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Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that puts the

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Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Speaker 2: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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Dash: Just in case it's all gone.

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Hello, everybody Having

more technical difficulties

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Beck: That's my bad.

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Sorry

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Dash: Well, if like, it seems

like there's one decent internet

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provider near you Who's got the time?

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Let me put my phone on do not disturb.

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I put it on airplane mode.

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It just keeps, I keep getting

notifications I don't know how.

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I would say maybe it's something

to do with it being linked to my

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laptop and the laptop is on the Wi-Fi

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Beck: Right

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Dash: Anywho

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Beck: Do you wanna start

with our show and tell stuff?

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Dash: Yeah, we could

just jump right into it.

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Hell yeah.

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it, did, did it walk out?

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Is that why you said

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that?

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Beck: no, she is still hi- or he.

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Man, I keep getting his gender wrong.

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He feels like a girl to me.

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I don't know why.

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Dash: He, he does kinda look

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like one

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Beck: Yeah, he's hanging out

behind the, the washer and dryer.

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Rue keeps chasing him off.

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Rue ha- seems to have a problem with him.

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She, she's not aggressive.

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She just wants to chase him.

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It's getting better though.

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The cat, uh, my show and tell,

my item is my new cat that I got.

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Uh, let me tell everyone that.

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The name is yet to be decided on.

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Shana likes Gus Gus.

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I like Miles or maybe Jimmy.

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We're still going through it, trying to

figure out what we're gonna call him.

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But yeah, Rue, he's been

able to sleep with us.

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Um, he's using the litter box.

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He's eating fine.

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He's doing all those things.

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We're just still playing the get

to know you game a little bit

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between Rue and the new fella

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Dash: wondered how would go ' cause

Rue is also fairly new, so

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Beck: Yes.

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We got her in April.

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Dash: What does this look

like from her perspective?

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Beck: Yeah.

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Well, I don't know what her

history with cats is, you know?

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I don't know, so … But like

I said, she's let her sleep

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with us, so there's that.

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Let him sleep with us.

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So the- 11, 11 pounds.

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He's a little guy

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Dash: He…

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11 pound, but he's not fully grown yet

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Beck: But no, they said he's a

year to two, uh, one to two years

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Dash: Right.

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That's, cats like cats don't mature

until at least three So he's, probably

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got another couple pounds coming.

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Yeah.

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Beck: Well, living around

here, I can imagine he does.

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We like to eat in this house.

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Rue has gained so much weight that

you can see it in her pictures.

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Like, her face looks different

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Dash: Oh.

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Aww

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Beck: She's just a glutton for…

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She loves food.

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We don't overfeed her.

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We give

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her her little tiny food every night,

but she gets bites of everything

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Dash: Mine act like they're starving

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Beck: Yeah.

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Peter won't eat half the time

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She's real picky about when she'll eat.

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She won't eat in the morning,

she won't eat too late at night.

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If you feed, get her to eat something

like pepperoni or something first,

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it starts her up and then she'll eat.

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But if you just hand her a

plate of food, she won't eat it.

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She's real weird

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Dash: Interesting well, I guess I could do

my show and tell also ' cause I'm wearing

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it, so I don't know if you can see it.

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It's this T-shirt that

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Beck: a blue

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Dash: have worn and I should…

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Yeah.

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Beck: Oh.

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Dash: Can you read it?

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Beck: What's it say?

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I can't read it.

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Dash: It

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Beck: Never ever

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Dash: Never, ever, never shake a baby.

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With the, with one of those

like ribbons on it like the,

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: like for some charity.

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Beck: Where did you get that?

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At Goodwill?

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Dash: Yeah, it was the

Goodwill there in BG.

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This is one of…

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I've told this story about how

I almost died from laughing

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at, uh, Battlefield Earth.

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are two times while I was living

there in Bowling Green that I

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almost died from laughing, and

this shirt was the other one.

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we would go over to that

Goodwill all the time for…

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It was a pretty good, it was

a decent Goodwill, and it, it

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was like, you know, easy to…

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Pretty close by, and it's a

great way to kill some time.

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So we were over there constantly just

goofing around, looking at the stuff.

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That's where I got my copy

of Queerwolf, the VHS copy we

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were over in the, the clothing.

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It was me, Eric, and Sabrina going

through the clothes, and I pulled

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this one out 'cause I liked the color.

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It's a really pretty color of blue.

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And I, I read it, and I, I

blinked 'cause I was like, "What?"

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Why would I do that?

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And it kept getting funnier the longer

I looked at it, because it's not don't

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shake a baby, it's not never shake a baby,

it's never, ever, never shake a baby.

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Beck: That's

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Dash: ever, never

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Beck: that's like saying

gravy is not dishwasher safe.

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Like, no shit.

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Dash: And this was be- it, it, and

it was incredibly silly to me also.

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Not, I don't know if silly's the word.

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It just seemed so out of

nowhere because I didn't know…

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Like, I know not to shake a fucking

baby, but I didn't know that shaken

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baby syndrome is a thing, that

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: And there, and there was

this I don't know what those, those

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groups that a nonprofit, you know, a

charity that tries to educate people

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about the dangers of it and stuff.

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I didn't know all that shit.

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didn't know people needed to

be told not to shake babies.

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Beck: Right

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Dash: it was especially out of nowhere.

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I had no context for why a shirt

would say something like that.

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Like, why does a T-shirt say, " And

it fit me, and I was like,

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"This, I'm buying this thing."

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And I…

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It's one of those things that's like,

that's been almost 15 years ago now, and

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: I'll forget I have it and

then, 'cause I don't wear it out.

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Why would I

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: wear this?

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I should, I guess.

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Maybe people need to know.

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I could

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Beck: It's funny.

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When was the last time your

T-shirt saved a life, huh?

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Dash: But also on the off chance

that somebody finds it as funny

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as I did, I don't wanna be

responsible for that either.

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So I'll forget I have it, and then

I'll, you know, be rearranging or

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something and, or packing up and

moving more likely, and I saw it while

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I was going through look- finding

my winter stuff and things to wear.

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I was like, "Good God, that's right.

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I wanna be buried in this shirt."

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Beck: We had to dig out my long-

my, uh, favorite flannel, uh, this

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week, so it's that time of year again

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Dash: Yehaw

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Beck: How cold is it there?

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Dash: It, it's not so bad today actually.

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It's like, it's in the 60s,

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Beck: Yeah

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Dash: not too cold inside I had to order

my stuff to put the, that plastic you

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put over the windows to keep the heat in

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Beck: Yeah.

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Dash: Gonna have to do that this week

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Beck: I've done that many a time

It's exactly 70 here, so it got to 70

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here today I'm not ready for the cold

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Dash: No, there's something especially

diabolical about the cold n- uh,

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now that, like, there's something

wrong with, like, my nerves.

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The-- my feet feel like j- an elephant

is standing on them the s- as soon

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as they get slightly cold, and that's

how I spent all last winter, and it--

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when it got cold it, like, this week,

uh, my feet started to hurt again, and

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I was like, "Oh, God, that's right."

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all last winter I longed for

death because of how my feet felt.

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I can't do it again.

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Beck: Aw.

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Did you get, like, warmer socks?

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Dash: Socks make it worse

'cause they compress.

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They're not cold.

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My feet aren't actually cold.

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They just feel cold because

the nerves are stupid.

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Like, the, my nerves are, are broken.

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So they, I have, you know, often had…

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I don't have, I have, uh, what is it?

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Hypotension, like low blood pressure.

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So it's easy for my hands and feet

to get cold, but I can warm them up

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if I raise my blood pressure somehow.

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this is different.

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Like, I had I would have the

heated blanket over them,

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a heating pad under them.

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do shit.

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It's the most

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Beck: Wow

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Dash: feeling I, and I didn't

even realize that it…

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I thought, I was like, "Oh my God,

I'm dying because my, there's no

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circulation going to my feet."

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And then I saw the neurologist, and he was

like, "Hey, you've just got neuropathy."

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Great And I think that's why they

put me on, like, such a high dose of

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metformin ' Cause they thought, I think

they just assumed that it was diabetic

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neuropathy, like peripheral neuropathy

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: So they like jacked up my

metformin dose and then I felt

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like shit because I'm not diabetic.

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Like I was for a minute there and

then it was because of something else.

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I bet now though my chart

forever is gonna say diabetic.

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Like they had to take me off the metformin

because my blood sugar was too low.

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I kept passing

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Beck: Yehaw

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How much did they put you on?

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Dash: I was on 1,000 milligrams a

day, which I know is not as high

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as you can go, but it's too high

for somebody who's not diabetic.

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Beck: Yehaw.

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Yehaw So those were my

two news pieces this week.

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I got my cat and the transgender

kid coming out to me.

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That's pretty much all

that happened in my week

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Dash: I actually had I c- I mean, I get…

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All the weeks are kind of the

same right now because it's the

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semester, so it's hard to be like,

"Okay, what was different this time

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around, and why does that matter?"

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But, uh, you know, like, class was, was

better than it had been the first month.

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My big news is not really news at all.

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It kind of is, and it

just happened recently.

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I know that I already told the story

of watching This, this movie that I've

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been really excited about, Teenage

Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, Miasma,

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however you wanna pronounce it.

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If you're Gillian Anderson's

character, you say miasma in it.

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That's how she pronounces it.

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She's, she's got a a really nondescript

Southern accent That's, it works,

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but it's not a real Southern accent.

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Uh, but it, it works for her character

and it's actually kinda cute.

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But anyway I watched it again last night.

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I don't know if I wanna admit this.

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There's this…

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So it's, it's a it's

about the slasher genre.

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It is, but it's also about academics

and the way that we insist on

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squeezing the fun and the life out

of the, the things that we analyze.

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And there's sort of like these high

minded academic readings of lowbrow texts

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are missing the point a lot of times.

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So that's kinda what it's about.

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but it's also about, The slasher

genre and how, uh, sexual it

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is even when nobody's fucking.

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It's just that's what murder is

sexual, as Kristeva pointed out.

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But everybody, all the, all the big

characters in the slasher genre have

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gotten their redemption arcs, have

gotten their prequels, have gotten

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their thing that lets us know if, that

if they're not, not, like, sympathetic,

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at least why they are the way they are.

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some more successful than others.

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there's a kind of slasher that

hasn't, and it's, the big one is, uh,

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Sleepaway Camp, and nobody wants to

touch it because it's transphobic.

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This Sleepaway Camp in particular,

is, it's, uh, not the only one

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of its kind, but It's about a kid

who, uh, uh, who is a slasher and

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they're a secret transgender woman.

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This is like they're secretly a boy

and that's part of their monstrosity.

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like, there's a lot of versions of this.

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That one is never going to

get its sympathetic retread.

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Well, actually it literally is now,

probab- I think because of movies

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and, and filmmakers like Jane

Schoenbrun who made Camp Miasma.

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We're getting a transgender-helmed project

that is a reboot of Sleepaway Camp.

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So I never thought I'd see it.

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I'm really excited for that.

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Anyway, the, the character in,

uh, Camp Miasma is named Little

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Death, which is funny because

that's a, the euphemism for orgasm.

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There's this joke in, in the film

that this filmmaker played by Hannah

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Einbinder that she made a horror movie

that was a retelling of Psycho from

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the perspective of the shower curtain.

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and I can't tell if she actually did that.

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I think she actually did do that, like,

that in the, in the story we're supposed

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to believe that she did make that movie.

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but I was r- I was realizing when

I was watching it again last night

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that this is retelling the, monstrous

transgender slasher story the perspective

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of the orgasm Because murder is,

sexual, is, like, the penetrative act.

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Beck: Right.

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Dash: that's a, that's a male,

that's a cis male experience.

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That's the, the male gaze of

slasher is the penetration.

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And so this is sort of, it's

a feminist reframing as well.

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And I'm doing exactly what the movie is

making fun of academics for doing, but

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I, I will not be stopped but the char-

the murderer's name is Little Death.

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That's a euphemism for orgasm.

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Petite Mort,

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Beck: I didn't know that

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Dash: Yeah, that's what the French call…

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It's a French euphemism for an orgasm.

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And I don't know its

etymology, I just know that.

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So the- anyway, he- and he was, he was

drowned like Jason, but he was targeted

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because he was, I think, non-binary.

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They use really transphobic language

which ha- which has a utility in

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this moment because they don't

have to make it about his identity.

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a, it's a really old…

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They're, like, uh, the original is the

sleepaway camp, so it's from the, the late

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'70s, so they show the scene where they're

like, "Yeah, he was a hermaphrodite," you

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know, using language we don't use anymore.

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And they

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did that so that they didn't have to

get into the kid's identity actually

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was, 'cause it's not really the point.

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So they murder him.

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They drown him in the lake because

he's so disgusting to them.

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And he, when he comes back as, as

Little Death, as the, the slasher

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monster, the scene is he just comes

through and mows them all down

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with some sort of spear he has.

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and the song they chose to play was

Long December by The Counting Crows

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They, they did that thing where they

fixed the camera like a, a GoPro-style

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camera looking at his face, so we're

just looking straight down his face

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as he comes through and s- just slices

them all to bits, it's the catharsis of

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this moment as he murders these kids.

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I, like, cried it because I just was so

happy for him that he got to kill them.

316

I was like, "God, this

is what's wrong with us."

317

Like Or maybe it's not.

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Maybe the people who are taking the fun,

pe- the academics who are, who are beating

319

queer theory dead fucking horses over, you

know, uh, reclaiming whatever, they're not

320

crying about murder scenes in slashers.

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Maybe they, maybe they don't g- get to

have that experience It was weird though.

322

And as soon as it happened, I

was like, "I don't know if I'm

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gonna admit that that happened."

324

Beck: That's a really interesting

take on the, the horror genre.

325

I've never thought of it that way

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Dash: That it's sexual or that it's queer?

327

Beck: Yeah.

328

Both

329

Dash: Yeah.

330

there's a, there's the scholars

who write about it, I think…

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So Barbara Creed wrote the book, I

think it's called Monstrous-Feminine.

332

And she examines, like she, she ta- she

does like feminist readings of women on,

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in, on screen in horror specifically.

334

There's quite a few queer theorists.

335

Harry Benshoff wrote a book called

Monsters in the Closet that's just

336

about like how queer monsters are.

337

Like monsters are their base level,

at their foundation queer But the

338

slasher, yeah, It's not, I mean,

it's, I guess you could say it's not

339

always queer, but it is always male

340

Are there any female slashers?

341

Beck: That is what I was gonna

say, that'd be a fun twist on it

342

Dash: Well, Little Death is non-binary

and also played by a non-binary

343

actor who was in I Saw the TV Glow

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Beck: I haven't seen that yet, but I did

see it was on Tubi or one of those apps

345

Dash: Mubi, I think Schoenbrun has a deal

with Mubi because Teenage Sex and Death

346

was actually produced by Mubi, it's,

that's where it's going to streaming.

347

Now, it may already be there Listeners,

let us know if you've seen Teenage

348

Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.

349

I've Googled this so many times

It's probably gonna be next

350

month that it goes to streaming.

351

Let's see Yep, October 2nd.

352

So, oh, next, this coming Friday

353

Beck: Nice

354

Dash: I don't know anything about Mubi,

but if it's a free with ads service, then

355

thank you for you do I mean, I don't know.

356

I think, I think…

357

I recommend it.

358

It does have…

359

First of all, it's weird.

360

It's very weird, and there's a

couple of the scenes where Little

361

Death is slaughtering people, like,

they're, they're funny, but they,

362

you know, they are, it's CGI gore.

363

It's, although it

doesn't look real at all.

364

It looks like Kool-Aid

shooting up into the sky.

365

Beck: That's a fun visual.

366

Oh, yeah

367

Dash: Speaking of horror movies though

We, uh, we s- just a minute ago actually

368

were texting about like, you know,

whether we should do a, a h- a H-

369

what, Halloween movie again this year.

370

last year we did and I, you know,

this is not to say whether we should

371

like do a live or anything like that.

372

We can if we wanna get in

dumb Halloween costumes.

373

It, uh, you know, my, I'm, I

pitched Night of the Living Dead.

374

Anybody can stream Night of the

Living Dead whenever they feel like

375

it because it's in the public domain.

376

I streamed it on a

university YouTube page.

377

Like, it's totally…

378

Nobody can copyright strike you

379

Beck: I've never seen it before

380

Dash: Yehaw.

381

Beck: What year is it?

382

Dash: 68

383

Beck: Got ya

384

Dash: Ve- which is very important too.

385

I mean, I guess, I wouldn't wanna

do this, like, as much while we were

386

on it, but is culturally significant

because of the story it was telling,

387

what influenced the story, who the

lead actor was, specifically what

388

race he was, and the year it came out.

389

Like, the…

390

It was a, a kind of a, uh, just

a really wacky confluence of

391

what was going on in the US.

392

So they were filming in the summer

of '67, which was the race riots.

393

A lot of people think, when they

think about civil rights movement

394

of the '60s specifically for Black

Americans, they think of the South.

395

They think of Martin Luther King Jr.

396

They think of Selma.

397

They think of Jim Crow I, I think

there's a lot of reasons for that.

398

But, you know, Black people elsewhere in

the country, they were not better off.

399

The y- yes, they lived under

different circumstances than Jim Crow.

400

Jim Crow was hyper-specific.

401

But everything else about their, their

civil rights in the country was same

402

as Black folks living in the South.

403

So they the summer '67 race

riots were in the Midwest and

404

kind of in the flyover states.

405

And, and we don't even really

talk about them anymore.

406

We don't…

407

Th- tho- I don't remember ever being

taught about all of those actions,

408

all of the people who died, in the

same way that I wasn't, I wasn't

409

taught about the Philly bombing.

410

Were you?

411

Beck: Oh.

412

I don't know what that is

413

Dash: I believe it was the CI- oh, no.

414

Whichever one operates domestically.

415

US

416

Beck: The FBI.

417

The CIA can't

418

Dash: agency Black

neighborhood Philadelphia.

419

Longest Google.

420

You just have to do that now.

421

Oh, police department.

422

Okay.

423

It's be- oh, okay, so the police

department dropped federal munitions.

424

They had C4 and military grade

on a building West Philadelphia

425

Beck: Forward and raised.

426

Sorry

427

Dash: Suspected of having, it did, I

think the Black Panthers, uh, there was

428

a large Black Panther presence there.

429

Let's see.

430

Oh, there's a Wikipedia page.

431

For 90 minutes Move members.

432

So the name of this group that they were

Black Liberation Movement called M-O-V-E.

433

I don't know what it stands

for yet because I don't wanna

434

read this whole article.

435

They were, don't, I don't know why.

436

I, I don't know, again, I wasn't

taught this, but the Philadelphia

437

Police Department bombed this building

438

Beck: We don't talk enough about

how the cops are the villains in

439

many stories in American history

440

Dash: enough.

441

Oh, shit.

442

here it is.

443

For 90 minutes, the Philadelphia Police

Department allowed the resulting fire

444

to burn out of control, destroying

61 previously evacuated neighboring

445

houses over two city blocks, leaving

250 people homeless Six adults, five

446

children were killed in the attacks

447

Beck: That's terrible

448

Dash: Right.

449

Beck: For what reason?

450

Dash: I, I don't know.

451

There were complaints

from neighbors about…

452

They, it was like social complaints,

so they didn't like that they,

453

they said that their trash was not

getting taken out, they were loud.

454

Like, because they were a political

group, they using a bullhorn to, have

455

chants and things There's a note here.

456

I don't know what this source is.

457

"The bullhorn was broken and inoperable

for the three weeks prior to the bombing

458

So then the police went and obtained

arrest warrants for four of the occupants

459

with crimes including contempt of court,

oh, the humanity parole violation,

460

illegal possession of firearms.

461

Okay, those are…

462

You bombed them over those

463

Beck: You murdered 11 souls for that Wow

464

Dash: Yeah, I mean, there was

a standoff when it went down.

465

There's the Wikipedia article is

actually kind of short, but a little

466

too long for me to read on air here.

467

But I guess the point I was getting at is,

uh, there's so many, like, regionalities

468

that are left out of the, the civil

rights narrative And this was in the

469

'80s, so this was not even from the '60s.

470

Like this shit, I was

alive when this happened.

471

You were alive.

472

And so D- uh, Night of the Living Dead

was shot during summer of intense action

473

in the Midwest for, let me see if I

can They were all over the country.

474

Okay So 1967 is called the Long Hot

Summer, refers to an outbreak of

475

widespread racial unrest among major

American cities during the summer of '67.

476

Over 150 race riots erupted fueled by

specifically by grievances associated

477

with police brutality, engineered

poverty, racial inequality So they

478

had, there was Detroit Newark, Harlem,

the Watts Riots, those were '65

479

Beck: We talk about those

in my ethnic studies class

480

Dash: Yeah.

481

So this, while they were filming Night

of the Living Dead during the long,

482

hot summer of '67, and he just happened

to choose a Black man to play the

483

protagonist of this story And then a

month after the movie was released, uh,

484

King was assassinated And then Romero

accidentally didn't copyright the movie.

485

He changed the title at the last,

or swapped out the title card at the

486

last minute and forgot to watermark

it and move the copyright over.

487

For whatever reason, that invalidated

the entire copyright, so it's been in

488

the public domain since it came out

489

Beck: Oh, wow

490

Dash: So it ha- ha- again, like,

it was this perfect storm of…

491

It was, it was always destined to be

a cultural phenomenon, or at least

492

a really important cultural text

493

Beck: Right?

494

Dash: A- and it's good.

495

It's not a bad movie at all

496

Beck: Well, I look forward to watching it

497

Dash: Woohoo.

498

Beck: Rue, knock it off, toots

499

Dash: Good

500

Beck: Her name is like

the last thing I call her

501

Kitty Kitty has not come back out yet.

502

I hope he does

503

Dash: Have you tried

the, the treats trick?

504

Beck: Yes, he very, very much

likes the Incredibles or whatever,

505

whatever they're called, the crunchy

with the m- the meaty inside.

506

Perf- perfect sh- perfect, perfect,

what's … I forget what they're called.

507

Temptations, that's what they're called.

508

They're crunchy on the outside and

they have f- wet stuff on the inside.

509

We got the chicken and catnip

ones, and, like, he'll about

510

take your finger off for those.

511

We also got him some of those

lickable treats, the, the goo in

512

the tube, but we haven't gotten

to give him one of those yet, so

513

Dash: There's a bit of a learning

curve to those for most cats.

514

For all, mine anyway there was.

515

And may- it also was maybe the l-

a learning curve for me because

516

you have to, like, squeeze it at a

certain rate or it, like, goes all

517

over their face or drips on the floor

518

Beck: Maybe I'll just

put it on top of his food

519

Dash: Yeah, I've just

squirted it into a bowl before

520

Beck: He's doing great with the litter box

521

Dash: It comes so naturally to them

522

Beck: Yeah

523

Dash: It really is great design

other than the fact that it stinks

524

Beck: Are you gonna be a good girl?

525

No.

526

Rue says no, she's not

gonna be a good girl

527

Dash: today

528

Beck: Yeah.

529

Why must I chase the cat?

530

Dash: How did…

531

So the, season ended, didn't it?

532

The Women's Professional

533

Beck: Baseball?

534

Dash: Mm-hmm

535

Beck: It did.

536

The championship was, was last Tuesday.

537

It was a best of five, and it came

down to the game five to see who

538

would win, and the Los Angeles Queens

were the ones that came out on top.

539

I was rooting for the f- uh,

San Francisco Firebelles.

540

It was a good game.

541

It was a very good game.

542

Uh, but the LA Queens came out on top.

543

They were seeded number two,

544

Dash: Who are

545

all the teams?

546

Beck: There are, there's, uh,

the San Francisco Firebelles, the

547

Los Angeles Queens, the New York

Heights, and the Boston Hunters

548

Dash: Oh, so there's,

there's only five of them

549

Beck: 4

550

Dash: It's, is that sort of normal?

551

Did, did men's,

552

Beck: yeah, when they start like

that, a lot of leagues start this way.

553

And the fact that they, they played

in one stadium in one town they

554

s- they played in Springfield,

Illinois at Robin Roberts Stadium.

555

That way they didn't have the travel

costs and, and all that kind of stuff.

556

And they haven't said whether they're

gonna play in their cities next year or

557

if they're gonna do Springfield again.

558

But in Springfield made it

easy for everybody to catch,

559

you know, all the games

560

Dash: Yehaw You're gonna have

to get a season pass they have

561

Beck: I would love that.

562

I would absolutely love that.

563

But it's like a six-hour drive from here

564

Dash: that's my commute

565

Beck: Yeah.

566

But what would we do with the dogs?

567

Dash: Get a babysitter.

568

Board them.

569

That's my question every time

570

I wanna visit somebody though.

571

what am I gonna do with the cats?

572

Beck: Yeah.

573

Stupid responsibilities

574

Dash: I did think about maybe taking

us all camping close by just seeing

575

how they like it for my birthday.

576

Cause what else am I gonna do?

577

Beck: Stop.

578

Peeta.

579

Shana just left, so they get

emotional when somebody leaves

580

Peta's behavior has really

ratcheted up in the last few months.

581

We have an appointment next week

to take her to get on, get her on

582

a daily medicine, so maybe that'll

calm her down a little bit, 'cause

583

she's just come out of pocket, man.

584

She … You can't have her in a car.

585

She barks at everything.

586

She bit Shannon in the face the

other day just for touching her foot.

587

Like, not hard 'cause she

doesn't have a lot of teeth

588

left, but she tried it, you know?

589

Dash: is, is there like doggy dementia?

590

Beck: There is.

591

There is.

592

I think she's just got arthritis

really bad in her knees and

593

stuff, and I think she's in pain.

594

So maybe we can do something about that.

595

I don't know.

596

But she has gotten so mean

in the last couple of months,

597

Dash: Yehaw,

598

Beck: and so reactive

599

Dash: Well, I mean, she's got a

limited range of communication tools

600

Beck: Yeah.

601

Plus her eyes are getting real cloudy too.

602

She's at least 13.

603

We've had her for 13 years, so

604

Dash: Yeah, and then she was

not a baby when you got her

605

Beck: No, we think she was about

six months old when we got her

606

'cause she wasn't full grown yet.

607

But she could have been, you

know, even older than that.

608

We don't know.

609

We, it was, it was June when we found

her, and I figured maybe she was

610

somebody's Christmas baby, 'cause a lot

of people do that with designer dogs.

611

They give them for Christmas

presents which would put her

612

born around Thanksgiving of 2013.

613

So

614

Dash: Nessa had to surrender

their dog that they've had for,

615

I don't know how long it's been.

616

It's maybe a year.

617

It's not been like a long, long time,

but long enough that the problem

618

should have been addressed by now.

619

Similar to Pita, like he was

really anxious and really reactive

620

and had snapped at people, and

he was not a cute little dog.

621

He was a proper sized dog, and you

cannot have a, a dog-sized dog that

622

snaps at the HVAC man when he comes in.

623

Beck: Yeah.

624

Yeah.

625

'Cause people expect with a

chihuahua, you know, 'cause that's

626

their, that's their reputation.

627

But that wasn't Pita.

628

She was always…

629

We could take her places.

630

W- like, we used to make the car

j- journey from, from here down

631

home, and it was a five-hour drive

every time, and she had no problem.

632

Now she's barking at trucks that are

driving next to us and, you know,

633

and mo- h- heaven forbid somebody

on a motorcycle or a bicycle go by.

634

Man, or if she's on campus and

one of those food delivery robots.

635

She hates a food delivery robot

with every little ounce of her being

636

Dash: I've never, I've never

seen one in person before.

637

Beck: Oh, they're cute

638

Dash: they exist

639

Beck: They, uh, changed companies that

have them on, on the campus, uh, on the

640

BG campus, and now they're a little bit

bigger and they have screens for faces

641

and they make heart eyes and stuff.

642

They're a little less

little buddy looking.

643

Like, I think they've taken some of

the humanization out of it, you know?

644

It used to be, like, the littler

ones, I don't know, you just felt

645

bad for them and you'd be like,

"Go, little buddy, go," you know?

646

Dash: Yeah

647

Beck: I helped more than one over a curb

648

Dash: Oh, every- everybody has

their own little, version of them,

649

all these different companies

650

Beck: Yehaw

651

Dash: Doordashes looks really unhinged

652

Beck: We ordered DoorDash last night

653

Vichina de Carlos

654

Dash: I uninstalled Instacart, DoorDash,

Uber, Lyft, all the convenience apps.

655

What, those are like

the gig apps, you know?

656

Like, they're fucking useless out here.

657

No need to let them be

taking up room on my phone

658

Beck: Yeah

659

Dash: I've been at houses though

in this town that my new job is in

660

Which feels That tends to snowball.

661

You know how like when you're

looking at cars, oh yeah, you,

662

you're gonna buy a car But I do

have to get rid of this one somehow.

663

How do I convince somebody to

buy this piece of shit off of me?

664

Beck: I heard the song Royals by

Lorde earlier today, and it's been

665

stuck in my head all afternoon.

666

Dash: That's a good

667

Beck: I'm not a big fan of that.

668

I don't know.

669

I'm not a big fan of it, but it's

stuck in my head forever now.

670

At least it's not Goodbye Earl

671

Dash: I've got a playlist

I've been listening to.

672

I, I like to make Spotify

playlists on stupid themes.

673

So I've got two I've been going

back and forth with right now.

674

One of them is like a proto-art pop

so it's like people that, people that

675

you could imagine were playing in Lady

Gaga's head when she wrote Artpop.

676

And so it's like Tori Amos,

PJR- PJ Harvey, and Kate

677

Bush, and people like that.

678

And then I have another one is

90s lesbian flannel starter pack

679

Beck: Yehaw

680

I am not a Tori Amos or, or a

Kate Bush fan, like even at all.

681

My ex-girlfriend was big into

both of those, and I heard enough

682

of that for the rest of my life

683

Dash: Yeah,

684

Beck: Maybe it was just the

one she liked, I don't know.

685

But it's just not for me.

686

I need more than a white

girl crying over a piano

687

Dash: I mean, it's fair to call Tori Amos

that, I guess, even though I love her,

688

but Kate Bush is much more than that.

689

She's fucking crazy.

690

But a lot of Bjork and a lot

of um, who else is on here?

691

Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney

A lot of Velvet Underground.

692

Nico, I was listening to Nico while

I was on the treadmill last night,

693

and that was a weird mix I let the

students choose to analyze 'cause I

694

just wanted to see kind of how they

would do with something I didn't assign

695

them, and I am certain I'm gonna be

getting so many country songs about God.

696

Beck: Yehaw

697

Dash: It's all they care about here.

698

I've already seen several of them,

like, in the discussion board.

699

I'm like, God.

700

Which is fair.

701

I let you choose, and I knew that it was

a thing when I chose it, but now I'm like,

702

"I don't wanna listen to all these songs."

703

Beck: Yeah.

704

When I would taught we had a song,

uh, lyric, unpacking assignment,

705

and one girl, I didn't think, you

know, I didn't know all the songs.

706

I had them tell me what they were doing.

707

But, uh, the, I think it's REO

Speedwagon, "When the lights go

708

down in the city," that song.

709

That only has, like, five words

in the entire freaking song,

710

and her paper was just like

711

Dash: It's about dusk.

712

It's like doing a lyrical

analysis of I Can't Get No

713

Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones.

714

Actually, there might be a

little more in that song than…

715

Beck: Yehaw

716

Dash: Well, it's something I told them,

'cause I was like, " There's more to…

717

If you choose a song or a poem or

whatever, if you choose a song,

718

there's more to it than the lyrics."

719

And I told them they had to notice

five things, and then describe

720

what it, what each of them was.

721

Like, is it a device?

722

Is it a metaphor?

723

Are you talking about the way

the guitar sounds, like d-

724

the distortion on the guitar?

725

So, like, I s- like you can

literally notice anything about

726

whatever it is you choose.

727

The point is to describe it so that a

reader would understand it, and then

728

make an interpretive claim about it.

729

So tell me why the author, the singer, the

songwriter the artist if you chose like a

730

painting or something, why did they do it?

731

and so I said, like, "All

five of your things can't be

732

just what the song's about.

733

I

734

Beck: Right?

735

Dash: you to tell me this song is

about how Jesus died for your sins."

736

' Cause I know that's what it's

about, because that's what the

737

lyrics say over and over again.

738

In fact, that's what the chorus says.

739

That's the, the chorus is Jesus died for

my sins and I can't stop thinking about it

740

Beck: One of the craziest papers that

I got when I was teaching English the

741

first assignment of the semester is

to pick a word and, uh, trace down

742

its origin and talk about where it

came from and that kind of thing.

743

It's just a descriptive writing.

744

And so I told them they could

choose any word they wanted, right?

745

And they were like, "So we can use shit?"

746

And I was like, "Absolutely.

747

That has a long history," you know?

748

And so they, one guy decided to do

the word fuck, which would, could

749

have been a good paper, 'cause

there's a lot to say about that word.

750

But he made it basically a joke,

and in his paper, you might wanna

751

bleep this he used the example

sentence, "Fuck me harder, daddy."

752

I gave him a zero and made

him rewrite the entire paper

753

because that was not okay by me.

754

They, he tried it.

755

He absolutely tried it

756

Dash: And I, I warned mine.

757

I was like, "I don't care if

your song has cussing in it.

758

I, I don't care what genre it is."

759

I said, "Here's the things you need to

list," 'cause it's a discussion board,

760

other people are gonna be reading it.

761

I said, "If it's got violent

activity in it, you put a content

762

warning about that on there.

763

If it has sexual like, uh, acts in it, in

that you'd put a content warning on that.

764

You know, if it has a lot of cussing

and explicit language, you, you just

765

tell us so that we don't listen to

the song and be like, 'Oh my God,

766

I wish I'd never heard that.'"

767

But…

768

And I said, "But also, you can't write a

pap- like, y- your analysis can't be, 'I

769

noticed you said the word fuck here.'"

770

That's not what's notable about this.

771

So, and, and hopefully they don't try

it, but if they do, it's like, "Well,

772

that is not what I told you to do."

773

And I love laughing.

774

If you can, if you can say something

stupid and make me laugh, that's cool.

775

But you also still need to make a good

faith attempt at the r- at the assignment.

776

Oh, dude, I had one.

777

for my 102 which is, like,

the more research one, I

778

didn't really pick a textbook.

779

I'm, I'm just sort of giving them readings

and giving them, like, resources and,

780

and guidance on evaluating sources and

how to, how to use the database and…

781

Like, at c- at a community college,

it's, uh, what kind of projects they

782

need to be able, be prepared to do in

the next classes they go to are a little

783

bit different than at a four year.

784

But so there's some

really interesting things.

785

You know, this one kid's

like, "I'm gonna…

786

My research proposal is what happens

when you feed a cow like, this particular

787

kind of corn over this kind of wheat?"

788

And I was like, "Okay, whatever.

789

I don't know that.

790

That's fine."

791

' Cause they're

792

Beck: Right?

793

Dash: lot of them are ag majors.

794

So, and I didn't put any

restrictions on it, and if it

795

sounds like research, I approved it.

796

I don't give a fuck.

797

But this one girl I read it this week.

798

There were two of them that

really stood out to me.

799

One was, "My research paper

is sourdough starters."

800

and at first I said, "Okay, cool.

801

I mean, what about them?"

802

then she was like, but then she went on

and she's like, "My, my research questions

803

are why do so many people get them wrong?"

804

I was like, "That is not

805

Why are s- why are so many people

bad at making sourdough bread?

806

It's not a research project.

807

A- and I'm like, I, I'm picturing her.

808

I'm like, "You are…

809

I know exactly who you are."

810

Like, you're a trad wife.

811

Like, there's a lot of that around here

too, which is probably what, where the

812

other one came from as well, because her

research project was why babies are good

813

Beck: Uh

814

Dash: As opposed to…

815

'Cause I was like, first

of all, that's an argument.

816

That's not a research project,

and I specifically said, "Research

817

something you don't already, haven't

already made your mind up about."

818

I think she wanted to talk about abortion,

but she didn't wanna talk about abortion,

819

also was kind of talking about people.

820

I think she's a Quiverfull.

821

You know this Quiverfull?

822

Beck: Oh, yes, I do.

823

I know one

824

' Dash: Cause she was like, for

ins- for example, my, I have 11

825

siblings, and I was like, "What?"

826

And then she was like, "Everybody

wants to say that having too

827

many babies is bad, but…"

828

And I was like, "Where are we going?

829

How did we get here?"

830

And she's like, "But they just

don't know the science on it."

831

And I was like, "What?

832

What science is

833

Beck: what science?

834

Dash: And then, like, this, the, uh, the

part, the proposal of course was supposed

835

to have a working bibliography in it.

836

There was no…

837

And I, so I wrote on it.

838

I was like, "You mentioned

science multiple times.

839

is it?

840

There's no sources here."

841

uh, so I, I put that on there, and

then she emailed me, and sh- 'cause she

842

didn't get a very good grade, you know?

843

She was like, "I, I read your feedback.

844

There was one source I found last

year when I was in high school, but

845

I, I, I found it through this, uh,

website called JSTOR, and I don't

846

know, you know, how to get…"

847

I was like, "We have,

we have JSTOR, honey.

848

Also, you're gonna need more than one."

849

So I'm looking forward to reading

that a little bit more than analysis

850

of how Jesus died for our sins.

851

It's, you

852

Beck: Yehaw

853

Dash: fairly innocuous if a student wants

to analyze a song about their religion,

854

whatever I open the door to that.

855

It's, it's, it fits the assignment.

856

But if I say research project, give you

many multiple of examples of what that

857

looks like, what it doesn't look like, and

what I need to give you a passing grade

858

on it, and you just shit out some diatribe

about how everybody needs to be having

859

more babies, and I know that it's that

great replacement bullshit, you know that?

860

Beck: Yeah.

861

Yeah.

862

Dash: I know that's what it

863

Beck: The racist, yeah, racist bullshit.

864

Yep

865

Dash: for folks are, even if they

are not, like, outright that, they're

866

all under the umbrella of that.

867

Like, all of their

868

Beck: Yep.

869

Dash: come from that

vision forum creepy shit

870

Beck: Yeah, the girl I know I went to high

school with and played ball with growing

871

up and she married a guy that we went

to high school with too, and they have,

872

like, nine kids now, and she doesn't work.

873

She's basically home and barefoot

and pregnant all the time.

874

Though, as she approaches 50,

I'm assuming the pregnancies

875

have stopped, I would hope.

876

I had to unfriend her a long

time ago 'cause I just could

877

not say shit, you know?

878

So she had to go.

879

If, if I had everybody back who I

have deleted off Facebook, I would

880

probably have, like, 1,000 friends.

881

As it is, I have, like, 400.

882

I, I am quick to unfriend people

883

Dash: I mean, at our age, why not?

884

Why am

885

Beck: Yehaw

886

Dash: I'm not gonna give you any

more second chances or any more

887

Beck: Yeah.

888

Dash: I guess

889

Beck: She went off this girl that we're

talking about back when I was doing

890

my undergrad, I would just talk about

different things that we were doing

891

in class or papers that I was writing.

892

And for a speech class, we had to

pick somebody of importance and give a

893

speech about them, so I picked Oprah.

894

Of all people, I picked Oprah to do it on.

895

And she went off on a diatribe

about how Oprah was the devil

896

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

897

And another time, I was talking about

taking a geology class, and she told

898

me to ask my teacher why I didn't, why

there was no complete geological record

899

on the Earth, and I Googled that, and

that was some conspiracy theory bullshit.

900

Like,

901

Dash: Oh yeah

902

Beck: she, she had two of them.

903

Yeah, so that was enough of Olivia for me

904

Dash: the young earth theory or whatever.

905

Like, a-

906

Beck: Yehaw

907

Dash: a- and what's crazy

about that is that, like, why

908

do you need that to be true?

909

nothing you say is gonna convince me that

your fantasy that you live in is true.

910

So if it's that, then

just, you can just quit.

911

Like, you can't convince me

to s- to join your religion.

912

Or is it that you want to feel less, you

wanna look less crazy and stupid to us?

913

'Cause that's not gonna do that, right?

914

Like, it's, it's, it's not the

fact There's plenty else going on.

915

Or are you trying to convince yourself?

916

Beck: Good question

917

Dash: up sources, that's what I think.

918

I'm like, "This is for you to

convince yourself, isn't it?"

919

Beck: Yeah.

920

Have you ever been involuntarily

roped into somebody's religion before?

921

Dash: How deeply?

922

I don't

923

think

924

Beck: I was thinking

925

Dash: wanna

926

Beck: was a ti- uh, w- when I lived in

Huntington, West Virginia, when I first

927

moved there one of my first, my very

first job there was, uh, with Autism

928

Services Center, working with individuals

in the community with developmental

929

delays and that kind of stuff.

930

And one young lady that I worked with,

her name was Brenda, she lived out in the

931

community, and she wanted to go to church.

932

And I was like, "Uh, I

don't know about that."

933

But then I was like, "Okay,

it's extra money, whatever.

934

I'll take her."

935

And so I took her, and it was

a non-denominational church.

936

And the second time that I took her, like,

at the very end of the service, like, 10

937

people crowded around me and anointed my

forehead with oil and prayed around me.

938

And it was like, what the

fuck is happening here?

939

You know?

940

It was just all, like, instant,

and they were praying over me and

941

anointing me, and it was so weird.

942

I refused to ever take her back.

943

I was like, "Nope, I

ain't doing that again."

944

I will be hooking for Jesus

945

Dash: I don't think i- in that, not

in like a literally religious setting.

946

One time though Alcoholics

Anonymous, is, is a religion.

947

It's a cult.

948

And I went with a friend of mine.

949

He was court mandated to go.

950

is actually I think the only court

mandated religion in the US anyway.

951

So he had gotten like two DUIs, and

so he was, he was, uh, required to go.

952

A- and he did have a

problem, and he was…

953

He, he wanted help.

954

So had gone up to visit him.

955

He lived, uh, up in Louisville, and I was

like, "Oh, yeah, sure, I'll go with you."

956

He's like, "I have to go

and get my paper signed."

957

And I was like, "Okay."

958

So I'm sitting in AA with him, and

you have to introduce yourself.

959

And I, I said, "What should I say?"

960

I, I said something like, "Should

I just say that I'm just, I'm just

961

visiting or something like that?"

962

And he said, "No, because they'll

think that you're lying and you're not

963

telling the truth about whether you're

an alcoholic or not, so they will

964

like intervention you force you to say

that you're an alcoholic if you try

965

not to say that you're an alcoholic."

966

And I was like, "Okay.

967

What do I say then?"

968

And he goes, "You have to say

like you're here to support me."

969

And he was like, "Even then

they might not believe that…

970

They're, they're gonna try to

convince you you're an alcoholic

971

or, you know, no matter what."

972

they sure did.

973

And I was like, "It is…

974

Just 'cause y'all happen to be right.

975

Like, this is unrelated."

976

no, I don't want to join

977

Beck: When I was a kid, one time I had

to buy my grandma a present, and I was at

978

the hospital gift shop for whatever reason

when I purchased it, and I got her a

979

little pillow that had the, the AA prayer.

980

Do you know what I'm talking about?

981

"God, grant me the serenity."

982

I had no idea, right?

983

I just thought it was

a pretty little saying.

984

And I gave it to my grandma, and

she was like, "What is this?"

985

' Cause she was a teetotaler, like

Pentecostal mamaw, like never

986

wore pants in her life, you know.

987

I don't think I ever knew my

grandma having alcohol ever, ever.

988

Not on Virginia's watch, uh-uh.

989

Dash: That is funny.

990

It is a cute little saying

991

Beck: I thought it was quite

nice when I was like seven

992

Dash: It's no never ever

never shake a baby, though.

993

Beck: No, it will never be a

never, ever, never shake a baby.

994

It will never be that.

995

It will never, ever, never be that.

996

Dash: Well, I guess let's hear

from this week's sponsor Okay.

997

So there's a kind of sponsor that is

perhaps more of a category, so I'll break

998

this up into subcategories later on here.

999

But today's topic is redneck things nice

white middle class people discovered while

00:45:54,622 --> 00:45:59,482

class touristing Contemporary hyper-online

culture throws the term Christopher

00:45:59,482 --> 00:46:03,455

Columbusing around a bit loosely to

refer to all such appropriations.

00:46:03,765 --> 00:46:06,865

But Queer Next does not condone the

Christopher Columbusing of Christopher

00:46:06,865 --> 00:46:11,085

Columbusing, because we have read

Edward Said and Gayatri Spivak,

00:46:11,085 --> 00:46:13,745

and we know the difference between

appropriation and obliteration.

00:46:14,245 --> 00:46:17,405

For instance, I stole this

bit from Sesame Street.

00:46:17,435 --> 00:46:18,645

I did not colonize it.

00:46:19,145 --> 00:46:27,465

Subcategories of RTNWMCPDWCT include

get off my gravel driveway, AKA no,

00:46:27,495 --> 00:46:33,403

not like that, not in this holler,

was just not necessary, well, I'll

00:46:33,403 --> 00:46:39,285

be, AKA I see your point, hush, the

neighbors will hear you, AKA well, when

00:46:39,285 --> 00:46:41,155

you say it like that, it sounds crazy.

00:46:42,265 --> 00:46:44,865

you can put this week's sponsor,

Cheap Beer, in the category

00:46:44,865 --> 00:46:46,725

of get off my gravel driveway.

00:46:47,225 --> 00:46:49,175

this episode is sponsored by Cheap Beer.

00:46:49,252 --> 00:46:52,532

no matter how hard a hipster works

to make that forty percent head

00:46:52,532 --> 00:46:56,792

eighteen dollar pitcher of PBR seem

refreshing, a redneck knows that it is

00:46:56,792 --> 00:47:00,662

actually just forty-nine cents worth

of liquefied white bread shavings

00:47:00,662 --> 00:47:00,992

from the Piggly

00:47:00,992 --> 00:47:02,532

Wiggly bakery dumpster.

00:47:02,988 --> 00:47:05,968

And the frat boys who suffered a

religious epiphany when they learned

00:47:05,968 --> 00:47:09,578

how to calculate the alcohol content

of Milwaukee's Best Ice would lower

00:47:09,578 --> 00:47:13,558

their voices about it if they met the

rednecks for whom that shit is water.

00:47:14,058 --> 00:47:17,538

And there's a kind of reverse beer

snob whose tolerance is too high

00:47:17,558 --> 00:47:21,418

for such pedestrian imbibements

that they can only feel anything

00:47:21,818 --> 00:47:23,258

when they go to the malt liquor.

00:47:23,728 --> 00:47:26,198

That illusion is shattered when

they offer you a Mickey's, though.

00:47:26,698 --> 00:47:26,928

Don't

00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:27,273

Beck: Eh.

00:47:27,358 --> 00:47:29,958

Dash: about high tolerances until

you're drinking steel reserved

00:47:29,988 --> 00:47:31,398

tall boys on the way to work.

00:47:31,898 --> 00:47:34,738

But it don't matter that no amount

of loopy scarves and artistically

00:47:34,738 --> 00:47:37,388

tattered flannels can make

these spirits taste any better.

00:47:37,618 --> 00:47:40,748

Pabst, Busch, and the Miller Brewing

Companies are happy to charge us

00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:44,338

all eight dollars a tall boy at the

corner store for it from now on.

00:47:44,643 --> 00:47:48,373

And Lord, don't let them find out

00:47:48,373 --> 00:47:51,523

of Appalachians will have to raw dog

their seedier years with just Boone's

00:47:51,523 --> 00:47:53,373

Farm strawberry wine for comfort.

00:47:53,873 --> 00:47:55,883

This week's sponsor, Cheap Beer

00:47:56,383 --> 00:48:00,303

Beck: One time, m- one, one of my

favorite memories of my sister, who I

00:48:00,303 --> 00:48:04,333

don't have a lot of favorite memories

with they sh- her and my mom and dad

00:48:04,343 --> 00:48:08,113

showed up at Miami's campus to pick me

up to take me home for Christmas break.

00:48:08,543 --> 00:48:11,883

They came up to do some shopping and

came up to pick me up, and when they

00:48:11,883 --> 00:48:16,973

showed up, my sister had two bottles of

Strawberry Farm in the backseat, and she

00:48:16,973 --> 00:48:20,973

challenged me to a chug-off, and we both

drank them as fast as we could, the whole

00:48:20,973 --> 00:48:25,343

bottle, and we got shit-faced in the

backseat, and my mom and dad drove us home

00:48:25,353 --> 00:48:27,353

giggling like schoolgirls the whole way.

00:48:28,092 --> 00:48:29,252

I don't even think I was 21.

00:48:29,292 --> 00:48:30,892

I was not 21 that point.

00:48:31,222 --> 00:48:33,502

I was, like, 18 or 19 when that happened

00:48:34,002 --> 00:48:34,192

Dash: Ugh.

00:48:34,692 --> 00:48:40,692

By the time I, like, just quit drinking

alcohol entirely, I would get heartburn

00:48:40,692 --> 00:48:42,772

so bad from it and indigestion.

00:48:42,802 --> 00:48:48,392

Like, it was not pleasant anymore, and

I was tired of continually looking for

00:48:48,392 --> 00:48:50,162

something that was pleasant to drink.

00:48:50,402 --> 00:48:53,062

And finally I just realized,

like, "Why am I doing that?

00:48:53,072 --> 00:48:53,482

That's…

00:48:53,652 --> 00:48:55,172

Clearly I don't enjoy this anymore."

00:48:55,672 --> 00:48:57,052

Beck: I have not missed alcohol at all.

00:48:57,052 --> 00:49:01,462

I do miss the social lubricant that

it is, 'cause you can just go out

00:49:01,462 --> 00:49:04,062

for a drink and it's a way to make

friends and all that kind of stuff,

00:49:04,082 --> 00:49:05,962

but it's just not worth it to me

00:49:06,462 --> 00:49:09,362

Dash: Well then it's,

just yet another expense.

00:49:09,642 --> 00:49:14,312

It, it would be just one more thing

that I would need to plan an entire

00:49:14,312 --> 00:49:18,682

day around to do here, because

there's no public transportation.

00:49:19,142 --> 00:49:23,612

It-- And there's not a liquor store

here like in the town I live in.

00:49:24,102 --> 00:49:27,912

So it, like there, there's no

way to do-- There's not even

00:49:27,912 --> 00:49:29,302

a social way to do it here

00:49:29,802 --> 00:49:30,072

Beck: Yeah.

00:49:30,572 --> 00:49:33,452

I couldn't, it's been probably

10 years since I drank a beer

00:49:33,952 --> 00:49:34,402

Dash: Same

00:49:34,902 --> 00:49:37,972

Beck: I was always doing, when I

was drinking to get drunk, I would

00:49:37,972 --> 00:49:41,762

drink shots of Jäger 'cause I could

swallow it and just be done with it

00:49:42,026 --> 00:49:46,076

Dash: a t- this time I drank a Tony

Jaeger because I happened to have it,

00:49:46,350 --> 00:49:51,600

because it, it was David's that my

cousin had, Either he had bought it

00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,360

for David and they were gonna drink it

together, or David bought it for him

00:49:54,420 --> 00:49:55,620

and they were gonna drink it together.

00:49:55,650 --> 00:49:58,780

And so when he, when David came back

from Iraq, and he just never did.

00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:04,501

And so my cousin gave it to me at

the, I think, or around that time.

00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:12,451

And it was a, one of the gigantic Jaeger

things, not, even bigger than a fifth.

00:50:12,481 --> 00:50:14,801

You know, like the, I

don't know how big they go.

00:50:15,527 --> 00:50:22,247

But I, I just didn't want it, so I

took it to a house party with, like,

00:50:22,247 --> 00:50:25,817

someone I used to date and some people

I barely knew, and just started handing

00:50:25,817 --> 00:50:28,727

out shots of Jaeger Meister to the…

00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:32,147

They must have thought I was, like,

the queer Jaeger fairy 'cause I just

00:50:32,147 --> 00:50:35,957

showed up to this party and started

handing out shots to everybody.

00:50:36,287 --> 00:50:39,947

But I would, like, I would

take one with somebody every

00:50:39,947 --> 00:50:42,677

so often, they go down so easy.

00:50:42,757 --> 00:50:46,857

I wasn't paying attention, and I, I

went to, like, leave, and I s- this

00:50:46,867 --> 00:50:50,177

is, I still drove the the Metro at

the time, and I got in the car and I

00:50:50,177 --> 00:50:52,167

was like, "Oh my God, I'm shit-faced.

00:50:52,667 --> 00:50:56,207

I better get out of this car before some

cop sees me and gives me a sobriety test."

00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:56,840

Beck: Right

00:50:57,340 --> 00:50:59,700

Dash: And it don't taste good,

but it goes down fairly easy

00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:01,320

Beck: Yeah, exactly

00:51:01,820 --> 00:51:04,750

Dash: I do miss bourbon a little

bit though, just because I

00:51:04,750 --> 00:51:06,160

actually did like the flavor of it

00:51:06,660 --> 00:51:06,880

Beck: Yeah.

00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,310

No, I never found one I liked.

00:51:08,620 --> 00:51:11,773

The best I could tolerate was

Zima back in the '90s, and

00:51:11,773 --> 00:51:13,923

that tasted like liquid candy

00:51:14,423 --> 00:51:19,612

Dash: Oh, the hard seltzers, those

are, those are kind of a, a minefield

00:51:19,612 --> 00:51:21,022

for people that don't drink.

00:51:21,522 --> 00:51:27,112

I was at, I was like at a work event

f- at EKU, and this waiter came up

00:51:27,112 --> 00:51:29,432

and he like asked me what I wanted

to drink, and I was, I was asking

00:51:29,432 --> 00:51:31,212

him if he had any seltzer water.

00:51:31,712 --> 00:51:34,662

And he starts naming things off,

and I hadn't heard of any of them.

00:51:34,762 --> 00:51:38,372

And I was just like, know, like,

like just LaCroix or something?"

00:51:38,872 --> 00:51:42,412

And he like starts naming them, and

I just said, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

00:51:42,912 --> 00:51:46,832

this like other, this counselor

who overheard it came up and he

00:51:46,832 --> 00:51:49,332

goes, " Did you just order alcohol?"

00:51:49,392 --> 00:51:51,371

I was like, "Did I?"

00:51:51,726 --> 00:51:54,503

He said, " Yeah, you, you

just ordered a High Noon.

00:51:54,513 --> 00:51:56,103

That's a brand of hard seltzer."

00:51:56,123 --> 00:51:58,803

And I was like, "Motherfucker,

go get that fucking…"

00:52:00,676 --> 00:52:03,136

Like, I specifically said, "Like LaCroix."

00:52:03,636 --> 00:52:04,976

Beck: Maybe they didn't know what that was

00:52:05,476 --> 00:52:06,196

Dash: That's fair.

00:52:06,696 --> 00:52:08,266

Speaking of hipsters, right?

00:52:08,276 --> 00:52:09,436

I mean, that's

00:52:09,523 --> 00:52:09,933

Beck: Right

00:52:10,086 --> 00:52:13,026

Dash: me You got a noun of

Appalachian interest for us?

00:52:13,526 --> 00:52:14,346

Beck: I do.

00:52:14,616 --> 00:52:15,226

I do.

00:52:15,236 --> 00:52:16,426

Let me pull them up here.

00:52:16,926 --> 00:52:17,896

Dash: Why does the internet get

00:52:17,896 --> 00:52:19,466

suspiciously better when Shana leaves?

00:52:19,966 --> 00:52:20,746

Beck: I don't know.

00:52:25,996 --> 00:52:29,216

Today's noun of Appalachian

interest is the humble moon pie.

00:52:29,496 --> 00:52:32,276

A little graham cracker, a

little marshmallow, a chocolate

00:52:32,276 --> 00:52:35,116

coating, and suddenly the gas

station stop has a purpose.

00:52:35,616 --> 00:52:39,836

The moon pie got its start at

00:52:40,166 --> 00:52:44,044

According to the company's origin story,

a traveling salesman asked a Kentucky

00:52:44,044 --> 00:52:45,854

coal miner what kind of snack he wanted.

00:52:46,104 --> 00:52:49,584

The answer was something filling, and

when the question of size came up, the

00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:53,474

miner wanted it as big as the moon, which

is a reasonable request for somebody

00:52:53,474 --> 00:52:54,844

who had been working underground.

00:52:55,184 --> 00:52:57,994

If you ask a hungry person what

size snack they want, you need to

00:52:58,014 --> 00:52:59,824

be prepared for an ambitious answer.

00:53:00,324 --> 00:53:03,474

That story gives Moon Pie its

Appalachian connection, coal miners

00:53:03,474 --> 00:53:06,164

looking for something affordable

to get them through a hard day.

00:53:06,494 --> 00:53:09,334

It originally sold for a nickel

and became a familiar partner

00:53:09,434 --> 00:53:11,294

to RC Cola across the South.

00:53:11,734 --> 00:53:15,174

And there's something comforting about

a snack with such modest expectations.

00:53:15,674 --> 00:53:18,384

A Moon Pie has never asked

me to become my best self.

00:53:18,624 --> 00:53:21,534

It has asked me to open the wrapper

and accept some crumbs are going

00:53:21,534 --> 00:53:23,334

down my shirt, but that's about it.

00:53:23,734 --> 00:53:27,284

Over time, the family expanded to

include double deckers and flavors

00:53:27,284 --> 00:53:30,424

like banana and vanilla because

apparently somebody looked at the

00:53:30,424 --> 00:53:33,564

original and said, "This is good, but

we could fit more marshmallow in here."

00:53:33,804 --> 00:53:35,804

And that person understood the assignment.

00:53:36,314 --> 00:53:38,914

For a little packaged snack,

it carries a lot of history.

00:53:38,944 --> 00:53:41,814

There's working life in that story,

along with the pleasure of having

00:53:41,814 --> 00:53:43,324

something sweet you can afford.

00:53:43,644 --> 00:53:45,524

So today, we salute the Moon Pie.

00:53:45,754 --> 00:53:48,524

More than a century after its

debut, we're still talking about

00:53:48,524 --> 00:53:49,994

a coal miner's snack request.

00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:52,984

Most customer feedback does

not age that successfully

00:53:53,484 --> 00:53:55,404

Dash: Yeah, what an icon that guy was.

00:53:55,904 --> 00:53:56,904

Beck: Yeah, right

00:53:57,404 --> 00:53:59,694

Dash: Oh, God, I loved

Moon Pies growing up.

00:54:00,084 --> 00:54:04,664

They were like the treat to get

in, like packed in your lunch.

00:54:04,764 --> 00:54:04,964

Beck: Yehaw

00:54:04,999 --> 00:54:08,269

Dash: they, you know, they could

get them, get a box of them for

00:54:08,269 --> 00:54:09,889

pretty cheap at the grocery store

00:54:10,389 --> 00:54:10,849

Beck: Yeah.

00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:11,739

Dash: And they were

00:54:11,794 --> 00:54:13,004

Beck: Yeah, I was a big fan of him too.

00:54:13,504 --> 00:54:13,654

Dash: They're

00:54:13,654 --> 00:54:14,404

smaller now

00:54:14,904 --> 00:54:15,444

Beck: yeah.

00:54:15,494 --> 00:54:19,224

unfortunately, the incredible

shrinking box phenomenon

00:54:19,724 --> 00:54:19,904

Dash: Yehaw

00:54:20,404 --> 00:54:23,664

Beck: That was one of those things in

college that hit me that never left me.

00:54:23,964 --> 00:54:29,154

In a, in a, in a class that I took we

had to write a paper about the cereal

00:54:29,154 --> 00:54:32,964

aisle, and like anything we wanted

about the cereal aisle, but it had

00:54:32,964 --> 00:54:34,674

to be related to marketing, right?

00:54:34,994 --> 00:54:37,874

And that was one of the

wildest papers I ever wrote.

00:54:37,914 --> 00:54:41,744

I learned so much about that paper,

'cause I was so hardcore about my grades.

00:54:42,074 --> 00:54:44,594

Like every time I went to the

grocery store, he told us about it

00:54:44,594 --> 00:54:47,164

like the first week, and the paper

was due at the end of the semester.

00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:50,444

So every time I went to Kroger, I

would like wander the, the cereal

00:54:50,444 --> 00:54:52,804

aisle looking for what I wanted

to write my paper on, you know?

00:54:53,154 --> 00:54:56,884

And the, the incredible shrinking box

was one of the things that I found when

00:54:56,884 --> 00:54:58,714

I was writing that, and it blew me away.

00:54:59,014 --> 00:55:02,864

Just the idea that, you know, you're,

first you get a 12-ounce box for $3,

00:55:03,114 --> 00:55:06,414

and then you get a nine-ounce box for

$3, and the, and the price stays the

00:55:06,414 --> 00:55:08,294

same, but the box shrinks, you know?

00:55:08,674 --> 00:55:11,154

And that is something we've

all seen definitely happening

00:55:11,164 --> 00:55:12,424

even more here lately.

00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:14,954

It's because diesel is $6 a gallon.

00:55:15,004 --> 00:55:17,014

That's one of the reasons

everything is so high.

00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:18,874

I'm mad about gas prices.

00:55:19,214 --> 00:55:20,184

How much are they there?

00:55:20,684 --> 00:55:28,874

Dash: Uh, diesel is over $6 here, but

unleaded, like just 87 unleaded is $4.27

00:55:28,874 --> 00:55:30,324

something a gallon like that

00:55:30,824 --> 00:55:32,304

Beck: It was, it was $4.56

00:55:32,304 --> 00:55:34,264

at the Kroger by my house today

00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:40,504

Dash: I was for some reason on the,

like, the, the dashboards, like

00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:43,344

the s- US Censa data dashboards.

00:55:43,684 --> 00:55:48,074

It's not the U- the, not the federal

we- website anymore, but there are

00:55:48,454 --> 00:55:52,604

other organizations that, like,

clean that data and parse it.

00:55:53,104 --> 00:55:54,344

And it was…

00:55:54,394 --> 00:55:56,194

I was up poverty.

00:55:56,224 --> 00:56:00,184

Like, I went down a rabbit hole

basically looking up, like, how it's

00:56:00,184 --> 00:56:04,404

calculated, who decides what level,

where the demarcation is between

00:56:04,664 --> 00:56:07,084

poverty and not poverty, which…

00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:10,561

And that was a depressing answer,

because it's one formula that was

00:56:10,561 --> 00:56:16,205

created a specific project by a

woman who specifically said, "This

00:56:16,215 --> 00:56:17,915

is not for any kind of forecasting.

00:56:17,915 --> 00:56:19,985

This is not to be used for

any kind of benchmarking.

00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:22,755

This is for this particular

00:56:23,255 --> 00:56:24,455

That was the last time,

00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:25,070

Beck: Oh wow

00:56:25,570 --> 00:56:25,940

Dash: Any…

00:56:25,970 --> 00:56:29,990

That was, that, the, the pro- the formula

is just the same as it always has been.