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Life Mastery Through Sustainable Fair Exchange - The Demartini Show
Episode 2295th April 2024 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:20:43

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There are seven primary areas of life that you can empower and master: Mentally, Vocationally, Financially, Familially, Socially, Physically and Spiritually. To master each area takes authenticity, sustainable fair exchange and equity in your daily transactions.

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Transcripts

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All seven areas of life are impacted

by sustainable fair exchange and

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authenticity.

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In all probability,

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you've heard of the term

sustainable fair exchange.

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This is a absolutely essential

component of the mastery of life.

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I mean, in every relationship you have,

whether it is at home with yourself,

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with your spouse, with your

children, with your loved ones,

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your parents, your social

interactions, your employees,

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your customers, the people you work

for possibly, your vendors. I mean,

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I could go on and on.

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Almost every area of your life is

affected by relationship dynamics and

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transactions. And unless you have

sustainable fair exchange with them,

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the probability of mastering

and maximizing your

potential in life goes down.

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Because anytime you try to get

something for nothing or give

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something for nothing,

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others or yourself will be in

disincentivized to continue.

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And so transactions will be short-lived.

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And anything that's short-lived that

is immediate gratifying is not as

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empowering as long-term vision.

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People that have a longer term vision and

longer term relationships tend to have

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more stability than people who don't.

So I'd like to talk about how do we,

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how to maximize our

sustainability and fair exchange,

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and its impact on all

areas of our life. See,

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I divide life into seven

areas, our spiritual quest,

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our intellectual or

mental development quest,

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our business or vocational

quest, our financial independence

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quest, our relationship

and family, familial quest,

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our social leadership quest,

and our physical wellbeing.

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So I'd like to address how does

sustainable fair exchange help all those.

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So we'll start with the mental.

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When you are exaggerating yourself

and looking down on somebody,

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thinking that you're superior

and they're inferior,

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and possibly minimizing

them and exaggerating you,

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you tend to awaken inside

you a narcissistic persona.

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The thing that thinks, well,

I deserve more than you,

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and my opinions are better than

yours, and I'm superior to you.

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A superiority complex. When you do,

you tend to think, what's in it for me?

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But you don't think of

what's in it for them.

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You devalue them and overvalue

you. When you do, you end up,

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if you're in business,

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that means you're not caring

and listening to the customer,

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or if you're in your mental faculties,

that means you have noise in the brain,

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and you're inauthentic. Anytime you puff

yourself up and exaggerate yourself,

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you have an inauthentic persona.

And anytime you minimize yourself,

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you have an inauthentic persona.

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It's when you're being yourself

that you have an authenticity.

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So if you puff yourself up and minimize

them and put them in the pit and

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exaggerate you on the pedestal,

you've lost your identity.

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And anytime you infatuate with you

and minimize them or resent them,

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they occupy and you occupy your

space and time in your mind and it

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distracts you and you have brain noise.

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So your mental faculty is

not clear minded. It's noisy,

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it's got static, it's got

emotions. It's inauthentic,

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it's unstable.

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And when you try to get something for

nothing or try to give something for

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nothing, you end up with a

narcissistic pride or altruistic shame.

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And so the pride and shame

is not a clear consciousness.

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So your mental faculties are clouded,

they're not clear, they're not stable,

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they're not inspired,

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whenever you are exaggerating

you and minimizing others,

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or exaggerating them and minimizing you.

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When you minimize yourself and

exaggerate them, you're altruistic,

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you try to give something for

nothing, you're out of fair exchange.

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So anytime you're out of fair exchange

and you try to get or give something for

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nothing, narcissistic or altruistically,

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you automatically have noise in the

brain. So from a brain function,

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the static in the brain, the noise in the

brain, the instabilities in the brain,

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the preoccupation,

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when you're highly infatuated with

somebody or highly resentful to somebody,

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it's hard to sleep at night.

Your sleep is affected,

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your brain function is diminished,

and you're in your amygdala,

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which is not the place where the executive

function is where you're most ordered

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and governed. So from

a mental perspective,

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it's important to have a sustainable

fair exchange and to see people

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reflectively and see them as equal to you,

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'cause you put them on pedestals or pits,

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you're not going to be yourself and

you're going to have all the noise. Now,

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from a business perspective,

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if you are puffing yourself

up and thinking you're

superior to your customer and

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don't meet their needs, they

don't buy, which humbles you.

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And if you think you're superior to

your employees and you don't meet their

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needs,

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they'll create a union to counterbalance

you to get things back in balance.

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The symptoms of business

are feedback mechanism,

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just like the symptoms of your brain and

mind are feedback mechanisms to let you

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know when you're not authentic and

not in sustainable fair exchange.

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And you're either exaggerating or

minimizing yourself with narcissistic or

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altruistic behaviors. So in

business, if you exaggerate yourself,

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you don't meet the customer's needs or

the employee's needs, which humble you.

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And if you're altruistic

and you exaggerate your

customers or your employees,

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you'll have anarchy in your business and

you'll have a lack of profits in your

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business with your customers.

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So you won't want to continue to do

business if you're minimizing yourself

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altruistically and they won't want

to do business with you if you're

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narcissistically exaggerating

yourself and trying to be, you know,

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get something for nothing.

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So what nature does is create symptoms

in your business and to bring homeostasis

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back to your authentic self where

you have sustainable fair exchange.

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So all the symptoms in your mind and

your brain and all the symptoms in your

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physiology for that matter,

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'cause your brain with its autonomics

and epigenetics is affecting your body.

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All those symptoms are feedback

mechanisms to get you to be authentic,

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to not exaggerate or minimize yourself,

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to not judge people and to love people

and to have reflective awareness.

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When it comes to finances

if you exaggerate yourself

and get emotional exuberant

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and get cocky and extroverted

and think you deserve more,

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and you start borrowing other people's

money and getting over leveraged,

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and you buy when the market is

skyrocketing and get elated,

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then you end up getting humbled,

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and you eventually have margin

calls and decline in returns.

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That's why Warren Buffett says,

until you can manage emotions,

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don't expect to manage money.

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So there you're trying to

get something for nothing.

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You're trying to use other people's

money to get you extra money,

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and you get a little

bit on the greedy side,

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and that eventually humbles

you and catches you.

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Or if you minimize yourself and you're

at the bottom and you're basically in

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fear,

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and now what you'll do is you'll sell out

at the bottom 'cause you're frightened

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of losing more and you'll

let your emotions run you.

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So if you exaggerate yourself or minimize

yourself and don't have fair exchange

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with the company and the the

employees and also the buyers,

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the customers again in the business,

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when you're buying company stocks or

real estate for that matter, again,

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when you have emotions and

you're unstable like that,

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you're foolish usually in your behavior

and you're not able to maximize your

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financial position in life. But if

you're in your executive function,

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you're thinking long term, you're

more neutral, you're more fair,

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you try to have a

sustainable fair exchange,

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you'll have a lasting

relationship with money.

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There's a gentleman here that I've,

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very close friend here that

lives on the ship that I live on,

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that says the number one rule

that he has in all transactions,

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and he is a very wealthy man,

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is to make sure it's a sustainable fair

exchange with the people that he's doing

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business with. He says that's the one

that allows you to have a reputation,

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to build a brand, and to

eventually make great fortunes.

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In the next area is relationships.

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If you think you're superior to the person

that you're in relationship with and

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talk down to them and not meet their

needs and think that you're more important

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than them,

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eventually they'll might surprise you

by having an affair or divorcing you,

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, which will cut your

economics down, affect your business,

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distract your mind .

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So it's wiser to communicate what you

value in terms of what they value.

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And you won't do that if you devalue what

they value and you overvalue what you

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value.

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So taking the time to see how whatever

they're dedicated to is helping you

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fulfill what you're dedicated to,

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and seeing how what's highest on their

values is helping you fulfill what's

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highest on yours, and vice versa,

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that increases the probability of having

a transaction that's sustainable and

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fair exchanged, and allows you to have

a long-term relationship. You know,

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there's an equity theory that's keeping

an eye on everybody inside is keeping an

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eye on what they've exchanged with people.

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And if they feel that you owe

them something, they retain it,

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that information in their mind. You know,

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a woman's memory is more

powerful than any intel chips.

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They'll remember everything,

of course men do too.

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So they basically remember anything

that wasn't a fair exchange,

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and they'll store that in

their subconscious mind

and download it on you when

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you don't have a fair exchange to

get you back into fair exchange.

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So it's just trying to

get you to be authentic.

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People want to be in

relationship with who they are,

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and you want to be loved for who you are.

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And so authenticity and sustainable

fair exchange is the key in

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relationships. It's the key in

finance, the key in business.

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It's key in your brain. And

when it comes to social life,

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even though you may want

to wake up your leader,

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it's when you live by your highest

priorities, you're most objective,

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you're most walking your talk, you're

most authentic in your expression.

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It's in that state that you actually

have the most powerful social leadership

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position.

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In that case you're capable of doing

something really extraordinary as a leader

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and guide people. And in

the process of doing that,

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you automatically draw and

magnetize charismatically people to

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you. And in the process of doing

that, you lead. And the question is,

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is when you're living

by your highest values,

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you're more focused on what it is that's

meaningful and you're be more in the

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leadership position. But

leadership position is really,

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and the charismatic and magnetic

description of people that are in the

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leadership position,

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are people who are automatically living

congruently with their highest value and

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are walking their talk.

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And that's where they're most authentic

and that's where they have the most

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sustainable fair exchange.

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They are able to communicate what they

value in terms of others. So as a leader,

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if you want to actually

have a social influence,

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it's caring enough to take

what's inspiring to you and

what's most important to

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you and communicate it in a way

that meets the needs of others.

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You know, on social media, if you go out

there and you share a message on there,

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when I share a message, it meets people's

needs, the numbers grow. When I don't,

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they don't. It's that simple.

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So if I am caring enough to communicate

my values in terms of their values,

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I have an audience and I have an

influence, and you make a difference.

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So the same of principle again.

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But if you exaggerate yourself and think

you know more about what they need and

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it doesn't meet a need, it humbles you.

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Or if you end up doing something

that is inspiring to people,

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but it doesn't mean anything to

you, you don't want to do it.

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So you have to find a balance between

you and them, the self and other,

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the sustainable fair exchange,

win-win as the key says,

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in order to have that sustainable.

And on your physical health,

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whenever you have exaggerate

yourself with narcissism,

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your glucose level goes up in

the brain because of glucagon.

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And when you minimize yourself,

insulin comes in and it it goes down.

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So your blood sugar, your blood

pressure, your physiology,

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your autonomic nervous system is

a feedback system with symptoms

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to let you know whenever

you're not authentic and in

sustainable fair exchange.

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So you're creating illness, if you will,

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as a feedback to let you know when

you're not authentic and not in a fair

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exchange with people that you care about

in these areas of your life. And so,

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all seven areas of life are impacted

by sustainable fair exchange and

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authenticity. And again, on the

last one is your inspiration,

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your spiritual direction.

When you are authentic,

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when you're in sustainable fair exchange,

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you have the highest degree of gratitude

because you can't wait to get up and be

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of service, people can't wait to

get it, and your brain is clear,

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you have a no clouded mind. You're

inspired, you're doing what you love.

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You are spontaneously

inspired from within.

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You're now fulfilling

your spiritual mission,

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'cause your highest value is

your teleological mission.

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So you empower literally all seven

areas of your life to the degree

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that you live by priority,

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communicate your highest priority

in terms of other people's priority,

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do it in a, not a narcissistic

or altruistic manner,

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trying to get something for nothing

or give something for nothing.

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But giving a sustainable fair exchange,

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where giving something for

something that's fair. When you do,

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you have the least amount of noise in

the brain, the most amount of business,

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the most amount of wealth production,

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the greatest relationship

endurance and win-win,

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the greatest leadership skills,

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you have physiological

wellness instead of illness,

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and you're inspired and

you're on your mission.

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So sustainable fair exchange can

empower all seven areas of your life.

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And that's why I wanted to make a

take a moment to talk about that.

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In the Breakthrough Experience Program,

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which I've been teaching

now for 35 years almost,

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I go in there and I teach people how to

identify what their highest value is,

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how to live according

to their highest value,

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how to have more adaptability

and resilience and objectivity,

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and therefore come from

a state of authenticity,

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walking your talk with

integration and how to

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communicate and do linkings of values and

communicate what you value in terms of

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other people's values, so you

can empower all those areas.

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How to dissolve the noise in the brain

so you have a clear consciousness,

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how to maximize the business transactions

so there's sustainable fair exchange

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with the people you work with and the

people you work for, the customer.

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How to have more wealth potential.

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And just that in itself in

Breakthrough is worth the class.

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And then also how to communicate

effectively in relationship.

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Because you're going to be in relations

with people all over your life.

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And if you know how to communicate

your values in terms of theirs in a

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sustainable fair exchange way, you're

definitely going to go farther in life.

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And if you can do that in social circles

and grow your leadership and leverage

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yourself now in whatever way through

public speaking possibly, or social media,

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this gives you a competitive

advantage and comparative advantage.

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And that will help you in have more

wellness quotient and have you have more

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vitality in life.

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Because when you're living by your

highest values and being authentic,

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you have the most energy and

vitality and health and wellbeing,

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and you're most magnetically attractive.

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And you'll be inspired and you'll

feel like you're on a mission.

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And those that have an inspired mission,

literally are their spiritual path.

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Your spiritual path may or may not be

religious and institutionally religious,

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it may be whatever inspires you. In

my case my spiritual path is teaching.

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But all seven areas of your

life are impacted by it.

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And that's why I tell people to

come to the Breakthrough Experience,

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so they can empower that. That's

been my dream since I was 18,

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to help people empower all seven areas

of life. That's what I wanted for myself.

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That's what I wanted for my students.

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I didn't want them to just be

lopsided and have a wheel that's flat,

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you might say, but have all seven

areas of their life empowered.

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To do original ideas and bring them to

the world and to grow whatever vocational

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business that's meaningful to them.

And that may be raising a family,

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'cause that's a business.

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Your customer may be your spouse and

you're having children as your products.

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But whatever it is in business

to be able to grow that,

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I want people to be able to

be prosperous in their life.

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I want them to be able to have a loving

relationship and have social influence

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and physically fit and be inspired.

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And I believe that that's what

everybody's looking for in a relationship.

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They're looking for somebody

that's physically fit and

inspired by what they're

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doing and, you know, have some

ambitions in life and goals in life.

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And somebody that's intelligent and

somebody that's resourceful and somebody

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that loves them and somebody

that's socially influential.

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You're looking for the

best package possible.

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And that's why in the

Breakthrough Experience,

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I teach you how to awaken those powers

have sustainable fair exchange so you can

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empower all areas of your life.

And I'm certain that you can do it.

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I've seen it, I've worked

with it. I know its impact.

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And I've seen thousands of people with

their feedback and comments back from the

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program, the impact it has.

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So come and join me at the Breakthrough

Experience so you can have more

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sustainable fair exchange and live more

authentically with less noise in the

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brain, more productivity at work,

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more income and financial empowerment,

more stable relationships,

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more social influence,

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more physically well and quotient

and energized and inspired.

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And I know that if you do that,

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I know you'll be able to say thank you

to yourself and look in the mirror and

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said, Hey, amazing individual you are.

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And it's all comes from

learning how to be authentic.

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The magnificence of who you are is far

greater than any of the fantasies you'll

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impose on yourself. So don't

exaggerate or minimize yourself.

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Don't exaggerate or minimize others.

Bring reflective awareness into operation.

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And that's why I tell people to

come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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I show them how to do this so they

can empower all areas of their life.

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