Do you ever stop and think who your parents are actually taking their advice from?

• Your parents likely have a very long relationship with their advisor (02:36)
• They may not be used to asking 'why' based questions (03:01)
• Respectfully ask thought provoking questions (04:10)

Quote for the episode: "The goal is to have them think and evaluate and ask your opinion, if they want to, as needed."

Securities offered through TFS Securities, Inc., Advisory Services through TFS Advisory Services, a SEC Registered Investment Advisor Member FINRA / SIPC. TFS Securities, Inc. located at 437 Newman Springs Road, Lincroft, NJ 07738 (732) 758-9300.

Welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

podcast, the only podcast dedicated to making life more

enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

that tend to weigh on us, stress us out and distract our focus

from simply enjoying life.

Hello and welcome to the second episode of the

"Your Parent's Money Mindset" series. Last episode, we covered

how to start having a conversation with your parents

about money. And today we're going to start talking about who

they are likely talking to and taking their advice from now and

how. So today, we're going to cover what you need to know

about how your parents have likely made decisions up to this

point. And what you can do to be respectful of where they are

now, while you know at the same time raising some other points

of view for them to at least consider.

There comes a point where you grow up enough. Probably as it

was for me, once I had my first job working at CVS, where you

kind of see how hard it is to make money. I worked for a

couple weeks, and after all the taxes and fica and all that kind

of stuff, I got a check that I was less than enthused with- my

minimum wage salary. So when you go to the supermarket, for me at

least, I started to see some of the prices a little bit

differently because I now had somewhat of a base, or a

foundation, for how hard it was to actually make money. Previous

to this moment, I, and maybe you, probably just threw things

into the cart, and mom paid for it, right? I remember my first

trip to the grocery store with my mom under this new lens, so

to speak. We are in the dish soap aisle, and she reached over

and grabbed a bottle of Dawn. Right next to it was a bottle of

discounted dish soap that was half the price. And so I said,

"Mom, you know, let's just get this one. It's much cheaper, I'm

sure it cleans plates, it's probably fine." But she would

have none of it. She liked Dawn, she always had Dawn, this was

her soap. And I remember actually leaving the supermarket

a bit heated, as it just seemed so nonsensical, irrational to me

to pay more for the same kind of product to clean your plates.

So what you need to know is that we all have very strong ties to

certain products. And that goes for certain people too. Now a

quick aside, before I kind of finish this transition, I have

to admit that I do myself now buy Dawn. I don't know how much

better it works than the other guys, but it reminds me of

growing up and my mom always had it. So you know, there you go,

they reeled me in too.

Anyway- you can see the point. And if you think about it, I'm

sure you have associations yourself that are very

ingrained. If your parents do use some kind of an advisor,

they likely have been with them for a long time at this point,

and are very, very trusting of them. Which in and of itself is

not a problem. If you are still using someone that you don't

trust, you know, what are you doing, right? But the difference

that I have seen over my 13 plus years as an advisor, is that

generationally how you get there is very different. For our

clients that are in their 50's 60's 70s, we tend to get a lot

less probing questions. It's more of a you know, "You're the

advisor, the expert, so you tell me what to do, and you know,

I'll do it" kind of a thing. It's honestly very easy to work

with, and we were always doing what's in their best interest

anyway. But you know, there's a lot of different advisors out

there. What I love about younger clients in their 30s, though, is

that we do get more questions, which may seem odd at first. But

you know, why do you recommend this? Well, how does that work

exactly? What other things should we be aware of? If this

was your situation, would you be doing the same thing? So not

questions that are necessarily skeptical or argumentative, but

rather really good questions to fully understand the 'why'

behind anything we recommend, which is really fantastic. You

should fully understand the why before you take action.

So what you can do is again, respectfully, if you have opened

the lines of communication so to speak for financial type items

as we described in that last episode, you can then progress

into some of these why questions to maybe have them more fully

evaluate their positions. So here you can lead into questions

such as- how confident were you that you could retire? When they

did their kind of evaluation, what did they assume for

longevity? How long did they assume you were even going to

kind of live for, to not outlast your money? You have annuities,

you know, do you know how they work exactly? Do they guarantee

money for both of you? Does the remainder go to the kids? Does

it go to the insurance company? When did you last review your

beneficiaries? Do you have contingents or backups listed?

If something were to happen to me, you know, would the money go

to my children, or would it go, you know, to my siblings? Do you

know which pieces of what you have transfer directly to your

beneficiaries, versus the items that have to go through your

will? As a quick aside, it's a lot of them. Any retirement

accounts, or any directly titled like TOD beneficiary accounts.

If they have multiple advisors, why do you have your money kind

of spread out with all these different people? If they don't

know what other pieces of your situation are out there, isn't

it kind of hard for them to know everything they have to to make

sure they're giving you good advice for your overall

situation? So you obviously don't want to ask all these

questions at the same time in repetition. And overall, you

know, if you don't know the possible answers to these

questions either, that's okay. So we're going to cover them

later in this series, but I think you can sense the weight

some of them hold.

Shouldn't you know the longevity assumptions that were used at

any evaluation done? If you have annuities, shouldn't you know

how they work, and who they might ultimately go to?

Shouldn't you know if your beneficiaries are correct? And

what assets you have would actually go through your will,

and what assets wouldn't? Now these are all, as far as I'm

concerned, rhetorical questions. The answer is yes, yes, yes. But

this is just a great starting piece for taking that next step,

to really have them start thinking. So the first set of

questions from the last episode, were building that bridge. Now

that the bridge is, you know, structured to some degree, ask

them questions for them to kind of think about and evaluate- do

I really know everything that I should about how I'm organized?

So a quick recap of today is- don't underestimate the trust

your parents likely have in w oever they're working with. T

ey likely have a very, very l ng relationship with them at t

is point. Secondly- is while y u may be used to asking why b

sed questions, your parents m y not be. They didn't grow up w

th the internet to, you know, f ct check or self research e

erything. If the professional s id it was this way, then a lot o

times you kind of just went w th it. Lastly- if you are able t

ask some of these more t ought provoking questions, p

ease be respectful. Again, the g al is to have them think and e

aluate and ask your opinion, if hey want to, as needed. The

quickest way I guarantee you to get shut out is to go up and

have them have their kid preach down to them- so try to a

oid that.

As always, thanks for tuning in today. If you are able to

implement what we cover, then that is just fantastic as

lways. You now have less to orry about than before and can

ocus more on enjoying life. If ou're wanting help with these

hings, though, or have uestions you need to help and

larify, check out the 'Ask Joe' ection on the show's website-

ww . enjoy more 30s .com, hat's enjoy more three zero s

com. If you enjoyed this pisode, please make sure to

ubscribe and review us on Apple odcasts or wherever you listen.

here are literally millions of oung American families out

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ext episode is "What About Mom? urviving Spouse = CFO", where

e're going to cover how a urvivor spouse, statistically

enerally the wife, have not istorically always been in the

oop with the finances, yet ar often thrust into this role and

of course, what you can do abou helping them in that dynamic. S

until next week, thanks fo joining me today and I loo

forward to connecting with yo again soon

The conversations on this show are

Joe's opinions and provided for general information purposes

only. They do not constitute accounting, legal tax or other

professional advice for your specific situation. You should

always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

any content or information found here first. Joseph is affiliated

with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

of TFS securities Inc. and TFS advisory services, an SEC

registered investment advisor member FINRA/SIPC.