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Your Parents Trust Their Advisor | Series 3.2
Episode 224th May 2021 • Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance • Joseph P. Okaly
00:00:00 00:09:12

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Do you ever stop and think who your parents are actually taking their advice from?

  • Your parents likely have a very long relationship with their advisor (02:36)
  • They may not be used to asking 'why' based questions (03:01)
  • Respectfully ask thought provoking questions (04:10)

Quote for the episode: "The goal is to have them think and evaluate and ask your opinion, if they want to, as needed."

Securities offered through TFS Securities, Inc., Advisory Services through TFS Advisory Services, a SEC Registered Investment Advisor Member FINRA / SIPC. TFS Securities, Inc. located at 437 Newman Springs Road, Lincroft, NJ 07738 (732) 758-9300.

Transcripts

Voiceover Audio:

Welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

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podcast, the only podcast dedicated to making life more

Voiceover Audio:

enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

Voiceover Audio:

that tend to weigh on us, stress us out and distract our focus

Voiceover Audio:

from simply enjoying life.

Joseph Okaly:

Hello and welcome to the second episode of the

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"Your Parent's Money Mindset" series. Last episode, we covered

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how to start having a conversation with your parents

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about money. And today we're going to start talking about who

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they are likely talking to and taking their advice from now and

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how. So today, we're going to cover what you need to know

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about how your parents have likely made decisions up to this

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point. And what you can do to be respectful of where they are

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now, while you know at the same time raising some other points

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of view for them to at least consider.

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There comes a point where you grow up enough. Probably as it

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was for me, once I had my first job working at CVS, where you

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kind of see how hard it is to make money. I worked for a

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couple weeks, and after all the taxes and fica and all that kind

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of stuff, I got a check that I was less than enthused with- my

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minimum wage salary. So when you go to the supermarket, for me at

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least, I started to see some of the prices a little bit

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differently because I now had somewhat of a base, or a

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foundation, for how hard it was to actually make money. Previous

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to this moment, I, and maybe you, probably just threw things

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into the cart, and mom paid for it, right? I remember my first

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trip to the grocery store with my mom under this new lens, so

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to speak. We are in the dish soap aisle, and she reached over

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and grabbed a bottle of Dawn. Right next to it was a bottle of

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discounted dish soap that was half the price. And so I said,

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"Mom, you know, let's just get this one. It's much cheaper, I'm

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sure it cleans plates, it's probably fine." But she would

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have none of it. She liked Dawn, she always had Dawn, this was

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her soap. And I remember actually leaving the supermarket

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a bit heated, as it just seemed so nonsensical, irrational to me

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to pay more for the same kind of product to clean your plates.

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So what you need to know is that we all have very strong ties to

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certain products. And that goes for certain people too. Now a

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quick aside, before I kind of finish this transition, I have

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to admit that I do myself now buy Dawn. I don't know how much

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better it works than the other guys, but it reminds me of

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growing up and my mom always had it. So you know, there you go,

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they reeled me in too.

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Anyway- you can see the point. And if you think about it, I'm

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sure you have associations yourself that are very

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ingrained. If your parents do use some kind of an advisor,

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they likely have been with them for a long time at this point,

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and are very, very trusting of them. Which in and of itself is

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not a problem. If you are still using someone that you don't

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trust, you know, what are you doing, right? But the difference

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that I have seen over my 13 plus years as an advisor, is that

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generationally how you get there is very different. For our

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clients that are in their 50's 60's 70s, we tend to get a lot

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less probing questions. It's more of a you know, "You're the

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advisor, the expert, so you tell me what to do, and you know,

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I'll do it" kind of a thing. It's honestly very easy to work

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with, and we were always doing what's in their best interest

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anyway. But you know, there's a lot of different advisors out

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there. What I love about younger clients in their 30s, though, is

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that we do get more questions, which may seem odd at first. But

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you know, why do you recommend this? Well, how does that work

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exactly? What other things should we be aware of? If this

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was your situation, would you be doing the same thing? So not

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questions that are necessarily skeptical or argumentative, but

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rather really good questions to fully understand the 'why'

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behind anything we recommend, which is really fantastic. You

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should fully understand the why before you take action.

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So what you can do is again, respectfully, if you have opened

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the lines of communication so to speak for financial type items

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as we described in that last episode, you can then progress

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into some of these why questions to maybe have them more fully

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evaluate their positions. So here you can lead into questions

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such as- how confident were you that you could retire? When they

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did their kind of evaluation, what did they assume for

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longevity? How long did they assume you were even going to

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kind of live for, to not outlast your money? You have annuities,

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you know, do you know how they work exactly? Do they guarantee

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money for both of you? Does the remainder go to the kids? Does

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it go to the insurance company? When did you last review your

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beneficiaries? Do you have contingents or backups listed?

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If something were to happen to me, you know, would the money go

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to my children, or would it go, you know, to my siblings? Do you

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know which pieces of what you have transfer directly to your

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beneficiaries, versus the items that have to go through your

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will? As a quick aside, it's a lot of them. Any retirement

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accounts, or any directly titled like TOD beneficiary accounts.

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If they have multiple advisors, why do you have your money kind

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of spread out with all these different people? If they don't

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know what other pieces of your situation are out there, isn't

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it kind of hard for them to know everything they have to to make

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sure they're giving you good advice for your overall

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situation? So you obviously don't want to ask all these

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questions at the same time in repetition. And overall, you

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know, if you don't know the possible answers to these

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questions either, that's okay. So we're going to cover them

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later in this series, but I think you can sense the weight

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some of them hold.

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Shouldn't you know the longevity assumptions that were used at

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any evaluation done? If you have annuities, shouldn't you know

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how they work, and who they might ultimately go to?

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Shouldn't you know if your beneficiaries are correct? And

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what assets you have would actually go through your will,

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and what assets wouldn't? Now these are all, as far as I'm

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concerned, rhetorical questions. The answer is yes, yes, yes. But

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this is just a great starting piece for taking that next step,

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to really have them start thinking. So the first set of

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questions from the last episode, were building that bridge. Now

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that the bridge is, you know, structured to some degree, ask

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them questions for them to kind of think about and evaluate- do

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I really know everything that I should about how I'm organized?

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So a quick recap of today is- don't underestimate the trust

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your parents likely have in w oever they're working with. T

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ey likely have a very, very l ng relationship with them at t

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is point. Secondly- is while y u may be used to asking why b

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sed questions, your parents m y not be. They didn't grow up w

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th the internet to, you know, f ct check or self research e

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erything. If the professional s id it was this way, then a lot o

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times you kind of just went w th it. Lastly- if you are able t

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ask some of these more t ought provoking questions, p

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ease be respectful. Again, the g al is to have them think and e

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aluate and ask your opinion, if hey want to, as needed. The

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quickest way I guarantee you to get shut out is to go up and

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have them have their kid preach down to them- so try to a

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oid that.

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As always, thanks for tuning in today. If you are able to

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implement what we cover, then that is just fantastic as

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lways. You now have less to orry about than before and can

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ocus more on enjoying life. If ou're wanting help with these

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hings, though, or have uestions you need to help and

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larify, check out the 'Ask Joe' ection on the show's website-

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ww . enjoy more 30s .com, hat's enjoy more three zero s

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com. If you enjoyed this pisode, please make sure to

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ubscribe and review us on Apple odcasts or wherever you listen.

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here are literally millions of oung American families out

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here I'm trying to reach and elp just like you. Taking two

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econds to write a review, tap a tar makes a big difference. The

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ext episode is "What About Mom? urviving Spouse = CFO", where

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e're going to cover how a urvivor spouse, statistically

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enerally the wife, have not istorically always been in the

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oop with the finances, yet ar often thrust into this role and

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of course, what you can do abou helping them in that dynamic. S

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until next week, thanks fo joining me today and I loo

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forward to connecting with yo again soon

Voiceover Audio:

The conversations on this show are

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Joe's opinions and provided for general information purposes

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only. They do not constitute accounting, legal tax or other

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professional advice for your specific situation. You should

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always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

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accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

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any content or information found here first. Joseph is affiliated

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with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

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of TFS securities Inc. and TFS advisory services, an SEC

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registered investment advisor member FINRA/SIPC.

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