As Educators, we know that cultivating a sense of belonging and a supportive environment contribute significantly to student success. As you'll hear, Women of Color have high graduation rates in STEM fields, but lower retention in employment - mentorship is one way to ensure support for women of color STEM students as they enter into STEM careers.

In today's episode, three women of color in STEM share their experiences, challenges, successes, and advice with the Mt SAC community. We will hear from Dr. Reegan F. Patterson, Assistant Professor of Civil and Environmental engineering at UCLA and Principal investigator at the Engineering Environmental Justice Lab, Milan Foston, Civil Litigation and Environmental Lawyer at Skane Mills, LLP; Janielle Cuala, Ph.D. Candidate in Medical Biophysics at USC Keck School of Medicine.

Listen in for ways these stem leaders bring their diverse perspectives, authentic selves, courage, and tremendous expertise to their research and work to solve broad problems, and how mentorship has impacted their achievements. Enjoy.

Resources:

Engineering Environmental Justice Lab: https://engineerejlab.com/

*Advancing research on (de)infrastructuring to reduce air pollution exposure and enhance community resilience.

Almost Half of Americans Breathe Unhealthy Air, Report Finds | NY Times, April 2025

• Mega-warehouses Heap More Pollution on Hard-Hit Illinois Neighborhoods | The Guardian, April 2024
• Science Leads in Addressing Climate Crisis | US Black Engineer, April 2024
• EPA Tightens Rules on Some Air Pollution for the First Time in Over a Decade | National Public Radio, February 2024
• Reckoning 375: How New Orleans Prioritized People Over Pavement | WDET 101.9, October 2023
• Biden's Big Plan for Environmental Justice May Actually Increase the Racial Pollution Gap | Capital B News, July 2023
• Four Professors Receive 2023 Chancellor's Award for Community-Engaged Scholars | UCLA Newsroom, July 2023
• Driving Toward Justice: Transportation and Equity, with Regan Patterson | Resources Magazine, June 2022

Mt. SAC MESA (Math, Engineering, Science Achievement) Program The MESA Program is a state-funded program that enhances the educational experiences of under-resourced students majoring in math, science, and engineering. This program supports first-generation college students by offering academic assistance, career development activities, and opportunities for community building. MESA is a collaborative STEM community dedicated to fostering scientific curiosity and growth—personally, professionally, and academically.

MESA's fall 2025 newsletter includes pictures from the Women of Color in STEM event (p7).

The aim of the Mt. SAC Equity Center is to create an inclusive space where all students can thrive and succeed. We are the home to four programs: Arise, Dream, First Peoples Native Center, and NextUp/REACH.

More on the Engineering Environmental Justice Lab https://engineerejlab.com/ UCLA Dr. Patterson's lab: The Engineering Environmental Justice Lab at the University of California, Los Angeles Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UCLA CEE) explores (De)Infrastructuring, Equitable Energy Transitions, and Sensor Technology & Community-Engaged Research to understand the air quality and equity implications of transportation and infrastructure policies.

Through community-engaged, research-to-action projects, we aim to support health-promoting communities that prioritize transportation equity, reduce automobile dependency, and are climate resilient. EEJL is led by Dr. Regan F. Patterson, an Assistant Professor at UCLA CEE.

More about our Panelists:

Dr. Regan Patterson, Professor of Civil & Environmental Engineering at UCLA:

Dr. Regan F. Patterson is an Assistant Professor of Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of California, Los Angeles and the Principal Investigator of the Engineering Environmental Justice Lab. She was previously the Transportation Equity Research Fellow for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation and a postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research. Dr. Patterson earned her Ph.D. in Environmental Engineering from UC Berkeley. Her research focuses on air quality, sustainable transportation, community engagement, and environmental justice. More specifically, she examines and models the impacts of transportation and infrastructure policies, alongside place-based, community-driven interventions, on air pollution exposure disparities and environmental justice outcomes. Fun Fact: I love line dancing (where them fans at?👢)

https://samueli.ucla.edu/people/regan-patterson/

Milan Foston, Civil Litigation & Environmental Lawyer at Skane Mills LLP

Milan Foster is a Civil Litigation and Environmental Law Attorney and board member of Aquatic Futures Foundation. Milan is a PADI certified Rescue Diver and PADI Divemaster Candidate. Milan grows coral in her home reef aquarium and regularly scuba dives in the Pacific Ocean. In addition to her law degree, Milan has certificates in: Aquarium Maintenance, Global Warming, Marine Biology and Harvard Business School's Business and Climate Change course. Milan is trained in the ways businesses are adapting their customs and standards in response to the current climate environmental impacts on land and oceans. Milan uses her legal and scientific education to generate sustainability methods for private businesses while supporting marine conservation programs and providing insight into Ocean and Coastal Law and Policy. Fun fact: I am a PADI certified Mermaid!

Janielle Cuala, Ph.D. Candidate in Medical Biophysics at USC Keck School of Medicine

My name is Janielle Cuala. I started at LA Community College before transferring to Cal State LA, where I earned my BS in Biochemistry. Now, I am a PhD Candidate in Medical Biophysics at USC's Keck School of Medicine. At the Children's Hospital, I conduct research to find a cure for diabetes. I'm also the President of the Graduate Student Government, representing nearly 30,000 students and trying to enhance graduate life. I'm passionate about bridging science and leadership through biotech startups, nonprofits, science communication, and mentoring. Fun Fact: I was born and raised on Guam and am a certified scuba diver.

Run Time: 1hr, 10min

To Find the full transcript for this episode click HERE

If you could tell your younger self, I'd be like, don't hide behind what you think you have to say, you have to do, there's a correct thing. No, be yourself. And then that also relates to my other piece of advice around nonlinear pathways. Don't be afraid if you're not 100% sure on what you want to do right now. And that— something I like to tell a lot of my students is try something because figuring out what you don't like is just as important as figuring out what you do like.

Welcome to the Mt. San Antonio College Podcast. I'm Chisa Uyeki, a Mt. SAC professor and librarian, and I'm pleased to be your host for this season. Our goal is to keep you connected to our campus by bringing you the activities and events you may not have time to attend, to share the interesting things our colleagues are creating and innovative ways they are supporting and connecting with Mt. SAC students. Join me as we explore Mt. Sac.

As educators, we know that cultivating a sense of belonging and a supportive environment contributes significantly to student success. As you'll hear, women of color have high graduation rates in STEM fields but lower retention in employment. Mentorship is one way to ensure support for women of color STEM students as they enter into STEM careers. In today's episode, three women of color in STEM share their experiences, challenges, successes, and advice with the Mt. Sac community in support of future women of color in STEM. We will hear from Dr. Reegan F. Patterson, assistant professor of civil and environmental engineering at UCLA and principal investigator at the Engineering Environmental Justice Lab.

Milan Foston, civil litigation and environmental lawyer at Skane Mills, LLP; and Janielle Cuala, PhD candidate in medical biophysics at USC Keck School of Medicine. Listen for ways these STEM leaders bring their diverse perspectives, authentic selves, courage, and tremendous expertise to their research and work to solve broad problems and how mentorship has impacted these achievements. Enjoy.

Good afternoon. Welcome. Bienvenidos. Thank you all so much for being here. My name is Andrea García-González, and I serve as the program specialist for the Equity Center and the Multicultural Center. With me is— one of our dear professors of biology who will be introducing herself as well.

Hi everyone, my name is Maura Palacios Mejia and I'm a professor of biology. So welcome, I'm so happy to see all of you here and we hope that you enjoy your time.

Maura will also be our MC tonight.

So I'm going to go ahead and bring up, uh, one of our students, Natalie, uh, who's going to go ahead and introduce herself first and then she's going to go ahead and introduce, um, her panelist.

Hi everyone, my name is Natalie Guillén. I'm a first-generation Second-year college student here at Mt. Sac. I currently serve as a STEM senator in Associated Students, um, a team captain on the Mt. Sac Robotics team, and I'm also part of the MESA program. It is my dream to work in the aerospace industry, and in my free time, I enjoy, uh, working on engineering side projects and also writing poetry. Um, it's my pleasure to introduce our first speaker, Dr. Reegan F.

Patterson. Dr. Reegan F. Patterson is an assistant professor of civil and environmental engineering at the University of California, Los Angeles, and the principal investigator of the Engineering Environmental Justice Lab. She was previously the Transportation Equity Research Fellow for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation and a postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research. Dr. Patterson earned her PhD in environmental engineering from UC Berkeley, her Her research focuses on air quality, sustainable transportation, community engagement, and environmental justice. More specifically, she examines and models the impacts of transportation and infrastructure policies alongside place-based community-driven interventions on air pollution exposure disparities and environmental justice outcomes.

Hello everyone, my name is Alejandra. My major is civil and environmental engineering. I am a student MESA ambassador and a fun fact about myself is I enjoy spending time at Tidepools.

It is also my honor to introduce Milan Foston. Milan Foston is a civil litigation and environmental law attorney and board member of Aquatic Futures Foundation. Milan is a PADI certified rescue diver and PADI divemaster candidate. Milan grows coral in her home reef aquarium and regularly scuba dives in the Pacific Ocean. In addition to her law degree, Milan has certificates in aquarium maintenance, global warming, marine biology, and Harvard Business School's Business and Climate Change course. Milan is trained in the ways businesses are adapting their customs and standards in response to the current climate environmental impacts on land and oceans. Milan uses her legal and scientific education to generate sustainability methods for private businesses while supporting marine conservation programs and providing insight into ocean and coastal law and policy. Fun fact, Milan is a PADI-certified mermaid.

Hi everyone, good afternoon. I hope you guys are doing well. My name is Ashley Navarez. I am a student of color here at Mt. Sac. It is my third year here as a bio major. A couple things about myself, my dream school is UCSD. Uh, I have a goal of obtaining a degree in biology there, and I have aspirations of becoming a conservation ecologi— a con— Conservation ecologist.

And I am very proud to introduce, um, one of our speakers today. Her name is Janielle Cuala. Janielle started at the LA Community College before she transferred to Cal State LA where she earned her bachelor's degree in biochemistry. Janielle is now a PhD candidate in medical biophysics at USC's Keck School of Medicine. Janielle at the Children's Hospital conducts research to find a cure for diabetes. She is also the president of the Graduate Student Government, and she represents 30,000 students as she tries to enhance graduate life. She is passionate about bridging science and leadership through biotech startups, nonprofits, science communication, and mentoring. A fun fact about, uh, Janielle is that she was born and raised in Guam and is now a certified scuba diver.

So we're gonna go ahead and start with our, our first set of questions, which are already kind of predetermined, and then we'll open it up for students to ask your questions. Um, so for these, the first one that we're gonna start with, it says, tell us a bit about yourselves and how you became interested in STEM. What kind of piqued that interest for you, and what is a contribution that you're most proud of?

So hi everyone, it's my pleasure to be here with you this afternoon. And so as mentioned in my bio, my name is Dr. Reegan Patterson. I'm an assistant professor of civil and environmental engineering at UCLA. And what got me interested in STEM was really my love of math and science. And so growing up, I was a total nerd, and I used to love playing a video game called Math Blaster. I don't know if it exists anymore, but— it does? Oh. Um, and so I would just spend so much time playing that video game, and then during high school, I'd really developed my love of science.

Taking all of the AP Physics that were offered. And so when you combine math and science, you get really engineering, um, particularly physics, um, and math. And so when it came time to pick a major, I turned to my mom. At that time, I wasn't like so many youth today who are engaged in so many great youth programs in engineering. I really just turned to my mom and said, "What should I major in?" She said, "You like math and physics, why not engineering?" And I said, "Well, now I ask, what engineering?" And she was like, "You like to recycle, civil environmental—" I said, "Sure." And that's where the journey really began. I thought I was going to go into industry, but there were so many offerings of summer research programs and, um, academic research programs. And the benefit is that you get research experience and it also pays. And as an undergraduate student, I really needed funds.

And so, um, through that research program, that completely shifted my trajectory because it really prepares you for graduate school. You're going to conferences, you're getting free GRE prep. Another benefit. Um, and so when it came time to graduate, it was really about going to graduate school. And so I ended up at UC Berkeley, and from there did a postdoc at the University of Michigan. But my journey— I believe in non— I am an advocate for nonlinear pathways where your path doesn't always have to be clear, because then I stepped away from academia and went into the policy world in DC. Um, I do policy-relevant research My postdoc was about do it— looking at upstream factors that influence downstream disparities. And so I said, let me go to DC.

And I was there for a couple of years. And I was like, I really love DC. I really love the policy space. But a mentor from UCLA sent me a job application. And I said, OK, maybe this is a sign. And I got the job. So I said, it's definitely a sign. Um, and so that's how I ended up back in academia.

But something I do like to share is that You can do whatever you want with a PhD. That's why I like having a PhD, um, because you can go into policy spaces, you're seen as an expert, and you can go into academia. You can really do whatever you want. Um, and so that touches on the last part. The contribution I'm most proud of is really creating a space for people who may not see themselves in traditional engineering spaces. I do environmental justice work. Um, I'm really a mentor and advocate for students who want to integrate social justice and environmental justice in engineering, particularly as doctoral students. Students.

And so my lab is very diverse. Um, it's predominantly women and, um, predominantly women of color. Um, and so very proud of just making that space and really creating a space that I wish I had when I was going through undergrad and graduate school. And so I'll say that is the thing that I'm most proud about as a faculty now at UCLA.

I'll go next. I need at least like 3 hours if you guys don't mind. I'm just kidding, but The shorter version of my story is that I fell into the STEM space by, um, the aquarium hobby. So I was one of those people who grew up with freshwater tanks the majority of my life, and when I was in law school, I decided to get my first saltwater tank. And that exposure into what goes on in the saltwater aquarium industry is what showed me how unethical it really is. And I'm just going to get straight to it. And so in understanding how we even get a lot of the marine —here in the States, um, via overseas trade and supply-demand. Um, there's just a lot of safety, environmental, um, and just overall just like ethical issues that prompted my interest in trying to dig deeper and figure out why, um, we don't have real regulation and legislation here in America when a lot of other countries that are the prime source of these uh, of this livestock does.

Um, so some people aren't aware, but depending on how you go with it, the aquarium industry can be crazy expensive. And so while I was in law school trying to navigate my passion project on the side, I just wanted to continue on in the legal space and learn how to protect myself and my family and my loved ones if I ever needed to. So that's how I fell into litigation. I have the honor to work for a women-owned law firm, and they've had me before law school, during law school, after law school. I'm coming on 10 years that I've been with them. It's an amazing space, so shout out to Skade Mills. Um, but ultimately, while I was working in my first set of years as a young litigator doing a lot of employment and personal injury matters and construction defect matters, I never lost the passion for the ocean space. —space and the aquarium space.

So like all of my paychecks were going to my aquarium. And that's when I realized that you can actually grow coral on your own. So then that prompted more questions of if I can grow coral in my family room, like why are we having a crisis in our oceans? But I was not versed enough at the time to understand the impacts of climate and that has on our oceans, right? So that's pretty much how we got here. So I started, like, self-educating myself, getting involved in ocean and coastal policy research, um, trying to find ways to draft and propose legislation even at a local level to start making a difference, because you have to start somewhere. So that's essentially how I have, like, a crossover blended background into the STEM space. And as of this last year, um, I've become a board member of Aquatic Futures Foundation, and we train young adults such as yourselves to become scientific scuba divers, and then we work to place you in jobs that can keep you in the ocean and diving and in your marine science career choice without you feeling like you have to sacrifice it going to work somewhere else that's not in your field. So being able to be part of two cohorts now's journeys to become scientific divers and see the work that we're doing and— is just totally amazing. So that's like another layer of myself in the STEM industry is just getting people into marine science jobs via scientific diving.

And recently I became a mermaid instructor, so that's another layer. So if anyone wants to mermaid, you know who to contact. Um, and one of the biggest contributions, honestly, I have to— it's, uh, I would say it's being part of the journey to see people who were not confident in themselves or unsure if they could ever learn how to dive, let alone go through all the layers of diving to become a scientific diver, is beautiful thing to experience. And then also just having grown coral myself, some very large pieces that I'm extremely proud of because I think it's just a showing of like, this is just one person at their home. Like, imagine what this could look like with like a vast amount of resources.

So how I got into STEM is also the ocean. I grew up on a very tiny island and I would go to the beach, my parents would take me to beach and I would stay at the beach. And then I just loved ocean animals. I love all animals. And then at some point, uh, there's only one college on Guam, and so my option was marine biology. There's no reg— there was no regular biology at the time, and so I actually moved because I wanted to explore what STEM meant because I knew I liked science. I knew I like engineering and all of these things. I didn't know what to do with that, and so I moved.

I think it's like 6,000 miles is the spiel that I went away from the beautiful island of Guam, uh, then I came here. I actually started off in SF, uh, I lasted a semester because it was too cold, and so I moved down here. I moved down to LA, um, then I went to community college, transferred, and I was in that moment, I was figuring out still what STEM pathway I wanted to go with. My family kind of pushed me towards taking some nursing classes, which is typical for my culture. I'm Filipina, and so I was doing both. I was trying these nursing classes and I was trying these other different physics classes, whatever. And so I was at a turning point and I had to decide whether or not I'm gonna go do one or the other. And, you know, my parents were telling me I should just get a job, whatever.

But I knew that I kind of didn't want that route. And so I, you know, this whole time, uh, time that I've been in my STEM career, it's for me. And so love my parents, and you know, at the end of the day, they're gonna be proud of me, and that's what they say. So now I finished my biochem bachelor's, and then I went straight to my PhD at USC. Um, and I'm still in STEM because of other women in STEM. I mean, Mara was my mentor, and, uh, now I mentor others. And so to see that paying forward type of thing, you know, when people on Guam hear that I'm here, or I meet someone from Guam— because it's very tiny, if you know anyone from Guam, I probably know them. Um, and so, oh, you do? We'll talk later.

Because if they're around my age, I probably went to high school with them.

Um, and so what am I the most proud of? I mean, there's a lot of things, but the most recent two things— I'm gonna steal the two. The first one is being elected as the president of the Graduate Student Government. It's really a different, uh, environment that I've been thrown into. It's interesting to see how universities work and how they think about making decisions for their students and being able to sit in these board meetings and advocate for graduate students. To remind them that graduate students have difficult— different lives than undergrads. And so that really kind of put what I want to do in the future in perspective. And the second one is I just recently wrote my first grant under my name as the principal investigator, and I got my grant from a diabetes foundation.

Awesome! Thank you, thank you for sharing that. I know, I know, y'all are doingamazing things, and thank you. That's beautiful, beautiful, inspiring. With that, y'all, we're going to go ahead and move on to our second question, which is, why do you think the participation of women of color in science and engineering is important?

So often we hear how diversity increases the innovation, the questions that get asked, particularly from an academic perspective. It's really important when it comes to the questions that get asked. So much one of the agenda is set by program officers, and so few program officers look like the folks in this room, and they set the, the research agenda that decides what does get funding. And so when you have women of color in STEM and engineering, you start to expand the kind of questions that even get imagined that can then even get funded. And so having that diverse perspective to ask different questions, And then the second thing is so many women of color in STEM, when we do ask these different questions, a lot of times we are more likely to have questions that are motivated by our communities. And so we're able to translate the science, this engineering, this technology back into what does it mean in terms of the material conditions of where we come from, in terms of improving health outcomes, environmental outcomes for the people that we love, the communities that we come from. And so we have that unique perspective that really translates STEM into impact. And so as a personal story, which kind of inspires my answer, is so I was the first Black woman to get a PhD in, in, in environmental engineering at UC Berkeley.

And my research was also— thank you, um, my research was also the first environmental justice dissertation in engineering. And I knew that I wanted to use this space because now I'm at— I did undergraduate research, as I mentioned, but now here I am at a— as a PhD student where you really get this space to explore questions that you really want to explore and, um, have novelties, but really, again, for me, root them in community. And so it was my time where during undergrad I learned that I do my community service and I go to school, but they were not linked. But in graduate school I said, why can't I do both? And I found that by doing environmental justice scholarship. And so to be completely honest, they tried to kick me out of the program twice because they were like, what's this social science? Because at the time environmental justice was, was not at the federal kind of recognition that it's getting today, particularly in engineering. And so they just did not have an understanding, but I persisted because that's what I wanted to do. And so again, pushing at the boundaries, making space for new questions, which then kind of relates to my first question of then I want to make space for students who do want to do things differently and not necessarily fit within the confines and the bounds of how things are currently defined by traditional and conventional folks. And so again, we bring a different perspective, but not only that perspective, we typically are the ones that then translate that into, into impact for our communities.

And that's really what drives all of my work.

I would say that obviously there's a lot of diversity in this room and we know that we come from backgrounds and generations of people who have made a huge impact in fields across the board here and around the world in America. And right now, while there's so much challenge and question and stereotype stereotyping and really just unverified attacks or critique and attacks on people of color. I think it's really important to counter that by just basically what the evidence is, which is that we're here, we are in these spaces, we've made great contributions in these spaces, and unless we're gonna erase history and data, then like, you know, it shows that it's necessary for us to be here. Um, I think it's really important for the future generations to see themselves in people who they think have made it already. I think personally for me, life is a never under— never-ending journey. You know, I went from thinking I wanted to be— own a hair salon, to fashion school, to law, to being a criminal defense attorney, to a civil litigation. Now I'm in STEM. Now I'm a mermaid instructor.

Like, where— what's going on? You know, but I think it's important to be able to be an example to those that are trying to find themselves because it's a lot easier to see the future if you can relate to the people who are already in the spaces and in the rooms that you want to be in. For me, I had the honor and the privilege of coming from a family that, that prided themselves in education on both sides. On my dad's side, they were really deep into education and medicine, and on my mom's side, everyone was in aerospace. And so just having come from a privileged background and owning that, I feel like it's my duty to kind of be that example and that the part of the village that helps get people to where they want to go as well, who are coming from families where they never thought being a marine biologist was a thing. You know, maybe they were pushed into another— a different career field because the family just didn't understand. Well, like, come sit with me, let's talk, and let's try and get your family support, or let me show you how you can, like, navigate getting other forms of support if you're not getting it in your home. It's a lot easier to communicate that with somebody that you recognize and relate to than someone that you don't. So that's, that's why it's important to me.

Uh, along my, uh, STEM career, people have told me, if you can see it, you can be it. And so that's kind of, uh, been true for me. Me every step of the way because I didn't know what I wanted to do, right? And so I left my home thinking I just do biology or be a medical doctor, you know, the typical pre-med turns into something else. And so I started off pre-med, I was pursuing my MD PhD route, I was doing the MCAT and whatnot. Then I started doing research because one of my professors just said, why don't you try doing research, maybe you'll like it, I think you'd be a fit. And so she— if my professor never told me that, I would never be sitting probably in front of you. And so it just takes that— it was— I don't even think she remembers it. I remind her all the time, and when I see her, because that was one of my turning points.

And so I think it's important because when you talk to different kinds of people about the different things that you're interested in, someone will— it'll click. It will be— you will feel comfortable with something that that you know you want to do and you want to try, and it just takes someone to kind of see that in you, that believes in you, that you can do it. And so for me, that was kind of the turning point where I decided to try, and here I am about to finish my PhD. And along the way during my PhD, there are many times where, uh, PhD is hard, I'm— but you know, it was my mentors. Uh, it just so happens that, uh, my mentor, she's a woman of color, and she exemplifies what I want to be when I grow up. And so seeing her work every day and advocate for her students, for herself in these meetings, in these rooms, I can see it, and she teaches me how to do it, and she doesn't even realize. And so being yourself in these, uh, like meetings that don't have people that look like you is uncomfortable, right? And so, but it inspires other people, just as how listening to these stories have inspired me, how all my mentors have inspired me. I try to do the same.

And so when you pay it back forward, it just, it keeps going. And so even though you may not realize, you may have said something and may have just helped someone push towards a career in STEM or whatever they wanted to do. And so I think that's why it's important to have a diverse set of people in a, in a room full of people that are making the decisions for other people, because we all have the same goal, right? We all want to have what's best for— like, in a school setting, in a university setting, all these admin people, their goal is for the students. It doesn't matter, like, where we came from or whatnot, we all— I just need to remind them that the students, they need to ask the students. And so that's why I think it's important to have a diverse set of people. And because if you can see someone that looks like you, that means you can keep that idea that you can be like that when you grow up. And that's what I remind my mentors all the time is, I want to be like you when I grow up. And all they tell me most of the time is they want me to be better than them.

Thank you so much. Very interesting career path that you've all taken, and thank you for sharing that. What advice do you have for women of color to succeed in STEM?

My answer to this actually builds off of what you were saying about showing up as yourself, where I do think it's important to show up as your authentic self, to advocate for yourself, and to do this work on your own terms. And so one of my mentors, Dr. Carolyn Finney, um, she would always say, um, when I was in graduate school, do the work on your own terms. So you have to obviously understand what you need to do to graduate, uh, what you need to do if you're in graduate school to publish. Now I have to understand what I need to do to get tenure. But beyond that, I still want to— everyone to show up, and this is something that I internalize, I show up fully as myself. And I realized that I'm actually more successful when I do show up as authentically as myself. I was starting to get invited to more conference panels when I started to share my truth and my, my full truth and not hide parts of me.

I— and it was interesting, I learned this in the policy space. I was getting invited to a lot of talks. And so to really do this work on your own terms. And so now I show up really unapologetically as a, a junior faculty at UCLA. And I think I surprise some of my colleagues 'cause they'll ask me something, I'll be like, "Nah." And then they're probably like, "You're a junior faculty." And I'll be like, "Nah." Uh, and I don't explain myself. I've learned never to explain yourself because people are not owed an explanation. No is a full sentence. And so, um, yeah.

And so I've realized, 'Cause folks often ask like, if you could tell your younger self, I'd be like, don't hide behind what you think you have to say, you have to do, there's a correct thing. No, be yourself. And then that also relates to my other piece of advice around nonlinear pathways. Don't be afraid if you're not 100% sure on what you want to do right now. And that's something I like to tell a lot of my students is try something because figuring out what you don't like is just as important as figuring out what you do like. Again, I thought I was gonna go to undergrad. I thought I was going to work— go immediately and work in industry. No.

In graduate school, I was motivated by a summer study abroad program in Geneva around environmental governance, so I thought I was gonna work at the World Health Organization. That didn't happen. Then I thought that I was gonna stay in DC, and folks were like, "You love DC, you're gonna stay there." I thought I was gonna stay there too. Never during graduate school— and one, um, I went to a conference and ran into someone who was— was at UC Berkeley when I was, and she was like, what happened? Last time I saw you, you were never going to be a faculty member. And I was like, I know, girl, and here we are. And I actually love what I do. So it's— don't be afraid of nonlinear pathways. Don't be afraid to show up as your full self.

Don't feel the need to apologize to anybody. Always be aware what you need to do, pass the exam, do what you need to do., but also always make sure to do it fully and authentically as yourself. And so I would say that is my advice I would share.

I, I love that. Yes to all of that. So yes to that. I would also say something that my grandfather would always, uh, teach my sister and I was never be afraid to literally ask someone for their help and support. I think we are in a very prideful society, fear-based society, whether it's real or not, and I understand that putting yourself out there can be scary, but you do miss 100% of the shots you don't— chances you don't take, shots you don't take, whatever. Yeah, so it's better to try and find out than to not try at all, and I think something that has definitely boosted my network building and— a variety of industries was me just constantly putting myself out there and meeting somebody, introducing myself. I would literally go on Eventbrite and like type in keywords like ocean, science, climate, you know, see what events are going on and go by myself. Like my best friends are here, she'll tell you, like I will go by myself and I'm like, I'm going to go with my little starfish clip and be like, hi, how are you? Like introduce myself and I meet some of the best people that way.

So don't be afraid to network. Because even though academics are— in academia is like your foundation, it's also about who you know and, and getting access to things and being aware of what things that you don't even know existed can come about through these conversations. Um, so yeah, I would say hardcore network. Don't be afraid to ask for help and support. Um, I get a lot of people who've reached out to me about law school, the craziness that can go on with there, and I'm happy to share my horror stories and how I got through it and basically be a system of support. And that's something that I found is a lot of people who you might view have made it or they're settled into their careers, we— a lot of us went through some stuff, you know, like we all, all probably have a story of some crazy setback or situation, um, that felt like a huge barrier that we had to overcome. So don't be afraid to reach out to people in those spaces because more likely than not, they will help you or try and find a way to support you or mentor you through whatever you're going through. But, you know, a lot of us are very busy, so a lot of us aren't necessarily doing direct outreach to every person everywhere.

So you have to make that initiative to basically be heard, you know. Um, another little nugget, and I'll just leave this with you because I like to leave this with everyone. Another thing my grandfather taught me was that when you meet someone, I know it's going to feel like really awkward at first, but, you know, you have a good conversation, shake their hand, exchange contact information. Ask for a photo. And I know it might seem a little invasive, and it's totally okay if people say no, but if you ask for a photo following wherever you were, you can send them an email with a photo and just remind them that it was a great opportunity to meet them. Because you never know, years down the line when you might want to reach out to that person, they'll remember who you are. They're not going to say like, who is this random person from what event 5 years ago? But if they see the photo or see your face, they're gonna likely be like, oh, I remember that person. And it just makes it easier to, to also show that you even reached out to them immediately after.

So that's just like another little nugget that I like to share.

I tell people to always remember to be kind to themselves. I think it's hard to remind yourself to be kind to yourself. It's easy to tell your friends. And so I'm the type of person that tells all my friends to make sure they are meeting their basic human needs. Did you eat, sleep, eat, Did you see your friends? Did you talk to your parents? All these little things that help you feel well, and then you'll do well. Because when you don't feel well and you don't take care of yourself, you can't be productive, right? It— the burnout is real. And so, uh, it's hard to do, right? I mean, just to say it is very easy, but to actually do it, I'm still figuring it out, right?.

And so I feel like if the foundation of you, then that means you can be your most authentic self and then you can go and change the world. And so, um, and then along the lines of take your shot— what is that? Shoot your shot. The worst answer is no, right? And so I think I have adopted that kind of mentality is if I used to be so uncomfortable asking for things or asking for help. I still kind of am, but now I kind of push through that because they're right. The worst thing is that they can say no, and that's not the end of the world, and my life will go on and it'll be fine. And so I think that moment of uncomfortableness, just try to push through it, even if it's just simply asking for, I don't know, help with the door or something. It starts with that. And then all these little things, and then eventually you'll find yourself saying no to the president of the university about something.

And so it takes time, and that's why I remind people to be kind to yourself, because things don't happen overnight. All of these things need to be consistently practiced. Taking care of yourself can be good one day, not good another day, but it's the overall that matters, and you matter, so don't forget to take care of yourself.

Great advice. All right, with that then, I think we're going to open it up, uh, to student questions or anyone in the room who'd like to ask a question.

I have a daughter that started in environmental engineering and she had a really hard time, just her first couple classes, that she— then the instructors felt that like she didn't belong there, that she wasn't smart enough. So how did you ladies overcome that?

Ooh, good question. You know, the first time I experienced that was actually in 4th grade where they didn't think I should be in accelerated math because I was a little Black girl. So it does not stop. Even in graduate school as faculty, people question my competence. So it does not stop. And so that's where I would say be certain in who you are and what your vision is, because there will always be someone telling you no, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not prepared enough. Oh, what— where are you from? Ooh, the, the schools there aren't really good. You sure? I had friends who went to HBCUs and got to UC Berkeley and they were like, we don't think you're prepared.

So there's always somebody who's going to try to push you out. They tried to push me out just because of the topic that I was interested in. You want to do environmental justice? That's not engineering. Yes, it is. You just apply our engineering methodologies, but whatever. So there's always going to be someone telling you you cannot, but it's really about being clear about who you are and why you're there. And so— and having that support. So the fact that you're here shows that she has support.

So having that support because navigating these spaces, we do all have our essentially trauma stories, and we would not have gotten through without community. And so clarity on who you are, clarity on why you're there, and clarity on I have people who are rooting for me who actually matter. So this person, I don't care. This person, I tell the people in my— naw, like, you're not why I'm here. So thank you. For your unsolicited advice, but you're not why I'm here. I'm here for this reason. And if you not that, you can say whatever you want.

And so again, but that comes with clarity, and that gets developed over time. Because let me tell you about how many tears I cried, how many times I called my mom and was like, Mom, I don't know if I can do it anymore. But again, I had that community where my mom was like, Remember where— who you are and where you come from. Remember what your grandmother had to go through. Remember what I had to go through. And so it's those reminders that come from community. And so I would say with the, the combination of that, yeah, people can talk all day and I'll be like, thank you, but no thank you.

So I know that was specific to engineering, but I had— I'll just share a brief moment that I had. Um, so I actually went to two law schools. The first law school was not a fit for me. Um, I thought I did my research in the program that I was entering in. I was completely wrong, and this particular school was known for having a notorious curve, which means you can pass all your classes and still fail out. Crazy, right? So yeah, that's a real thing. Yeah, that's why lawyers are the way we are.

But, um, yeah, um, basically what happens is they have the curve, and then depending on how they do the curve they might still drop what they deem as the bottom 20% of the class, even though that 20% may have all been passing. Um, so, you know, I— one of my classes, I got the second highest grade. Another class, I got an okay grade. Another one, I got a low grade, but they were still all passing. And when I was being threatened with academic dismissal, the dean of that law school, or the students, um, she literally had no idea who I was. I went to meet with her to see what I could do, um, understand how I could be at risk when I'm passing everything? And, um, she says, well, without actually paying attention to my work— and she was another woman of color, by the way, I know— she says, well, if this is your best work, then law school is probably just not for you. And like, mind you, like, you collected my tuition money for this semester. Like, I'm— I got a second highest grade in one of the classes.

Like, how could you formulate that? Um, so I knew I immediately needed to get out of there. So what I did was I called upon my community and we sent her 20 letters from 20 lawyers across 4 law firms basically saying how I've worked at all these places, they know I'm capable, and I need support in transitioning to a different school. I ended up leaving, starting over. So like having a break between law schools and essentially starting over law school at another school was really hard on my spirit. Everyone who goes into law school, you think you're the smartest person in the room until you're in a room with everyone, right? Who's the smartest person in the room? But it was the best thing for me because I went to a school that was a very safe space and actually was working with students to make sure everyone— as many people as they can get through, not just trying to make cuts, hoping that, like, only the top students would face the California Bar, because I'm sure you've heard those stories. But I got through the first time, first time bar passer. Um, and ultimately, I, uh, I just say that to say that that was one of my stories where I had another woman of color telling me that law school wasn't for me, but I got around that by changing my environment, but also calling upon my community to support me in my application to a new institution. And that happens.

I know a lot of people have had to switch institutions, um, especially in science, especially when you start getting really up in science, it can get kind of tricky, but Um, I just say that's when you definitely have to ask for help and call upon your community to see what other options you can have if it just overall is not going to work there.

We've survived 100% of our toughest traumas and we're still here. And so if we can do that, we— I think we can do a lot of things. And so just an advice is that how I got through those hard times Like, for example, my physics teacher telling me, "Why am I answering? I'm the only girl in the class." Or when I met— kind of, it was like a "don't meet your heroes" kind of moment. There is a professor that I met, and he is basically telling me all my work is, uh, useless, essentially, and will just be, um, out of the trend, I guess, in a few years. And that was 5 years ago. And I'm still doing what I'm doing. And so a lot of people can say no.

And honestly, I can say, looking back now, I can tell you that it's fine. But in that moment, my spirit kind of broke because this person who's kind of like a top person in the field telling me directly— and he knows this is a student kind of, uh, meeting. And so if he can just straight up tell me, and he's done this for a long time, I was inclined to believe him, right, that I— maybe I can't do it. And so through the tough times, it is hard to kind of ask for help, but asking your professors— like, someone said this, it's kind of weird to kind of tattletale, right? You know, the fact that I'm telling you right now, right? But I'm not mentioning any names, so you will never figure out who it is. Um, but just asking your professors, your friends, and your family these people are there to listen and support you, and it honestly goes a long way.

Thank you. My name is Brittany Tang. Thank you, ladies, so much for coming. Um, I really appreciate your presence here on, on this campus. From your various backgrounds, I wanted to ask if we make it in this— in our various STEM industries, but at a tier that is not as competitive as, say, Stanford or Harvard, how do we still compete with those brilliant peers of ours even though, you know, they're like breathing down our necks and, you know, especially in certain fields, you know, they try to squash us if they were from a UC school. And I, I want to ask this because A lot of students out here were coming to community college. We're not going straight into Ivy League schools. We're going roundabout ways to get an education. Some of us are from, um, disadvantaged backgrounds, and, you know, we come from complicated, complicated socioeconomic statuses.

And, you know, we're trying to make it here, but the, the whole mountain or climb, so to speak, is, is against us. So how would you say to a student who comes from this college who needs to fight and who needs to compete on an Ivy League school level, who says you aren't making the curve?

That's a great question, especially coming from a UC. I'm like, ooh, all right. But I think a big thing is the internships that you're taking getting or pursuing or the research depending on which kind of pathway you're navigating. And so for me, I have had students and I guess one is still working in my lab, actually two are still working in my lab who are transfer students at UCLA. And so, um, they got involved. One cold emailed the other one, the person who cold emailed, I'm like, you're a great friend. Was like, oh, I can't do it, but he can do it this— time, and I was like, okay, cool. And so then I met with him and I was like, perfect.

And so he was a summer researcher and now is continuing into research. And so those kinds of programs, I think, level the playing field. Getting involved, for me, it's research, but also internships. And how do you then do that? So a lot of times, um, students will still have opportunities to go to, like, I heard the robotics program from the one student. There's a lot of conferences that's accessible to everyone. And so if you're able to get into those conferences, that helps level the playing field because they have a huge career fair where they're looking for students. And if you can get an internship there, you're now interning with people from any school, but building those experiences, whether they're summer internships, summer research programs, um, students have literally cold emailed me, like I've said, and did summer research with me. Another student who is now pursuing her PhD at USC similarly cold emailed me, reached out, and did summer work with me.

And so getting those opportunities and not being afraid to ask. The students who I work with oftentimes who kind of get— are leveled up over just everyone else are the students who reach out to me individually and then set up a meeting based on— I review like, what are your interests? And EJ has to be one for me to even engage. But if the research interests align, I will take your— I will go from a cold email to a meeting. And so not being afraid to reach out again, whether that's industry or academia. And so I think that helps level that playing field. And internships pay, research pays. And even for students who worked in my lab, like the one student who reached out, um, she wasn't with a research program, but I will find funding because as EJ praxis, I believe in compensating people. And so I found funding to then, um, she didn't ask for funding, but I found funding for her just because, again, I don't believe in free labor.

And so I really commend those students who are willing to put themselves out there with those emails, because once you build that resume, you are on par.

I would say, although there is weight based off of where you went to school, or what I tell at least other young lawyers is like, don't put all the weight on the school, because like, although Yes, those schools have, you know, vast amount of networking opportunities and reputation. Day-to-day lawyering for me, like, really just comes down to your skill as a lawyer, right? I've seen lawyers from Harvard making the same as a local workers' comp attorney that's literally getting nothing. And I've also seen people that are in big law doing well, but you— I have friends that went to like a bottom-tier law school who have worked their way to be able to be qualified to be at the big law firms where they're like really— where they would predominantly recognize like the top-tier schools. So I think it really just also boils down to just being really good or like have like a really specific area that is not as targeted by a lot of people and just like being able to have a secure craft. That speaks to you and your abilities in that and your work that you've done. I think that that helps. I know it's a little different in STEM-specific, but for law, it's like you could have gone to the lowest unaccredited law school, got through the bar. I mean, you know, we know some celebrities are getting through, you know, and they didn't even go to law school.

So I just think it's, uh, the proof is in how you do and what you do with it, right, is what gains your, your own personal reputation. So I would just encourage that.

So I love this question because that's me. I went to community college, I transferred, I went to get my PhD. And so I'm not gonna lie and say it's— that's fine. Um, when I walk into a room and someone that will ask me, where did you go to undergrad? I say Cal State LA. And if my friend's sitting next to me and he says he's from UPenn, from Harvard or whatnot, they actually stop talking to me. They're not as interested. But then the night goes on and, you know, I'm just being me, and of course they want to keep talking to me.

And so it will happen where— it still happens till this day, and I think it will forever happen. And in the beginning, I had a hard time kind of deciding to go to community college because even my parents were like, okay, like, you went to, or you can— all your friends are going to Harvard, Yale, whatever. And I said, I'm not going to spend that much money, your money, if I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to do that. And so, okay, that's cool for them. I don't want to do that. And so I just kept doing what I wanted to do. And so I figured out a way to fund my own, like, schooling throughout from when I, uh, moved to community college till now. And what is really, uh, nice to see is that people from community college are very resilient and resourceful.

I had to find the resources. The resources weren't just there. I think that's the biggest difference between an Ivy League and a community college. You have to look for the resources other than— or compared to an Ivy League or even like USC to LACC or Cal State LA. At USC, it's just handed to you. It's just everywhere. There's so much information, so many opportunities, so many alumni. But when I was at Cal State LA, I had to go look for those things.

And so I've learned how to kind of be scrappy, be resilient, have that grit, and look for those opportunities. And now I sit in these rooms with my friends. They're all from Ivy League. We're all getting the same degree. We all have the same degree on paper. I could have went to these other schools that I got into. So I got into Caltech and I was picking between USC and Caltech because I loved Caltech. I spent two summers there and the whole world was like, go to Caltech, it's the more prestigious school.

I did my interviews, I didn't feel comfortable there. I spent two summers there, but when I was doing my interviews, I felt at home at USC. And so I wasn't gonna go to Caltech for the name because some of my friends did. They had a terrible time, and I'm having a great time. And so PhD is already hard, and I didn't want to make it harder just for a name. And at the end of the day, I'm doing the same thing my friend's doing at Caltech. We are having the same papers, the same prestigious papers. Doesn't matter where you do it, it's just a matter of you and how much you want to push and how much you want to look for these opportunities, because I think that's what I learned in community college.

It was hard to find a community. It was hard to find help, right? But when you get to that point where the resources are just even more vast, now you can take advantage of all those opportunities. And I think that's what you need to remember is keep that kind of looking for opportunities because they're there, just need to find them.

Hi, I would like to know what your biggest challenge was and how you overcame it in undergrad or your whole STEM major career?

Ooh, um, I'll say there's two that come top to mind. My first was during undergrad. So all K through 12, great at math, great at science. And then I got to my first upper— lower upper divs. So I actually went to UCLA for undergrad, and it was the first time where I was like, whoa, this is not as easy as I thought it was. And so hitting that first class of, wow, this is actually like— and school for me was everything. School was everything. And so to now be at a place where school was actually just very hard, navigating that when so much of my identity, I guess, was tied to school, being the good per— the kid who's always good at math and science.

That was challenging because now I'm like, oh, what do I do and how do I navigate a situation where I didn't do so well, um, one of my quarters? And so I was like, do I need to drop out? Am I not good? Do I need to leave engineering? And so it really hit at my core of, am I good enough? Because those first a couple classes really kind of just knocked me back, but I actually decided to stay in engineering, but just switch majors because I realized I just did not like the classes I was taking. So I actually majored— I switched from civil and environmental to chemical engineering, which sounds crazy, but I really liked chemistry. And so I didn't leave engineering, but that was also because of the support network. So there's a Center for Engineering Excellence and Diversity at UCLA, and so it was that community that really held me together when I really started to hit like, whoa, maybe I'm not actually as good at this engineering thing as I thought I was. So that was one challenge because that made me think maybe I need to leave engineering. The second challenge though that really also got kind of to my core and made me question everything about myself was when I was in graduate school and I was being told that the research questions I wanted to ask didn't matter. They weren't engineering, um, and so basically that I just was not good enough to stay in the program. And so I went to a meeting one day and my advisor literally had paperwork on his desk where he had done research on math, the math program within the Graduate School of Education, because I'd like to mentor Black and brown kids during the summer.

And so he was like, maybe that's where you should go. Like, he was prepared for me to Dip. Then another time I didn't pass my prelim exam because again they were like, these are not engineering— so during your PhD you take a preliminary exam, um, to basically say what you want to do your research on, and you have 3 faculty and they tell you yay or nay. And if you don't pass, then essentially you have 2 times to pass. If you don't pass 2 times, you're out of the program. So I didn't pass the first time, I go back the second time And they're like, "Mm, we're still not really sure about this research you're trying to pursue, but if you want to stay, you can stay, but we're really not sure." And so literally trying to prove that what I wanted to do was valid engineering research. So again, they, they tried my whole life multiple times. And so that was definitely a challenge, but it really was— and this relates to what we've been saying— community.

Because I'm, I'm hysterical, I'm crying. I tried to hold tears when they left the room, but they started to come out. I was like, don't let these white men see my tears, but they got a few and I was really upset about that. But calling my mom, leaning on my, um, community, because I'm just like, what I want to do, like, I am not doing a traditional engineering. That's not what I'm here for. That's not what I'm passionate about. That's not what's going to get me through. And so I was like, what am I going to do if I'm going to stay? How am I going to do this? And so leaned on network, leaned on support, had meetings with other faculty on how to navigate it, ended up creating a dissertation that applied the methodologies of the lab but just to EJ questions.

So making it legible to them, but really situated within and grounded within community because that's what I'm about. So one being making it seem like engineering— I'm not good enough to be an engineer, uh, when I started hitting classes where I didn't get the best grades, but then just changed majors and got better. But then the second was literally being told daily. It got to the point, to the point where I would say something or I would write something and I— my advisor, I'd ask him to review the paper and he would be like, oh, well, I actually heard a different statistic from a white man. And so he didn't review— so that was the response to my email to review the paper. I'm like, what's that got to do with this? So then I had to give the citation that supported my— what I had said to then make him believe me over that other person. Like, that's what I'm navigating in my 2013 to 2019 master's and PhD at UC Berkeley, on top of then being asked to switch to the Graduate School of Education because I like to mentor Black and brown kids. And on top of then being like almost dismissed because they didn't think my research was valid because I wanted to do community-engaged research and do research based on EJ.

So those hits, those hit a lot, um, but again, community. I could not have made it particularly through grad school without my community, some of my best friends to this day, because we're essentially trauma bonded because we all went through— like, people had Talk about internalization of stress. People have all sorts of ailments, stomach pain, hair thinning. And then once we graduate, we're like, oh, our hair started to grow back and the eczema went down. And so it's a lot. Graduate school is a lot, which is the importance of— I'm so glad you have an advisor that you like because that makes all the difference, all the difference. But that was definitely two of the challenges that really kind of knocked me back. But but because of community, definitely made it through.

Very real. Okay, so I have 3. We already covered the second one, my trauma, you know, uh, switching law schools and all of that. So my first barrier or setback or difficult moment I had was in undergrad. My dad passed away when I was 20, and he passed away suddenly a week before finals. And, um, I still took my finals and I passed all my classes, and I did that because I just knew that with my dad being such an amazing person and supporter and educator and doctor, like, he would want me to take these finals. Like, don't mess up an entire semester. You're at the end, push through.

And I did, and I got through, and that was the first time I realized how strong I actually was. Then, you know, we go to the law school. We already heard that story, you know, so that was like, oh my gosh, I'm like fighting a law school and going to— and trying to get into another one. And, you know, I'm scared, and I don't know what my future holds, and I don't know what my life will look like if I actually don't become a lawyer. Like, all of that stress. Like, it's, it's heavy and it's hard, especially when your whole community has been watching your journey, and so you also have eyes on you. So it's like the social pressures of like, I don't want people to know that this is going on, you know. So I went through all of that, um, then once I get through law school, in my last semester, COVID hits, um.

So now I went through all this drama, switching schools, starting over, getting through, getting on the dean's list, getting the top grade in 3 of my classes, like fighting to prove a point that I belong here, I'm qualified, now I can't even have a graduation. I mean, that was very selfish of me, but like, in the thinking of it, like, oh my gosh, like, this is the end. Like, this is— this can't be how, like, grad school ends. But then we get through that, right? I'm like, okay, I had an online at-home graduation, fine, but now we're studying for the bar exam. And typically the bar cycle is about 2 and a half months of study. Ours went on for over 5, and if you know any other lawyers or people who went to law school, when you study for the bar, you have to study every day. You have to keep touching the material. They purposely bombard you with a lot to remember.

So if you stop, you start to forget. And, um, just going through that for 5 months straight completely like warped my life. At that point, people are outside dining. I'm still sanitizing groceries, you know, trying to like just memorize things and make sure I understand every single I don't want any surprises. And, um, and I got through it and I got through it with my bar partner and we each passed the bar and it was like such a beautiful moment. We were crying and like I had all the love from like my family and my community once we got those results. But even taking the bar was crazy 'cause we were the first bar that was, um, online. So we normally take bars in like, uh, huge convention centers, right? It's like hundreds of people on top of each other.

We couldn't do that 'cause of all of the restrictions, if you guys remember. So they had to come up with a system, use us as the guinea pigs, and there was so much drama of like, oh my gosh, they can't verify you 'cause you're a person of color. And like, oh my gosh, now the, the bar website shut down with the passwords to even access this exam and that exam. So it was so much stress that, um, I definitely came out as a different person. But to have been able to stay the course while I saw others fall off and stay— keep the— my eye on the prize of getting through and just Keeping that mentality of like, this is already mine, it's just for me to reach and grab, is what got me through all of those moments. And now that I'm, you know, well into my career, really happy, so many things have come full circle. I'm in a space now to be that person to the people who are climbing the ladder because I'm like, if I can go through all of that, you can get through this and I'm— we're going to find a way. So I just think that those are like the top 3 moments that were really, really difficult for me to navigate, and we got through it, and here we are.

My biggest but best challenge is going to be my family. I left home, uh, when I was 18, and I have— I'm a— I'm the youngest of 4. My brother is 18 years older than me, then it's 16 years older, then 14 years older. So when I was 10, my, my mom gave birth to me when she was 40. So when I was 10, my siblings left Guam and, you know, to go on with their lives because they needed to get jobs and whatnot. And so I became the only child. And so after that, I was the one responsible for taking care of my mom.

My mom's what, uh, like 60— well, she's 40 years older than me, right? And so my mom has diabetes, and so I took her to her, her doctor's appointment. She was a stay-at-home mom because she wanted to take care of her kids, and then I came along, surprise, another time. And so I've always felt like the caretaker of my mother. And, you know, I am always going to be grateful that she gave me an opportunity to have a life. And the thing is, ever since I was 10, because I took care of her, I had the hardest time leaving. Because before— right before I left, a doctor told me that, please take care of her because whatever, whatever. So these doctors were putting it all on me and I was leaving. And so I had to decide.

There was a part of me that really just wanted to stay and take care of my mom. But if I didn't leave, I would not have set up all of these things. And so sure, it was hard to kind of separate. And that's why I'm grateful for my dad because he kind of took on the responsibility. And until this, this moment, right? Like, I'm still doing— or like working on my career instead of the typical thing in our culture is that kids are supposed to take care of their parents. My parents are getting old and I always fight with that, right? Because there's always moments of like, I should be doing this instead of that. But at the end of the day, it's what I want to do and what I have to do for myself. And because my parents aren't going to be around my whole life, right? But this is my life.

And so I think my biggest challenge is kind of balancing that kind of guilt of being my mom's caretaker. Um, and so I think during my PhD, I started PhD in 2019, you know, joined my lab in 2020. So you can only imagine what that experience was. It was a very unique PhD experience, start of my PhD, but also my parents moved to San Diego. And so that separation of me not having to worry about them anymore kind of came closer. And this is ultimately why I didn't go to UCSD. But essentially COVID happened and whatnot, you know, my parents eventually got COVID and at some point my mom got pneumonia and she was in the ICU for like 3 months. And so my dad was working, I was doing my PhD, but guess what? I'm the only one that doesn't— didn't have a real job.

And so I was the one with the flexible schedule that can go down to San Diego. Go maybe like once or twice a week to go take care of my mom and then come back and do my experiments and then repeat. So in that moment, I grateful for my family because they were— they're letting me kind of figure it out and try to help them, but they're also trying to help, right? And so that's the— it takes a village thing. But the second thing is my mentor, the moment that I told her about all of these things, She understood, and so she gets it. Family is very important to her. It's very important to me, and it's always gonna— I'm always gonna pick them over my experiment because I can do my experiment later. I can write that paper later, but me taking care of my mom or seeing my mom, like, that's not gonna be forever, right? And so I was really grateful to have that opportunity with my mentor, and without that, right? And so I think the biggest challenge is still even now Uh, my parents moved back to the Philippines. Even now, if I get a phone call and I'm in the middle of experiment, I always have to struggle with that choice.

My mom's calling, is she in the hospital? Like, what do I do here? Do I stop my experiment and just go? And so I'm actually sitting on that information right now. Like, I'm deciding right now if I should go to the Philippines because she's in the hospital, right? And so do I— I'm in the middle of finishing my like last experiments. And so do I— like, but the thing is, my mentor is working with me on this, and so we're trying to figure out a way for me to go but also finish, because I'm almost there. I was at the finish line. I'm not— I can't stop, right? But I also can't just forget that, you know, I care about my family stuff. And so I think that's the biggest challenge, is that you have to prioritize what you care about. And this whole time I've had to kind of figure that out for myself. And so I will always pick— there's like buckets in my life: my family and like some of my friends who I consider some of my siblings, and then there's work, because work can be done later.

But that moment of being with your friends and family, uh, that's what I care about. And so What's gotten me through this challenge is, again, be kind to yourself because you're doing the most. And so I tell you that, but I need to tell myself that almost every day. And so getting through these challenges is not easy, but it's doable because you have a support system. It takes a village. And again, just be kind to yourself because you're trying, you're trying your best. So yeah, so I'm trying to leave you with half your advice, which is please remember to take care of yourself and meet your basic human needs because You can't do well if you're not well, so...thank you.

Thank you for listening to the Mount San Antonio College Podcast, brought to you by Mt. SAC's Pod Office and created in partnership with Avant House Media. Original music created and edited by Neera Azira. Be sure to check out our growing library of over 230 episodes and let us know your thoughts. You can reach me, Chisa Uyeki, at c— u— y— e— k— i— @mountsac.edu. Wishing you an amazing year and happy listening.