issues.

And so for me, it was like, wow, going through that myself.

Then that mental health era was like, oh, okay, let's speak about this.

Because at the same time, it was like, you can't talk to anyone within me.

It was like, no, no one's going to accept you.

But that was all just like a protective mechanism of like, you know, loneliness and all of those terrible emotions I was going through.

So, yeah, I think one of those things I want to share right now is that, like, if you do have something on your heart that you want to share and write, like, just do it.

And like, sometimes, actually the best pieces are the pieces that your inner critic will be like, no one's gonna like this and rid that inner critic.

I think, like, the moment you get rid of that, the moment you can actually get into the state of flow and share your true glow.

Yeah, it's like, it's all.

It's all just a facade and you're here to shine, basically.

Yeah, it's.

It's so interesting because as humans evolved, that was there to protect them from real dangers.

And as the Real dangers have gone away and turned into different forms of danger.

Obviously we're not no longer afraid of like being hunted by lions and stuff.

We're afraid of, I don't know, like missing our tax deadline or whatever it may be.

There's the forms of what we are fearing has changed.

So we have to recognize that this has just been nature's way of helping us survive.

And we just need to know that that is why it's happening and work through that and use it to our advantage.

Because I think when those moments of should I talk about this?

Does this need to be said?

Am I the one who needs to be saying it?

Am I like the authority on saying it?

Those are the, the things that usually other people will see and recognize and appreciate because those are some of the universal truths that, that humans as a species all go through.

And I think it helps us connect with people better when we have those moments of vulnerability versus just glossing over them and saying everything is fine.

Exactly.

I think there's also the ego that arises, isn't it?

That kind of is like poking at you, like you can't be that person.

Like you just said you don't have the authority to say that.

But if you attune to love, it's kind of why I always like to bring those both in.

It's like the more you dismiss your ego, the more love rises and the more then people will feel that vibration.

Because it's true.

It's like when you say the, yeah, we're base, we're basically on survival mode, you know, and so these moments do feel really frightening.

And you can just go back into your bubble or back into your shell, but just like you say, just to acknowledge, but what is it that I'm scared of and how can I actually deal with this?

How can I get through it and just step by step, like treating yourself like a friend, treating yourself like a child and just going through those steps rather than like shrinking back into your comfort zone is so radical in how you just prove to yourself like daily then like how love can be the foundation of who you are and not your ego.

It's hard though sometimes when we're in surroundings like I'm sure living in the USA or living in Europe, where, you know, the standard of life is to attune more to your ego.

So it's really about nurturing, like we were saying before, like practicing those daily rituals, but allow you to be more conformed with the true essence of who we are as human beings.

The more you can Connect with that, the more others will connect with you because you're not trying to be someone else, you're not trying to live up to anything.

You're just being you.

And it fascinates me that so many people don't really know how to be themselves because we've all been a bit, yeah, mind boggled by everything that's around us and technology.

Yeah, I think we, we just want to distract ourselves from all the, the stuff that is constantly happening.

And if we never process that, I think that's how things come to like a boiling point where you're like, oh shit, I don't know what to do anymore.

I just going to shut down and either, you know, watch something TikTok, Netflix, whatever it may be, or you know, refuse to do anything like go outside, talk to people, go out into nature.

You're just like shut down and don't want to do anything at all.

So I think it's just recognizing when you're in those moments that you do not have to be doing that.

You could be doing anything else.

You could be creating, you can be connecting, you can be discovering, learning, going out into nature and really just living life in a way that is more attuned to like the animal spirit of who we are versus, you know, the people that we've conditioned to be is.

All about that, isn't it?

It's like reconditioning yourself and yeah, I like that you said that because it's true when you, I mean it reminded me when you just said that that I've been through that moment of just being so bombarded by life that I just couldn't deal and I didn't want to deal anymore.

And it's so hard because it really feels like you're holding the world.

Because I've just been a space holder, you know, for the past decade and I was.

I never knew how I could take up space, which is so ironic because I was always the one that gave other space.

But in my darkest days, I then realized that I'd over given this space of myself and that I really had to like come back to myself.

But I felt that it was impossible because of all of the thoughts and the depression that was taking over.

But it could be so simple as taking a deep breath, returning to yourself, you know, allowing your nervous system to just like come, come back and go outside, put your feet in the ground, look at the trees, like hug a tree, feel the air.

Like all of those little things are actually the big things.

Little things is also a chapter in my book.

And the little things have always like excited me and I see it in the children too.

And I think that's why I love working with children.

It's like, oh, look at that butterfly.

Or you know, oh, doesn't this taste so good?

Or like really tasting your food or your drinks.

Like you just forget to do all that, that you're like on, on standby, right?

You're just like a robot.

But we're not.

Like that's when your soul just like shuts down and then mental health issues then come through because you've forgotten to fulfill your soul with, with things that make you feel whole.

But we don't have to over complicate it.

I don't know about you, Kevin, but like I'm not here for all of this like optimization.

Like it's also overwhelming in a way now where it's like, okay, you have to plan your morning to your night hour by hour.

Like in one way I understand it.

It's like you want to have control, but you don't have control over anything.

Surprise, surprise.

The more you detach yourself, the more you realize that actually the light lack of control is so good, the more you can let go.

Like isn't that just what life is, just letting go and flowing that I think this like over optimization of, you know, in the self help genre right now that I'm confronted with a lot of masculine energy as well.

So I am returning to this feminine energy that I've never really truly actually connected with until coming here last year has been very grounding because we need the both, you know, and I think because we live in an indominant masculine energy world, we're just forced a lot.

And I'm really noticing like to let that force go and to flow.

The more I know or the less I know as well.

But it's just like it's.

Yeah, I think the over optimization, the self self help space could lead also to this like over eccentric form of living.

So I just wanted to put that out there.

I don't know how you feel about it because I think a lot of my guy friends are really in that right now.

And for example, I'll tell a story.

On Sunday I went snorkeling to this new beach and I was the one that told my friend.

I was like, come on, let's do it.

Just spontaneous.

Let's try there.

I know, I've been to this beach.

It was so beautiful.

We went snorkeling, the waves were a bit.

Got a bit cloudy anyway, then I was like, oh, let's go eat something.

And he's like, well, normally I only eat at 12 every day.

And I'm like, okay.

And he's like, but I can have a cheat day.

And then something within me that just hit me and I was like, I hate that word.

It's like it makes you feel like even it makes you feel worse because like, yeah, it's my cheat day.

Because it's like, well, why don't you just listen to your body more?

Like why don't you attune to your needs more?

Because every day you also have different needs.

You can't always compromise to one standard of like optimization because one day you might feel more energy or less energy and that's okay.

And it's about acknowledging that and feeling through that.

Do you know what I mean here?

And noticing my emotions more and then like honoring them and then noticing, okay, if I have more energy now, then I will go watch the sunset.

Or other days when it's like, no, and it's okay, I don't have to feel bad that I eat a pizza or whatever.

You know, those things that we just beat ourselves up about.

And so I think as well there as writers, words are so powerful.

The way you speak to yourself is the way you live and like really envision your reality that you live in.

So yeah, I.

What, what's your thoughts on this whole self optimization?

I, I definitely have an inclination to try to optimize, but I don't want to.

It's something that's been, been like built into the way that I think and I don't necessarily want to live that way.

I try to think where, how should I structure my day to get the most done or whatever it may be versus letting it happen.

And I think the more that we lean into, like you said, listening to what our body is telling us at this particular moment, the more we not only enjoy life, but we feel less stressed, stressed by it.

Right?

Because if we are trying to optimize every second of the day and you say you miss one of the things you're supposed to do, or you didn't do it fast enough, or you didn't do efficiently enough, you're like, ah, I, I could have done better.

And you just think about that moment, you're like, oh, what could I have done better?

Instead of, you know, just letting it go and living with the fact that something did not go exactly according to your plans.

And that's, that's fine, it's just the way that it is And I definitely have felt here in Costa Rica, for sure, I'm letting go a little bit more of that need to constantly figure out what to do with every second of my day and just let life happen and enjoying those moments that do happen instead of figuring out, should I have done this, should I be doing this, What.

What can I do to improve myself?

You know, life is not all about that.

That's also a good point.

It's.

It's true.

It's become an obsession.

It's become an obsession of how we can be our best version of ourselves every day.

How are we getting fitter in mind and body and spirit, Which I have to say, I love.

Like, I adore in one way because I think it's so beautiful that human beings always want to better themselves, you know.

However, it's become an obsession.

Like you're just saying like that when it does come to a certain moment that maybe something in your calendar hasn't happened or in fact, I remember last week a friend that she missed something because she wasn't in the moment and she was thinking too much of that and then she really was like going over it and over it and I was like, let it go.

Like, what is that bringing you to beat yourself up now?

About that, that just show.

That's like, I always think to myself and say to people, what's the lesson you learned in that?

Say it to yourself, move on from it, and then you'll know next time that you can learn and be better with that rather than having to optimize yourself through every hour of the day, which I mean I have to come back to.

Structure is really good.

Like, I think it's beautiful that I like to say I dance with discipline now because when I was going through mental health issues, the lack of structure was really hard.

And now working with children, like rituals is such a foundational thing for, you know, your early childhood, but also for adults that we forget about, you know, like eating at the same time every day or waking up at the same time, going to bed at the same time, having a good night's sleep.

Those little things again, they're worth optimizing for sure.

But.

But then I like to think on the weekend I let myself go a bit.

Like, why would I wake up at 5am on the weekend, even though I do, Because I have roosters outside my window sometimes at 3am and I'm like, okay, but yeah, just really treating yourself with grace.

That's why I'm here.

It's like also reminding yourself, treat yourself with grace.

If something hasn't gone to plan, then it's okay.

Tomorrow is another day.

And what is it that it's proving to you right now?

Because everything happens for a reason in your life.

It's like, oh, why is that showing up?

Or who is that person that's showing up?

What are they reflecting back to me or a situation, you know what I mean?

It's like always tackling these moments with curiosity rather than with the critic.

And I think then you're able to live more enjoyable in the mood, just letting them pass through you.

I don't know about you, I know you're not near the.

The sea, but I know you're in San Jose, and there's also a lot of nature.

But I'm near the sea, and I've never lived near the sea before.

I've always been in the country or in the city.

And the waves, they just.

They are like.

They just remind me, like, some days they're so harsh, and other days they just flow, but they're always coming and going.

And it's just like your thoughts, your emotions, life.

Like, you just have to constantly be in this.

This flow of, like, detachment and surrender.

And then it gets easier, for sure.

Yeah, we live in an apartment, but behind the apartment where the dog park is, there's, like, this set of, like, bamboo trees and the river rolling behind it.

And I just catch myself just staring out into the river and watching that the bamboo stalks sway in the wind and just being happy that I get to experience those moments as often as I can.

Because when we're living in certain areas, you don't get the opportunity to.

To enjoy nature.

And it's like, rawest element.

And being able to do that whenever I can is such a joy.

And we forget that it's such a simple, minor thing.

And it brings us such happiness and peace.

And why can't we bring that into our lives more often in more ways, in different ways?

Because it's all around us.

We've just built cities and roads and cars and all these things to distract us from the base elements.

But anyone has the ability to go outside and find those specific spots.

Even if you're in a big city, there's usually parks or whatever that you can go to and just sit in it and just let it be and not try to figure out what to do.

What am I supposed to be doing?

How can I be better at this moment?

I can just stop the questioning.

Yeah.

And don't you think, like, when you look at that river in the bamboo that it.

Everything just dissipates.

It's like you're.

You turn to your true nature again.

Because nature just reminds us of our true nature to sit still and rest.

And in that rest, you're able to be like.

And you might even get those whispers from your soul.

Then in those moments, and then you're like, oh, bingo.

That's what I needed, you know, because you.

You.

You've let that force go, so you've shut down, you know, like, the.

The nervous system being overrid and your parasympathetic system, like, then comes to flow.

And that's when you're really, like, in your body and in a safe space.

That's why, you know, like, listening to your body is such a big part and of reconnecting with what's true for you, because your gut speaks to you.

You're in, like.

You know, you have those moments where you, like, feel like something's not good and you're in your belly.

I like to think it's also, like, your intuition, and there's parts of your body that speak to you.

So it's like listening to those moments.

And then, like, you say, like, literally looking out the window.

Sometimes when I'm, like, in my classroom, and I'm like, aha, I'll just have this beautiful big guanacaste tree.

It's just outside our window.

And I just look and I'm like, wow, like, that is a beautiful tree.

And it just.

It's just stood there so, you know, so eloquently.

And then you just reminded, like, okay, all is well.

Reset yourself again.

You know, even those five minutes of just staring and being, that people have made us think there's a waste of time.

It's not.

I'm here to remind you those five minutes are magic.

They work like magic.

My phone is overheating right now.

Well, we'll just edit whenever you get booted it off.

But I did want to talk a little bit about all the different roles that you played in life.

What.

What were you doing before your friend's death?

And how did you become a writer?

And how did you balance that?

And now you're a teacher.

I don't know how long you've been teaching, but balancing all these roles and.

Your reinventions, you know, I think I've always taken on so many roles because I never really wanted to go down, like, the route of just being like, yeah, I do this.

I mean, before my best friend died, I was studying.

So at university, I studied journalism and Spanish So journalism.

I originally wanted to become a journalist, but then studying it noticed like that it's just also another cohort of the politics and how we're just like controlled.

So I was like, okay, well I don't want to be control again, so I'm just gonna become a freelance writer.

And so I started freelance writing when I stopped when I graduated and really just had a big drive to nurture that but also work with children.

So I was an English teacher, like teaching English as a foreign language and then a yoga.

And I've been a yoga teacher for the past nine years.

So I've always like juggled a lot of roles and a well being coach and hence also I had a breakdown because I think I mentioned before I've always been a space holder.

And all of these attributes and roles as you can tell, are very much giving people space.

And so through that, through that time five years ago, I had to reinvent myself again and I was like, okay, want to go back to online work?

Like it was draining me rather than inspiring me.

And I'd always loved working with children here and there.

So I studied again and it was also one of those moments in my life I was like, I'm too old and I'm like, I'm only 26, like I can do this again.

And so I studied for three years in Germany to be a kindergarten teacher.

But it was great because it was also like working as a kindergarten teacher as well as studying.

So I really learned a lot and then finished last year and came here straight away.

This is my first full time job ever at 30 years old.

And it was a weird feeling because I got really like right into it of like not being able to, to go into a full time job of like putting others before, before me.

So I really noticed it was like all meant to be.

Like everything's meant to be, right time timing is always divining.

However, I noticed up until this point I've not been in a full time job.

So I can tell how many people are like taken away by it or consumed by it rather.

And so it was a good time in my life because I done a lot of inner work of prioritizing myself finally and not putting others before myself, which I've done in the past decade.

And as a healer, you can't really do that in the end like you will, you will burn out, which, which happened to me.

So yeah, I've always juggled a lot of roles in my life, as you can hear.

But yeah, always an educator in some form.

Or way I like to think educate for children as well as adults.

Yeah, I just think there's, I love the analogy of the airplane and helping the person next to you, like your children or whatever.

I mean yourself before you're helping them.

Because if you can't help yourself, you can't help them.

So just like that advertisement in the airplane, you need to be taking care of yourself in order to be able to help others.

As a healer, as somebody that, that can help people.

Because if you're not willing yourself, your ability to help others is definitely like minimized.

Yeah.

It's a fact that maybe we're not all brought up with depending on how your childhood was and who you are as a person.

And I think it's because I'm just such a natural giver and space holder for people that I never was taught or I never learned myself how I'm able to be there for myself first because I just always wanted to prioritize others because I have so much love to give and I just always nurtured that.

But it was like grace, like you gotta go through your own stuff now and, you know, give yourself time to heal as well.

But yeah, it's a funny analogy that you just said.

I have not heard of that one before, but it's true.

Yeah.

I mean, if we can't help ourselves, then we really cannot help others.

Because who are we to say, like, just like when we were talking about being an imposter with, you know, writing a book and being who am I to write this book?

If you're trying to help other people heal but you cannot help heal yourself, is, is what you're saying gonna hold the right message?

Because people will see you struggle and be like, okay, should I listen to this person?

They may be holding the space, but if they cannot heal themselves, how can they help me heal?

Yeah, of course.

I mean, I've always, it's, it's, you know, I've always allowed myself time and space to feel emotions and deal with them in many ways and tools like writing and, and yoga and all of these spiritual acts and reading the Bible and connecting with God.

So it's not that I've not given myself the time and space to heal, but I think when I went through mental health issues was really the moment where I was like, okay, if this is my job to be a well being coach, a yoga teacher, you know, these big contributions to people and soaking in their energies as an empath and as a highly sensitive person, which I was not aware of at that Moment I then, I think was subconsciously just not enabling myself then to go through what they left with me, you know, because like you just kind of take on more others.

So now it's really good because.

Because now I know how to protect peace.

I know how to say no without feeling bad.

And every day I notice myself doing those things and I'm like, wow, what's this Grace?

You know, it's like we were saying, so refreshing when you see yourself growing out of or growing into these beautiful versions of yourself and you can, you know, it's never too late.

You just, I think you just have to really realize that you're meant for more and that you are more already.

Like there's no need to have to explain yourself or want to optimize yourself, but rather, knowing already as you are and embodying that is the biggest part, I would say.

Yeah, just knowing that you can work on yourself and reinvent yourself and improve yourself all at the same time.

And it's definitely not instant and it's a process and we're constantly evolving and improving.

So just because you don't see the instant results that you expect doesn't mean that it is not in your future, right?

No, and it's actually more about those small steps that no one sees that then build up.

Right.

And I mean we do live in like you say, like a quick fix society.

So it's like, well, we want, we want to see it straight away, but patience, you have to really have patience and trust like that.

Those foundational things are what enable us to be the person we want to be.

But yeah, before I go, I would like to, because I think my phone is gonna die.

I would like to say thank you for having me on and also just reiterate that out and cheer up was already out five years ago.

However, I had a big flow of inspiration when moving to Costa Rica from halfway across the world, from Europe, all alone.

I'd never been here before and you know, starting my first full time job working with children, feeling inspired by this place, I was like, chill out in CH needs to come back again.

And so I went through it and I revised it with my editor and I cut it down so it's easier for you to read.

And also put in, yeah, five years later, grace of having gone through mental health issues, suicidal thoughts and all of the rest, bringing in that, you know, that real state of life as well.

And this time, chill out and Chirrup is also one with a handbook for parents.

Because I've been an educator for over a decade, I thought it would be really good for them to combat fear, pressure, doubt.

Because the more you have doubt, the more your child carries it, the more you have pressure, the more your child feels it.

And so the more you start to really work on your emotions and befriend your emotions, the easier it gets to flow that me and Kevin have just been speaking about like this flow of life that comes through you, with you and works for you and so chill and chill out and cheer up.

Yeah, has been been said that it's just like a mental hygiene guide and a coach in your pocket.

And it's available as a paperback and an ebook.

And soon I would like to do an audiobook and it that's still in the works.

But for now all is well.

It's nice to have goals and to keep going and be inspired.

But yeah, also settle into just chilling out and cheering up because like we've been talking about this, this past conversation.

We're here to enjoy life and the more we enjoy it, the more we enable others to enjoy it around us.

And that's what I'd like to finish on.

Yeah, thanks so much.

It's been such a pleasure chatting.

I'm sure we can have more conversations, especially closer to when your book is relaunching.

Where can people keep up to date with your book and your work?

Yeah, so on Substack I do a weekly newsletter every Monday, which I'm keeping free.

However, I'm also holding a community now, a safe space for mothers to come together to realize that their power as well within each other.

And my book is out on Amazon so it's available as a paperback and ebook already.

And yeah, more to come.

More to come.

All right.

Yeah, thanks again for coming on and thanks everyone for tuning in.

Yeah, thank you.

Have a good day.

Okay, bye.

Thanks for joining us.

If you, if you're thinking about reinventing yourself or you're already in the middle of it, you're in the right place to follow along.

As I write my memoir and read about our move to Costa rica, head to thestandoutcreatives.com reinvention if this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear that starting over is possible.

You might be the reason they take the first step.

If you want to chat about your reinvention, send me a message on Instagram at Standout Creative Business.

Until next time, keep reinventing.