Sometimes we ask for perspective when what we’re really seeking is permission. In this episode, we talk about trusting yourself to make decisions, accepting uncertainty, and remembering that even unfavorable experiences can teach us something.

We also get into the exciting increase in podcast interview requests, why every opportunity isn’t necessarily an aligned opportunity, and what I’m considering as I become more intentional about future guests. Plus, we’re getting ready to celebrate 10 years of podcasting this September. :-)

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Hey, y'.

All.

You are listening to another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast where we better self in spirit and make peace with the day through wisdom, education and practical, easy to follow tips.

I am your host, Maria, your spiritual homegirl, who's also a mental professional.

And today's episode is going to be for those who just need a little push to do what they've always wanted to do or do what they need to do.

And I was inspired by this.

Wow.

The inspiration has been for at least the last year and a half, two years to talk about it.

But now that we're on the other side of a lot of life transitions, I'm ready to talk about it.

It's going to be brief, but it's going to be straight to the point.

And hopefully those that need to hear it hear me good.

This is the era where you stop asking for permission to live life on your own terms.

The reason why I am bringing it up is because many times I see a lot of need for reassurance, a lot of need for allowance for people to make decisions on their own life.

Now, look, I understand also that sometimes you might be unsure about things and you want to ask people for their perspective, just to kind of get some differences in ideology or just thought process that you might not have had or you might not be able to see.

Because sometimes an outside set of eyes could be beneficial.

But outside, I should never make the final call inside the house.

That's your house.

And how you run your house is how you need to run your house.

And I mean that literally and also mean it figuratively.

The house of your life.

You are a certain age, you have a certain level of experience, you have a certain level of wisdom, whether you realize it or not.

Because through experience can come wisdom.

At some point we have to start getting comfortable.

And I always say we because I'm never above my advice.

We have to start getting comfortable with making the choice and being okay with what happens, even if it's uncertain.

Sometimes we have a fear of making decisions on our own because we're scared things aren't going to turn out the way that we want them to or the way they should.

But the thing about it is we can only control what we can control.

So at some point we have to just have the ability to trust that with the information gathered and with whatever our gut is telling us or whatever other piece of information, you need to feel more comfortable with making a decision that we're sure and that we accept the outcome of whatever that's going to be because we've done our absolute best with the circumstances within our control, we have to stop asking for permission.

There's so many wonderful things that people can do in their lives, but they never do them because they're worried about others perceptions, people's perceptions that don't matter, people's perceptions that will be imprinted on us from a lifespan that ain't did nothing close to what we're asking them about, or we're asking people that really don't want us to do these things for whatever reason that is, we see it all the time.

Stop asking people that haven't done what you've done about what you about to do.

They haven't lived your life.

They don't know.

For some, for a select few, you asking people about going big and them people ain't never been nothing bigger than nothing ever in their life.

What I mean by that is they've never done anything, anything significant or anything of super duper value.

No big risks, no anything.

I mean, I get it because you may trust their judgment, but does it make sense and matter of fact?

I'll give an example.

When I was wanting to change careers, I did not ask people that were at one job longer than five to 10 years if you had been there longer than five or 10.

I wasn't about to ask you nothing because you're not switching.

At our age, people were normally, you know, staying five years, seven years, 10 years, might have been a job a little bit longer than that, depending on when they got in, if they got in during college, things like that.

So I wasn't going to ask somebody who likes where they are and plan on staying where they are about changing completely different careers.

Like I wasn't going to ask them that.

Why?

Because I don't want, with all due respect, I don't want their opinion on that.

They're living a different life than I'm living.

Who I wanted to speak to are people that were not only shifting careers, but shifting careers after spending 5, 10, 15 years in one career field or changing career fields later in life.

That was who I wanted to speak to.

Because their wisdom, if anything, could be valuable to my situation or relevant to my situation.

But ultimately I made the final choice.

Was I uncertain?

Yes.

Was it a seamless transition?

Not quite.

I wouldn't say it's perfect, but it had its bumps in the road.

Am I grateful that I made the call though?

Yes, I made the call on my own life.

Now, of course, some people will say, oh well, pray about it, or consult your higher power or divination or what have you.

And you're well within your right to do that too.

And I've definitely was praying on it and figuring out some other intuitive ways to figure out where I was going.

But in terms of asking other humans, no, I wasn't asking for permission.

I wasn't.

Now also, sometimes we are unsure ourselves because we might have some residual issues that we're navigating or some uncomfortable feelings that we have because we did trust ourselves to make decisions and, and they did not end in a way that we wanted or wasn't very favorable.

We can hold two things at once, right?

We can hold the desire to want to change our lives and be fearless and take charge and seize the opportunity and seize the moment and do things.

But we can also hold, on the other hand, that there's been times we've done that and it might have burned us in some way, shape or form.

So I'm sending love to you if that's been your circumstance.

But at the same time, what lesson did you learn from that?

And of course we're not talking about things that are trauma related because that's a whole different set of nuances that, that I don't like to go too deep into so broadly on the podcast.

So we're not talking about that.

But for things that are not trauma related.

What lesson did you learn?

Is there some wisdom that you gained from this?

If the, the wisdom that you learned, could it help you moving forward?

Could it give you some better insight as you experience a new change or preparing to make a new change now?

Has it snatched your confidence?

Do you need to rebuild it?

Better yet, do you need help rebuilding your confidence?

Do you need professional help rebuilding your confidence?

Do you need to take this slowly and do things step by step and build your reassurance that way?

It's different ways to go around it, but you don't have to stay in that fearful, scared of a negative reaction or, or even the pain of, of, of bad or not so healthy choices made previously.

You don't have to stay stuck in that.

Give yourself permission to heal too.

Give yourself permission to heal.

Give yourself permission to feel.

Give yourself permission to get support.

Give yourself permission to enjoy life while we can.

There's so much happening outside, and I say that a lot because it's true.

Not to fear monger, but this is the time where we live.

We deserve to live.

So please give yourself permission to live.

Be mindful of the advice that you seek.

Be discerning of who you talk to compare and contrast notes.

Again, there's people that ain't never did nothing of anything related to what you're doing in life.

They're very comfortable, very content, and there's nothing wrong with that because that's what they chose.

But there are some people who will never take a risk that will tell you from their course of understanding that you shouldn't take a risk because that's what they're used to.

People that don't dream big will tell you your dreams are too big because they themselves don't want to dream big.

Or for some, they don't want to see you let down.

But that's not really for them to control now, is it?

Or there are some folks that only want you in a certain capacity, and as long as you don't grow to a certain extent, they're comfortable.

But the minute you start out growing or doing things that are bigger, they might feel a little intimidated.

You just never know where the true intention is coming from for certain responses that you're asking for from the people you're asking them from.

So just be mindful, be discerning, you know, for those who are into, you know, the higher power religion and things like that or spirituality, pray, sit with it, journal, do what you have to do.

Ask for a sign.

Those that aren't saying ancestor veneration, holl at your ancestors about it.

See what's going on.

Do what you have to do to get the answer, but stop asking other humans for permission.

Do you think I should have a baby right now?

Do you think I should get married right now?

Do you think I should move away right now?

Do you think I should change jobs right now?

Do you think I should pursue this passion project right now?

Do you think I should volunteer here right now?

Do you think I should join this organization or this group or professional chamber of commerce group or whatever it is right now?

Should I be friends with this person online?

Should I do like, do what you need to do, but do it informed.

Informed with, again, the wisdom of your experiences and your discernment and your pros and cons.

And if you're still unsure about it, instead of jumping on in, just take small steps.

So that's what I wanted to put on you all's heart today.

Don't forget, if you like what you hear, please share the episode with someone you care about.

If you want me to speak at wherever you are, schools, jobs, teams, please feel free to hit me up.

Maria spiritual homegirl.com I would love to speak with you.

Also, I'VE been getting a lot of interview requests shout out to y'.

All.

I don't know how, but thank you.

I am going through those emails to determine guests that are aligned and will reach out to begin scheduling interviews.

It's been a while since I've had somebody else on the show, and I love talking to people and getting their perspectives, because, again, wisdom comes through experience.

And I am excited to get back to interviewing.

But what I will say is this.

I'm open to interviewing all kinds of people.

You don't have to be a celebrity or a person that has popularity or anything like that.

I've never been one of those podcast hosts.

I've even had my friends as hosts.

I mean, as co hosts or.

Or interview subjects because I believe that their.

Their mission is aligned with what I'm doing.

Keyword what I'm doing.

Keyword what I'm doing.

So, for instance, if you are an artist and you have a project and you're wanting me to interview you, I'm going to listen to your music to see if it fits and if it is.

Also, now, mind you, I love music, but, you know, there's a time and a place for certain things.

And if the type of music you do does not align with what I say every episode about bettering self and spirit and helping people make peace with the day, and you talking about, I'm about to zoom, zoom, bang.

I'm.

I'm not.

We're not aligned.

And that's okay.

Not for this platform.

So, you know, that's just an example.

But that even goes to the type of spiritual work, too.

I mean, if you do work that comes from a certain region and you don't give credit to the people that are in that region from who you've learned it from, and we.

And that's a lot with indigenous practices, I may not be as inclined.

I'm gonna be honest with you, because it's about platforming people within the mission while also giving credit to whatever you got your sources from when it comes to that.

So what.

I mean, I'm just.

Let's just put it out there.

Appropriation of practices.

I don't entertain that at all on my show.

And if, you know, and I don't even think I've talked to anybody that has, but if I did, I would remove the episode because I can't be attached to that.

So for those that are thinking about interviewing and things like that, I mean, we should, you know, send me an email.

Let's, you know, let me see what's going on again, I'm overwhelmed with emails.

If I don't respond, please don't take it personal.

It's just there's a lot going on, you know?

So, again, I want to talk to everybody.

If you have a story to tell and keyword story to tell, not a.

A fictional story.

Okay?

Because we see a lot of cloud chasing on that, too.

And then people end up lying after they've gotten their views or their likes or retweets, and nobody has time for that.

And I know that's.

I'll be clear.

If I ever found out somebody was cloud chasing on my platform, I'm gonna do a whole episode dedicated to dismantling and calling it out because.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Okay.

I've been around for 10 years, and we're not gonna start that on year 10.

Speaking of year 10, it's coming up in less than a month, and I'm really excited.

I have something I'm working on that I can't wait to share with you all.

Just a little change for the new year, and it's literally like a little change.

It's normal.

As much as I say don't use the word little for what you're saying, it really is a minor change as of this time, and, you know, we'll see how it goes.

So with that being said, y', all, don't forget to sign up for my email list by clicking the second link in my show notes, and I will catch you next week.

This has been another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast.

My name is Maria, your spiritual homegirl.

And remember, boo.

Friends, trust the journey, trust yourself, and whatever you do, do it with love, okay?

Giving yourself permission included.

Love, y'.

All.

Peace.