Your host, Maureen Spielman, joins you today to discuss how to be in the not knowing. It’s an uncomfortable place we find ourselves and so many of us find ourselves there in some way, shape or form. The not knowings take the form of medical challenges, relationship changes, kid issues, and mid life purpose questions. The truth is that we never really know what’s to come but learning how to be with the emotions that come up for us is the key to discovering what you truly need in the moments.

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS (what you’ll learn):

• The process of sitting still to access your answers
• What circumstances bring up the feeling of not knowing
• Learning how to be in the knowing; re-learning how to be
• Realizing that outer challenges are not here to be judged
• Our tendency to want to fix or make something go away
• Emotional practices to get to what’s underneath your feelings

References mentioned:

Michael Brown, The Presence Process

Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue

About the Host:

Maureen Spielman is the Founder of Mystical Sisterhood, a podcast dedicated to bringing more joy, healing and expansion to the world. She is a seasoned life coach who supports individuals through one-on-one coaching, groups and workshops.

Connect with Maureen:

● Check out her Instagram: @maureeenspielman

● Learn more about her work at www.maureenspielman.com

● Want to join our Mystical Sisterhood Membership community? Find out more here: https://www.maureenspielman.com/mysticalsisterhood

● Email Maureen at hello@maureenspielman.com to inquire about coaching, podcasting & speaking engagements

● Want to view Mystical Sisterhood episodes? Visit the Mystical Sisterhood YouTube Channel here: Magical Sisterhood Youtube

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Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is

your host, Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight

the intuitives, healers and other courageous women that I've

met along my journey and continue to meet. Through

amazing interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to

uncover ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom

and knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

building please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

in the episode.

Hello, and welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is

your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I am here on another solo

episode called How to be in the not knowing, I always say these

are as much for me as they are for you. So I think the things

that we're attracted to, in our lives are part of what we need

to learn.

Today, I decided to switch away from what I was going to

originally talk about, and follow where I was being guided,

I've been going through a lot on a few different levels with a

close friend. And there's a lot surfacing in my heart, my

emotions, my mind and on the soul level, a lot of questions I

have, and ways of being that I continue to try to be with and

grow with. So I knew last week that I didn't have a guest lined

up. And so I thought, okay, there's gonna be a solo episode.

And based on what I had going on in my life, I was thinking of

the topic choosing between, or the choice that we have between

love and fear. But it didn't feel quite right. And I got to

Monday morning, and I thought, What am I going to talk about?

And so I did a practice, which I often do, which call it

meditation, call it getting still. But I sat, turned my

timer on for 15 minutes and ask the question, What am I meant to

know here? And what am I meant to share or talk about today,

and what really came up strongly was, How comfortable are we,

when we don't know. And when we are in what I'm calling the not

knowing. So I was really thankful that that came to me

and spent the morning, you know, putting it together and try to

figure out what I was going to say. So I think this is about

learning to be in the not knowing. Because we are so

conditioned to do that. It's really truly a relearning how to

be, which I believe, is a real learning because we came in

knowing how to be and then we were conditioned away from it.

But I really thought that this could be

a good topic, because a lot of us find ourselves in the not

knowing all the time, we might be faced with a

some outer experience or challenge either we're having or

a person close to us is having an that could be like a really

close friend or partner, or a child. And I just want to be

with you and say it can feel really, really hard. And to be

seen in how that can feel. And on the human level on the

emotional level. It's real, it's real and to be seen, and that is

super important.

And I think it's we don't have a roadmap, right? And every

situation is different. So when we come to something in our

lives that feels challenging for us, partly it's because we don't

know what's next. We don't know what's going to come. And I and

I was thinking about it, and thinking, well, what are we

uncomfortable with? Are we uncomfortable with the not

knowing? Or and it can be both? I'm just asking the question,

are we uncomfortable with the emotions that are coming to us

around it? And I think I know for myself, like for so much of

my life, I kind of push down the emotions, that it's really the

sort of like there's a renaissance of being with the

emotions, learning to be with the emotions, learning to feel,

how they feel in my body.

And all of these things. So just to name you know, a few

outerworld things I've seen people going through and you

know, maybe not having

And answer to. And that being part of that not knowing that

can feel frustrating is our people that may be either going

through a medical crisis, something that is really big,

and not not knowing necessarily what's to come how to navigate

it.

It can really, if we're just looking at it in one way, take

us under a tidal wave. And I've seen that happen too, with those

going through ongoing, sort of, like, what seemed like more

chronic conditions medically. And that can be really trying

and challenging to because you may be in the case where you're

doing what you can to heal it or integrate what your your past

into your present, yet it still presents. And so that's, that's

a way that the not knowing what's to come can be really

frustrating. I think an example of one I've seen a lot too, in

recent years, especially since COVID. And I have to believe

it's because also what our kids are going through all the

pressures that they have, and the race for their attention

with their phones, and any sort of tech is, I'm gonna call it a

mental health crisis or an emotional health crisis,

however, you

name it. I just feel like, it's really, really, really difficult

to see our children go through challenges, and also for us as

parents to experience the feelings and emotions that come

along with that. Because the truth is, we never know, we

never know what's next. And so we can only do, what we know how

to do and learn or relearn what we've forgotten to do in the

circumstances. And we'll kind of talk about that as we weave in,

you know, the conversation today. But I think that when we

have or I know from my experience, when there's

something with a child, a lot of fear and anxiety can come up

around it. So I'm sort of naming different sort of, I'm going to

just call them feeling states or emotional states that can come

up around whether it's frustration, anger, sadness,

fear, anxiety, all sorts of things, anger that comes up. So

that come up in the not knowing for us. There's also a midlife

crisis, where we are coming to midlife and thinking like,

what's my purpose and what's next for me, and then not

knowing and feeling like time as time is going by and you can't

possibly like, quote unquote, figure it out soon enough. And

that can be very frustrating. I feel like I went through a lot

of that in my 40s, for sure.

And then I can't believe I didn't put this one first. But a

relationships, relationship not knowing, perhaps being on a

short term or a long term relationship and not knowing it

can be really uncomfortable place. Because we're so

conditioned to find the answer be hard on ourselves for the not

knowing.

Look to fix or change a situation, instead of knowing it

might be here for us in our learning. And but I want to

Nate, I wanted to first name because for most of us, it is

our experience, that these things can feel tiring and

exhausting. And it's so understandable that that, that

they do feel that way. Because they can feel bigger than life

when we forget that we're part of it. And we're creators within

it.

So for you, you know, just posing that question to you what

comes up for you when you don't know what's next? What emotions

or feeling states come to you that you either sit with or

don't and there's no right or wrong in that. But how is it

that that shows up for you when you don't know.

I feel like for me

I I'm I am kind of between both worlds. Because if you've been

listening for a while, you know that I'm a believer that we're

having this human experience. Right and and and we were souls

that we have souls within us and we're having a human experience.

So there's the both and there's the we're held by the benevolent

universe, and how is this for me, but there's also the truth

in navigating

our path and path with our loved ones within ourselves. So sort

of doing this dance between both sides, and we're learning how to

be with both of them.

So that's what happens to me. And when there's something big

in my outer world these days I find myself like straddling

between the two of the soul and then the human experience. And I

think that an intention I have for myself

Because I think that the,

the soul side has such softness to it is that I, I intend to

come to that side first for myself, and then I can be with

the human parts too.

My soul seems to know, there's something bigger at play in a

lot of situations. And, and I think when I'm in that space, I

would love to hear your thoughts on this I can trust.

But my mind and my ego I'll call it desperately wants to fix the

situation to make it better, like I said before to make it go

away. And it's so understandable it would because it seems like

it would be so much easier. And on many levels it is It wouldn't

be right if we didn't have to

have the challenges that we do. So I said about the friendly

universe, I was just rereading parts of conversations with God

by Neale Donald Walsch. And in it, he says the way to reduce

the pain you associate with earth experiences and events,

both yours and others, is to change the way you behold them.

So when they come into our world,

being able to sit with them, as to not judge them the

experiences. But to know that they're here to, for us to

remember our true. Remember our light that which we lost long

ago, because this lifetime is about discernment, right? Like

the what we want more of and in what we want to experience less

of, but it's all that path back to home back to our knowing back

to our truth back to our light. And you are in the process of

rediscovering I believe if you're listening to this, and

you're listening to either me or any of my guests, you are on

that process of remembering and changing your inner experience

of the outer experience.

I know I get a little I think misaligned or what feels like

off center when I'm so much in in the other side of it like the

the ego, the human mind the fix it.

I think I'm looking at it as wanting, wanting to have this as

understandable, a less painful or pain free experience. But I

think we're all reminded that life isn't pain free. And if

we're here to remember who we are, then we're going to

experience a wide range of experiences. And my need to fix

it is a product of thinking it's wrong to begin with.

So yeah, another turning point for me. And I think that in the

book, The Neale Donald Walsch book, it helped me remember

is when there's something an outer event happening if it's an

illness, or a child, or a relationship. And this was one

that I didn't start learning until about three years ago, was

that I'm not a victim to those circumstances. But I'm a creator

of what I'm seeking to experience and redefine as my

experience, as opposed to whatever my experience was in my

childhood.

Because I think traditionally the not knowing, for me could

feel like a helpless place. And circumstances can feel so much

bigger than us. But it's getting quiet. It's getting in the

being, it's getting in the stillness and going inward. That

helps me feel more of the knowing the finding my answers,

just like I did when I started out today, like, what's my

answer? What's here for me to share today? And the answer that

came was shocked about the not knowing and how uncomfortable it

can be and how to be with our emotions and sit with them.

So learning to be with what comes versus thinking that I

need to do as well. I love how Michael Brown of the presence

process says this is this is a good one. The only way out is

through and the only way through is in because they always heard

the only way out is through, but I never really was hearing them

the only way through is in inward. So is there an emotion

or information that can come up for us in the not knowing

because the not knowing is how something appears, the

frustration and the emotions that come and the question of

where can you turn when you don't know. And although we've

been conditioned to think that the not knowing is on

comfortable. And I said this in the beginning, but I'll say it

again, perhaps it's because sitting with the emotion that

come up that comes up. So the emotions that come up with not

knowing is the part that's uncomfortable.

So I believe that. And the more I work with myself and I work

with individuals, is that we have that richness within us.

And it's the peeling back of the layers and shedding of the

conditioning that allows us to get to the heart of the matter.

So let's go for a few ways that I do this in a few more points.

To reference, if it's a process that you're curious about. And I

may have said this in my other solo episodes, but it's the

process of going inward. So I think it's what I'm seeing more

and more is how important it is to make intentional room for

yourself. We all lead busy lives, and it's really hard to

find the time to go within. But I encourage you to find that

space and time, every day, whether it's the first thing you

wake up in the morning at 536 3730. Or, you know, if you

get to take a break in the afternoon, or if not in the

evening. But making that intentional room for yourself

knowing that your soul connection and going within for

your answers is nothing is more important. Your soul is always

guiding you. I know one way that I avoid making the room for

myself is to really fall back on that old busyness. And I know

you guys so many can relate is, is

distracting I work out of my home. So Geez, it's always a

dishwasher to be emptied, or some food to be eaten or

just something that keeps me from sitting and being still.

And this morning, I did it with my 15 minutes. And I don't even

think I made it through the 15 minutes. But I got a lot of gold

when I was there. But I think that when we go to the question

of

how does the discomfort and the not knowing show up for us, when

we don't know

is knowing that there's a message to listen to in any and

all emotions, feelings, experiences that come to you.

That's, that's the inner richness. That's your emotional

intellect.

I actually saw I was up in Madison, Wisconsin yesterday.

And I think I saw a therapeutic place like a counseling center,

and it was called, was actually called the gift of emotions. And

I usually don't see that on a therapeutic

center. And I thought it was really beautiful because it was

just so therefore you like let's talk about it, let's let's

unwrap the gift of the emotions. They're here to guide us and

bring us back.

And to go within an ask. So if you feel the emotions, the first

part is to feel them, where do they surface in your body. And

just be with them and breathe with them. And you know, often

not sure about you, but for emotions for me, especially if

there's a tough outer circumstance. I can feel them,

right. They're there. They're right there. They're right on

the surface. And so this morning, I looked up a yoga

playlist, because music is one way that I use to move emotions.

And I was really intentional about it today because I knew

that there were some to move. And so you hey, we all know the

music that can allow our tears to flow and our emotions to

come. Even if it's anger to come out. There's music for that,

too. It's really important. But when the emotions come to you,

if you can sit and ask them, What are you here to tell me?

What are you here to tell me? And I think quite simply in my

not knowing of my outer circumstance, I was being caught

in the doing. And then I pull myself into the beam and into

the setting and into the feeling and then into the inquiring and

the compassion of what are you here to tell me?

Is there a need here that I have that I have forgotten? And is it

is it that in this case Maureen needs solace? Maureen needs

compassion, Maureen? Because we forget often to include

ourselves in the equation when we're dealing with the outer

world. Of course, you know, it's like Who me but I believe we are

all reawakening to this together and we are finding that nothing

is more important. So what do you need at the moment?

Is it compassionate language? The language of understanding. I

see you I hear you that inner dialogue for yourself, not for

the other for yourself.

have someone to hold your hand and even

just to read parenting, and that's a whole nother episode of

coming back to ourselves, and re mothering and re parenting and

repairing what we didn't get in our childhoods, because often,

most likely, the emotions coming out for us are reminiscent of

something from our past. And I'll ask you what is the truth?

That is here for you to remember. The not knowing may be

here for you to rediscover and recreate who it is you are

becoming. And I bet when you sit with it, you will remember a lot

more than you give yourself credit for. Because we can't,

can't always get to the answers. If we're not quiet with

ourselves. If we're not inquiring with ourselves.

I'd say committing to hearing yourself, and that what is

inside of you. And uncovering the answer is help you heal. And

in turn, you will be able to give

I think more freely, more fluidly more in flow to others

on the outer world, when you learn to be with yourself in the

inner world and go to your needs. First and foremost. And

then I think an important part for me.

And let me know what you think I'm missing today. But is to

lean into your safe and trustworthy relationships. So

allow yourself even as you're kind of being with whatever your

outer situation or challenge or experiences, lean into the safe

and trustworthy places.

Reach out if you're looking to find what that might be for you.

And maybe we can think of ideas. But

I don't know today. If this question of how can we be within

that knowing or being within that knowing support you at all.

But it's meant to be a moving from whatever you're

experiencing on the outside, to bring it into your own inner

process and experience. And it will help you I believe,

navigate with the little stuff and the big stuff. And learning

that in our being we can find answers.

Sometimes a lot faster than we can and are dealing and pair it

with you're doing that make sure you're doing the Bing

or Bing Bing.

Thanks for listening today. As always, I appreciate it. If you

haven't left a review, Apple is the platform where reviews are

collected. And I'd be so grateful if you pop down there

for a moment to give it a rating and a review. It helps the work

become more exponential.

And if you want to reach out and continue the conversation, you

can email me at hello at Maureen spielman.com. I'm all about

transforming any older paradigms into newer paradigms. It's a

huge love of mine. And for both personal and professional, and

just

getting goodness out into the universe. We're all needed for

that.

In the mystical sisterhood membership, like I always say we

discuss topics in this really soul centric way.

And I'm always committed within that forum and platform to

conscious conversations. So I plan to put together a few

workshops for the fall. So take a look at my website soon.

That's a Maureen spielman.com And you'll find mystical

sisterhood.com connected there.

But many, many thanks for being here. I hope this assist you in

some way, even if there's one sentence in here or one quote,

or anything that you can take out into your world and share

with somebody. One has a million as they say. And that's it. So I

will see you on the next episode with our next guest and stay

well.

Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcast and

subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership. Visit

Maureen spielman.com or mystical sisterhood.com Thanks so much.

I'll see you in the next episode.