We have joined with other family members who have paid the price for society's failure to act and we pour out our pain to demand action. -Amy Cohen

In today’s episode of The Uplifters Podcast Amy Cohen, co-founder of Families for Safe Streets, shares her journey from motherhood to advocacy after her son Sammy was killed in a traffic incident. 

As I prepared for this episode, I had to confront the fact that the fear of my children being hit by a car is one of my biggest worries as a parent. I was struck by a car when I was 6 years old and only barely survived. It had long-term effects on my sense of safety out in the world. I’m now raising two daughters who set off on foot into some of the most dangerous intersections in America (and maybe the world) every single day to get to school.

Just a few blocks from us a 7-year-old from our school community was struck and killed in a traffic accident late last year.  Recent research by Families for Safe Streets showed that one in three New Yorkers has been personally impacted by traffic violence, or knows someone who has. Amy and her team of families who have been impacted by traffic tragedies are facing this crisis head-on by pouring out their pain to create change, so that we can all move through our streets more safely, in NYC and across America.

Takeaways

• American streets are twice as dangerous as Canada, four times as dangerous as almost every European country, Australia, Japan, and much of Asia. 
• Traffic violence is a preventable crisis that requires legislative and policy changes to improve road safety.
• Advocacy and support groups like Families for Safe Streets play a crucial role in raising awareness and demanding action.
• Personal stories and connections can amplify the impact of advocacy efforts and drive change.
• Self-care is essential for individuals engaged in emotionally heavy work, and support from others is invaluable.

Please join me in taking action to support Sammy’s Law and Families for Safe Streets.

After you listen, grab your ticket 🎟️ for Uplifters Live on May 17, where you’ll meet 33 of the inspiring Uplifters Ambassadors that you’ve heard on our podcast! Learn all about this one-day in-person gathering for creative growth and collaboration HERE.

Follow our show at www.theuplifterspodcast.com.

Welcome to the Uplifters podcast. Today I am joined by Amy Cohen, who helped found the advocacy and support group Families for Safe Streets after her 12-year-old son Sammy was killed in 2013. as I was preparing for this episode,I had to sort of confront the fact that safe streets and fear of my children being hit by a car is probably my biggest fear as a parent. I've raised two daughters or I'm raising two daughters or at this point now where they feel

so grown up and yet they are still just little girls. And I send them out into the giant messy streets of New York City every day wondering if they'll be okay. as I've learned about Amy's work, what I've learned is that it largely focuses on how to make our streets safer overall in New York City and beyond, so that our children can safely navigate the world. And this is for me personally, not just as a mother or something that I've experienced firsthand. I was...

crossing a street to go get milk while visiting my father when I was six years old. And I looked both ways like I had been taught to do, but there was a curve. And a woman came around the corner and ran over me I spent many months in a cast and many years gaining the confidence to cross the street again and feeling safe in the world again. And so I bring all of that into how I raise my daughters and my own fears and worries for their safety as they navigate the streets of New York. so...

Amy, as we talk about this, I just want to express how deeply grateful to you I am as a human and as a mother for this work that you're doing, and how deeply sorry I am that you ended up in this position of having to journey from motherhood to advocacy. thank you for being here.

Thank you, thank you so much for having me and thank you for sharing your story. we did a study recently, we found that one in three New Yorkers knows someone or has been personally impacted by traffic violence. This is a crisis on our streets and it's a preventable crisis and it's not something I knew anything about before it happened to me.

Yeah.

You know, my son was 12 years old. He was bright, kind, street savvy. He was an athlete, a musician. He knew how to get around our neighborhood. Like many New York kids,starting in fifth grade, his elementary school. Let the kids, they have an open campus for lunch, and they could go out to lunch and cross the street. They wanted to train our children young, and so did I.

put his books down, just had to cross the street in front of our home for soccer practice. And you know, that should not have to be a deadly act. until it happened to me, I had no idea of the scale or the fact that it was preventable. Now, when we look at how we do as a city and as a nation compared to nearly every other industrialized country, we are at the bottom of the list.

We are twice as dangerous as Canada, four times as dangerous as almost every European country, Australia, Japan, much of Asia. It's just unconscionable when the solutions are there that we can't easily get our leaders to put them in place. And instead what we have done is we have joined with other family members who have paid the price for society's failure to act and we...

I don't think a human can live with this much pain for 10 years. Like I won't be alive to see it happen if that's how long it's going to take. But it didn't. We combined our stories with data to show that, you know, lower speed limits work and we passed the bill in one legislative session.

Amazing. They didn't know they were facing moms. And dads.

Yeah.

moms and dads and people who'd lost their brothers and sisters and parents and, you know, spouses have been seriously injured, suffered, traumatic brain injuries can never work again. our members have faced the unimaginable. But we banded together.. We have a dual mission to confront the preventable epidemic of traffic violence through advocacy and support.

We have a range of support services because in addition to fighting for change, we believe strongly that no one should have to endure this alone. And as we had success in New York, we had others saying, wow, we want a chapter of families for safe streets too. So we now have 20 chapters across the country. And we also have individual advocates. We call ambassadors fighting for change in their community where they do not yet have a chapter.

So it is a burgeoning national movement of people pushing back who share their stories and say what happened to me was Preventable and it should not happen again, there are systemic changes around, slower speed limits Safe roadway design designing the road in a way that encourages people to follow the speed limit to turn carefully

to have visibility at intersections,, in cities like New York, that they can see what's around the corner before they turn. There are all these technical street design measures, and then there's a lot we can do to our vehicles to make them safer. Instead, we've been moving in the wrong direction, and our vehicles have been getting bigger and bigger and bigger. So we fight for these changes. We don't take no for an answer, and we're currently in the midst of a fight for a bill named after my son.

It is horrifically, you know, three and a half year fight so far. We have been fighting for a bill called Sammy's Law., it would enable New York city to have control over its speed limits and to lower it to as low as 20 miles per hour on residential streets. You'd think that's a simple why, you know, I grew up in upstate New York. why should people in upstate New York right now, it's the state who is deciding,? People in.

Rochester and Albany and Syracuse are saying what the speed limits should be in New York. I mean, it's insane This is a simple no-nonsense measure that's been done in Portland For example where it dramatically reduced people being killed and injured like it's a simple thing It should not take three and a half years and yet here we are You know, we were very close at the end of last session

The bill was included last year in the executive budget and the Senate budget. So we tried to pass it as part of the budget process. And they said, no, you have to wait till the legislative part of the session when bills are decided. And it passed the Senate easily. And we, built so much support in the assembly., we easily had the votes to pass the bill.

we built a coalition of supporters of organizations supporting the measure, including unions and hospitals and schools and tenants associations and civic organizations. The last few days of session, they still were not saying they would bring it to a vote. So I went on a four and a half day hunger strike. With others who had lost their children and horrifically the session ended and they still did not bring it for a vote.

Oh my gosh.

What is the resistance?

there are people who live in districts where people like to drive, and they just don't recognize the severity and scale of this crisis and how easily this change could save lives. So we are much closer this year. We are optimistic. We have only until the end of March for the budget session.

to include it in the budget and we are pushing really hard.. So you're talking to people about your story.

And every one of the people you're talking to has been a child or has a child. And or has a child. And yet somehow there's a, I guess a need for freedom and control that is stopping progress. I don't, I just, I can't get my head around it.

with anything people like to deny that it could ever happen to them, right? That's why we still call them accidents, right? we think, oh, it's just an oops, my family is safe. I thought that I could create an invisible shield around my children too. Doesn't everybody wish that they could do that? I grew up in upstate New York where young people start driving at,, way too young of an age.

Yeah.

site.

and I grew up in a suburban high school., kids drove to school and several years of my high school career, one of my classmates died in a traffic crash. And when I graduated college and got an opportunity to live in New York,

One of the reasons I stayed as I had children was I thought, oh, thank goodness, my children will not be driving. I have this shield I am going to put around my children. I am not going to let them drive. I'm going to keep them safe. Isn't it great that they can walk and ride their bikes and take the train everywhere they need to go?

to drive.

And I think many of our elected officials, until we push back with our message of, right, confront, we are willing to confront that complacency and push hard until change happens. And this change will happen, but it should not take this long. And it is because it takes this long for every change, for every lower speed limit, for every fixing of dangerous roadway, that every change takes so long.

That's why we are performing so abysmally compared to other countries.

Mm-hmm. And how do you measure success of the work that you all do?

I mean, every legislative and policy change is a victory. Every inch we get closer to reducing the number of people killed and injured in our roads until we achieve what is known as Vision Zero. It is a goal to eliminate all traffic fatalities on our roads in New York, across the state and across the country. And we know it's actually an achievable goal. There are cities in Europe.

who've had years of zero traffic deaths. There are cities just across the river from us in New York who have had no deaths. So we know this can be done. We just need to harness that political will to make it happen. We need to share the data that it works, amplify it with the stories and band together with people who've been impacted, to join us and demand change.

that's such an important point that you're making there, Amy, that evidence exists that change is possible. Because I do think, like so many of the biggest, hairiest issues in our society, we can feel so overwhelmed by the scale of them that they feel almost impossible to solve. And so we revert back to our old behaviors and just plug our ears and eyes and hope things won't happen to us personally. And yet, I think,

what we have to do is to amplify our sense of belief that our work can matter and can make a difference. And I imagine for you as a mom in that moment after losing Sammy and sorting through what to do with this awful tragedy and this massive loss, you were somehow able to connect with other people. what was that journey like for you?

, just days after Sammy died, my husband reminded me that,, we had been to London on a vacation just before, Sammy died in October. it was a big trip. We traveled around biking and different things, but we also stayed in a residential neighborhood in London, and they had just brought Vision Zero to London and there were signs everywhere.

They had street traffic calming measures. And Gary said to me soon after Sammy died, if only this had been London, Sammy would still be alive.? The slower speed limit, a safer roadway design, avert crashes because people have more time to stop. They're going slower. If they do hit someone, they're more likely to survive. And truthfully, I had no thought in my mind that I would help launch a national.

Mm-hmm.

victim survivor led movement demanding change around traffic violence when this happened. Really, I just had so much pain and so much heartache and it had to go somewhere or else it probably would have eaten me alive. So I started speaking out. Ironically, there was a hearing just three weeks after Sammy died from the New York City council saying, should we try to lower our speed limit?

Ironically, they had no idea they didn't have the control to do it. But our city councilman's son and my son were friends. And so I reached out and I said, My husband saw this thing about a hearing. Can we maybe come and testify? My daughter agreed to do it also. They usually have the agency folks speak first,, the Department of Transportation or whoever.

and instead they let us go first um you know and we poured on our hearts and there was not a dry eye in the room and I think that was the start of people recognizing wow you give it a face of the crisis it really can amplify the kinds of changes many advocates have been asking for years you know transportation alternatives in New York City have been fighting for street safety now it's 50 years but by adding our voices to the mix it really

does make a difference. And so,, that was the impetus of our first speaking out., joining with others was also a lifesaver. One of the reasons we codified and formalized our support services, because we realized early on how much informal support we were providing to one another. I met another family who lost their three-year-old daughter only two days before Sammy was killed. We met probably a week after our children had died.

And,, it was an incredibly supportive opportunity. We joined with other families and,, that was the germination of where we are today.

Wow. So talk to me about the support that Families for Safe Streets provides.

Anybody who has been personally impacted by a crash, suffered a loss or a serious injury from New York or across the country, we provide a range of support services. We have a peer mentoring program where we train people who are farther along on this journey. They are not therapists. It's not,, a clinical service.

But there is nothing like having the ability to lean on someone who's experienced something very similar, right? So we'll match people up of the same age or in the same part of the country or the same type of loss or the same type of injury just to have someone to listen to, someone you can talk to who can listen to you. So.

That's a big component of our program. We also have virtual support community gatherings in English and Spanish every month. We bring in guests, everything from writing poetry to share your trauma and pain to sound bath and you know all kinds of interactive healing modalities just to help people along this journey.

And we also provide some logistical assistance, the worst thing possible has ever happened to you. And also, then you're also caught in a morass of civil, criminal, police, health insurance, like you're at your worst and you somehow have to navigate all these things that are coming at you. So we have.

Resource guides online, very detailed, many, many pages in multiple languages, helping people. And we have case managers who will walk them through those logistics.

Wow, how thoughtful your approach is. And it strikes me that the mostmeaningful responses in all facets of our lives come from people who have been there. And so it's you understanding what a person who's healing needs.

both in terms of advocacy and support, which I imagine are both powerfully healing.

Yeah, we are ironically currently part of a research project with an academic who is studying people who turn pain into purpose from many different fields,, mothers from South America,, whose children disappeared to us and other organizations., her data is finding that,, it is incredibly helpful., as I said before, like

We all feel the pain, we all experience it in different ways, but keeping it inside,, a lot of studies show that is not helpful. And,, for me, sharing my story is the way I describe it as like titrating the pain. It's there anyway, people feel bad, oh, or putting you through that, it's like, well, I am leaving this anyway, at least I know what I'm letting out the pain it is in a productive way.

Yes, yes. And, and, and whole, somebody said on a recent episode about death and loss, she said, ask people about the people who are gone. Because you're not reminding them that person is gone. They remember.

It's not like we forget. That would be it.

No. And it's just creating space for us to be honest about what we're experiencing as human beings. And I agree with you that our stories hold real power. And I'm curious.

for you what your story was about yourself before this in terms of your role as a leader and a change maker in the world and how that shifted.

Well, I am ironically more of an introvert by nature. And before this happened, I worked as a manager of a large social service organization. So the support services piece of figuring out how to formalize that once I realized how helpful it was, was very important to me. But I was not a public speaker. I was not ever the sort of public face for the...

Mm-hmm.

, agency I worked for. And the irony is that,, Sammy was fearless. He really,, he wouldn't know what he wanted and he'd put his mind to it and, you know, nothing could stop him. t. He really wanted to be on one of the, travel, competitive,, team soccer's programs. And, you know, he had two working parents.

they travel, they practice all in other parts of the city., he was in like fifth grade and I just thought I don't think we can realistically make that work. And so for Hanukkah one year, that is fifth grade year, he said, I'll give up all my presents. I don't want anything else. All I want is to play, on a soccer, competitive soccer team, travel team.

Oh.

So I was like, all right, I guess we're gonna figure this out. We're gonna make it happen. He's very determined. So I was like, I found ar college student babysitter. And there was always problems with our schedule and our class and exam, but we always pieced it together. We were making it work. He started in January, he's playing through June and June comes around and it's two weeks before the end of this season. And the babysitter gets a full-time job and quits. And I was like, I can't believe it. We have two weeks left.

He's like, mom, I'm in fifth grade. I take the bus with her every day. I know how to go. There are other kids who get out. I don't really know them, but I can sit behind them. I'll sit behind the bus driver. I got this, don't worry. So when this happened and I realized it was important that someone stand up and speak out, I just channeled Sammy.

And I find the courage and here I am, speaking to you. I had never done anything like this before. He died.

We just never know what strength we hold. this idea of channeling strength from others, especially someone we've lost, is so profound. I think about our opportunity to create legacy out of loss. And certainly that's what you've done. And I...

I don't know if you ever sit and imagine all the little lives that have been saved. Because we can never know,? Every law that you've passed has saved a life or many lives. And the support that you've provided to these families has enriched lives.

And all that is because of Sammy and because you channeled his strength.

I know I'm not alone in doing this. Just before our session here today, I spent the morning with, you know, texting with one of our members who is at the White House as we speak. She lost four family members in a horrific crash in Philadelphia on

on a roadway called Roosevelt Boulevard, which is referred to like one of the ones in New York that we have as the Boulevard of Death because so many people die on Roosevelt Boulevard. It is 12 lanes and it just kept growing and growing but the things that were on each side remained. So there's public housing on one side, low-income housing on the other, families who are bisected by this roadway and Latonya Bird's niece was at a family barbecue.

that she had crossed the roadway for and the day ended and she had to go back across with her four children and she and three of the four children died, one survived. And Latonya, who also like me, said, you know,, I've never done anything like this before. How am I going to speak? You got this, Latonya. They invited her to speak at the White House today as part of the

Because of her advocacy, they received one of the federal bipartisan infrastructure law grants to fix Roosevelt Boulevard and redesign it for safety. So we do, we all channel those we love to rise to an occasion to do something we would never have imagined before.

Yes, go Latonya and the ripples again, it all carries forward. And so your point about pain having meaning as I think so much more far reaching than we in our little brains can conceive. And so I just keep saying it to remind us because I believe that

Every woman has this power and this strength within her, and each one of us has causes that we believe in, and yet we can feel paralyzed by the scale and size of the problem, I wonder what advice you have for people who see a problem.

and want to positively impact it.

Be determined and don't give up. There are often many different things that can be done to start chipping away at the problem. Traffic violence, sadly, will require many solutions until we achieve vision zero. I went back to the safe speed, safe roads, safe vehicles. Those are the three key pillars. But

doing one change in each of those one areas moves us closer to the goal. And you know, you just got to keep fighting. You just got to keep speaking out and demanding action and chip away at the problem until you achieve that ultimate goal.

get inside the issue instead of standing on the outside of it. And so we can't chip away at it by looking from the outside. We have to go figure out what those steps are. You're doing emotionally heavy work out there.

And I know you're presenting a lot of facts and figures and data to move these needles, but you're also putting a lot of emotion into your advocacy. How do you take care of yourself along the way, Amy?

We talk a lot about self care and families for safe streets for all of our members. It is so critical,, first and foremost, when we have people speak out, we make sure they are not going alone. They have someone, either another member, a staff member or a family or a friend, because,, we meet each other and we need to have someone to lean on in this work., and then there we just encourage people to rely on those simple things before and after to.

care of themselves,? So people always ask, well, what are your self-care things? Well, chocolate, a hot bath, or a walk outside,? It doesn't have to be a lot, but you really need to build in that time before or after,, an emotionally challenging experience to make sure we take care of ourselves.

, I think we have to remind ourselves again and again that self-care is other care. And that without that daily maintenance and care for ourselves, we are unable to do the work we need to do in the world. ing

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Well, across the country, even in places where we don't have to have it, we don't yet have chapter there are often local community groups that are fighting for safe streets. So your local bicycle pedestrian safety organization, call them, find out how you can get involved.

If you are in a community where there is a Families for Safe Streets chapter, please join them in their local activities. And you know, we are very present here in New York. You can check out our website. You know, support us financially. We welcome all assistance. We need all hands on deck. We need every skill and capacity and connection that folks have out there because

It will take a lot to really move the needle and achieve vision zero.

So Amy, what can we as a community do to support Families for Safe Streets and Vision Zero?

. Amy, thank you so much for all of the work that you're doing in the world. Thank you for reminding us that we all have this capacity to change our worlds by showing up for the problems and engaging in creating the solutions. And on a personal level.

Thank you for letting me rest a little easier, knowing that people are out there looking out for my daughters along with me and helping to create a better and safer world for them and future generations.

.

Thank you.

Uplifters, thank you for being here with us today. Let's keep rising higher together. And I'll see you in May at Uplifters Live.