Mitch Bolden's life was turned upside-down at age 27, when his doctors informed him that he was suffering from advanced-phase Leukemia; a deadly form of cancer that attacks blood cells and bone marrow.

As the cancer slowly grew in Mitch's bones, his attention was on other things. He was focused on advancing in his career in criminal justice, and he was trying to salvage his struggling marriage. Everything changed in an instant when he discovered that he was literally in a fight for his life. 

I have noticed a trend with cancer survivors. They are funny, accepting, and wonderfully forgiving. When a person faces death's door, but doesn't walk through it, they gain a level of appreciation for the gift that is this day. They understand how lucky we are to get to take another breath. Mitch embodies that and more. He laughs at the ugly parts of life. He is unphased by stuff that would make others say eeewwwww or oooouch. 

He's much more than just a guy who beat Leukemia. 

He's a dad, a husband (newly wed), security expert, Harley-Davidson motorcycle enthusiast who may or may not be affiliated with a motorcycle club that has awesome matching jackets, an ATV rider, and a pretty dang nice guy too.

I had a lot of fun getting to know Mitch. He is so clearly ecstatic about the exciting things happening in his life right now. His joy shines through even when we discuss emotionally-weighty topics like cancer and divorce. He lets us be a part of his journey through adversity and we get to share in his triumph on the other side. We kept the tone fun and never got bogged down in the emotional mire.

This is a happy podcast. I hope it makes you feel happy to hear it.

Love, Jeff

Guest Links:

Mitch Bolden. My Journey Through Leukemia: https://www.facebook.com/boldenleukemia/

Donor Registry: Bethematch.org

Ramble by the River Links:

Business inquiries/guest booking: Ramblebytheriver@gmail.com

Website: Ramblebytheriver.captivate.fm

New Website! (under construction): Ramblebytheriver.com

Facebook: Jeff Nesbitt (Ramble by the River)https://www.facebook.com/jeff.nesbitt.9619

Instagram: @ramblebytheriver

Twitter: @RambleRiverPod

Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNiZ9OBYRxF3fJ4XcsDxLeg

Music Credit(s):

Still Fly, Revel Day.

Dry Land, Nebulae.

Mount Olympus Brewing, The Tap Room, off-roading, Humptulips river, painting, beer, Aberdeen Washington, Steam Donkey Brewing, Kurt Cobain, Extreme Fun Center, romantic relationships, Val Kilmer, Harley Davidson, GMC Canyon, Chevrolet, parenting, relationships, insecurities, Cancer, marriage, Leukemia, wedding vows, Cindy Crawford, Take Your Shoes Off with Rick Glassman, soul mates, bachelor parties, Washington State, Kurt Cobain, Dead malls, podcasts, Pavlov, classical conditioning, Colten Chalker, Covid-19, criminal justice, security, violence, PTSD, post-traumatic stress, meditation, ADHD, mindfulness, motorcycles, motorcycle clubs, flow state, Road King, Road Glide, BeTheMatch.org, chemotherapy, radiation, pain medication, opioids, bone marrow, placebo, miraculous healing, marriage, online dating, love languages, romance, weddings, koi fish, Disneyland, DisneyWorld, memory, Charlie Sheen, small towns, real estate, economics, hunting, government technology, masculinity, WebMD, Cryptocurrency, Elon Musk, market manipulation, Geoff Hylton, dreams, repressed memories, Professional Wrestling, WWE, WWF, World Wildlife Foundation, bullying, Superfly Jimmy Snooka, Beyond the Ropes, The Rock, Mick Foley, Mankind, The Undertaker, trampolines, motorsports, The Ark Restaurant, Nahcotta, Spartina alterniflora, steamer clams, oysters, true love.

#keepramblin

Mitch Bolden

[00:00:20] I really appreciate it. I know we've got a lot of options of how you want to spend your time and what kind of media you want to consume. So it means a lot to me that you chose. It is Thursday, June. Oh shit. No, actually I'm recording this on Thursday. It is actually Saturday, June 26th, the year of our Lord 2021.

[00:01:02] It's sucks. It's not great hope. You're not a hope. He didn't lose a bunch of money. I hope that you're surviving. I just hope good for you. I hope you're doing well. Hope you're thriving. Kicking ass, taking names. I mean, not maybe not taking names. How about you? Just forgive. You've already kicked their ass.

[00:01:44] Bought it last year. I'm just getting stuff put on it. And we still have our existing website. That is our current host for all of our episodes. And that is@ramblebytheriverdotcaptivate.fm. And I know what you're thinking. [00:02:00] W w w.fm, what is this a radio station? No, it's a website. Trust me. It might as well be though.

[00:02:33] If you want to talk to me on Instagram. Which is a good spot. Cause I checked out the most often. It's at ramble by the river and you can email me with anything about the show@ramblebytheriveratgmail.com. So last week was father's day and Juneteenth. So we had a special double holiday episode, which was awesome.

[00:03:13] So while I was editing it, I kind of had it in mind that I was making it for my family, my on both sides, my wife's family and my, my family. It's, it's all, it's really just all about our roots. And I thought it was kind of cool. So I was just picturing listening to it 10 years from now, or when the kids are all grown up and they want to hear what they sound like.

[00:03:55] The audience seems to have enjoyed it. I, uh, I've gotten lots of comments and messages [00:04:00] about it and. I really appreciate that. You guys always, if you enjoy the episode, tell me, cause it really actually helps. It helps me to know what to make, what direction to keep going. I'm still fairly new at this. You know, I'm still a beginner and I would love some feedback.

[00:04:35] Maybe you thought it sounded really good, whatever it is that, that you like tell me. So I can continue to put more of that in, and I will, this is an iterative process, you know, I'm continuously going to try to improve it. So the father's day episode was cool. You know, beyond that, I had a great father.

[00:05:15] But this time I was just so entrenched in making that father's day episode that I was thinking about fathers. Uh, in about father's day and just about the whole thing. So this year it felt different. It felt very, I felt just very engaged with the whole holiday and the people in my life and the people on this podcast.

[00:06:01] So it turns out a friend of ours is getting married and they're looking for a wedding DJ and somebody threw out my name as like a, a moonshot kind of a wild choice, you know, given my lack of experience, I think it's going to go, okay. I really like trying new things. I love music. I love to dance. Oh, how I love to Dungs that's actually not true.

[00:06:55] I could build a playlist and, you know, put on headphones and do my head, Bob dance while I [00:07:00] just pumped the jams. I can do that. And that's exactly what I intend to do. Music at a wedding is a big deal. It's like, you've got your foot on the emotional throttle of the entire group. That's, I'm looking forward to it.

[00:07:32] I've already started building my place. It's going to be cool. I will need a DJ name. So that's where I'm going to need some help from you guys. If you have any suggestions for a cool DJ name that fits me, fits my personality and my style. You know, if it can, if it can capture my group, then go ahead and send it to me either in a DM or in a comment somewhere and make sure I see it.

[00:08:17] I know, I complain sometimes that I'm too busy, but I'm endlessly fascinated by stuff. I like, I like trying new things and the world is just full of. So here we go again. I'm going to try it. My guest on the podcast today is Mitchell Bolden also known as Mitch Bolton. I asked him what she prefers, but he wouldn't tell me anyway.

[00:08:59] We went [00:09:00] right in hard, went right into the juicy stuff. You know, we're talking about relationships, we're talking about what it means to be a dad. We're talking about responsibility and laughed a lot, talked about cancer, talked about falling in love and how great that can be and what just like what difference it can make in your life.

[00:09:39] And on top of that, he's in love. And he's now he's newly married. He got married last weekend, by the way. Congratulations to Mr. And Mrs. Bull. I hope you guys had a great honeymoon. If you find yourself enjoying this show, would you please do me a favor and share it with a friend? I know I've said it before, but it really, really helps [00:10:00] just, it could be anything.

[00:10:26] That's how we're going to conquer the world. We got to do it one person at a time, two years at a time, you know, honestly, I don't care about likes. I really have trained myself over the years, not to give a shit about that stuff and not even to really notice it, but now that it's like, I'm trying to build an audience, I'm trying to grow this thing into something more.

[00:11:07] Write a review, whatever podcast platform you use. Give me a five star review because those add ups in the algorithm than just a like, or a thumbs up or whatever. Also subscribe. Go to every podcast platform and subscribe, just subscribe on everyone. Go steal your cousin's phone and go subscribe on his phone.

[00:11:45] I can't go into the post. Because I'm doing a podcast. I mean, that doesn't show good financial responsibility. It's not a hugely expensive project. If I made a hundred bucks a month, it would cover everything other than my time. [00:12:00] And that's all I want. So eventually I got to figure out a way to do that. I know the ways there's only so many avenues and I don't so much want to be slim.

[00:12:27] That's why we're here. We're here to explore human potential. We're here to talk about the human experience and what it could be. We're going to talk about shit. We're going to get into our trunk. We're going to get into what makes us laugh. What makes us cry? What makes our, tell me feel upset and we have to poop later.

[00:13:05] Be the match light, the fire, be the match.org and register. You're going to hear a little bit more about that in the podcast, but that is the organization that connected Mitch with his donor who had, you know, eventually saved his life. So it's a very important organization to him and that makes it important to us because we care about our guests here at the ramble.

[00:13:48] And every time somebody is dying of leukemia or whatever else, I don't even know if it's other stuff or if it's just for bone marrow, but they are going to run it, run [00:14:00] it through this database. Whoever is a match will be notified and then they have the opportunity to save a life. It's pretty cool. I registered the other day and I'm waiting on my cheek swab.

[00:14:34] If you liked this podcast, please don't hesitate to leave a review like it, share it, subscribe, and as always send it to your grandma. Thank you guys so much for letting me spend my Saturday in your head. And I really hope you guys enjoy it. I love you without further ado. Mitch Bolden. [00:15:00]

[00:00:05] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:05] That was a really fun project.

[00:00:11]Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:11] Well, it's not the same as like doing a painting.

[00:00:20] And so when we were painting the salon, I had to tape everything off and all the corners

[00:00:32] Mitch Bolden: [00:00:32] and everything. Yeah. Until somebody tries to come in behind you,

[00:00:37] Like, ah, yeah, a little,

[00:00:45] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:45] it's an easy thing to fuck up. So salon, you mentioned the salon. I think we started talking about that before the recording started, but. Yeah, what's

[00:00:55] So my fiance, Megan is, , a hairstylist. , she's always done the, [00:01:00] kind of the rent, the chair type thing, , at different salons. And, , we got together and she kind of talked about it. , but she never really wanted to pull the trigger. , so she found a friend of hers, , that does massage therapy. So they opened up a salon spa type thing.

[00:01:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:01:34] It sounds like you're making good time. I've been working on my house project since January. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah. It's no fun. Terrible Instapot. Yeah, I know. We just, we just got one.

[00:01:46] Mitch Bolden: [00:01:46] good as they say? I haven't used it. Yeah, so I get married next weekend. Congratulations. Thank you. So actually wasn't even last week, it was two weekends ago, but , for my bachelor party, I was, I wanted was a group of people, men, women, the kids went. [00:02:00] Let's go out, I side by side and off-roading and quads

[00:02:08] Mitch Bolden: [00:02:08] and thicker pastries, the brush. Yeah. So it was just, let's go out and have a good time and, and do all that. So you guys go a place called donkey Creek. It's a north of hump two lips.

[00:02:30] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:02:30] rural part of Washington, right?

[00:02:48] Oh, like going, there was a place when I was a kid, we can't call finger rock, you know that out on the nasal. And that's exactly reminds me, you pull out on the gravel bar, you know, set everything up. And um, but it was, [00:03:00] yeah, that was great. We can anyway, sounds like a blast. I don't know how I squirreled into that, but

[00:03:06]Mitch Bolden: [00:03:06] the salon.

[00:03:21] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:03:21] which one's got a lighter flavor, uh,

[00:03:29] It's the Mount deception. Coconut Porter. All right. , don't mind if I do. I know how you like shout outs. So Mount Olympus viewing there in Aberdeen. Ah, that's got a nice color to it. It does. And it is really good. They do another one. They're called blooded Hades. That's a cool name. Uh, it is, especially when they barrel age it, , it, it smells really good.

[00:04:06] That's really good. So, yeah, as soon as they opened the place, I became a mug club member and that's awesome. That was all she wrote. So drink off the can you're drinking.

[00:04:18]Mitch Bolden: [00:04:18] You're just a classy hill.

[00:04:30] All right. , there is still a business in Aberdeen.

[00:04:49] So it's like just kind of the wine cellars is right there. So Aberdeen, everyone gets a bad rap.

[00:04:59] Mitch Bolden: [00:04:59] it is, [00:05:00] you know, everyone's like, yeah, we got this, you know, musician and everyone's like, and then other people, and he's a heroin addict. I mean, everybody

[00:05:08] Mitch Bolden: [00:05:08] must be.

[00:05:14] It's gotten a little

[00:05:18] Mitch Bolden: [00:05:18] Uh, a couple months ago

[00:05:28] Mitch Bolden: [00:05:28] Yeah. It reminded me of like Dawn of the dead.

[00:05:35] Mitch Bolden: [00:05:35] or been ranged with a shotgun?

[00:05:38] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:05:38] it was weird, but I think that's a pretty common problem. It's not an Aberdeen problem. It's a mall problem.

[00:05:53] Go-karts cool. So that has stayed open. They separate from the structure that's failing. [00:06:00] Oh,

[00:06:03]Mitch Bolden: [00:06:03] Yeah. Yeah. Our last big wind and rain storm, something structurally with the roof. And if you go through that mall, it literally looks like this painting with the Hills and the mountains and the peaks and valleys.

[00:06:14] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:06:14] settled in some places and not

[00:06:30] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:06:30] That makes sense. Downtowns all over the country disintegrating because of all the malls coming in. Yep.

[00:06:42] Um, but it's yeah. So do you

[00:06:49] Mitch Bolden: [00:06:49] That is where I live right now. I bought a house there. , well I bought a house there originally 10 years ago.

[00:06:56] Mitch Bolden: [00:06:56] well I sold that one.

[00:07:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:07:13] it's crazy. The housing markets are nuts.

[00:07:23] And then we started looking at places where they courage.

[00:07:26] Mitch Bolden: [00:07:26] Yeah. You know, for something that we need or want, you know, I was like, let's just stay here. Yeah. Good neighbors, you know,

[00:07:40] Whatever you want? Well, you know, last time I think we saw each other, we were both students at ocean park elementary school. Yeah. You're going by mental then, but you know, times have changed Mitch

[00:07:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:07:53] mean, you know, I not call you that one.

[00:08:12] Staunton Ross's class. Oh, miss Don Ross. I get her confused with Ms. Stevens. Ms.

[00:08:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:08:19] Stephens. She's quite a local celebrity now writing books. They're fantastic. Oh yeah.

[00:08:28] Mitch Bolden: [00:08:28] very much so I haven't talked to her in so long. ,

[00:08:48] I'm worried that it's like an old lady is gonna fall down the stairs. I don't know

[00:08:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:08:56] an optional rope that she could climb to get up here, but [00:09:00] that's just, yeah. I dunno. Just get

[00:09:03] We'll just get Hilton to lift her up there, pick her up and throw her in the picture.

[00:09:12] Mitch Bolden: [00:09:12] So, yeah, I grew up here until fifth grade, , was born in Astoria and, , my family's from here. I mean, well, grandma was at the high school forever Connie , right? Yup. Yup. The lunch lady and then, , moved to south bend, , and then moved to Aberdeen.

[00:09:32]my mom still works at the pharmacy there practically.

[00:09:36] Mitch Bolden: [00:09:36] Yeah. I mean we never left Pacific county. It was just, my mom got the job at Salvin pharmacy up there and she was commuting from Seaview and it was just like, oh, we need to find something to do. So yeah. You know, my dad got a job at the beer company there in Aberdeen distributing driving truck driving down here.

[00:10:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:10:10] Yeah. That is, that is weird.

[00:10:18] Mitch Bolden: [00:10:18] nice knowing ya. Like one of the, one of my, I would consider my best friend when I was growing up here that I haven't talked to you since I left was, uh, I don't even know if he's still around here.

[00:10:30] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:10:30] remember that name. I

[00:10:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:10:35] I don't either, but yeah. Sometimes I will see a picture online or hear a name and just be like, get a flash, like, oh yeah, that's an ocean park person. I know them. It's like,

[00:10:48] Okay. That, that rings a bell. I don't know.

[00:10:56] Mitch Bolden: [00:10:56] Well, and I've got people up in Aberdeen. You're listening to it [00:11:00] now. Cool. Talk to my friends about, you know, Always listening to it.

[00:11:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:11:09] Good. I hope someone's listening.

[00:11:15] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:11:15] to it, I saw Lacey last weekend. You're awesome.

[00:11:22] I think even more on Hannah's side and stuff listens to her, you know, Hannah and,

[00:11:29]To be honest with you, Ramble was the first podcast I listened to.

[00:11:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:11:48] Yeah. And the first time you listen, you turn it on. And you're waiting. When does the show start?

[00:11:58]Mitch Bolden: [00:11:58] uh, the, [00:12:00] uh, uh, the pot of gold. Yeah. That's Colton. I know, I know.

[00:12:12] Mitch Bolden: [00:12:12] Here we go. You know what it reminds me of, it reminds me of the, the Dick house jackass.

[00:12:43] Like getting ready. This is, this, this one's going on. Listen to Jeff.

[00:12:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:12:48] Yeah. So have you gotten to know Colton yet?

[00:13:06] And I was like, holy shit, that's the chakra twins. And, hadn't had a chance to talk to him or anything. And then they just came out for the bachelor party and he's a good dude. He's a good dude. And , , I get along with him, he's easy to get along with very, very easy to get along with. Plus I, you know, sorry, Hannah.

[00:13:32] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:13:32] He's he's very susceptible to peer pressure, which is great. As a best friend, I watched it with him.

[00:13:51] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:13:51] you too. I love them both. And I think that together they're even better.

[00:14:00] [00:14:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:14:00] That's it? The thing they both deserve somebody cool. And somebody who's worthy of them. Cause they're both. Bad-ass for a lot of similar reasons. They're both hilarious. They're both genuine and honest. It's like, they're, they're good people. And I'm stoked that they're going to get to have a little family or who knows how it's going to play out.

[00:14:18] Mitch Bolden: [00:14:18] be, it'll be good. You know, like I said, they're coming up for the wedding, of course. But, uh, it it'll be good. I can totally see us hanging out. And I mean, Hannah is more of a. A sister to me, I guess you could say that, you know, , no matter through her divorce or mine or, you know, anything like that, it, that was always the constant that could be there, you know, color.

[00:14:57] And she's like, you better marry her. I [00:15:00] said, yeah. ,

[00:15:15] You're like, well, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm going to do it agree

[00:15:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:15:43] circumstances

[00:15:57] So, so

[00:16:07] Mitch Bolden: [00:16:07] married to him. Yeah. Oh, cutting hair, you know? This was years later, you know, and I was looking for somebody to cut my hair and I sent her a text message or I, I, I messaged cause I never remember.

[00:16:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:16:35] here he had recommended her long before, long before.

[00:16:44] Mitch Bolden: [00:16:44] but I never, I never had no plan. No, never done no plan. I never, I didn't even know they were split up. Didn't even know and got ahold of about the haircut. And then I found out what was going on there.

[00:17:21] If not pretty fucking

[00:17:25] Mitch Bolden: [00:17:25] The first time I met her, she hadn't been out of the house in forever. Just kind of

[00:17:38] Mitch Bolden: [00:17:38] just, just dealing with stuff and, and, uh, it, it just, I was trying to be friend, I guess.

[00:17:58] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:17:58] so yeah, you just had [00:18:00] to be genuine and it ended up working out.

[00:18:07] Stop looking, get off the websites, get off anything. And that's what I told her. You know, when she met Colton, she told me the same thing. She goes, I stopped looking. Yeah, exactly. And that was me and Megan, literally, we went back to my house that night and sat in the living room on the couch. And it was like probably eight o'clock when we got there.

[00:18:46] And I said, okay, I'm really fucking glad that you said something. Yeah. Because I wasn't going to be that guy. That's just not wasn't me. You know,

[00:19:00] Mitch Bolden: [00:19:00] and it wasn't meant to be that way, but then it started to feel that way.

[00:19:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:08] but how was the haircut? Uh, I dunno, how was it?

[00:19:12] Mitch Bolden: [00:19:12] She does my hair now. Like nice. It took actually took me forever to get her to cut my hair. Oh really? Cause she thinks that I'm super picky and like OCD about certain things. And at the time I was going to a really good barber down there and, , it was during COVID.

[00:19:28] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:28] Okay. So you were out of options?

[00:19:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:44] So how was code for you that mess with stuff in your life?

[00:19:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:50] I didn't have a huge problem with it and how it affected my day to day. I

[00:20:04] So you're outdoors a lot. And so that didn't really affect me all the guys that I ride side by sides. It was that you can socially distance during that. Yeah. So that it didn't really affect me there. And so with my medical history, uh, I've got a low immune, you know, my immune system's kind of goofy. And so I catch everything.

[00:20:33] Keeping

[00:20:36] Mitch Bolden: [00:20:36] It's just my kid. Hasn't been getting sick at school, you know, and bring us over.

[00:21:02] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:21:02] I think it depends so much on just what you do, who you are and where you, where you are.

[00:21:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:21:19] That's, that's a pretty libertarian view.

[00:21:25] Yeah. It's

[00:21:28] Mitch Bolden: [00:21:28] Exactly. You know, I have taken it off in Idaho and rode a car, you know, road on the highway, you know, and yeah, it's fun for a while, but then I'm like, eh, just spread out

[00:21:45] People are just so lazy with making decisions for themselves. So, and because of that, we kind of have to mandate it just so that idiots will make the right choice. But it is kind of hard to swallow. It's like, you're telling me I have to save my own life. It's against the [00:22:00] law for me to be right.

[00:22:03]Mitch Bolden: [00:22:03] Everyone's like, well, if you get COVID and you know, you could die and all this, and then yes, you can, it's sure. Flat out. But at the same time, if you're taking all the precautions, not to get it, you're not going to get it. Yeah. You probably won't get it.

[00:22:37] Okay. 1200 positives, you know, like I've been in the thick of it. Yeah.

[00:22:54] Mitch Bolden: [00:22:54] Yes. A it's a, uh, what do you call it?

[00:23:18] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:23:18] but that's the scary part, or it was very much, we're kind of getting it figured out now what to not be afraid of.

[00:23:27] Mitch Bolden: [00:23:27] Me. I know.

[00:23:45] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:23:45] it's just, I got that after like two weeks.

[00:23:48] Mitch Bolden: [00:23:48] so tired of it. We just recently went to Denver for a Meghan, learn how to do a tie in extensions. And it was for her. Yeah. And so she, we went up there and I [00:24:00] just went along because I was like, oh, I'll go to Denver with ya, you know, have dinner or whatever.

[00:24:25] I'm like, oh, this ain't so bad. Then we get to stop at the B corridor. And it looks like house with a slaughter. I can ready to get on this train. And by the time we hit the eight corridor, it was. Nuts to butts like sardines. And we both, me and Megan both almost had like panic attacks, same with everyone else on it.

[00:24:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:24:50] dude. That sounds horrible. I was just on an elevator with like four or five other people where it's like, I can't get six feet. I can't get six feet.

[00:25:01] Mitch Bolden: [00:25:01] a movie where somebody is underwater and you hold your breath. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Brief or I can breathe.

[00:25:12]Mitch Bolden: [00:25:12] I worked in a correctional field, , or criminal justice field. , and I am in charge of security related issues at that, , facility.

[00:25:29] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:25:29] so you're like a, an auditor type consultant or

[00:25:40] It's, uh, a group of peers. Gotcha. Um, and, there's a lot of other things to it. I started out in. The officer field

[00:25:52] Mitch Bolden: [00:25:52] both. , I've had training throughout, you gotta do it to know it, you know?

[00:26:07] seeing guys very vividly self-harmed themself, you know, uh, like just, just carving on themselves. And then, you know, I've seen guys that have died and, dealt with numerous medical emergencies. When I, when I first started in that field, I had a problem with blood. Not anymore. If you've seen the movie felon, no.

[00:26:51] So the second time. It makes you uncomfortable. I said the third time you just stepped over him. Yeah. You know, and that, and it's true. You know, I remember the first time I saw blood there, I [00:27:00] almost passed out like the doctor kicked me a stool.

[00:27:08] Mitch Bolden: [00:27:08] No. You have to come up with some sort of callousness. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's, it can be good India, you know?

[00:27:24] Yeah. No,

[00:27:45] Trauma, your nervous system. Doesn't give them this, who's throwing the grenade. It totally, or who's firing the shots, you know, in a, in a lot of people are ashamed to talk about it. But like I, when I started going to counseling, um, it was great. I learned a lot about what I was [00:28:00] going through. , like, you know, I don't suffer from PTSD, but it's a, uh, what do they call it?

[00:28:15] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:28:15] know,

[00:28:24] You know, so I've spent a lot of time internalizing and that type of stuff, but, um, come a long way since then. But,

[00:28:34] Probably my problem is I'm one of those people that I can't nap during the day, because there's always something to do. Yeah. Now I'm one of those, even if it's just watching a movie, like I met miss a piece of that movie. Yeah. That's it. Just 2:00 AM. So to sit down and not do anything

[00:28:54] And that's how you can get around that. So I deal with the exact same thing and I'm like, I got to work on the podcast. I gotta work on [00:29:00] my kitchen. I w I'd like to spend time with my kids and my wife. Yeah. It doesn't seem like a useful way to use my time, even if it is just 10 minutes to just sit there and do nothing.

[00:29:30] And you're like, oh, I'm having these feelings. These are the thoughts that persistently kept coming up. That's probably where I should go and invest some time is on that problem. But yeah, no, I totally get that. And even that being said, the last time I sat down and meditated for more than 10 minutes was months ago, like I get 10 minutes is about as much time as I'll give myself.

[00:29:54] Mitch Bolden: [00:29:54] time. See, and my Zen is, and there's nothing like being on the motorcycle and just going, that's my [00:30:00] meditation. So I ride with a group of guys and, and when I'm riding side by side with somebody, I really have to be super vigilant of what they're doing and what I'm doing.

[00:30:22] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:30:22] part of your brain that's watching for hazards is not the part that you're consciously aware of anymore because you know how to do it.

[00:30:29] Mitch Bolden: [00:30:29] am just, like I said, I honestly feel like I'm just floating. Like I'm just in the zone, the goosebumps man,

[00:30:37] Mitch Bolden: [00:30:37] That's that is like, that is where I feel mine is in, you know, I just bought a new bike. And so we're like, we've been out on that quite a bit.

[00:30:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:30:52] love it. So you like a bigger bike, like a cruiser kickback.

[00:31:01] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:31:01] radio on it. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was driving down the freeway a couple of weeks ago and just pack of like probably 20 guys on motorcycles drove up next to me in the lane.

[00:31:28] Mitch Bolden: [00:31:28] the nice thing about the music and the reason you get that is because like the speakers are designed to face me. Yeah. Like I can hear just fine. I hear every word, you know, all that kind of stuff. Plus the way that the ferrings are built. They're just, I mean, it dampens the noise.

[00:31:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:31:40] They're pretty well engineered, comfortable too. Like a Goldwing or something. Yeah. Cadillac of motorcycles. Those are old man, man motorcycles.

[00:31:54] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:31:54] grandfather.

[00:31:55] Mitch Bolden: [00:31:55] It's a Chevy 2,500 man. It tells my side by side and I can see [00:32:00] side by side. Yeah. I got a 2019 Terex Kawasaki. Oh, nice. The four-seater um, it's not the fastest turbocharged crazy machine, but it'll climb a fucking tree.

[00:32:23] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:32:23] rolled it since? No. So you pushed it right up the limit. I figured it out and come close. So yeah,

[00:32:33] Yeah. Like even in the, that's the nice thing about it. Even in the winter time, you know, You're going to get wet, put somebody on your own. So it's worth it.

[00:32:44] Mitch Bolden: [00:32:44] We got some local trails. , and then we'd go up to by Belfair. It's a new RV park. , and they got a lot of cool stuff up there.

[00:33:13], especially with my kids in there, you know, very careful and you know, okay, you're wearing a helmet, you know? ,

[00:33:20] Mitch Bolden: [00:33:20] So I've got one kid. , she will be 10 this year. , yeah, she, Leila is her name and she is, , an amazing can't believe I'm saying that, but young lady.

[00:33:36] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:33:36] where you it's that the kid who always planned on being a dad? No, no, no. I was not surprised yourself.

[00:33:54] I hate it when people use the excuse to stay together for a child. It's yeah. I mean, to me it is an excuse. It is. [00:34:00] Cause it never goes good. It never goes good for the kid and you know, anybody's listening. Like don't do it just for them now, try everything you can to make it work, you know, and, and counseling and everything else.

[00:34:18]Jeff Nesbitt: [00:34:18] cause you were probably trying really hard to make it work the first time. And I talked about this a little bit with Jessica Harriet, but that part in the, in a bad relationship when you're like, well, they said it was going to be hard.

[00:34:36] Mitch Bolden: [00:34:36] doesn't, it doesn't. And like I said, that's the one thing with Megan is like, it didn't feel like work. , but there's things that we have to work on.

[00:35:00] [00:34:59] Flaws or floss flaws, like my flaws, her flaws, what are your insecurities? You know? And it just kinda came up and that's a fun conversation. It was interesting. I've had that on here. Uh, yeah. And I mean, cause I've got, I've got insecurities just like anybody else. And so does she, and so we just kinda, it just kinda came up and , it, I didn't know where I was going with that, but so like, oh, that's what I was going.

[00:35:26] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:35:26] Don't let me forget to get, we got to get into that a little bit too. Well, of course cancer is fun.

[00:35:37] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:35:37] honestly, I'm excited to hear about it because you survive.

[00:35:50] Yeah. When yeah. You know,

[00:35:59] Mitch Bolden: [00:35:59] too much. [00:36:00] That'll give you cancer will cancer of the stomach anxiety. Uh, so, well you're talking about it and I said

[00:36:28] The supposedly the perfect model body.

[00:36:35] Mitch Bolden: [00:36:35] Yeah. That's not good. Uh, but that's, that was the whole meaning. Oh yeah. Have you seen her lately? She's still looks

[00:36:51] Take your shoes off with Rick Glassman. Shout out Rick Glassman. And she wasn't that interesting. I think Rick had to do a lot of work on that podcast. [00:37:00] She even had a friend with her, these girls, they didn't have a lot of substance. I don't know. I don't hold that against them. Why would they have to develop personalities looking the way they do, but we'll no

[00:37:11] So I said the, I mean, I don't have the perfect body. I don't, I don't match any of the models, bodies or anything like that. And they're just making, or, you know, I said, but the thing is, is that there's no quote unquote perfect body because me and you, aren't in agreement. Aren't going to agree exactly what the perfect body

[00:37:31] Mitch Bolden: [00:37:31] for exactly.

[00:37:46] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:37:46] um, the cool part too, is like, when you have those conversations, you start to realize like, oh, these things that I may have been self-conscious about my whole life that I've always considered flaws are actually what my partner loves.

[00:37:59] Mitch Bolden: [00:37:59] you [00:38:00] never know the flowable fluffing came up when we were talking because like, I still Harbor some stuff with my teeth. Like I have, I had braces and my teeth look fine, but I mean, I used to look like Megan is laughing at me, but I used to look like a sand shark, this kind of stuck out and in and over, you know,

[00:38:23] It's huge though, but

[00:38:30] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:38:30] okay with that now. Cause I got my braces

[00:38:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:38:34] feeling. It really is. That was a very shitty, uh, like I, I waited way too long to do that. I could have had races for free when I was on welfare as a kid and I chose not to because I was embarrassed.

[00:39:08] Mitch Bolden: [00:39:08] I did. Yeah. You know, and it's.

[00:39:13] Mitch Bolden: [00:39:13] yourself. It does. It does. I mean like I, when me and Megan met, I, you know, and I still struggle with something. I mean, you're always going to struggle with it. It never ends. No, it doesn't. But like I knew I pretty much knew

[00:39:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:39:34] yeah. I mean, no more choice in the matter,

[00:39:46] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:39:46] Do you think that there is a soulmate, like by Hollywood standards where it's like, there's the one, the one person they're out there somewhere, you got to go find them.

[00:40:00] Mitch Bolden: [00:40:00] I think it's like one in a billion that you're going to find that next one. Yeah. Like I found Megan, she's my person. If something happened between us or if something happened to her or something happened to me, I'd probably never find the other one.

[00:40:15] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:40:15] it's just like the one, meaning the one that you might actually run into in your life. Cause you only meet so many people. There's 7 billion people on the planet. You're not going to meet even anywhere close to.

[00:40:38] So, um, but it's. We laugh because we're very much different, you know, I'm, I, when it comes to politics, when it comes to some food, when it comes to, you know, views on public issues and, you know, but for the most part, everything else, like we finish each other's [00:41:00] sentences and we, I mean, like it's just simpatico, it clicks and you know, and it's just like,

[00:41:06] Oh man,

[00:41:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:41:08] It's sometimes I actually feel like I shouldn't talk about it so much on here because I don't want to make people feel bad. Like, cause there's a lot of people out there who do not have that. No, they're fucking miserable. They're miserable in a relationship with somebody who they're stuck with or they're lonely or, you know, there's lots of different scenarios where people are unhappy, but one out of a, maybe one out of a thousand people get to feel this feeling where it's just like, yeah, I found my person.

[00:41:37] Mitch Bolden: [00:41:37] Yeah. And I, and I never thought I would, I didn't either. You know? And I, cause I always, I mean, I went through relationships and I've went through friends. Yeah. But I didn't really didn't think I was going to ever find that one person. Cause I was like, you know, I get [00:42:00] bored easy.

[00:42:27] Yeah. Well, who's

[00:42:33] Mitch Bolden: [00:42:33] Yes and no. Um, I, uh, my lawyer told me not to talk too much about it, so there's nothing wrong with my ex in and of herself. She, I wish her the best. Um, we definitely were not good together. Um, it was almost like we triggered each other the worst out of each other.

[00:42:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:42:56] I

[00:43:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:43:08] um, cause you were being shitty to each other

[00:43:19] But it's, if I didn't have that first relationship in that first year, I wouldn't know what I have now. Yeah. You can compare it. Exactly. You know, and it's not saying that it was all her fault or all my fault. I mean, it takes two to tango for sure. You know, and it it's, you know, like, like they say, there's your side, my side.

[00:43:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:43:43] None of those three things are usually the

[00:44:07] Like, oh, the movies make it sound so easy. And they, you know, thinking

[00:44:34] Um, but then you get into your real life and you find yourself in this relationship and it's nothing like that. It's not so cute and funny. And she's actually really mean, and it hurts your feelings. It's like, well, fuck. Yeah. And then, so yeah, and that, and that find something else. And so. It seems like a common pattern with people from our generation where you have a failed marriage with somebody who wasn't right for you.

[00:45:05] Mitch Bolden: [00:45:05] What did the movies say? You're supposed to graduate high school, get a job, get married, have kids. Yeah.

[00:45:17] Mitch Bolden: [00:45:17] And it is, and it, to be honest with you though, it probably made me a better person. I mean, I'm making, I'll tell you too, but, uh, I'm a people pleaser. Like I want people to be happy. I want people to like me. I want, you know, um, I'm just now getting to the point where it's like, you're going to like me for going to like me, if not then cool.

[00:45:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:45:52] guy. Yeah. That's an important thing to think

[00:46:06] He was telling me that's all you got is

[00:46:21] And it's going to benefit you in the long run. Anyway, I edited

[00:46:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:46:34] So it was one of those shame tacks.

[00:46:42] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:46:42] It's hard not to call my kids names, even ones that are like that, where they sometimes do slip out of your mouth mouth. Because like, there's a huge difference between being like, Hey, you're lying. You're a good person. And you're telling a lie right now. That's not something you should do or saying, Hey.

[00:47:08] Mitch Bolden: [00:47:08] you're a fucking liar, here's a spot as soap. Yeah. Bite down. Cause I'm going to pull it out. Oh, did you get

[00:47:15] So, oh man. Liquid soap was worse. Oh yeah. One time. Me and my brother were playing a bartender where like I was giving him shots of a country time lemonade, sliding them down the bar to him and you take the shot. And I filled one halfway up with lemon, joy, dish soap. And then I put the lemonade on top of that.

[00:47:41] Mitch Bolden: [00:47:41] that as a, a big brother and my brother fell asleep on the couch when me and my friend were hanging out when we were kids and, you know, rubbed Tabasco on the inside of his lips, on his gums. And he woke up just screaming and crying and I'm like, well, I don't know what mom.

[00:47:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:47:55] I mean, putting your finger in his mouth, when he's asleep in the first

[00:48:04] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:48:04] are not nice.

[00:48:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:48:13] for you.

[00:48:23] Mitch Bolden: [00:48:23] jumping out too many vans on the beach.

[00:48:30] Mitch Bolden: [00:48:30] max. It was my brother. I was the careful one. Like I, before I'm going to do anything, I'm going to tell you how many ways I can break a bone doing it.

[00:48:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:48:50] just, I was never into that shit. No, hell no. I'm not going on that rope swing. I don't like pain. No,

[00:48:58] Yeah.

[00:49:11] Mitch Bolden: [00:49:11] entertainment after you get hurt doing it. Right. Instigate

[00:49:16] Yes. Yes. I want people to do it. I want to see what happens, but I'm not going to be the one who tries it. Yeah. That's, what's great about being a big brother. Right? What about material? It's called peer pressure. Yeah. Yeah. Actually I don't even know if that's peer pressure. That's like social. Yeah, yeah.

[00:49:38] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:49:38] things.

[00:49:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:49:48] Okay. So, um, let's talk a little bit about cancer.

[00:49:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:49:55] these days. Um, and we don't have to cover it, [00:50:00] all that, all that thoroughly by really does

[00:50:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:50:07] um, well, so, uh, did you hear Cooper blouse interview by chance?

[00:50:17] Mitch Bolden: [00:50:17] extremely good. Made me touch my balls may too. Uh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. It was looking at him like this might as well. Yeah. Weren't you there? Yeah. But yeah, definitely.

[00:50:54] Like it took somebody I loved and then, oh God, [00:51:00] a freshmen, maybe junior in high school, uh, or freshman or sophomore. And. I remember coming home, my mom telling me that aunt Jody had passed and I lost it. And I came down and spent a week at, uh Lacien with uncle Chuck and, and it, it really, really sucked, you know, and that was the first real experience I had with it.

[00:51:46] Very, not good for you. Food cancer fuel you man. And, uh, and just gobbling. And I was probably 230 pounds. And then I took a new position outside of there and exercising more and [00:52:00] I guess not eating as much garbage and started losing weight. Looking back now, it was a lot of weight and I didn't realize it was until I got hurt at work.

[00:52:33] So a little baggy, like, not like it went over my leg. Like my, my thigh was, is about as big as my forearm. Oh geez. And I remember his face and he went, holy shit. And I said, what, what he was, you realize what you just did, like your pant leg, like your pants aren't super tight. But like you pulled it from the bottom of your boot all the way up to your crotch.

[00:53:17] Don't like needles fucking hated them. Oh man. Oh. So I went to the doctor again, tried to talk her out of doing the blood work. So I'm like, ah, no needles. Yeah. She said, no, we're doing it. And she goes, we're going to test for everything. HIV aids and sound like a little concerning. Did I get HIV? You know, I'm never needle poke.

[00:53:59] I, okay. [00:54:00] Two hours later, she called that's a pretty quick turnaround. She goes, can you come back in? And I said, yeah, but you gotta give me something because you're freaking me the fuck out. And she said, well, your numbers are high. And we just want to talk to him. I said, okay. So I called in sick again to work and went in and she goes, well, she goes a normal white blood cell count is between four and 11,000.

[00:54:47] Yeah, no, really. Other than getting a checkup or a physical or in high school, you know, I, I, hadn't been sick and I'm like, so went up there and yeah, I got [00:55:00] diagnosed November of 14 with her November. Was it November of, yeah, it was 14 of a chronic myelogenous leukemia blast phase.

[00:55:13] What is that? I don't know. I don't know that word.

[00:55:32] Right. So there's all CML. , and there's a couple of different ones. So I had CML, but I was blast phase, which so they don't leukemia is not really in like stages, like one. Yeah. Because it's not centralized. No, it's more of a blast phase. You know, this phase it's phases. So blast phase is like stage four.

[00:55:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:55:56] you're saying it's

[00:56:16] I did a, I did a blog kind of, uh, when I was going through this. , so it's, it's like a hollowed out. It looks like a meat thermometer. It's hauled out that they drill into your hip for a core sample. Yeah, pretty much. Oh my God. And when they draw it out, the worst nerve endings in your body or in your bone marrow.

[00:56:38] Mitch Bolden: [00:56:38] the prep , I'll get into that. Uh, so I'm trying to keep it somewhat brief. Uh, you don't have to, we got the time the, I went through, they did the biopsy, they did the spinal tap. They did the, I had every test under the sun done there and I was Philadelphia positive, which is a chromosome [00:57:00] chromosome mutation.

[00:57:24] I had about a 60% chance of staying in remission or recovering and without I had about a 6% chance. Oh wow. So, but it's a lot longer process. , so in and out of a hospital, I did a, like a weekend at a time, inpatient chemo, , at St. Peter's hospital. , shout out St. Peter's hospital nursing on the third floor, the oncology department and Providence oncology.

[00:58:14] So I didn't have to have like a port thing put in my head. It's a lot worse when it's in your spine. Imagine. So they preventatively, when they go in and do a spinal tap, they put chemo in there just in case. , so went through all that. , and then went up for prep in may of 15, to Seattle cancer Caroline's and prepped for my stem cell transplant.

[00:58:51] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:58:51] Okay.

[00:59:03] The quickest they've ever seen really, but they found a closer person or just a small, better match. And so she didn't end up doing it, but, so what

[00:59:14] Mitch Bolden: [00:59:14] So if you match for somebody you're gonna, they're gonna give you some, uh, medication to make your stem cells like super produce.

[00:59:46] And it was, I think it was eight years after she got put on the registry that she got notified about me.

[00:59:54] Mitch Bolden: [00:59:54] know. And she, she, she took it extremely serious. . When I first [01:00:00] found out I had cancer and stuff and I was up in Seattle and getting all this stuff going on, she actually went to Seattle for a vacation.

[01:00:22]Jeff Nesbitt: [01:00:22] , did you meet when you guys were both in Seattle?

[01:00:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:00:35] I already gave you my bone marrow. I don't want to also have to be

[01:00:41] And so you're actually from the time that they donate, you can not have personal contact for a year and then it's all through be the match because I could release as much information as I wanted to her. And she could, to me, after that year, before the year, I could write her a letter that was generic.

[01:01:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:01:17] I bet that's a bond that it was pretty hard to replicate.

[01:01:43] But so the transplant in of itself, she, it was like an eight hour blood. Like she was donating blood, essentially eight hours in the chair and, , she donated it and then he literally private jet fly it back. And I got him at midnight that night. Wow. , and it's like a blood [01:02:00] for me, but I was in for the transplant.

[01:02:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:02:13] Wow. How'd you feel that day?

[01:02:23], and then I got mucositis really bad, which just all the mucus membranes just turned me into a big canker sore in my mouth. So I literally was fed on a bag for two weeks.

[01:02:37] Mitch Bolden: [01:02:37] that and the radio or radiation causes manually that, , so I literally laid there with a ice pack on my face and they put me on a pain drip pump button thing.

[01:02:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:02:53] nervous that you're going to end up getting addicted? No,

[01:03:00] I know right now it's like, cause when she brought it in and I was like, I told you, I didn't want that. She goes, yeah, I know, but I hadn't slept in days just in pain. And she goes, no, I know you don't want it. I'm just gonna put it here. So it's right here, the buttons right there, you don't have to use it.

[01:03:28] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:03:28] It really is good medicine. It is, you use it carefully.

[01:03:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:03:43] country.

[01:03:45] Mitch Bolden: [01:03:45] Let me see Seattle. I love going there to visit me too, but

[01:03:50] Mitch Bolden: [01:03:50] now. No, but it's so yeah, I went through all that and , I had the transplant in June of 15. So my birthdays, the 11th, my [01:04:00] transplant birthday is on the ninth. , and. Five years out now.

[01:04:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:04:07] So, so the transplant itself, this is probably a dumb question, but I've never really known exactly what the picture with a bone marrow transplant,

[01:04:20] I mean, it was, it was brutal, but now they, when they did the radiation and everything, they killed my bone marrow. Okay. So that's what they're doing with that is there, I was stood in this, I've got a picture somewhere it's on that site. , it looked like something at a saw, you know, they put me in this contraption.

[01:04:55] Like yeah. You know, and then, so it was like

[01:05:02] Mitch Bolden: [01:05:02] And then the last dose of radiation that they do is in men, cause leukemia can hide in the brain and in the balls. So literally the last, most important places. So the last, last shot of chemo or radiation was, I had my feet up like a woman giving birth and, and my nuts were on this like plastic beam and they pointed it towards my balls and you know, everything's respectful, but it was just like, yeah, Spread Eagle up there with your nuts on a block.

[01:05:53] For sure. You know, uh, I know lots of people that have been given a year to live and have lasted 10 years. [01:06:00] Um, there, uh, there was a lady that was going through at the same time. I was that I met up in Seattle, had the same exact thing. I did it and she didn't make it through transplant. Uh, she got an infection and died.

[01:06:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:06:13] lot, very

[01:06:31] Um, at the time I was a smoker, but you still

[01:06:41] Mitch Bolden: [01:06:41] I battled, you know, but that's a tough one. I had, I had an amazing support system. , my mom, I mean, I'm sure I'll get her to listen to this, but. I can't say enough about my mom.

[01:07:16] But, uh, um, there you go. There's the IPA. I'll try some of that. That actually has a good sound to it.

[01:07:31]

[01:07:36]Mitch Bolden: [01:07:36] , I was talking about the support. Oh yeah.

[01:07:41] Mitch Bolden: [01:07:41] more bearable. It did, , like we talked about a little bit about the humor. , , I have got a group of guys, like I said, that I ride motorcycles with. And, , went to a get together with them.

[01:08:14] He looks and he comes up to me and goes, you know what? It was, I'm kind of pissed off. What was, I shaved my fucking hair and he didn't die. He goes, I did it for nothing. It was going to be a great story. He goes, at least then it would have meant something. I mean, shit.

[01:08:37] You can't,

[01:08:46] It's not. Um, but, but when you hit it, come to find out the nurses at St. Peter's used to fight over me. Oh yeah. Like, not that I was like some special patient or whatever, but it, I was, I was [01:09:00] self-sufficient most of the time I wipe my own ass. I wasn't, I wasn't whiny. Like, unless I was nauseated, they didn't really hear from me.

[01:09:30], but for the most part, it was, you know, , I think having it made me a better person. , I know it's kind of a cliche, but cliches are cliches

[01:09:41] Mitch Bolden: [01:09:41] I would agree. They're usually true. And it is, it did it did it made me a better, yeah. That made me, you know, realize what I wanted out of life and what I want to experience and that I was unhappy with the way that things were going at the time.

[01:09:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:09:56] were you still in your first marriage during this time? Okay.

[01:10:04] emotionally?

[01:10:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:10:09] that way, very tactical way to put it. Yeah,

[01:10:16] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:10:16] Well, that's gotta be hard too, to have your partner.

[01:10:25] So I can't even think about that. So it, uh, yeah. Um, I wasn't there. , she took care of the house and the kids or whatever, but I just, I just wasn't. I realized when I went through that whole thing that I think when we split up, she said, I'm just content. And I said, what? I said, we're both unhappy. And she said, well, I'm content being unhappy.

[01:10:54] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:10:54] I'm not, what do you do with that?

[01:11:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:11:09] happiness. Isn't the end all be all. Like, there's a lot of things that to accomplish them.

[01:11:32] That's no good.

[01:11:38] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:11:38] Me too. Right. I'm trying to help it. Well, no, I was thinking about like what I was using as examples. I was picturing like working out or doing a really digging a hole or doing a hard job. And those things do make me happy if I'm thinking

[01:11:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:11:55] Yeah. No, but it's different between like, um, [01:12:00] because it's, I get happy from that stuff because I know it's going somewhere, but if I'm working my ass off and I know it's not going to amount to anything, it might even make things worse. Like in a relationship is pretty much the only time that happens. But we'll,

[01:12:17] If you don't fight your full shit. And if you don't finally get up yeah. And it's not healthy at all. Yeah. , and I wouldn't even call fighting it's, it's arguing in a bad way. No disagreeing having a disagreement. , me and Megan, we may get anxious nerves and we may have to take a step back. I have a hard time sometimes taking that a step back.

[01:12:52], I, for the first time. Totally feel like I am in a [01:13:00] partnership. Oh, that's nice. You know? Yeah. Like, and like I said, I don't wish anything ill on my ex. Like she, I hope she finds happiness. I hope she found what I found. Yeah, no, , not bad people just not good to,

[01:13:16] Like I ran into my former in-laws this morning at Costco , it was good to see him. I haven't seen him for years and they're good people.

[01:13:43] Mitch Bolden: [01:13:43] And I know like when I spoke to my ex, I mean, there was, I went through different people and, you know, meeting people and go on dates and all that, you know, that

[01:14:01] And then by the time I was with my second one, it was, it's definitely,

[01:14:17] I

[01:14:24]Mitch Bolden: [01:14:24] , but

[01:14:35] Or Christian singles. Oh yeah. Christian singles got to do some Christian mingles or a J date for the Jewish population changing. I think that was that's a real site or it was interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I never did the online thing, but now it's like the norm. That's what everyone does. That's how you find.

[01:14:53] Mitch Bolden: [01:14:53] buddy. See, and I did, I had the profiles and all that kind of stuff, and that [01:15:00] was really my way of getting out there. Cause I wasn't, I'm not really like a, when I'm with a group of people, I'm a social butterfly. Like I can bullshit with anybody and have a good time, but I don't just go out to the bars and stuff.

[01:15:35], and she didn't Kaboom. Yeah. You , and that would put a bunch of conditions on it. No, no. The funny thing is he's talking about conditions. The funny thing is though, is it Megan? When she don't kill me, man. , so when she was single, she actually wrote out like he has to do this, this, you know, just not like he has to have [01:16:00] six pack abs you know, none of that bullshit, but it was like, he has to own his own house.

[01:16:20], she wasn't gonna stop. And, , we were just talking about it the other day and she's like, you checked every fucking box. She goes, cause when we got together, she was probably not ready to date. Like it just just happened. And all of her friends and everybody's, you know, more, a lot of them said, what, what are you doing?

[01:17:07] And they were together for like 50 or 60 years.

[01:17:26] Yeah. You gotta,

[01:17:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:17:50] what's your love language.

[01:18:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:18:00] words of affirmation. Do you show love in the same way that you like to receive it? No, I don't

[01:18:16] That's maybe one of Megan's things and I've, I'm getting better. Like I try to, or I try and do the random, it's not a holiday. I'm going to go with something. When I stopped my Safeway, I'm just going to go get your flowers, you know, or I'm going to go get her a cup of coffee or, you know, trying to do those

[01:18:34] Gifts. Isn't one of the languages. Cause she

[01:18:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:18:44] Yeah, I think when I first got together with Melissa, I didn't really know what kind of love languages I spoke. And I thought I did cause like I have a psychology degree. And so I was over-confident in understanding people and understanding my myself, like some stuff [01:19:00] just comes with time. You just don't know until you've been through it.

[01:19:22] Mitch Bolden: [01:19:22] Yeah. That's the biggest thing that I don't want change, Megan.

[01:19:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:19:39] oh yeah. Well, you can't talk anymore after throat punch, right? Yeah. You don't put

[01:19:50] You know, those, those, even the, the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever it it's, that's what I fell in love

[01:20:08] That's something that it took me a little bit of learning to get, get to that point where I was just like, okay, maybe if you think you have to fix a person, you need to pick a different person because someone else doesn't think they're broken.

[01:20:27], and she'll readily say that. , but. It was the right time. And that's, you know, I can say it here because she won't hear it till then, but that's part of my vows is, you know, that, that phone call about a haircut was probably the best phone call that I could have made for the both of us. Yeah. You know?

[01:20:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:20:50] probably something you didn't even think much about fucking haircut. Yeah. Little did you know was the rest of your life?

[01:21:05] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:21:05] $5, Tiffany. He was fine.

[01:21:11] Mitch Bolden: [01:21:11] Cool. Oh yeah. I wish I brought them. I'd read them on here.

[01:21:17] Mitch Bolden: [01:21:17] when I sat down the road, I wanted to tell, I, I like humor, so I that's my go-to.

[01:21:38] she's amazingly beautiful. I wanted her to know that I appreciate how she treats me and our family and, , you know, the things that she does that she doesn't have to do. , and then just the way, you know, I think in part of that, I say the way that she loves me, , because I've never felt more loved.

[01:22:15] She'll never, you know, , that's just not, I'll put it into work, I'm in this for the long haul. I said, we're going to be the couple at the assisted living center that there, like, you guys need to keep it down.

[01:22:29] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:29] dads back apart. They pushed their beds together again.

[01:22:38] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:38] That's romantic, man. I like that

[01:22:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:44] people. Haven't sex winning, you know, what's happening, but nobody wants to think.

[01:22:57]Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:57] When me and Melissa got married, we did letters. [01:23:00] Like we both wrote handwritten letters to each other. I know we did the letter thing cause I still have the letter and I worked really hard on mine. And another thing with that was I think the reason, yeah, no, we did the standard vows that we got from our pastor. I think in the.

[01:23:32] Right. I know if I had to throw her under the bus for a tagline, it's going to happen. So I was like, if I write a letter, I don't have to impress anybody with how hilarious I am. I can just be honest and be real and explain. Cause it's, it really is such a huge deal. And it's like all the, I it's hard to express good feelings without feeling cheesy or like, well, I don't know, but I like them.

[01:23:57] Mitch Bolden: [01:23:57] romantic and I am too. , I haven't [01:24:00] always been that way. I mean, either I have grown to be that and like, she already knows like, I'm baby. Like as soon as I see her, but, , I I'm going to blubber like a fucking baby. Like I already know it.

[01:24:34] I won't see her until she walks down the hall. That's been a powerful moment. Oh my God. You know, like I told our, our photographers and you got to catch that. I said, because I probably from both angles because I'm going to back up. Yeah. I'm going to be, I already know maybe a mess, you know? And, , and it's God, it's beautiful, man.

[01:24:58] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:24:58] wait. Yeah. That's the way you should feel [01:25:00] going into a marriage.

[01:25:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:25:10] a week. That'll be nice. I heard they don't even have COVID in Florida.

[01:25:17] Mitch Bolden: [01:25:17] It's kind of like that behind the scenes thing, you know, but we are staying at a really nice resort down there, beach, front, uh, terrorist thing. And you can swim with dolphins ordered that last night and yeah. And possibly you're going to on the first day, meet my donor for the first time.

[01:25:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:25:52] Have you ever been to Disney world?

[01:25:54] That's where I

[01:26:02] [01:26:00] Mitch Bolden: [01:26:02] I really hope that it was a small role in the Chinese section. A little smaller,

[01:26:13] Mitch Bolden: [01:26:13] You're like a knows thunder mountain railroad

[01:26:21], but yeah, no, I always have a soft spot in my heart for Disneyland. Because when we went there, it was like hugely stressful event because we had, you know, a five-year-old and a seven year old. And I was, it's like my busy season for work. we were freshly married. So I was like, not in a position to say no, or make compromises that I was just like, oh, the family wants to go on a vacation and my busiest month.

[01:27:01]So it was stressful. So I'm like scrambling to get it. And I had these jobs to finish and I ended up finishing them, but, , it was really stressful and the whole time was just like, you have to walk everywhere. So the kids are like riding me and I'm just like carrying them all around.

[01:27:34] Yeah, exactly. Even though we sprung for the extra, the hotel with the extra room, like planning to have alone time and we were there for like five days. And at the end of most days, I was just like, I just walked 12 miles with child on my back. I got no thrusts in me. And it was, uh, you know, no man wants to say that, but sometimes it happens

[01:27:57] You're going to have to get on because you know, I [01:28:00] did mostly rides today. You got to do the ride.

[01:28:15] That's where I proposed. And then we got married in Las Vegas in March or April. Just kidding, Melissa, April 22nd. , and then, so, yeah, and then in June we went, took the kids in the Disneyland. It was almost like a honeymoon for our whole family because Sawyer and Elsa were, were along for the whole thing.

[01:28:51] Mitch Bolden: [01:28:51] oh, she's our flower girl. Yeah. So she's part of it. And then I, like I said, it was like seven months from the time we met to when [01:29:00] we got engaged.

[01:29:24] So she's thinking, okay, we're going to go do this and then we're going to go there. And then I got, so our horses are actually at a friend of ours house. , she is a widow and she's, , an older lady. And so we like during COVID, we took her groceries to her and you know, all that kind of stuff, but our horses are there.

[01:29:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:29:53] are, those are amazing creatures,

[01:30:00] [01:30:00] And

[01:30:02] Mitch Bolden: [01:30:02] could be really old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've had, I mean, they probably been there. I don't even know, but they've, you know, 34 years. But, um, so I, she always said, you know, you're never gonna, you know, we're joking. She goes, you never get my parents to come down and you never, you know, you'd never get that.

[01:30:39] And I just dropped to a knee right in front of the it's actually. There it is on my phone.

[01:30:50] Mitch Bolden: [01:30:50] God. It is out in the valley somewhere that is out black Creek out in Montecito, just that's her house and koi ponds right down from that. But, , [01:31:00] inside was Ellen, her parents, her sister, my parents, all in the, you know, it was the first time they'd all met Ellen.

[01:31:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:31:13] that's actually a better way to do it. Yeah. I just had,

[01:31:30] I gotta do it. You know? And so I just did it and she, she jerked her hand away at first. And then she was like, oh, and then she put her hand back out there. And of course he said yes, and little knit, little trauma. Yeah. And then in the background, I hear her sister go, did she say yes, she looks, and of course she was surprised I got her parents and everybody to come.

[01:32:09] But

[01:32:13] Mitch Bolden: [01:32:13] trying to, uh, practiced

[01:32:19] Mitch Bolden: [01:32:19] in the moment. Uh, so I told, uh, I don't remember where I was going.

[01:32:31] Mitch Bolden: [01:32:31] talking about the proposal? Yeah,

[01:32:33] Mitch Bolden: [01:32:33] so I, it was like I said, seven months, and then we said, well, when are we gonna meet? When are we gonna get married, Jean? She only did that, brought her right back around. Bam. . So I'm my birthday's on the 11th, the 12th.

[01:32:47] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:32:47] we'll remind you the

[01:32:54] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:32:54] I actually did the same thing. Ours is on earth day. Like not that I celebrate earth day all that often, but I will [01:33:00] now. I don't know. When are they is April 22nd. Oh, is it? Yeah, same as my anniversary.

[01:33:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:33:07] Yeah. That's good. A lot of guys and women probably get in trouble for getting dates. Oh, I'm horrible. I'm pretty bad

[01:33:31] And I was like, came into this fancy candlelight dinner. Yeah. Not that you weren't important plate, but that steak. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:33:50] I can still tell

[01:33:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:33:53] Well, dude, we grew up with 20 phone numbers just rattling around in our heads. I still remember my best friend's phone number from [01:34:00] like first grade, but yeah, it was 6, 6, 5, 4, 4, 8, 8, shout out Brian martini, like, uh it's it's yeah, I'm serious.

[01:34:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:34:17] yeah, actually I still remember Colton's I still remember Alex max. I still remember most of them. I, yeah, the, uh, I still remember my library card number D 6 5 4 7 9 9 0 1. When me and Melissa met, actually one of the things we had, like a series of these things that would happen where we just like looked at each other, like what the fuck?

[01:34:57] Like she knew of this like [01:35:00] obscure, , ultra marathon runner that I had been obsessed with. Like, and I started talking about him. She was like, oh yeah, yeah, Scott. You're like, of course, like, what do you even know who that is? No clue. But it was, those moments are important. Cause I think about them still when I'm like, just feeling amazed that I actually found somebody like this that I actually love.

[01:35:23] Mitch Bolden: [01:35:23] Well, it's, , I'm the same way with numbers. Usually some of those phone numbers are hard, but I mean, like I remember I used to remember my you number from U S UWS medical center because they make two people recite it before they give you your meds and you have to recite it.

[01:35:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:35:39] trouble for HIPAA now. Like winning, I'm going to get booted off the internet. I have to say

[01:35:49] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:35:49] Charlie sheen. I said, so

[01:35:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:35:52] Exactly is he doing okay? I think so. You know, I remember a couple of years ago he was like every day he was in the [01:36:00] news because you get

[01:36:01] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:36:01] a porn star. Yeah. But leading up to that, he was like famous, famous just for being a wild man.

[01:36:12] You know, granted I was voted class clown, but

[01:36:29] It would have been so weird to go to a school where they have like a thousand people in every class,

[01:36:35] Okay. So like money up there and federal loans too. Right. Just huge school. Like, I mean, like I talked to her about my classmates. She's like, like, you guys all got along, you everybody I'm like, yeah. The principal would come out with a guitar and sing like Johnny Cash's boy named Sue. It's just how it was, you know?

[01:37:12] And I'm like, yeah, you've had a taste of that small town feeling, you know, there there's shitty things about small towns. Everybody knows everybody in there everybody's in everybody's business, but

[01:37:23] Mitch Bolden: [01:37:23] Exactly. Yeah. That's exactly it. You know, when I got sick community came together, I can't say enough about people at my work.

[01:37:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:37:44] I agree. I mean, some

[01:37:59] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:37:59] the [01:38:00] people you would've thought forgot about you years

[01:38:06] Wow. Like, and that's abnormal for somebody who goes into that situation, you know? And it's not, it's not me bragging. That's me saying that I had so much support. Well,

[01:38:21] Mitch Bolden: [01:38:21] Well, they do or they want to, but uh, no, it was, you know, and it just, I never felt so much love.

[01:38:47] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:38:47] Geez. Yeah. God, it's a lot more now.

[01:38:52] Uh huh.

[01:39:19] No, it's like, uh, yeah. No thank you. No, even if I had the money, I would not ever have any interest in. No, I, I

[01:39:33] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:39:33] Uh, we can, but

[01:39:42] But I lean more conservative. I love my guns. Oh,

[01:39:50] Mitch Bolden: [01:39:50] What kind of guns do I not got?

[01:39:54] Mitch Bolden: [01:39:54] Uh, a lot of it is for, I'm not a big hunter.

[01:40:02] Mitch Bolden: [01:40:02] It is. It's a blast I go out with.

[01:40:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:40:07] The people up there in that area, they know how to fucking find big time. All the guys who I know from north county, that's who I asked questions to because they, they somehow even know all about that. There he's down here.

[01:40:18] Mitch Bolden: [01:40:18] big into it. So that's, I'm more of a home defense and collector. , I, I believe in the second amendment, I believe , , that to me, I'm not a constitutionalist, but I, that is the one amendment that I believe there's no interpretation. Like, do I think that we need howitzers?

[01:40:42] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:40:42] is a tricky word. Exactly. But you don't need the constitution, but it's sure damn good thing. We

[01:40:59] And [01:41:00] they're like, well, back then they had muskets will,

[01:41:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:41:07] better shit than that. Exactly. They don't even need a person they'll just fly a drone over there.

[01:41:13] Mitch Bolden: [01:41:13] like, so they're going to win anyway. But in that sense, they're going to

[01:41:19] Mitch Bolden: [01:41:19] about instead of penalizing the law abiding gun owners. Take some ownership that we have a mental health issue in this country.

[01:41:28] Mitch Bolden: [01:41:28] Flat out. Yeah. You know, I just, I know a lot of people that struggle with mental health and you know, I got an anxiety disorder.

[01:41:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:41:39] it's the plague of our generation. I don't know if it was this bad in, in previous generations because they didn't have data on it, but, and they didn't even really know what it was. He used to call women with things. It hysterical and men with anxiety didn't exist.

[01:42:04] Mitch Bolden: [01:42:04] back in our parents' era, it was you're a pussy or your bitch, you know, like really that

[01:42:11] Mitch Bolden: [01:42:11] childhood too.

[01:42:15] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:42:15] know? And, and to a certain extent that kind of philosophy, there are, there is a time and place for it. When, when you don't have the luxury of working through shit in a timely fashion, when you're in a war, when you're in a disaster, when you're in a place where like that whole.

[01:42:46] Mitch Bolden: [01:42:46] And there's a way to me, there's a way to do it. Like being, being told that you're, you're being a pussy or whatever, you know, that kind of stuff. It does stick with you, you know, you remember that and that type of stuff, but I've tried to change that with my, you know, being a [01:43:00] parent stuff like that is, , I'm not saying Lila doesn't take a diet every now and then, but when she does, when she was really little, it wasn't, ah, come on, don't be a pussy.

[01:43:21] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:43:21] the tone you set the tone for their emotions because they're there.

[01:43:33] Mitch Bolden: [01:43:33] Like, are we good? Are we gonna play this?

[01:43:39] Mitch Bolden: [01:43:39] I'm going to get grabbed and picked up and held.

[01:43:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:43:43] So you just got to know how to play it. It's tough though. I never really never really gets easy. It gets more and more complicated. Like my kids now are just coming into those years where they're gonna start acting like teenagers they've already started. And it hurts my feelings because I I'm used to them just [01:44:00] thinking I'm the shit.

[01:44:22] And then we can, you can have my attention now. It's kind of flipped where it's just like, I want their attention. I'm just like, come on, guys. Just let's look at me. Let's talk. Let's play. I don't know. Just, yeah, I don't want them to be just a, are you a poker? Uh, yeah, I tend to

[01:44:42] Some people need it because it's. So I was in the same grade is my older sister Alicia. Yeah. So, I mean, I know she would remember who I am, but I'm sure she does I know where I was going with. See everyone again. Tokers prodder. So that older sibling thing, like you were talking about with Jake, I was [01:45:00] same thing with blade and I do the same thing.

[01:45:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:45:13] it more. Yeah. I do with myself, I find it healing like stuff that really, really gets me uncomfortable.

[01:45:21] Mitch Bolden: [01:45:21] not the greatest at it. I know like today, Megan did, , they were stuff that we talked about today and it was like, you know, I don't, uh, you know, I don't want to admit that I don't like that part about me. You know? I don't like the fact that I got a poetry here and you know, that Hilton was saying that he didn't want abs.

[01:45:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:45:40] Almost cut that out. I'm just like, how could even say such people are going to hate him. I

[01:45:46] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:45:46] Like while I was listening to that editing, I was like flipping through pictures. I have of Jeff to make promos. And these like all Jack and his six-pack and all it was like, you don't even deserve these pictures.

[01:45:56] Mitch Bolden: [01:45:56] when you said that I was listening to it on the way down here. [01:46:00] And then when he said. Uh, yeah, I took some pictures earlier and I can't wait to look at them.

[01:46:10] Mitch Bolden: [01:46:10] I think it's

[01:46:12] He's one of the few people who I know is listening to the show. Um, because he talks, he calls me up and we talk about it. Also you should see Jeff. If I was gay, I'd be after him. For sure.

[01:46:29] Mitch Bolden: [01:46:29] Yeah. That's, you know, you don't like looking at yourself in that light, like, like I'm a, I'm a hairy guy. Like, you know, there's things that I don't like about that, it's so

[01:46:39] Mitch Bolden: [01:46:39] If you look to pick yourself apart.

[01:47:00], I don't know where that stems from, like at work. , I'm super confident. Well, I, I know what I'm doing already position. Yeah. I know what I'm doing. I know how to do it. And I know that I'm capable of doing it when it comes to relationships and dads, that's being a dad. I'm,

[01:47:22] When you're in a professional situation, you know what to do? Give me a policy. Yeah, exactly. Can I read about this ahead of time? And you can with the dad stuff, but there's a lot of bullshit out there. You can

[01:47:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:47:40] You don't have to plug cancer, man.

[01:47:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:47:50] like the web MD. Oh

[01:48:02] I got on the, I got on every site. There was, well, they have to tell you the worst case scenario and a percentages and nowhere could give me a percentage. It was just that, uh, good, bad, ugly, good luck.

[01:48:16] Mitch Bolden: [01:48:16] and even, even the reputable, you know, it's just like, they got to tell you the worst case scenario because if they don't and that happens, they can see them.

[01:48:32] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:48:32] no one had him. Good information is not something everybody knows how to do. No, it's there's I mean, I'd say a lot of people don't.

[01:48:41] Like

[01:48:45] Mitch Bolden: [01:48:45] Most of them. I know you, I know you say on the podcast a lot that, you know, you're not a financial advisor, but I listened to you about Bitcoin and I'm like, fuck, I should probably just buy some. And I'm like, but I don't know, fucking think about it. You didn't buy it last week.

[01:49:11] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:49:11] that's the thing is it's like the crypto market is, uh, it's like the wild west. It's all very, very big swings. It's not interesting to me then don't get into it because it's changing money.

[01:49:35] Mitch Bolden: [01:49:35] And honestly, I've heard you beyond the Elon Musk bandwagon, and this is new one on the way down here.

[01:49:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:49:43] fuck that guy. Yeah. Um, I still love Elon Musk. Don't get me wrong. , I I'm amazed by him. I read, , in a biography about him like five years ago. I just had never really, I've heard a lot of biographies and I had never read one about a person who did so many [01:50:00] huge things. And at the time the book was written, he was like, just really starting with the space X stuff.

[01:50:24] He clearly just found a way to make a shitload of money. Like, no, I can just say something and then all these people will rush out and buy it and I sell it. And then, boom, boom, boom. Did he talk

[01:50:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:50:35] Corona? Be surprised that he's in with the chairman. People can make sense.

[01:50:44] Mitch Bolden: [01:50:44] The whole thing is I, I do enjoy the T some of the tactical stuff you talked about. I love the rawness of your show.

[01:50:53] Mitch Bolden: [01:50:53] Like I told you earlier, I really enjoy the, the one you did with, and I know we were like diving into the podcasts.

[01:51:18] I know it does go through so,

[01:51:37] And , it's kind of grown into its own thing and I've, and I love it and I wouldn't, I wouldn't change a thing and it also kind of. Hilton to come in and out as, as he pleases him, when he's got something to share, we'll come in and, and we've done a lot of episodes that have not gone anywhere like that, that we just have in the vault.

[01:51:58] Mitch Bolden: [01:51:58] the last one here, the [01:52:00] dream one, I'm going to finish it on the way home. But like some of the dreams that you guys were talking about are vivid. Like I have the same ones but mine wasn't, somebody catches me and kills me or anything like that.

[01:52:39] Oh shit. It was real. That really happened. It really helped. I was telling my mom one night and she was like, no, that happened. And he didn't know. No, I had no idea. I was like two or three years old. Holy shit. Yeah. So

[01:52:56] Mitch Bolden: [01:52:56] Wow. Yeah, it was really weird.

[01:53:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:53:09] as well. I love saved if he was there. I love Rick pointer. He's a good dude to bounce in butcher.

[01:53:25], so I got made fun of kind of by some other people when I was growing up. And even in my adult years of I'm just going to sound stupid, but okay. Loved it when I was growing up and still

[01:53:42] Mitch Bolden: [01:53:42] for pro wrestling. I'm good with it now, but, uh, it, you know, growing up, it was hard, you know, I had a good friend.

[01:54:11] Um, and I, one day I was like, oh, I want to watch this. You know, it was, I can't remember what it was, my WrestleMania or something, but, , I just said it. And she's like, what? Uh, she's like per wrestling. I'm like, yeah, Why didn't you tell me that that's like, what's a vulnerable, you know, like most people don't really care for it.

[01:54:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:54:43] It's probably really fun. It's

[01:54:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:54:53] athletic. Oh yeah. Very dangerous. Dangerous than real

[01:54:58] You know, me, I, I wouldn't watch [01:55:00] it in person, , I just, it's, it's a lot of fun and I know that's not like a huge thing, but the whole, the whole meaning behind that whole conversation is being accepting, you know, and runs in there. What we're talking about is just, , I'm sure there's PTSD and other mental health stuff that I deal with, but it's that acceptance

[01:55:26] Mitch Bolden: [01:55:26] Yeah. You got enough? I think so

[01:55:44], I think it's cool. I just never got into it because I didn't have cable when I was a

[01:56:03] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:56:03] It, I mean, I'm careful with Disney, but can assholes. Yeah. I imagine most of the corporations, O w D or Zoe DWF

[01:56:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:56:19] Which was way less known at the time. Yeah. I

[01:56:26] That's great. So that's, I was that kid bouncing between the two shows that

[01:56:42] Mitch Bolden: [01:56:42] were first getting into that because when my parents were kids, you know, like my mom remembers watching

[01:56:49] My dad talks about

[01:56:59] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:56:59] it [01:57:00] fuck you. If you said it wasn't, it's like, uh, it's just, um, it's

[01:57:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:57:13] It is a dance mixed with the fight.

[01:57:19] Mitch Bolden: [01:57:19] didn't hurt if you were taking one of those chops. No, like where the back of the hand? No fucking out.

[01:57:29] Mitch Bolden: [01:57:29] I can tell you a Kendo stick, the bamboo stick. That's all tied together to the back.

[01:57:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:57:34] like a banshee, but not going to cause damage. Huh? Cause it's or, I mean, it depends on some of the signs of bleeding. Like there was a documentary I it's been years now, but where it was like the rock in mankind and undertaker, it followed like a few of the big names back then. This was probably 2005 or something, you know, on the ropes.

[01:58:00] Mitch Bolden: [01:58:00] chair, with the handcuffs behind his back was yeah, exactly what I'm talking was the, I quit match and his kids were there watching. Yeah. Yeah. And

[01:58:11] And he was just like, oh, you know, whatever, but they're still friends if you watch

[01:58:32] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:58:32] for the love of the

[01:58:43] Like holy shit. As a bigger guy. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen that one, but I haven't, when we're done here, we'll let you have to see it. Cause it is, it is it's

[01:59:00] Like that would a rip me in half. Oh yeah. Like

[01:59:06] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:59:06] see, I was never even into that shit. Like we used to jump off the

[01:59:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:59:10] that sounds like fun. That's something every kid has thought about, but most of them don't seeing

[01:59:18] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:59:18] definitely right outside.

[01:59:20] Mitch Bolden: [01:59:20] let's get ready to rumble. So let's get ready to ramble. Uh, so the, the day that I got divorced, I said, you know, I'm just going to do something for me for once. I'm just going to do it. And I always wanted a belt. So, and Megan, I got to get the case for it so I can display it, , but I've got the attitude era, our era, world championship belt, you know, so I was like, I'm going to 350 bucks.

[01:59:58] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:59:58] allowed to have fun.

[02:00:01] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:00:01] going to do this for me. That's something that we, our generation is, is kind of warming up to the idea that as adults we're allowed to have fun, like you can still play, could still do stuff.

[02:00:17] Mitch Bolden: [02:00:17] best. My, my neighbors brought that out of me. Like he got a good neighbor, uh, shout out, Scotty, uh, man neighbors are make or break. I've been trying to get him to get on, listen to the podcast.

[02:00:46] And like

[02:00:51] Mitch Bolden: [02:00:51] like, he's like, yeah, but like, stand up, sit down, stand up or sit down. So three person

[02:01:04] Mitch Bolden: [02:01:04] got camping trip every year and bring them all and do all that

[02:01:07] Yeah. I've always wanted to because, , I run air boats occasionally. And when you were talking about your Zen state, when you're just on your bike and. Click in it's your meditative time. That's exactly how I feel on an airboat. Like I did that through work. I got to run them a lot in the bay and just got to where I was so comfortable on one that it, it felt like an extension of my body.

[02:01:45] Mitch Bolden: [02:01:45] whatever's rep like relevant in your life, right. At that moment, you've gotten your head and it's just like,

[02:01:53] Just that zone. I love her.

[02:02:00]Jeff Nesbitt: [02:02:00] Spartina was like the big buzz word, we actually need people to be aware that like, Hey, there's still this weed. It's still out there. ,

[02:02:21] Oh, hell yes. I remember that was a fun first and only time I've actually liked oysters is when does your milk? Oh yeah. I mean like, ah, but, uh, that was a really cool program. It was amazing. Yeah. I vividly

[02:02:39] I love them. Both.

[02:02:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:02:48] she gave my mom her first job or Nancy, I did. They're just

[02:03:03] but that's that's that was, you know, I grew up going to John's place and watching him do steamer clams, and we ain't steamer clams all the time. I love them.

[02:03:16] Mitch Bolden: [02:03:16] only food that I've ever, ever gotten shit faced on puke and stoke Anita.

[02:03:23] Mitch Bolden: [02:03:23] love them. So good. So that, you know, I grew up around, is it spread Tyna

[02:03:42] He just retired a year ago or so he calls the Spartina. So I I'm, I've always heard of Spartina. I think most people we'll call it Spartina. And so I honestly don't even hear the difference. Yeah. Yeah.

[02:04:00] And so yeah, the bay

[02:04:22] Like just, I used to do this thing where, when I was in the car or a school bus or anything, I would picture either myself or this other. It was like a more athletic version of me. , that was like running alongside the truck. And he'd like do flips off offenses and shit. I have very vivid imagination as a kid, but I really liked the picture of myself out there on those spar, tiny clones jumping around.

[02:04:54] Mitch Bolden: [02:04:54] there. Well, trust me, I've. Went with my dad. And like I said, grew up around the [02:05:00] steamer reclaim industry. And then when I was in high school, my dad's like, you're gonna get a job this summer.

[02:05:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:05:19] that was good. I got to 81 Buick century when I was 14

[02:05:26] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:05:26] what a starter

[02:05:27] Right. You know, but, uh, I went to work in the oyster beds in south bend their co seafood and, uh, fuck me like picking oysters while we were scattering first, just pick them up by the mud, thrown behind ya. And then I picked after that and Pickens where you make some decent money, especially if you can pick and.

[02:05:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:05:55] very intimidated by that job. I always wanted to do it, but I was like, , on some level I was worried. I [02:06:00] wouldn't be able to keep up.

[02:06:07] Holy shit. Yeah. Fishing too, for me. Yeah. Like I couldn't, I couldn't do like what Hilton and those guys do. I know,

[02:06:20] Mitch Bolden: [02:06:20] sleep. Yeah. I don't want to work that hard.

[02:06:25] I'm glad they're out there doing it, but God, no, I don't want to do that. No,

[02:06:38] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:06:38] I always wanted to do something else. He's just happens to be a very good fish.

[02:06:44] Yeah. , and that's the same thing with, what to do. You're going be, , you can be the low guy in forever, , that's one nice thing about it is that you can go anywhere and do anything. I can go into safety. I can go into sustainability. I can go into, , classification or I can custody, , whatever.

[02:07:01] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:07:01] It's

[02:07:06] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:07:06] I think , we're actually way over we've recorded for two and a half hours winning. I know.

[02:07:20] yeah, no, I,

[02:07:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:07:35] always, you know, people would start to think you're

[02:07:40] It wasn't like, uh, in a hotel.

[02:07:47] Mitch Bolden: [02:07:47] Anyway, like I said, I've seen the shit, so

[02:07:52] Mitch Bolden: [02:07:52] it. Yeah. More than that. Hey, I've, I've seen Mount Rushmore painted on the wall and shit. So

[02:08:00] It is.

[02:08:05] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:08:05] You just rub it on your upper

[02:08:17]Jeff Nesbitt: [02:08:17] Okay. Well Mitch, thank you so much for being here. This has been delightful. That's

[02:08:30] And I said, okay, I was actually kind of nervous about it at first,

[02:08:38] Mitch Bolden: [02:08:38] because when I'm nervous, usually I just write.

[02:08:44] Mitch Bolden: [02:08:44] uh, one last real quick, if I could plug for, be the match, um, you know, I can't say enough.

[02:09:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:09:10] So if you do sign up for, be the match and you get the cheek swab, you're in the database two or three years passed by and you decide, you don't want to, you don't want to donate, you change your mind. What can you still, is it all right to say no, absolutely. Because I don't want people to be like, well, what if I don't want to do it?

[02:09:27] Mitch Bolden: [02:09:27] to do, it's completely anonymous and no one's going to judge you for it.

[02:09:32] Mitch Bolden: [02:09:32] not whatsoever. I mean, I'm going to do it. Uh it's. It is an amazing thing. And you don't, I mean, I can't emphasize enough. I mean, if I didn't have a match, I wouldn't be here.

[02:09:58] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:09:58] that's so cool.

[02:10:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [02:10:07] I think it's amazing. That's a really cool program.

[02:10:19] And, , I know when you hear this, we'll be married probably back from the honeymoon. , but just know that we have the rest of our lives and I probably wouldn't be the person I am right now without you. So

[02:10:37] Mitch Bolden: [02:10:37] teary-eyed dammit. You're so emotional.