In this deeply powerful episode, I sit down with Carly Alyssa Thorne, trauma-informed coach, advocate, and transformational guide, to talk about what it truly means to heal from survival mode and reclaim your life after trauma.

Carly shares her lived experience navigating adversity, chronic stress, and the long-term impact of unresolved trauma — and how those experiences shaped her mission to help others regulate their nervous systems, rebuild emotional resilience, and rediscover their voice.

We explore how trauma doesn’t just live in our memories — it lives in our bodies. It shows up as anxiety, burnout, chronic overwhelm, physical tension, and patterns of self-protection that once kept us safe but now keep us stuck. Carly explains why real healing isn’t about “pushing through” or pretending everything is fine — it’s about creating safety within yourself first.

Together, we unpack:

• How trauma affects the nervous system

• Why adult children of dysfunction often live in chronic survival mode

• The connection between emotional wounds and physical symptoms

• The power of boundaries and self-advocacy

• Practical tools for nervous system regulation

• Reclaiming identity, strength, and self-worth

Carly’s message is both compassionate and empowering: you are not broken. Your system adapted to survive. And now you get to gently retrain it to thrive.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in fight-or-flight, disconnected from your body, or unsure how to move forward after adversity, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, validated, and hopeful.

Healing is possible. Safety is possible. And you are worthy of both.

🔗 Connect with Carly Alyssa Thorne:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlyalyssathorne

Website: www.Carlyathorne.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/carlyalyssathorne

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

If you would like to ask a question, and hear the answer in a future episode, please leave your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/Tammyvincentcoaching

I work with people who are ready to heal from the inside out — especially those dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, inflammation, gut issues, or burnout. If you’ve been struggling with symptoms your doctors can’t fully explain, it may be that your past is still living in your body. Unhealed emotional wounds and nervous system dysregulation often show up as physical and mental health challenges — and I’m here to help you break that cycle. If you are curious about where you stand energetically, or just need a frequency boost, book your FREE biofrequency voice scan here: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/complimentary-scan-demo

As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.

My holistic toolbox includes nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, nutritional support, and natural healing strategies,

🔑 Start Your Healing Journey

Find ALL THE THINGS HERE: Anything that I have to offer is right here

🧠 Work With Me – Head-to-Toe Wellness Consultation

Let’s explore what’s really going on in your body, mind, and spirit. During this free discovery call, we’ll assess where you are and what tools can support your healing.

👉 Book your session: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/head-to-toe-wellness-consultation

✈️ Bonus for Travel Lovers!

Did you know I also offer access to an amazing travel savings program that can help you save up to 70% on hotels, resorts, cruises, and more? Let’s compare your next upcoming itinerary and see how much you could save.

👉 Try the Trip Check: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/trip-check

📺 Subscribe to My YouTube Channel

👉 Adult Child of Dysfunction on YouTube

🌟 Book Me to Speak at Your Event

👉 Let’s connect: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/speakers-event-chat

🫶 Let’s Connect

📩 Email: tammy@tammyvincent.com

📱 Text: 513-280-3555

🌟 If this episode helped you, please share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit follow. Every share helps break generational cycles and brings healing into more lives.

Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.

Today we have with us Carly Alyssa Thorne.

She is a director, producer, actress, author, and speaker with over 30 years in the conscious transformation field.

She blends Eastern and Western philosophies and integrates wellness, spirituality and storytelling to create media and experiences that inspire growth and healing.

She's a former fitness and wellness center owner and certified life coach, Reiki master, NLP and hypnotherapy practitioner, and interfaith ordained minister.

You're a busy girl.

She brings in a holistic lens to every production of, collaborate and collaboration.

Her work bridges film, business and consciousness, empowering others to embody their truth, elevate their message, and lead with purpose.

Welcome, Carly.

How are you?

Thank you so much for having me.

That was a wonderful entry.

Thank you.

Yeah, I was gonna say that sounds.

I love when people read your bio or when people read mine.

And then I'm like, ooh, that sounds really good.

Did I write that?

Do the reverse.

I actually asked the other person to share because a lot of times people don't like hearing people read people's bio.

So I'll be like, tell me who you are.

Why did you do that?

You know, why did you start?

And, you know, it varies.

Everyone's different.

Everyone's different.

So I usually, I always tell people, I don't tell them.

Let's, you know, I don't spend time in the beginning having you tell your story because I'm assuming your story will be sprinkled all throughout.

But, yeah, every episode, every episode is different.

So we're going.

I'm just going to jump right in because you've had a long history of just helping people heal from, I'm assuming, traumas.

Yeah, Actually, my mom, when she was pregnant with me, had German measles, which means I was born with congenital rubella syndrome, which affects all your organs, all your bones and all your skin.

So I immediately, when I was 16, started studying all of Western Eastern medicine, and then I started studied all the Eastern arts, Ayurveda, biology, everything.

So I needed to understand what was going on with my body because I've had 64 surgeries, and it's not something that you just fix.

It's something that gets worse as you get older.

So since I've been in trauma my entire life and I've had my own therapists and coaches and whatnot, I found that helping others helped me stay positive and not go into the what was me and, you know, all that stuff.

So, yeah, I've Been helping people a long time.

Wow.

That's 64 surgeries.

Yeah, I'm going for my swell.

Actually, I think it's the 66 on the 20th of this month.

So do you have any.

Any non essential organs left?

My only two organs that are still really well are my kidneys, thank God, and my liver.

All my other organs are this a mess.

It's funny.

Yeah.

I had a hysterectomy and I was like, listen, I am so done with this.

I'm like, if it is non essential, just take it out while you're in there.

Like, I'm like, Exactly.

I had 10 uterus surgeries.

10 and then 10 laparoscopies where they go through the belly button.

I had chronic ovarian assist endometriosis, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

But I was 25 years old, so they didn't want to do anything.

They kept piecemealing me.

They went in and took one half ovary, then they went and took the other ovary.

So by the time I went from a hysterectomy, I had one ovary left.

And guess what they wanted to do?

Leave it in.

And I go, you guys are high if you think you're leaving that ovary.

Which, by the way, we had just scanned before.

We had an ultrasound, which showed it had assist on it, and I was prone for my ovaries enlarging and assisting exploding.

So I'm like, I'll sign whatever you want.

I know I can't have kids.

I've already been to an IVF specialist, which you are not.

You cannot.

You can't go to an IVF specialist with one ovary because the drugs they give you is to give you more eggs, which mean it could explode, that you almost die again.

So I'm like, you're not leaving that in.

So 25 had a medical hysterectomy done.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

I mean, I'm just.

I guess.

Makes sense.

So if you.

If you were 40, I guess they'd be more quick to do a hysterectomy, but not 25.

I guess that makes sense in a. Yeah.

They're like, you still need the estrogen.

You still need the estrogen.

I said, I'll take estrogen supplements.

Thank you.

Yeah, exactly.

And now, I mean, with all that you study Western and Eastern medicine, you probably have found ways to probably supplement that anyway in a natural way with the herbs and all the other stuff.

Yeah, I love that.

So.

You do?

Yeah, I take.

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Oh, no, I was gonna say I'm.

Sorry, I didn't hear what you just said.

Is there, there might be a lag at the side?

No, I was just gonna say.

So you do eastern and western and a mix with the spirituality and everything.

How long have you like, what's your main focus?

I guess, yeah, I could say so.

My main focus is life coaching, but the life coaching is always multi sensory, so it always involves energy.

Anyway, I work with people on mind, body, spirit, business, because it's all interrelated.

If you're suffering in your home, you're suffering in your business.

If you're suffering your business, you're suffering at home.

They're all intermingled.

And the same thing with your health.

If you're not actively moving or positive what not, your health's gonna fail.

So, yeah, I, I do take western medicine.

I believe western medicine has a place.

If you break a bone, it gets fixed.

There's some medicines I absolutely have to take for my heart, my blood pressure and other things.

I take about 50 nutraceuticals or herbs a day.

Right.

So I, I literally do try and use both as much as I can.

Well, I kind of believe, I feel like you, I feel like they, the western medicine has its place in my place.

It seems to be that it's crisis.

I had a stroke in January.

And you better people like, oh, you don't believe in medicine, but you let them give you a clot busting shot.

Because I was paralyzed in my left side.

Absolutely.

I let them go in and bust the clot.

And then when they gave me a stack this big of prescriptions when I left the hospital, I said, thank you, I'll take this one for 30 days just because I know I'm more prone to another stroke and then I'll figure it out.

But no, I, I agree that you have to.

It's a balance of everything.

And it's what you believe in.

Really.

It is, I truly believe.

And that's where archetypes, when I work with people, I figure out what the archetype is.

Because believe it or not, someone that's into herbs, they love herbs like gardening and they actually do well with herbality.

Girls that love flowers and they're really good with flower essences.

Now men that are very analytical do really good with homeopathy, by the way, because A plus B equals C. It's a scientific approach.

And the same thing.

If they believe that isotope, radioactive isotope is going to cure their prostate cancer, it will it's all, it is.

It's all belief system.

Belief system and the sugar pill comparisons they always do in trials and everything.

Exactly.

And it's funny because I use an AO biofrequency resonance scan kind of thing and I use it with my clients and I kind of joke and I say, well, it's just a way to put the tangible with my woo.

Like, I can talk to you and know you have gut issues and you have, I can see in your face you have inflammation.

Like I can know all that stuff.

But then when I run that scan, they're like, why did it say that my gut brain access is off?

And I'm like, because it is.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I always tell people, I mean, I teach, you know, spirituality too, but I t. And I teach it in a way that's not woo woo.

So they can hear it.

I can talk about the chakras and not tell them what color they are, which way they spin.

I just walk them through an analogy of their chakras with a thought and they're like, wow, I never thought about it like that.

And then they get it.

And it could be a lawyer or a doctor just say, okay, thoughts come from somewhere.

So they come into your crown.

You speak about it, you get passionate about it, you start networking about it.

Your gut is your networking connection with people.

And then your, your root chakra is either creating what you wanted to create or aborting it because you have a choice not to create it.

Right.

So we're all world beings of choice.

So, you know, you're doing it or you're not doing it.

One or the other.

Very interesting.

So how did you stay.

This is just, I mean, you probably asked me to ask you this question.

I can't read.

I don't have my glasses on, so I'm just winging it here.

But how, with 64 surgeries, growing up with all of that, how did you keep such a positive mindset?

Well, I also went through abuse too.

And I think after you've gone through abuse, I think you really get to these points where, you know, you do have thoughts of suicide and get really negative and really depressed.

And you really get these choice points of choosing what you're going to do with your life.

And so I got different counselors and mentors and whatnot.

And I just was like, okay, I really need to make a choice here.

I need to choose to live or die.

Because this woo woo or going back and forth between the two was not serving me.

I was constantly in massive depression.

So I just learned I wear colorful shirts.

I wear shirts with sayings on them.

And all those things are conversation starters.

And also help me remember for me to be positive by seeing flowers or butterflies or whatever the saying says.

So it's this all mindset.

I have to.

I wake up the next day, I may be tired.

When I wake up at the minute again, the camera, it's like the light switch goes on.

You know what I mean?

It's like, okay, here.

And I've been behind her in front of the camera since I was little, so I'm kind of used to, you know, that energy just popping on once you start talking.

Yep, I did that today.

I had, I think I had six interviews today.

And it was so funny in the last one I did, she's like, aren't you exhausted?

I'm like, no.

This is what lights me up.

What's going to exhaust me is the seminar that I want to watch at 8 o' clock to learn about hormones.

That's gonna exhaust me.

I know I can't listen to them.

It's like you go look at a product and there's a video for the product.

Why can't that video be 10 minutes?

Get to the point.

If people still need to know more information, then continue.

But at that 10 minute point, you better click the buy button.

I'm the type person, I know right away if I want something or I don't.

I don't want to have to watch the whole damn video so I can buy a product.

Oh my gosh.

I totally agree.

This one, I actually is actually educational and I was actually learning from it.

But I watched another one today and it was like, how to do something.

And literally the comments, I was watching the comments and they were like, dude, can you get to the point?

This has been 37 minutes of just, just fluff, right?

And we.

And you know, it's at the end of everyone.

Every single seminar you watch, obviously they're doing seminars to make money.

So I get that.

But it's like, get to the point.

So I usually know my stopping point.

I'm like, I know within 10 minutes of dealing with somebody if I would buy from them or if I trust them.

I know that.

But I'm like, well, maybe I can get one little, little nugget out of here, but see if we can do anything with that.

But you're right about the choice.

My.

For one of my very first podcast episodes was with a lady, Carolyn Deck.

And literally that was like her slogan was, you have one choice.

You like choose you.

That's it.

And it does make sense.

And I love the fact that you wear.

I mean, for the people out there listening, I've mentioned that in probably the last three episodes.

I love that you have that conversation starter piece shirt.

I have the one that on the back it says, smile, Jesus loves you.

And so many people tap me and go, thank you.

I needed that today.

And it's, it's just you're putting that positivity into the world and that's what you're going to get back.

And I tell people all the time, it's like, you never know.

First of all, there's always someone somewhere that has it worse than you do.

However, also these podcasts that we create in video cast, there's always someone that needs to hear exactly what you're saying in that moment, too.

Yep.

So what you're wearing, what you say, how you are, how you present yourself, not only by clothing, I mean, your energy, you know, that makes a huge difference.

Absolutely.

And I know everybody, you know, when you go into the new year, people are like, what's your.

What's your word this year?

What's your word?

And this year I literally said intentional.

My word is intention.

Because I felt like after my stroke, I was.

I had the worst brain fog for like six months.

I couldn't even.

And nothing.

Everything was scatterbrained.

I had no.

I would start one thing, I would do it.

I think I feel like I had instant onset, full blown.

Yeah.

Or Alzheimer's.

I mean, literally, I was like, I can't get it together.

So nothing I did.

I feel like nothing I did last year was intentional.

Good things happen.

Do you know what side of the brain you had your stroke on?

It was a right side brain stroke.

Because I watched that.

You'll see the differences in personality.

Like, it literally makes a difference on what side you have the stroke.

And depending on what side of the stroke you.

Which side it was on, those personality traits will become you more forward than the other.

It's really fascinating.

Look it up.

Look up outside the brain and it'll tell you all the personality traits that come from that.

And it usually someone has.

And a lot of people say they don't even know the person after how the stroke they're going.

That person, my.

My mother never cursed, you know, they never did this, they didn't do that.

What the hell's going on?

And the doctor has to explain, she had the stroke.

It was on the right side or the left side.

And this is why.

But yeah, that's really important.

Check it out because you might have some aha moments.

Oh, that would, that would be interesting.

That would be cool.

I just felt like I just turned instantly.

Brain fog.

I was like, I just literally went from 56 or 57 to 102.

That's how, well the, the stroke scrambles your brain.

So that's why you're, you're in such a fog.

I'm on, I'm also on blood thinners for all of my life.

I have one artery that's closed.

I just went for a heart procedure last week on the 30th, and they, I avoided getting a stent.

They managed to clear out one of them.

And so now they, they're like, okay, you still need to stay on your blood thinner, but now we want you to have a baby aspirin.

I'm like, are you sure you want to do blood thinner and a baby aspirin?

Yes.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Don't hit yourself with a chair.

That's for sure.

No, I, I'm, I, I, I'm a bleeder if I bleed now any.

Because, you know when you have blood thinners, when you hit and you get any little thing and it's going to bleed.

So, yeah, I, when I was taking the blood thinner, that was the medicine.

I stayed on for 30 days after because I knew that was smart, you know, I was not being dumb.

And I found a, a nutraceutical that was like a nitric oxide that flushed and made your body produce it.

And so it got rid of bruising.

And it was so nice because I would, like smell smack myself and then at least the bruise would go away.

But I work part time in a restaurant and I knocked.

I mean, I was in the hospital a couple times after that just from the damage of hurting myself.

So.

One of the nutraceuticals that's great for bruising is called Rutin R U T I M. It's a byproduct of, it's in the vitamin C family, but it's a part of the vitamin C R U T I N. And it's specifically for bruises.

Like, after I, after I just had my surgery on my chest, I immediately started taking two rootings a day, and the bruising went away within a week.

That's crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy what some of that stuff does.

I had, my friend had reconstructive breast surgery for.

She had breast cancer and they did fat grafting off her side, and she had a bruise like this big on the side of her hip and everything.

And we went to the oncologist on a Monday and the.

She said to her oncologist, how long do you expect this bruising to last?

And the oncologist, like weeks, if not longer.

Four days and just gone four days.

And the oncologist, if you take, if.

You take those supplements, they really do make a difference.

I, I was shocked when I heard about Rutin and you will not believe how I heard about Rutin.

But.

And excuse me, I always use and instead of but it's just a neuro linguistic thing.

And the BDSM community, the people that are into the darker art sexually use rootin so as not to show bruising.

Oh.

I was like, that's how I found out about it.

Because a friend of mine was into all that stuff.

She was like, yeah, we take.

I go, how come you don't have bruises everywhere from, you know, being spanked or whatever the heck she was doing?

And she's like, oh, I just take rootin.

I'm like, okay.

And then I, of course I went and bought it because I'm always bruised from all the surgeries.

So I, that's how I learned about it.

I learned about it from the dark arts.

Isn't that funny?

So now you can go to these crazy sex parties too and not.

Yeah, exactly.

And they know what to take before and after.

It's a win.

Win for everybody.

So of all your stuff, like you do the life coaching and that's.

I love that you can build into the energy and stuff like that.

Do you do mostly remote stuff or you do.

I do mostly remote.

I used to, years ago, do one on one body work that incorporated life coaching with energy work and all the other stuff.

But that's.

That gets really draining after a while.

So I now just do everything remotely.

I have some clients that I see, but for the most part, I do everything remotely.

I do a lot of video like we're doing now.

Okay.

Yeah.

And that's really the easiest.

And I know it was when I was trying to explain to somebody that you could do Reiki remotely and stuff like that.

They were like, no, you can't.

I'm like, okay, I know, but trust me, you can't ask for.

I always ask for a picture because I can just zone in on the picture and if they don't want to be on a zoom with me while I do it, I can just do it remotely and just look at the picture and that's fine.

Or I can just look at the picture, close my eyes.

And tune in and go from there.

It's amazing.

I love Reiki.

I'm not.

I just got the first cert.

I just do the first one.

And I didn't do it to do it on clients or anything like that.

I did it so that I could get my own pain level with sciatic and stuff from a 10 to a 2.

I just needed to be able to sleep at night.

So I'm like, let me just learn how to do Reiki and I can sleep at night at least, if nothing else.

But so you do filming and stuff and I.

You mentioned your podcast, Posium symposium.

You mentioned.

So how do you build like the.

The energy and the spirituality into the business leadership with that?

Like, do you do a lot of leadership coaching?

Yeah, I do a lot of leadership coaching.

And one of the first things I teach is do it, delete it, or delegate it.

You're either going to physically do what you need to do.

You're either going to realize there's someone better than you that can do the job you're doing and delegate it, or if you realize that it's no longer a service to your company or yourself, you delete it.

So that's the first thing.

And then the second thing is really teaching about.

It's a weak culture, not an eye.

If you don't, if you, if you are not willing to collaborate, you're not going to achieve a large success because it takes other people to create other things.

And that's the same thing.

If you have a client and they're slacking and I just pretty much tell them you're wasting your money.

You have a choice here.

You can either collaborate with me and learn and grow and choice.

It's a choice to change and changes growth or not.

But I'm not going to waste my time and your money if you're not going to be willing to do any of the exercises or some of the homework I assign.

Because it's intentional, right?

Yeah.

There's a system to it, for sure.

I know.

Have you ever gone and talked a lot being being with the trauma background that you have?

Do you do anything with trauma?

Like, I love talking about trauma informed leadership and just the difference that makes.

Do you do that at all?

Yeah.

Trauma informed leadership is.

Is very interesting because people that have had trauma, they're other two types.

They become introverted or extroverted.

They become quiet and sullen or angry.

So it's all about finding the middle ground is how do you still be a positive leader.

Also teaching them to Lead without having to come to you constantly.

You have to build leaders that are actually going to lead, and that's on you, on you to create that.

Right.

And also, like, I know I've gone into corporations and talking about how leaders can be kind of like you said, the collaboration.

If you can switch the verbiage that your leaders are using with some of these trauma people and be a little more trauma informed, the productivity, so much better.

It is, it is.

And it's also, I find really good to have someone go into your office and kind of walk the space and tell you where energy zones are that are really actually dark and negative and how you can spin.

I mean, literally, feng shui is, is, is for a reason.

Feng shui really works where you have things where you don't have things.

If you have your desk clear so your brain can think, because your mind literally has to.

If you're at your desk and you have all these things around you, your mind has to like, literally acknowledge everything on your desk.

Right?

That's how it works.

So the clearer it is, the clearer your mind's going to be.

So it's all about organization.

And that's another huge thing in leadership.

And all that is literally organization.

Organization is everything when it comes to leadership.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I can imagine.

And all.

Not only that, but like, when, even, like I said, when I had my stroke, that was one of the first tips they gave me, is keep your area tidy because if not, you're.

You're not going to be able to focus.

Your.

Your mind is all over the distraction.

It's like 50,000 distractions.

And.

Yeah, and it's huge.

It's huge.

But I wanted to go back to what you were talking about when we were talking about trauma before.

There's one thing I, I think is a real key component to speaking about trauma is the forgiveness piece.

Because when you tell someone who's been raped, you know, verbally, physically or sexually abused, and you tell them you, you need to forgive that person, they think you need to forgive the person for the act.

You're not forgiving the person for the act of what they did.

What they did is still wrong.

You're forgiving them so that you can move on, so you can den.

Disconnect that cord from that person and, and be a happier person and not go always into that darkness.

Oh, yeah.

We talk so much about forgiveness.

And I'm like, you know, going through the 12 steps.

And a lot of my clients, you know, they are 12 step participants in many of the different 12 step programs and they get to that forgiveness part and they're like, I can't.

I'm like, then maybe you just need to rework, like refiguring your mind.

But reword what forgiveness means.

It doesn't mean forgive and forget like, or let go and forget and condone.

It means you letting go of all the hatred, animosity and anger that is keeping them having control.

They could be dead.

They're not going to come back and apologize.

But they still have control over you.

Yep.

That's the point, is disconnecting that control, that you take your own power back, you take your own body parts back and.

Yeah.

And until you can let go of that anger that you don't, you literally don't.

And I'm like, it's, that's, that's a huge step.

So I'm like, let's just redefine what forgiveness is then.

And you can.

But when you can say these stories about your mom with no physiological response, you've let go of that like that, that tie.

It has hard too for some people.

People are still alive.

Like my dad died when he, when I was like in my 30s and he punched my jaw.

I'm like, he's.

I had two 10 hour jaw surgeries later, later on in my years.

But the point was that people were like, you know, you hate your dad, or my brother's like, oh, you didn't love dad, you hated him.

You know, I said, no, I created a healthy distance.

I created my own boundary.

Right.

As I got older, I didn't see him as much because I wanted a positive environment and I didn't want to be yelled at and I didn't want to be constantly startled.

I have post tract stress disorder from result of all that stuff.

And I have a big starter response.

So if someone comes.

Still to this day, if someone comes to my bedroom door and I'm not gonna go, Carly, I jump.

It's like I need that space.

When they come to the door, they knock or they say quietly, but if someone just jumps at me, I'm gonna jump.

And I don't have control of that.

Even though I know, even though I know what's happening, I know about the fight or flee response.

My body, unfortunately, even though I've had healers work on me, eft tapping, you name it, I've done it, my body still has a significant starter response.

Yeah, and that's so normal.

I mean the sensory responses are.

And they're so deep.

And those, those memory, those physical memories in your Muscle memory that they.

I can.

I mean, I know.

I remember one time I had this thing going on as kind of weird story.

I'll be quick about it, but.

And my mom used to like basically force feed me soft boiled eggs every day.

And if I didn't eat them, sometimes I got spanked, sometimes I got put in the closet.

Like it was just crazy.

And it was always while she was watching her soap oper as the World Turns.

And I remember and like 30 years later I'm sitting there and all of a sudden I just like vomited on the table.

And I'm like, interesting.

Had no idea why.

And it was that the music had come on in the other room and I'm like, wow.

And I think that was the first time I ever fully 100% grasped the concept of PTSD.

Yeah, people don't understand that you viscerally have these feelings.

And you can go to healers, you can go to counselors.

They'll give you the tools to not be as startled.

They'll give you the tools on how to deal with depression and anxiety and how to forgive.

However, in the moment, if something catastrophic happens, your body can still react.

You'll know what's going on.

You still know that's what's happening, but you can't stop it.

Oh yeah, no.

And it happens before you even know what hits you.

And it's so.

It's so subconscious.

Like I could turn on the show and watch the show and that didn't bother me.

And the commercial came on, you know, and music came on 15 times, but it was just hearing it when I wasn't expecting.

My body was like, yeah, it was kind of crazy.

I was kind of fun.

I mean, it wasn't really funny, but it was funny.

No, I know.

And then what I was.

What I was trying to say too about like when parent.

I think a lot of times people have a problem talking about trauma if those people are alive.

Like I didn't talk about any of my dad's trauma or that would happen with him because he was still alive at the time.

And even though I said things were happening, no one believed me.

So that made me even more introverted about it.

And then my mom just died about two years ago and that was a whole nother can of worms.

And I found it interesting.

I kept saying to myself, I'll write my story or I'll tell my story.

When this person's dead.

When that person's dead, then I'm like, oh, wait a minute, this person's still Alive.

If I say anything about X, they're going to sue me.

Right.

Come out and, you know, say X, Y, and Z.

So it's kind of interesting.

You have to stand up for yourself, and it is good to tell your story because you help other people realize they're not alone, and yet you still have to navigate all the circumstances around it.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm the first one to admit I didn't say anything negative ever about my father on any podcast, anything.

I wasn't really doing podcasts when he was alive at all, but I would.

He kept saying, you know, you ought to write a book.

You love to write.

And I kept thinking, I can't write a book.

It's going to be about you.

Right.

And that's what I was thinking.

So then once he passed, then it was like, okay, I'm free to say whatever, because, I mean, it was a very different relationship.

Like, I was very, very close to my father, and I always say, you know, my mother, I was not close to.

There was a lot of bad mojo there.

But my father, I never had a hard feeling.

I knew that he was just entangled up in mess of psychiatric chaos, and I. I never had hard feelings.

I knew he had been molested as a child, and he had severe PTSD from Vietnam.

And, like, I understood all that.

My mother, I just felt, like, had no excuse to treat us the way she did.

So.

Yeah, but, yeah, no, I totally get that.

You kind of tiptoe around it until everybody is out of the picture.

Unfortunately, sometimes people wait till they're in their 80s, then, and they're like, oh, I want to write a book, and that's fine.

Yeah, I think everyone should tell the story when they're ready to tell the story.

And I think the more people that tell the stories, the more people connect.

And people connect with the face, that connect with the body language, they connect with the hand talking, whatever.

Whatever resonates for them.

Or too much hand talking can be very distracting.

I'm Italian, so I talk with my hands.

I can't help it.

I. I'm not Italian, but I do.

I'm so bad.

So I have to remember to keep my hands relatively still.

Otherwise, you know, there'd be too much hand choreography.

Yep.

I always wonder that, like.

Oh, like, the people that just listen to my podcast probably have no idea that my arms are flailing and my chair goes back, you know, it's okay, though.

I. I do it when I speak, too.

I'm all over the stage and I'm up And down.

It's.

It's okay.

That's just me.

So you have to be you.

And that's all you can be.

Mm, absolutely.

So tell us if we want to work with you or somebody wants to reach out to you.

What are your.

What is your program like?

What is your working look like?

What do you do?

So I initially have a phone call with the person we talk about.

What are their things that they want to work through?

I work with a lot of people that are at crossroads where they're trying to get through something or they're grieving or divorced or something like that.

And so the first thing is always a conversation about where they want to go.

And then after that it's, you know, then I start giving them a few exercises to help me further get into finding out who they are, what's their archetype and everything.

So then I can build a program that's designed based on them.

I have no cookie cutter programs.

They're all multi sensory based.

However, they're all tailored to each individual.

Well, I was going to say with so many different modalities that you have, and they practice, they would have to.

To be.

You wouldn't be, you know, you have to pull in what you need.

You know, it's.

I'm not certified in breath work, but you better believe I start every session and I'm like, okay, breathe.

Like sometimes, like I'm just breathe.

Let's breathe.

You.

You do what you need to do.

And after your lifetime of trauma, you have quite a bag of tricks, I'm sure.

Yeah, it's been interesting.

And I, you know, I always believe anyway, every client too, you learn something new.

You know, we're never.

When people call themselves the world's expert, I kind of laugh because there's always someone somewhere that knows more than you do.

So why are you calling yourself the world's expert in X?

Why don't you just say that you specialize in X?

You're not the world's best, because no one's the world's best.

And you could probably put two of the world's best up against each other.

And they say totally different things.

Disagree on every level then.

The point anyway is that there's plenty of life coaches.

It's not like you're gonna steal.

Steal clients from one person to another person.

It's like there's so much money out there for everybody.

There's so many life coaches out there for everybody.

It's just a matter of doing what you need to do and stepping up and doing it.

Yep.

And, and who you resonate with.

You know, I tell, I tell people.

That's because people come on all the time with me and you know, they'll say, well, Tammy, she does energy work and you do energy work and she does a scan and you do a scan and she does Reiki, you do Reggie.

But there's going to be two people that listen to the both of them and one is going to resonate more with the other and so be it.

I'm.

My job is to make sure that the information gets out there for the people that need it.

And there's enough, like you said, there's enough fish in the sea.

And totally collaboration over competition any day.

Because I focus a lot on collaboration.

Actually had one of my websites used to be social we Media.

I used to do a lot of social media management back then.

And it's just trying to teach people.

It's we, it's we, it's, we can't just post about I, I, I all the time.

Yeah.

I actually started a series called the Collective Wisdom Healing series because when I did my summit and it was 45 speakers and I something kind of cringed me that somebody said it was something about inner child work and it just made me feel kind of like, ooh.

But then I thought, well, that's kind of judgy.

Like, what if somebody else heard that and they really needed that perspective.

So I started this thing called the Collective Wisdom Healing Series and it's like a course that you can go through and it's got like 30 different topics and all the coaches and stuff put all their stuff in it.

It's all from all different coaches and authors and writers and speakers and whatever it is.

And each one has a module like, and you can follow along, but it's all resources from all different people.

Because my perspective, like I said, you know, you and I could say the same thing in a totally different way and somebody could hear you say it and go, oh, now I get so.

Yeah.

And that's why I talk about archetypes a lot.

If you know, the first thing I guess I always dive into is the archetype of the clients.

Because you need to know, are they kinesthetic?

Are they audio?

Digital, Are they audio or are they verbal?

Because depending on which they are, how you talk to them and how you deliver content them makes a difference.

Kinesthetic people that are very slow, they're very.

And they're very touchy feely.

If you talk at the speed that I'm talking right now they'd be like totally tuned out.

They'd be like, what the hell just happens?

Right?

Versus if I talk to auditory, they're going to be loving this because they love the auditory pace.

Right.

You talked to someone that's audio, digital.

And it's very fascinating because when you ask them a question, their eyes go up for them to retrieve the answer and then they come back to an answer.

So there's kind of like a lag in communication.

Isn't that what they say?

Like if you look up to the right, you're retrieving and if you look up to the left, you're creating.

Yes.

So I thought, yeah, stuff like that.

It's all neuro, linguistics, programming.

And so the first thing I dive into is literally diving into what the archetype of that person is.

So then I can build and tailor around that.

I was going to ask you, I was going to ask you to expand on the word archetype because a lot of people are, oh yeah, they're like.

What am I talking about?

So an archetype is, for example, let's take fairy tales.

We got elves, we got dwarves, you know, we got fairies, we got nymphs.

Well, even oafs.

If you look at a guy that's really big and they tend to eat Viking style, they tend to be an oaf.

You can be walking down the street, you see people with pointy ears.

They're definitely other pixies of their tiny, like a size 0 or they're just regular, regular kind of not thin thin, but just normal size that tend to be.

Not dwarfs but.

Well, some of them can be.

But just they're all different energies.

Angels, which are the caretakers, healers of the world, tend to have roundish faces.

They carry a little bit of weight around their belly because that water weight is what helps them tune into the frequencies.

So archetypes is like fairy tales.

It's like you think fairy tales are non existent, but they're not.

They're really.

For example, fairies and nymphs love water and flowers.

That's why you always see the fairies.

And they tend to be blonde, I don't know why.

And we call them airy fairy because they're up in air element, they're flitting around.

Right.

I mean these things, although we think they're non existent or fairy tales are literally characters that we are.

Yeah.

So can you tell by looking at some or do you have to ask questions?

Oh, I do.

I, I look at a picture, I ask them some questions.

But for the most part.

If I look at someone, I can kind of tell, like, you know, what am I?

You have angel.

That's the round one with the big belly.

No, not that necessarily.

Big belly.

This means it's a barrier of water which helps conduit the energy so they can hear.

Some of them need.

Some of them that are.

Are auditory intuits.

They need to be able to hear with the frequency.

And that water in your stomach, that buffer, whatever as they will, helps them tune into the frequencies more.

But you have.

And, but angels are like the caretakers, the healers, the teachers of the world.

And you have a lot of angel energy.

Yeah, I was gonna say.

I was just thinking when you were talking about the archetypes, I was remembering when I taught first grade and I would always.

And they would say to me, Mrs. Vincent, why do you have to show us?

Like, why don't.

Why do you just.

Why don't you just tell us?

Or why do you just write it on the board?

You always have to get out a model.

You always have to do things with toys.

And I'm like.

Because some people learn with their hands, some people learn with their eyes, some people, you know.

And I used to explain that's what made me think of.

And yeah, I'm like, there's different kinds of learners.

And that sounds like the archetype of.

But in the.

It's another layer of architecture.

It is.

I mean, an archetype is multiple layers of archetypes.

So the first archetype would be, what are you?

Kinesthetic, auditor or auditory?

Audio, digital or visual?

And then the second archetype would be, what category of archetypes are they in?

The angels?

Are they a star?

Are they a walk in?

Are they, you know, pixies, fairies and whatnot?

So it's just.

And all those people have different characteristics.

The dwarves and the elves.

When the pointy ears.

I couldn't think of the name of the moment.

I was trying to say it's elves.

They're.

They.

They definitely have very prankst energy.

They're pranksters.

You look at the.

The, you know, they always show the little.

The little elf at the end of the rainbow, the gold pot.

You know, you see the little cartoons about that.

You'll see they're always playing pranks.

So that's what I'm saying.

And every.

So if every archetype has characteristics about them.

Interesting.

So do you do human design too?

In.

Into.

It is.

Yeah, human design.

It's like a big blueprint, but it starts with the Basics and it builds on archetypes and goes into human design.

Very interesting.

Well, this has been fun like that.

I learned a whole bunch.

That's fun to me.

See, you stop learning, you stop growing.

But so tell people you talked a little bit about your business and how it kind of works, how you get people started, how or where is the best place for them to reach you?

Yeah.

So yeah.

Is you can google me, Carly Lissa Thorne, you can go to my website, carly a thorn.com carlylissathorne.com also goes to the website.

But if you google me, I'm all over the place, like literally.

So, yeah, it's just Carly C A R L Y Alyssa A L Y S S A and Thorne T H O rne.

Perfect.

And I will have all that in the show notes so people can just click.

If you're driving, don't try to stop and write this down.

Just keep going and listen and come back and look at the show notes later.

Thank you so much for coming, Carly.

I really appreciate you.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

It was so much fun.

Thank you.

And before you go, I want you to give the listeners one last piece of wisdom from Carly Alyssa Thorne.

One last piece of wisdom is I'm going to go back to do it, delete it, or delegate it.

It's such an important piece because you need to have time on your hands to do the things that you really need to do.

So if, if you have someone else that can do it, you can hire an intern in the Philippines or someone here in America and you can find people at decent rates.

And if not, if it's something that you really want to do, then just do it.

And if it's something that you realize this just no longer gives you happiness or gives you any sort of zest for life, get rid of it, delete it.

It's the same thing about giving away things.

You got three piles.

Keep, donate, throw away.

Yep.

Same price.

Yeah, I love that.

And it puts it in such a simplified.

Like there's no.

It's like those non negotiables.

Exactly.

I love this.

No, get rid of it.

If someone else can't do it, get rid of it.

So it makes it, it puts it into perspective of how to.

I mean, what a mind cluttering ask.

I mean, just going through your.

I know right now people are laying down with their list of 20, 26 stuff to do and they're overwhelmed.

Yeah, exactly.

They are.

They need to break it apart, put it into categories, make lists, break it down so you're not overwhelmed.

Sounds good.

Well, that's great advice.

So thank you again so much for coming, Carly, and for everybody else out there listening.

You heard it.

Either do it, delegate it, or delete it and make your life a little simpler.

We'll see you back next week.

Thanks.