Today's episode is all about something that hits close to home for many of us, especially during these chilly months—Winter Blues and Seasonal Nonsense! Yep, these are the days when it's darker than your coffee and your dopamine receptors seem to be away on winter vacation without you. You’re not alone- we're here to share our misadventures and triumphs in dealing with the winter funk.

Made even more unserious by the ADHD med shortage, we talk about the importance of self-care and mindfulness in maintaining mental health throughout winter months, and meander through stuffing waffles, bidets, and celebrity drama. Join us as we spill the tea on the things that work (running away, Vitamin D and twinkle lights), the stuff that's a total flop (you cannot spend your way out of depression), and everything in between. Spoiler alert: fuzzy socks and a sexy lil boo thing might make an appearance! We've got expert advice, relatable mom moments, and probably a few laughs at our own expense.

Topics this week include:

• The roller coaster of following Julia Fox 
• Vienna gets nosy about Crystal dating
• Setting boundaries with family
• The bisexual conundrum of never knowing when a woman likes us back
• The joy/hell of family photos
• Bidets and bougie toilets
• Byron Katie and the 3 kinds of business
• Vyvanse is on a manufacturer backorder and the ADHD is ADHDing
• Diddy + Celebrity Scandals and Victim Blaming
• Seasonal Affective Disorder and Winter Blues
• Coping with Winter Monotony
• Indoor kids stuff in the winter sucks
• Why does public transportation smell so awful in the winter?
• Running away from home 
• Unapologetically loving basic things
• Cuffing Season
• Eating good without shame
• The Joy of Winter Gift Giving

Shopping List:

• Electric Fireplace Log
• Energy Oracle deck
• Multipack of Popcorn Flavors
• Variety hot cocoa
• Best SAD Lamps

Relevant Links:

• Byron Katie Four Questions
• Does Julia Fox Hate Men?
• Jill Scott Tell Me What to Do
• Leon the Barber
• BANGnJEN Nails, Elkridge, Maryland
• Stuffing Waffles by Dan Pelosi
• Sean Combs is Accused by Cassie of Rape and Years of Abuse in Lawsuit
• SAD Lamps on Broad City
• Vitamin D and Iron Connection

Find Us:

• Healing Happy Hour on Instagram
• Healing Happy Hour on Patreon
• Healing Happy Hour on Facebook
• Crystal on Instagram
• Vienna on Instagram
• Healing Happy Hour

Music by FASSounds on Pixabay.

Like this is where we start

Okay.

The very important question, what do you think about Julia Fox?

I think that she's an oddball and an odd bird.

However, I like her now that she, outside of Kanye, I don't know what

was she was doing with Kanye and I also heard recently, and she's

like, we never even like had sex.

And I was like, why were you gallop dancing around behind this man?

That is clearly like, anyway.

I like some of the things she says.

I can't say I like her, but I like some of the things that she says.

She's not gonna all these notifications on her phone for men

to have all this access to her.

I'm like,

Mm-Hmm.

yes, bitch.

She does bring up, she brings up good points.

I,

I also was not the biggest fan with, in the Kanye era.

I was just like, it was confusing.

I didn't really understand.

It felt very

was being a raging anti-Semite

Yeah.

And there it felt gimmicky, but like, maybe like you hitched

your cart to the wrong wagon.

I don't know

Yeah.

I was a girl.

What are you doing here?

Why are you, why

are you in it?

I felt like there was a contract that was signed like too early on

and then he went off the deep end.

But like she still had, yeah, like she still had contractual obligations.

It didn't make sense.

But everything I hear from her lately, I'm like, I like the things she's saying.

I won't say everything 'cause I'm not hearing everything she's saying.

So like, maybe she's saying some real foolishness.

I don't know about that.

I loved when she did the lie detector test and they're like, do you hate men?

And she is like, well, you know, like da da da da.

And then like, the man is like, answer the question Juliette.

And like, yes, she hated men.

But to be fair, if a man had just directed me to answer

the question like that, I also

hate him too.

yeah, I'd be like, I fucking hate you.

Don't talk to me like that.

I'd be like, is the question,

do I want you to eat a dick?

Yes.

Like rude.

Like who, who are you?

Yeah, you're the, the,

hate men telling me to do shit.

Speaking of which, jill Scott, who's one of my favorite artists of all

time, I think she is one of the finest women I've ever seen in my life.

And I'm like, hell yes.

To like beautiful, curvy, gorgeous women from Philly.

Anyway, sorry, side tangent.

I went somewhere in my head.

Anyway, Jill Scott was giving this interview probably like on

the Breakfast Club or some other like, you know, morning show.

And I knew exactly what she meant because she said about like, in with

men, if you can't tell me what to do, you can't tell me what to do.

if you can tell me

what to do.

You can tell me what to do.

And I was like, yes.

Like that.

I knew exactly what she meant and I was like, yes.

Someone gets it.

Like

that should be the new national anthem.

I would also like Jill Scott to sing that.

Like I want, I would just, could you imagine

we

got a tag her

soul would sing that?

National Haughty anthem.

You can't tell me what to do if you can't tell me what to do.

Eh, yeah.

I would just get down to that.

Like I can get down to that in my head.

Mm-Hmm.

that's a good one.

I like that.

Mm-Hmm.

Um, we can cut this if you want to, but are you

only talking to guys right now?

we can cut this out.

I'm just being

You know what's so, no, it's fine.

It's fine.

You know what's so funny?

You were the third person to ask me that this week.

Even my therapist would be like, why are you not?

Two things.

I have no game with women and men are, men are like puppies.

You like wave a snack in

front of their

you don't care

Are obviously not like that.

I just feel like we, we require a very different set of things.

I don't know that I have any kind of game.

I don't think I do.

And also, I'm not gonna lie, women are difficult too.

I feel like it is a more difficult experience in that, my radar

on like how to read the signs.

I feel like I'm being flirted with or not is not great.

And so that is difficult

yeah,

Yeah.

that is very relatable.

And I also think like depending on what you want right now, like yes, of course

there are women who like also just wanna like mess around and have a good time.

My therapist was like, why are you not hooking up with women?

And I was like, truthfully, I don't know that I can do any more hooking up.

I'm a lover girl at heart.

So

like, you

know,

you're gonna like go out on the women's circuit and you're gonna

have a wife by the end of the week.

So

oh my God.

Right.

Girl, I'm, I'm, this, it is not my first rodeo.

I remember from the last

gonna have like, you're gonna have another woman living in your

The, the, the, we fell in love and then we broke up.

Was pretty much gist of that

relationship.

Yeah.

And moving and getting all invested.

That's a big expense.

I don't blame you.

I was just being nosy.

Living vicariously.

I don't know girl.

Although like sometimes I do get the urge to like, I'm like, I just

wanna like make out a little bit.

Like why can't I be like, do you wanna make out?

And then the thing is with women in person, I don't know that

I've been flirted with until like after I've been flirted

with, and then I'm like, man, fuck.

like

that that is the bisexual woman's dilemma, that you're just like

so oblivious to what women are doing.

You're like, oh my God, she was so nice and so pretty and

Literally me,

liked it when she held my hand and only she wants to

spend the rest of my life with me.

Oh wait, she didn't just wanna be friends.

My

when she told me, I was like, really pretty.

But like our eye contact lingered for longer than five seconds.

oh, I thought she was just maybe socially awkward.

No bitch.

She was flirting with you, but I don't like, think about it until

hours later and I'm like, oh, that

woman was so

nice.

And then I'm like, and I'm awkward.

When she, when she said she wanted to move in and be my

wife, I was like, oh my gosh.

A best friend.

it's

a new friend,

being my sexual is hard, uh,

We're so stupid.

We really

help me out.

Meet me at the bisexual countertop and Taco Bell.

Yes.

I like, I would need somebody to come to me and be like, I am this, I am

flirting with you now, now even then.

So

would, someone

my gosh, you're so sweet.

You're so cute and funny.

Like, you a

The classic girl.

Like, I love your hair.

Well, how are you?

How am I?

Oh my God, I'm really good

you seem so good.

You seem so

Like I was last time.

I've been doing a lot of clearing all week long, today I had like a really good

little morning cry not over anything bad.

It was like just me re remembering, some beautiful things about myself and like

some things about deservedness and.

It just happened to catch me in a moment.

So it's been a nice week of cultivating that.

And Thanksgiving was good.

Yeah.

Did you feel a whole lot of gratitude or was it just like,

I did when we sat down for dinner.

Yeah.

Yeah.

was too nervous.

Given that like my parents and I had been like a little like tense.

It felt like the first time it was not as tense.

And that's comforting in a way because it's like just helping me see that,

hey, some of the boundaries that I've set in place with them are

working because we can be around each other and have a pleasant time,

Because of those boundaries.

I'm trying to lean into that space.

Like try not to be upset over what you want it to look like

and it doesn't look like that.

And just be grateful for where you are.

Accept and appreciate like the reality of, of where things are.

So it was good

because of that

yay.

I'm so proud of you that you've done so much work over the

past several months, really.

I mean longer than that, but I feel like you've really been working on boundaries

and it's nice that they're paying off now.

I think

they are.

I feel like when you start talking boundaries, it's like, oh my

gosh, everyone's gonna be so mad at me.

Like this is gonna ruin all my relationships.

And then the reality is like, it actually improves relationships

because there's a lot less resentment there, but it takes time

you.

Ding dinging.

That was, that's the word.

That's the hot tea right there.

The boundaries will help like ease that resentment.

Truly.

People always think that the boundaries are for other people

when really it's for us, you know?

And

we all benefit from that.

Respect.

'cause like it is hard.

yeah, yeah, It's a challenge every time, but it's, and it's a practice.

Some weeks, I'm not gonna get it right by the way, but it's fine.

Your Thanksgiving, but also your photos

got our family photos back.

They were so cute.

It's kind.

Are you gonna send me an eight by 10 of your entire family

so I can wallpaper it in

my house?

Yes.

I'm gonna send you a full, one of every one of those 59 photos that

were sent to me in the gallery.

I'll send you one of each of them.

I love, I love family photos.

That is like, I will.

Go without meals because I'm like, I need our family pictures again this year.

I just love it so much.

And like in the moment I hate it.

I'm so stressed.

Every year I'm like, this is the most stressful day of my life.

And every year my photographer, like, we've been using the same person forever.

So she'll contact me to schedule them and it's like September we schedule these and

like every time we get to November and it is like, photos are today, I had no idea.

And it's weird 'cause we got into this moment that like on the way home Jimmy and

I were like, that was easier this year.

It wasn't as bad.

Like it feels like it's getting it easier, which is like, oh, that's awesome.

Like we're getting to this point with the kids.

But then it's also like, oh my God, like

There's something too about like being able to look through your

photos and see how like your kids like, 'cause I remember your photos

from like, when you first said Dominic

Oh, the

First of all, like you, you have such a beautiful and photogenic family.

You got, again,

like if you've, you've heard me say it before, people, but Vienna's kids

look like little Botticelli babies.

Like they are painted on the Sistine Chapel or randomly at a,

in a statue like around Jerome.

And have like lashes, eyes, cheeks, serving

Yeah, we all have the chubby cheeks.

Rosy, chubby cheeks, dimples.

We, yeah, we are abundant in chubby cheeks in this family.

You know, I love

me a

chubby cheek.

Yeah.

So they're adorable.

But also like if they're, the pictures always turn out in this

beautiful, like quintessential New England way and I'm like, eh, is

this what people in Boston are doing?

And I love it so much.

Um, because like normally

when I think Boston, I think like, um, red Sox and racism, Boston, but

I'm like, oh, but look at

my very lovely friend living on the coast,

Yeah.

Every time I get photos done, I'm just like, like, we'll be leaving

and be like, there is, there's no way she got one photo that was good

because like, who was screaming?

Like, who was this?

And like, every

year like, I don't know how you did that, but congratulations to you.

And this year leaving, I was like, oh my God.

Like I bet you got some good ones.

And I'm like, oh, how, how are my babies?

Like posing?

They were so well behaved.

This okay, this is also the trick because my plan when we were going

the photos was like, . If you all behave, I'm gonna let you get ice

cream before dinner on the way home.

Like, we're gonna eat ice cream on the way home.

Like that never happens.

big deal.

Right?

And Jimmy was like, don't even say it.

Here's what we're gonna do.

He told the kids, he said, you each get one thing you

can complain about this year.

You get one free complaint, use it wisely 'cause you only get one.

Those kids didn't complain.

Not even once.

Didn't wanna risk it.

Nate still will not wear pants with the button, does

not like things with buttons.

Not okay.

I pulled out a pair of pants that had a button on 'em and I was like, I

really would like you to wear these.

I think it's gonna look really nice.

And he goes, okay, but I can complain about one thing.

And I was like, yep.

And he took the pants and he was like, I'm not gonna use it on this.

I'm gonna save it.

I was like.

He didn't even, they didn't use him on anything and I

didn't even have to go to them.

Ice cream.

Then it means that they really actually enjoyed the experience

of just being with each other.

Ew,

Yuck.

Family

bonding.

what little

That's nasty.

That's nasty.

Gross.

One of the sweetest things in the world is like when you catch your

kids being really kind to each other or like just kind like, just those

sweetness and they're not like expecting to be observed or like they just

don't even know that you're watching.

I love when you catch them in these moments when they're just

being very sweet, very loving, very cute, and they're not even

expecting you to be watching them.

I love catching Enzo in those moments, especially because he's such a rotten,

um, but it just is like evidence of your good parenting, you know?

And evidence that , not all hope is lost.

Like, oh, you aren't little shits all the time.

Like actually most of the time you're not a little shit.

You just get to appreciate their sweetness in those moments.

I like it when they're sweet.

YEah, it definitely makes the rest of it a lot and then, let's

see, Thanksgiving was good.

We were at my in-law's vacation house all the way across

the state, three hour drive.

It was nice to come home.

I

I believe it.

It's nice to come home,

Did you have a lot of people, um, as guests or no?

No, no.

I think like everybody from this side of the state drove over there to

that side of the state . I was like, I'm glad we're all driving for this.

But yeah, it, uh, it was cute to see like Jimmy's grandmother is 96 years old.

She was there.

Uh,

Yeah.

And like just to see the boys how like sweet and like intuitively respectful

they are with her was like another little like pat on the back moment

that I was like, oh, look at them.

They're so sweet and respectful.

They like, were being so gentle when they were going to hug her to be like, let

me not like knock this old lady down.

It was just very, I was proud of them watching them.

I love that.

Yeah.

They were really cute.

Uh, yeah, and it's just like nice to see them with more extended family.

I love that.

And they're so sweet.

I bet you they were like eating them up

Oh.

Like, you know,

they, the kids know how to turn it on too.

Like they,

Oh man.

yeah.

Javi and Enzo, uh, bless her soul.

Titi Lee she is my great aunt, my mom's aunt.

And when she would see Javi, she'd be like, here you go honey.

You never wanna be without any money in your pocket.

And she would like, hand him a 20 and I'd be like, oh.

Or like Javi went through this phase, Javi and Enzo of like finding

my dad's wallet and just like taking money out of his wallet.

And I was like, I have never, but they just are so like, cute about it.

And they don't even ask.

But yeah, old people love to heat up kids that age and I'm here for it.

Anyway, so yeah, it was a, a beautiful week and now we're here.

um, ahead of schedule for us.

By the way, I want y'all to know that it's Sunday.

It is Sunday.

This

isn't coming out till

supposed to record every week.

This is the goal and

This is what we are supposed to be doing.

And this is gonna be, uh, I'm gonna use this as an example of how we're

gonna talk about this today on the podcast, but leaning into some

activities, um, in the wintertime.

Mm-Hmm.

And trying to like vibe by a schedule that is a

little bit more consistent.

that, that's, I tell you all the time, you're on

that big girl shit these days.

You are.

so hard,

I love it.

Are

trying so hard.

I, when I tell you, the end of the summer came and I was like, okay girl, you cannot

carry this all on into the fall because it's gonna like bring you major depression

if you don't like, change some habits.

And yeah, it, it's been like a game changer and I've decided as a cancer

to work with the New Moon, the Scorpio New Moon, and use that as my jump off

point for implementing some of these like better practices for myself.

So like, we're gonna talk about that too on the Patreon at some point.

So.

I love that you earlier were like the Ritalin is Ritalin

and I'm so happy for you for that.

And I have been out of my Vyvanse for a few days and haven't been able to get a

refill because of the holiday weekend.

So literally what I was listening to you talk, however, as soon as you said the

jump off, my brain immediately went to it.

This is the jump

off right here, yet, like immediately started singing

I I didn't hear

you, if you didn't go there, are you a real one?

If you didn't go there when you heard those words?

like what?

Millennial nonsense.

Millennial

foolishness.

I love

And then I heard nothing else.

You said,

That's it.

All you heard was Ray J and Lil Kim in your ear, and that was Arguably the

better of their two, uh, collaborations.

By the

I can't wait to rewatch this video.

'cause I have a feeling you can pinpoint the moment that my eyes

just like go blank and I'm like,

please send it

please.

was like a That's so braven moment for another millennial reference.

I was like,

Oh my God.

I cannot wait to pick up my ance tomorrow.

It's been.

I have like two pills left, so I'm really glad that you said that

because I need to call the doctor

It is bullshit that they make like every other prescription, auto refill,

whatever, the one for A DHD where you have poor executive function and can't

remember to call for your shit on time.

That's where they make you call

You know what

days.

a setup for failure, y'all.

And really, we have got to get it together.

And then they like,

Have you met

then there's like doctors that make you like go through it

too to prove that you need it.

And it's like, I forget to call every month.

Like is that not proof enough?

That should be proof

And mine comes in 90 days.

Does yours?

Oh no.

Maybe I should ask about that.

It wasn't because, okay, so Vyvanse was

Oh wait, I have to, I have to put mine.

I just remembered that for insurance purposes.

Anyway,

so insurance wouldn't cover it for 90 days because it was like it, there

was no generic and it was $370 a month.

But I was like, what am I supposed to do?

Not pay it like and just be a crazy person.

So I was paying it, but it just went generic in August.

So now I'm wondering if I could start doing a longer refill.

That'd be nice.

Three $70 a month.

That's insane.

The only way I could really justify it to myself was like every

day I was like, alright, well this is like $13 a day and the amount

of money that my dopamine seeking ass would spend if I didn't take

this would be more than $13 a day.

So I guess the math is still math thing and I'm like making out better, but

You know, I, mental health is one

place where if you are blessed to have it, spend the resources on it because child.

I will get a second job to pay for my therapy appointments.

When I do work a second job, it often goes to that because, and it's not

even like I'm paying that much, but like, it is a necessity that I talk to.

I always feel better after talking.

I might not always wanna make the appointment because I'm like,

you, it, it, it, you're gonna talk about the same issue you always do.

But I've never regret going, not ever.

I always come out of it feeling very good.

And I'm like, damn, this is just gotta be built in the budget.

Like nails, hair, food, gas,

Nails, hair, therapy,

food, rent,

Rent.

I, I love that.

Nails, therapy, rent.

They're all

at the same.

Listen,

to like,

we have given up so much

fuck,

I'm not giving up my acrylics.

Damn it.

No nor should you

Yeah, lemme tell you something.

Banging Jen and Elkridge, Maryland is gonna get my money because

I need to get my nails done.

Leon, the barber, the best barber, um, in Anne Arundel County and beyond.

He's gonna get my money every two weeks, okay?

He knows how to cut my hair without making me look like a

man in terms of like hairline,

You are

the most gorgeous woman in the entire world.

There's absolutely no what you have the most feminine face.

Like give me a break, first of all.

Because it's shaped like a potato.

Look at this a whole,

fuck.

But look, a kiwi a Kiwi girl.

I was talking to Kelly earlier today

and I was like, Kelly, don't I look like I'm like, like an aging kiwi, like on top.

Just look at that shit.

I cannot

An old ass Kiwi.

Oh my

She was wild.

Anyway, I don't know how we got here.

Maybe the Ritalin is wearing off.

I am like, I already know how this one's gonna go because I

have no medication in my system.

It's,

Can we, um, can I, can I, can I ask a question?

Mid podcast

yeah,

can we just shoot the shit?

let's just shoot the shit for a second.

Shoot the shit.

Fucking right.

Let's still pull a card though.

I'll have a little consistency for you ho out there who were like, oh

my God, this podcast is so off the

rails.

Every week

they get worse and worse.

and worse.

I know.

I like, every week I'm like, we have like 20 minutes of

banter before we get into it.

Today we're on like minute 26 , so like whatever.

We're cutting some of this out.

It'll be faster.

Whatever.

I mean, yeah.

Don't worry.

We'll edit out a good 10 minutes of me talking about my personal

life in a manner that you don't

need

We didn't even talk about Cheesecake Factory today, so,

oh my God.

Oh, you know what?

I could really go for tiramisu cheesecake

like right now.

This has nothing to do with Cheesecake Factory , but

I need to tell you something.

I saw

Okay.

This man

The medication is gone.

Everyone, neither of us have it in the system.

We spoke too

this man took stuffing, like leftover stuffing and he

put it in a waffle iron and made stuffing waffles and put his

Thanksgiving sandwich on that as the

Jimmy did that.

No, I wish,

Oh,

no, it was just this southern, some man on the

some other man.

Dude,

I wanna do

so fucking good.

That

sounds so banging.

I picked up another box of stove chop stuffing, 'cause I think I'm

Hell yeah.

Oh my God.

You've gotta do that like in the next few days.

I gotta

see

You know what else he did?

He mixed gravy and mayo to like put on it.

Which like sounded really gross.

Like I'm not about the male life, however, the rest of his, I don't, I

don't know what it's called, like food aesthetic, like the flavor profiles he

was putting together just were so on point that I was like, I trust him on this.

I'm not gonna lie, I would eat the hell outta that

sandwich.

I

didn't even ask what was in the middle.

All I heard was making stuff and end waffles and I was like, hell yeah.

Sign

Then, then he put like the Turkey cranberry,

that sounds so good.

Right.

I know.

I think that's gonna be for dinner.

You can also tell I haven't had my Vyvanse in days because

like the appetite is appetite.

Uh, normally that's like the first thing to go and it's kind of a bummer,

but I like have to force myself to eat.

But right now

I'm

gonna, I'm gonna pause mid, mid pause here to remind myself that I

actually have pasta on the stove.

oh, shit.

Go get that.

Um, it was just the water and I

was like, oh, I should probably like turn it off.

'cause, um, my, I don't feel like, I don't feel like eating

dough.

Hmm.

Well get you an extra box of Stovetop stuffing and you can make

yourself a little waffle tonight.

That sounds so amazing.

I'm excited for it.

We're gonna do a card pull.

What deck are you using today?

I'm in my old faithful girl, the energy oracle deck.

'cause like, she is just a banger for me every week.

Okay.

We are so grateful to be in this joyful mood.

So we're in a joyful mood and we're supposed to talk about seasonal, um,

depression and like, kind of like leaning into the season a little bit,

And last week we were so salty and we're supposed

to be talking about gratitude.

We are really on like mixed messages here.

people are

on an emotional bender.

Like, what are they getting into?

You'll never know.

Based on the vibe.

I don't, it's the vines baby.

It's, it's all vibe.

But today we're just feeling extra joyful and still very grateful.

And I'm glad that we can come to spirit like this and ask just

for a really Ooh, a good word.

As we enter the week, and it's so funny, our card is anxiety.

Everyone

talk about a mixed bag today.

I.

I swear.

Warrior distress.

Okay.

So the woman in this card is filled with anxiety worrying about something that

causes her a great deal of discomfort.

Receiving this card upright might indicate that you're experiencing a

time of increasing stress, perhaps even a situation that you're find yourself

brooding about much of the time.

However, if you'll notice the scene outside the window, the storm is

distant and perhaps even moving away.

Hmm.

A vibe, whatever's going on, this card is telling you to release

the worry and let yourself relax.

Brooding and fretting will never solve things, so trust in

yourself and trust your process.

Oh, I love that.

When you live with the relaxed heart and mind, you're far more likely

to receive solutions that you seek.

Let me, let me give it up for the Oracle deck coming through with a good word.

One of the biggest reliefs of anxiety for me is literally when I get, can get a

grip for five seconds is to ask myself, like, if I can change something or not.

And it, it doesn't make me like, oh, well fuck it.

I can't change it it's more like, is that in my control?

If you follow me on social media, like my following of

like, what, like 300 followers.

Okay.

The best baddies,

I annually talk about this quote that helps my anxiety.

It's about the three kinds of business.

And by Byron Katie

oh wait, I don't know this.

yeah.

Okay.

So Byron Katie is like a, self-help kind of spiritual vibe, right?

And I don't, I don't agree with everything she says, but one thing that she did say,

that helps you get through your anxiety, she said there's four questions actually.

Is it true, because this question can change your life.

Can you absolutely know it's true?

Number three, how do you react?

What happens when you believe in that thought?

And number four, who would you be without the thought?

Sometimes I have trouble in that moment approaching something

from outside of an emotional perspective and into a logical one.

I need sometimes those very specific questions to get a grip on what it is I

can get my hands on and control or not.

And, and in, and control in what way?

So I really love her.

I love like reading that over and over again.

She also has this thing called the three kinds of business, which also helps too.

So it's like, are you in your own business or are you in like

somebody else's business or are you in god's or source's business?

So when you worry about earthquakes, when you're gonna die, like blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, you're in God's business.

You don't have control over that.

I'm worried that she's never gonna blank or I hate that she always blank.

You are not minding your business.

You're not minding your business.

So you need to get back over here in your business.

And she says, if you over there minding somebody else's business who

is over here minding yours, not you.

So mind your business.

Right?

And that is a very, I don't know if you've heard it, if you were black, you've

definitely heard it to mind your business.

Mind your business.

And it is not just about like you and other people.

It's like my literally mind your business.

Mm-Hmm,

What is only yours to control?

I am in the habit of taking God's business and making it,

making myself think it's my business

and it's not.

But then I ignore my own actual business because I'm like so

worried about like plan B, plan C, plan D for everything else.

In the event that there is a blizzard and I'm stuck in my car for four days,

and I think like, oh, let me focus here.

And you know what?

That's not gonna help me when I just haven't answered that email I've

been putting off for three months.

Like that.

Maybe I could have a little bit more control over minding my own business.

So that is true.

Yeah.

It is a, it's a banger and it drags, it drags a little bit.

Like it

drags me, like when I read it, I'm like, oh,

it was a little bit of a sting.

It was like, oh, but

Like it's mind my, my business.

my business just been minded.

Um.

Speak for yourself.

I don't wanna mind my business.

Like, yeah, it's, it's hard to mind business, but it is necessary.

And I feel like, I don't know, in some ways, maybe that's what the winter time

is like, a reminder of like, what is business and all the other months, like,

we're busy, we're doing things and because we're in that like reflection season, I'm

like, this is a very good season for me to like go back over what my business is

and am I attending to it very well or not?

And it's another good time to like prioritize business, right?

Like if you have all these things that have been stacked up as your business,

maybe there's some stuff there that you can get rid of that you're actually like,

I don't really care about this anymore.

Like, we can let this one go.

I'm gonna give this one back to God.

They could take over on that one.

Speaking of business, we can cut this or not, but

it is relevant to pop culture.

Do you remember when I had the visceral reaction to, to us talking

about Diddy a few months back?

Yes.

We have not talked about this.

We need to fucking talk about it.

We

need to talk about it.

Let's just take a minute.

'cause we like,

You,

you knew, like you knew in your bones it re Okay.

You having that reaction to Diddy was basically Hannibal

Burris calling out Bill Cosby.

Like years before all that shit came out like that you were, you knew.

Yeah.

Well, I feel like a lot of people in the industry obviously

Shh.

It was, you take the credit

know,

but like, I, I feel like there are just some people that give off a vibe and I

feel like he definitely gives a vibe.

And I heard, I, there's some things I've heard about him where I'm like, oh, oh

my God, that's like, get it together.

That's not likely true.

And then there's some things where I'm like, oh yeah, that

probably never really happened.

But when I saw that and the swiftness with which he decided to settle it.

Um, I was like, yeah, that tracks and makes sense and is also really horrific

and tragedy and tragic for Cassie.

Cassie.

Yeah.

So if you haven't,

I'm like, not surprised

If people haven't heard, first of all, like, I

don't know where you're getting

in news.

Go look.

Um, but Cassie came out with like charges and like allegations that Diddy had

sexually assaulted her physically, like beat her up was financially abusive.

Yeah.

And like forcing her to do real fucked up shit that she didn't wanna do.

We don't need to get super triggery around here, but, um, straight

up like not good guy stuff.

Um, real, real bad

guy times.

And

yeah, just

just, yeah, just horrific behavior.

and the strength of her also to come out and be like, no, I'm

gonna, I like, I'm gonna be the voice for this because I'm not the only

one that he's been real awful to.

Um, incredible.

Like she doesn't know anybody any of that,

Yeah.

She doesn't.

And, and, and for the record, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna lean into

the microphone when I say this.

You are a trash human being.

If you don't see the complexity you are a trash human being if you don't

recognize how his age plays a factor.

Keeping in mind that I think he was in his like mid to late thirties, and

she was 19 when they started dating, signed her to a 10 record deal.

Who the fuck does that?

Anyway, if you are one of these people that are like, oh, she, she, used him

to get her career off the ground, and why now is she saying something, girl?

And I say, girl, like collectively, shut the fuck up.

I heard somebody talking about this within the context of Leonardo

DiCaprio and like how he stays dating like 22 year olds and now, like how it's

a joke because like, it's not a joke and people are like, oh, they're adults.

Like, they know what they're getting into.

And it's like when you have that power differential that doesn't really apply.

It's not like two people coming in on the same level.

People who have more access, more power, whatever.

But also the fact that, think about like, how many people say like, oh, the

person I dated at 22, biggest mistake.

Like when I was 22.

Like, biggest mistake of my life.

What a fucking joke.

Like, I can't believe I would never do that again.

And think about the fact that like, how many of these 22 year olds are

saying that about these men, that it's like, he was a fucking joke.

It was the biggest mistake I made.

Like, and it's facts because why do you wanna be, I don't know.

I, I get that there are.

Appropriate relationships that are very supportive between

people of very different ages.

But like I said, that power differential is a really big issue there.

And

Huge.

yes, it can, it can be done safely and securely, but I don't

think if it's Leonardo DiCaprio types and a Diddy type, somebody who has

a lot more draw, it just, it's hard.

And we, we saw that play out with Cassie and Diddy and all the love to

Cassie and to any other women who are speaking up because it's fucked up and it

Listen, and, and because the, the real, the real thing is like.

When you are a victim, it's very likely you've already spent a lot

of time making other people feel very comfortable, with your silence,

or people silencing you rather.

And in her new stage of life, she didn't deserve that.

What she also doesn't deserve is, people trying to force her to be

quiet because they're uncomfortable.

It is unfortunate that what what seems to stick in our society is always, you get

attention through financial compensation, and, you know, maybe some karma

somewhere else later on down the line.

But like.

Just a, just a quick heads up.

She doesn't owe you shit people, she certainly doesn't need to

justify, her actions when she's undergone such an experience and

she doesn't owe you anything, especially if you don't believe her.

Okay.

Yeah, I,

Be ignorant.

That's fine.

People are saying like, oh, she, she used him to get her career off

the ground for like cut it out.

Cassie is not Beyonce and that's not shade.

Okay.

But she's not, you know what I mean?

I guarantee you he got way more out of that relationship than she did.

Um, and I'm just amazed that people are still like playing into that.

Like, just because she was young, didn't know that she didn't mean

she didn't know what she was doing.

Like you said, like, have you been 19 before?

Come on, people.

So anyway, I'm just saying I, um, am really happy for her if this brings

her some additional closure and she looks very happy otherwise in her life.

Like she's got a great spouse and a beautiful family and all that stuff.

I also believe that one of the best things that you can do is live

your life in such a beautiful way.

Because if, um, people like that who are abusive, there's no way their life is

as good as it could be if you, if you like, were a decent being, you know?

That was the gospel according to Crystal, and it's the truth, it's facts.

People cut the shit.

Stop being

insane

Stop.

Stop victim blaming.

There

is no way that any individual in the midst of the hardest shit in

their life are going to be making decisions that you, from your high

horse, deem the right decisions.

Like people are going through it every day.

They're not gonna be reading your playbook of how to deal with it.

They're trying to survive.

So we don't really need to hear your victim blaming about why what people

did is wrong when they're living in a hell they're trying to get through

like how you have you lived life?

Like it can suck sometimes

right.

Like

I can tell you the hardest times were not the times I was making

the most enlightened decisions.

It was let's get through the day.

Mm-Hmm.

Yeah.

And

out to the people doing the, like, doing the work

and

and even more shout out to people who have, who do the work in a public manner.

People get really uncomfortable when people share their truth

and their experience, in these really difficult situations.

But I think a lot of people wouldn't know they were in those situations if it

weren't for someone being brave enough to share their story about things.

If we can show each other how we relate to each other, if we can show each other our

humanity and, and our, and our experience, we're gonna find it's shared in some way.

And there are a lot of people who really need that.

How many people might at some point have like the courage and it takes a

lot to go after their abuser in some kind of way, to get some closure

around that or to hold them accountable.

That's not an easy process.

And so for someone to do that, knowing that it's gonna be the topic of every

conversation, on a public forum in, in the entertainment world for quite

some time, that that just requires more balls than, than anybody.

So,

Yeah.

Uh, let's be real.

Like for people who are out there saying awful things,

victim blaming, victim shaming,

Mm.

Cassie's not gonna hear that or see that.

. I, I hope she doesn't, but like who is going to see that is your friend

who is coming to terms with speaking out against an abuser or somebody who

has gone through something in their past and hasn't been able to share

it like they are the people that are reading you being a dick right now.

So maybe let's tone it down and you know,

stop the big dick swinging because it's actually not

do better.

Do better be better.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Fucking right.

Good.

Fuck them.

Fucking, I'm gonna f bomb kind of mood today.

All right.

So listen here, it's Sunday.

Our outline is out the window, which I love for us.

Okay.

Um,

We can get back on it.

Oh yes, it's Sunday.

All right, so here today we are talking about battling the Winter

Blues Seasonal Affective Disorder.

And here's the tea.

Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing, like it is fully a real thing.

We're not here to diagnose anybody, but even if you're not diagnosed

with seasonal affective disorder, the days are dark, they're short.

You are dealing with family, potentially negotiating old long-term relationships.

Uh, there's triggers that are coming up.

There's overwhelming to-do lists, to spend lists.

The angst, the stress, it's cranked.

We can all have some winter blues and there's a lot of crossover in the

things that can help both seasonal affective disorder and winter blues.

Um, obviously if something is like getting in your way of living life

day to day that you are unable to deal and cope and get outta bed, please

speak to a medical professional, a mental health professional.

Hopefully these tips will, or this conversation,

right, like we are not a doctor.

But hopefully some of this stuff we talk about today will at least help

you feel a little more seen and give you, uh, a nice to-do list of how to

shake yourself out of the winter blues.

Yes, because it's, it can be rough and it's sneaky.

So hopefully, you know, if we can like, get some good habits Rolling now.

When we're in the thick of winter, we'll be a little bit better

off for it, um, when it hits.

Because I feel like for me anyway, it is inevitable that it pops up for me

like late January going into February.

I'm like, all right, enough sick as shit.

Yeah.

What and what does it feel like when it starts for you?

My God.

Just like, you look up one day and you're like, I haven't

left like the house in a while.

Like, and you haven't.

And like, there's no desire to leave the house.

Now.

That's really tricky for me because I already don't like to leave

the house and I already don't really like people like that.

So it's hard to discern like what is, the SADS and what is just me being a cancer.

It's like a natural at some point for me not to wanna balance the scales

and, and go be a little bit social or do something that is meaningful

to me that I have interest in.

And you know, if you, if you suffer from depression as it is, it's,

I think it can be even trickier.

But there is something about the winter that always makes me a little

sad just because of, obviously the lack of warmth, but also like if you

are, fine and melanated, then that means that you also very likely have

like a little bit less vitamin D or a lot of it less in your system.

We lose vitamin D very fast, and we tend to run lower on it, if

you happen to be a black person.

Talk to, your doctor about the vitamin D intake because it can

affect us, in a greater capacity.

But it just feels like, an additional heap of sadness sets in.

It starts to feel like, oh my God, this is the longest fucking winter ever.

When was the last time I was in the sun?

When was the last time I felt warm?

When was the last time I, I laughed a little bit and it's like, oh,

you've really just been coming home in the dark every day at like six

o'clock, making dinner, doing what you need to do and going to bed.

And it's like, you don't realize you've been doing that like for some weeks

and it's just like, oh, depression.

Whatcha doing here?

Like, Ariana, whatcha doing here?

I, we like, I think we're so, well, I think for a lot of

people, the, the sads do start to kick in a little earlier.

Like, my kids are getting off the bus at 3 45 and like the sun is

going down and I'm like, oh damn.

Like, hurry up, go play outside for 10 minutes.

. Like, this is all you got.

Do like whatever you

yeah.

But we, I think it's easy to, uh, tell yourself that it's not really happening

because there's Christmas lights and there's so much to do, and we can

be really busy that we just sort of like shut that part of our brain off.

Uh, accepting it, but it can also kick in earlier.

I think if you're looking for it, you might notice it a little sooner.

Um, and not to say that like, you know, that's inevitable or whatever, but it

might just be like a moment to be aware of the fact that like, are you taking

care of yourself even in the busy season?

Are you giving yourself a little more time to decompress?

Because that might help make it a little easier once we do get

to that January, February point.

Because yeah, for me that's when it really kicks into that.

You're like,

my God, I've, it's been winter in New England for seven years.

And girl, you've got all that snow.

So like I legit don't know how you're doing it.

We had a very no snowy winter last year and I don't think it snowed once.

Like my kids, I was a little annoyed 'cause I was like, I bought all these

damn snow pants in the next size.

If we didn't use 'em once.

Um, I still love tags on them.

I should try to return them

You might like.

You might get some use outta this year.

I heard this winter is gonna be like particularly

I'm, well, you know, my kids all grew 'cause they're gigantic.

So I'm like, now I gotta return these things.

Try to find a new size.

Um, but yes, it

Have a five T or a seven T.

Lemme know.

Or a seven.

Let know.

I'll buy 'em off you

oh look, I, we pulled the bins out today.

Um, I do, we like pulled out all the holiday decorations today

and that does make me happy.

Like those are those little moments of like coziness happiness that

those sort of do get me through too.

And I think like once we get into February and I'm like, the Christmas

decorations have been away for a long time, but I do love getting a

little bit of, uh, the Valentine's Day decorations out, putting some hearts up.

And I think like that's one of the things I have to force myself

sometimes to be like, let's make it cute, let's make it cozy.

But those are little dopamine boosters along the way that I'm like, all right,

there's things we can acknowledge in here.

The cozy leaning into that cozy girl.

We have a lot of February birthdays in my family too.

So that, um, I don't know.

I try to find little moments to celebrate along the way to be like, all right,

well here's something to look forward to.

School vacation in February here.

It's like something, you know, but it's so hard.

It just feels like it drags on forever.

It's monotonous.

Every day's the same.

There's no sun.

We haven't seen the sun in forever.

Um, but yeah, it's no fun.

When winter starts I get, I'm really happy.

But when you, like you said, when you get to that point that like January, February

point, it feels like the monotony of it.

And I will admit that I'm not great with how to like work through that with kids.

That's a thing that I feel like I need some help with.

So like if you guys have some experience in that and like, I don't know how you

do it again, because you're in literal New England and there's no way in house,

I don't even wanna like drive out in the snow when there's

like, when it's like mush.

There's no way.

I am,

also really bad at it, and I don't think I've been very good at it because my kids

will say things like, why do you keep us locked in this house all the time?

And I'm like, because I don't wanna go outside.

I don't wanna be cold.

I think people who do winter sports, like skiing and stuff,

I think they like leveled up.

Like they figured out how to take a really depressing time of year

and eek a little bit of joy out of it, but like . Falling down in the

snow does not sound like fun to me.

I don't want to do that.

I'm trying to avoid it.

It's

I don't wanna heat my car up like heating your car up in the morning.

What

No,

crap?

Let alone scrape ice

I know.

That's what I was just thinking.

Like I have to scrape ice.

I'm not gonna be happy about that.

I think that's i's the real benefit of remote work is not having to

do that, but I don't wanna do it.

Um, yeah.

Some other signs I think for me is in addition to the, like, I don't wanna

go outside, which lemme say I don't think not wanting to go outside is

like a sign that I'm really depressed.

I think it's a sign that it's really cold out and I think

that's a natural way to be.

Like, I think that I'm the logical one there and I think you are too.

You don't like to go outside.

I think that's logical and it's normal and I think that's what, that's the

appropriate reaction to very cold weather.

like, why do I want that?

Why do I wanna go outside?

And like I remember you having to take the bus to work like from

Columbia, like a commuter bus from Columbia all the way into dc.

And like there would be this point in the wintertime where like it was so

cold that my eye juice was drying up.

And I was

Like this is the most

Like

I've ever experienced.

Why do I.

No, what I am,

do I want, do I wanna layer aqua far over my fucking head every day

the inside of your nose gets like the little icicles on your nostril hairs.

The bus smells like wet dog.

'cause everybody's in their wall and like getting sweaty 'cause they ran.

Yeah.

'cause some of you rem remain funky in the wintertime too.

And honestly, we'll talk about it at some point.

Again, cut this out and, and bathe, cut it out.

like, I get it that people are like, I'm wearing this wool coat.

You can take those to a dry cleaner, you can spray them down

with a little bit of a breeze.

Like it doesn't, we don't have to, not.

It's a lot.

But the public transportation in the winter is a unique smell.

And I, I grew up in New York City, I could say that I took the subway

to school every day of my life.

It's, it gets stinky.

I stopped taking the, the metro because I could not handle.

The smell

when I was pregnant, I, I thought I was gonna throw up every day

on the fucking orange line, and I was like, there's no way.

No, but like, okay, and then, then you have kids, right?

And you don't wanna be playing outside with them 'cause it's cold.

I don't want that for myself.

But then they're like, oh, let's go to this indoor play place.

Okay.

That's basically just like a germ factory.

The kids in there are fucking wild.

'cause they've been cooped up for days and now you put 30 of them

together to climb on each other.

They're gonna beat the shit out of each other.

Somebody's gonna come crying to me.

I.

I like I am the meanest mommy.

'cause I hate playgrounds.

The only thing I hate more than playgrounds is these indoor PlayPlace.

They're all awful.

I'm like, why can't we just go to Target?

Let's just do that.

That's where we all wanna be.

I'll buy you a toy.

Like we've, okay, here's the problem.

And I acknowledge like, here's the problem.

Target is our playground.

It's not their playground So it's like, we know why we would have fun in Target.

Okay.

It's amazing.

But like, oh my God, this reminds me, we went to a birthday party

for Enzo at Sky Zone, Vienna, the overstimulation, it was so fucking outta

control.

And I didn't, again, I didn't take my, I didn't take my medicine, so I

was like having a sensory meltdown.

There was so much shrieking.

And then there was music and then there was like kids running and like stomping,

like there, there, it was a sensory nightmare for a highly sensitive person.

It just reminded me that like, that is what winter looks like.

And I think it's like this pressure to entertain the kids and make sure

that they're like, well-rounded and that they're getting activity

and they're seeing friends and you know, we're, we're doing stuff

when I just want a burrito instead.

And, um, man, that is very hard.

It is very hard.

But we're gonna, we're gonna work on it

here is my, here's our, I'm gonna say this is for both of us.

This is our request

to,

to any listener.

If you have found winter activity for kids that is indoors will

not have you trying to peel your skin off five minutes in.

mm-Hmm.

What is it like?

Please, please don't gate.

Keep this just like tell us.

tell us,

Please.

us.

You

We need to know.

You gotta tell us.

Okay.

You can't just keep us in the dark here.

Um, I am like, don't you wanna do a puzzle?

Don't

Oh my God, we did talk about that right last time.

Like we, I need to get my puzzle game.

Like,

I'm like, let's play a puzzle.

Just like, go on your iPad guys.

Go, go beat the shit out of each other in the other room, like, please.

Yeah.

'cause honestly, girl, that's like, that's pretty much what's,

I

what, what's gonna happen.

Yeah.

I love decorating with the kids.

We will, we will make some gingerbread houses.

Like those things.

I like

a good art project season

Yeah.

But a lot

of those things they dry up in January, like Yeah.

Now I'm dreading it.

We started this time.

We started in such a good mood,

Aw.

Yeah.

But like, but honestly, the reason why we feel that way,

I want you guys to know like, it's not because we hate our kids

No, he liked them so

we love them so much.

We don't want it to suck for them.

Like, I remember being a kid and my mom being like, girl, I don't wanna do that.

And I'd be like, and it's, and it's hard because like when you're an

adult, you know how fucking tired you are and your kids don't get it.

And when you're a kid you're like, yo, can you do something other than

like yell at us or make us clean, or like, tell me to go color.

Like, so, so we get it.

And I never want my kids to be disappointed.

Um, but they might be sometimes because I bitch is tired in, in the wintertime,

it's not always easy to get around.

People get sick.

I'm dreading that part of the season as well

where we just

like get

this.

Yeah.

over and over again.

Um, but yeah, if there are, if you guys have some like new and inventive

ways to like, keep your kids happy and, and also yourselves, like what are

some of the ways that you take care.

Of yourself in a season that it feels like sometimes it's going so slow,

you wanna scream, but also so fast that you wish it would slow down a

little bit because like, I feel like there's a little bit of that duality

The fun.

The fun parts go so fast.

I was so sad this morning when I was like, a month from today, this is

like the peak behind the curtain of what day we're actually recording

versus what it's like going on.

But I was like, A month from today, Christmas is over, like it's done.

We only have a month of like the leading up and like I listen, I know that people

are like, oh my God, it's so basic.

Like basic bitches, whatever.

Like some things . Are considered basic because a lot of people like

them and a lot of people like them because they're fun and they're good.

And I'm gonna say that about the holiday season.

I don't care what holiday you celebrate, I don't care if you do

it in a religious way, if you don't.

I think that towards the end of the year, there just is this like lightness

and happiness and joy and people are excited and you get to see people

you haven't seen in a long time.

You get to see family and that's really fun.

And it's really nice and like a bitch loves a twinkle light.

Okay?

I just love a twinkle light.

It does something inside of me.

I don't know what it is.

And yeah, if that makes me basic,

It's, it's a beautiful, like,

I just like it.

it's just one part of the year for me.

I'm very weird about the holiday season, Christmas in particular

because it gets, it's so, it's so commercialized and, and capitalistic

that it really stresses me out.

I'm sure that's a lot of people's complaint.

But, from an ego perspective, I get like really weird about it because I

wanna give, so much and I often cannot,

and I have to like reel in from that feeling.

And so I feel like I battle that all the time up until like, up

until like a week prior to

Christmas, right?

I feel.

Irritated by

the entire season.

And then something happens when we know we don't have to go to

work for the rest of the week, I know I've gotta wrap the gifts.

There's nothing else for me to do.

There's nowhere else for me to be, but in my house, doing some real corny

shit like making, um, hot chocolate for my kids who are not gonna fucking

drink it, and they're probably gonna spill over the couch and shit.

But this cute, like, wallet lasted for a second and like making cookies

and playing, anything Christmas related that Donny Hathaway sings,

which is my personal favorite.

And like, just like I, it's like, oh look, I can like nest into that

feeling and then I get really, really, really happy about it.

Then when, when like the new year is done, then it's immediately

back to like dreading winter for the rest of the season.

I should take that approach to it though, because I get so fired

up about holidays, like November 1st.

Usually this year's a little weird for me that like, it started late, but I get

so excited and then like by Christmas I'm like, wrap it up, like we're done.

End it.

But I think like you probably do have a better approach that you let

Christmas, be Christmas or let let the end of the year be the end of the year.

I feel like I've been getting into it a little too early lately.

But I don't care what holiday people wanna celebrate.

I'm, I also want to celebrate that with you, . Like I just, if people

say Happy Holidays to me, I love it.

If they say Happy Hanukkah to me, I love it.

I will happily be part of any holiday that anybody wants to acknowledge.

It just,

Yeah.

I honestly,

I love

I love celebrating other, like the, the holidays of other

cultures bring me so much fucking joy.

I love to experience that.

Yeah.

All those Karens who are getting upset about, like, they're, they're

taking the Christ out at Christmas.

Like, you know what?

Let's, let's go down to like, Jesus Christ as a historical figure was

not born December 25th, anyway.

It was a Pagan holiday to begin with that the Christian . Rulers were like,

let's try to get them on board and let them put their trees in their house

and pretend that this is Christmas.

So, you know, like, let's just

Cut the shit, cut the shit,

stop ruining everybody's good time,

in conclusion,

if a twinkle light makes you feel better in December and eases your SADS

a little bit, put that twinkle light up.

Enjoy it.

Do cozy shit.

Make the ha cocoa, put on warm socks.

Get a furry

you know what I

did

to like, cozy up.

I put, I, I can't use my fireplace.

Uh, which is a bummer, but I did put some condos in the

fireplace just to give it a vibe.

I did the same thing last night.

I think it looks so

pretty

so pretty.

We have, we have six fireplaces in our house.

We cannot use any of them.

. The Chiney is nonfunctional.

We cannot use them.

Um, but they also sell, have you seen the Amazon logs or I guess

they're not from just from Amazon.

They're on Amazon.

But you can get them other places.

They have a built-in heater and it's like a light that you can turn on with the

remote, so it'll blow heat out at you.

You could put like different

I'm like, hold on a minute,

I know I saw somebody posted like a video or a picture

on Instagram and I saw it and I was like, oh my God, I need to get that.

It's genius and it has like a built-in heater, so you

still get the warmth from it.

Not a birch one

we'll, we will link these all in the show notes and everything.

We will link the fireplace, um, companion to, the season

Oh

wait.

This is a great little teaser because we are also talking about a healing

happy hour gift guide that will be up on our website in the next couple weeks.

I'm not sure, depending on when this is gonna be going up, how much we'll be out.

But there will be a gift guide as well.

And you know what, this might just be on that gift guide

that's one thing about me.

I'm gonna do whatever to make my place as cozy if we're

gonna be stuck in this bitch.

Because it's cold.

I want it to be as comfortable as possible.

Um, within reason.

You know, so like, having some of your favorite things on hand, the things that

make you feel grounded, like your good nourishing foods, like your, your warm

blankets, the, the best like pajamas that you can possibly get yourself.

Like, make your bed your heaven, get your Netflix list popping.

Like, do all of those things to like, give yourself some, you know, some comfort

Yeah.

And if you are one of the neurodivergent, girlies like us,

Mm-Hmm.

the dopamine seeking is a really big piece of it, which means

Yeah.

Chopping.

novelty this time of year, right?

Like

have a couple of different types of popcorn.

Get yourself a sampler of different types of hot cocoa.

That way every time you get into it, it's a totally new one.

It's a new experience.

You're gonna get a little bit more dopamine that way.

Um, buy yourself like a 10 pack of really warm socks.

But yes, it's very commercialized.

There's lots of people trying to sell you shit this time of year,

but like you don't have to go too far overboard to get yourself a

little bit of a sense of novelty.

There's so many audio books on Libby.

You don't have to be paying for them.

You already have

your

my God.

Discover like the joy of going to your library too, and like

That.

That right there, I will say is one of the few places that I will

take my kids happily day in and day out because the children's room,

God bless a children's librarian.

You all make the world go round.

I love a children's librarian.

I don't know how you're all so patient when my little hellions are running

around trying to like pull things off the shelves and you're just so kind.

Our library does a monthly scavenger hunt where they like put up

different pictures and different sections of the children's room.

Was that the cat just screaming or was that one of my kids?

I don't know.

She's in the litter box, like covering, but she's so fucking extra.

Now I'm talking about you.

She's like, do you see me talking about you and you take a shit in your

Look, Monica stays going.

Why

Right.

Let that cat alone.

Are you done?

you wanna talk more Gift guide though?

And pooping combined

Oh

a a

tushy that's on my list this year.

We, we switched our toilet out.

I thought it was overkill.

I got done with like, the warm, the heated seat.

The, the warm water,

the warm blow drying.

I thought it was gonna be too much and I didn't think I was gonna like it.

It's a, it's

a life changer.

Are you kidding?

Girl?

Well, you know, sometimes you hear like a warm seat and I was gonna

be like, is it gonna be like when, like somebody's been sitting for a

long time and then you have to use

it right after?

Yeah.

Like, ugh.

A stranger in a public restroom where you, you had

to put your booty cheeks on

Right.

You sit down and it's too warm.

That's uncomfortable.

It's a different kind of warmth of a warm seat.

So I don't even know where the fuck we are.

Oh my God.

I really cannot wait to get my Vyvanse tomorrow.

This is too much.

Um, okay,

you know, we need to, like, we need to chatter chat about, um,

we're just all over the place today.

we are, I hope y'all enjoy this.

Okay.

Um,

So what else?

What else works for coping?

We said cozy stuff.

We said, oh, I don't know what else you said.

You said vitamin D.

Props to that.

And you mean legitimate vitamin D like.

I mean like if you are concerned about your energy levels, because that's

often how it starts, your energy levels and they, you know, like consider talking

to your doctor about doing some blood testing to see how your iron levels

are and how your vitamin D levels are, particularly if you are a black

woman or man or however you identify.

Okay.

If you black, go to the doctor and ask them to do a

little panel to see what's up.

I will tell you that what I thought was low, vitamin D actually ended

up being anemia so severe that that's how we found out I ended up,

I needed to have a hysterectomy.

So like,

it starts with like just absolute low energy and like, just feeling

like, like a very blindness that goes on a little too long.

Um, among other things.

So check it for sure

and vitamin D levels and iron levels are related too.

So if you're vitamin D, . Again, not a doctor, but this is what

I remember my doctor telling me.

If your vitamin D is low, your body is not absorbing iron.