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Sore Snapper | Episode 277
Episode 277 • 12th December 2024 • Boomer Bunker • John Jamingo and The Duchess
00:00:00 02:00:52

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In this episode, Duchess and John Jamingo tackle contemporary issues, drawing listeners into a tapestry of humor, insight, and critical analysis.

The hosts kick things off with a light-hearted discussion about the absurdities of podcasting and the struggle to maintain focus, cleverly mirroring their chaotic format.

As they transition into the serious topic of drone sightings in New Jersey, the conversation grows increasingly intense, highlighting the intersection of media, politics, and public safety. They dissect the governor's responses, engaging with themes of accountability, transparency, and the often comedic disconnect between governmental assurances and public fears.

The episode also features a unique segment where they introduce a guest, Zipteye from the Planet Zig Zog, who adds an extraterrestrial twist to the discussion, further igniting the hosts, which is speculation about alien involvement in the drone phenomenon. Zipteye phenomenon

This blend of comedic elements with substantive political commentary creates a rich listening experience, urging the audience to reflect on the complexities of modern societal challenges while enjoying the hosts' engaging rapport.

Takeaways:

  • A significant portion of the episode revolves around the recent drone sightings in New Jersey, sparking a lively debate.
  • The conversation shifts to discussing controversial political figures and their policies, emphasizing personal opinions and frustrations.
  • The episode touches on the complexities of modern dating and societal expectations regarding body image and health.
  • The hosts reflect on the impact of media narratives on public perception, especially surrounding political events.

Join us Monday and Thursdays at 6:30 pm Eastern for our live stream on the following platforms:

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https://www.facebook.com/boomerbunker

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/boomer_bunker

Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/nYwz8e8Wwr

Voice Mail Number: (856) 477-1935

Transcripts

Host:

All right, you guys, podcast time.

Host:

We got the equipment and the perfect business plan.

Host:

Give our show away for free and tell no one how to find it.

Host:

Ready?

Host:

I'm gonna start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.

Duchess:

Awesome.

Host:

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another riveting episode of the Boomer Bunker, the podcast that tackles the tough topics, share some laughs, and dive headfirst into the sea of controversy.

Host:

With no life jackets in sight, I'm thrilled to introduce your hosts, the dynamic duo who bring wisdom, wit, and a whole lot of candor.

Host:

First up, she's the voice of reason with a dash of sass, always ready to call it like she sees it.

Host:

The Duchess.

Host:

And joining her, he's the no nonsense sidekick armed with bold opinions and a bald head that's ready to shine.

Host:

John Jamingo.

Host:

Together, they'll navigate the latest headlines, dive into deep debates, and maybe even share a P.

Host:

Bucket anecdote or two.

Host:

So buckle up and get ready for a conversation that's as lively as it is enlightening.

Host:

Without further ado, here are Duchess and Jamingo.

Host:

Hey, everybody, it's Thursday night.

Host:

I'm John Domingo.

Host:

My host over here with a blood alcohol content under the legal limit is the Duchess.

Duchess:

Good evening.

Duchess:

No celebrating tonight.

Host:

Did you get a chance to go back and watch yourself on this, on the video?

Host:

Did you go back?

Host:

Yes.

Host:

You did.

Host:

I could tell by a look.

Duchess:

I did and I did.

Host:

What'd you think?

Duchess:

I think I was terrible.

Duchess:

So annoying.

Host:

Oh, I loved it so much.

Duchess:

Oh, so bad.

Host:

I loved it so much.

Duchess:

No, it's not my best idea.

Host:

What?

Host:

It was fine.

Host:

You did fine.

Host:

It was.

Host:

It was great.

Host:

I.

Host:

I think you should drink more before the show.

Duchess:

Sometimes I don't think there's better.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

I don't know about better.

Host:

Different.

Host:

It was different.

Host:

It lowered some of your inner in.

Host:

What's that called?

Host:

Inhibitions.

Host:

Yeah, that's what it is.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

Not inhibitions.

Host:

Inhibitions.

Host:

Or sometimes inhibitions.

Host:

Bitchin's.

Host:

Okay, Whatever.

Duchess:

We have interesting evenings, so it could be bitchy.

Host:

It's going to be.

Host:

Well, we'll see what happens today.

Host:

I'm a little nervous today.

Host:

There's a guest that's coming in.

Host:

I don't know how he's going to work out, you know, because things happen.

Host:

I don't know what's going on with this drone thing in New Jersey.

Host:

Like, there's this big spotlight.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

A lot of it's in your area.

Host:

You haven't seen one.

Host:

Well, you're not out at night looking at the sky.

Duchess:

I'm not looking.

Duchess:

Although I actually, I think when I got up to go to the gym, I mean, I'm out at 5am so, you know, 4:35 in the morning.

Duchess:

And I had noticed that somebody had posted one of the local Facebook groups like around 2, 3, 4 in the morning, that they were, they like, I see them and I'm like, well, maybe I could see them.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

But I'm not paying attention.

Host:

So you're not looking for them?

Duchess:

I'm not looking up while I'm driving.

Duchess:

No, no.

Host:

But it's all over the news.

Host:

The, you're getting so many different things.

Host:

Like people, are they, you know, is it, is it China, is it Iran?

Host:

Is it, is it aliens?

Duchess:

Is it my relatives?

Host:

Is it.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Your, your, your half of your relatives, Is that, is that it?

Duchess:

Probably not, but.

Host:

So they went to our illustrious governor and they loves him.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

And they asked him, you know, he's got his new plugs.

Host:

He hasn't used the New Jersey dental plan yet, but he's got new plugs.

Host:

And so this is what he said.

Host:

The drones in New Jersey, in Morris County, 20.

Host:

I don't know how many mayors sent a letter to you this morning asking for a clarification.

Host:

What can you tell us what is going on and why is it taking so long to come up with an explanation?

Host:

Yeah, it's a good.

Host:

I don't blame people for being frustrated.

Host:

Let me say most importantly, right up front, we see no evidence.

Host:

And I say we.

Host:

This includes Homeland Security, FBI, Secret Service, our state police authorities at all levels of government.

Host:

The most important point to say is we don't see any concern for public safety.

Host:

That's number one.

Host:

Number two, having said that, it's really frustrating that we don't have more answers as to where they're coming from and why they're doing what they're doing.

Host:

We had last night 49 sightings.

Host:

I think 20 of them were over 100.

Host:

Now those include.

Host:

I think I saw one mistaken.

Host:

A fixed wing aircraft, a plane, a small Piper Cub, for instance, for a drone.

Host:

Or you saw one and that counts and then I saw the same one and that counts.

Host:

So we think these are overstated, but it's a non zero number.

Host:

I was on with the White House and Homeland Security leadership literally at the very top yesterday pretty much all day.

Host:

I'm hoping we'll get answers sooner than later.

Host:

I would just ask folks to continue to let the FBI or their local law enforcement know when they see something.

Host:

And we'll continue to do everything we can with our federal partners to get clearer answers.

John Jamingo:

Why is it so hard to get answers?

Host:

These are apparently very, as I understand it, very sophisticated.

Host:

The minute you get eyes on them, they go dark.

Host:

And, you know, we're obviously most concerned about sensitive targets and sensitive, critical infrastructure.

Host:

So we've got military assets, we've got utility assets, we've got.

Host:

The president elects one of his homes here.

Host:

This is something we're taking deadly seriously.

Host:

We've gotten good cooperation out of the feds, but we need more.

Host:

And that's.

Host:

That was my plea.

Host:

All right, so that's Governor Murphy.

Host:

You know how he can't say Trump?

Host:

He's got to say the President elect.

Duchess:

He won't.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

He doesn't say his name.

Host:

All right, so he had to put.

Duchess:

Chapstick on before he got all his talking on.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So my, my issue is why can't we find out where they're coming from and where they're going?

Host:

Okay, here's one.

Host:

And don't.

Host:

There's nothing for nothing.

Host:

But they.

Host:

We have Air Force bases in New Jersey.

Host:

We do that, have F16s, F18s, or, you know, all.

Host:

We got all the best fighter jets here in New Jersey.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

So there's no.

Duchess:

I live, I live near a bunch of them, right by them.

Host:

Like, you're sitting there having your coffee and, you know, they come over.

Host:

It's.

Host:

It's ridiculous.

Host:

So the, so, like, why can't they just scramble a jet and follow one of these things to where they go?

Host:

That's my thing.

Host:

Like, that's.

Host:

If you think that the, our military isn't following these things or, you know, having a AWAC airplane up where they can have radar.

Host:

They know where they're going.

Host:

They just don't want to tell us.

Host:

Now, they said they know more than they're telling.

Host:

So then we are.

Host:

We have Congressman Jeff Van Drew, who is, he was a Democrat, now he's a Republican.

Host:

He was on Fox News.

Host:

And he blames your people.

Host:

In Focus now, Republican Congressman Jeff Van Drew of New Jersey, member of the House Judiciary Committee on the Hill right now.

Host:

How do you address this at this point?

Host:

Well, here's the real deal, Harris.

Host:

You know, I'm also on the Transportation Committee on the Aviation Subcommittee.

Host:

And I've gotten to know people and from very high sources, very qualified sources, very responsible sources.

Host:

I'm going to tell you the real deal.

Host:

Iran launched a mothership probably about a month ago that contains these drones.

Host:

That mothership is off.

Host:

I'm going to tell you the deal.

Host:

It's off.

Host:

The east coast of the United States of America.

Host:

They've launched drones.

Host:

Is everything that we can see or hear.

Host:

And again, these are from high sources.

Host:

I don't say this lightly.

Host:

Now, you know we know there was a probability it could have been our own government.

Host:

We know it's not our own government because they would have let us know it could have been.

Host:

I'm sure they will really glorified hobbyists or hobbyists that were doing something unbelievable.

Host:

They don't have the technology, but let's pretend that's possible.

Host:

The third possibility was somebody, an adversarial country doing this know that Iran made a deal with China to purchase drones, motherships and technology in order to go forward.

Host:

The sources I have are good.

Host:

They can't reveal who they are because they are speaking to me in confidentiality.

Host:

These drones should be shot down.

Host:

Whether it was some crazy hobbyist that we can't imagine or whether it is Iran, and I think it very possibly could be they should be shot down.

Host:

We are not getting the full deal and the military is on alert with this.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

Harris Faulkner is like, okay, gotta go.

Duchess:

She's cutting him off like he's crazy.

Host:

If they think that there's an Iranian ship off the coast of New.

Host:

Why isn't there a carrier group off in New Jersey and why isn't there a big giant explosion where this ship from Iran is supposed was.

Host:

Why isn't this thing being shot out of the water?

Duchess:

I think Vandrew said that just to get a reaction from the federal government because they got immediately replied that there's no Iranian ship.

Host:

There's no.

Duchess:

There's no.

Duchess:

So I mean, very, very quickly the Pentagon replied to that.

Duchess:

Look, I think there's.

Duchess:

Honestly, I think this drone situation, I think it's foreign countries.

Duchess:

I think there are some that have been doing this.

Duchess:

But I also think because A, we're in New Jersey and we're a bunch of trolls.

Duchess:

I think there's quite a bit people who are flying their own drones with their neighbors, I guarantee it.

Duchess:

And they go on and on about like, you know, not all drones are huge.

Duchess:

Anybody can buy a drone.

Duchess:

Anybody can buy one.

Host:

The ones they're seeing are the size of.

Duchess:

I've heard scoop, they're picking out ones that are planes.

Host:

Police, police have seen these, say they're the size of an SUV or a school bus.

Host:

So they're big.

Duchess:

So is there any footage that doesn't look like it's been Shot by big Shot, like by Bigfoot, like.

Duchess:

Because if you put that kind of footage together, it's literally like trash.

Duchess:

All the tech that we have and they've only been able to be captured by blurry iPhone videos.

Host:

Again, I don't know.

Host:

I would think that.

Host:

And listen, I'm not going out and chasing them because my luck, I'll be abducted.

Duchess:

They're looking for some jamingo egg.

Host:

I don't know what they're looking for, but I'm just.

Duchess:

They're looking to probe.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

They could be probing, you know, probing time.

Host:

Yeah, I have a pristine bum.

Host:

I don't need any probe or any anal probe up there.

Host:

It's ridiculous.

Host:

Well, but they say they're coming from the ocean.

Host:

The police have seen them coming from the ocean.

Duchess:

Well, that makes sense to me.

Duchess:

I mean, the, the, the, the Chinese I know have been purchasing tons of property in America.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

For whatever reason, I'm sure it's not because they're going to be planting wheat.

Duchess:

You know, they're picking up farmland, so who knows where they're owning property.

Duchess:

So honestly, I think that's a lot of it.

Duchess:

I do think it's a.

Duchess:

Probably foreign countries with their drones investigating.

Duchess:

And then I also think it's the government with our drones investigating the what's going on.

Duchess:

And they're not going to be like, okay, everybody, this is what we're doing.

Duchess:

They're not dialing in to tell people like the average schmuck what's going on.

Duchess:

But the problem is, is now we see enough things going on.

Duchess:

People are freaking the fuck out.

Duchess:

They don't want you to shoot them down because they don't know what you're shooting down.

Host:

Okay?

Host:

I say that to say this.

Duchess:

Can you please read this?

Host:

It's the government.

Duchess:

Thank you, Sparky.

Host:

Look, last Monday I said that there was a prediction that there would be a fight in the sky between US Military crafts, alien crafts fighting alien crafts and fighting US Military crafts.

Host:

Could this be it?

Host:

Could this be it?

Host:

Dean says there's not a tractor beam strong enough to pick you up.

Host:

Yes, there are.

Host:

There is.

Duchess:

It says they are spaceship tractor beams are strong enough.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

They are strong enough to pick me up.

Duchess:

You've been doing great.

Duchess:

Of course they're going to grab you, so here you go.

Duchess:

Bob says he got a nice drone as a gift and where he lives is a no fly zone.

Duchess:

This is because he's near an executive airport.

Duchess:

But you can get a very nice drone.

Duchess:

You can purchase one.

Host:

They've had drones They've seen these things, and a guy's had a drone.

Host:

He had two battery packs on it.

Host:

He sent it up towards the drone, and then all of a sudden, the thing falls out of the sky.

Host:

Because the batteries are dead.

Duchess:

Yeah, that happens.

Host:

It drains the batteries.

Duchess:

You can do that.

Duchess:

But the batteries also get wiped out pretty quickly on a drone.

Host:

Not that fast.

Host:

Not shoot straight up.

Host:

There's.

Host:

Sometimes they can go for like an hour or so, especially if you have two.

Host:

So today I saw in China, they have this thing that they.

Host:

There's a drone flying, and they have this.

Host:

It looks like a gun, and it's like a ray gun or whatever it does.

Host:

It shoots a frequency.

Host:

Listen.

Host:

They were speaking chink, so I don't know what they were doing.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

Host:

Sounded like someone threw a tin can down the street.

Host:

But they point this gun at the drone, and it brings it down.

Host:

Some kind of frequency array or whatever.

Host:

It does.

Host:

Whatever they do over there, Voodoo that they do, they bring it down.

Host:

So, you know, that could be what's on these orbs, because some of them.

Host:

Okay, so some of them are round orbs, and then some of them are fixed wing, so it's hard to tell.

Host:

You know, Again, you don't know what's up there.

Duchess:

That's true.

Host:

All right, so I'm just saying that.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

I mean, I don't think it's E.T.

Duchess:

you don't seem to.

Duchess:

No.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

You sure about that?

Duchess:

I'm 100 sure.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

Because if they're flying around looking at this nonsense, and we're all like, oh, my God, they'll be like, these people are so stupid.

Host:

All right, well, if you.

Host:

If that's true, then I think I should bring our guest on here where you can talk to him about this, because I think he knows what's going on.

Duchess:

Well, if he does, then that's great.

Host:

Here we go.

Zip Tie:

Hello, humans.

Zip Tie:

I am Zip Tie from the Plan Zip.

Zip Tie:

And I'll be here to straighten you out.

Duchess:

Oh, well, nice to meet you, Zip Tie.

Duchess:

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule, flying around, terrifying ourselves.

Duchess:

Citizens.

Zip Tie:

The problem is we finally had to come out because you people are getting dumber.

Zip Tie:

We give you technology.

Zip Tie:

You can't even teach your children to read a clock.

Duchess:

Oh, we could take them to a library and teach them stuff.

Zip Tie:

Do you have libraries?

Zip Tie:

Biggest waste of money to someone tell you it's the dumbest thing ever.

Zip Tie:

You people are getting dumber and dumber.

Duchess:

What kind of technology have you given us?

Zip Tie:

I can't tell you.

Zip Tie:

I'M just telling you right now.

Zip Tie:

Then we're afraid with the government that you have right now, you're threatening to blow up this whole planet.

Zip Tie:

And we live here to you morons.

Zip Tie:

So we have to come out here and try to straighten your ass out.

Duchess:

Well, how many of you are out there?

Zip Tie:

I can't tell you that either.

Zip Tie:

Well, what I will tell you is there is no anal probing.

Zip Tie:

That fat guy doesn't have to worry about anything.

Zip Tie:

We're not sticking anything up his ass.

Duchess:

No probing.

Duchess:

Well, that's a good thing.

Duchess:

A lot of.

Duchess:

A lot of people will be very relieved to hear that.

Zip Tie:

This government you have right now, one dumber than the next.

Zip Tie:

You've got people, you can't even secure your own borders.

Zip Tie:

And now you're afraid that we're going to come in and do something like you can stop us.

Zip Tie:

You can't stop us.

Duchess:

What makes you say we can't stop you?

Zip Tie:

I'm very shot one of them.

Zip Tie:

Dang it.

Zip Tie:

Big wits.

Zip Tie:

But this here's.

Zip Tie:

Here's the thing.

Zip Tie:

I'm just gonna say this right now.

Zip Tie:

If they don't come up with some other kind of.

Zip Tie:

If there's only gonna be one season of land man, then that's it.

Zip Tie:

We're gonna just end this planet.

Zip Tie:

The other thing is if you guys don't stop threatening to shoot nuclear bombs at each other, we're just gonna leave this place and let you turn it into a ball of dust.

Duchess:

So what was your demands?

Duchess:

We had to have another season of what?

Zip Tie:

Show you ain't fucked up.

Zip Tie:

Yellowstone.

Zip Tie:

So now we need land men.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

Also, we get on that.

Zip Tie:

I predicted the Philadelphia Eagles will beat the Pittsburgh Steelers this weekend by seven points.

Duchess:

I know You've been up in space too long if you're thinking that's going to happen.

Zip Tie:

Listen, you.

Zip Tie:

I'm not going to sit here.

Zip Tie:

I am.

Zip Tie:

What's my name?

Zip Tie:

I am Zepti from the planet Zigzag.

Zip Tie:

I know what I'm talking about.

Zip Tie:

I can see into the future.

Duchess:

You can?

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

And what's the score going to be by.

Duchess:

Up by seven.

Zip Tie:

You say 31 to 20.

Duchess:

31 to 20.

Duchess:

Do you have a wager on this zip tie?

Zip Tie:

I don't bet on football.

Duchess:

You don't?

Zip Tie:

Anytime I bet on football, I lose.

Zip Tie:

I'm such a mush.

Duchess:

Well, I figured you'd be able to manipulate some kind of outcome, so maybe we don't.

Zip Tie:

We're like Star Trek.

Zip Tie:

We have some kind of prime directive we're not allowed to.

Duchess:

Really Can't Alter anything or make any changes.

Zip Tie:

See, basically, you're like dancing monkeys to us.

Duchess:

You allow us to fuck it up ourselves.

Zip Tie:

Yes, we thought we were going to be able to have contact with you, but Now I'm not 100% sure.

Zip Tie:

You're out there shooting executives because you can't get.

Zip Tie:

You can't get your back worked on.

Zip Tie:

Here's another thing.

Zip Tie:

If that guy's back is so bad, how did he shoot somebody then get on a bike and ride the out of there?

Zip Tie:

Does none of this makes sense.

Duchess:

But you pressed, so this is all good points.

Zip Tie:

I have to go fly my zone, my drone somewhere else.

Zip Tie:

I'll talk to you later.

Duchess:

All right, thank you, Zip tie.

Host:

Jesus Christ.

Host:

That zip tie, I'll tell you.

Duchess:

Wow, that was an interesting visit.

Duchess:

I'm sorry you missed it.

Host:

I did go to the bathroom.

Duchess:

Oh, okay.

Duchess:

Well, thank goodness.

Host:

What did I miss?

Duchess:

Oh, just some little green guy came and threatened me.

Duchess:

Said the Eagles were going to win by seven.

Host:

Oh, there you go.

Duchess:

See, clearly he's a fucking moron.

Duchess:

I was so hoping get that.

Host:

You know how hard it was to find that thing Sifty?

Host:

I, C, O P D.

Duchess:

Sound almost like a little cancer kissy there going on.

Host:

Oh, I never thought of that.

Duchess:

Oh, here we go.

Duchess:

Zip Tie Hawking.

Duchess:

Oh.

Duchess:

Oh my.

Host:

I also want to thank Bruce.

Duchess:

I wish I had better questions.

Host:

Yeah, I know.

Host:

You're really failing now.

Host:

Failing there.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

Duchess:

But he was a little hard to understand, so I was trying to pay attention to what he was saying.

Zip Tie:

How dare you.

Zip Tie:

He just kept speaking perfectly fine.

Duchess:

I didn't say you weren't speaking fine.

Duchess:

It's hard to understand it.

Zip Tie:

Open your ears, lady.

Zip Tie:

Maybe you shake a few glasses of wine, maybe you'll understand me better.

Host:

All right, all right.

Host:

Get out of here, Zip tie.

Duchess:

Just beat it, Zip tie.

Duchess:

Piece of shit.

Duchess:

Go fuck yourself.

Host:

Earlier I was calling him zigzag from the planet Zip Tie.

Host:

I'm like, wait a minute.

Host:

That was.

Duchess:

It's the other way around.

Zip Tie:

The fat guy had to brighten.

Duchess:

Is he drinking?

Duchess:

Did you have a couple old fashions tonight?

Host:

No.

Duchess:

Anyhow, well, that was interesting.

Duchess:

But yeah, the whole drone situation is.

Duchess:

Is up.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

I mean, who only knows?

Host:

I'm afraid.

Host:

Aragon.

Host:

Listen, if these things are aliens and we start shooting at them, oh, it's gonna be probably.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

I don't think.

Host:

I think we should just leave if.

Host:

As long as nothing's happening, as long as nobody's getting hurt or something like just leave them the alone.

Host:

Just get them Out.

Host:

They're not causing.

Host:

They're not getting in the way of any planes or anything like this.

Host:

They're just flying around.

Host:

You know, maybe they're just out there.

Host:

Or here's the other thing.

Host:

Maybe these drones are from us and we're monitoring, you know, the coastline because they seem to be always on the coast.

Host:

Maybe we're monitoring the coastline for any submarines or something like that.

Duchess:

So in other words, it's our own government.

Host:

Could be.

Duchess:

Like I suggested.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Yes, I think there's a good chance, honestly.

Duchess:

And I.

Duchess:

And I think.

Duchess:

And again, I still believe people are throwing up their own drones to fuck up their neighbors.

Duchess:

So I truly believe that.

Duchess:

And again, if you get a decent quality drone and you have your service servos, the remote thing you can really do.

Host:

And why only at night?

Host:

Why aren't they out during the day?

Host:

Wouldn't you love to see just, like, one of them go by being chased by a jet?

Host:

How cool would that be?

Host:

Oh, there he goes.

Host:

Wait, man, he's coming back.

Duchess:

You're really having way too much fun with those.

Duchess:

Sorry, George, wait.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So much for the.

Host:

All right, I have a.

Duchess:

The drone component of our evening.

Host:

Right.

Host:

I have a question for you.

Duchess:

Yes.

Host:

All right, so.

Host:

And this is for the.

Host:

Also for the people that are watching live.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

I want to know whose fault this is.

Host:

All right, so here's a story of a lady, and she has an issue.

Host:

Okay, so I'll let her tell a story.

Duchess:

So my husband took a topless photo of me on our anniversary with a Polaroid camera at the hotel we were staying in.

Host:

Just, you know, I'm sure, as one.

Duchess:

Does, you know, everybody does it, but that's not the point.

Duchess:

And it was in his pickup, and the guy that had been detailing the truck took a picture of it and sent it to his friends on Snapchat.

Duchess:

His friends then screenshotted it and started sharing it with everyone else.

Duchess:

So those couple of people sent it to a couple of people, and then a couple of people got it.

Duchess:

And then some random stranger reaches out to my husband today on Facebook and was like, hey, I just want you to know that your wife is, like, going around on social media today, and her name and stuff is on it.

Duchess:

I just don't understand and didn't want to tell us who posted it.

Duchess:

So I reach out to one of the companies and ask, and they're like, lord, no, we would never do that.

Duchess:

And I'm like, okay.

Duchess:

Well, my husband said he knew it was in the truck.

Duchess:

You know, after the Fact didn't matter.

Duchess:

So then Caleb tells me, and I'm upset and I'm just kind of freaked out.

Duchess:

And then I start trying to justify it, like, well, it's not that big of a deal.

Duchess:

It was just my boobs making all these excuses like, why this was okay.

Duchess:

This has been several hours ago, by the way.

Duchess:

Okay, so I've been crying.

Duchess:

I'm upset.

Duchess:

I go to Walmart.

Duchess:

Caleb calls the guy and says, hey, did you take this picture?

Duchess:

And he says, yes.

Duchess:

Caleb asked him why.

Duchess:

He says, I don't really know, actually.

Duchess:

It was like a year ago.

Duchess:

I'm like, what the hell?

Host:

What do you mean?

Host:

All right, so that's the story.

Host:

Whose fault is this?

Duchess:

Okay, it seems a little weird to me.

Duchess:

Like, first of all, she's like, I've been crying all day.

Duchess:

She does not look like she's okay.

Host:

That was my one point.

Duchess:

So that's my.

Duchess:

Because I'm like, girl, I know what I look like after I cry for like an hour.

Host:

Right?

Host:

No, she's beautifully made, all put together, makeup perfect.

Duchess:

If this went on a couple hours ago, she should be a mess.

Duchess:

But okay, so, okay, if the story is as.

Duchess:

As she told it, it's definitely her husband's fault.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

For leaving in the fucking truck.

Host:

Why do you have.

Duchess:

I mean, the guy's a piece of shit for taking the picture of it and sharing it.

Duchess:

Because that's a dick move.

Duchess:

Because clearly it was a Polaroid.

Duchess:

So it was somebody that this dude knew.

Duchess:

But it's her husband 100%, because not for nothing, don't you have cell phones?

Duchess:

Can't you keep that shit on your cell phone?

Duchess:

It's private.

Host:

Well, okay.

Host:

So that's how one way gets out.

Host:

They figured they take a Polaroid.

Host:

Why is it in the truck?

Duchess:

Why is there.

Duchess:

I guess why is it.

Duchess:

And I'm curious as to how her name was on it.

Host:

Well, I'm sure they figured out whose truck it was and his wife and that.

Host:

Okay, so why was it in this truck?

Host:

I'm just trying to see if you.

Host:

Why?

Host:

I know why I think it was in the truck.

Host:

Why do you think.

Host:

Why?

Duchess:

The husband had it in the truck?

Host:

Yes.

Duchess:

Well, first of all, I think it's weird that you carry a Polaroid around in your truck.

Host:

Okay?

Duchess:

Especially in today's wife, where you can keep.

Duchess:

Well, I mean, look, she's pretty.

Duchess:

I mean, they probably look great, you know?

Host:

And I get it.

Duchess:

Obviously, he's probably knocking one off, but why can't you keep that on your phone?

Duchess:

So Nobody sees it.

Host:

All right, Zip tie.

Duchess:

My guess, he's bragging.

Duchess:

He's bragging a bit.

Host:

So I don't know if this guy took a snapshot of it or not.

Host:

I think.

Host:

Okay, this is what I think happened.

Host:

I think this guy is running around showing this to his.

Host:

Showing it to everybody.

Host:

Probably showed it to the guy that was detailing the truck.

Host:

So then the guy from detail sees it's still in the truck.

Host:

He's like, let me take a little snapshot of this and show to my friends.

Host:

Let me just say something.

Host:

For this thing to be going around for a year and everybody's still sharing.

Duchess:

What's the other thing?

Duchess:

A year.

Host:

They must be some luscious tatas.

Host:

Like I was saying.

Host:

Let me just bring her back up again.

Duchess:

It was a year.

Duchess:

She's very pretty.

Host:

She's a very attractive woman there.

Duchess:

Yeah, she had some lip work done, but maybe.

Duchess:

Well, I'm not taking away.

Duchess:

She's very pretty.

Duchess:

She's very pretty.

Duchess:

I'm not.

Host:

I'm trying to get a spot where she doesn't look like, wait a minute.

Host:

I was almost there.

Host:

No, that's not it.

Host:

Okay, I think that's a good idea.

Duchess:

Just stop it there.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So the whole thing, it's.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

The timeline is weird.

Duchess:

Like, the way she told.

Duchess:

This is weird.

Duchess:

Like, she.

Duchess:

The way she told us, it sounded like it just happened.

Duchess:

And then she's like.

Duchess:

And it's been a year.

Host:

A year.

Duchess:

So it's been a year.

Duchess:

And she just.

Duchess:

Did she just find out?

Host:

She.

Host:

Apparently nothing.

Duchess:

Why are you putting it.

Duchess:

Why are you putting your shit out?

Duchess:

If you're so devastated, why the fuck are you on TikTok?

Duchess:

Well, in your story, she.

Host:

This thing goes on for 12 minutes, and we're not watching 12 months of this.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

Duchess:

No, please.

Host:

All right, so what she wants to do now is she wants to bring charges up on the guy who detailed the car for revenge porn.

Duchess:

Well, it kind of.

Duchess:

Is that a little bit.

Duchess:

Is it?

Host:

I mean, it's not like he sold offline.

Host:

It was in the truck.

Duchess:

It's clearly in the guy's truck.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

It's not like he found it on the ground.

Duchess:

So, like, he had no idea.

Duchess:

I mean, there's a lot of weirdness to this.

Duchess:

I personally, if her husband.

Duchess:

If this is how it went down, her husband should get his ass kicked, because that's fucking unbelievable.

Duchess:

I mean, good on him.

Duchess:

He's got a hot wife.

Duchess:

He's very excited about it, and I guess he's showing her tits off to every.

Duchess:

Or whatever.

Duchess:

She said it was just her boots, I guess, but everybody off the topless pit.

Duchess:

But, like, why would you.

Duchess:

I don't think she.

Duchess:

He showed it to the guy who detailed his car.

Duchess:

Because there's like.

Duchess:

Is there a point where you don't want everybody to see your wife totally naked?

Host:

It depends.

Host:

It depends on who this guy is.

Host:

Maybe he's like, hey, let me show you something.

Host:

Me and the wife were at the anniversary.

Host:

She let me take a picture of her topless.

Host:

Take a look at these cans.

Duchess:

Would you have shown a picture of Kathy?

Host:

No, I would not have shown a picture.

Host:

No, I would not.

Duchess:

Why?

Host:

Because I'm like, the person.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Thank you.

Host:

Okay, here's another thing.

Host:

I have never taken a picture of a girlfriend naked or topless for the simple fact that that way you could.

Host:

I would never do that, because once it's out, it's out.

Host:

I've never ever, in any relationship I've ever been in, decided to take a picture.

Host:

Well, okay, listen.

Host:

Until:

Duchess:

They had Polaroids back in the old days.

Host:

I understand that, but no one would.

Host:

Who's taking Polaroids.

Duchess:

Not for nothing, I've seen the quality of Polaroids.

Duchess:

They're not good.

Duchess:

You're not getting a great selfie with a Polaroid.

Duchess:

If you're lucky, it doesn't smear when it.

Duchess:

When you're, you know, shaking up, shaking that thing out to develop.

Duchess:

They're a mess.

Host:

But I say that, to say this, when I was.

Host:

I was working in the elevator business, and one of the guys I worked with had a picture of his wife in the tub with bubbles kind of placed in an area.

Host:

But you could see the strategically placed.

Host:

You could see the top half of the melons.

Host:

There was no nipple involved.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

It's the cleavage, but no boobies.

Host:

He brings it out and says, hey, take a look at this.

Host:

And I know his wife.

Host:

Like, we've met, we've been out.

Host:

You know what I mean?

Host:

I'm like, I don't want to see that.

Host:

And he's like, why?

Host:

And I'm like, I know her.

Host:

How do I.

Duchess:

That's a little creepy.

Duchess:

But was she pretty?

Host:

Oh, his wife was very attractive.

Duchess:

First of all, he's shown off his wife's the smoke show.

Duchess:

But he didn't show you her naked boobs?

Host:

No.

Duchess:

My guess is he has a picture of them naked, but he didn't show them to you.

Host:

Right.

Host:

We didn't get the Naked ones.

Duchess:

He sees the naked ones.

Duchess:

You get to be jealous.

Host:

How long?

Duchess:

That's what that was about.

Host:

How long?

Host:

And again, I was at the table.

Host:

It was in the morning before we got started.

Host:

There was like five or.

Host:

How long do you think it got all the way through the company that he had a picture of his wife in the.

Host:

In a.

Host:

In a bathtub where you could see.

Duchess:

Oh, probably like within a half an hour.

Duchess:

You guys like wildfire.

Host:

We started.

Host:

We saw the picture at 7:00.

Host:

By:

Host:

That's how fast it went through the.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And I feel bad for her because she probably had no idea, right?

Duchess:

He's like, look at her.

Duchess:

And then like, and now the next company party, everybody's thinking of her in the tub.

Host:

And we only had nextels.

Host:

Like, we didn't have it where you could send stuff, you know, there was no social media back then.

Host:

All right, so it's also different when.

Duchess:

There'S no social media.

Host:

I'm going to ask you this.

Duchess:

You saw it.

Duchess:

You saw it and that was it.

Duchess:

It was burned in your brain.

Host:

What would you do if Paul took a picture of you and it got it?

Host:

I mean, what would happen then?

Duchess:

Well, first of all, I just.

Duchess:

I wouldn't be.

Host:

You had a few glasses of wine, you were making poor decisions.

Host:

It was your anniversary.

Host:

Pulls out a Polaroid and you're sitting there akimbo on the bed, and the next thing you know, he takes a snapshot of it.

Host:

It's tastefully done.

Host:

You look amazing in it.

Host:

It happens to get out.

Host:

Are you mad at the detailer or are you mad at Paul?

Duchess:

No, I'm mad at him, yeah.

Duchess:

Because I would never have done that picture anyway, so.

Duchess:

And especially worse if I was not 100% right.

Duchess:

But my guess is maybe this woman has had pictures taken before.

Duchess:

They might be like, well, it's just my boobs.

Duchess:

Like, she didn't seem that upset about that concept.

Duchess:

So my guess is one of these got out in the wild and that's what she's mad about.

Host:

You know something.

Duchess:

And she should be.

Duchess:

She has every right to be.

Host:

I don't think she's.

Host:

I'll be honest with you, I don't think she's mad that the guy's seen it.

Host:

I think what she's mad about is the women have seen it.

Host:

Like, the women, like her friends have seen this and she looks a little bit on the slutty side, you know?

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

Well, I'm sure In the picture, if it was an anniversary and it was a topless shot, I'm sure there was.

Duchess:

You know.

Host:

So Mike says it already happened.

Host:

I got my email from Paul yesterday.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

For hanging out.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

So I, I feel like there's another component to the story that we're not going to know, I guess.

Host:

But then to go on, then to take a picture, 12 minutes, do a 12 minute story of.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

You know, there's way more details.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

You know, basically you didn't play it.

Host:

But now five minutes in, I'm like, get to the fucking boy.

Host:

Yeah, I need to.

Host:

Come on, let's, you know, like your vagina.

Host:

Let's tighten up this story a little, please.

Host:

Yeah, can we do some Kegels on this story here?

Duchess:

Crazy.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's still shitty.

Duchess:

Like if it went down exactly like she says, her husband's an asshole.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

He's a total asshole for leaving that out.

Duchess:

Because you have faith in the person that you're with and you have.

Duchess:

That's the trust issue.

Duchess:

That's the broken trust.

Duchess:

Like that's, that's, you can't fix that.

Host:

No.

Duchess:

In my opinion.

Host:

Right.

Host:

Like I guess, you know, anytime they ever having sex, after all, you men are sick.

Host:

Paul would never do that.

Host:

I get like the, this is just for entertainment.

Host:

Entertainment purposes.

Host:

This is just a.

Host:

Clearly a scenario.

Host:

That's all.

Host:

A scenario?

Host:

Yes.

Host:

That would be.

Host:

Look, if I was naked and then and my girlfriend took a picture of me and and it got out, I'd be horrified.

Host:

So would, so would everybody that saw it.

Host:

But I would also be horrified.

Duchess:

Stop.

Duchess:

It's, it's the point.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's.

Duchess:

Nobody wants their nakedness out.

Duchess:

Unless that's your business of being naked.

Duchess:

Like that's a thing you do.

Host:

Right?

Duchess:

That's cool.

Duchess:

But like you know, again, trust, it's a big trust violation in my book.

Host:

I just again, I, I, I believe that women again showing their wares, doing these things on social media to get clout.

Host:

Like this British woman, this only fans model who just went and slept through slept with 101 men in a day.

Duchess:

You want to read Lisa's comment?

Host:

Look, I'm stuck out here with these.

Host:

Hold on.

Host:

I'm stuck in here with all these guys in chat talking about big pork and tits and snatch.

Host:

Well again, I get it.

Host:

See, Paul and I married the same women.

Host:

Which os probably about 99.

Host:

Probably is probably.

Host:

Which is probably about now.

Host:

Why am I reading these?

Host:

Please read these.

Host:

I sound like a moron because it's funny.

Duchess:

Yeah, well, not funny.

Duchess:

You sound like a moron.

Duchess:

But it's just funny to have you read the big fucking tits.

Zip Tie:

Don't let the guy that can't read the chat.

Duchess:

Yeah, that's true.

Zip Tie:

Do I have to tell you guys everything?

Host:

Apparently you do.

Duchess:

Apparently, yeah.

Duchess:

Drive by and we'll discuss it.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So you decide that you're going to do this.

Host:

And again, we're in a Twitter DM with a bunch of other podcasts and the guys from the Porn Stash podcast too.

Host:

That's their thing.

Host:

They interview porn actresses and.

Host:

Hold on.

Host:

Hey, Zip tie, you think you can say big fucking tits?

Host:

We're getting requests.

Host:

There you go.

Host:

So I was saying, very pushy.

Host:

Do you guys.

Host:

Because it's not something that I would want to see.

Host:

I don't want to see a girl get railed by a hundred guys.

Host:

I don't want to see even, like.

Duchess:

More than a couple.

Duchess:

After a while, you're like, I'm a.

Host:

One on one person.

Host:

Maybe a, you know, two on one.

Host:

If it's two chicks, one guy that I can, you know.

Host:

Maybe.

Duchess:

But no, two dicks, One chick.

Host:

No, no, no.

Host:

Eiffel Towers.

Host:

No, no.

Host:

And then these guys that do double penetration where their cocks are like.

Host:

Like touching.

Host:

Touching each other.

Host:

And as they penetrate, I'm like, dude, how gay can that be?

Host:

How could you even.

Host:

How do you keep your card when it's up against another man's?

Host:

All right, so anyhow, let me get back.

Duchess:

Never mind.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

Just saying.

Host:

How does that happen?

Host:

I don't understand porn sometimes.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

So after.

Duchess:

Why do you guys like that?

Duchess:

Well, some guy.

Duchess:

Never mind.

Duchess:

Never mind.

Duchess:

We're gonna move past that.

Duchess:

I don't want this chat.

Host:

Light it up.

Host:

No, not really.

Duchess:

It's okay.

Host:

Please make duchess read some of these.

Duchess:

I don't want to read these now.

Host:

I have to go to the chat.

Host:

So I make sure you read some of these.

Duchess:

No, no, go ahead.

Duchess:

So.

Host:

So we go to.

Host:

And the porn stash guy said, yeah, it's not really fun to watch because it's this one girl and there's a bunch of guys in there trying to keep their dick hard so they're in line, like playing with themselves so it can stay hard.

Host:

So they get in there.

Host:

So we have Lily Phillips here.

Host:

And this was after she got done.

Host:

And she was.

Duchess:

This is after she had sex with a hundred guys in how many hours?

Host:

I think it was eight.

Host:

Eight or nine.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

That's a lot of wieners.

Duchess:

I think sometimes, like, feeling so, like robotic, like by then, I think, like the 30th, you know, like when we're getting on a bit, I've got like a routine of like, how we're gonna do this.

Duchess:

And like, it just sometimes you'd like, disassociate and be like, you know, like, it's not like normal at all.

Duchess:

In my head right now, I can think of like five, six guys, 10 guys that I remember, and that's it.

Duchess:

But it's just.

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

It's just weird, isn't it?

Duchess:

Like, if I didn't.

Host:

If I didn't have the videos, I wouldn't have known.

Duchess:

I've done 100, you know, but yeah.

Host:

One cock.

Host:

Ah, ah, ah.

Host:

45 cocks.

Duchess:

Thank you.

Duchess:

Count.

Duchess:

That's.

Duchess:

I find that sad.

Duchess:

I do.

Duchess:

Like, that's not.

Duchess:

I don't understand why you would want to do that.

Duchess:

Because, I mean, physically.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

That's not easy on the body.

Host:

Well, you know, so when she was making.

Host:

She was getting the guys together, right.

Host:

When she was getting a hundred guys together.

Duchess:

God dang it.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

She said, you know, I'll give you a five minute throw in the hay a piece.

Host:

Right.

Host:

Well, I guess after 50 or so, she wanted to cut time down and guys were a little pissed.

Duchess:

I think that was kind of the hard part is like conversing with them and like when they'd kind of be.

Host:

Like, oh, like, we've only had two.

Duchess:

Minutes or three minutes.

Duchess:

And you said five on the message.

Duchess:

Did someone say that to you?

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And obviously just makes feel so bad.

Host:

I'm sorry, I couldn't.

Duchess:

I'm getting free.

Duchess:

You're getting to nail this chick for free.

Duchess:

And you're like, I only have three minutes instead of five.

Duchess:

Well, finish in three or walk out.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Uncomfortable.

Host:

I mean, and everybody.

Duchess:

Dude, you're like the 40th, 50th, 60th guy.

Duchess:

Does it matter?

Duchess:

You get three minutes or five?

Host:

Well, he's been standing there playing with himself in line for like 10 or 15.

Host:

Who knows?

Duchess:

I mean, he wanted to be done quicker.

Duchess:

Wouldn't you want to be if you've been edging yourself for an hour?

Duchess:

Two hours, three hours.

Host:

There's no.

Duchess:

Probably as soon as he touched her, he'd be done.

Host:

I don't.

Host:

Again, who knows?

Duchess:

Gross.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

Duchess:

That's just right.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So Bob's littlest groupie asks, how do you even find hundred guys?

Duchess:

Did she place an ad?

Duchess:

Are these guys medically tested?

Duchess:

Like, do they all.

Duchess:

I'm sure they apply or they Just show up day of, like, hope I get some.

Host:

I'm sure they all wore condoms, right?

Host:

The place must have smelled like.

Duchess:

You don't always get disease from a wiener, you.

Duchess:

It's from a mouth.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

There's blood, there's other fluids.

Duchess:

I get it come out of people.

Host:

Like, I would imagine.

Host:

Again, I would imagine that place smelled like a drag strip.

Host:

There was burning rubber.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Three strokes go.

Host:

You're a three pump chump.

Host:

Three and out.

Duchess:

Yeah, that's.

Duchess:

I don't.

Duchess:

You know, none of that sounds appealing.

Duchess:

Like, not to any.

Duchess:

I would think, to any normal.

Duchess:

And, like, what guy decides you want to be part of that?

Duchess:

Like, you want to be like.

Duchess:

I'm going to stand in line.

Host:

Chat.

Host:

Raise your hand.

Host:

Guys in the chat, raise your hand.

Host:

Who would stand in line?

Duchess:

What, I stand in line for that?

Duchess:

For a chick with a hundred.

Host:

No, that's not my style.

Duchess:

What if.

Duchess:

I mean, maybe if you're the first one, maybe the second, but, like, if you're anything in double digits, do you want that?

Host:

First of all, if there's any camera involved, I'm out.

Host:

You know, there's none of that.

Host:

Next in line uses the.

Host:

Oh, that's true.

Host:

But apparently they're all wearing condoms, so there's no jizz, from what I understand.

Duchess:

Wow.

Duchess:

I don't sure.

Duchess:

Like, do you feel it, like, after a couple.

Host:

You're asking me?

Host:

Like, I've had.

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

Well, I'm thinking it's numb.

Duchess:

Do you even feel anything after 20, 30 guys just pound on you?

Host:

I.

Host:

I don't know.

Duchess:

I mean, I don't think it's anything cinematic.

Duchess:

She's probably just laying there like a rubber doll.

Host:

I imagine that thing looked like a baboon's ass afterwards.

Duchess:

God.

Duchess:

You know, like, when you're out in the heat and you.

Duchess:

If your thighs rub, you get like that chafing.

Host:

Oh, do I.

Duchess:

She must still look like she was on fire.

Duchess:

Yes, she must have literally looked like she was on fire.

Host:

Absolutely.

Duchess:

Because I can't imagine how painful that is.

Host:

Well, Lily recovered because the next day after she, you know, got a sandwich and fluid.

Host:

The next day, here she is.

Duchess:

I spent 14 consecutive hours getting ran.

Host:

Through, and now 14 hours getting run through.

Duchess:

It sounds so attractive.

Duchess:

And she's like, getting run through.

Duchess:

That's hot.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

No, that's just gonna be doing 24, because I'm going to be going for the world record early February next year.

Duchess:

I'm gonna go for a thousand.

Host:

Thousand.

Host:

She's going for.

Duchess:

That's disgusting.

Duchess:

Stop it.

Duchess:

Stop it.

Host:

There's.

Host:

I forget.

Host:

So she's not gonna.

Duchess:

She said that so she'd get more people talking about her.

Host:

Well, she's.

Duchess:

She's not gonna do it.

Host:

She's thrown down the cocklet.

Host:

So like a gauntlet.

Host:

Cock.

Host:

Whatever.

Host:

So.

Host:

But back in the day, Howard Stern used to have this porn chick on.

Host:

Porn star on.

Host:

Her name was Houston, And Houston did 620 guys.

Duchess:

That's gross.

Host:

Yeah, that was the gang bang.

Host:

And then I think that someone else broke her record.

Host:

I don't know what the record is now, but she had so much sex that when she got done, like, her vagina looked like a roast beef sandwich.

Duchess:

Gross.

Host:

So then she goes and gets a labiaplasty, where they go in and they cut off the excess roast beef.

Duchess:

That's just fucking.

Host:

And she had them, like, taxidermied.

Host:

And then she sold them.

Host:

Like, she auctioned off her labia.

Host:

I don't know if anybody remembers this from the Stern show.

Duchess:

That's fucking scary.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

I can't remember what they got for it.

Host:

But that is true.

Duchess:

That's despicable.

Duchess:

That's.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

Duchess:

You are.

Duchess:

You are a very damaged person.

Host:

Yes.

Duchess:

You're doing that.

Duchess:

I get like, okay, I want to be with two guys.

Duchess:

Or I wanted two chicks.

Duchess:

Or like, you want what?

Duchess:

You know, not to yuck someone's yum, to borrow a phrase.

Duchess:

But I don't think you just wake up and be like, I'm going to do a thousand guys.

Duchess:

Like, no, that's not a thing.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

100 guys is still entirely too much.

Duchess:

That's a body count for a very active person for a whole lifetime.

Host:

I know.

Duchess:

And this chick did it in eight, nine hours.

Host:

Well, 14.

Duchess:

14 hours.

Host:

14 hours.

Host:

That's still a lot.

Host:

Take a long day.

Host:

Again, I can't.

Host:

No one.

Duchess:

I don't like working eight hours.

Duchess:

I can't imagine doing that for 14.

Host:

You're supposed to not do podcast math, so.

Host:

Hang on one second.

Host:

So there's 60 minutes in an hour.

Host:

Hang on.

Host:

Alexa, what's 16 times.

Host:

What's 60 times 14?

Host:

I fucked up.

Host:

She's not going to get this.

Duchess:

Eight, 40.

Duchess:

Eight hundred and forty minutes.

Duchess:

Okay, I don't know how to tell you to do math.

Host:

All right, 840.

Host:

So you take 100.

Host:

Alexa, what's 840 divided by 100?

Host:

8.4.

Host:

8.4, right.

Duchess:

840 divided by 100 is 8.4.

Host:

All right, so each guy got 8.4.

Host:

I guess after 50 she started cutting it down to 2.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

So I don't understand how she did 14 hours.

Host:

I think that's right.

Duchess:

Her vagina was on fire, so I'm sure.

Duchess:

Well, and did she, like, get a reward for this?

Duchess:

Like, did she be like, if you do a thousand 100 guys and you can, like, ding the bell at the end, you know, like climbing up, finishing your cancer treatments and thing, you're finished?

Duchess:

Did you get something?

Host:

Yeah, a source.

Host:

A source.

Host:

Snapper is what she got.

Host:

Hold on.

Duchess:

Always the thousand guys that throw their hot dogs in sore.

Host:

Snapper might be the name of the show.

Duchess:

You better write it down because I'm not remembering there.

Duchess:

I don't know how you're comfortable with that.

Duchess:

And let's forget physically, emotionally, like, mentally, that's up.

Host:

I think you got to check out, like, after a certain amount of time.

Duchess:

Well, that's even more disturbing.

Duchess:

You're laying there banging some chick who's just like, in a coma, Right.

Duchess:

I guess that's what some guys.

Host:

Well, she's probably sitting there doing the, you know, the girl noises.

Duchess:

Okay, whatever.

Duchess:

Whatever that happy fucking fake porn noise is.

Duchess:

That can't be.

Duchess:

It probably just piped it in.

Host:

Wait a minute.

Host:

How'd that go?

Duchess:

No, I'm not doing that.

Duchess:

I knew as soon as I did something, I was like, no, don't do that.

Duchess:

No, that was wrong.

Host:

No, there you go.

Duchess:

That works.

Duchess:

That's just about right.

Host:

Like this whole night, the whole time during this.

Duchess:

Can you imagine listening to that?

Duchess:

Like, like the mental abuse of hearing that in the next room and just all day, man.

Host:

Sweat all over you.

Duchess:

Oh, my.

Host:

For.

Duchess:

Yuck.

Host:

Guys.

Host:

You don't even know.

Duchess:

Just.

Host:

Just the cowing off.

Duchess:

The essence of how.

Duchess:

Yeah, how do you have enough towels for that?

Duchess:

The hotel must have been like, son of a.

Duchess:

They gotta bring their own towels.

Duchess:

We don't have enough towels.

Host:

You need more towels.

Host:

Housekeeping.

Duchess:

Look, they only give you so many like.

Duchess:

And I've gone on vacations that, like.

Duchess:

Look, housekeeping isn't going to check in on you until you're gone.

Duchess:

So if you need extra towels, you.

Host:

Got to talk, let us know now.

Duchess:

I can see they're going down the front desk.

Duchess:

Yeah, we need about another 300 washcloths, please.

Host:

Okay, so I want to.

Duchess:

Did she get to pee?

Host:

What's that?

Duchess:

Did she get to pee?

Host:

I.

Duchess:

Like, she'd have to get up and use the bathroom, I guess.

Duchess:

Unless they just.

Host:

Literally.

Host:

Yeah, I would throw one of them off me and Go take a squirt and get right back into it again.

Duchess:

God, that's gross.

Duchess:

Like, this whole thing is so.

Duchess:

It's just disturbing.

Host:

Well, because it's.

Duchess:

This.

Duchess:

So broken.

Host:

The issue.

Host:

The issue that I have is that now it's just like, sex means nothing.

Host:

Towels had so many loads that got the washing machine pregnant.

Host:

That's pretty good.

Host:

All right, so in Michigan today, Or was it yesterday?

Host:

They're busy doing the people's work.

Host:

So here's one of Michigan's representatives, one of their finest.

Host:

One of their finests.

Host:

They're in there and she's discussing what's so important that they have to do.

Host:

So we just passed a slew of.

Duchess:

Bills changing the terminology of prostitution to commercial sexual worker, which is very interesting, because I'm just curious why.

Duchess:

Of course.

Duchess:

And then two, Is this a pathway to legalizing prostitution?

Host:

Pathway to legalized prostitution.

Host:

Now, the only place that I know that prostitution is legal is in Nevada.

Duchess:

Nevada.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So is.

Host:

Should prostitution be legal?

Duchess:

Why?

Duchess:

Well, first of all, why.

Duchess:

I'm curious as to why they changed the name.

Host:

They're changing everything.

Host:

You know, pedophile, minor attractive person.

Host:

Everything has to have three names now.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

You know, like Michael Clark Duncan instead of Joy Reed.

Host:

Everything has to be three names now.

Host:

So in other words.

Host:

Yeah, so they're changing names in that.

Host:

But okay, so here's my.

Host:

My issue right now, because for some reason, there's not a lot of coupling going on.

Host:

All right?

Host:

Oh, and it's only a certain couple counties in Nevada.

Duchess:

Probably Vegas.

Duchess:

Really?

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

Like Reno or.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

I would guess in that area.

Host:

And outside of Vegas.

Host:

Yeah, I remember the Bunny Ranch they had.

Host:

And there's a couple other places.

Duchess:

Not Vegas.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

You can only gamble and do terrible things in Vegas.

Duchess:

But no hookers.

Duchess:

No hookers.

Duchess:

Multiple.

Duchess:

Can you name that?

Duchess:

The episode?

Host:

Multiple hookers?

Host:

I can't say.

Host:

I can.

Host:

Multiple.

Duchess:

You can just say freaking.

Host:

I guess so.

Duchess:

Or effing eff.

Duchess:

How would they flag that, too?

Host:

I don't know.

Duchess:

Bob says only drugs, gambling, and murder are allowed in Vegas.

Duchess:

Murder, Murder, murder, murder.

Duchess:

No sex in the Champagne Room.

Host:

That's not true.

Host:

That's not true at all.

Duchess:

Do you speak from experience?

Host:

I'm not saying.

Host:

I'm not.

Host:

I'm not making it.

Duchess:

I just have a glass of wine.

Host:

Look, I'm just saying that.

Host:

That no sex in the Champagne Room was just saying.

Duchess:

I'm sure that Champagne Room.

Duchess:

You could not shine a black light in there.

Host:

Oh, no.

Host:

It would look like a zebra.

Host:

All right, so anyhow, like one of.

Duchess:

Those Jason, those Pollock paintings, just.

Host:

Yeah, it would.

Duchess:

Oh, I am using myself.

Host:

It looks like a white paint can exploded in there.

Duchess:

Yick.

Duchess:

All right, gross.

Host:

I'm wondering, if prostitution shouldn't be legal, why not legal.

Host:

Legalize it.

Host:

If you.

Host:

Then what you do is you can license it, the woman can be tested, it can be safer.

Duchess:

So it'll be managed by the government.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

Rules in there would be.

Host:

Yes, there would be.

Host:

It would be managed by the government.

Host:

It'd be like a pussy tax is.

Duchess:

I mean, they're fucking us already, so why not?

Host:

I'm just saying it would make it safer.

Host:

And not only safer for.

Host:

More safer for the woman than the guys, you know, there would be.

Duchess:

There'd be laws to protect them.

Host:

Yes, yes.

Duchess:

If they got raped or attacked out in the streets by people.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

Because those laws are great, too.

Host:

Well, I mean, so I saw something today and I said, my God, that's.

Host:

I mean, unfortunate that this had to be invented.

Host:

It's legal in Canada, too.

Host:

Oh, well, then it's a good idea.

Host:

There you go.

Duchess:

No Justin Trudeau.

Duchess:

There you go.

Duchess:

Thank you.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So in Africa, the raping is so rampant, it's awful that they don't know.

Host:

So someone, again, people, they see a problem, they make a solution.

Host:

So what they have is, it's an anti rape product for women.

Host:

So what this thing is here, it is called the Rapex.

Host:

And what you do is you insert this in the woman's vagina and it's like a plastic cup that has like, I guess, barbs in teeth.

Host:

Teeth.

Duchess:

Teeth, essentially.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So if a guy goes to rape her, once he inserts his penis into this thing, it hooks him like a fish.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

And then he pulls it out.

Host:

And then the only way to get it off of him is either to cut it off to go to a doctor or something like that.

Host:

And so I'm thinking to myself, yeah, this is.

Host:

Oh, here it is.

Host:

Rape has become an epidemic in South Africa.

Host:

So medical technicians developed a product for a woman to fight back.

Host:

A rape victim telling her, I can't read this.

Duchess:

I can.

Duchess:

So the.

Duchess:

The technician said she had never forgotten a rape victim, telling her, forlornly, if I only had teeth down there.

Duchess:

So she created this product she called Rape X.

Duchess:

And basically it resembles a tube with barbs inside.

Duchess:

And then the woman inserts it like a tampon.

Duchess:

And then any man who tries to rape that woman, he impales himself on it.

Duchess:

So he'll go in, but when he pulls back, that's where the.

Duchess:

The barbs grip it and it up and then.

Duchess:

So in order for that to have to be removed, he has to go to the emergency room.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

And some critics say this has been evil.

Duchess:

The punishment.

Duchess:

Rape you.

Host:

Yes.

Duchess:

Right now I can see where some women, you know, might be up enough to use that to.

Duchess:

With their man.

Host:

Oh, like.

Duchess:

Oh, like some cheating spouse.

Host:

I never thought of that.

Duchess:

I would.

Duchess:

I would not put it past a psychopath.

Host:

You bitches.

Duchess:

Or.

Duchess:

Hang on.

Duchess:

Or another man putting it somewhere in his prison wallet, perhaps.

Duchess:

And it works probably anywhere you stick it, I would guess.

Duchess:

And Bob says that's why you always check the oil with a finger.

Host:

Look at Bob.

Host:

Bob's always thinking, you're so smart, Bob.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Always planning.

Duchess:

He's thinking alternates.

Duchess:

And.

Duchess:

And I would guess they probably would find a way to take it off at home.

Duchess:

But my guess is you'd have to cut that off.

Duchess:

And it probably would hurt.

Host:

I would imagine it would hurt.

Duchess:

I would guess it'd probably be like getting a fish and barb.

Duchess:

Because the barbs sometimes have those other.

Duchess:

Like if the hook has the extra bar, you know, you've probably gotten hooked because you.

Duchess:

You fish.

Duchess:

So you know what it's like, you know, just getting hooked in the finger or face or wherever.

Host:

Can I tell you.

Host:

Can I tell a story about this?

Duchess:

Absolutely.

Duchess:

You have to have one.

Host:

So me, my grandfather and my father are down in the Florida Keys, and we're fishing.

Host:

I'm 12 years old.

Host:

My grandfather.

Host:

I'm not even paying attention, right?

Host:

My grandfather takes the fishing pole, goes back like this.

Host:

The hook catches me, and he goes, oh, no.

Duchess:

So he went back, hooked you, and.

Host:

Hooked me, and then.

Host:

And set that thing in the back of my thigh.

Host:

I scream, oh, my God.

Host:

Like a.

Duchess:

I probably hurt like a.

Host:

They.

Host:

My dad had to pull it out with a pair of pliers.

Duchess:

Now, did he have to pull.

Duchess:

Did he have to cut it and pull it through, or did he unhook it back?

Host:

No, because it went into the meaty part of the thigh.

Host:

There was no way to pull it through.

Host:

It was stuck in there.

Host:

So he just said to me, and I'll never.

Host:

He gave me something to bite down on.

Duchess:

Are you kidding?

Host:

No.

Host:

And he's like, this is going to hurt.

Host:

He says, I'll try to do it as fast as I can.

Host:

He grabbed it and he yanked it out.

Duchess:

Did you see white?

Duchess:

Like, everything white went.

Host:

I think I passed out.

Host:

I don't remember.

Host:

But I'll tell you something.

Duchess:

I don't remember when I Woke up.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So when.

Host:

So then you think we'd stop fishing?

Host:

Nah, we just put a band aid on it.

Duchess:

You're fine.

Host:

We didn't even put a bandaid.

Host:

I took a napkin and said, hold it on here till it stops bleeding and then.

Duchess:

Suck it up.

Duchess:

Because, you know.

Duchess:

Because those boomer parents or those.

Duchess:

What they call them.

Duchess:

Well, you probably use the forgotten generation parents, so.

Duchess:

Because you're the boomer.

Duchess:

So.

Host:

Yeah, I've got a couple in my.

Duchess:

Not a lure.

Host:

Oh, I got a couple.

Duchess:

I remember hooking one in my finger, like a very tiny one.

Duchess:

And it hurt all so bad.

Host:

Yeah, I got a couple on the finger.

Host:

When you're trying to take.

Host:

To grab it.

Host:

You catch it.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

And that was the moment that John entered manhood.

Duchess:

I bet your balls dropped.

Duchess:

Your voice changed everything.

Duchess:

John went through puberty in 10 seconds.

Host:

Probably pissed myself.

Duchess:

I don't.

Duchess:

I would have.

Duchess:

That sounds horrific.

Host:

I can still hear the noise.

Host:

And I was 12, so that was 50.

Duchess:

Hooked or ripped out?

Host:

Both.

Host:

I've heard it.

Host:

I felt it.

Host:

That.

Host:

I can hear the noise when it went.

Host:

Because when he did that again, he's got his finger on this thing.

Host:

So he's.

Host:

You know when you're casting, you got your finger on the bell.

Host:

So he's hold my grandfather.

Host:

He's holding it like this.

Host:

And he.

Host:

And it went in like this.

Host:

And he's like, what the hell?

Host:

He turned around and I'm like screaming, tugging on it.

Duchess:

And you're like, motherfucker.

Host:

That's like, oh, for Christ's sake, Pop.

Host:

You got.

Duchess:

God damn it.

Duchess:

You hooked John.

Duchess:

Ruined our day.

Duchess:

You think we're going.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

You think we're going to go in?

Host:

No, no.

Host:

We fish for the rest of.

Duchess:

We're already on the boat.

Duchess:

It.

Duchess:

We're going out.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

That's horrible.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

I don't even know what bait he was using.

Host:

I think we're using shrimp.

Host:

So whatever was on there, whatever fish he caught, all that bacteria right into the leg.

Duchess:

That's good for you.

Host:

It's fine.

Host:

No big deal.

Host:

He's got a very robust.

Host:

What's that called when you don't.

Host:

When you.

Host:

Nothing bothers you.

Host:

Immune system.

Host:

He has a very robust immune system.

Host:

He'll be fine.

Duchess:

She's got shrimp swimming through his face.

Duchess:

A little brine shrimp, like cooking through.

Host:

Wonder.

Host:

I'm alive.

Duchess:

I can't.

Duchess:

That's.

Duchess:

I would.

Duchess:

No, that's.

Duchess:

I'm not.

Duchess:

I'm not stoic like that.

Duchess:

Bob wants to know, did you rub Dirt on it.

Host:

There was no dirt.

Duchess:

No.

Host:

Oh, you know what?

Duchess:

Just seawater.

Host:

I'll tell you what.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

You know what they did?

Host:

They took rags with seawater on it and put it up there and said, the salt.

Host:

The salt water is good for it.

Host:

It'll help.

Duchess:

It's healing.

Duchess:

It's healing.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

My father, Sparky, wants to know, does hair grow around the spot?

Host:

You know, I'm.

Host:

You know, the whole time I'm sitting here, I'm rubbing, rubbing it, rubbing where it was.

Host:

I knew exactly where it was.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Did you get some ghost pain when we're talking about it?

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

No, no ghost pain.

Host:

But I.

Host:

Yeah, that's.

Host:

It's just the way it is.

Host:

All right, here we go.

Duchess:

Changing the subject now.

Duchess:

I gotta throw this one in.

Duchess:

Bud Bugger says, John caught mermaids.

Host:

Somebody was.

Host:

Hang on a second.

Host:

I have a friend that listens to the show and they text me.

Host:

And they text me something about Budweger and it made me laugh out loud.

Host:

Hang on a second.

Host:

Let me see where this is.

Host:

Oh, my God.

Host:

I was talking about.

Host:

Oh.

Host:

They asked me what was going to be on the show tonight and what topics and.

Duchess:

Oh, they get like a sneak preview.

Host:

Right.

Host:

You know, So I gave them the topics.

Host:

Oh, here it is.

Host:

So they text me back and says, okay, well, Buzzy Fuddgrubber will be very happy about those topics.

Host:

Buzzy Fudd Grubber.

Host:

Buzzy Fudd Grubber.

Host:

Oh, Buzzy Fudd Grubber.

Duchess:

That's even better.

Host:

Might be the title of this episode.

Duchess:

You have to change your name now.

Duchess:

I laugh so hard because I'm popular now.

Host:

Buzzy Grub Bugger.

Duchess:

He says they get a sneak preview, but Duchess does not.

Duchess:

I do.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

I'm.

Duchess:

I do get a little bit of.

Duchess:

I get a heads up.

Duchess:

John and I have a note that we share.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

But sometimes.

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

Sometimes John.

Host:

Oh, yeah, there's always.

Host:

I always slip one in there that she doesn't know because I want the rear raw.

Duchess:

Slips one in there.

Host:

I just slip like.

Host:

Like the.

Host:

One of the.

Host:

One of the 100.

Duchess:

Like number 100, right?

Host:

Yeah, 100.

Host:

Slide right in there.

Host:

Like, doesn't even notice.

Duchess:

Oh, no.

Duchess:

Oh, dear.

Host:

Hang on a second.

Host:

See if I.

Host:

Yeah, here it is right here.

Host:

Here's the note.

Host:

See, there it is.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

That's the note I send her.

Host:

This is it.

Host:

It's all the topics.

Duchess:

Well, now everybody knows.

Host:

Yep.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

All right.

Host:

Where was I?

Host:

Oh, yeah.

Duchess:

Changing the subject now.

Host:

A.

Duchess:

Changing the subject now, I like them both.

Host:

A man jailed for poisoning his woman with abortion drugs.

Duchess:

Despicable.

Duchess:

Despicable.

Host:

A man has been jailed for 12 years for sexually assaulting a pregnant woman and giving her medication to cause a miscarriage.

Host:

Prosecutor said Stuart Warblee administered the drugs in a glass of orange juice.

Host:

And when the victim was blindfolded under the disguise of having kinky sex, you must have known that this was dangerous for the victim.

Host:

The judge said she spoke on.

Host:

Spoke.

Host:

The woman spoke of the betrayal and pain and a strong possibility that she may never be able to have children again.

Host:

So this guy, she gets pregnant, he doesn't want her to have the baby.

Host:

He was.

Host:

I mean, she was 15 weeks.

Host:

15 weeks right on the line.

Duchess:

That's close to.

Host:

He mixed these pills in the orange juice, gave it to her.

Host:

Within 24 hours, she had a violent miscarriage, had to go to the hospital.

Host:

They found that she had the drugs in her system, and they arrested him for sexual.

Host:

Could that be also murder if she.

Duchess:

Wanted to have the baby?

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Wouldn't that be murder?

Duchess:

Well, that I don't know, because that's the fine line of.

Duchess:

Is it abortion if you wanted to keep it?

Duchess:

Is it murder if you don't want to keep it?

Duchess:

Is it murder?

Host:

It's abortion if you want to keep it.

Host:

It's murder if you don't want to keep it.

Host:

It's abortion.

Duchess:

It's abortion.

Duchess:

So that's a very double standard, I think.

Duchess:

But I.

Duchess:

So did he just.

Duchess:

He just mixed it into her orange juice?

Host:

Just took the pills, crushed it up, mixed it in her orange juice?

Duchess:

What?

Duchess:

That's so calculated.

Duchess:

That is so calculated.

Duchess:

That's really scary.

Host:

Scary.

Duchess:

It's smart.

Host:

What's.

Host:

What's worse?

Duchess:

He's in jail for 12 years.

Host:

Yeah, it's.

Host:

What's worse than that?

Host:

Or child support for 18 to 20?

Host:

I'm not.

Host:

It's not me.

Host:

I'm just thinking what Steward would think of.

Host:

Is that.

Host:

What his name was?

Duchess:

Stuart?

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Well, there's a.

Duchess:

Look, there was a little more to the story because the question was, how did he get those drugs?

Duchess:

And there was a woman.

Host:

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Duchess:

Woke up because basically the.

Duchess:

I saw it.

Host:

Hang on.

Duchess:

Dang it.

Duchess:

It was.

Host:

He got a friend of his to.

Duchess:

Pose as the woman who wanted an abortion.

Host:

Who wanted abortion pillow.

Host:

And he got.

Host:

She got the prescription form.

Host:

He got the pills.

Host:

So now is she a co.

Host:

Conspirator?

Host:

I don't know if she knew it or not.

Duchess:

Well, but why would you Ask a woman friend.

Host:

That's true.

Duchess:

He goes, hey, can you pretend you're pregnant and get the abortion pill for me?

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And he's, why else?

Duchess:

So, I mean, I kind, I think she was like, I didn't know.

Duchess:

But you probably.

Duchess:

Why would, he wouldn't take it.

Duchess:

He would have, A woman would have to take it.

Duchess:

So unless he gave her some cock and bull story about this whole, like, oh, it's for a friend.

Duchess:

But I, I, I think, I don't know how much accountability.

Duchess:

And this I think was also in London, so.

Duchess:

Because in London, apparently if you're under a certain amount of time, you can just call them up, be like, yeah, I had sex, I need an abortion pill.

Duchess:

And the doctor goes, all right, we chatted a bit.

Duchess:

Here's, here's your prescription.

Duchess:

You don't have to do any other exams other than just a call, which is interesting.

Duchess:

But the fact that he asked this woman to do it and she did fulfilled the pills.

Duchess:

So it was already, it's, now it's even sneakier because now you've involved a co conspirator.

Host:

This thing's supposed to be the morning after pill.

Host:

They say in, in England you can take it up to 10 weeks pregnant.

Host:

10 weeks.

Host:

I, I can't, I can't imagine that once you take this pill that you, you know, this is a, like, I would imagine it, it, it makes you sick and as sick as, like really.

Duchess:

Ill.

Duchess:

No, it's not, it's not.

Duchess:

Yeah, well, it causes you to miscarry.

Duchess:

So, like you're bleeding, it's cramp, it's not a comfortable process.

Duchess:

And if you're pregnant and you want to be pregnant emotionally and mental, like, mentally, that's awful.

Duchess:

Like, I can't imagine what she went through.

Duchess:

And the fact that she, you know, like, you know, again, that whole shoulda would have, could have used protection.

Duchess:

The, the, the point is he gave her medication that he, he slipped her medication.

Duchess:

So whether it was he roofied her, he gave her drugs to make her lose a baby.

Duchess:

Like, they're all bad.

Duchess:

That's all bad.

Duchess:

There's no good part of that.

Host:

Oh, love, I can't have an abortion.

Host:

I love you too much.

Host:

I, I want to raise this baby with you.

Duchess:

And he's like, here, drink up your orange juice.

Duchess:

So you're nice and strong.

Host:

Listen, I know, I know I tell you I love you and everything, but, you know, you're just a cum dumpster and, you know, I'm just dumping loads until I could find somebody else.

Duchess:

He Thought she would just have an abortion in the toilet and flush it, and that's the end of it, right?

Duchess:

Oh, well, whoop de do.

Duchess:

But she went to the hospital.

Host:

I just had an abortion.

Host:

All right.

Host:

Can I tell another story?

Host:

I've never told this.

Host:

I don't think I've ever told this story before.

Duchess:

Yes.

Host:

So I used to edit a podcast.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

And I'm.

Host:

I'm not going to say the name of the podcast.

Host:

This was a story.

Host:

When you're an editor, sometimes people will say stuff, and you're like, you don't agree with them and all, but it's not your job.

Host:

Your job is to make them sound good.

Host:

And so it's not your job.

Host:

So the woman is telling a story.

Host:

So she was pregnant, and she was at work, and she started bleeding.

Host:

So she goes into the bathroom, and as she goes into the bathroom, she aborts the baby.

Host:

Now, she must have been.

Host:

I don't know how long.

Host:

I'll tell you how long it was, because after she aborts this baby, she freaks out.

Host:

She don't know what to do.

Host:

So she sits in there.

Host:

She pulls the baby out of the toilet, and she's sitting there crying, holding the baby because she's distraught.

Host:

That's not the worst part.

Host:

The worst part is what happened next.

Host:

She took the child, put it back in the toilet, and tried to flush it down the toilet.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

Host:

It stopped.

Host:

Up the toilet, of course.

Host:

So she's in there with a plunger, trying to plunge this baby down through the toilet.

Host:

And when someone came in and saw the mess, called the police because it.

Duchess:

Looked like a fucking murder scene.

Host:

I'm horrified.

Host:

As I'm editing this thing, I'm horrified.

Host:

Like, I stopped editing.

Host:

Now I'm just listening.

Host:

I'm like, what the.

Host:

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Host:

Plunging it with a plunger, trying to get it to go down the toilet, crying and screaming, large.

Duchess:

That's large.

Host:

That's got to be a big baby.

Duchess:

That's definitely, like, second trimester baby.

Host:

Yeah, maybe third, maybe.

Duchess:

Depends on.

Duchess:

I don't know if she thought she could flush, but still, I hope that woman got the help she needs.

Host:

Oh, sure.

Duchess:

Mentally.

Duchess:

Well, like I said, you're not in a good spot.

Host:

I was one of the.

Duchess:

Did she want the baby?

Duchess:

Like, did you say.

Host:

Yeah, she was.

Host:

Yes.

Duchess:

She was happy to be pregnant and decided.

Host:

And then she just.

Host:

I guess she just lost her.

Host:

And didn't know what to do with it.

Host:

Didn't want to bring it out, didn't want to say anything.

Duchess:

Then well, how do you want out?

Host:

Like, you're all full of.

Host:

You know, you're all wet, and now you're not pregnant anymore.

Host:

And I'm sure there's, like a terrible umbilical cord hanging down your leg.

Host:

If I would in my story, there is at least.

Host:

I don't know.

Duchess:

I can't read any of these comments.

Duchess:

These are the most horrific things.

Host:

Come on.

Duchess:

All y'all are.

Duchess:

Oh, God.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

Well, to start off in the beginning, Bob says your job is to make them sound good, not smart.

Host:

There you go.

Host:

That's true.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And they just go downhill from there.

Duchess:

Okay, so there you go.

Duchess:

Dinner episode.

Duchess:

Dean says she ate it.

Host:

Oh, well, you know, some ladies do that.

Host:

They eat the placenta.

Host:

Yes.

Host:

You hear this?

Duchess:

I don't like chewy bits of steak.

Duchess:

I can't even imagine munching on a placenta cocktail or anything like.

Duchess:

That's horrifying.

Host:

Has you.

Host:

Well, have you ever seen a placenta?

Host:

I've seen a couple.

Duchess:

I've been.

Duchess:

I've been there.

Duchess:

I had a couple.

Host:

Yeah, I.

Host:

I've seen them.

Duchess:

No, it's.

Duchess:

It's.

Host:

It looks like liver and it's not.

Host:

It's not a good look.

Duchess:

Yeah, I wouldn't accord.

Host:

But they say it's like it's.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

And what they do, some women.

Duchess:

Cord blood's good.

Host:

They take it.

Host:

They take it and they freeze, dry it and put it in capsules and they take it as a capsule or candy.

Host:

Arizona bay placenta.

Duchess:

I can see placenta in their candy.

Duchess:

We're disclaimering that right there.

Duchess:

I'm not getting a cease at the cyst or something for that.

Duchess:

Hells no.

Duchess:

All right, bud.

Duchess:

Bugger.

Duchess:

Baby was a floater.

Duchess:

Bob with.

Duchess:

You gotta cut it up first, Right?

Host:

You do.

Host:

You should pull the head off in the arms and then flush them and then the legs, and then you can flush the torso down.

Host:

Well, you know what?

Duchess:

She was destroyed if she sat there and disassembled it.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

She didn't.

Duchess:

That's even more.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

Plunging is pretty bent.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

No, all of that.

Duchess:

Lisa says, roto Rooter.

Host:

That's the name.

Host:

And away goes the baby down the drain.

Host:

Roto Rooter.

Host:

You gotta snake a second trimester baby.

Host:

You don't plunge it again.

Host:

See, you guys are thinking.

Host:

I understand that.

Duchess:

Awful.

Host:

I get it.

Duchess:

Mike Pelarito says the baby went down the plumbing and became Mario.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Not his best work.

Host:

I had a Garbage Pail Kid Card 1.

Host:

I get it.

Duchess:

She didn't lose her she lost her baby.

Host:

I get it.

Host:

All right.

Duchess:

There you go.

Duchess:

Lisa with.

Duchess:

You make a smoothie.

Host:

Oh, my God.

Host:

You make a placenta smoothie high in protein.

Host:

I would imagine it is.

Host:

Whatever.

Host:

Well, you know, dogs eat it, right?

Host:

When the dog has a puppy, it licks.

Host:

It eats the placenta and all that.

Duchess:

They're dog.

Duchess:

They're dogs.

Duchess:

The dogs.

Duchess:

That's what they do.

Duchess:

They dogs, they eat their own.

Host:

Well, that's true, too.

Duchess:

Again, I don't like chewy steak.

Duchess:

I could not eat.

Host:

What?

Host:

What do you mean?

Host:

You get your steak well done.

Duchess:

No, I just don't like the fat.

Duchess:

Like, I get like a.

Duchess:

I get like a filet mignon.

Duchess:

Cuz I don't like the.

Duchess:

I don't.

Duchess:

I can't.

Duchess:

I don't know how people eat prime rib.

Host:

It's the fat's the best part.

Host:

That's where the flavor is.

Duchess:

Chewy.

Host:

Eat the fat first.

Host:

Love the fat.

Host:

You don't eat steak fat.

Host:

Steak fat.

Host:

Oh, it's amazing.

Host:

Especially prime rib.

Host:

Love a good piece of steak fat.

Duchess:

I can't even look at prime rib.

Host:

It's just salt.

Duchess:

It big.

Host:

Oh, it's so good.

Host:

No, you know what?

Duchess:

Well, filet mignon, nice and clean.

Duchess:

I get it tender.

Duchess:

I don't.

Duchess:

Okay, Dean says eat those stem cells.

Duchess:

Okay, we're good.

Duchess:

Change in the subject, please.

Duchess:

Change in the subject now.

Host:

All right.

Host:

This.

Host:

This right here.

Host:

This sent people over the edge.

Host:

Wait a minute.

Host:

What just happened?

Duchess:

And I crunched my.

Host:

I'm sorry.

Host:

Here it goes.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

Why didn't it go.

Host:

Oh, I'm sorry.

Host:

It's my fault.

Duchess:

It's okay.

Host:

Operator error.

Host:

Here we go.

Host:

President Trump, Person of the Year, Time magazine.

Host:

The left went insane.

Host:

Oh, my God.

Duchess:

Somebody call Rachel.

Duchess:

Rachel Maddow.

Host:

And you know who was the worst?

Host:

Where is it?

Host:

Damn it.

Host:

I see.

Host:

I should have had this.

Host:

I'm.

Host:

I'm sorry.

Host:

Here.

Host:

I'm working here.

Host:

I'm working here.

Duchess:

Is it Joy Reed?

Host:

No, it's not Joy Reed.

Host:

It's that other bitter fruit, Don Lemon.

Host:

Yes, but I can't find.

Host:

I know it's here somewhere.

Host:

I had it and lemon.

Host:

Ah, obviously.

Host:

It's under bitter fruit.

Host:

Upset over Trump.

Host:

Here we go.

John Jamingo:

Okay, now, if they wanted to make.

Host:

Someone person of the year, it's not you.

Host:

They would have made someone who.

Host:

And my God.

Host:

My God.

Host:

I'm sure he loves this.

Host:

Right?

Host:

If they want to make someone person of the year.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

They could have done it to.

Host:

With any person.

Host:

People.

Host:

They could have done it to someone who actually stood for democracy, who stands for democracy in the country.

Host:

So you think he doesn't stand for democracy?

Host:

He does stand for democracy.

Host:

What he doesn't stand for is bureaucracy.

Duchess:

Well, you know, it would be fun.

Duchess:

It would be really cool if we could hear Don Lemon talk about this on the news.

Duchess:

Oh, oh, wait, he doesn't have a show.

Duchess:

Oh, he used to record from a fucking coffee shopper's kitchen.

Duchess:

Something.

Duchess:

Oh, sorry.

Host:

Sorry.

Duchess:

He's just a bitter old brute.

Host:

Bitter fruit.

Duchess:

Bitter old Lemon.

Host:

Now, you think about what encompasses person of the Year.

John Jamingo:

Just because you are elected President of.

Host:

The United States does not mean that you should be person of the Year.

Host:

What?

Host:

Time magazine.

Host:

What are you doing?

Host:

All right, let's review.

Duchess:

Well, they're sucking his dick is what they're doing.

Host:

All right, you.

Host:

You ran for president after your.

Host:

ection was stolen from you in:

Host:

They.

Host:

They shot at you.

Host:

They tried to put you in jail twice, right?

Host:

They.

Host:

They trumped up charges.

Host:

Not more than twice.

Host:

There was.

Host:

How many?

Host:

I.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

There was 90 something counts against him in.

Host:

In three different or four different states.

Host:

All right, they tried to shoot him at once, but twice.

Duchess:

What?

Duchess:

I just said twice.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

And they go through all that, and he still ends up.

Host:

Not only does he win the electoral college, all seven of the swing states, and the popular vote, if that's not the person of the Year, I can't wait to hear what this.

Duchess:

Well, Dylan Mulvaney was person of the Year last year.

Host:

Oh, my God.

Host:

No way.

Duchess:

Is that correct?

Host:

Please, not.

Host:

I don't even know.

Host:

All right, let's listen.

Duchess:

Says that Don Lemon's the mop boy.

Host:

For the 100 person gang bangs.

Host:

Oh, yeah, he's the fluffer.

Host:

Let me ask you, Time magazine, what do you say to the women who I guess still read Time magazine or the women who are time 100 thing or something, which.

Host:

You know.

Host:

What about the women who are on that list?

Duchess:

What about that?

Host:

I'm sure some of them will have had dealt with issues that women have to deal with, like discrimination in the workplace.

Host:

Sa.

Host:

All kinds of things.

Host:

All right, so he says.

Duchess:

Or hang on.

Duchess:

Or supporting men who claim they're women and get nominated for woman of the Year over actual women.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

Do you think.

Duchess:

You think maybe that, too?

Duchess:

Maybe that's why Trump 1, he has.

Host:

A woman, a chief of staff.

Host:

First time it's ever been done.

Duchess:

He's obviously a misogynist.

Host:

He's an.

Host:

He's named a woman to the.

Host:

To be ambassador of Greece.

Host:

He.

Host:

He's trying to.

Duchess:

Is that that Guilfoyle?

Host:

Yes.

Host:

Yeah, well, we had to get her out of the country because he's got a smoke show now.

Host:

Yeah, dad.

Host:

Got to get her out of the country.

Host:

All right, I'll make her.

Duchess:

Greece sounds good.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

He's also.

Host:

Tulsi Gabbard is going to be part of his administration.

Host:

It's not like the guy doesn't.

Duchess:

Who's the secretary?

Duchess:

The attorney general.

Host:

He also.

Duchess:

Florida.

Host:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Host:

That's right.

Host:

The attorney general was.

Host:

The woman from Florida was the attorney general.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

All these women he's got in his administration.

Duchess:

McMahon should bring all the wrestlers in, right?

Host:

I mean.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

All these women.

Host:

What's this guy talking again?

Host:

You lion.

Duchess:

Oh, you know who he just brought on was.

Duchess:

I'm so bummed he did it.

Duchess:

That Carrie.

Duchess:

What's her.

Host:

Oh, Carrie Lake.

Host:

She's the ambassador of Mexico, isn't she?

Duchess:

No, she's gonna be the head of, like, the People's Voice, something.

Host:

Oh, okay.

Duchess:

Because she was a newscaster.

Duchess:

She knows how to talk.

Host:

Right.

Host:

We'll give her something.

Host:

Just shut her the up.

Duchess:

So she's on our side.

Host:

Right.

Host:

Again, I don't understand why Trump is supposed to be this anti woman person.

Host:

It makes no sense.

Host:

You're just lying.

Host:

You're gaslighting people.

Duchess:

Yep.

Host:

You have someone on the COVID of your magazine who is an adjudicated assaulter.

Host:

Who.

Host:

Who did he assault?

Host:

Oh, he assaulted that one stupid lady that made up that story about being assaulted in the.

Duchess:

In the fitting room.

Host:

In the fitting room.

Host:

And it was right out of law.

Host:

And ordered an episode of Law and Order.

Host:

It was right out of the.

Host:

You know.

Host:

So that's the only one that I know that has come up now.

Host:

Is he.

Host:

Isn't he adulterer?

Host:

Yeah, okay, he's an adulterer.

Host:

Get that.

Host:

That says.

Host:

But I mean, not an assaulter.

Duchess:

That's not.

Duchess:

That's not my problem.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

That's.

Duchess:

That's his wife.

Host:

That's his wife's problem.

Host:

What do.

Host:

Yeah, he's not.

Host:

He hasn't assaulted anybody.

Host:

That crazy chick that.

Host:

That come up with that stupid story.

Host:

That's one.

Host:

You have someone who inspired an insurrection.

Host:

You have someone who.

Host:

Again, he's never been charged with insurrection.

Host:

He had a rally.

Host:

And I don't know if you heard this today, but they found out that they had a bunch of FBI people in the crowd that were dressed to.

Duchess:

How many were out there?

Host:

Yeah, they wouldn't say.

Duchess:

There were six, but there was way More?

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

And they also went into the Capitol.

Host:

So who did this?

Host:

Who incited their insurrection?

Host:

And here's another thing, you bitter fruit.

Host:

Here's another thing.

Host:

When Nancy Pelosi had a chance to bring in a national, they wanted something like this.

Host:

They also had two pipe bombs that were planted by the DNC and the rnc that if this thing didn't happen, they probably were going to use those as an insurrection.

Host:

But when that riot started, like Happy days are here again, we don't even need the pipe bombs.

Host:

The story went out and then all of a sudden, nobody knows anything about the pipe bombs.

Duchess:

It's amazing, right?

Duchess:

Everything went oops.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

So again, pipe bombs.

Duchess:

What?

Host:

Yeah, Everybody forgets.

Host:

Everybody's got sure memories.

Host:

Like me out a doubt.

Host:

The evidence is there.

Host:

Try to overturn a free and fair election.

Host:

You had someone who had multiple criminal counts and found guilty on multiple criminal counts.

Host:

Yeah, we'll see how long that last.

Host:

That.

Host:

That's another shame of a trial they had.

Duchess:

Everything's getting dropped.

Duchess:

None of it's going to stick.

Host:

So make up.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Sparky says the Democrats did it and they bust in Antifa and BLM along with ladders and sledgehammers.

Host:

There you go.

Duchess:

They had pictures and they bust them to rallies.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

As well.

Host:

They had pictures of Antifa changing out of their blacks into their red hats and everything so they could go start shit.

Host:

What are we, stupid here?

Host:

Stop pissing in my ear and telling.

Duchess:

Me it's raining morons.

Host:

What are we, a fucking moron?

Duchess:

Do something better.

Host:

Do something better.

Host:

If you can't Democrats, you can't.

Duchess:

You can't.

Host:

Yeah, join my team.

Duchess:

Join what?

Duchess:

A fruit team.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

And you name them Person of the year.

John Jamingo:

Is this a joke?

Host:

Did we get something wrong?

Host:

Did someone scam us?

John Jamingo:

Are we.

Host:

Is this.

Host:

Are we sure I'm about this, Producers.

Host:

Yeah, we're sure.

Duchess:

He's so desperate.

Host:

There is a convicted felon on the COVID of Time magazine.

Host:

Is the person of the year that they.

Host:

They convicted him saying convicted, so they could say convicted felon.

Host:

He's not a convicted felon until he's charged.

Host:

Until he's sentenced.

Host:

He hasn't been sentenced yet.

Host:

Shut the up.

Host:

This aggravates the out of me.

Duchess:

Don Lemon is trying to stay relevant and he thinks if he goes on social media on his Blue sky guy or whatever the that was, that people talk about him.

Duchess:

So we did.

Duchess:

And he's.

Duchess:

Nobody's still hiring him, so it doesn't matter.

Host:

Nobody wants him.

Duchess:

But hey, join.

Duchess:

Join his team.

Duchess:

Hey, someone apply.

Duchess:

See what it is.

Host:

You know what Trump did today?

Host:

Trump went to the New York Stock Exchange and he rang the bell.

Duchess:

Did he ding the bell?

Host:

There he is.

Host:

There's old Donnie.

Duchess:

Ding, ding, ding.

Host:

Did it.

Duchess:

There's Donnie, Melania.

Duchess:

Oh, Tiffany's over there.

Host:

Tiffany's there.

Duchess:

Is that lara.

Duchess:

Oh, and J.D.

Duchess:

vance.

Host:

J.D.

Host:

vance is there.

Host:

They know they're all going to be making money now.

Duchess:

They should have played the thing.

Host:

I think they start chant.

Host:

Hold on, here comes USA hanging.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

The people are behind this.

Host:

The normal people are behind this.

Host:

Trump is not the guy.

Host:

You know, like every.

Host:

Like the first time.

Host:

I'm just saying that nobody thought this was going to happen now.

Host:

Like, this was a clear victory.

Host:

People have had enough shit out of the Democrats, especially with Biden.

Duchess:

This could not have gotten any clearer.

Duchess:

Yes, it's crystal fucking crystal clear.

Duchess:

So.

Host:

All right, I'm just going through my stuff here.

Host:

Oh, okay.

Host:

So I have a.

Host:

Since we got Christmas coming up and Christmas dinner, we're talking about cuts of meat, but I think it went.

Host:

How do I put this?

Host:

Let me try something here.

Host:

I'm working on a fly here.

Host:

I don't have everything.

Duchess:

I have a Christmas game.

Host:

Oh, you have a Christmas game.

Duchess:

Not tonight.

Duchess:

Not tonight.

Host:

Oh, okay.

Duchess:

We'll do.

Duchess:

Yeah, Maybe in, like, in another week or so.

Host:

I got you.

Duchess:

Maybe next week.

Host:

All right.

Duchess:

I found it today, so I wanted to.

Host:

Okay.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So here is a morning news program, and they were talking about after Thanksgiving about, you know, what part of the turkey they like.

Host:

And I think it went off script a little bit here.

Host:

Let me know what you think.

Host:

It's time to talk turkey, ladies and gentlemen.

John Jamingo:

Dark meat.

Host:

Fatty or juicier?

John Jamingo:

I love that dark meat.

Duchess:

I know you do.

Host:

That's what I went.

Host:

Right.

Host:

Oh, so she has a.

Duchess:

She's tucking her hair behind her, like.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

She's got this black woman in there.

Host:

She goes, I know you like that dark meat.

Duchess:

She's very pretty.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Oh, maybe he's sampled the dark meat.

Host:

I went right after it with that leg yesterday.

Duchess:

Yeah, you did.

Host:

I mean, there was no thought about getting a knife and getting those breasts.

John Jamingo:

With the white meat.

Host:

It was all about that leg.

Duchess:

You prefer the dark meat as well?

Duchess:

I have always preferred dark meat, but if things don't work out this Thanksgiving, I think I'm going to switch and start going after the white meat exclusively.

Duchess:

And I mean that sincerely.

Host:

Pour a little gravy on it.

Host:

It'll be fine.

Duchess:

Yeah, you got enough gravy.

Duchess:

I'm gonna work with it.

Duchess:

You just gotta.

Duchess:

You know, I think I can work with the white meat.

Duchess:

I do.

Duchess:

You can trust the white meat.

Duchess:

It's pretty good.

Duchess:

It's still dry.

Duchess:

It's consistent.

Host:

It's relaxed.

Host:

So you gotta put some gravy on it.

Duchess:

It's always a little dry.

Host:

A little dry.

Duchess:

We'll figure it out.

Host:

Yeah, but consistent.

Duchess:

But it has benefits.

Duchess:

And a steady job stays around.

Host:

Once it knocks you up.

Host:

That white meat.

Duchess:

Good for her.

Duchess:

That would.

Duchess:

That's actually really funny because she was certainly a little shady on that.

Duchess:

She's like, I'll just.

Duchess:

I'm just saying I.

Host:

For the white meat.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

I mean, a little bit on the racist side, but I haven't.

Duchess:

It might.

Duchess:

It might have been.

Duchess:

It could.

Duchess:

Depending on how you watch that.

Duchess:

It could have just been.

Duchess:

She was just appreciating her Thanksgiving dinner.

Duchess:

Or she was looking for some white meat.

Host:

Could be.

Host:

Maybe she's exclusively.

Host:

Yeah, the dark meat has seemed to have let her down.

Host:

Here's another one.

Host:

This is about DEI minority.

Host:

Higher, darker the berry, the sweeter the meat.

Host:

That's what Bruce is saying.

Host:

I don't know.

Host:

I don't know about that.

Duchess:

Nazim, your resume is very impressive.

Host:

Oh, thank you.

Host:

You're just the type of person we're looking for as our next tmh.

Host:

Oh, tmh.

Host:

Token minority hire.

Host:

So token minority hire.

Host:

He's.

Host:

I guess you would say he's.

Host:

He's Mediterranean.

Host:

Wouldn't you say?

Host:

He's Mediterranean.

Host:

A duchess is already disavowing.

Host:

She doesn't like the token minority hire.

Duchess:

No, no, no.

Duchess:

I'm evaluating.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

I don't know about Mediterranean.

Duchess:

He's definitely dark.

Duchess:

Darker skinned fella.

Host:

Okay.

Duchess:

Could be.

Duchess:

Could be Mediterranean.

Duchess:

Michael.

Host:

What's that?

Duchess:

As you know, we are a predominantly white firm, but every year we like to hire a small number of ethnic people to show that we're an equal opportunity employer.

Host:

As a TMH should be expected to walk around the building so our clients can see you as well as appear in our brochures with other minority employees.

Host:

So you don't actually want me to be doing any real work?

Duchess:

God, no.

Duchess:

That's what the white guys are for.

Host:

You relax and look ethnic.

Duchess:

Oh, one thing, though, and I don't want to sound rude, but is there any way you could become a shade browner?

Host:

A shade browner?

Duchess:

Yeah, I was thinking of spray tan before you start.

Host:

Not too much, though.

Host:

We've already got our African.

Duchess:

Oh, and another thing.

Duchess:

Is there any way you could get one of those.

Host:

What are they?

Host:

Turb.

Duchess:

Turbans.

Host:

Turbans.

Duchess:

And some robes to wear around the office.

Duchess:

And maybe get a little red dots on your head.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Look, I'm Muslim.

Host:

You're thinking of Hindus.

Host:

Are they the same thing?

Duchess:

Have you ever read my cv?

Duchess:

No.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

All right.

Host:

Well, thanks anyway.

Host:

Have a nice day.

Host:

Starting salary is 175, 000 a year, plus a company car.

Host:

It's an Audi A5.

Host:

What color robe did you have in mind?

Host:

What color robe do you have in mind?

Duchess:

Well, you know, with that kind of money.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I'd wear rope, too.

Host:

That's right.

Duchess:

That.

Duchess:

I'm not mad at it.

Duchess:

Although my.

Duchess:

My promotion was not nearly that kind of level, so.

Duchess:

See, I'm still wearing jeans.

Duchess:

Jeans and sweaters.

Duchess:

That's it.

Host:

We were talking earlier about how Trump had two assassination attempts and the second one was from a guy that we don't even hear from anymore.

Duchess:

Oh, he vanished.

Host:

He did.

Duchess:

You know, I remember with the attempted assassinations with.

Duchess:

Well, definitely with Reagan, because they tried to kill him.

Duchess:

I mean, he was literally shot nonstop.

Duchess:

That's all you heard.

Duchess:

And that just with.

Duchess:

Even with Ford, even George Bush, the guy who threw the shoe at him.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

Like that kind of stuff.

Duchess:

Like, it was always in the news.

Duchess:

They always talked about it.

Duchess:

This happened to Trump.

Host:

And it's like no one cares.

Duchess:

Gone, gone.

Duchess:

It's like in the wind.

Host:

I don't care what anybody.

Duchess:

The president.

Duchess:

Right.

Host:

He was never supposed to make it to the.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

To the election.

Host:

They were going to try to kill him.

Duchess:

Yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

He should have been.

Duchess:

They should have been all over this.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So listen to this.

Host:

This just came out and I was shocked.

Host:

We got two new revelations from the Trump assassination task force.

Host:

According to their report, the Secret Service agent who spotted Ryan Ruth in the bushes outside Trump's golf course was only five feet away when he opened fire and missed him.

Host:

Not once, not twice.

Host:

Six times.

Host:

He missed six times from five feet.

Host:

How does a trained agent who passed the firearms test miss a target?

Host:

Away.

Host:

Five feet away.

Host:

That's not all.

Host:

The report says the Secret Service found out at 2:30 in the morning that Trump would be golfing later that day.

Host:

But they didn't secure the course, allowing Ruth to camp out for 12 hours before anyone saw him.

Host:

Meanwhile, Ruth appeared in federal court this morning and his legal team signaling they're going to go with the insanity defense.

Host:

How convenient.

Host:

Ruth's public defender said he has had multiple meetings with a mental health expert while in jail.

Host:

And the witnesses who saw him before the arrest say he was hallucinating and delusional.

Host:

Of course, prosecutors also revealed that Ruth has been doing a lot more writing behind bars than initially reported.

Host:

Ruth has written nearly 40 letters to news outlets in an attempt to persuade them that he's an honorable guy, but they were intercepted before they reached their targets.

Host:

We also know that only 17 of the 18 cell phones found in Ruth's possession belong to him.

Host:

Why does he have 18 cell phones?

Host:

And wait, he has 17?

Host:

So who owns the last phone and why did Ruth have it?

Host:

Right.

Host:

And also Ruth has a.

Host:

Nah, nice A cups he has.

Host:

All right, so don't tell me that the Secret Service knew that Trump was going golfing at 2:30 in the morning.

Host:

They didn't sweep.

Host:

The guy shoots six.

Host:

I would really like them to go out there and find the six shots and find out where they were.

Host:

I bet you they were all into the ground.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I bet you they were all insane.

Duchess:

But sane enough to stay in one spot just waiting for 12 hours.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

You ever try sitting in a spot for 12 hours waiting for something to come out and kill?

Host:

I have.

Host:

Deer hunt sucks, fucking blows.

Host:

Tell you that right now.

Duchess:

And it's not Florida.

Duchess:

No, you're not sitting in Florida weather.

Host:

Look, we're like 30 days.

Duchess:

Smells so fucking dirty.

Host:

39 days away until Trump takes, takes the oath of office.

Host:

I can't wait.

Host:

And you know why I can't wait?

Host:

I can't wait for this guy, this guy here.

Host:

I can't wait for him.

Duchess:

This is our border guy.

Host:

Our border guy.

Host:

This guy, he's insane.

Duchess:

I love him.

Host:

I love this guy.

Host:

What happens January 21st?

Host:

Where do you start?

Host:

Well, there's three rails.

Host:

We'll start the first day.

Host:

Number one, we're going to secure the border.

Host:

Number two, we're going to run the deportation operation.

Host:

And number three, looking for these 300,000 kids, we'll find them, too.

Host:

President Trump's been clear.

Host:

We're going to prioritize public safety threats and national security threats first because they pose the most danger to this nation.

Host:

So day one, we're going to be looking for these public safety threats, arresting them, detaining them and deporting them.

Host:

And if these sanctuary city mayors don't want help, they get the hell out of the way.

Host:

Because we're coming, we're doing it.

Duchess:

No nonsense.

Host:

You say that.

Host:

The left media has it backwards.

Host:

Brandon, you is the bad guy.

Host:

How are you the bad guy?

Host:

You know, I grew up in a family full of cops.

Host:

My grandfather's a Cop.

Host:

My dad was a cop.

Host:

And we're in a situation now.

Host:

The left thinks those who enforce laws are the bad guys.

Host:

Those who broke the law, the victims.

Host:

Well, we're going to change that after January 20th.

Host:

I love this guy.

Host:

So that was, he was on Dr.

Host:

Phil.

Duchess:

I'm not mad at what he has to say.

Duchess:

I mean, we're at the point point now where it's so extreme.

Duchess:

We have to do something.

Duchess:

There has to be a change.

Duchess:

We can't, as a nation, we can't support just the vast amount of people and certainly the amount of criminals, the dangerous criminals.

Duchess:

And something came up on the news today right before I came, came in here to sit with you guys, with you, regarding a seven year old little girl who was hit, killed by a drunk driver who was an illegal immigrant.

Duchess:

How do you get his license?

Duchess:

Oh, wait, I bet he doesn't have one.

Duchess:

How do you get a car?

Duchess:

Who knows?

Host:

All right, so I wasn't going to because it's late in the show, but since you mentioned that, I might have to go with this.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

There was a, on the Hill today, they had Mandro Mayorkas and that's another guy.

Duchess:

Alejandro needs.

Host:

Alejandro, I'm sorry.

Host:

Alejandro Mayorkas and this scumbag, I can't wait for him to leave.

Duchess:

He's awful.

Host:

So Senator Josh, he just does whatever Biden wants.

Duchess:

All this shit Biden wanted, he's just the fall guy for it.

Host:

You want to get infuriated?

Host:

Listen to this.

Host:

It's, it's long, but it's worth it.

Host:

Here we go.

John Jamingo:

Me.

John Jamingo:

You just don't want to answer the question.

John Jamingo:

Two days ago, two days ago you were asked about this in the House Homeland Security Committee.

John Jamingo:

I've got the transcripts right here in front of me.

John Jamingo:

You were asked the same question.

John Jamingo:

Jose Ibarra, why was he paroled?

John Jamingo:

You said, I don't know.

John Jamingo:

You said, I don't know.

John Jamingo:

I don't have the case details with me today.

John Jamingo:

Congressman Bishop says you don't know.

John Jamingo:

And you said, I don't know.

John Jamingo:

I don't have the details with respect to that individual's case, but I would be pleased to provide them to you, Congressman.

John Jamingo:

You didn't know two days ago.

John Jamingo:

Now, interestingly, on April 10, six days before that, you gave Senator Katie Britt a different answer.

John Jamingo:

She asked you the same question.

John Jamingo:

She said, why was Jose Ibera paroled into the United States?

John Jamingo:

You said, and I quote, ranking member Britt.

John Jamingo:

There was no derogatory information of which we were aware.

John Jamingo:

So you were happy to comment on the case.

John Jamingo:

Then on April 10, by April 16, you had developed amnesia.

John Jamingo:

And today you say you just won't comment.

John Jamingo:

So which is it, Mr.

John Jamingo:

Secretary?

John Jamingo:

Now that we have the file, I'll tell you what the difference is.

John Jamingo:

Congressman Bishop didn't have the profile and Senator Britt didn't have the profile.

John Jamingo:

And now we do have the parole file.

John Jamingo:

And now we all know that the reason he was paroled into this country was because lack of detention capacity, which, as you and I both know, here.

Host:

Comes the chart, here comes the evidence.

John Jamingo:

Is not a valid reason under the statute.

John Jamingo:

And now that we know that for sure.

John Jamingo:

This is right out of the parole file.

John Jamingo:

Here it is.

John Jamingo:

Subject was paroled due to detention capacity at the Central Processing center in El Paso, Texas.

John Jamingo:

Now, suddenly you don't want to talk about it.

John Jamingo:

This is extraordinary.

John Jamingo:

It's also a pattern with you.

John Jamingo:

So let me just try one more time.

John Jamingo:

Have you read the parole file, Senator?

Host:

I'm going to give the same answer, and let me say it.

John Jamingo:

Well, which one are you going to give me?

John Jamingo:

The answer you gave to Senator Britt?

John Jamingo:

Are you going to give the answer you gave to Congressman Bishop?

John Jamingo:

Or the answer you gave to Senator Paul?

John Jamingo:

Or do you want to try a fourth one?

Host:

Senator, I will not speak to the particulars of the case given the pending criminal prosecution.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, well, I'm sure.

John Jamingo:

Well, you certainly, of course, you don't want to because it is an absolutely damning indictment of your policies.

John Jamingo:

Let's just review Jose Barrera and how Ibarra rather, and how he came to be here.

John Jamingo:

,:

John Jamingo:

A provision, a proviso, a rule that is not permitted under the statute.

John Jamingo:

You and I both know you know this.

John Jamingo:

You knew it when you were talking to Congressman Bishop.

John Jamingo:

You knew it when you were testifying to Senator Britt, and you know it today.

John Jamingo:

You just never wanted to cop to it because the statute doesn't permit it.

John Jamingo:

And so you lied to Congressman Bishop and you lied to Senator Britt.

John Jamingo:

And now you are hiding behind the ongoing prosecution excuse because it's the last one left to you because you testified falsely under oath.

Host:

Hey, wait a minute.

Host:

When you testify false, isn't that perjury?

Host:

And shouldn't this motherfucker be in fucking jail right now?

Duchess:

Yep.

Duchess:

I like Josh Hawley.

Duchess:

He's been.

Host:

And I love this.

Host:

This is what I elect people in Congress to do.

Host:

To go in there and hold these people's feet to the fire.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Host:

And it's.

Host:

And it's not done.

Host:

Because it gets better.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

,:

John Jamingo:

This is now in New York.

John Jamingo:

The results come back and indicate he has a criminal history.

John Jamingo:

So he's in this country.

John Jamingo:

He has a criminal history.

John Jamingo:

September 14th, he is arrested in New York by NYPD.

John Jamingo:

For what?

John Jamingo:

Injuring a child.

John Jamingo:

th,:

John Jamingo:

What happens?

John Jamingo:

The offense was never prosecuted and the arrest was expunged.

John Jamingo:

I'm reading right out of the profile, expunged.

John Jamingo:

Nothing is done to this guy.

John Jamingo:

He had a criminal record to start with.

John Jamingo:

He's in the country on illegal grounds.

John Jamingo:

You have falsely and illegally allowed him in.

John Jamingo:

He commits a crime against a child, he's not prosecuted.

John Jamingo:

It's expunged.

John Jamingo:

In November.

John Jamingo:

Get this, in November, Ibarra files an application for employment authorization.

John Jamingo:

,:

John Jamingo:

So this is your policies in action, Mr.

John Jamingo:

Secretary.

John Jamingo:

A criminal is permitted into this country on grounds flatly not permitted, flatly contradictory to the statute.

John Jamingo:

He commits a crime against a child and then he gets a work permit.

John Jamingo:

He gets a work permit.

John Jamingo:

You want to know why?

John Jamingo:

All of the jobs in the last two or three years have gone to illegal migrants.

John Jamingo:

Working people in this country can't get a job.

John Jamingo:

Their unemployment rate's high.

John Jamingo:

Why?

John Jamingo:

Because of things like this.

John Jamingo:

And then what's he do?

John Jamingo:

Well, we all know that in February he commits the heinous crime against Lake and Riley.

John Jamingo:

Is this a record that you are proud of, Senator?

Host:

You've misstated some facts I have read.

John Jamingo:

From the parole file which you have said you don't recall.

John Jamingo:

Don't have you miscited.

John Jamingo:

I'm reading from it.

John Jamingo:

It is right here.

John Jamingo:

And I've just.

John Jamingo:

Pursuant to the speech and debate clause, I have just read it into the record.

John Jamingo:

And the reason is you have lied repeatedly to Congress and to the American people about this.

John Jamingo:

They deserve to know.

John Jamingo:

And the only way they're going to know is if I tell them.

John Jamingo:

I've just told them.

John Jamingo:

It's in the record now.

John Jamingo:

I've read it verbatim from.

Host:

Verbatim.

Duchess:

Verbatim, Verbatim.

John Jamingo:

The parole file.

John Jamingo:

Verbatim.

John Jamingo:

I just want to know, why did you change your story so often?

John Jamingo:

Why didn't you just answer honestly to Congressman Bishop and Senator Britt?

Host:

Senator, I am.

Host:

I am confident that justice will be.

Zip Tie:

Vindicated in the criminal prosecution of the case.

John Jamingo:

Well, hopefully he'll get more of a trial than you got.

Duchess:

Oh, oh, oh.

John Jamingo:

Otherwise there'll be no justice for anyone at all.

Duchess:

That's true.

Host:

Why isn't this guy let out of the area?

Host:

Why isn't he handcuffed?

Host:

Why isn't he arrested?

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

But why isn't Senator Hawley so somewhere, somewhere else, higher up?

Duchess:

Because I love him.

Duchess:

He's on my congressional pick list.

Host:

Oh, is he?

Host:

He's your.

Host:

One of your top five.

Duchess:

He talks about doing the congressional bracket.

Duchess:

He's one of them.

Duchess:

If we ever get maybe in a.

Duchess:

Maybe we can do that in April after the new.

Duchess:

The new thing.

Duchess:

Well, I know, I know.

Duchess:

We've got a few of our.

Duchess:

Our listeners who have their picks, so maybe we get them.

Host:

Oh, yeah, we could do that.

Duchess:

Submissions.

Host:

Does that make your blood boil, though, to listen to them read that?

Duchess:

Really?

Host:

And how is this guy still.

Host:

Why isn't he fired?

Host:

Anybody that was that incompetent in their job should be fucking fired immediately.

Duchess:

Immediately should be fired.

Duchess:

But Joe Biden gives no shits.

Host:

He doesn't even know where he's at.

Duchess:

That's my point.

Duchess:

Yes, Give a shit.

Duchess:

He's pardoning people by the tonight and giving them blanket.

Duchess:

Not only do you.

Duchess:

Are you pardoned for this, you're pardoned for just this whole chunk of time.

Duchess:

He pardoned for whatever may have happened.

Duchess:

Biden's not like a specific crime.

Duchess:

It's between anything that you did.

Duchess:

You're not even the shit we don't know about today.

Host:

He pardoned.

Host:

Well, not him, his administration.

Host:

Because he just.

Host:

He's just.

Host:

He don't know where the fuck he's at.

Host:

His administration today pardoned a Chinese spy that was charged with pedophilia.

Host:

Oh, okay.

Host:

No big deal.

Duchess:

He's not a good guy.

Host:

That's all fucking.

Host:

I'm telling you, man.

Host:

This is why we have President Trump.

Host:

This is why.

Duchess:

This is exactly the reason how he got elected.

Duchess:

Because people see what's happening.

Duchess:

I think people's eyes are finally clear.

Duchess:

And while they may not like him personally, he's gonna get shit done.

Duchess:

And that's what people.

Duchess:

People want to be safe.

Duchess:

They're watching what's going on.

Duchess:

It's scary.

Duchess:

Listen, it is scary.

Host:

There should be not one fucking Democrat should vote against anybody that Trump nominates for a position.

Host:

Because if we get Alejandro Mayorkas and he is in there, and then the woman, the man woman, that's part of the hhs, what's her Name?

Host:

Rachel Levine.

Host:

She got in and she was in all these people.

Host:

The other one they fired because.

Host:

Or quit, whatever happened because he was stealing fucking luggage, that mentally ill patient.

Host:

And you're going to sit there and say that you can't get in.

Host:

Pete, Fox News guy and RFK and Tulsi Gabbard, they're still trying to make that fucking Tulsi Gabbard Russian.

Duchess:

Oh, they're trying.

Duchess:

They're really trying with that.

Host:

They're still trying to make that dog hunt.

Host:

And that's.

Host:

None of this is going to work.

Host:

And I'm telling you right now, if any of these fucking Republicans side with the Democrats and do not appoint these people, I want a primate primaried and I want them out.

Duchess:

What's going like with Jody Earn?

Duchess:

Joni Ernst?

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

What the fuck is that?

Host:

She's the first one I know.

Duchess:

Why is she doing this?

Host:

You know why?

Host:

I'll tell you why.

Host:

Because she.

Host:

Well, first of all, she doesn't want RFK in there.

Host:

You know what?

Host:

You go and you look at her donor lists.

Host:

Her donor lists are all medical insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, everybody.

Host:

All these people that donated backers.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

People that give her money right now.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

Get in there and dance now, puppet.

Host:

I gave you money.

Host:

Now go in there and dance and do my bidding.

Host:

Fucking people.

Duchess:

Did you hear?

Duchess:

I didn't find the clip until much.

Duchess:

I didn't see it until much later today, so obviously.

Duchess:

But it just, as you mentioned about rfk, one of the topics on the View was that he's going after specifically targeting obese people to shame them about their body.

Duchess:

And then her, her argument, Whoopi Goldberg's argument, where some people are just born big.

Duchess:

Like they're big structures and things like that.

Duchess:

I'm like, well, okay, that's fine.

Duchess:

People are built differently.

Duchess:

I can understand, you know, someone who's, you know, 4, 10, 5ft is not built the same as a 6, 4 man.

Duchess:

And there's a.

Duchess:

Obviously there's that kind of differences or whatever.

Duchess:

But don't say that he's going to come out and shame people.

Duchess:

He's going to shame the companies that are profiting off all of us.

Duchess:

Look, I can garbage that's in our food, right?

Host:

If I was at work and I was an alcoholic and I said I was an alcoholic, they would take me away and send me away for the cure, like eight weeks where I could go and dry out or if I was on drugs, but if I'm overweight and I want to get into a plan where you can get nutrition education and all that other stuff.

Host:

No.

Host:

Eat a salad, take a walk, tubby.

Host:

That's how it works.

Host:

So again, we are villainized.

Host:

People that are overweight now, now they finally got a drug that comes out that fucking works.

Host:

It's amazing.

Host:

It's a fucking miracle drug.

Host:

And I don't care what anybody says.

Host:

I know it's fucking expensive.

Host:

You know how I know it's expensive?

Host:

I pay $500 a month for it out of my pocket, and it's $1,500 a month or whatever.

Host:

It's.

Host:

I pay whatever it is.

Host:

I pay half to get it, and I continue to get it because it works.

Host:

All right, it does help with diabetes, but it does.

Host:

Does a lot of different things too.

Host:

And then, you know, I see Bob in there poo pooing it, like, oh, it's this, it's that.

Host:

Or whatever, whatever.

Host:

What the.

Host:

Bob, he's not poo pooing whatever he does.

Host:

I hear dude all the time, okay, but what it does is it, you know, it works in the issue that makes you want to eat.

Host:

It makes you stop and stop eating all the food noise that happens.

Host:

It's a miracle.

Host:

It's a fucking miracle.

Host:

I've never seen anything like it.

Host:

And I've been.

Host:

Trust me, I've been on every fucking diet since the 80s.

Host:

I mean, there's the cabbage soup diet, the North American diet, the Mediterranean Watchers, the Weight Watchers, Lean Cuisine, all that shit.

Host:

Every fucking.

Host:

You.

Host:

What was that one where you used Nutrisystem?

Host:

I've been on all of them.

Duchess:

They deliver the food to your house.

Host:

Yeah, I remember one time, Nutri System, they give you a bag of food, it's supposed to be for a week.

Host:

I got home and half of it was gone.

Host:

It was very tasty.

Host:

But what I'm saying, I ate all four of them, you know, and.

Host:

And I.

Host:

Until I got hurt and I couldn't exercise anymore, you know, I.

Host:

I used to be able to handle that.

Duchess:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Host:

You ought to take it, Bob.

Host:

Maybe you stop fucking smoking.

Host:

Might stop you from bashing you.

Duchess:

At least not this morning if he's goofing on you.

Duchess:

But, yeah, he says he's prescribed to help with addictions now.

Duchess:

Drugs, smoking, et cetera.

Host:

And I say, yeah, And I say that to say this because I used to love to play online poker.

Host:

That, you know, used to.

Host:

I have not played.

Host:

I'll be honest with you, I haven't played online.

Host:

That headset that I paid for is sitting in a drawer somewhere.

Host:

And I haven't used it at all.

Host:

At all.

Host:

So, you know, there's a lot of things.

Host:

Now, should it be 1,500 hours a month?

Host:

No, because in Canada it's a lot less and over in Europe it's even a lot less.

Host:

So we're getting fucked up the ass here because not only do we pay for this, we pay for the.

Host:

What's it called when you.

Host:

Science.

Host:

What's it called when you do that scientific research.

Duchess:

No idea what you're going to on that one.

Host:

Okay, we pay for the research, we pay for all this other shit.

Host:

And then the drug comes out and they stick it up our ass.

Host:

Fuck them.

Host:

And then, you know, Oz Epic has been a godsend.

Host:

See, it's amazing.

Host:

It's amazing.

Host:

And then what happens is that people like, oh, you're fucking cheating.

Host:

Fuck you, jerk offs.

Host:

Fuck all of you.

Host:

Just sit there and say that it's cheating.

Host:

You go fuck yourselves.

Host:

I've had enough of you with your bullshit.

Duchess:

It's nobody's business to deal with.

Host:

It works.

Host:

Who gives a shit what it does?

Duchess:

Well, you're grown man.

Duchess:

You made your decision.

Duchess:

Oh, you should get out and walk.

Duchess:

Well, you can't right the moment, you know, But I'm sure when you are able to go do what you need to do, that's the goal down the road.

Host:

Look, if I can get enough weight off where I can get new knees, and maybe this is going to work a little bit better, but it's.

Host:

Oh, and here's the other thing.

Host:

Like if I wanted to get a, you know, a membership to a health club, like whatever it is, and be able to go, will they pay for that?

Host:

No, they won't pay for that.

Duchess:

Yeah, they won't pay the 15amonth.

Host:

A month.

Host:

But you know what they'll give you?

Host:

They'll give you, they'll pay $1,000 or $750 of your Manjaro bill.

Host:

They'll pay for that every month.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I don't understand how some things are apparently approved and some things aren't.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

It's just, it's odd because you'd want.

Duchess:

You would want.

Duchess:

You would think the preventative is so much better than dealing with a problem afterwards.

Host:

And not only that, you can help.

Duchess:

Someone get a scan and make sure they don't have cancer or they have cancer.

Duchess:

And now you're dealing with years of stuff and treatment and drugs and.

Host:

Right.

Duchess:

And then why.

Host:

And also he wants to go after companies that are making our food and getting the chemicals out of our Food.

Duchess:

I think that's not a bad idea.

Host:

Yeah, it's not a bad idea in our food.

Host:

Right?

Host:

You go over to.

Duchess:

I'm not a big fan of those.

Duchess:

Those GMOs, right?

Duchess:

It's in everything.

Duchess:

It's everything.

Host:

Right?

Host:

But again.

Host:

So here we go.

Host:

But I get yelled at.

Host:

See, here's the problem.

Duchess:

All right?

Duchess:

Nobody.

Duchess:

Just to clarify, anybody listening?

Duchess:

Nobody's yelling at John right now.

Host:

What do you mean?

Host:

No one's yelling at me.

Duchess:

No one's fussing at you.

Duchess:

Like you said, you get yelled at.

Duchess:

You're not getting yelled at.

Host:

Oh, I get yelled at all the time.

Host:

Not for just this, but for my opinions.

Host:

So I want to end with this.

Host:

All right?

Duchess:

I do this one more thing to go ahead.

Host:

I know.

Host:

Well, I mean, I want to end my rant with this.

Duchess:

Oh, I'm.

Duchess:

Go ahead.

Host:

My rant is, I'm a guy that does this for fun.

Host:

I have opinions and I spout my opinions, and sometimes people don't like my opinions, and that's fine.

Host:

But what you're not going to do is change my opinions.

Host:

And if you come at me, I'll debate you.

Host:

I'll debate you till the end.

Host:

Because they used to say, oh, you always think you're right.

Host:

What fucking moron argues when you think you're wrong?

Host:

Who does that?

Host:

What kind of psychopath argues when you think you're wrong?

Host:

Of course I'm arguing because I think I'm right.

Host:

If I thought I was wrong, I would apologize, because I'm man enough to apologize when I realize I'm wrong.

Host:

So if I'm still arguing, I think I'm right.

Host:

Hence the Panama Red guy from the bromingos.

Host:

And you're going to have a real comfortable lunch because we got into it over this Black Lives Matter thing after the Daniel Penny thing, after the Daniel Penny verdict came out.

Host:

And I said, there's Black Lives Matter out there inciting a riot so they can be more, you know, back in the news again.

Host:

And I said.

Host:

And I'll say it again because I believe it.

Host:

I've never seen somebody that should be called the N word more than those people right there.

Host:

They are fucking disgusting, Marxist, racist pieces of shit.

Host:

And they get Newstime and it gets millions and millions of dollars.

Host:

They're buying houses in California and they don't even know where to put all this fucking money.

Host:

And they've been exposed by Candace Owen for the bullshit that they've done.

Host:

And where's the news there?

Host:

Where's the news with these people?

Host:

They won't talk about it because if they talk about it, they'll be called racist.

Host:

And this is the reverse racism that goes on in this country.

Host:

And I will call a spade a spade, and I will call this shit out because it's wrong.

Host:

It's wrong if white people do it.

Host:

It's wrong if black people do it.

Host:

And don't tell me you can't be racist if you're black because of power.

Host:

Bullshit.

Host:

There's plenty of black people around here.

Host:

And you know what?

Host:

It's not even all black people, because there's a lot of black people out here that agreed with the penny verdict, all right?

Host:

So anyhow, Panama Red and me are not on speaking terms anymore because he took his fucking ball, went home because, oh, I'm not putting up with this shit.

Host:

So I even tried to reach out to him privately to talk to him, and he started his fucking bullshit, you know, stuck a tampon in his.

Host:

Up his ass and went away.

Host:

So again, I guess we're not friends.

Host:

Well, I'm not friends with the Bromigos, and Dutch is supposed to go out and have lunch with one of them, so that's.

Duchess:

I'm meeting Matt Mish for dinner tomorrow.

Host:

That should be comfortable.

Duchess:

That'll be fine.

Duchess:

It'll be fine.

Duchess:

We have plenty of shit to talk about.

Host:

Tell him I said hi.

Duchess:

I certainly will.

Duchess:

He flies in tonight, so that should be interesting.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So he's not a fan of flying, so.

Host:

Right.

Host:

So I.

Host:

I spout my opinion, and if you want to come at me, come at me.

Host:

And if you want to say I'm wrong, that's fine.

Host:

I don't care.

Host:

But these are my opinions.

Host:

I spent a lot of money in here to broadcast to a small minority of people, all right, Just about my bullshit.

Duchess:

We appreciate all the people that are here.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

I love those people.

Host:

The people who come in here.

Duchess:

You have the right to say how you feel.

Host:

Yes.

Host:

And he has the right to say how he feels.

Duchess:

The right to believe what you believe.

Host:

But to be a.

Host:

And just take your fucking ball and go home.

Duchess:

Race discussion.

Duchess:

And that's.

Duchess:

That's what it is, right?

Host:

You want to be a man and come over here, hug it out.

Host:

Let's hug it out and get over again.

Duchess:

Speak for him.

Host:

Same thing with Doug from who's Right?

Host:

Another oh, my God.

Host:

Bullshit.

Host:

We're men, all right?

Host:

Just come over there, hug it out, and be done with it.

Duchess:

Move on.

Duchess:

Let's go.

Duchess:

God damn it.

Duchess:

You men are such a pain.

Duchess:

What?

Host:

What?

Host:

I'm done.

Duchess:

Apologize right now.

Duchess:

All this.

Duchess:

All the problems you have are with men.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Other men.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

All right.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So, ladies, the fact of the matter.

Duchess:

Pay attention to what's going on.

Host:

Hang on.

Host:

I'm not done.

Host:

The fact of the matter that women are more men than the men is the issue.

Host:

You all got my phone number, and you all got my email, and you all can DM me in Twitter.

Host:

What are you waiting for?

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

I think Jamingo just threw the flag.

Host:

Yeah.

Host:

It.

Host:

All right, let's talk about.

Host:

I'm walking here.

Duchess:

Well, what else?

Duchess:

I do want to do that, but can we do one more subject before we close with.

Duchess:

I'm walking here.

Host:

We got nine minutes.

Host:

Go ahead.

Duchess:

All right, Boomer Bob.

Duchess:

Pittsburgh versus Philly.

Duchess:

Who's winning?

Host:

Well, I'll be honest with you.

Host:

I've been paying attention to this in Philadelphia.

Host:

They've been fucking around.

Host:

The media around here has been fucking around with A.J.

Host:

brown, and Jalen hurts over some bullshit about the passing.

Host:

Just give me a second here.

Host:

So Philadelphia has one problem and one problem only, and it's with the passing game, and it's squarely lands on Jalen Hurts.

Host:

There they were.

Host:

His receivers were open wide open.

Host:

He wasn't throwing the ball to him.

Host:

He was checking it down.

Host:

I know what the going on.

Host:

I don't know if he can't see over the line or he's afraid to throw the thing or whatever, but that's the case.

Host:

And A.J.

Host:

brown said what?

Host:

They said, what's wrong with the offense?

Host:

And he said passing can't be running because Saquon Barkley is going to be the MVP of the league this year.

Host:

I mean, he's running for over 100 yards a game.

Duchess:

That's crazy.

Duchess:

He already broke records.

Duchess:

He's only been on the team for half a season.

Host:

Right.

Host:

And it's not the offensive line because they're blocking and they're giving Jalen hurts time.

Host:

He just can't see what's going on.

Host:

The defense is playing out of their mind.

Host:

And we.

Host:

And I believe that the Panthers game last week was a trap game because they're getting better, and they won that game.

Host:

All right?

Host:

Thank God.

Duchess:

That one, it was closer than it should have been.

Host:

One guy dropped the fucking ball.

Host:

If they didn't.

Host:

If that guy didn't drop the ball, they would have lost.

Duchess:

Okay?

Host:

So that's that.

Host:

Now I know people want me to bet on this game, and I will not.

Host:

I will not bet on this game because I'm superstitious.

Host:

And if I bet on this.

Host:

The Eagles will lose because I'm a mush.

Host:

And whatever I bet on, they will lose.

Host:

And I can't bet against the Eagles.

Host:

And I did this.

Host:

I bet $5 on the Steelers to win the game.

Host:

What I do is I have reverse psychology.

Host:

I did this in poker.

Host:

So if we get all in.

Host:

In poker, you get all your money in and you get two cards to go.

Host:

And let's say I'm ahead and that person needs a king out of the next two cards.

Host:

What I do is I root for the king and it doesn't come.

Host:

But if I say no king, fucking king comes every time.

Host:

So what I do is I reverse mojo them.

Host:

So this is what I'm doing right now.

Host:

I'm reverse mojoing.

Host:

I am rooting for the Saints.

Host:

Saints.

Host:

I am rooting for the Steelers.

Duchess:

You root for the Saints, So that means the Reds.

Duchess:

I'm rooting for the Steelers or the Commanders.

Duchess:

Excuse me.

Host:

Now, that being said, I'm not betting on the game, of course, but.

Host:

But if the Steelers beat the Eagles, what I will do on Monday is I will wear.

Host:

Wear the Steelers hat.

Duchess:

Okay.

Host:

And if the Eagles win, the Duchess should have to wear a Eagles hat.

Host:

Do you have an Eagles hat?

Duchess:

I did receive one in the mail.

Duchess:

How funny.

Duchess:

Should I showcase it?

Host:

Go ahead.

Duchess:

Wait and debut it now.

Duchess:

So I opened a package up yesterday and I see this nightmare of a hat says go Birds.

Duchess:

Go Birds.

Host:

So if the Eagles queen on Sunday.

Duchess:

Stinky vulture on it, that just has.

Host:

To wear that during the podcast on Monday night for the whole show.

Duchess:

I don't know what's on the podcast.

Host:

What's that?

Duchess:

I don't wear hats.

Host:

Well, you will.

Host:

You will.

Host:

Well, you don't have to do it or.

Host:

I mean, you said you want.

Host:

I mean, this is.

Host:

You have your terrible towel.

Host:

That's great.

Host:

Do all that shit.

Host:

I'm rooting for him.

Host:

I'm rooting for the Steelers because I'm putting my bad mojo on the Eagles.

Host:

I know.

Host:

I got all kinds of equal stuff over here too.

Host:

All right.

Host:

So my little.

Duchess:

My little Eagles.

Duchess:

My Eagles.

Duchess:

Geez.

Duchess:

He got me saying Eagles.

Duchess:

I'm in my little Steelers area.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

Yeah, got my little Steelers.

Host:

It should.

Host:

Listen, it should be a hell of a game.

Duchess:

It's going to be a great game.

Duchess:

I'm.

Duchess:

I'm.

Duchess:

I can't wait to watch it.

Duchess:

The only bump.

Duchess:

First of all, it's a 4:00 game.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

How the is that?

Host:

Because usually I was surprised that they didn't.

Duchess:

I was Surprised it wasn't the 1:00 game.

Host:

No, I was surprised they didn't.

Host:

What does it recall when they move it to 8:00?

Host:

I forget what they call it.

Duchess:

Yeah, I know I forgot with Boomer charades.

Host:

Here we go.

Host:

It was.

Duchess:

No, I'm not gonna remember this one.

Duchess:

I don't remember it.

Duchess:

No, this.

Duchess:

I, I.

Duchess:

Because I remember what it.

Duchess:

I know it, but I cannot remember it.

Duchess:

And I never remember it when I'm supposed to.

Duchess:

So that one I can't get.

Duchess:

Sparky asked who sent the.

Host:

Sorry.

Duchess:

I received this gift from John.

Host:

Yeah, I had to send her something so she had it to wear because I know she didn't have any Eagles gear.

Duchess:

No, I don't.

Host:

So I didn't send her a Philadelphia Eagles hat because.

Host:

But I figured Go Birds would be better.

Duchess:

Go where?

Duchess:

At least it was cheap.

Duchess:

You didn't have to pay for some official license something or other.

Duchess:

But, but the, the.

Duchess:

Let me tell you what I'm the only thing I'm bummed about with a 4:00 game for 4:25 game.

Duchess:

Because I'm talk.

Duchess:

Obviously we're watching it.

Duchess:

It's broadcast everywhere.

Duchess:

This is going to be like a huge game.

Duchess:

It's the same time as the Lions Bills game.

Duchess:

Oh, and well, I'm gonna watch that too, but on my phone.

Duchess:

But I mean.

Duchess:

But like that's gonna be a great game too.

Duchess:

That's gonna be an incredible game and I'm very much looking forward to it.

Duchess:

So I'm like, go team.

Duchess:

Because I like them both.

Host:

I mean, team.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

Well, I can't hit picture in picture.

Duchess:

I might, I might.

Duchess:

I have red zone.

Duchess:

So I might actually be watching.

Host:

Yeah.

Duchess:

The one thing on.

Duchess:

On the phone or on the PAT tablet and then the other on the tv, just red zone.

Duchess:

That circulates everything.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

I'm so.

Duchess:

Oh yeah.

Duchess:

Get to look.

Duchess:

I've been trying to upgrade my living room TV for a couple years now.

Host:

They're so cheap now.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

But I.

Duchess:

I want a big TV.

Host:

Because they're like 100 inch now.

Host:

It's like they're.

Duchess:

I actually, I have a short wall.

Duchess:

I could probably.

Duchess:

I can probably put like a 65 inch up there.

Duchess:

But it's gonna go like.

Host:

That's what you need.

Duchess:

Edge.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

I'm trying.

Host:

I saw the 100 inch one and I, I saw there's.

Host:

It's like five foot tall.

Host:

It's insane how big it is.

Duchess:

Oh, I know, I know.

Duchess:

Well, the funny part is when I look at the 65 inch TVs, I'm like, they're taller than me.

Duchess:

If I stood it up, it's taller than me.

Duchess:

Like me, man, that's just so sad.

Duchess:

I was like, oh, but I.

Duchess:

I still want it.

Duchess:

So I love.

Duchess:

Sparky says, get a Samsung.

Duchess:

That's the only ones we buy are Samsungs.

Duchess:

They're worth it.

Duchess:

I don't buy like the Lenovo or the junky ones in Walmart.

Duchess:

I mean, but they're still so inexpensive.

Duchess:

They even sell the Samsungs in Walmart.

Duchess:

And I mean, if you look around at Best Buy or whatever, they're all this, roughly the same price.

Host:

inch TV in:

Duchess:

I'm not mad at it.

Duchess:

That's the only ones we've had.

Duchess:

Bob says, lg the.

Duchess:

Was it oled?

Duchess:

Oled.

Host:

Bob's.

Host:

Bob's always got a better one.

Host:

No matter what anybody says, Bob's always got something better.

Duchess:

He shops around.

Host:

I know he does.

Duchess:

He can.

Host:

He can do.

Host:

I get it.

Duchess:

He's not decent tv.

Duchess:

He's good for him.

Duchess:

Well, as long as you figure out the ones you want, I would.

Duchess:

I would love.

Duchess:

I actually wanted a little bit of a curved tv, but they're still expensive and I don't need that.

Duchess:

So I just want something I can watch football on.

Duchess:

Like just big picture.

Host:

Yes.

Host:

All right, are we done here or.

Duchess:

Are we done with this bit?

Host:

Are we done with this bit?

Duchess:

We are walking.

Duchess:

All right, so we didn't do the walking.

Duchess:

God damn it, John.

Host:

Lots of.

Host:

Lot of shit to get to today.

Duchess:

I know we did, but it was a good show.

Duchess:

I enjoyed it.

Duchess:

So I'll go quick so I have the numbers.

Duchess:

No graphics this week.

Duchess:

Josh was not feeling well, and I was not about to pester him to create anything.

Duchess:

He was very ill.

Duchess:

Hope Jason feels better.

Duchess:

Good luck, Jason.

Duchess:

Jason, Josh.

Duchess:

So, Miles wise, I have 2,320.

Duchess:

miles ahead of Josh, who has:

Duchess:

That's not going to last because he'll probably run a fucking marathon tomorrow.

Duchess:

But right now, as of this moment, I am two miles ahead of him.

Host:

First time since we started this.

Duchess:

Yeah, he's probably gotten 15 more miles since we started the show.

Duchess:

And Matt, Mr.

Duchess:

Decaf has 2,222 row.

Host:

It does.

Duchess:

He's been dragging you along.

Host:

That's right.

Host:

I appreciate that.

Host:

That's a big load to carry.

Duchess:

He's a sturdy little fella, so he's done great.

Duchess:

So I'M proud of him for catching up so quickly because Everybody has hit 20, 20, 24.

Host:

Yep.

Duchess:

So we've all blown past that.

Duchess:

, but we're gonna hit:

Duchess:

I think by year end.

Duchess:

I know Josh and I will and Matt may come close, so.

Duchess:

And I think we're done.

Duchess:

Oh, do we have any voicemails or text messages?

Host:

Jesus Christ.

Duchess:

Well, you want me to remind you?

Host:

I know, but you're supposed to remind me before.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

I was gonna put it in the notes and I totally forgot.

Host:

Of course we don't.

Duchess:

Oh, people.

Duchess:

I had asked for ideas for the bet, and this is.

Duchess:

Now we're doing it.

Host:

No one cares.

Host:

They don't.

Host:

They just.

Host:

I won't do it.

Host:

All right, all right.

Host:

I'm getting out of here.

Host:

Thank you for watching for those that have showed up and.

Host:

And thanks for hanging out with us and chatting with us.

Host:

We appreciate that.

Host:

All our.

Host:

What do they call that?

Host:

Links are in the show notes.

Duchess:

Wow.

Host:

I fixed everything.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

You got the right time in there.

Host:

At the right time and everything.

Host:

It's amazing.

Host:

Twice a week.

Host:

Twice a week.

Duchess:

30 Eastern.

Duchess:

Yep.

Duchess:

We're on boomerbunker.com.

Duchess:

find everything there.

Host:

Right.

Host:

All right, we'll see you on Monday after big Eagles win.

Host:

I mean, Steelers.

Duchess:

Go Steelers.

Duchess:

Woo.

Duchess:

Bye.

Host:

It.

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