Shownotes
Nina Rodriguez’s brother and only sibling, Yosef, died unexpectedly on September 11, 2019, the day after his 32nd birthday. This is her story and she is RESILIENT A.F.
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About the Guest:
Nadjalisse 'Nina' Rodriguez is founder of Grief and Light, Podcast Host, and a Certified Grief Guide. She created the Grief and Light Podcast after the sudden and unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef, as an authentic exploration of grief and life after loss. Through each conversation, she aims to give a voice to the griever’s experience, and foster a more grief-informed, hopeful world. Beyond the podcast, Nina extends her heart-centered support through Grief and Light: The Community, monthly circles, 1:1 grief tending sessions, speaking engagements, active presence on social media, and forthcoming in-person retreats. She has been featured in various publications and podcasts, regularly contributes to Get Griefy Magazine, and has completed the Grief Care Professional Certificate Program under renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author of It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine.
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⚠️ Content Note: Some episodes may contain themes that could be distressing. Please take care of yourself while listening, and don’t hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional if needed.
About the Hosts:
Blair Kaplan Venables is a British Columbia-based grief and resilience expert and coach, motivational speaker and the Founder of The Global Resilience Project. Her expertise has been featured on media platforms like Forbes, TEDx, CBC Radio, Entrepreneur, and Thrive Global. She is named the Top Grief and Resilience Expert of the Year 2024 by IAOTP. USA Today listed Blair as one of the top 10 conscious female leaders to watch and she empowers others to be resilient from stages around the world. 'MyStory,’ which is a television show available on Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV+ and Google Play, showcases Blair's life story. She is the host of the Radical Resilience podcast and specializes in helping people strengthen their resilience muscle using scientifically proven methods and guides grieving high performers with her Navigating Grief Framework. The Global Resilience Project’s award-winning book series are international bestsellers, and her fourth book, RESILIENT A.F.: Stories of Resilience Vol 2, will be published in January 2025. In her free time, you can find Blair writing, in nature, travelling the world and helping people to strengthen their resilience muscles.
Links:
https://theglobalresilienceproject.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/blairdkaplan
https://www.facebook.com/blair.kaplan
https://www.facebook.com/BlairKaplanCommunications
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https://www.instagram.com/blairfromblairland/
https://www.facebook.com/globalresiliencecommunity
https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-global-resilience-project
Alana Kaplan is a compassionate mental health professional based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She works in the mental health field, and is a co-host of the Resilient A.F. podcast. Fueled by advocacy, Alana is known for standing up and speaking out for others. Passionate about de-stigmatizing and normalizing mental health, Alana brings her experience to The Global Resilience Project’s team, navigating the role one’s mental health plays in telling their story.
Engaging in self-care and growth keeps her going, and her love for reading, travel, and personal relationships helps foster that. When she’s not working, Alana can often be found on walks, working on a crossword puzzle, or playing with any animal she sees.
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Transcripts
Some grievers, some people who lost, especially somebody traumatically or
Speaker:there's a level of stress attached to the loss
Speaker:sometimes have traumatic dreams. So it also works to decrease
Speaker:the rate of your traumatic dreams. And it's just
Speaker:fascinating because at the end of the day, don't question whether
Speaker:or not it's real. It's not real. If it brings you
Speaker:comfort and peace and whatever, by all means, just take it for
Speaker:what it is. And that's it. Welcome back to another
Speaker:episode of Resilient AF with Blair and Alana. But
Speaker:today it's just Blair. But not just Blair, it's also
Speaker:Nina Rodriguez. I met her through the grief community and
Speaker:she's such a light and I'm honored that her story
Speaker:is going to be in Resilient AF Stories of Resilience
Speaker:Volume 2. She's absolutely amazing. She's the founder of Grief and
Speaker:Light podcast host and a certified
Speaker:grief guide. She created the Grief and Light podcast after the
Speaker:sudden and unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef,
Speaker:as an authentic exploration of grief and life after
Speaker:loss. Through each conversation she aims to give
Speaker:a voice to the griever's experience and foster a more grief informed,
Speaker:hopeful world. Which is why, well, one of the reasons I love
Speaker:her. One of the reasons, because let's normalize these conversations.
Speaker:Let's prepare, right, let's, let's talk about it. And beyond this podcast,
Speaker:Nina extends her heart centered support through Grief and Light, the community
Speaker:monthly circles, one on one grief tending sessions,
Speaker:speaking engagements, active presence on, has a very active presence on
Speaker:social media and forthcoming in person retreats. That's
Speaker:amazing. She's been featured in various publications, on podcasts,
Speaker:regularly contributes to Get Griefy magazine and she has
Speaker:completed the Grief Care professional certificate program under renowned
Speaker:psychotherapist and bestselling author, it's okay that you're not okay,
Speaker:Megan. Is it divine? Megan Devine. Yes, Megan Devine. I actually really
Speaker:love that book. So that's cool that you trained under her and you can learn
Speaker:more about her@griefandlight.com, her links are below. But without
Speaker:further ado, hello Nina. Hello
Speaker:Blair. Hello audience listeners. And wherever you're tuning in from,
Speaker:it is such an honor to be here and to be having this
Speaker:conversation with you. Thank you so much for this space and having me.
Speaker:I, you know, I want to dive into
Speaker:your story and I just want to first say like, I really appreciate how you
Speaker:show up and how you're open to talking
Speaker:about grief and your experience losing your brother. I
Speaker:have, I have never lost A sibling. So I can't imagine how
Speaker:painful it is. So I just want to acknowledge that. I
Speaker:really appreciate you stepping forward and being a voice in sibling loss.
Speaker:It's. It's really important work and I would love to learn more about you
Speaker:and yosef. Thank you so much. And yeah, sibling loss,
Speaker:I mean, every loss has its own nuances. And
Speaker:I know you've experienced multiple losses. So in the world of
Speaker:grief, one thing I've learned is that the worst loss, quote, unquote, worst loss
Speaker:is really just our own. It's whatever touches us personally.
Speaker:And unfortunately, my experience began with the loss of my brother.
Speaker:Joseph, who was Bodo, if you're watching, is right behind me. He's always
Speaker:the my why he's the reason behind everything that I've done
Speaker:in the grief space. And he passed September 11, 2019.
Speaker:The day after he turned 32. We at the
Speaker:time I was working in real estate and it was an average,
Speaker:uneventful Wednesday. I happened to call
Speaker:him on facetime the day of his birthday and
Speaker:he. Everything seemed fine. Next thing I know,
Speaker:something I got this intuition, this call to say
Speaker:to my husband at 7 o' clock in the evening after a long workday,
Speaker:if we could. If we could drive over to see my brother
Speaker:to sing Happy Birthday. I just. Something in me really, really wanted to sing Happy
Speaker:birthday to him on that particular day. So we drove an
Speaker:hour north because it's not that close, and
Speaker:we sang Happy Birthday and it was a lovely time. I
Speaker:thought it was interesting because my parents ended up showing up and my
Speaker:mom starts retelling the story of my brother's birth. And I thought that was
Speaker:interesting because it wasn't a typical conversation. So she's saying,
Speaker:oh, when you were born, this and that. And I videotaped that encounter.
Speaker:And it was just such a beautiful moment. My brother says, thank you, mom. Thank
Speaker:you dad. Thank you sister. Thank you to everybody that was there. He went
Speaker:person by person, thinking. And I have the video of that,
Speaker:not thinking anything of it. We go back home the next
Speaker:day. I get the call. And ironically, we had
Speaker:FaceTimed about three hours before I got the call.
Speaker:And so I saw his face. And I remember he was walking outside towards my
Speaker:grandmother's house. He was supposed to dogs at our uncle's pet for the weekend.
Speaker:He was going there to meet my uncle to get the dog. He's walking outside,
Speaker:the sun is on his face. And it just looked angelic. I remember that was
Speaker:the word that crossed my mind. He looks so angelic and
Speaker:not A word that I typically think about. Again, didn't think
Speaker:anything of it. Three hours later, approximately, I get the call from
Speaker:my dad. And it just. Something in
Speaker:me broke. Something in me disconnected because I said, what
Speaker:are you saying? I literally just was with him yesterday.
Speaker:I saw him on FaceTime a little bit ago. And
Speaker:in that moment, I don't. I can't remember if I fell to the
Speaker:ground, if I screamed. I don't. I don't know what happened. I just remember this
Speaker:very strong disconnection from who I was and the
Speaker:motions of life. I told my husband we
Speaker:drove. I remember seeing a full moon lighting the path. I was
Speaker:so angry at the moon because I was thinking, did the energy
Speaker:of the moon, like, really mess with my brother? Like, what happened? Why
Speaker:is this happening? And long story short, we.
Speaker:I was catapulted into the world of grief and loss. He was my
Speaker:only sibling. I have a small family. It's mom, dad, and brother.
Speaker:And there at the time, it was September 2019. At the time,
Speaker:when I looked for information, I honestly could not find much.
Speaker:It was the stages of grief. Sibling loss was, like,
Speaker:nowhere to be found. Sibling loss is often referred to as the
Speaker:forgotten mourners because everybody asks, how are your parents doing?
Speaker:How's your mom? How's your dad? And the grief of a sibling is often
Speaker:looked over and unacknowledged. And
Speaker:shortly thereafter, we experienced the pandemic, which
Speaker:added another layer of instability,
Speaker:insecurity, questioning our future and
Speaker:where life was going to take us. And me
Speaker:really trying to understand, what the heck is this grief thing? The worst
Speaker:thing I had ever experienced was about three weeks to get over.
Speaker:So I said, let's double that time. Six to eight weeks. I
Speaker:should be over. This definitely was not. I asked a friend, she
Speaker:said, oh, honey, this is for a lifetime. And I got
Speaker:so a little bit angry at her for saying that, because I was like, well,
Speaker:that's your experience. That doesn't have to be my experience. That could be
Speaker:your lifetime. And funny enough, you
Speaker:know, the more you learn about grief, the more you learn about loss. It truly
Speaker:is an experience to be lived with.
Speaker:It evolves as your life evolves. And if it's related
Speaker:to the loss of a person or pet or a beloved, it's
Speaker:something that accompanies you throughout your whole life. And
Speaker:at the end of the day, it's very unique to each person, which is part
Speaker:of the journey that we've been on since.
Speaker:Wow. Thank you. Thank you so
Speaker:much for sharing that, and I am so sorry. For such a
Speaker:devastating, heartbreaking loss and, you know, like,
Speaker:leading up to it, all the time, you saw. You got to go wish him
Speaker:happy birthday in person. And facetiming him.
Speaker:What do we know what caused his
Speaker:death? Yes. So in on his death
Speaker:certificate, it says found, which I feel it's almost poetic.
Speaker:He was found. He passed away in my grandmother's house. And when I read
Speaker:the autopsy report, all I saw was fentanyl.
Speaker:So he passed away, I'm assuming from fentanyl poisoning.
Speaker:And he had struggled with addiction for many years,
Speaker:and it was something that we had to live with.
Speaker:Addiction has formed a part of my life since I was about 14,
Speaker:15 years old, which is when it all started. And ironically,
Speaker:this was the strongest I had seen him. He
Speaker:had even gained a little bit of weight because he was in recovery.
Speaker:He was going through therapy. He was getting his life in order. He was calmer.
Speaker:And so I, for once, had faith that maybe we're
Speaker:on the path to recovery, like the permanent path to recovery. Right?
Speaker:Yeah. And unfortunately, if you've experienced
Speaker:addiction or know somebody or love somebody who's experienced addiction, you know
Speaker:that it's anything but predictable. It's always a surprise. It's like a
Speaker:box of chocolates that nobody wants.
Speaker:But I was hopeful. You know, we were all very hopeful.
Speaker:He had been sober for over a year and a half, so it was a
Speaker:bit of a surprise to see that on the report.
Speaker:That's so hard. It's so hard. An addiction is such its
Speaker:own character of beast. Like, I'm sorry you went through that.
Speaker:You know, addiction's a family disease. It's a community disease. And
Speaker:I know this because my father lived with addiction. And there was a
Speaker:couple times where, like, we got phone calls that he was in the hospital and
Speaker:to prepare to come home, and he came through. But in the
Speaker:end, like, his addiction did kill him, but it was like more of a slow
Speaker:death that evolved from a disease. So my heart goes out to you and your
Speaker:family, you know, having to navigate addiction. And
Speaker:that's interesting, that on the death certificate it said found. I
Speaker:thought that was weird. And I don't know if they've updated that, and I honestly,
Speaker:if they have, I haven't wanted to look because I almost. It's like
Speaker:they found him. He's been found somewhere, I guess. Like, he found
Speaker:peace. He found peace from maybe. Maybe.
Speaker:Well, I mean, I sure want to believe that
Speaker:he. Wherever he is now, he's no longer in pain. I would love that.
Speaker:And I think, you know, I Started having a lot of spiritually
Speaker:transformative experiences after his passing,
Speaker:especially in the form of dreams. And I did a podcast recently with
Speaker:Dr. Joshua Black of grief dreams. And so what
Speaker:I started to do is record any, like, unusual thing I
Speaker:notice, like, any synchronicities, any signs. And I asked my parents
Speaker:to do the same. I said, could you please, please, please let me know
Speaker:anything that shows up for you related to my brother?
Speaker:So. So I started putting them in the notes section of my phone. And I
Speaker:had. At first, I didn't know how to interpret the dreams. I just made nothing
Speaker:of it. But with time, I noticed, oh, my gosh, these dreams are
Speaker:like, they have messages and they're very real. And some of them,
Speaker:I would say like 90, 95% were regular dreams,
Speaker:but about 5 to maybe 10% felt like
Speaker:visitations. And so five years and three
Speaker:months later, I have over 200 dreams of my
Speaker:brother on. Recorded on my phone. Wow. Which
Speaker:have had, like, real life consequences. So
Speaker:something I can say now that I couldn't say in the early days is
Speaker:I do believe there's life after life. Death is but a
Speaker:continuation of the cycle of who we are. I do believe
Speaker:that we are a spirit having a human experience. And this is
Speaker:our current, present incarnation. This is something that
Speaker:each person has to arrive on at on their own. It's not
Speaker:something that I force on people, especially if I work with grievers. I don't tell
Speaker:them what to believe. This is just something that is true to
Speaker:me, and I have found through the messages and the dreams and the
Speaker:signs and the synchronicities. And I personally believe it's a
Speaker:language that we develop with our person, with our
Speaker:guides, with whatever it is that we choose to connect to and believe
Speaker:in. So my heart tells me, my intuition tells me, the
Speaker:dreams tell me that he's okay and whatever next iteration
Speaker:of his life that he's moved on to is exactly where he needs to be
Speaker:right now. But we miss him. The human side of
Speaker:me misses him like crazy and obviously feels the grief and the
Speaker:pain. But the fact that he's my why behind
Speaker:this work and has led me to so many beautiful connections, including
Speaker:yourself. And I see the resilient AF book there
Speaker:right behind you, so. So I know it's packed with stories
Speaker:of people who have gone through similar situations. Just the fact that
Speaker:we get to talk about them, we get to do this work, we get to
Speaker:connect to each other. I just feel it's like the.
Speaker:The ripple effect of this love we have for them.
Speaker:That's not to say they had to die for us to be here.
Speaker:I believe we could have gotten to hear whatever this iteration of our
Speaker:lives is in a different way, but it's the one that showed up in
Speaker:our lives and here we are. And I am appreciative of that. Yeah, I, I,
Speaker:I, I. That is so poetic and so beautiful and there's so many things to
Speaker:unpack there. Okay, so I'm going to come back to the dream thing, but I
Speaker:just want to say like, and I say this all the time and like, I
Speaker:don't know if I, I probably didn't invent this, but like, we, we grieve hard
Speaker:because we love hard. You know, grief is a part
Speaker:of love and we
Speaker:can grieve and we can like be sad and
Speaker:grieve and be happy and live meaningful lives at the same time. Like,
Speaker:it's not grief or this other thing. It's grief and
Speaker:it's grief and, and it's because we're carrying this, this love with us.
Speaker:So I think that's really beautiful now. Oh my gosh. Dreams. Okay.
Speaker:I love this. I'm Woo. And like, I'm also like, I'm a Woo Jew. Woo
Speaker:Woo, Juju, whatever. I don't impose anything on
Speaker:people. I share my experience, just like you. Right. And
Speaker:I moved away from my hometown in
Speaker:Winnipeg, Manitoba when I was 21, which
Speaker:was almost 20 years ago. Oh my God, I'm so old. Anyways,
Speaker:and yeah, so because I moved across the country, across Canada,
Speaker:I only would see my mom a few times a year. Like, yeah, we had
Speaker:FaceTime and stuff, but like in person. I'd go to Winnipeg a couple times a
Speaker:year and sometimes we'd go on vacation and sometimes she'd come to us. So maybe
Speaker:four times if I was lucky. And ever since, like
Speaker:ever since my mom died. So for those of you who are new to this,
Speaker:this podcast, I had a lot of loss in my, In a
Speaker:very short period of time. I had, I've had a lot of loss also outside
Speaker:of that, but in a very short period of time. My husband almost died.
Speaker:He's alive. Thank God. Thank, thank whoever, thank spirit.
Speaker:We suffered a miscarriage. My father in law passed away a few weeks
Speaker:later, my mother passed away a few months later and my dad died. All within
Speaker:a very short period of time. And I've also lost an aunt
Speaker:and both my grandfathers and one of my grandmothers.
Speaker:And all of those people come to me in my dreams, but not all the
Speaker:time. My dad, I had A really cool experience with my dad because
Speaker:my dad really suffered. And he went out,
Speaker:like, he. He fought till the very end. Like, he. He held on.
Speaker:And it's so interesting because he didn't come to me right away. And I had
Speaker:this dream that was so real. And. And, like, on the dream, I was trying
Speaker:to call Shane, my husband, and, like, the lines kept getting crossed. And I was
Speaker:like, my dad was there. I'm like, dad, I'm trying to call Shane. Like, what
Speaker:are you doing? And he's. I'm like, wait, dad, how are. How are you? He's
Speaker:like, I'm doing really good. Like, I love it here. And
Speaker:I was like, I. I woke up and I was like, whoa. My dad talked
Speaker:to me like, goosebumps. But my mom comes to me
Speaker:all the time. Like, I. I think I see my mom more now in my
Speaker:dreams than I did when she was alive. And I hold on to that.
Speaker:And during, like, life, I. I see signs. And I'm going to share this story
Speaker:quickly because, like, you understand signs. Like, I
Speaker:started documenting them, but they happen sometimes so fast that, like, and my
Speaker:mind is all over the place with my ADHD and, like, the million things I'm
Speaker:trying to do to change the world. But I very much acknowledge the sign when
Speaker:I see it. And I recently was, like, questioning my purpose on
Speaker:this planet. I had a really long car. Drive. Car, like, by myself, a road
Speaker:trip. And I was like, out loud. I'm like, mom, send me a sign. Like,
Speaker:let me know I'm on the right path. Like, am I doing the right thing?
Speaker:Because I'm in a space of innovation. And, like, financially, it's scary.
Speaker:Like, I'm not, you know, it's. It's not like my PR agency or having a
Speaker:job. Like, I'm taking a lot of risks, and, like, I don't. I know it's
Speaker:right on the soul level, but, like, is this sustainable?
Speaker:And the answer is yes. But, like, I, you know, question myself.
Speaker:And I was like, mom, send me a sign. Send me, like, an eagle or
Speaker:a peacock. And, like, I'm driving to Montana. Like, you know, eagles maybe, but, like,
Speaker:peacocks. Anyways, so I get to the border from Canada, the
Speaker:US And I'm like, I have to go. The washroom. Where is it? And the
Speaker:border security guy's like, well, we only have outhouses. Honey buckets,
Speaker:he called them. But half an hour down the road is
Speaker:a cafe called Sharon's, and that's my mom's name.
Speaker:I was like, okay. I didn't I couldn't find Sharon's, by the way, but, like,
Speaker:knowing that it was somewhere out there. And so then I'm driving, and I'm like,
Speaker:mom, was that the sign? Because, like, that's not what I asked for, but, like,
Speaker:that. I get it. And then an eagle. As I'm asking that out loud, an
Speaker:eagle swooped down in front of me. I was like, okay, that was for sure
Speaker:the sign, right? And an
Speaker:hour later, another eagle swooped down in front of me. I'm like, okay, I'm on
Speaker:the right path. I get it. And then I got to my friend's place, and
Speaker:another one of my friends was there, and he showed me his sketchbook, his art
Speaker:book, and I flipped, and it was very. It's full. I just randomly opened it
Speaker:to a quote about peacocks. Oh. I was like, okay.
Speaker:Three, four. Three. Yeah. So I was like, that's four signs. That's
Speaker:Sharon. Two eagles and a peacock. Like, I get it. I am on the right
Speaker:path. So signs are all around us. Like, are our eyes
Speaker:open for them? And, like, in our dreams, like, are we paying attention? Like, I
Speaker:meet so many people who are, like, you know, I. I
Speaker:don't remember my dreams or my mom never comes to visit or whoever has passed.
Speaker:Well, I think, like, if you do dream, wake up and document it, because
Speaker:the more you do that, the more they come, the more vivid they are. But
Speaker:also, maybe write a note and put it under your pillow, like, hey, Mom. Like,
Speaker:I, you know, or to whoever. Whoever you've lost that you want to come visit,
Speaker:write them a note and invite them to come see you in your dreams and
Speaker:ask for it, and ask for it before bed every night and give them that
Speaker:permission because it's really beautiful. And I'd say
Speaker:95% of the time, my mom and my dad and everyone that's coming to visit
Speaker:is alive and looks really healthy. There's only a couple sad, scary, like, re
Speaker:experiencing their death. But mostly it's
Speaker:pleasant. And, like, my mom's, like, riding a bike. I've never seen her ride a
Speaker:bike. I've seen, like, my. My mom and my aunt and my grandma sitting at
Speaker:a table by a pool of swimming lessons. Like, just, like, things that I've never
Speaker:seen, but everyone's happy and healthy, and. It'S just such a gift,
Speaker:truly. And I am so amazed that you got so many
Speaker:clear signs. Like, in case you were questioning the Sharon or the
Speaker:eagle or the other eagle or the other eagle. Like,
Speaker:let's just, you know, double validate this one. So that's beautiful.
Speaker:And I'm glad that you were able to see it and receive it
Speaker:with signs. You know, our mind or human mind
Speaker:or monkey mind, if you will. Will try to, like, explain it or question
Speaker:or justify it or whatever. The way I look at it is like,
Speaker:is it helpful to you or is it not helpful to you? Would a sign,
Speaker:I say, if it makes you pause, it's a sign, right? Do you
Speaker:don't need scientific proof or data or dissertation, like, saying,
Speaker:yes, it's valid. It's just, did it make you pause? Did
Speaker:it make you smile? Did it make you feel closer to your person? Did it
Speaker:bring some kind of joy, closeness to your day? That's it. It's a
Speaker:sign. Like, accept it. There's some stuff that you just can't explain. And like, why
Speaker:do you need to try and dissect it? Like, just if you feel like it's
Speaker:a sign or it could be a sign, it's a sign. Like, you get to
Speaker:determine that. And about dreams, you said something very important
Speaker:that. And so in the interview that I did with Dr. Joshua Black,
Speaker:he studies grief dreams, right? That's literally his whole life's work is about
Speaker:studying grief dreams. And so one thing is there's people that
Speaker:want to dream with their person, but they're sad that they can't. And
Speaker:they say, well, how come I don't dream with them? And one thing is dreaming,
Speaker:and the other thing is dream recall. So remembering your
Speaker:dreams is different than dreaming. You probably are dreaming. If you're having a
Speaker:full night's sleep, you probably are dreaming. Whether or not you can remember
Speaker:that is a different story. But the key is what you said
Speaker:about writing it down. He said, there is proof that you
Speaker:can increase the rate of your dream recall. And he gave the
Speaker:percentages. I can't remember off the top of my head simply by
Speaker:writing it down by. He even has this
Speaker:might I might share it with you. The dream.
Speaker:I forget what he calls it, but it's basically like how to create the dreams
Speaker:that you want. It's like a dream planner, if you will. And all it is
Speaker:is like putting you in the energy and putting you in the mindset of being
Speaker:able to increase your recall. The flip side of that
Speaker:is a lot. Some grievers, some people who lost, especially somebody
Speaker:traumatically or there's a level of stress attached
Speaker:to the loss sometimes have traumatic dreams.
Speaker:So it also works to decrease the rate of your traumatic
Speaker:dreams. And it's just fascinating because at the end of the day.
Speaker:Don't question whether or not it's real. It's not real.
Speaker:If it brings you comfort and peace and whatever, by
Speaker:all means, just take it for what it is and that's it. Now, what I
Speaker:find is, like, you just expressed they feel.
Speaker:Some dreams feel. So they are visitations. Like they feel
Speaker:like you actually interacted with a person. Their responses
Speaker:in their dreams are not something you would have said or made up.
Speaker:And I've had multiple dreams like that. Like, I remember
Speaker:one of them, I asked my brother, like, where are you now? Where do you
Speaker:live? And he said, oh, I live in the da da da da da.
Speaker:And I said, in the dream, I said, oh, that's a really complicated
Speaker:word. Like, I don't think I'm going to remember that. And he's like, don't worry,
Speaker:it's in the Bucharest galaxy. And I was like, in the Bucharest
Speaker:galaxy. Now that's a weird word. But when we were kids and
Speaker:I speak Spanish, I'm Puerto Rican. So the. There's a
Speaker:kid's rhyme that says, like, it's like a little
Speaker:kid's rhyme. And cucara macara sounds like bucara. And I said,
Speaker:oh, I can remember that one, sure. So I woke up,
Speaker:I remembered the word, I looked it up to see if it
Speaker:means anything. And it's Swahili for a secret
Speaker:place. Like, I live in a secret place.
Speaker:Goosey's right. And I'm like, I don't. I didn't even know about
Speaker:that word. So it's like you have these exchanges in your dreams that are
Speaker:so powerful. And you know, if you have
Speaker:had dreams and you're questioning some of it, by all means, take this as like
Speaker:your permission to lean into them, to receive them
Speaker:and start writing them down so you can increase the recall if that's something you
Speaker:wish for. I love that. Oh, that's so good. I feel like I can talk
Speaker:to you forever. But so you know, I
Speaker:invite you to dive into the world of Nina Rodriguez
Speaker:and grief and light. Her links are all in the show notes, her website,
Speaker:her social links. She. You also have a gift for everyone. You're giving everyone
Speaker:20% off any one to one service and free access to the grief
Speaker:and light, the community, which is. And the links in the show notes.
Speaker:So if you want to take her up on any of that, please visit the
Speaker:show notes. And what advice
Speaker:do you have for
Speaker:someone who quite suddenly loses a sibling?
Speaker:Yeah, show yourself, Grace. That's first and foremost,
Speaker:your grief is valid. And be Very, very gentle
Speaker:with yourself as you learn who you are becoming.
Speaker:Snaps for you. Be gentle with yourself as you
Speaker:learn who are. Who you are becoming. Right. That is
Speaker:so important and very
Speaker:true. Yeah. Right. We're never the same. No.
Speaker:And that's okay. That's okay. I mean, that's. That's like the one thing that's
Speaker:constant. Right. Change. Right. And some of the change is out of our
Speaker:control. And I say that in the same way
Speaker:that a person having a child for, let's say,
Speaker:their first child. Right. When a child is born. So as a
Speaker:parent, so as a mother, so as a father, the other side of it
Speaker:would be loss. So when we lose somebody that we love, there's this
Speaker:new version of ourselves being born. So getting to know that version of
Speaker:ourselves, getting, you know, finding our footing in this
Speaker:new paradigm takes time. And being gentle is so, so key.
Speaker:Yeah. Oh, my gosh, you're amazing. You're so inspirational, and I'm so honored to
Speaker:call you a friend even though you're on the other side of the continent. So
Speaker:I can't wait to give you a big, juicy hug when we meet in person.
Speaker:And, you know, just thank you for the work that you're doing and for being
Speaker:the light in grief. Thank you. Thank you for
Speaker:everything you're doing. We're recording this for the listeners in December, but we
Speaker:are going to meet in person in January, God willing, in New York.
Speaker:And I am so excited. I am thankful for the space you have
Speaker:created, for the community you have built and
Speaker:continue to build. And I'm grateful that even
Speaker:though we experienced these losses, in a
Speaker:way, they brought us together. So thank you so much. Yes, likewise. I
Speaker:echo all that. And to you, our listeners, thank you for tuning in to another
Speaker:episode of Resilient af. It's because of you that we
Speaker:are here doing this work together. We heal. We are meant to
Speaker:go through life as community, not alone. And it's okay if you're not
Speaker:okay, but you're going to get through it. And
Speaker:we are that lighthouse in the storm. Because, friends,
Speaker:just remember, you are Resilient af.
