In this thought provoking episode of The Grit Show, Shawna Rodrigues cracks the code of self-care with wit and warmth, revealing how we can become the mechanics of our own wellbeing. Through reflections on her first rundown car and some candid insights Shawna explores self-maintenance with an intimate lens. She'll prompt you to interrogate the music of your life – is it a lullaby or a distraction from deeper issues? This episode isn't just about anecdotes of past roadside rescues; it's an invitation to look inward and perform the necessary upkeep. With a tune-up of laughter, stories of past struggles, and fresh perspectives, this is your chance to recalibrate. Are you content with the temporary fix, or are you ready for the full overhaul? Join us for an episode that will get your gears turning and pave the path to your best self. Will you identify your distractions and start fine-tuning your life for personal growth? Are you ready for more self care? Be sure to subscribe or follow for more episodes that can change your life's trajectory.

Podcast episode referenced with Matt McKinnon on more ways to take care of yourself-

Conquer the Stress Cycle & Focus on Your Well Being- How to Escape Burnout: Part 1 -57

Actionable Solutions, Blissful Rest & Modern Stressors- How to Escape Burnout: Part 2 -58

Interested in The Me List by Julee Balko? You should definitely check it out, it's great fiction (think book club read/women's fiction) and a good way to reflect on relationships, self care, and how we prioritize ourselves.

If you use these affiliate links- https://amzn.to/4cGezSZ; Bookshop.org it also does a little to help out the podcast!

Shawna Rodrigues left her award-winning career in the public sector in 2019 and after launching The Grit Show, soon learned the abysmal fact that women hosted only 27% of podcasts. This led to the founding of the Authentic Connections Podcast Network intent on raising that number by 10% in five years- 37 by 27. Because really, shouldn’t it be closer to 50%? She is the Director of Impact for the network, which offers full-service support for podcasting from mentoring to production. In September 2023 they are also launching the EPAC (Entrepreneurs and Podcasters Authentically Connected) community for those in early stages and wanting a place for weekly connection. She still finds a little time for her pursuits as a best-selling author and shares the hosting of Author Express, a podcast that features the voice behind the pages of your favorite book. Find her on Instagram- @ShawnaPodcasts and learn more about the network and other happenings at https://linktr.ee/37by27.

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What are the things that have the most volume in your life? If you're driving down the highway of life, what is the stereo? The music? What has turned out the loudest and taking up the most space? Have you ever thought about that? We'll have a deeper conversation today. We're going to go into depth about what might be the thing that you have turned up. And we have a nice little story to help give that a bit of context on how that might play into your self-care and your self-maintenance. How it might be a bit of a distraction from that or something that might be blocking that out and covering it up a bit. It's a bit of a concept, but I think by the end of the show, you'll definitely have your head wrapped around it. I'm glad you're here today as we talk about cars, self-maintenance, and what we have playing on the radio.

Welcome to The Grit Show, where our focus is growth on purpose. I am your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen, I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates the friend that thinks of them, and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.

Do you remember your first car? Your very, very first car? Mine was orange. Of all colors, it was orange. It was definitely the 90s. And my car was from 1980. Yes, I've definitely dated myself. But y'all knew. Y'all knew I might have had a car in the 90s. And I worked so hard to have that car. My dad and I actually had to reupholster it. It was a junkyard car. It was amazing what a deal I got on it. My insurance was really the big goal after I paid off the car, to be able to have money to pay insurance so I could drive that car. That car, unfortunately, had a fate that is a story for another day. That had nothing to do with me, actually, but I had to get another one. So, I got the silver bullet. It was the same make and model, but different design. My first one was a hatchback, and my second, Datsun 210, was not. It was a silver sedan, and I called it the silver bullet. And that was the car that I had for quite some time. I actually don't remember what happened to that silver bullet. But my Datsun 210 was my very first car, or the first car that I that I drove. The other one I barely had. And there was a joke that my dad had about my car. It was a junk car. Like, it did not have a pretty paint job. It ran a little rough. It definitely broke down a time or two, which is amazing, because there were not cell phones when I was in high school to be able to call somebody when you needed help.

There's another funny story about me changing a tire in a long black dress on the side of the road. But I did change that tire, and the spare was flat, so I had to climb up a fence and go to a business to get off the highway to be able to call and get help. But driving cars when I was in high school was not the same as it is today. But I definitely was a scrapper. And I definitely, my car was a reflection of, did what you did to get by and whatever else. But my dad had a great joke about me and my car, and that was that as long as my stereo worked, which there was one time it didn't, and I came home with all sorts of questions about what was wrong with my car. As long as my stereo worked, my car worked. Because if my music was turned on and playing loud, I didn't hear any of the other things going on or any other problems that my car might have. So, that was the solution. As long as Shawna's stereo was working, her car was working, too.

So, today, our episode is going to be focused on looking at that a little deeper, looking at the concept around, is your stereo turned up loud enough that you may not be aware of some of the other things that aren't working well? Or do you keep turning up your stereo so you don't have to possibly hear some of those other things that aren't working well? Because, as you know, on The Grit Show, big part of our conversation is self-maintenance. And the term self-maintenance largely came from that concept about how, just like you had to maintain a car, which, yes, I am overdue for my oil change, just like you have to maintain a car, you have to maintain yourself.

And when we talk about self-maintenance, we talk about self-care. We are talking about the things you need to do. You can continue functioning at optimal capacity, so you can continue functioning, period. You don't change the oil in your car, your engine's going to explode. Wow. I have a story about that, too. I have so many car stories, we could be doing a whole, like, ten-episode series on me and cars, y'all. My car engine did explode, but it wasn't my fault. It was actually the people who changed my oil’s fault. But that's a whole other story that definitely fits into another episode. So, we'll save that for another episode, another day.

Back to the point about changing your oil. If you don't change your oil, if you don't change your oil properly, as is the case, it did cause my engine to explode and my car stopped running. If you don't get those things done, your car can't run. Your car can't function. It can't operate. So, when we talk about self-care and self-maintenance, we are talking about the things that need to be done in your life so that you can continue functioning and continue doing the things you need to do and keep going. And it's interesting because over the evolution of the show, we've had so many different guests and so many different conversations about what folks do, and it is so individualized. Have you recognized that? Have you seen that? Has that really stood out for you as well as you've listened to the show and being part of this community? It changes for everyone what that might be. And we can definitely have some parameters that reflection, time to yourself, things that make you feel replenished. It's a formula, but how that formula applies varies.

And we had one specific guest that actually told us that she didn't think that pedicures, manicures, and massages were self-care, and she was very frustrated with that concept. And you all know me. You've heard me chat. I love my massages, I love my pedicures, and I feel like that’s self-care. I don't think manicures are, but my sister does. She loves her manicures, and that is her self-care. That is something she does for herself. And it is her time where she does something that makes her feel good about herself. She does something where she gets to be quiet or visit with a friend who's doing her nails, and it's the thing she does for herself that makes her feel good and is her time away.

And so, it's more those pieces than her having pretty nails. Right? And so, when I go and get a pedicure, it's about me shutting off the world and taking care of me and having that quiet time. And if I go when I'm doing work, which has happened in the past, it doesn't feel like it's self-care. It's me making my toes look nice because I'm going to go on a trip or I'm going to wear sandals. If I go and I'm reading a book or I'm sitting quietly with my eyes closed and having a few minutes to myself and enjoying getting my foot massaged, then it feels like I'm doing something for me to take care of myself and reset my batteries. Right? So, it's how you do it. And we have our entire episode with Matt McKinnon from late last summer where we talked about it. And I'm going to put it in the show notes. And we talked about burnout, and we talked about the stress cycle, and we talked about multiple different ways you can help to reset the stress cycle and how you can prevent burnout. And in that conversation, we talked about how different those things can look for different people. Right? So, it's definitely important that we acknowledge that it's different. Self-maintenance is different for everyone, and you need to find what works for you. And we've talked about how that can change. And when something becomes stressful, it's no longer self-care. So, you need to find what's going to work for you right now in the moment with your life. And it might be that it was waking up at 05:00 a.m. And now that's no longer the case. And it's stressful to wake up at 05:00 a.m. And it no longer is that peaceful, quiet time because there's a new addition to your life that makes that no longer your special quiet time. So, it can be evolving, but you need to evaluate that and look at it.

And today we're going to look at things a little bit differently. And what might be the 2 pieces, right? That my car not functioning well because I'm not taking care of it, right? I'm not taking care of the car, not getting things fixed, not putting on tires when they're needed, not making sure that my car is safe with the right tires on. I'm not getting the oil changed. I'm not paying attention to when there's a rattling noise that might mean that something needs to happen with my current vehicle, which we'll talk a little bit more about the evolution of vehicles and supports towards the end of the episode. But my current vehicle, I noticed the noise, so I wasn't apparently driving all the time with my music turned all the way up and noticed the noise and was able to take it to the shop. And when I took it to the shop, was able to get my engine replaced before most people even would have realized they need to have their engine replaced because I knew that that noise wasn't a good noise and I got it taken care of. So, I'm not the same girl who at 16, 17 just turned out the music whenever there was something wrong and never knew what those strange noises were or what those things are. At least I'm not that way with my car. In my life, there might be ways that I turn the music on so that I don't hear that strange rattling noise, so that I'm not aware of the fact things aren't firing correctly and that there's a little too much road noise that might mean that my tires might not be doing well.

All those little signals that you can get from your car, the music hasn't turned out too loud, are things in my life that there might be ways that I'm occasionally turning up the music so that I don't pay attention to those other pieces. So, today in our conversation, I want us to get curious about that. Curious about what the music might be and what the rattling noise might be, what the little squeal whistling with the brakes might be to let us know that it might be time to get the brake pads replaced and that we might need to pay attention to the sound on the rubber, on the pavement. Understand that we're not getting the same grab, what those things might actually be. For example, I tend to be someone who works a lot. I don't want to be someone who works a lot.

I go through stretches in my life where I make great efforts to be somebody who works less. And I'm much better at prioritizing certain people and certain things that take precedence over my work. And I do fairly well with that. But especially at certain points in my life, I have been someone who lets the noise of work be turned up to the point that I can't hear the other things in my life. Is that something that possibly you do? Or someone you know does? That work as the music they turn up so they can't hear the other things? And it's not always intentional. Like when I was 16, driving around my car on. I wasn't trying to drown out the sounds of my car, I just liked my music up loud, right? And oh, oh, oh, no, that's, Dad, I didn't hear that noise. Dad, what do you mean when I pulled up, there's a sound coming from my engine that doesn't sound good? I have a music on. I didn't hear it. So, it's not always an intentional thing that you have that music up loud, right? It could just be that the music's up so loud, you don't hear the other things, and you could be enjoying the music being up loud. Or it might be that it's easier to have the music up loud than to have to listen to that noise. And part of you is turning the music up louder to not hear that noise.

Currently, I have a relationship I love being in and having time for. But there are other points in time where I would admit that I did not feel successful in my relationship. And it was much easier to stay at work where I felt more successful than it was to come home, where I did not feel as successful. And I wasn't sure what to do with that. So, I was glad they turn up the music so I couldn't hear the other sounds that might be indicating something was wrong. I think it's kind of natural, don't you? Wouldn't we rather have louder music and less of that clingy noise where the squeal of the brakes, instead of pausing to figure out how to actually fix that noise and take that noise away so we don't have to turn the music up? Definitely food for thought, right? We're not going to spend a ton of time on this because if it resonated, you probably already know what I'm talking about. You probably know the one thing that is being turned up, whether that's scrolling through your phone, is the music in your life that's the noise you're creating to kind of drown out some of the other things, whether it's spending time with certain people to avoid time with other people or other things, there might be the one thing you don't want to hear, that you don't want to turn up, that you want to have other things drown out.

And it might be possible that it's something that you can fix and it might be stressful. When I took in my Volvo XC 90 and found out I had to have the engine replaced, fortunately, I got a very good deal on that car, and it now has 230, 220, 200, 300 miles. There's a lot of miles on it. So, I put some miles on that engine that I got put in there, and it was a used engine. And interestingly enough, I still was under the price that I was willing to pay for a vehicle when I got that car, even once I got that engine replaced, because I think it had about a year, year and a half when I replaced the engine on it. But, you know, it's a big blow to have to replace the engine on a car. And I love that car. And I'm so glad I got that car. So much happier once the engine was replaced and never have to worry about being stranded and glad I fixed it when I did instead of letting it get worse and getting stranded on the side of the road and having a towing bill. Plus, having to get that engine replaced right and be able to take it to the mechanic I trusted and wanted to work with instead of whatever mechanic was closest to tell me that I needed my engine replaced, to be able to take care of it on my terms. So, just the thought about the possibility of turning the music down, listening to what's not working, and getting it diagnosed and getting it figured out what is to be done, to get rid of that noise that's not quite right, that makes you know that you might need to fix something and getting that something fixed.

Which brings us to another fun story. Love of my life. You might have heard of him a time or 2. He has a great story he tells, which I'd forgotten about until he reentered my life. But the summer he and I dated between my senior year of high school and when I started college, I had a screwdriver in my glove box, and apparently, I needed it occasionally to start my car. And guessing I was bypassing the starter with a trick my dad had taught me. Whatever it was, I don't remember the specifics. Again, I was 18 years old, right? It's been a while, but he loves the story about one of the things he loved about me, even back then, and it struck him about me, is that I was not the girl that got stranded on the side of the road. Although, as I've mentioned, that did happen a time or 2. But I did climb fences in a long black velvet dress and get out of that situation, too. However, I was a girl with a screwdriver in my glovebox and could magically pop the hood of my car and lickety split, start my car up and casually put the screwdriver back and go about my day as if nothing had just happened versus dissolving in a puddle of tears and not knowing how to take care of the situation and feeling as though I had no resources, et cetera, et cetera. And I'm sure there's many situations that get me in that place, but this is a good example of the fact that I didn't have that much money when I was 18.

I had a car that was a bit of a bucket of bolts, as we are learning, right? There's another story. A car I had in college that I had an extension cord that went from the front of the vehicle to the back of the vehicle so that my taillights would work, so I wouldn't get pulled over because I was hot wiring them from the battery. Again, not something I could do today, something I did when I was in Louisiana that my dad coached me through over the phone. I am extremely fortunate, extremely grateful that I had a father that not only was mechanically inclined and brilliant at these things, but also would take the time to show and educate his daughter, which I understand is a huge advantage. I know lots of men who didn't learn these things from their fathers, and plenty of daughters whose fathers would never think to teach them these things. And I am a naturally curious individual who likes to learn things, but also very fortunate that my father took the time to show me all these tips and tricks so that I could have a bucket of bolts, which is all I could afford, that he could teach me these ways to keep me on the road and keep me going where I needed to go, and would help me out in those ways. I'm so grateful for that. Right? Not everyone gets that.

I tell you these stories because I understand that in my 30s, maybe even 40s at the time, 30s, I could take my vehicle to mechanic and have the resources, aka credit card, to get a new engine put into my vehicle. That when I purchased it, I budgeted that I might need something done for it because it had some miles on it. And I was able to do that, right? When I was 17, 16, 19, 20, whatever in college, I did not have those resources. I had to rely on people I knew. I didn't have YouTube then, you have YouTube now, right? The other resources I had available to me to make it so I can move through the world and be successful with what was available to me. My dad is the ultimate MacGyver, and in some ways, he made me a bit of a MacGyver. And that reference that probably many of you did not get is a reference to a tv show of a guy who would create things and do things out of nothing. And I'm definitely a problem solver, and it comes from my dad, who was definitely a problem solver. But part of my ability to problem solve was finding resources. And my dad, fortunate for me, and I understand how privileged I was to have him, was a resource for me that I could call and do that. And so, I didn't just stay home when my tail lights didn't work, I called my dad. I got, ahold, of an extension cord, I went out there and figured out how to wire it to my battery and attach it to my taillights, and it didn't slow me down. And fast forward many years later, made sure that I could afford a car that I didn't have to do those things to and could take it to mechanic, and found the discerning ability to figure out who was a good mechanic I should trust and to do those things for me. Right?

So, it's an evolution. And as you are finding these things, because again, this is all a metaphor, right? It's a metaphor for the ways we take care of ourselves. So, we are these cars, this dots in 210, this Dodge Colt, this Volvo XC 90, like we are that vehicle, right? And in order to maintain those vehicles, I had to call for help, learn tools and techniques, apply them, and keep it on the road and keep it moving. And as an adult, I got better resources, easier to use resources and applied them and just kept doing the same thing. So, instead of turning my radio up and ignoring things, I got better turning the radio down, taking it to the mechanic straight away, finding out what's going on, what's wrong, what needs to be fixed, let's take care of it. Let's be proactive before there's a breakdown inside of the road, because I've had plenty of those in my lifetime. Let's figure out how we can keep it on the road and minimize what's happening. In fact, I think the way that actually worked out, that I was able to time it when I had dear friends in town and they were going to have a rental car anyway, and so then they could have my parking spot at my apartment complex with their rental car. And I just worked from home when they were out running around. And then we did the trips together, and I was in their vehicle with them, and it was no big deal that I didn't have a car for the few days that they were replacing my engine.

The point is, as we get better at turning down the radio, as we get better at not letting work be the noise, not letting the video games be the noise, not let scrolling through our phone be the noise, and we're able to turn it down and be in the quiet so we can assess. There's a little squeal on the brakes, there's a little knocking in the engine, there's a little rattling somewhere, and things aren't working quite right and we need to adjust and fix something, that even if we're at the place in life that we need to call a resource, and we need to manually get an electrical cord and take it from the battery in the front of the car and Jimmy DeLong to get it through the trunk to the taillights and hook it up to get those taillights to work, we can do that. And when we get to the place in life where we can take it to somebody and just say, will you look at this and tell me what's not working and give me the solution so I can do the solution? That we can also do that. And it's an evolution, right? 16-year-old Shawna had screwdriver in the glove box and knew how to go out there and Jimmy make it work and keep going about her business, right? But Shawna now, she takes it somewhere and says, can you please fix this? And that works. But as me turning down the radio enough to know that I need to get something done or remembering to get that regular maintenance done so things stay on the road and things keep going.

So, whether you need to call someone, get assistance, find a YouTube video, listen to a podcast, find a good book, or get another support, or if you can take yourself to a professional that can help diagnose and fix things and support things and give you a guide and tools to do that, to work on a relationship, to work on the things that are creating the squeaks and those things that aren't working right, to support you with the eating habits you want to work around, the exercise to make your body stronger, the relationship you're not sure how to make better that you don't know if you want to be in or not, or you know you want to be in. And you want to find ways to better communicate. Whether you're starting with getting a book from the library, listening to a podcast, or you're ready to go get help from somebody that can walk you through that path, they're all good choices. And you can be wherever you are in the continuum and whatever resources you're ready to reach out for. And that's what we're here to talk about today, that self-maintenance means turning down the volume on the radio so you can assess where there might be a little squeal or a little squeak or a little bit of noise so that you can get it to be working in optimal capacity and to always be getting the checkups and the oil changes and the air on the tires inflated and make sure things are in alignment. And that's why it's self-maintenance instead of self-care, because it really is just like you maintain your car, you maintain your house, you maintain things for them to work, for you to be here on this earth living your life to its fullest, functioning to your best ability, you need to do those things to maintain yourself. And figuring out what things need maintenance is part of it. And those are the first steps.

That's our conversation for today. I hope it was valuable for you and I appreciate you being here for it. And as we talk about our self-maintenance minute, I'm actually excited to share with you what I did this past weekend. I actually finished a book. It did require it being an audiobook because I am having a hard time sitting still. I got a few things I'm juggling right now. My plate is very full and I am careful how I'm wording that because it's important how I view and see that in my world, right? I'm choosing the things I have in my world right now, and it is very full and it’s full of good things. But I still want to fit in the things that are nurturing and important to me and they feel good to me.

So, the book that I, the audiobook that I listened to, I also had it on my Kindle and the audiobook went out. It's a little easier for me to get to. It’s called, The Me List. The Me List by Julee Balko. This book had such relatable characters. I enjoy getting to know them. I appreciated what they grappled with, and they grappled with it in a very real way. You weren't always sure the direction they were going to take with it as they kind of turned things over that they were dealing with. But at the heart of it is this exploration of the people in our lives and the roles they play. But most importantly, the role we play for ourselves and the things we do for ourselves. And it has this through line about really self-care and The Me List, the point of the book is having a list of things that you're doing for yourself, which was fabulous. And if you've never had a list of things you do for yourself, then you definitely need to read the book so you can get acquainted with the concept. And if you are somebody who does that, it's just a delightful book. I think it's about friendships and trying to find where we connect, whether we're a stay-at-home mom or somebody busily trying to find our way in a career or in building a business, just trying to find where we fit and who we connect with and those transitions and the complications of that and finding ourselves in the middle of it all. It really is kind of a coming of age for adults because we're all still becoming and figuring ourselves out. So, I had a delightful time connecting with that book. I had a lot of stuff that I was balancing and working through. I was visiting family and doing wedding preparations and had a little work stuff in the background, so I had a lot out of my plate. So, it was kind of nice to have as my little escape to get to that book and be connected to those characters and what they were processing and working through and connecting with. So, I highly recommend The Me List. And it's always nice to have reading or an audiobook as a little means of escape and having some me time, right? Because self-care really is at the core me time, right? And prioritizing yourself. So, that was my self-maintenance minute is The Me List by Julee Balco. And I will actually put a link in the show notes if you are interested in learning more about that book because I highly recommend it.

And then for our grit wit today, I would just love for you to think a little bit more about what the noise might be, what your radio is that you're turning up. What might be the thing that distracts you from being able to figure out and see the signals of other things in your life that might need more attention or might need more maintenance. What's the thing that you let distract you? Which can be nice sometimes, right? Like me turning up the music when I was 17 in my car was a beautiful thing. It wasn’t an intentional drowning out of the sounds of my vehicle not working perfectly, right? It was just something I enjoyed more than listening to the sounds of my car working not well. But what might be the things that are taking up space and have enough volume that they're making it harder to hear and discern the other things that might be needing your time and attention and some strategies around. So, don't even worry about getting to the strategies about figuring out if you're going to be calling up your resources, finding the YouTube videos for how to get that extension cord back to the taillights. Just start with trying to figure out what that might be, what your radio is that you turn up to kind of drown out the other pieces just for awareness. That's just the first step, right? So, that is our grit wit for today, is to think that through a little bit. I hope you enjoyed our conversation and looking at self-maintenance a little bit deeper, self-care in new light, and that you enjoyed my stories of me and my cars. I have more of them than I realized.

Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us at The.Grit.Show. And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network at 37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got. And that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are, too.