Tessa and Marni discuss how Marni went through a period of reflection and exploration after a ski accident. After realizing she was afraid of change and was clinging to her old life, Marni decided to do some soul-searching, and discovered her true passions and desires. Marni also discusses her process of designing a life that aligns with her soul's desires and the importance of listening to one's inner voice. 

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get Tessa’s Reignition Roadmap!  http://www.tessafreegift.com/

Check it out!

• A life-changing accident causes Marni to reevaluate her life and embark on a transformative journey
• A poignant moment during recovery leads to a pivot
• Fear of change as a fundamental issue
• Letting go of control and facing the discomfort of the unknown
• Uncovering layers of passions and true desires with iIntentional immersion 
• Learning to surrender and have radical faith

About Marni Battista

Marni is an entrepreneur, author, transformational coach, podcast host and radical truth seeker. Her straight-to-the-point podcast and page-turning books drop beautiful pearls of wisdom that will not only make you laugh, but also provide life-changing stories of triumph and courage to stop letting life live you, and start LIVING a life that’s beyond your wildest dreams. 

Battista’s works have appeared in the LA Times and The New Yorker, and she has made appearances on Dr. Phil Show, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, and Home and Family TV. Soon, her new book, “Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions for A Meaningful Life” will be published by Hay House.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marnibattista_/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/MarniBattista/

Marni’s Free Gift 

The CALM Process: https://datingwithdignity.com/calm-process-sign-up/

* About the Host * 

Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.  

As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful Roadmap and Say YES to Your Soul!  http://www.tessafreegift.com/

Check Us Out on: 

Facebook 

Linked In 

Thank You for Listening!

Thank you kindly for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and feel others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons found on this page.

We love hearing from our listeners. If there’s something you want us to cover, we’d love to hear your ideas! Send them to us here:  https://www.sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/contact

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to any of your favorite podcast apps. Otherwise, visit us on the https://sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/ at any time for all episodes.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts Review

https://apple.co/4bwsAC8

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Spotify Listeners

And if you’re a Spotify fan, then Spotify now has a star-rating feature! https://open.spotify.com/show/1aeExmacYRGfKmjCOw6zxD

May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Transcript

Tessa (00:05):

<silence> Well, hello there. I am so happy today to be able to introduce you to a friend of mine, a colleague. I've known her for years now, and we have this opportunity to co-create here on the show today. She is Marni Battista. Marni is an entrepreneur, author, transformational coach, podcast host, and radical truth seeker. And I know we're gonna hear a little bit more about her radical life journey and how that shifted things for her, her straight to the point podcast and page turning books drop beautiful pearls of wisdom that will not only make you laugh, but will also provide life-changing stories of triumph and courage to stop letting life live you and start living a life that's beyond your wildest dreams. Marnie's works have appeared in the LA Times, the New Yorker, and she's also made appearances on shows like Dr. Phil, On Air with Ryan Seacrest and more, and her new book, Your Radical Living Challenge: Seven Questions for a Meaningful Life will be published by Hay House in January, 2025. And congratulations on that and welcome, Marni.

Marni (01:28):

Yay. I was thinking, Tessa, that because my daughter is going to do the Hoffman process , and I was thinking that was a long time ago that that happened, which made me think when you said a long time friend, I was like, oh, Tesa. It's been like 17 years or something.

Tessa (01:44):

Yes, it has <laugh>. Love that <laugh>. Oh my gosh. Oh, that's so amazing. And that, yes, I'm, I'm really happy for your daughter and for you also, that he's gonna do that. So, Marni, I know the listeners are gonna be happy to hear what you have to share today. So let's get going. I'd love to have you just take us down that journey. Sharing a little bit about the box you we're in before and where you've turned the corners and what you're living life like now.

Marni (02:20):

Well, so I was thinking about our conversation today, and I pulled out this book written by this person named Oriah, and it's called The Invitation. And, I thought that this little passage we kind of describe best where I was. And so, this is from her book called The Invitation. And it says, "It doesn't interest me to know what you do for a living. I wanna know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love or your dream for the venture of being alive." And that's just an excerpt from her bigger body of work called The Invitation. I picked that because I think that when I look at what was life like for the soul of Marni inside the container of my physical self in 2020, I had just sort of survived, gotten through the death of my dad, and my mom had passed away 10 years before.

(03:30):

And, you know, tending to the paperwork and the, you know, sort of trying to put the end of someone's life all into columns in rows, <laugh>, and putting it to rest. And I was really excited. It was February and almost one year passed the day my dad died. And some friends invited, my husband and I to go skiing. And, we were up in Canada and, it was like the perfect snow day. And if you would've asked me in that moment, like, was your soul being fully expressed? I would've said, Ugh, Tessa, like a golden moment. <laugh> in my life. Perfect snow day with my friend. And there was a moment where we were skiing, and she was a much better skier than I was, and she went down this road, this pathway, and I thought, for just a brief second, should I go down the pathway she's going down, or should I go around this other way?

(04:31):

And I was like, you know what? I'm feeling pretty great today. So I went down this double black diamond, and if any of you ski, you probably know where this story ends, which was on my back <laugh>, going down the mountain in a little toboggan. And that accident where I,

(04:52):

SNIPPET - I fractured seven bones in my sacrum,  and having the world locked down with me, <laugh> just a couple of weeks after that gave me this moment to really start asking questions about, who am I if I'm not doing all the things that I thought were me?

Tessa (05:21):

Yes. 'cause you weren't able to do anything. You were needing support and there you were. And so you really had this opportunity to do a deep dive into who you really are.

Marni (05:34):

Yeah. And it was really crazy because, it was the first time, so I was on bedrest for nine weeks, and that means literally not moving, everything hurt. You know, I had to use one of those like claws that really, really old people use to grab things. <laugh> notice, by the way, I said, really, really old people.

Tessa (05:53):

Right. We're not putting ourselves in that category at all.

Marni (05:58):

No, we're not in the really, really category. Anyway, I had a walker, I called the walker, Johnny Walker I was trying to make the best of my situation. And so I couldn't do anything. I remember even a moment, and you and I were working together at the time, and I was supposed to go do a retreat, and I was like, you guys gotta go for me. And I remember going to the doctor's office like three days before, I couldn't even sit in the chair. It was, I had to lay down on the ground in the doctor office. And I was like, so I can fly Friday, right? He literally looked at me like, what planet are you living on, honey? Not to mention that the whole world was like, you know, knee deep in Clorox, and you know, Purell.

(06:51):

But, I was just sort of like, I just couldn't accept this new way of experiencing my life. And so it was in that like, where I couldn't read almost. I couldn't write, I couldn't do the things I love, knit. I couldn't exercise clearly. I couldn't even go downstairs. So I was living my whole life up from my bedroom listening to it happening on the floors below. People had to come up to the room and just sort of sit with me. And so that was when I started to get really curious. And the message that I got through my sort of spiritual journey at that very beginning was that, it was symbolic, you know, I had broken my sacrum, like the place, you know, of creativity, the place of all that good juju.

(07:47):

And someone said to me, it is time to rebuild, right? To put back together, to start over, create a new foundation. 'Cause like, your sacrum is like the center right of your beingness. And it's time to start rebuilding from your emotions and your soul rather than just your head. You know, like all that activity that was going on for my neck up. And I was like, what does that even mean? And so that was was the beginning of like, wow, I'm gonna have to start really feeling my feelings. I'm gonna have to start really exploring what are the problems that I think I have in my life? Are they really the problems? Are there deeper problems? And that really started me on this path of making different inquiries to get really honest and start looking at, if I have to rebuild, how am I gonna design it? How am I gonna create it?

Tessa (08:50):

Hmm. This is a really big shift, you know, in the way that you were approaching life and your relationship to it. And so I'm curious about like, if you remember one of those first really big moments where you're like, oh, uh, you know, here's who I thought I was and here's who I am now what I'm getting. Or what was one of those big initial ahas for you?

Marni (09:18):

Well, there were so many, but the one that, really showed me the depth of the broken pieces that needed to get put back together was that in addition to being very busy, and very active and productive, I was also very independent and,  really sort of had a belief that I could do things better than people most of the time. So why bother asking for help sort of a situation.

Tessa (09:56):

Mm-hmm.

Marni (09:57):

And so, I had this moment where, I looked back, during this time I did 200 steps at the most a day <laugh>. So on one of those days, which is a high step day, I walked from my bedroom to my bathroom, and I took a shower, and I remember thinking like, oh, I should really ask my husband to help me take a shower. And I was like, I mean, I can do this. I gotta be able to do this.

Tessa (10:27):

Oh, no, I'm, I'm scared. I'm scared.

Marni (10:29):

Yeah.

Tessa (10:29):

Yeah. Okay.

Marni (10:30):

So I went to take a shower and,  I didn't fall, but, after about probably maybe 90 seconds, I couldn't reach. So here it is kind now, I, I laugh because it's kind of funny. If you can imagine like the actual feeling where you're sit standing in a shower, and you know, where the like soap, well, in the shower, the soap was down below me. It wasn't up high, you know.

Tessa (10:55):

mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Marni (10:55):

Like on a shelf, it was below my hands. And I literally was like balancing precariously on my two feet that felt like Popsicle sticks, and I couldn't reach the soap. So I'm like, I'm in the shower. I haven't showered in like, days, and all I want is the soap, and I'm trying to bend my leg. I literally can't. And then all of a

Well, hello there. I am so happy today to be able to introduce you to a friend of mine, a colleague. I've known her for years now, and we have this opportunity to co-create here on the show today. She is Marni Battista. Marni is an entrepreneur, author, transformational coach, podcast host, and radical truth seeker. And I know we're gonna hear a little bit more about her radical life journey and how that shifted things for her, her straight to the point podcast and page turning books drop beautiful pearls of wisdom that will not only make you laugh, but will also provide life-changing stories of triumph and courage to stop letting life live you and start living a life that's beyond your wildest dreams. Marnie's works have appeared in the LA Times, the New Yorker, and she's also made appearances on shows like Dr. Phil, On Air with Ryan Seacrest and more, and her new book, Your Radical Living Challenge: Seven Questions for a Meaningful Life will be published by Hay House in January, 2025. And congratulations on that and welcome, Marni.

Yay. I was thinking, Tessa, that because my daughter is going to do the Hoffman process , and I was thinking that was a long time ago that that happened, which made me think when you said a long time friend, I was like, oh, Tesa. It's been like 17 years or something.

Yes, it has . Love that . Oh my gosh. Oh, that's so amazing. And that, yes, I'm, I'm really happy for your daughter and for you also, that she's gonna do that. So, Marni, I know the listeners are gonna be happy to hear what you have to share today. So let's get going. I'd love to have you just take us down that journey. Sharing a little bit about the box you we're in before and where you've turned the corners and what you're living life like now.

Well, so I was thinking about our conversation today, and I pulled out this book written by this person named Oriah, and it's called The Invitation. And, I thought that this little passage we kind of describe best where I was. And so, this is from her book called The Invitation. And it says, "It doesn't interest me to know what you do for a living. I wanna know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love or your dream for the venture of being alive." And that's just an excerpt from her bigger body of work called The Invitation. I picked that because I think that when I look at what was life like for the soul of Marni inside the container of my physical self in 2020, I had just sort of survived, gotten through the death of my dad, and my mom had passed away 10 years before.

And, you know, tending to the paperwork and the, you know, sort of trying to put the end of someone's life all into columns in rows, , and putting it to rest. And I was really excited. It was February and almost one year passed the day my dad died. And some friends invited, my husband and I to go skiing. And, we were up in Canada and, it was like the perfect snow day. And if you would've asked me in that moment, like, was your soul being fully expressed? I would've said, Ugh, Tessa, like a golden moment. in my life. Perfect snow day with my friend. And there was a moment where we were skiing, and she was a much better skier than I was, and she went down this road, this pathway, and I thought, for just a brief second, should I go down the pathway she's going down, or should I go around this other way?

And I was like, you know what? I'm feeling pretty great today. So I went down this double black diamond, and if any of you ski, you probably know where this story ends, which was on my back , going down the mountain in a little toboggan. And that accident where I,

SNIPPET - I fractured seven bones in my sacrum, and having the world locked down with me, just a couple of weeks after that gave me this moment to really start asking questions about, who am I if I'm not doing all the things that I thought were me?

Yes. 'cause you weren't able to do anything. You were needing support and there you were. And so you really had this opportunity to do a deep dive into who you really are.

Yeah. And it was really crazy because, it was the first time, so I was on bedrest for nine weeks, and that means literally not moving, everything hurt. You know, I had to use one of those like claws that really, really old people use to grab things. notice, by the way, I said, really, really old people.

Right. We're not putting ourselves in that category at all.

No, we're not in the really, really category. Anyway, I had a walker, I called the walker, Johnny Walker I was trying to make the best of my situation. And so I couldn't do anything. I remember even a moment, and you and I were working together at the time, and I was supposed to go do a retreat, and I was like, you guys gotta go for me. And I remember going to the doctor's office like three days before, I couldn't even sit in the chair. It was, I had to lay down on the ground in the doctor office. And I was like, so I can fly Friday, right? He literally looked at me like, what planet are you living on, honey? Not to mention that the whole world was like, you know, knee deep in Clorox, and you know, Purell.

But, I was just sort of like, I just couldn't accept this new way of experiencing my life. And so it was in that like, where I couldn't read almost. I couldn't write, I couldn't do the things I love, knit. I couldn't exercise clearly. I couldn't even go downstairs. So I was living my whole life up from my bedroom listening to it happening on the floors below. People had to come up to the room and just sort of sit with me. And so that was when I started to get really curious. And the message that I got through my sort of spiritual journey at that very beginning was that, it was symbolic, you know, I had broken my sacrum, like the place, you know, of creativity, the place of all that good juju.

And someone said to me, it is time to rebuild, right? To put back together, to start over, create a new foundation. 'Cause like, your sacrum is like the center right of your beingness. And it's time to start rebuilding from your emotions and your soul rather than just your head. You know, like all that activity that was going on for my neck up. And I was like, what does that even mean? And so that was was the beginning of like, wow, I'm gonna have to start really feeling my feelings. I'm gonna have to start really exploring what are the problems that I think I have in my life? Are they really the problems? Are there deeper problems? And that really started me on this path of making different inquiries to get really honest and start looking at, if I have to rebuild, how am I gonna design it? How am I gonna create it?

Hmm. This is a really big shift, you know, in the way that you were approaching life and your relationship to it. And so I'm curious about like, if you remember one of those first really big moments where you're like, oh, uh, you know, here's who I thought I was and here's who I am now what I'm getting. Or what was one of those big initial ahas for you?

Well, there were so many, but the one that, really showed me the depth of the broken pieces that needed to get put back together was that in addition to being very busy, and very active and productive, I was also very independent and, really sort of had a belief that I could do things better than people most of the time. So why bother asking for help sort of a situation.

Mm-hmm.

And so, I had this moment where, I looked back, during this time I did 200 steps at the most a day . So on one of those days, which is a high step day, I walked from my bedroom to my bathroom, and I took a shower, and I remember thinking like, oh, I should really ask my husband to help me take a shower. And I was like, I mean, I can do this. I gotta be able to do this.

Oh, no, I'm, I'm scared. I'm scared.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

So I went to take a shower and, I didn't fall, but, after about probably maybe 90 seconds, I couldn't reach. So here it is kind now, I, I laugh because it's kind of funny. If you can imagine like the actual feeling where you're sit standing in a shower, and you know, where the like soap, well, in the shower, the soap was down below me. It wasn't up high, you know.

mm-hmm.

Like on a shelf, it was below my hands. And I literally was like balancing precariously on my two feet that felt like Popsicle sticks, and I couldn't reach the soap. So I'm like, I'm in the shower. I haven't showered in like, days, and all I want is the soap, and I'm trying to bend my leg. I literally can't. And then all of a sudden it hits me like I'm done. Like my legs are starting to quiver. Like I don't wanna fall. And so so sad. And so I give up basically, and I get out of the shower and there was like a little like, kind of bench and I was butt ass naked, and I literally sat my ass on this little tile counter thing, and I flopped over to the side.

Oh my god!

And there I was just sort of naked wet and still dirty.

And smelly

And smelly. And I was like, you know, do like Jeremy , Jeremy, you know, trying to get somebody to come, not just somebody, I was naked, my husband to come help me. And the reason why that moment was just so profound was because I just was like, I have to redo everything. I have to ask for help. I have to be vulnerable. I have to slow down. I have to stop even trying to be like the fastest recovering ski accident person on the planet, which was my goal.

Oh my goodness.

So, yeah. So it was just, I was like, wow, this is like, really, like taking things down to the studs. Like every part ha of me has to be different.

That's really remarkable. And I can't even imagine, all those thoughts coming together almost sort of like, probably like a brain spasm.

Yes.

And, you know, rocking your world. And then there's the need, like you really needed support in that moment. It's like you didn't have experience asking for it.

No, yeah, no, it was, and also I was like, wow, there's really a lot to taking a shower who knew way, way more than one would think if they're not paying attention.

Oh, yes. We can take so many things for granted, right? Yeah. Just the ability to be able to walk, to bend over, to move, to step in and out of things, to just have the freedom. And there's so much that can go by us in a moment, because we're not looking at it on that micro level, you know, in the details until we're forced to.

Yeah, absolutely.

So what was it like for you as you were starting to receive support

You were part of that, you and our colleague Sherry, you know, did the retreat. I remember, like, you know, propping myself up, so that I could be on camera for like 10 minutes and try to pull myself together. and I really felt that I was loved and supported in a way that I didn't really understand, and that inside of, you know, being supported and asking for help and all those things. there was courage. And there was strength, you know, inside of me that I didn't know that I had, to use that experience to, you know, kind of rewrite the next chapter. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was really doing. And so it's almost like in the space of asking for help and receiving and not trying so hard to be the, you know, the fastest recovery and get stuff done. I had the time and the space to start really questioning and look at what the problems that I thought that I had that were really just symptoms of like bigger issues, which ultimately came to be that I was terrified of change.

Oh, that's really interesting. So all that doing all that busyness, the getting there quickly was a way to keep the status quo.

And you know, Jeremy, our kids were leaving the nest, so they all came back for Covid, then they all left. And, you know, there was like the high of like being able to be with all of them as young women and in the house, and, you know, there's quote unquote trauma bonding, right. Of going through Covid together, you know, you're all like trapped...

Controlled and trapped

Yeah. And just like, you know, going, yeah. And it was, but it was fun, right? Like, it, there were parts of it that were super fun. And so then they left like in a flash. 'cause you know, when everyone realized this wasn't like a six week thing, and they were like, and I'm out. I'm going back to my life. And so the kids were gone. My daughter went to college, my youngest one and Jeremy wanted to leave LA and he was just so dissatisfied. And I kept sort of being like, no, you know, we're not going, we're not leaving. Like, my life is here. My life is here, my life is here, I'm here. You know?

You're like the classic cat, right. Holding onto that ledge. Like, I'm not gonna

Yes. .

Yeah.

And I was, I'm very smart, so I had a lot of really good reasons, and I could be very bossy. And I was right. I mean, a lot of things, you know, your ego be like, well see. But when I really, really started doing a lot of writing, and actually I wrote an essay, so I was taking some writing classes, and once I could kind of prop myself up again and start writing, I was like, wait, I can use all this time to write. And, I wrote this essay and I wrote this thing about how I wanted my husband to change, and that I, in writing that I realized that I had thought like, if he would just change, if he would just do these things, then I would, then that would fix my problems.

And that, you know, it was him. And, I call that the like blame, rage, too tired, too lazy to deal with it problem, you know, just like that. Right?

Yes.

And then I had, again, I kept asking these sort of wisdom seeking questions, spiritual questions around like, what's really going on? And, and then I surfaced that real problem that was like, you know, yeah. Some of that's true, and that would be great, but the truth is, I'm afraid to just change. And I'm stuck in the past, I'm stuck in the nostalgia. I'm like gonna, you know, if I wouldn't have changed, I was imagining myself like in my house, trying to just keep living my old life over and over again, waiting for my kids to come back and visit me. And it would be great. It would be fine. Right, but I'd be in the box

You had a nice house, you know, it was great. Yeah. Your kids would come and visit. You had a lot of things that you really liked, but there was no growth there for you.

Exactly.

AUDIOGRAM - I had control and I felt safe. And I think the other big takeaway was that I thought my soul was safe in that system that I built, right? Like, that was the illusion of safety. Like, oh, it's my home, this container, this external that creates internal safety. And I thought if I change the pieces like a Jenga, the game of Jenga, right? If you pull out too many pieces, what happens? It crashes.

And so I was like, uh, you know what? I already pulled out all these pieces with the ski accident. I pulled out some more when my kids left. Like, it's just you and me, honey, in LA, you know? And like, I just, there's, I can't pull out one more piece or the whole thing will come crumbling down.

But wait a second. Oh, yeah. So you were having that fear and so you weren't really understanding yet how infinite and how strong your soul can be.

Exactly. I was not listening at all. I thought that my soul needed all these external things, and so I was just resourcing my soul's energy from achieving the house in LA like the conditions.

Yeah.

They cannot change the conditions.

Wow. So that had to like, build up and get a little intense for you.

It was very intense. There were lots of arguments. I wrote that essay, it got published in the LA Times. My husband was like, wow, , so you're blaming this all on me, huh? I'm like, yeah, but the truth is, you know, and then the punchline of the essay is, you know, no, it's not his fault. So that was when I said, okay, I am willing to go through a process. So here's what's really interesting, Tessa, actually, I don't even know if I shared this with you. So I was like, okay, so I get it. I'm terrified of change. I'm like, you know, I got all these conditions, I wonder. So my intellect was like, I wonder like if there are coaches or books about like how to do like the next chapter of your life after as an empty nester.

So I spent like an hour or two kind of researching and it was really interesting. 'cause all I found were things about like how to get a hobby, , .

Oh my God.

You know? And like how to like, you know, make sure you give your kids spa. Like, it was so basic. And I was like, I don't need a hobby of plenty of things I love to do. I am very good most of the time at like, you know, being connected to my kids, but giving them space to be who they are. I was like, where do I go? And so the universe, I just kept listening to my soul. 'cause I started listening a little bit then, and the universe sort of directed me in this direction of this process called life design. And that was when I ran into a mentor named Jessica Fisk.

And she had kind of built on some other design life goal, life planning stuff that I've been doing for like years. And it all kind of came together with my own work and my spiritual practice. And then I was like, wait, okay, here's the structured way to design a life that I really love on my terms. And the input, the way I'm gonna design it is really rediscovering what is there for me. What is my soul? How can I access the truth of what is there, of who I am and what I am energetically and all of those things by actually getting rid of all that I thought it was, and starting with a blank slate and actually trying to figure that out. And that was the beginning. Ultimately what landed in a very big experiment that ended up being what we now call the radical living challenge.

Yeah. So just frame that a little bit for the listeners here.

So as we were doing this process, and it's kind of interesting because in this process, and I do that now with my clients, and there's like this, my mind mapping kind of process. And I was just looking back at this because I re-went through this process and I had like scribbled down at some things in a structured, brainstorming way. And what I came up with was and this is like kind of the net my ideal experiences in my life are these things in nature. And I'm outside and I'm really connecting and I'm exploring and I love new things. And Jeremy and I just kind of looked at each other and we were like, well, what if we could design a life where our peak experiences were our actual everyday life? And that was the beginning of doing a lot of intentional experimenting, which I can describe if you want later. That ended up, the punchline is we sold the house after 20 something years, put half of it in storage, bought a big ass 40 foot rv, and ended up driving around the country of America. Trying to figure out what blows my hair back, what really lights up my soul? What is really resonant and is my soul's expression here on earth now?

Hmm. Would you like to share one of those pieces that you discovered?

Yeah. It's really interesting in that when I, so when I first did this work and I was discovering what is my soul? What are the qualities of my soul? It was like nature. It was like outdoors. It was leading teaching on the stage. It was small groups, one-on-one, but, you know, something big. And my core motivations didn't really change that much. It was like, you know, to make an impact to help others to, you know, create a ripple effect. So that was sort of how it started out. And when I revisited that exercise, that process just last weekend, 'cause I'm looking at what are the next five years do I want them to look like, I was like, oh my gosh, my what, what I am, what lights me up, what blows my hair back, how I like to do it, like, expanded and really shifted as I went out and started living my life in this more soul expressed way. And I told you before we started the show, I was like, I would've never known the expansiveness of what I really am. Had I not intentionally made this inquiry and started to create a life from that place. On a blank canvas.

Yes. You know, I think this is such a common denominator for so many people. And we see it just kind of in our basic, at a basic level in our practices and working with clients where they might come to us for one problem, and then they're like, oh my word, this is blow my, like, I had no idea these other things were possible. Like, I had no idea this was even a thing missing for me. But you, you went to kind of, you know, this big place you chose to follow the soul. That's not a a small thing, right? When we start to listen to the soul and we're really being honest with ourselves and looking at the details and the nuance and the feelings and sensations, all that stuff of the truth of what is in our heart, and beyond that, then we can't deny the answers that we're getting.

Well, yeah, exactly. So when I started thinking about that, like there were some things that were the same, you know, like exploring and family and novel and teaching and being out in nature. But there were new things like challenging myself to do and learn new things that are physical. There's this whole part of me that's a writer that was very limited in just like, reading books and doing a little bit of writing. But in this experiment, one of the things that the Radical Living Challenge was very definitive of like, I was gonna create my own version of a master's in fine arts program. Like, I wasn't gonna go get an MFA, but I wanted to create my own. And so in my new expanded, you know what it's like, I wrote anything that has to do with being a writer, writing, reading, writing, workshop, publishing, writer branding, like the whole conversation about publishing, like all of those things became my passion. And I literally thought, I just like to read books.

That's incredible. So you just kind of described a piece of the intentional experiment, and one of those elements, or one of those methods is to like it's an immersion.

Yes. It's an immersion. And so you go through this process and you kind of create these mind maps, and then you have these like little scribbles of ideas. And then the fun part I think is like brainstorming, well, what could I try like coming up with a list of a ton of possibilities. And this is all based on design thinking that come the preeminent like leader in design thinking is outta Stanford University. And if you think about this and how is it applied in the business world, is that there are professionals, consultants whose lives are devoted to actually designing things for users. And it's obvious, but like, who knew that was a career path? It's just coincidentally happened to be the career path that my daughter is in. That was just so random. So I was like, wait, I finally get what you do. But like, so one of the first stages when they do design a product like an app or something that you're using on your laptop or you know ear pod pods, right? Or whatever it is, you have to first understand

There still pods, please. Just...

Yeah, right. Just pods. You have to understand the user of the product, like in depth everything about them. And so the first part of this is you have to get into your soul. You're the user, your soul is the actual user of your life and your body and your mind, right? And so you're like, cool, well, what's in there? So that exploration then leads to brainstorming about, well, if I were to express that, like what are all the different ways that I could do that? So one was the create my own master's program. And the other one was the RV Experience. Like actually live outdoors, live in an rv, be new and novel a hundred percent, and drive around the country and further explore this topic, which I ended up being so passionate about. I wrote this book proposal that I ended up selling the book that is now the book that's gonna come out, which is a a hundred percent like an expression of my soul's work in all that I do.

Mm-hmm. . That's so beautiful. And yeah, I'm very excited for you about this book, and I know you're working with it now and, you know, doing little focus groups and things like that and guiding others to have their own experiments and follow the calling of their soul.

Yeah. So absolutely. I think the other thing I just wanna say in terms of work, 'cause I think this is a really important piece for those that are thinking about work. When I did this most recently, I was very surprised, but not really because I did change my entire business and what I do in my model and all of those things. But I wrote down what I no longer love is leading or managing like, groups of people. And that was in my what before in my little box. And the other thing that went away was speaking to many, like speaking on the stage.

Amazing. Yeah,

Yeah. Like, I love doing it. But the joy had gone out of it because it was becoming like very much like, you're gonna go do these four things, then you're gonna speak these three weak. And like the joy and the passion. It was not coming from that place anymore. It was very like, in order to get this and that didn't feel aligned. And then I was like, well, if I'm not caring about that, do I really want to do that? And I was like, maybe, but not that much. And I don't even know. So I would've never known that either if I wouldn't have sort of started making these questions really big in my life.

That's so great because you were also really willing to let go of what wasn't serving you any longer.

Well, I wasn't really willing, but I became really willing.

Oh, .

Well, I learned how to surrender.

Yeah.

And I learned about radical faith and that was a big transition and that was part of my soul's journey. And so I was willing to be challenged.

Lovely. Yes. And you're like, challenge me, you, you're okay. I can sort of imagine you like, "just challenge me, I'm gonna show you." And then you get in it and you're like, well, wait a second. Okay. That's not resonating.

That's so funny because in my fantasy, one of the, another essay I wrote, I talked about like watching Survivor, which you and I like to watch. And I'm one of the people who watch Survivor or any of those adventure shows, and I never think, wow, I'd love to do that. I think I wish I was a person who wanted to do that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I like the idea of, and this is what I wrote about, like, I like the idea that afterwards these people will be like, this changed me. I learned this about myself. I grew in this way. And what I honed in on is that, if I could create something where I would get that, I would love it. And what's funny is no, did I go like live on an island for like 28 days and eat rice? No. However, in my world, it felt like that, right? Like, because I thought it was gonna be like a fun vacation to Fiji with a bunch of cool people and be on tv, you know? And then you watch the people and they're like, okay, this is so much harder than it looks like on tv. And that's what I felt like when I was going through, through a lot of it was like, I wanted a challenge, but I didn't want it to be challenging. .

. That's hysterical. Yeah. Like, oh, I want my master's, but it better just be easy.

Exactly. And that is not my soul. There is no presto change out. I think like, it's like, okay, you wanna grow and learn, let's do it. And you're gonna learn a lot along the way. And that was really what happened.

Absolutely. You did the sheroes journey. Marni.

Thank you. It's been fun. I'm still in it. It's been really fun.

Of course, yes. It doesn't end if we keep saying yes to it. That's right.

Exactly.

All right. If you could give one tip or piece of advice or guidance to our listeners, what would that be?

Well, I will go back to where I started, right? And this is this invitation, right? And I think tha in the end, we think that it's those things like what we do for a living or our aging or the pain of our past, that these are the things that define us or make a meaningful life. And the truth is in this invitation she says, I wanna know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty every day. I wanna know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon. Yes. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruise to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. I wanna know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. And really that's it, right? It's like, change the GPS and rather than search for the stuff, do the inner search, because that is the piece and the beauty and the joy of what makes a life, in my opinion, fulfilling and meaningful.

Exactly. Thank you for that. And thank you for bringing the part of the Invitation to us. One of my favorites. And you know, I think really all of this is about listening to that ache within and learning from it.

Yeah.

So Marni, tell us how can everybody get in contact with you?

Yeah, so you can find me on various social media, but I have 30 day process that people can do daily to help get in touch with that space inside. And so they can find that at my website instituteforlivingcourageously.com, which might be the longest and hardest to spell website URL ever, and it says, sign up to get the calm process and just click on Yes, I want this.

Fantastic. And that process has helped a lot of people. So if you are wanting some calm, a little more presence in your life, it's a great gift. Marni, thank you so much for being here with us today. I'm just so happy that we were able to collaborate in this new way. Oh yeah. And Marni, you're give a quick little mention about your podcast, just the podcast name if you want.

Oh yeah, sure. Thank you Tessa. So I do a show with great guests like Tessa, we've done a bunch, it's called Life Check Yourself and you can find it on Apple and Spotify and all those places that you listen to podcasts, as well as our YouTube channel, Life Check Yourself, with lots of extra bonus content there as well.

Great. Alright, so that is gonna be our show today. And I just want to encourage all of you for listening. It might be, oh my gosh, I could never do like an MA on myself that would just be joint dense. Or why does the soul journey have to be so hard or stir things up? Like, I don't wanna have a fight with my husband. Just know that everybody's soul journey is different and the riches, the treasures of life really start coming in when you start to listen and pay attention and do that deeper digging. So I will see you all soon, or you will hear me soon. And for now, I wish you light and blessings.